Transcription
If you've been married and are now divorced, then you know that marriage is a corrupt institution, probably a wealth distribution program or a welfare program for the ingrates, the inept, and the insane. But the good news is marriage as an institution is in its death rows. I would suggest that we are very near the end of marriage as a pillar of our society. It's certainly going to be a very disruptive time as people come to that conclusion. But I'm pretty sure that we're within a generation or two of marriage fading into the pages of history.
Today, I want to talk to you guys a little bit about why that's happening and what you should do about it. And for you young guys who have not heard content like this before, listen up, because this may just save your life. This may be exactly the information you need to hear right now. Generations before you did not have access to social media the way you have it now. And so benefit from this because it will inevitably make a big difference in your life. Let's talk about it.
Despite all the evidence to the contrary, there are those in the media who would have you believe that uh marriage rates are going to bounce back. It's an economic thing. You know, it just started with the uh, you know, the economic collapse back in 2008 and then the pandemic, and you know, they all have an excuse. The truth of the matter is the rates have dropped 60% since 1970. And not only is that rate continuing to drop, but it's accelerating. So I don't see that there's any chance that we're going to experience a uh a comeback of marriage anytime soon. And part of that is because of social media. Me, other guys online going back for the last 10 years or so have been educating young people, young men in particular, about the dangers of marriage, that it is not an institution that benefits men.
Today, I'm going to give you a whole string of reasons why getting into a marriage is the last thing that you want to do. And you're not going to lose anything in the process. I guarantee you, you're going to be just fine. All the benefits that marriage offers can be had without having a contract or a government in the middle of your life.
When you listen to the people who are predicting the recovery of marriage as an institution and you do a little digging, you find that most of those people benefit from marriage: people who put on weddings, you know, divorce lawyers, you know, corporations, and of course, um, politicians who need a steady demographic in order to secure their political future. None of these people are looking at the numbers and the, um, trends in society with an objective eye. I'm sure that there were people on board the Titanic who saw the iceberg, saw the ship hit it, and they were standing there on the deck thinking, "Not to worry, everything's going to be just fine." And guess what happened? That's what I think is happening with those people who are predicting the uh resurgence of marriage as an institution in American society or even in the west for that matter.
Corporations need birth rates to rebound. The government needs birth rates to rebound. We're already seeing the fallout from South Korea, China, Japan, these Asian countries, which ironically are slightly ahead of us culturally in that their populations have withdrawn from marriage much sooner than we did. And they're much their withdrawal was much more dramatic than ours. But men across um cultures are essentially just saying no to this institution because they don't see that there's anything in it for them. The return on investment is very, very low, and the risk-to-reward ratio is completely out of whack. So there's no reason why most men with half a brain would enter into this institution because the risks are just completely disproportionate to the benefits.
So we can talk about the statistics and how marriage has, you know, rates have dropped 60% since 1970. We can look at, you know, how um birth rates are down from what women say is their ideal, which averages out to about 2.7 per woman, to what is actually slightly less than 1.7 per woman, and start looking at it from the perspective of um economics. Really what it boils down to is that when women became financially independent, the mathematics of marriage stopped working. And you can think of it like this. Imagine you have two companies that are considering going into a merger. Now, if both companies are extremely profitable and there's no real upside to the merger, then why would either one do it? Usually when companies go into a merger, it's because one of those companies is struggling. One of them needs a hand. One of them needs some help. But if both companies are financially soaring, they're just profitable as they can be, you're not going to see a merger there. There's no benefit to them. So I would suggest that so long as women have, are now, and probably will be forever um financially independent, and men who have always been financially independent, we have no need for one another on a financial basis. So the likelihood that marriage is going to be, you know, recovering anytime soon are almost zero.
I've talked a lot about how family court crushes men because most of the laws that were written that divorces are governed by were written in the 1950s when women were not financially independent. And that's why women tend to get very favorable settlements, and they also tend to get custody, and they also tend to get, you know, um child support. So what ends up happening is a man goes into this merger 50/50, but his losses are 100%. They're double what his investment is. So why would a man go into a business arrangement like that? So would you go into a business arrangement where double your investment is at stake? I don't think so. Same thing goes for marriage. Think about it like a business, and you can see that there is no upside for you as a man in this arrangement.
This week I caught a video by that that had that guy that um wrote that book about boys and men, and he's, you know, all concerned just like all those other people are, or they're all very concerned about boys and men and how we're not getting married and stuff like that. Anyway, he put a question to this panel of boys, young men. I said, "Guys in their 20s, would you guys marry a woman who makes more money than you?" And of course, all these young guys like, "Yeah, absolutely. Hell yeah, man. I'd definitely marry a woman who who makes more money than me." Well, he fails to mention that the divorce rate for women who make more money than their husbands is about three times what it is when in the other when it's the other way around. So, these guys don't know what they're doing. They don't know what it means to say yes to that question. And they're out there right now dating women. You know, they're out there right this minute thinking that they're going to find some woman who's going to support them and they're going to be Mr. Mom. Oh man, it looks so good on the silver screen, doesn't it? The man staying home with the babies. Oh, and all the, you know, the u zany situations he gets into. Oh, the antics. Yeah. No, that's not what's going to happen. No, she's got that maternal drive inside her. She's going to resent the hell out of you that you're staying home all day playing Mr. Mom, you know, going to playdates and hanging out at the playground, making trips to Target three times a week. No. No, she's not gonna like that at all. And that's gonna result in her one day saying, "You know something? This ain't working for me. I really want to be the stay-at-home mom."
