Transcription
Hello, gorgeous ladies. I have truly become the woman my younger self dreamed of. But not only that, I have outdone every single one of her desires. And I have lived through an experience that literally proves I should have dreamed so much bigger because I did everything I wanted to do and then some. And I believe every single woman should be able to have that experience. So, in this video, I'm going to be breaking down all of the lessons I've learned along the way so that you can become the woman of your dreams, too.
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The first and most crucial step of all of this was getting to know myself before I mourned myself. There's so much talk online about creating your ideal self, which don't get me wrong is so important, but nobody talks about how important it is to sacrifice and kill off the old parts of yourself. The two literally go hand in hand. No one warns you that the process of becoming your best self starts with a funeral. You have to grieve the version of you that played small, that survived in fear, that lived in their comfort zone. And so much of my growth was firstly based on admitting all of that to myself, understanding what insecurities I was still holding on to, the validation that I was still naively looking for. And the girl that was always overthinking and trying to please literally everybody but herself.
And another thing to note here is there's no point in criticizing that version of yourself. Once you start digging deeper, you understand your old patterns. This is not an opportunity to feel badly about yourself or to talk down on yourself because that version of you wasn't wrong. She was just living with the information that she had at the time and she deserves your grace, compassion, and self- loveve for that. While she's not wrong, she is done and she doesn't serve this current era of your life. So, there's no point bringing her along with you.
The logic behind this is really simple. You can't carry an outdated identity into your new reality. It simply doesn't work. You can't want a higher frequency, but keep resonating with all of your old selft talk and habits. And honestly, it's really hard because you have to stop walking into rooms and connecting with the old version of yourself. Stop introducing yourself as who you've always been and start introducing yourself as who you're about to become. Yes, it might be delusional. Yes, it might not be right yet cuz you don't necessarily have the results to prove it. But that is exactly how you quantum leap and you collapse time. By pretending you are who you're meant to be before you have the proof to see that you're already her because you were always inevitably meant to be her.
While it might sound crazy, there's so much evidence of this being true. Before you can be an influencer with a million followers, you have to post and be consistent like you're already one. You have to talk to an audience that you don't already have, and then the results come. But on a more personal level, I had to stop connecting to the 15-year-old version of myself. That was like the peak of who I had been majority of my life. I was super shy. I was super quiet. I didn't think very highly of myself. I always shrunk myself and wanted to hide. So, even though that was the truth of my past and my identity so far in my life, as I entered my 20ies, I had to stop walking into rooms and events alone and thinking, "But I've never been confident and I can't public speak." No. Because every single time you repeat that experience, you are simply rewiring your brain to continue believing that about yourself. How is your brain supposed to change and support your new life and self if you keep telling it the same old story?
When you are growing and changing, yes, you do need to learn so many things, but truthfully, the hardest part isn't learning the new things. It's unlearning everything you've grown to be so accustomed to in your life. That's what becoming the woman of your dreams is actually all about. It's about detaching from your old story. Detaching from what society and your friends and your peers and people throughout your life have told you what you are, and instead creating the definition of who you want to be and running with that instead. Once you detach from who you used to be, your new story can finally begin.
And this links into my next point, which is I don't allow who I have been to determine who I can be. I used to feel so trapped in the version of myself I always had been, who had struggled to make friends and was never that confident and was never that girl that that fact made me nervous turning up to events and going to rooms and and introducing myself to people because I was still listening to that old story and who I had been. It made me play it safe. It reduced the amount of people I was talking to and the types of people I was talking to. I was totally staying in my comfort zone. And so the only way to step out of that was to create my alter ego. I imagined what the most confident version of myself would look like. And that itself allowed me to adopt extroverted traits before I necessarily felt ready or deserving or worthy to have them. It allowed me to successfully step into that character and do everything I needed to do to forget my old story and build up enough evidence that I could be confident and I could talk to people for me to be able to forget that old identity.
My next piece of advice is so important and this is that you need to focus on the steps, not the goal. Something that a lot of people tend to forget. For example, let's say your goal is to find your dream healthy relationship and soulmate. Okay, great. Every single girl talks about wanting that. The reason they don't get it is because they haven't changed their mindsets and therefore their realities to be able to obtain it. And that was exactly me. I was just expecting to find the true love that I'd always wanted, thinking it was going to fall into my lap. And I didn't find it until I detached from it and instead shifted all of that focus to working on myself instead. Not working on myself to find a man. Not working on myself to fall in love. Working on myself for myself. I completely fell in love with my journey on self- loveve and I read books about healthy relationships and love also for the benefit of me so that I would stop falling into toxic relationships and stop being attracted to the people that were wrong for me. I had to change my mindset about men being trash cuz let me tell you walking around saying that men are terrible isn't going to get you the man that you want to find. I took the time to set my dating standards, but I also took myself on dates so that I was confident enough to have my own independence outside of a romantic relationship. I manifested and I went into detail on the ideals of not only my dream life, but also the ideal date in my dream healthy romantic relationship. I worked on my love languages, how I give love, how I reciprocate, how I set boundaries and communicate in a relationship because communication was something I was really bad at. I filled my own cup and focused on all the other relationships in my life like family and friendships. Through all of that, I became the type of person that could be a soulmate to somebody else in a healthy relationship. Not only do you need to find somebody who can give you a healthy relationship, you need to become the type of person that can exist and build and grow in a healthy relationship yourself. Identify your toxic traits. Identify the patterns of all of your ex relationships and where you went wrong or why you kept going back to somebody or why you attracted those relationships in the first place.
