They Are Trying To Define Manhood For You: Why Black Men Are Choosing To Do It Themselves

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Today, I want to talk a little bit about um some of the prescriptive practicing practices I'm noticing coming from um various groups of women. And I found some of them to be uh kind of mind-blowing in a certain respect, especially when you step back and think about it. Right? Um and there's more going on than just the analysis that they try to present in that respect. So, I figured this is a good time to kind of check that out.

So, first and foremost, let's start with this. Now, this is from CNN and it's dealing with this issue they call man camps. It's real interesting, right? Um as a matter of fact, there is a CNN article about it, uh but it is behind a paywall. So, I had to make some adjustments in terms of that, so I can't show you uh it, but I will read portions of it. But um it is dealing with what they're calling a man camp, and there's an exclusive, right? Where there's a woman who is trying to save men from themselves. Right? The uh forward reads, "The intensive 5-day retreat welcomes only America's dudes, bros, lads, sons, and fathers. With a crucial exception, the project is the brainchild of a woman, Lori Jean Glass. Glass has run male mental health retreats for over a decade and worked with hundreds of men. At first, many reluctantly signed up uh at the urging of their wives, some of whom had previously attended her women's retreats, but demand has surged, and more men are coming on their own terms," she says, "as they become increasingly lost in the lonelier, more divided, and seemingly more macho society."

And if you thought that was a dig at the manosphere, you better believe it. And they explicitly call it out later in the article, right? So, I'll read you a portion of this. Uh, this is a the full article is called inside an exclusive man camp where one woman is trying to save men from themselves. Right? Now, you just you'd be hard-pressed to find, um, you know, woman camps run by men where they could advertise freely that there's a one man trying to save women from themselves. I've seen elements of that, um, with certain speakers. Uh, one whose name, uh, I've seen his face in my head, but his name I can't bring his name to mind. But what I what I find interesting about it is they don't advertise their services this way. They're not in CNN talking about how they're trying to save women from themselves. They always have to have some kind of, you know, uh, surface level uh, non-confrontational kind of title that wouldn't even invite, uh, controversy. But here, you could see it framed as a woman saving men from themselves. Right? So, this was a this came out earlier today. It's low it's, uh, focusing on Sonoma, California. All right, it says, uh, this valley knows a thing or two about weakness. Years of patience, failure, and rebirth are baked into its volcanic soil. Oh god. They're how long Now, this thing I should tell you, this article is 17 pages long. So, I will not be going through even a significant portion of this. I'm just going to give you the broad strokes. So, I'm going to cut down some of the fluff uh, describing the gates of the house. I mean, this is ridiculous. Uh, the intense 5-day retreat welcomes, uh, what I said earlier. Uh, basically dues invented by Lori Jean Glass. And it says Glass has run the institute. I talked about this. All right, so men are struggling, Glass tells CNN. Some lack positive leaders, she said. Others get canceled too quickly, she believes. Employment opportunities are drying up for many. And others learn from any early age not to talk or learn from an early age not to talk about their feelings.

So, here we go again. Right? The same tropes that I talked about in the other articles. You're going to have attacks on on men's spaces, you know, whether they're manosphere or not, they're going to be labeled such. And there are attacks on this idea that men, you know, just learn that they're not supposed to feel anything, which I think is a popular kind of reduction to something that's a little more nuanced than that. I mean, basically what men learn is not to prioritize their feelings as it relates to uh decision-making. But it isn't that you can't feel. It just means you can't run off those feelings. That tends to be dangerous for men, black men most especially. Right? You run off feelings, you're likely to find yourself in a prison cell. Anyway, uh it continues. Um to her, it all adds up to one thing. Throughout the country and all across age groups, men are having a hard time. There's plenty of evidence Glass could point to. A Gallup study last year found that one in four young men felt lonely the previous day. Around one in six say they have no close friends. The Survey Center on American Life, a part of the American Enterprise Institute, found in 2021 five times more than three decades uh five times more than three decades earlier, American men are less likely than women to be diagnosed with depression, but four times more likely to die by suicide, a disparity that researchers say indicates many are suffering in silence.

