Transcription
Third Question: 'My behaviour indicates that I am afraid. Yet the actual perception of fear is elusive. How do I reach and deal with this deep-seated but unconscious emotion?'
Do you want to go into this now? I was going to deal with it on Saturday. It doesn’t matter, we will deal both days. If one has observed, this problem of fear has existed from time immemorial. Right? It has existed with man. And man has lived with it, both consciously or hidden deep down, its roots very, very deep. And either we have escaped from it through logic, through analysis, through any form of entertainment that helps us to avoid coming directly into contact with it and holding it, or we have suppressed it. Right? We do this. Or we neglect it. We say, ‘What, we have lived with fear for million years, so what does it matter now?’ And one knows the consequences of fear: physical shrinkage, a tendency to be hypocritical, resistance, an avoidance of the fact that one is really afraid. So if one really, profoundly wants to be free from that reaction called fear, one has to go to the very root of it.
There is biological fears: the body, the organism which must protect itself, and the fear of disease, old age, death, and the fears of past memories. So fear is again a common ground upon which all human beings stand. So, either we deal with it superficially or enquire into it very, very deeply. What is the root of fear? One knows various forms of fear: death, old age, fear of tomorrow, fear of uncertainty, fear of insecurity, fear of not being loved, or love and not receiving that love, fear of loneliness, fear of loss, fear of not having anybody to depend on, and so on – there are various forms of fear – the fear of the dark, the fear of light.
Do we deal with the outward forms of fear? That is, I am afraid of my wife, or I am afraid of a bully; a bully, bullying all the time, you lie, you do all kinds of things, and there is the fear of that constant pressure of an aggressive, slightly demented person. So do we want to deal with fear superficially, which is intellectually, verbally, or do we want to go into it very, very deeply? Please, this is a serious question which you must answer for yourself. If you want to go into it superficially, that is endless. It is like a tree – the moment you cut down one branch or one twig of it there is another one rising. It’s perpetual flowering of fear. Or, you go into it observing its very nature, structure, how it comes into being.
When we want to deal with it deeply, go to the very root of it, what is the root of fear? Please, I am not telling you, the speaker is not pointing out. We are together investigating into a tremendous complicated problem which has crippled humanity. And out of fear we have done all kinds of things; invented all the gods on earth. If there is absolutely no psychological fear then you are beyond all gods. So what is basically the root of fear? Is it time and thought? Please, we are investigating, I am not telling you, I am questioning. Is it time, the future or the past? And is it also thought, thinking about the future, thinking about the past, thinking what might happen, or what has happened. The future is time. The past is time. The past, modifying itself in the present, moves towards tomorrow, the future. The remembrance of an incident which has caused fear, and the future of that incident awakening the new fear. You are following all this? Am I talking to myself or we are meeting each other?
So there is horizontal fear and vertical fear. Right? So we are asking, is it time? The past, the present and the future. One is afraid of the present: the instability, the threat of war, the bomb that some country, another great tribal country might put it on this – and so on. So one is afraid of the past, the present and the future. This is a movement – right? – it is not something that is static, it is a movement. And so a movement means time. From here to the village requires time to travel, to go to the village. From one point to another point means time. So, we are asking if time is one of the factors of fear. Logically it seems so. Rationally, sanely. And is thought also the root of fear? I think tomorrow might bring me unemployment, I will be unemployed tomorrow. The thinking about it while I am employed, thinking about the tomorrow is also the beginning of fear. Right? You are following? Thinking about the past, the incidents, the psychological accidents which has brought about certain forms of fear, thinking about the past, thinking about the future, thinking about the actual moment of life in which there is such tremendous uncertainty. Thought breeds fear. Right? You are following all this? So time and thought, are they the major factors of fear? And if they are, and as in reality they are, what is one to do? You understand my problem? Are we meeting each other?
You have explained this to me, that time and thought is the root of fear. You have gone into it, you have explained it. Not in great detail but I’ve captured the meaning of what you have said. Now, then you ask me, is it an idea that you have accepted, the words that you have accepted, or listening what you have said to me, from that listening I have made an abstraction of it into an idea, and I’m struggling with the idea. Then I ask, how am I to put that idea into action? You see the difference? Vous avez compris? You have understood what I am saying? Is this clear? No. We have the habit of making abstractions of a fact. Those abstractions become ideals, ideas, concepts, conclusions – all verbal. And then I ask myself, how am I to carry out these ideals, these ideas, these concepts, that time and thought are the root of fear. You’ve understood? I have made an abstraction of what you have told me: time and thought are the root of fear. And I am pursuing the idea, how am I to carry out in life. The speaker says please don’t do that. Don’t make an abstraction of what you have heard, that time and thought are the root of fear. Don’t translate into an idea but find out the truth of it, the actuality of it. That is, I see that I really am afraid of the past, which is so. Also I am afraid of the present, because the things are so incredibly destructive round me. And also I am afraid of tomorrow, the future – the atom bomb, the nuclear bomb, the mugging, the mad terrorists and the politicians with their game, that’s the present, so also the future. So, I see the fact, not the idea, that time and thought are the root of fear. Next Saturday I’ll go into it much more, in a different way, but this is the root of fear. Now what shall I do? I realise, I see the fact. I see the truth of what you have told me. Not romantic, idealistic, all that, that has no meaning. I see the truth, the actual truth of what you have told me.
