Transcription
Friends with benefits, talk to me. Okay. Does it work? Can it work?
Today, my 10-year-old son and I went to Sandbox at Westfield in London. I am off to see psychic Sally this evening. I have a date this afternoon. I'm going on a date. I think I've been ghosted. Dating in 2026, officially the weirdest thing ever. Okay. It's options. It's people having options.
There was a time you'd go out, you meet someone in the bar. Yeah. You go out every couple of weeks with your girlfriends. You meet someone, they're good-looking, they tick the boxes, you swap numbers, you're invested, okay? Because you're not going out for another two weeks. You're not going to meet anyone in the next two weeks.
>> Ma'am, back in the day, women your age didn't go to bars. Women your age didn't have to date them.
>> But now on the apps, you're swiping constantly. Yeah. So you might get five matches at once. So you have five people approaching you at once. You talking to all of them. You're interested in maybe one or two of them more than the others, but the others also have options and they're not as interested in you as you are in. But then their favorite option finds somebody else. So they take you out on a date. You get on really well. Okay. You enjoy their company, you want to see them again, but then one of their other options messages them from two months ago, right? And they really liked them. So, they're they're going to hang out with them again, but they're going to put you in archive or something because you're an option and they might need you in a week's time. At that point, you've either given up or you're talking to someone else and that's it.
And then sometimes you get into these situationships. Oh my god. Yeah, situationships are really, really fun. Um, they're the ones that you usually waste, I don't know, one to three months on. Yeah. And the whole time they're just dating another option at the same time as you.
So, basically, if you're in a relationship and it's kind of working and you're thinking the grass is greener, it's not.
>> Yes, ma'am. You're correct. So, why did you leave the father of your child? And ma'am, if you're talking to a lot of guys that just want situationships, that have a lot of options, it's because those guys are out of your league. Ma'am, you're a single mother. You should be looking for single fathers, not single men.
>> Sometimes I'm just so not in the mood to work out. And then I remember that my ex's new girl has fake tits. And suddenly we're about to go for a long long fast run.
>> You know how they say people with good hearts never win? That's simply because of the fact that people with good hearts aren't in it to win.
>> I don't.
>> So deep. So deep, guys.
>> I don't want to be a Debbie Downer. Yeah, but what's actually the point of even being like successful and healthy and all of this [ __ ] that you continuously work on if it's alone? Like I'm so chronically alone. It's a joke.
>> I know the girls are feeling the same way. We're this close to becoming lesbians. Okay, I'm that close. Okay, if there if I handle another failed situationship, I'm going to.
Why on earth would you want someone who treats you like crap?
>> But there's a lot of girls out there that.
>> Oh, they love it. Look, do you know that whole, oh, how was the date? It was great, but it was just too nice. What the [ __ ] are you talking about? That's like going for a meal and going, "Oh, was the meal was the meal nice?" Yeah. Tasted too good.
>> Yeah. And those are the women that say all men are [ __ ] All men are toxic. No, ma'am. They're not. It's the men that you go after that are toxic.
>> I think this is I I generally think we're getting some movie. Oh, it's too good. It just makes no sense.
>> Of course.
>> I was talking to my mom about this one guy and I was like, "He's just not my type. Like, I don't know if I want to talk to him." She literally looks at me and she goes, "Well, your type hasn't worked." So far. So, let's switch it up.
>> Yes, ma'am. She's right. You keep going for the toxic chats that don't care about you, that just want to sleep with you, and then you wonder why you can't find a good man. Ma'am, it's because you're not looking for a good man.
>> Oh, she clocked me so hard. But, mom, you are right and you are always right.
>> What does that say about society? And also, what does that say about men? Western society. Do we care about the that these men are leaving? Right? Like maybe we didn't want to date them anyways cuz they have more traditional values. It should we care? Should we care that these men are going to find women in other countries in other.
>> Yes, ma'am. You should because at some point there won't be enough men to go around. So what will you do then? You will keep making Tik Tok videos and get cats. Ma'am,
>> the continents.
>> I would love to hear if anyone's love life is more tragic than mine. I've had not one, not two, not three, four men in the last year try and chat to me who ended up either being in a relationship, engaged, or married. Like, you literally can't [ __ ] write it.
What do you do when you love somebody and they clearly love you, but they are not sure what they want from life and from the relationship? I don't know what to do.
It's because they don't like you, ma'am. When a man truly likes you, he knows what he wants. So, if he doesn't know what he wants, it's because he doesn't want you, ma'am.
Hot take. Single dads scare me. Especially if the child is under five. Why are you a single dad? Did you really leave a woman in her most vulnerable, most difficult era of her life? Oh, well, she left me. Even worse. Even worse. What woman? As a woman who left at 7 days postpartum, something crazy has to happen for you to leave right when you have a child. Something insane. Insane. Insane. Insane. Insane. Unless you're a widow. And also, wait, how did she die?
>> Is it a red flag to talk to a girl for 2 months without getting on a date?