Now, what I find interesting alongside that is in the last 40 years, there's been uh really an attack on male spaces to the point where they've all had to make be exposed. I mean, whether you're talking about the barbershop, the boys club, uh you know, even media, you know, when it comes to uh products or or videos or movies, anything targeted at boys has been appropriated by the mainstream and retargeted to girls. Even if you talk about K-12, the emphasis has shifted to girls to such a degree that girls are doing well across the board. Boys are doing less well, if not poorly, across the board. And for the most part, they're still over here ringing their hands trying to figure out why. And instead of actually looking at how the system treats men and boys, what they do is they actually blame men and boys. So, that's what you're hearing here. When she talks when they're talking about depression, when what in the men not having friends, well, you violated all the spaces where men could actually develop those things. But the Girl Scouts are still here. Right? Independent spaces for women and girls to bond and meet, they're still there. But whether you're talking about in schools, K through 12, universities, it doesn't matter. Wherever there was a male space, it became a a point of a goal, if anything, to disrupt those male spaces. And completely undermine them by infusing them uh with with girls, you know, with women. It It It It It became a mission almost in the last 30 to 30 to 40 years. And then they're wondering why men are having a difficulty forming bonds. You violated the spaces where they always could. You know, for the most part. Uh let me see here. Okay.

And now glasses camps have have a new challenge. The intoxicating pull of the man is feared. There it goes. There it goes. Now again, I always say this whenever these mainstream articles bring up men spaces, whether they're manosphere or not, they're going to be labeled as manosphere. But you'll notice they rarely quote from men outside of Andrew Tate and Myron Gaines and maybe Sneako. Every once in a while they'll mention Kevin, but you know, you got somewhere between one and four names that pop up for a space that has thousands of men, thousands of voices, and no quotes from anybody in these kinds of pieces. So, I find it highly dismissive in a way, but let's continue. Right? The intoxicating pool in the manosphere, the hyper online community led by men who tout misogynistic So, you can't go five words after the mention of the word manosphere without misogynistic being tied to it. So, this tells you what to think without you actually having to go into the manosphere and listen to what people have to say. And that's purposeful. Because they know the more people even women, the more people they send in there, the more people actually come out and say, "You know what? They make some good points." I mean, I can't tell you in the last 10 years how many mothers of sons or wives of husbands have reached out to me and said, "You know what? I expected this to be a lot of hate, a lot of dismissal, a lot of misogyny, but you know what? You guys are making some excellent points I never thought of before." And I've had conversations. I've had women ask to have 2-hour consultations with me about after a show they listened to, and I've never seen them again. This I've never talked to them again. This might have been 7, 8 years ago. This might have been a year ago. This happens a lot. And they want to ask me questions. And then, you know, I never hear from them. But one of the things they always say is, you know, they have a son, they have a husband, they have somebody they deeply care for, and they just don't understand something about them. And after listening to some of the things we talk about, they walk away saying, "Wow, I never looked at it that way." See, that's the fear these mainstream articles have with pointing people to the to specific content creators. And saying, "Go listen to him. This is This is a quote from something he said." You know what I mean? They don't want to do that. It's just going to get put gas to Tell you what it is, tell you to avoid it, leave it there. Right? So, a hyper online community led by men who tout misogynist definitions of manliness has given Glass a boisterous brigade of rivals. Vulnerability is out. After a few post-Me Too years in the wilderness, the alpha male is back with a vengeance. Right? Cuz we can't be vulnerable, which is [ __ ] cuz many men are vulnerable, and that doesn't mean weak, and it doesn't mean exploitable, and it doesn't mean they're mimicking women. Unless you're defining vulnerability strictly by how women define it, but men have their own definition definitions of it and it doesn't have anything to do with mimicking women. Anyway, if there's a counterweight to the manosphere, this is it. Glass says her camps provide disillusioned men a better way forward. She works directly to understand and reframe her her participants' understanding of masculinity, but it's a lonely fight. For every five men who enter her camp, tens of millions watch influencers like Andrew Tate. There it goes. There it goes. They they got they can't resist. They mentioned Adin Ross, who I'm not familiar with, and then Myron Gaines. There it goes. >> [laughter] >> They got to go there. Who preach the importance of making money, getting ripped, and mostly dominating their wives and girlfriends. Right. Glass's own past is littered with tragedy and heartbreak, but she says she knows the way out. She wants her process taught in every high school in America. She wants to pull boys away from her red-pilled rivals. Or at the very least, she says, "I would sure love to try."