In the old days of social media, it was all about sharing vacation photos and baby pictures and stuff like that. Well, today young men have access to old guys like me who can tell them what marriage and divorce are like. And when they hear that over and over and over again, it starts to sink in. Now, when I started this channel back in um we were talking about divorce back in August of 2024, um I had no idea the Pandora's box that I had opened since then. And it's been now I guess what five plus four like nine nine months or so. During those nine months I've gotten over 10 million views. And during that time I've received almost 200,000 comments. And I cannot tell you how many men have said, "John, you're telling my story. How did you know this happened exactly the same way to me?" I mean, I hear this every single day in the comments. Guys are telling me that the their story is so similar to mine that it is um shocking to them that it's almost surreal. How could you be experiencing exactly the same stuff that I'm experiencing? Because it's not a coincidence. It's just not a coincidence. This is just the way the institution works. It's the way women are. It's the way the fallacy of the institution, and there's so many forces that are operating against it. I mean, we already talked about the legal system, the financial aspects to it. Um, there's all kinds of issues with the different psychologies of men and women and the way we approach life. And I could probably make a pretty strong argument that, you know, men and women were probably not meant to live together for more than a decade or so because that's about the time that it takes for us to get really fed up with one another. So, the idea that marriage is a um viable institution when people are living to be 85, 90, or even older, and our lifespan is only increasing, especially if you're taking good care of your body. Why would you want to spend 50 or 60 years with someone who hates you for most of that time? Yeah. Why would you want to do that? Don't.
Another kind of comment that I see really often is from younger guys, and they're saying, "John, I want a family. What about companionship? What about children? What about all of those things that are really valuable to me that I want to have in my life? And my response to you is, you can have all of that without having the government involved in your life. You don't need a marriage license to have a family. You don't need to get the government involved in your friendships. Why would you have like a business license to have a friend? No, you don't want that. Well, a marriage license is essentially like a business license, except that it's more of a business contract, I guess. However, this contract is written so disproportionately against you that the value that you might get from the relationship um and having children and having that lifestyle is always going to be at risk against losing half your income plus a significant portion of all your assets. It would be the single most devastating thing that ever happened to you in your life if that woman that you married and had children with said to you one day, "I don't feel the same anymore. I don't want to be married to you. I don't think you're that attractive anymore. You're not the man that I fell in love with. I don't want to have sex anymore." Pick take your pick. Just take one because you're going to hear that. Most guys do. And once you hear that, you're going to spiral. And when she packs up and leaves, or worse yet, she packs up your stuff and puts it out on the curb. Yeah. Your life is completely upside down. And you will not experience disorientation and pain and emotional turmoil like that in almost any other set of circumstances. It is by far the most mind you're ever going to get. And then economically, you're going to get it in the rear in court, too. You may not even have a relationship with your kids anymore. Um, all your dreams of having this, you know, marriage that goes into old age, into retirement, you're sitting on rocking chairs, reflecting on your wonderful lives together. Yeah. That just goes up in smoke. It just goes up in smoke. And then you're left with this huge empty space in your gut, and you're wondering, "What the hell was I thinking? What did I do wrong? What's wrong with me? How did this happen? Yeah, you do not want that experience. It is devastating. It is devastating.
So, you don't need to get the government involved in your relationships. You can have a relationship with a woman and you can get her pregnant. I've seen it happen. I've done it myself without even being married. Did it before I got married. And you can have kids. And I have a kid from that pregnancy. But he's still one of my best friends. So, you don't need to have have a marriage license to get to have a family. You can do that completely on your own. And there's myriad ways of doing it. There's a lot of different ways. There's surrogates, you know, there's um adoption, there's uh, you know, girlfriends, you know, there's lots of women out there who are really happy to be in a cohabitative relationship or even in a relationship where you have children and you go both have your own se separate houses. I mean, there's all kinds of circumstances out there. Just because um everyone has done it this way in the past doesn't mean that this is the way it's going to be done in the future. So we're really at the um frontier of an entirely new social structure, and you have the opportunity to write it the way you want it. You do not have to accept that the way your grandfather did things or the way your father did things is the way that you must do things. All that is changing and it's changing fast. And you guys, you young guys who have not been down this path yet, have the opportunity to rewrite this whole structure the way you want it to be. There's lots of paths forward, but you don't have to do it the way everyone's done it in the past.
