Transcription
able. I don't know if this person had the surgeries, but I've interviewed people that have had them and holy crap, they can't even pee, right? They have to use a catheter to pee.
What's up, guys? Welcome to my reaction series. So, today we are reacting to Elliot Paige, uh, who is formerly, this is like a trans person, so it used to be Ellen Paige, and it was this like baddy woman, and now she's become like a ugly male. Um, I don't know why on earth he would do that. But Elliot Paige is now asking about masculinity. So, let's see what this um he she's got to say.
In something and um I'm getting, you know, to continue to grow and and and build this relationship with someone that I'm really love who's so sweet and caring and incredibly funny and talented and uh and gorge.
>> She's so hot and cool.
>> She's so hot and cool.
>> You know her?
>> Yeah. Our little
>> Julia Shiplet. And it's cool how Julia's just got her thing going, you know, like it's
>> so great that you guys have just each doing your own thing.
>> Yeah.
>> I've been asking people about masculinity and femininity. We are seeing so much and I mean I mean our entire lives we've seen so much uh unhealthy masculinity, so much sickness in this world specifically through through the lens of men and in your gender journey which to me as someone who knows you but also as someone consuming you as a public figure to me you appear healthy and continually finding more health and security. What does um what does it mean to you to hear me say healthy masculinity?
Healthy masculinity to me is or even just something I've felt as trans like transitioning is like leaning away from
>> you know what's unfortunate is because being a trans person you still have the genetics of women which are defective right? Like we are emotional um like at least a he she like a he that becomes a she gets like the logic the problem solving and the reason but none of the like emotions of being a woman but a woman gets like the negative mental of being a woman because men have like better mental um I don't know if I'm making sense but yeah and now like it's like a double homicide now whenever there is some sort of impulse or expectation you've put on yourself to like shut down or or conform in a way that usually feels like this like I am closing off.
I remember kind of being like, "Oh, Elliot, maybe you should, you know, talk with your hands a little less." Or,
>> uh, you know, maybe in pictures you're because all ever since transitioning now, I'm like, Johnny, I am smiling. I am smiling in those photos.
>> That is a cope. This does not look like a happy person.
>> Used to be so
>> I'm always smiling. Okay. I'm a smiler. Like, but ever since I was a kid, this is my picture. I'd be like, you know, uh, you you sir.
>> I barely look at a photo of myself. I was always like, you know, and now
>> and I'll be taking you and say a dude's like, "Hey, are you are you Victor from Umbrella Academy?" You know, and we're doing a photo together. He's very
>> Yeah.
>> And like having that moment where I'm like, "Oh, should I also not like should I also be close?"
>> It's just like, "What the [ __ ] Elliot? What are you What are you talking about?" Like, "Oh, honey, you're the part of the problem."
>> M m.
>> So I think it's
>> to me healthy masculinity would be well you know what a healthiness for anyone to just you know love themselves be able to care for themselves ideally get rest when
>> masculinity is having a plan a plan of action that's masculine loving yourself as a woman because uh women don't do anything other than you know try to love our flaws which is so many right? So
>> can you Like just the practical basic, drink water, like eat a banana, you know,
>> like
>> and also just,
>> you know, doing what you can to be in intentionally and mindfully not letting yourself get like swayed or twisted by um the the the rules that I I feel like end up like leading to
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Now,
>> so many of the the problems that we see that are, you know, do get inflicted by toxic masculinity, um, violence and, um, abuse, um, just general cruelty,
>> and, uh, yeah, I think it's just like a healthy masculinity could just mean a really good cry.
>> A really good cry. Oh, let me know how that goes. You know what I mean? That's the thing. Women like to cry. Men like to figure out a plan.
>> I just want to make sure I'm always like leaning away from that pull to to shut off emotionally.
>> I'm hearing like an openness.
>> Yeah.
>> Practicing opening.
>> Yeah.
>> Cuz it's so true. like a closed off that and like
>> see there like when they say that about men like men are closed off you're trying to teach men to emote like women. Um so you're teaching men to communicate emotions like women do and women don't communicate like us or men don't communicate like women. So they're effectively communicating that uh being masculine is wrong.
>> And the closed off could lead to just impatience. It could lead to whatever it is. I'm trying so much to just be like when that happens it's like Elliot shoulders back take a few breaths. It really makes a difference.
>> But when we are organized through this such a strict rigid system, the pressure to conform, we don't realize how that pressure to conform is suppressing our health, restricting our nervous system. This is kind of what I was like thinking about about being in love and the the relaxation and my my journey with gender sec and sexuality has like opened up so much since becoming a parent. The physical experience of of making a person and then getting that person out of my body like that has been a huge touchstone for me for opening up my own pressure to conform. Like it was in my pregnancy that I
>> realized I identify as non-binary as a non-binary woman
>> in pregnancy.
>> And that was when my sex like opened up and actually I was able to finally take in
>> the relax and the surrendering to my partner that I I didn't realize I didn't even know how tightly I was holding on to it. But it is that pressure to conform that restricts us that we don't even know we're being held so tightly by and it's it's painful for everybody. It's it's so it's so um it's cruel you saying cruelty as related to the patriarchy. It's unfortunate.