Then the difficulty arises, if you have gone that far, who is the observer who actually sees the fact? You understand all this, or is this too difficult? All right. Who is the observer who says, ‘Ah yes, I see the truth of it’? Is the observer different from what he sees? You understand my question? When I say, ‘Yes, I see the truth of what you have told me, I have already played a trick, which is: I see the truth of it. That means I am different from the truth. You are following? Right? Is this clear? Wait a minute, let me put it much more simply. When I am angry, is that anger different from me? Or at the moment of anger there is no difference. There is this tremendous reaction. A few seconds later I say, ‘I have been angry’, therefore I have divided myself as the ‘me’ who has been angry. Right? You see? So, when you have told me the truth, the fact, that time and thought are the factors of fear, I listen to it very carefully and I say, ‘Yes, I see the truth of it’, and the perception of that truth is something out there, and me watching it. Follow this? Or, there is no observer but only the fact of it. You understand the difference? Are we meeting?
I observe that tree. In that observation, words spring up: ‘That’s an oak tree’, and the very naming of that tree prevents me from actually looking at it. You have understood? If I go to a museum and see a picture, a painting by the old masters – I don’t like modern paintings, that doesn’t matter – and I go there and look. When I compare one master against another master I am not looking at the actual painting of a particular master. I am comparing, judging, I am never observing very closely without any sense of other painters, looking. So, when I observe, when I see the truth of what you have told me, there is no division between the observer and the observed. There is only the truth of it. Not, I see it. And that perception which is holistic frees the mind from fear completely. Have you got this? Don’t look, please, so puzzled. Look, sir. What time is it? Q: Twelve thirty. K: You are not tired? Can we go on with this? It’s very important to understand this.
I am afraid – suppose I am afraid, psychologically – I then try to control it, I try to rationalise it, I try to escape from it, I go to somebody to help me to resolve it. So I am always acting on it. Right? Is that clear? That’s what we are all doing: acting upon it either to dissipate it or to control it or to run away from it or to suppress it. This is what we do, acting upon it. So there is always this conflict. Right? Is that clear? The struggle not to be afraid, which is a conflict. Now, can that conflict end? You understand? I am putting the question differently. Can that conflict between me and the fear, me controlling the fear, suppressing and so on, and thereby this division which inevitably brings conflict, can that conflict end? You get the point? That’s my question. I say, how can that conflict end? Why does this division between the ‘me’, the I who is trying to suppress, control, dominate fear, why is there this division? Is this division actual or is it merely semantic, verbal? Or, not being able to solve the problem, thought has divided itself as the ‘me’ and the fear. You understand? Am I talking to myself or can we go on? Sorry, you probably have never thought about all this. So, it is important to resolve this conflict, because we live in duality. ‘I am this, I should not be that… I should be that’. So there is always this duality which brings about conflict. Right?
Now, I want to find out – no, I won’t use ‘I want to’ – can this conflict end? Is there – please listen to it – is there an opposite? I am afraid. The opposite is not to be afraid – right? – or have courage. Is there an opposite to fear? Or there is only the ending of fear, not the opposite of fear. I wonder if you see all this. So, is there an ending of fear? – the ending being no conflict. Right? If I end it through conflict, that means I’ll go on, it’ll be perpetual. You get this? So can this end? To end something, there must be no me who is trying to end it. Right? If I try to end it, I am in conflict with it. Right? But is there an observation of this reaction called fear without the past interfering with that observation? The past being the remembrances, the many fears I have had. So the past, can it abstain from looking at the fact without the memory of yesterdays? You haven’t understood?
Look, sir: if I am married, I meet my wife every day. Every day – rather boring, every day. Listen carefully please, don’t laugh – every day. So I begin to know her; I know how she looks, what her gestures, all the rest of it, the words, so gradually I have built up a knowledge about her, and whenever I look at her all the knowledge comes out. Right? The knowledge is the past – right? – because I have built the knowledge day after day, day after day, day after day, accumulated it through various incidents and so on and so on. So whenever I see her, this knowledge, which is the past, looks at her. You are doing this, this is nothing new. Only we are putting into words. And so this knowledge is the remembrance of things past, meeting the present and so dividing. Right? Physically of course my wife is not like me – male and female. But psychologically I have divided myself. Do you understand? The remembrance of the accumulated memories, which is knowledge about my wife, has separated as the ‘me’ and her. Got this? The past has brought about this division. Now similarly, the past remembrances of fears, past remembrance of accidents of fear, the happenings of fear, is stored in the brain, and that brain is remembering the past, and so when the present reaction comes, you name it immediately as fear, and record it as fear. You follow this? Right? Is this clear? No, don’t tell me this is not clear. I can’t help it, sorry. I’ll try to put it ten, three or four different ways. The past is time. The past is the observer. And so the observer says, yes, that is fear. I know it’s fear because I have had it so many times. So, moment it recognises it, it’s part of the past. Right? You see this fact. So can you look at that reaction… is there an observation of that reaction without the past? And when the past observes, you maintain the same movement. But when there is an observation without the past, you are looking at it afresh. Which is, when you observe fear from the past, you are using an energy which has already been employed year after year. Right? That’s a wastage of energy. Is there a new energy that meets this fear without the past? You understand the question now? Oh, for God’s sake!
You see, fear exists only – I realise, one sees the truth that time and thought are the root of fear. Fear exists when there is inattention, when there is no attention. Right? If I give complete attention to fear, it doesn't exist. But my brain has been conditioned not to give attention to this reaction. When you have sexual feelings you – right? Whereas fear, if you give total attention to it which is not to analyse it, not to rationalise it, not to escape from it, not to observe it from the past – attention means giving your whole energy to look. Right? Then when you do, fear is not. I can’t go on into this. We can go into it in different ways. On Saturday we’ll go into it very much more. Because the mind that has fear is a destructive, aggressive, neurotic mind, whereas a mind that is utterly free of fear psychologically is an extraordinary mind.