This links into my next point, which is that the dream girl is simply a book or a video away. For example, my vision board had investing on it. Being wealthy has always been a huge goal for me, and what links into that is being financially savvy and being financially literate. That's one of the steps like what we spoke about earlier. But I knew nothing. It's not taught in schools. My family didn't tell me about it. I had no friends I could ask about building wealth and investing in the stock market. So I read two books. One was Rich Dad Poor Dad and the other one was Girls That Invest. I watched a couple of YouTube videos on different types of investing, how to invest in the stock market, learning about what ETFs were, pensions, how to save and grow your money. I think I listened to just a couple of podcasts too and I jumped right into it. I started investing and also learned as I went along the way. Simply 2 years later today, I have a growing portfolio. I understand investing. I have since obviously read more, watched more videos as well. But it has gotten me to the type of woman I could have never even dreamed of being because the knowledge gap was so wide. But I simply just searched up all the tools and resources that are readily and freely available to literally everyone. And that got me to this position 2 years later. If I had just carried on with the same old excuse that most people do, which is, "But I don't know this and my family doesn't know this and my friends don't and oh my god, it was never taught in school, so how am I supposed to know?" I would not have any financial independence. I would not be smart with my money and I would not have the things that I want. I am now in a great financial position simply because I didn't let the fear of the unknown and the unfamiliar stop me. I just self-taught. YouTube, university, self-help books. Getting a financial adviser is also a great idea.
Also, I never stop learning. Just like I said, even though I started that journey about two years ago, I'm still looking into more detailed, more complicated, elevated information on that same topic because if that's how I got to where I am now, the only way I can get to the next level is to keep on continuing that path. For example, I have consumed media and articles on how to be a better conversationalist. Even though adopting extroverted traits and creating my alter ego helped me action it, I still want to keep learning and improving and being the best I can possibly be. I read and learn things on how I can better protect my energy. I've really been getting into my spiritual woowoo stuff. And honestly, it's changing my life for the better. And you know what? 2 years ago, me never would have thought I'd like get into stuff like this or even figure out like such a high importance of it and really prioritize it. But I love that I'm doing something right now that I didn't plan for and that I didn't necessarily want a few years ago because it just shows how much I'm growing and changing that I'm setting new goals that don't even link to the old version of me. I want to be better at being a leader at better at managing a team in my business. And honestly, that is the hardest part of becoming the woman of your dreams. You are never quite truly finished. But in my opinion, that is the most fun part because that is exactly where you grow to become someone you could have never imagined yourself being.
My next point is that every single area of your life should feel dreamlike. Every single area of your life should be intentional. It should align with the woman you want to be, the life that you want to live. And when you treat every area intentionally and you are creating this magic in it and romanticizing in it, then it becomes a routine. It becomes consistent. Then every single day you wake up and you're simply doing your morning routine. It's this easy flow that is constantly contributing to your new dream identity. And then becoming the dream woman is simply a matter of how you do things. So it's not so much a matter of trying so hard to fake it anymore.
My morning routine is a really good example of this. This is like the first two hours of the day I really block out and I really think about the dream version of myself and I live as intentionally and closest as possible to her in the morning because obviously for the rest of the day I do try but you know some things happen or you're working or you get distracted and you can't necessarily keep it up for a whole day. But in the morning I'm wearing my gorgeous like robe and my special pajamas and I'm lighting my luxury candles and I have a slow morning because I know the woman I want to become, she doesn't live in chaos. She doesn't live in constant rush. She's not stressing about the next step. She's not rushing out the door at the last possible second because she wakes up out of bed too late. That is the life that I lived thus far. Now, completely different change of pace which then just impacts my energy and my vibration much more positively. I don't listen to like negative, low frequency music in the morning. I listen to really high vibe, elegant classical music. I meditate in the morning and I journal in the morning because the woman I want to become, she takes time to take care of herself, to do her self-care, to take that time to spend quality time with herself and to understand what's going on in her mind, to write down her goals and track her progress. She works out and prioritizes her health and her fitness. And then throughout the day, for example, she keeps everything on a to-do list and a schedule. She time blocks her day. She takes care of her diet and has a meal plan at home so that she's actually honoring her health and her promises to herself by eating the foods she knows she's supposed to eat. She plans her weeks ahead to make sure that she's factoring in social time with her friends and trying out new things and exploring the city. That is exactly what I want my dream moment to look like. Yours might be completely different, and that's okay. By no means should you copy mine or feel like yours has to look like what I've described. Please honor your authentic self. Just think about that for a while. Map it out. Write it out. what is her dream date in her life? And then start factoring in those little components in your day. For example, if she is a shopaholic and she loves to build out her wardrobe, but you don't necessarily have the means to do that right now, go window shopping. Spend a day browsing, imagining what it's going to be like when you do buy those things soon.