Now, think about the mechanics of this. Think about the mechanics of it. You have a man that feels like women are going astray. And so, he wants to put a curriculum into every high school in the country that urges women to get back to traditionality, respect, you know what I mean, and appreciation for masculinity, whatever. And and and the right and and this man's rival, all these feminist camps, whether they're in the university or online or in the literature, but this is where men this man in question wants to come together wants to pull girls together and listen to what he has to say. How far would he get? All right. How far would he get? If he tries to challenge traditional feminism deeply embedded in many of the institutions that our boys and girls come up in. But she gets a CNN article about how she's the rival to the manosphere. It says uh CNN reporters Rob a Picheta and David Culver attended one of Glass's recent camps run by her coaching nonprofit Pivot to witness her experiment. Glass granted access as long as we underwent her Pivot process participating alongside three men at different stages of their lives. We signed up, traveled to Sonoma, and immersed ourselves among the group. There are pictures of them doing yoga in the morning. Okay. Uh yeah. The schedules were full. Days began with morning yoga and consisted of one-on-one therapy sessions, emotionally exhausting group exercises, and and experiential lessons like art therapy and role-playing. Glass's coaches Gabby Fabian, Deb Reed, and Marcus Weingard taught us in their method honed through the years from a wealth of psychological theory. Still, we entered skeptically. It's easy to roll your eyes at the California-ness of it all. The surroundings were luxurious. The camp cost more than $5,000 a head, and the self-help space is filled with unconventional approaches and unproven treatments. These men, you might assume, are too soft and too sensitive, more Pinot Noir than Cabernet. See, this is what's interesting to me. They're charging $5,000 a head to orient men differently and pull them away from spaces where men are actually congregating and dialoguing on their own experiences. So, they want to charge $5,000 a head, right? But the thing about it is they can actually young men especially, but men in general, can get on their phones, can get on their computers, and go straight to a conversation with other men. So, here it is. You pay $5,000 to go to California and have basically women tell you what it is to be men and what you should be doing, or you can get on for free and find thousands of hours of content from thousands of content creators that approach the whole idea of manhood on different frequencies, each one. So, you can find the kinds of content creators that speak to you in in a manner that that, you know, you can identify with. You know what I mean? You can choose. It it's it's almost like when you when you're looking for a radio station and you're turning the dial trying to find a clear frequency that works for you. Well, guess what? That's what the that's what's already happening. And there are plenty of of content creators and channels that don't consider themselves manosphere and others that do. So, you find what you know, you get in where you fit in. But but these, you know, mainstream folks want to tell you what's right for you, what's wrong for you. And what they seem to be prescribing, at least CNN for that matter, is a $5,000 workshop camp run by uh three women or conducted by one or run run by one woman, conducted by with two or three women and one man. And this is what's supposed to be uh anyway. But we found something far more complicated. Each of the three participants came here on the cusp of change or in the throes of grief. There's a 61-year-old man, a 52-year-old man, uh both of whom were dealing with deaths of a father and a wife, respectively, and a 42-year-old man nervously awaiting the departure of his child to college. Over the coming days, they will dig deep into their own past and reckon with long-hidden trauma. Their journeys will spiral into unexpected directions, and against all odds, they will find new hope. All right. It says he's a man's man, he's and he's falling apart. It's one of the subtitles. Uh so, one of the guys, Matt Sanders, he's holding back tears until suddenly he isn't. And this, he says, pointing out uh to a purple rag on the floor, is my dad. It's day four of man camp, and Sanders is about to have an epiphany. He's running the bases, an exercise devised by Glass that transports participants back to their childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. He'll speak to his father from each stage each of the stages of his life and he has a lot to say. Sanders is a is is a buff plaid shirted plaid shirted guy educated in locker rooms and raised on Bruce Spring Springsteen and the Western New York cold. He's ruggedly handsome and boastfully jacked. Picture a man's man Sanders is the guy who would beat him in a fight. Oh God. Let me see. He's falling apart grieving his dad. All right. This is what we're talking about. Now mind you, I'm on page two of 18. So, I'm not going to go through all of this. Really what I wanted to show you in this is the camp itself. That's really what I'm what I'm what I'm trying to show you here.