>> Major, that's like criminal. Unless it's because she lives in another state or country, there's literally no reason why you should talk to somebody for even a month without setting up a date. If
>> and you shouldn't be talking to somebody that's out of state or or long distance because usually those kinds of relationships never work. If she's putting off meeting you for that long, she likely has zero interest in actually meeting you. True.
>> right? People that jump from like relationship to relationship to relationship. Like how? I can't even find people to date, never mind have a relationship with. Like.
>> that's a you problem, ma'am. You probably have unrealistic expectations, ma'am.
at the amount of people that I have on socials and I see like one month they're with somebody else then another month with somebody new and then and I'm like how how.
>> because there are 8 billion people on the planet ma'am. So, if you're telling me that out of all the men that are in your city, wherever you are, you can't find any of them that you want a relationship with, it's a you problem, ma'am.
>> How? Like, I don't get it.
Today, I had a friend tell me that she was just having a hard day and that she was just really upset about a man. To which I said, "Girl, ain't no man worth it." Right? Like, ain't nobody worth that. No man is worth you being upset and letting it ruin your day. And she said, "You don't think any man." No.
>> And that's why you're still single, ma'am. And that's why you'll be 40, 45, 50, still making Tik Tok videos with cats, ma'am. We're just going to skip this video because it's very stupid.
I wanted to see why you think dating is so bad right now. I think it's social media and I also think it's online dating. I think it's a one-two punch. Social media and having our own profiles on Instagram, on Tik Tok has made us an incredibly individualistic society. People think that the world revolves around them. People are so obsessed with people's perception of them. People also think there's always something better. There's such a lack of manners, rampant ghosting, playing the field and not committing, flakiness. I do fault social media and I fault online dating.
Considering giving up on dating. Dating after divorce is just like impossible. I'm not going to settle again. And I just feel like every.
>> ma'am, why did you settle from the start? Why didn't you marry a guy that you knew you could be the rest of your life with? Ma'am, why?
Everybody is so guarded and it takes so long to get to know somebody. And it's like I just want to see who you really are. And like maybe that's my problem that I like really want to know somebody quickly. Maybe it's my problem because I I don't want to put a lot of energy into something that was ultimately not going to work out. Like maybe that's my trauma. I don't know. But.
>> I can tell you from the start, ma'am. It doesn't matter if you're dating or trying to start a business, trying to make money, trying to, I don't know, learn something. If you don't put enough effort in whatever is it is that you're doing, you won't get good results. Ma'am, it's the same in dating. Why do you expect that you don't have to put any effort in and Prince Charming will just fall from the sky and reveal himself to you, ma'am? Why do you believe that? Why do you think like that, ma'am? It's so stupid, guys. We're just going to skip this video because it's very stupid.
The reason that we have so many broken families and so many people separating in today's day and age is purely just because of social media. 20, 30 years ago, we didn't have access to people in the way that we do now. We would have had to have gone physically out to like meet somebody else, speak to somebody else. Whereas now, in today's day and age, you don't have to do that. You can literally pick up your phone from England. You can be speaking to Maria in Marba in 5 minutes, but 20 years ago, if you wanted to, if as a man or a woman, if you actively wanted to like go out and meet somebody else, you would literally have to actively go out and meet somebody else. Social media has given us the illusion of expansion in terms of, you know, it makes our world bigger. They always believe the grass is greener on the other side. Exactly like the first woman.
>> when in actual fact what it's doing is closing us in and we can't even see it.
I got engaged on Friday and I feel like this is the first time I've had to sit with it. And I honestly don't even know if I'll post this, but I like just never thought that I would meet someone. There was so many times in my life that it was the third wheel. I didn't have a boyfriend all throughout college, barely in high school. Like, it was always everyone else and celebrating everyone else. And I'm just really happy that it's finally my turn. And I hope.
>> guys, how many women have you seen like this to be so emotional and happy to get engaged, to get married to a man? How many women? This is how all women should see their engagement, should see their marriage. Oh my god, I'm so excited. I'm so happy I finally found somebody to spend the rest of my days with. Nowadays, you see Tik Tok videos of women crying because they're not marrying the guy they wanted because they're settling. It's so stupid.
hope that like other people if you if you feel this way, if you feel like your turn is never coming, it's going to come. And I'm really rooting for you. And I I hope that one day you're just as happy as me. And these are obviously happy tears. I'm so excited. But it was a long road to get here. And I'm just like, I don't know, emotional about it. So.
>> hopefully hopefully, ma'am, you'll never have to get divorced, ma'am.
I think men think about looks more than women.
>> I think women care more about looks than men do.
>> I agree.
>> The things that men care about, women have a greater degree of control over, but men can't control their height. Men can't control their size. Men can't for the mo absent surgical intervention can't control their hair. Most women prefer men with who are not balding, who have a full head of hair. Women are harsher in that sense. Women care more about looks when they're younger. After they're 30, 35, 40, they're looking for the nice guy, for the piggy bank, for the provider to take care of them. They're not so interested in looks anymore. But in their 20ies, they would hook up with Chad just because he was hot.