Also, manifesting is a 24/7 thing. Aside from your dedicated activities and routines like making a vision board once a year and looking at it every day to visualize or for example how I meditate and journal in the mornings to manifest, manifestation is an ongoing form of mind mastery. It is the difference between an abundance and scarcity mindset. It's exactly the way that you respond to things when they go wrong. It's the way you talk to yourself. It's the self-perception you have and the beliefs about what you're capable to do today. It's the way you self soothe your daily stresses. It's the way you think about how your day ahead will go every single morning or how the year and your life will pan out. It's your perspective of yourself, of the world, of the people around you. All of those thoughts amplify. They come back to yourself. They reflect what you think you're deserving of. They reflect what you're going to continue to receive and repel in your life. Basically, the more positive and high frequency your daily thoughts are, the better the results you will manifest for yourself in your day-to-day life.
I also just want to go back and touch on investing because that has also been a really key part in becoming the woman of my dreams and living the life that I live. I've spoken about investing your money and I also have a dedicated video on that that you can watch right here. So, I won't repeat any of that. But not only am I now emphasizing the importance of investing your money, but also investing in your business because there are so many material things that I have denied myself in this journey and things that I have limited myself to to be able to keep pouring more money back into my content and my team and growing that because that is the main priority. And don't get me wrong, it was hard especially at the beginning, but it has been the best decision ever. I would rather spend more in hiring someone that can do something better than me in one of my businesses rather than buying a new bag or a new shoe. If I can do both, great. But I know so many people who, you know, are content creators or have a busy business and they still do every single part of it all by themselves. And that was me for the first few years of, you know, being a YouTuber and doing all of the things I I do. And I thought it was such an honorable, smart thing to do. But really, I was just playing it small and safe because I was scared of letting people in. and I was scared of relying on people. And that was a thought and a mindset that I had to overcome. You've got to let people in. You've got to acknowledge that some people have specialized in skills that you haven't had the time to specialize in. So, you got to bring them in so they can do those parts of your business better than you can. And you got to learn how to trust other people and work with other people and manage other people. You've got to learn how to relinquish control.
And also, if you don't have a business and you have no desire to have a business, that's perfectly fine. But I think this still applies to you in your day-to-day life. There's nothing honorable about having the weight of the world and all of your responsibilities and all of the people in your life falling on your shoulders. That's not very self-loving or self-caring to do. And the sooner that you can understand actually it's loving to myself and the and the other people in my life to communicate to them when I'm struggling and when I need their help, that is when your life is just going to get so much easier and also when your relationships are going to flourish. Remember, a great team will always get you further than you can get just being all by yourself. And this is coming from a former lone wolf who was extremely comfortable just working by herself in her flat all day long.
And lastly, I throw myself into it. I can't tell you how many events I have attended or spoken at or led that I felt so incredibly nervous and not ready for, or photooots and recordings where my skin was bad and I didn't feel like I looked my best. opportunities that came to me so soon and so fast before I felt like I could match them or become ready for them or I had the time to prepare for them. But none of that imposter syndrome and none of those nerves ever stopped me because I knew the power of just jumping in and doing it anyway and understanding that the lessons I'm going to learn from the experience itself and the mindset shifts I'm going to get from that and the self-rowth is more powerful than any amount of preparation could ever give me. Because as long as you try your best, the result isn't on you. Never trying out of fear is a regret. You were never going to be able to move past because that is 100% on you. Because what if you won? What if it ended up better than you could have ever imagined and it was all your fault you didn't try because you had too many excuses? Because you felt too comfortable because you didn't have the level of self-love to just encourage yourself to be uncomfortable for a day, an hour, a minute. And you know what? Forget the results of whatever the experience is because yes, it could very well go bad. Focus on the experience and the lessons you're going to get from it because they are invaluable. Say yes more often. Every uncomfortable yes collapses time and connects you further and closes that gap between who you are right now and the dream woman you've always wanted to be. Plus, all of that fear, it fades after you take the action anyway. And then the next time you do something that's remotely similar, you don't feel nervous or scared anymore. So, you're literally preparing yourself for the rest of your life just through one scary day or one scary hour. Plus, every single time you say yes while you're scared and act while you're scared, you are teaching your brain that safety can exist throughout that risk and that fear and that you can keep going.
And those were my most important lessons in becoming the woman of your dreams. Everything I've learned along the way, every single thing that I continue to do most days on this journey as I continue to level up and upgrade my life and keep seeing what risks I can take and how uncomfortable I can be and who I can step into next. I'm so so excited to be on this journey. I'm so excited that you girls are all on this journey because you're subscribed and you watch the videos and you take notes. I see it all. All the stories you guys tag me in. I love to see it. I'm so proud of you. Comment down below. Let me know what was your favorite tip. What are you going to be taking into consideration and practicing? I would love to know and reply to you all. And I will see you next time for a brand new video. I appreciate you and I am so so proud of you. Keep going. Bye.