Now, in a way one could say that Kevin Samuels had a camp. It was free, regularly available, almost daily and for some at some periods of time. And women found themselves voluntarily making themselves present. Sometimes being confrontational um because they didn't agree with what was being said, but they voluntarily made their way there. Nothing about Kevin Samuels was required reading in graduate school. Nothing that you had to pay $5,000 for unless you wanted some kind of personal time with the man. But what I find interesting about it is it was readily available for everybody. But to get the kind of of training and consultation that they're advocating you have you're supposed to spend this kind of money and go to these isolated places for a middle well upper middle class white women to kind of direct you on how exactly you're supposed to find and address your manhood. And this is this is something I wanted to talk to you guys about because what I'm finding is that there are all kinds of ways that women have really been to prescribe to men what it means to be men. Now, this is not to suggest that uh you know, that some of the works can't be interesting or useful or any of that nature that that kind of stuff, but it is to suggest that it's usually presented as analysis. It's usually presented as benign. It's presented as this is something that will help you as a man. But, what they don't tell you is that it's prescriptive. Much of the time they're telling you what to do. Much of the time they're defining manhood in ways that suit women's interests and telling you that this is what it is. And one of the things they almost all have in common is they tell you to avoid other men's definitions of manhood and go with theirs.

Now, when I was coming out of grad school or in it, depending on when the book came out, there were a number of books like this uh on one level or another. They were often written by black feminists and they were written about black men. And some of them were better than others as with anything, but nobody explained to me that there were a spectrum of projects involved in this. That's the part I didn't know. There was a spectrum of these kind of books and they were written by black feminists and and I didn't know at that time who some of these people were. So, I'm reading these books because, you know, I'm young and when I see a book that says black man on it, I'm you know, I'll pick it up, go through it. I didn't realize that you had feminists who were doing like uh the woman who created the Snuff Camp, Loree Jean Glass, they were using the material to prescribe to men what they should be doing and how they should be defining manhood. Right? That's one of the things I found real interesting about it. You know. And I've never I've never really seen that anywhere else, but it seems to be something that folks are comfortable doing as it relates most particularly to uh black men in particular. That's really where we could go with that. It seems to be something that they're um real comfortable with doing. Right? So, these are just a few. Like, this is probably This is only about six books, but I just but I just wrote them off the head because these are the ones that I was most uh intrigued with. All right? So, let me see. So, you had Yeah, you had Athena Mutua's book, Progressive Black Masculinities. Bell Hooks' is We Real Cool. Uh Michelle Wallace, this is an older book that comes uh you know, out of the 1970s. Uh this was on my shelf my entire life. My mother had the book on our bookshelf, Black Macho and the Myth of the Superwoman. Then you got Traps: African American Men on Gender and Sexuality, edited by Beverly Guy-Sheftall and Rudolph Byrd. You had Anti-Feminist: African American Men Speak Out on Fatherhood, Friendship, Forgiveness, and Freedom by Aaron M. White. You had Race Men by Hazel V. Carby. You had books that were prescribing to men different ideas about masculinity and manhood as it suited their interests. And I found it real interesting because it was presented as if universally true in some fashion.