>> Sense in just don't be fat. That's really it for a woman.
>> But what if their face is ugly though? But men's faces can also be ugly. And women have more options related to their face. It's socially acceptable for women to wear makeup, to change your face. It's not socially acceptable for men to wear makeup. For most feminine women, they're going to view that as like unmasculine gay.
>> So, I got a question for my ladies, and I know this going to get y'all mad. So, y'all swear y'all get online all day, every day, and act like y'all just got the highest standards. And I'm not judging nobody for what they do cuz it could have been me too that was a baby mama. But it's like why do y'all baby dads not have to meet these standards that y'all put on these other men? Like why don't y'all baby dads have to pay all the bills? Why don't y'all baby dads have to be the richest? Why don't y'all baby dads have to do all this stuff that you trying to get all these other men to do? Cuz it's like y'all swear y'all be having all these options and all these rich dudes checking for you, but you having a baby by man man the bum. Like why did you have to have a baby by a bum for you to try to have these type of standards?
What do you wish more men understood about the women's mental health crisis and SSRI epidemic?
>> You know, I think it's so frustrating for us to have this conversation between young men and women young women right now. And you're watching a lot of interex animosity start to build because it feels like the other side isn't acknowledging what you're going through appropriately. Right? So, I think it's important to say young men have been dealing with a substantial mental health crisis unlike anything the world has ever seen throughout my lifetime. And that has peaked in the last few years especially. But I think we're also starting to see kind of the other side of that now. And you're watching a generation of young men really redefine what our cultural values are, what strength means, retaking masculinity and ownership over your life. At the same time, you're watching all of the statistics start to suggest that for the first time in modern history, it is young women struggling with things like suicide and substance abuse, anxiety, and depression at a higher rate than young men are. What they're telling young women is the idea of existing as a woman is unacceptable for society. So now we are going to overprescribe and over medicate you to turn you into a boy because there is no value for you whatsoever as a young woman and we need young men to help us fight back against that. I think there's a huge role for masculine protective instincts here.
>> Yes, ma'am. You are correct. But why would young men care when they're demonized everywhere on social media everywhere by women online, on Tik Tok? They're demonized day by day by day. Why would they care? because we me don't care. So why would we ma'am.
>> with our generation to make sure that these lies don't continue to become truth every day?
>> I think one of the biggest differences between male spaces and female spaces online right now that a lot of male spaces are built around criticism, discipline, self-improvement, work, purpose, money, fitness, responsibility. A man gets told he's weak, lazy, broke, fat, undisiplined, too emotional, not doing enough. And whether that's harsh or not, a lot of men are used to hearing it. Fix it. Whereas a lot of female spaces right now are built around validation. Enough. You're perfect as you are. If it failed, it was probably because you were not appreciated. If a man hurt you, men are the problem. You're struggling in dating. The dating pool is the problem. And before people start frothing at the mouth, not saying women never work on themselves. We do of women are incredibly self-aware, disciplined, reflective, constantly trying to improve. That's not my point. The point is that a lot of modern female messaging has made criticism feel like oppression. From my experience, the second you question a woman's behavior now, people act like you're [ __ ] attacking her humanity. No, sometimes you just.
>> If a guy comes up to me and says, "Oh my god, my girlfriend left. Oh my god, my girlfriend cheated. Oh my god, my wife divorced me." I would tell him, "My guy, you didn't know how to spot the red flags." You married a woman that had lots and lots of red flags, so now you can't complain that she's cheating or whatever. But if I say the same about women, oh my god, I'm a misogynist. Any woman that is watching my videos and sees me critique women, even though I critique men the same way, will say, "Oh my god, you're a misogynist." Just hate lies. And I think that's the part why so many women feel stuck now because they're being comforted in circles instead of corrected with love. Because let's be honest, if every single relationship ends the same way, yes, some of that may absolutely be bad men, luck, trauma, broken culture, all.
>> No, it's not. Who's the common denominator? If you're 30 something and you haven't found a good man yet, and you've been dating for 15 years, who's the common denominator? You can't tell me that all the men that you've dated are [ __ ] Even if that's true, it's because of you. It's because you keep dating the same type of men. You're attracted to toxic men. That's the problem. You can't complain about your own decisions in life. All of that. But at some point, if the pattern keeps repeating, we may have to ask, what am I participating in here? What am I ignoring? What am I tolerating? What am I attracted to? What am I rewarding? Am I romanticizing? Am I refusing to admit something because it hurts my ego? That is not misogyny. That is maturity. And I actually think this is where a lot of women get robbed because women are so emotionally intelligent. So many ways. So in.
>> No, they're not, ma'am. They're just emotional. You said it yourself. They have no accountability. So how can they be emotionally intelligent? Yeah. I I thought she really had something there, but she lost me. Hope you enjoyed this video, guys, and I'll see you on the next.