So, here's how this looks in practice for different guys. So you guys who like me are divorced, you've already been down that path, you don't need to learn this lesson twice, spare yourself the pain. Enjoy your freedom. Rediscover yourself. Build some wealth. Get some hobbies. Date. Expand your social life. You don't need the structure of a marriage in your life in order to be happy. Find a way to explore your freedom and embrace it fully. I think a lot of men get into marriage because they feel like they need structure in their lives. And maybe when you're 22 or you're 25, that's when I was or 30, you think that's going to benefit you. Yeah, it doesn't. It doesn't. You the last thing you want is a woman structuring your life. No, don't do it. You've been down that path. Don't do it again.
For young guys who have not been married yet, this is your opportunity. Date without the pressure of worrying about getting married. Be free, be happy, be um, you know, fully in the moment when you're with a girl that you really enjoy. Don't be afraid to fall in love. Don't be afraid to have a relationship. Don't be afraid to let it evolve to a certain degree and be exclusive. Just don't get yourself to in too deep. And if it comes to that moment where you're starting to think, okay, well, maybe marriage is on the table, I suggest you do this like you would a business decision and run the numbers. Take a look at the legal situation where you live. Find out how divorces are settled. Take a look at the amount of money you have in the bank, how much money you're making, how much money she's bringing to the table, how much money she's making, the cost of living that you have to face, um what your plans are for children, and just do some math here. You will see that even if you don't feel emotionally devastated at the end of this, if she leaves you, you're not going to be you're gonna be just fine. You'll recover. And we all do. We all recover. Most of us do. But the financial impact of this is going to add a whole another layer of pain because it may take you a decade to recover from that loss. And think about that. Would you take a risk on an investment if the potential loss was so great that it might require 10 years of hard work to recover from it? Would you do it? I don't think so. So, but run the numbers. Maybe it'll change in the future. Like I said, you know, these things are all changing. It's evolving as we speak. Um, but don't get into some traditional marriage where she's got access to all your money and your assets because um you'll regret it. I promise you.
I can already hear some of you guys thinking, "Well, that doesn't apply to me because that's just the way a bunch of old divorced guys talk. You know, he's just bitter. That's what it is. He's a bitter old man. That's not going to happen to me. I'm way too smart for that. I'll get a prenup." Yeah, prenups are not worth the paper they're written on after a certain period of time. So once you get past 5 years in a relationship, definitely after 10 years, situations change. And also the judge can take into account what she tells him or the circumstances surrounding the signing of the prenup. Maybe she felt pressured. You don't want to go into court having her say that she pressured she was pressured by you to sign a prenup before you got married. Yeah, that could go off really badly. Anyway, my point is the judge can throw that thing out without any consideration. It'll happen so fast it'll make your head spin. He'll just say, "Yeah, we're not going to consider that. Put it aside. We're setting aside the prenup. It's been too long." Or, "She says she was pressured into it. Yeah, we're setting aside the prenup. It doesn't apply here." It'll happen just like that. And before you realize that he's not listening, he's not gonna hear your pleading that no, no, no, you got to listen to me. No, we she signed it. It was fine. We had an agreement. You're saying we agreed. He's like, "No, sorry, man. Got a whole new agreement coming. You're gonna love this one. You're gonna give her half your stuff and half your money for the rest of your life. How'd you like that agreement?"
So, just a real quick recap. Marriage rates are declining not because men are afraid of marriage or because they are um somehow broken and incapable of of marrying a woman or finding a woman to marry. That's not what's happening at all. No, they are getting smarter. You know, they are seeing the financial um situation here. They're doing a uh a risk-reward analysis and they're coming to the conclusion just like if you if you buy enough lottery tickets, one day you're going to go, you know something, I'm wasting my money. I'm not going to do this anymore. Well, it's the same thing with marriage. Like, why would you waste your money? Why would you do that? You don't have to do that. There's another path to achieve wealth than buying a lottery tickets. Take those dollars and put them in the bank. Buy some stock. Buy some Bitcoin. But don't waste it on lottery tickets. That's just a tax. And same thing with marriage. Why would you invest your time, energy, and your life into a woman when the likelihood that she is going to turn it all upside down when she's not happy and take half your stuff is a very, very, very good likelihood. It's happening to most marriages right now as we speak. So, don't let it happen to you.
So, here's my challenge to you. Stop making life decisions based on what your father or your grandfather or your great-grandfather did. Those days are over. They're gone. You know the facts now. You know how this works. When it comes to making a big decision in your life, take a very analytical and business-like approach. Do a risk-reward. Look at the return on investment. Don't just jump in because you have an emotional attachment. Success is based on the outcome of your decisions. Getting into a marriage is giving someone else significant control over the balance of your life. So, don't do that. All right, you guys. That's all I got for you today. I think I swallowed a gnat. So, um, if you like the video, please like and subscribe. If you know someone who's going through this decision-making process, do them a favor and share this video with them. Until I see you next time, remember, stay healthy, and if you can, stay single.