>> It's so incredible that these women are paid to act, talk, and do really relatively easy jobs for a living. Uh hypocritical. I know. I have an easy job. I have an easy job. I have one. It has its challenges, but it's not the same as like the coal mine or whatever [ __ ] So, um, sorry, not [ __ ] but you know what I mean? Like that all that stuff is way harder. Hierarchy of hard jobs. I'm at the bottom. So, anyways, my my point really with this is um, it's just incredible how women can be paid to talk into a microphone and still complain. Women can be paid to talk into a microphone and then complain about oppression with the microphone that men sacrifice their bodies to build.
>> So
>> true. You know, the trans experience of finding your comfort in your body is particularly visible and yours as a person who's been famous for so long is particularly pronounced. But this is actually uh emblematic of how everybody feels in this society. Wrong in their bodies. I the as women being told we're too fat, we're too thin, not curvy enough, too curvy. Men, sis men are taking tea.
>> No. Oh, you've got to be. I mean, you're chopped. The reason you're told you're too fat, too thin, is because you're chopped. If you looked like um a beautiful woman, then you get compliments. Um ugly men don't get complimented either.
>> Men take tea and then are uh loudly transphobic, you know, podcasters, whatever. And we're missing this we're missing this opportunity for the trans experience to be this this like just uh particularly pronounced and accessible example of finding your true self. One thing I feel really fortunate about about like what does your true self mean? You know,
>> that's because women are fake. You know, I bet women say my true self because women are so used to being fake all the time that we don't even know what our true self is. You know what I mean? Because we're just so fake. So,
>> getting nominated for an Oscar when I was 20 or whatever. and having that happen when I was so young and in that period feeling the worst
>> like absolutely just
>> not okay and those and those years following and to learn
>> can you imagine getting an Oscar and still complaining
>> ninja please
>> learn that lesson so young like to go like I actually don't care that's not what I care about and something's not okay here. And like to be in a place now where I can like reflect on that and that just sort of where my priorities are, where they are creatively, like there's just I feel so lucky to have learned that young
>> that you could have this thing that everyone's saying is the dream come true and people's obsession with fame and all you know or what success means or and don't get me
>> and stop doing it. Do you know what I mean? This is this is the problem with people never having had a real job is that they don't know they don't know what it's like to spend five years at a job you hate that builds character me wrong of course it comes with act you know it helps your career of course but I just mean like it gave me such a I think profoundly important lesson so young and in some ways I feel like that relates to like, you know, conformity or, you know, how people think they should, you know, approach life or or they get lost in an idea of what success means to them or what have you. And and like in terms of my transness, I feel so lucky because I feel like I've gone from a place where I could barely function. I was so uncomfortable to now kind of no matter what's going on like my feet are on the ground.
>> And
>> do you know what? After those surgeries, I don't know how anybody could be comfortable. I don't know if this person had the surgeries, but I've interviewed people that have had them and holy crap, they can't even pee, right? They have to use a catheter to pee.
>> I had to do all that digging and I had to like
>> This is the problem. When women look too far into ourselves, ourselves are evil. So, we got to look outward because inward it's just going to be demons. So, you really got to look outward because if if you look inside too long, you're just going to go crazy. And this is the antithesis, right? She's saying, "I looked inward." Well, if you look inward, you're just going to get evil, you know? Scrape through all those layers and not worry about what people were going to say or think and all that. And gosh, when you do get like feel like liberated from that and that shame that you've been carrying, like that is what I would wish for everybody.
>> For everybody and I do think that's what trans and gender non-conforming people can can offer. And I and of course they people in power what have you these like you know white supremacist patriarchal structures don't want people to feel liberated
>> y
>> and feel
>> how much more liberated can you be again talking on a podcast women always have the audacity that's why I know the same man this is a woman because she has the audacity to complain while talking
>> that sense of power and feel that sense of possibility um yeah nor do they want to lose a societal structure that you know keeps so many people oppressed and resources extracted and
>> men are really the oppressed ones
>> that it leads to
>> men are really the oppressed ones because men are enslaved to women like they have to take they through taxes they take men's money and give it to women
>> that is so brilliant okay my last question is you were you started working at a young age you had talent plus drive plus the skill set to apply that talent and keep yourself as safe as you possibly could and make it through to this healthy state where you are more and more and more yourself as such a driven person who's also had the sometimes it can be unfortunate the confirmation of success. How do you pause and step away and find rest?
>> Well, this now
>> that's incredible. They're asking a podcaster how you found rest. It's like every day is rest ninja, dude.
>> Um I feel like I'm so much better at but I think that's just cuz I'm comfort like I can actually physically rest, you know? I think just being
>> sitting with yourself.
>> Yeah. Just being more comfortable in my body. So for me now it's
>> I don't know. It's pretty simple. I'm really just I love walking my dog.
>> Hell yeah. getting to check in, see friends, spend time with my wonderful girlfriend. I love to read.
>> Yeah, you strike me as a reader.
>> I really love to read.
>> Bragging page brager author and reader.
>> Um it really it just really calms me.
>> It's just like that is actually what
>> in the evening and just a couple hours of that like that is just for me so calming and weirdly where I can focus.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> Whereas lately I'm noticing like wa watching stuff weirdly I I end up looking at my you know it's just
>> but yeah the the book keeps me there. So it really I think is just about um
>> it's just incredible because this he she or whatever this is what she was cute before a cute young woman. Bro, why would you give all that up?
>> To enjoy feeling comfortable.
>> Oh my gosh. Okay. Well, this is what happens when people need to be victims for a living. Let me know what you guys think in the comments. I really enjoyed this podcast. So, if you want me to react to more feminist slot, put it in the comments. Like the video. I'll see you next time.