Now, what I want to do with this at this point is I want to shift in a particular way. Cuz inasmuch as you have women who are who've not only been become very comfortable telling men what manhood is and how they should act, you also have them How do we put this? Um not only defining it prescriptively, but ignoring that women also seem to need guidance. And so, I'm going to show you a variety of examples of women that seem to need guidance, but there there's no attention directed toward them. So, let's check this out. >> Oh, lord. I'm so [ __ ] pissed. Did y'all hear about the 12-year-old boy in Texas that had came home from school to an empty apartment? His mom, Erica Renee Sanders, S A N D E R S, and her boyfriend, Kevin Dewayne Adams, Kevin K E V E N. These [ __ ] done moved out the apartment and ain't said nothing to her 12-year-old son, y'all. This is so [ __ ] up on so many levels. Like, he got home, the apartment was empty. So, the little boy went next door to the neighbors. He brought the neighbors back over to his place so they could see that the apartment was empty. So, the police came and they talking to the little boy, and the little boy said, "Yeah, my mom and her boyfriend did mention that um they would be moving." He just thought that he was going with them. So, they get in touch with the mom and her boyfriend. They was like, "Oh, yeah, his uncle coming to get him." That's what the mom said. But, they wouldn't She wouldn't give the police the uncle number. Some kind of way they got the uncle number. They got a hold of the uncle. The uncle said this was his first time even hearing about this. He had no clue what his sister, Erica, was talking about. Then, they talked to the boyfriend, Kevin Adams. On the phone, this [ __ ] is literally telling the police, y'all, a long list of complaints that he have about a 12-year-old little boy. He's literally giving them a reason of, "Yeah, this why >> Okay, real quick. The question is, does it matter if the boyfriend or the girlfriend in the equation has an opinion? The only way it matters is if the legal parent allows it to matter. So, when it comes to these kind of cases, whether it's a father or or a mother, I'm looking at the legal the person who's legally responsible for the child. Now, if you've allowed this man's opinion about a 12-year-old to to determine, you know, your custody, determine the child's safety, I still blame the legal parent. And in this context, in this moment, in this situation, it's the mother. I don't care about the boyfriend's opinion. The boyfriend can have whatever opinion he wants to have. The question is, as the legal parent, what opinion is she valorizing? And and and is she allowing that to shape how she parents? Let's continue. >> We This is why we left. We can't be doing this taking care and do Yeah. This is what he's saying on the phone to the police. The neighbor even told the police when they talked to her, yeah, they have put him out before. She didn't understand it because the boy quiet, you know, well-mannered and everything or whatever, so she didn't even understand it. Anyway, DCS talked to the mom. The mom wouldn't give them an address. But they caught up with they asses. They caught up with them. They got arrested Friday. They still was in jail as of this morning. But it's just sad or whatever because for me, I just can't even relate to [ __ ] like this, like >> All right. So, even though that was quick, gives you a little view on what we're talking about. So, we got all kinds of things to say about how men should define manhood, what they should do, what they shouldn't do, who should speak, who should not speak, who's who should be listened to, who should not be listened to. Where are the prescriptions for women? And where is it allowed for men to counsel women on how to act like women. Right? Now, we've had a man we've had a manosphere for the last 10 to 15 years. We've had a series of women's spaces that never had a coherent name. And in the black community, we've definitely seen them at at least in in since the beginning of the 1980s. What mainstream platform is platforming men giving guidance on how women can actually be better women? Where is that happening at? But let's look at some other examples of women who might need counsel.

This is from the California Post. It reads, "Georgia teacher accused of sex with six students had OnlyFans account was recorded in Jesus loves you sweater by the cops." This is dated June 18th, 2026. That's her picture right there. I hate that where the title comes down. But you can see her. Right? I'm going to mix it up a little bit. This is mostly going to be black women, but I'll throw in some white women, you know, cuz I always get somebody says, "Well, that's only white women doing that." No, it really isn't. I've shown you a hundred cases of of black women violating, you know, boys sexually and otherwise. So, just yeah, stop it. It's not happening. But in this one, "A Georgia science teacher accused of molesting six teenagers had an OnlyFans account, and students who knew about it allegedly blackmailed her for better grades." The bombshell development was detailed in search warrants as investigators probed 25-year-old Marie Nichols, a former science teacher at Alexander High School. Douglas County Sheriff's Office has served her over a dozen warrants in the case. Uh I think I read this one before, but just showing it to you again because I think it it's fits. Right? Nicole uh Nichols, excuse me, was allegedly being blackmailed by students over her reported OnlyFans account, according to the documents obtained by the outlet. Other lurid details were also revealed in the warrants. Nichols was allegedly recorded in a video having sex with a student while wearing a Jesus loves you sweater. Investigators are seeking surveillance footage from a golf course where Nichols met up with a teen as well as genetic material and fingerprints of two students in particular. Nichols was initially arrested after she was accused of having sexual contact with a student in a classroom, closet, and a parked Hummer. Two weeks later, she was re-arrested and faced 11 additional charges including child molestation, evidence tampering, and grooming involving five of the students.

Now, this is what first came to mind when I read this article. First thing that came to mind is how are basically children going to blackmail you into sex? See, I think about it this way. You have 40-year-old male teacher and six or seven female students blackmail him into sex. What part of that would would be accepted? What part of that would would get him empathy from the mainstream public upon reading that article? See, the difference is when you're considered an adult and you're treated as such, there is no equation. There is no way that children are going to blackmail you into sex. You're going to be held accountable, period. And you can say you were blackmailed, but the reality is you engaged in a sexual act with a minor. For a man, that would be the end of the discussion. They would throw you into a cell. For a woman, they are really trying to milk this idea that she was blackmailed against her will. And they're subtly suggesting that's the only reason she had sex with them. Y'all tell me if that works. Right? Uh allegations include that she engaged in sexual activity in a Hummer and a golf course, sent raunchy images to students, and engaged in sexting with teen with teens. Is that all a product of blackmail? Investigators reported that Nichols pressured a student to delete their communications shortly before her first arrest. Nichols was a graduate of Liberty University, a private evangelical Christian institution that maintained a strict policy prohibiting sexual activity outside of marriage. Huh. So, we got any other men in here ready to counsel her and and show her how it goes? You know, whether it's men or women doing the counseling, it doesn't matter because the way the mainstream public sees it, women don't need counsel. Women don't need advisement on womanhood. Women don't need you know, direction on not only defining womanhood, but doing so in a way that that complements men's interests. See, there's no conversation about that. Not outside of what women choose to have with themselves, but they're not being directed by men. As a matter of fact, they they pride themselves on not listening to men at all. Right?

Here's another. You can find this on wsfa 12 or wsfa.com. Mother accused of stomping and beating her 2-year-old daughter to death. Uh, there's a picture of her right there. This is 29-year-old Jessica Wilson charged with aggravated child abuse and child abuse on Friday. She's now charged with a second-degree murder. Right? Is there is there is there a conversation about what kinds of direction women as a whole need because the acts of women who are doing this? I mean, this is about as arbitrary as as pointing at the manosphere and suggesting that anybody that listens to it is a problem. Why don't we actually look at women who are a problem? And ask the question, what think tank articles are y'all writing about giving direction to women? This is Gainesville, Florida. A mother in Florida is accused of beating her 2-year-old daughter to death on Thursday. Alachua County, forgive me if I butchered that. Deputies responded to a medical emergency believing a 2-year-old girl to be unresponsive. Deputies learned that 29-year-old Jessica Wilson had beaten and stomped her daughter until the child began seizing. Over the past 3 days, medical staff worked to save the girl's life. When the toddler was first brought to the hospital, medical staff noted skull fractures and bruises. Jesus Christ. To the head, chest, and back. However, the 2-year-old died of her injuries. A witness told deputies Wilson and her daughter had been staying at the witness's house for about 2 weeks. Thursday night Wilson woke the friend up and handed her the unresponsive toddler and the witness began CPR. Wilson allegedly told her friend that she beat the child. During an interview with detectives, Wilson reportedly claimed the toddler wasn't listening. She allegedly admitted to beating the victim with a belt, punching the child, and stomping on the the toddler's back. Wilson told deputies she knew she went too far. Wilson is now charged with second-degree murder. She remains in the Alachua County jail without bond. Now, most of the people I know that have that you know, give spankings like this were spanked themselves. And if they if it it you know, if they're going overboard the way they have, it wouldn't be surprised me. It wouldn't be a surprise to me if someone had gone overboard on her. But that's no excuse. That's just simply the context, right? That means that you you because of what you experienced, you might be you might need to be on guard doubly so to make sure you don't pass that on. Right? So, just to clarify.

But let's look at one more. And this one's a little different. This one comes from a show I did a little while ago. How far ago is this? This was 4 months ago. This is the show BJS and I did together and we were talking about a group discussion online amongst black men. Uh also starring actor Clifton Powell who's in the group discussion. All right? And they were having all kinds of conversations about manhood and black manhood and what it means to be men and so on and so forth. Well, the thing I want to share with you about this is just a couple minutes of BJS and I talking about how this particular group came together. >> This this on women of color and the Conscious Lee is the channel. >> Yeah. Yeah, and that's the organization. I think Bill Power is the organization. It's a feminist organization. So. >> Okay. >> [clears throat] >> I haven't heard of this before, but All right. I was trying to work work my way back cuz I think that image is interesting. >> So great and what makes me maybe understand >> Now, that's that's >> Yes, sir. Yes, sir. That's her in the middle. >> That's interesting. Interesting. >> Doesn't she look like the matriarch sitting around here with her cocky serves? >> Very much that. The [laughter] women child of the big discussions and education. >> They said you're in the Urban Dictionary now, doc. >> I'm an urban What is that? >> You're in the Urban Dictionary with with slang. >> Oh, wow. >> Cocky serve is in the Urban Dictionary. >> Oh, okay. >> You made it. >> [laughter] >> It's better than than some other words I've used at different points. Glad to hear that. But now, this is a trip, man. Look at this. It's it's it's almost, you know, you know, mama done patted a few people on the head. >> Yeah, doesn't it look like that? I'm just saying I'm just saying. >> Yeah, this is And And the thing about it is you wouldn't have this red pill movement if so many brothers haven't been in this position at some point. We were all told that this was the proper way to be a black man. >> Mhm. >> That these opinions, these perspectives, especially if you went to college, right? You These were the ideas you were supposed to have if you were considered intelligent, if you were considered relevant, on the right side of history, all of that. This is how you were supposed to perceive things. You had to defer to black women. You had to defer to feminist arguments. And that in and of itself made you noble, made you progressive, you know, and all of that. So, we're seeing it. >> Mhm. >> All right. Let me see here. >> [music] >> All right. So, you're watching a real unscripted and unfiltered combo. Space is created intentionally for black men to move through their thoughts in real time without performance, without polish. There's a lot of performance. Um, our brothers need room to work through the hard stuff. Now, this is interesting. Our brothers need room to work through the hard stuff. It sounds like a black woman talking to other black women >> Mhm. >> about what black men need to do. >> Mhm. >> Hard for them is us accepting that everything black feminists have been arguing is true and if we don't believe it, it's only because we are too hard-headed, too immature, too incapable to really take in the full argument. So, we need these spaces where we just, you know, we we have enough black men force us to swallow it. Um and that that's what what's necessary. So, it's a very kind of condescending frame, I believe, that this is even starting in. >> Mhm. >> And they're calling it uh honest engagement, essential for growth, solidarity, and justice. Now, notice who gets to define what is growth, >> Mhm. >> what is solidarity, and what is justice. Um yeah, I find that interesting. Okay, so that's all I wanted to show on that. I mean, basically, what you have is, you know, another space where men get together, but it seems to be women that are determining the scope and the frame of the conversation, right? And And this is what I mean when I say it becomes prescriptive. Women are using these spaces to tell men what they need to be, who they need to be, what they need to become, and and what their their priorities should be, right? But there's no space can give women direction and it be received as a positive. So, when men do it, it's considered oppressive. It's considered domineering. It's considered all kinds of problematic and damn near And you'll find plenty of women that will use this language abusive. For men to give women direction, not only on personal conduct, but on womanhood as a whole. But here But here you have the mainstream and even the black mainstream finding new ways to give men direction, right? And I find it problematic. But as usual, I want to hear your opinions about the matter. Highlight me in the comment section and let me know what you think about this practice of women determining for men in this one-way fashion, where it's presented as analysis, but it's really prescription about what they need to be and what they need to be usually complements um you know, what serves their interests. Right? And so instead, what you have is black men no longer listening to this and really turning to each other to define their own manhood. And their own futures and where they choose to be and how they choose to exist independent of the prescriptions given to them by feminists who are supported and subsidized by mainstream interests. Holler at me. Let me know. Peace.