Transcription
Is everybody happy today? Okay, let me, let me see the evidence. I want to see the evidence on your face right now. Now, that's been joyful and radiant. And does everybody see the good in everybody today? Did you see the good in people yesterday? Do you see even more good in them today? And will you see even more good in them tomorrow? Absolutely, every day. And does everybody forgive me? Okay, we, we said that was a hard one. Okay.
And how many of you feel that unity is the most important of all things? One, two, three, four. That's great. So now we have come four steps on this six-step journey. We now know four qualities of `Abdu'l-Bahá that we consider to be essential qualities. First, that happiness, joy, and radiance is the first virtue we are trying to emulate. The second is that we only see the good in people and we completely ignore and look past any shortcomings anyone has. The third, surprisingly, was the quality of forgiveness, and we examined this yesterday, how forgiveness is the pathway to love. And then last night, we talked about unity, the pivotal principle of the Baha'i Faith, and how `Abdu'l-Bahá valued this higher than any other thing. In fact, He wouldn't even come to America until the believers were first united.
So now today, we want to come to the fifth quality of `Abdu'l-Bahá. And I asked you yesterday if you could figure out what it was, and nobody got it. Nobody got it. I was very surprised. Most of you got forgiveness before you keep talking about perseverance and patience and sir. And I'm not telling you what we're going to do next session. But today, I want you to see if you can tell me one more time. I had to choose this as the fifth quality. We already did unity, humility, wow, selflessness, humility, love, service, detachment, yes, firmness in the covenant, yes. After Bahá, He was permanent, He would say firmness in me. I guess no, I know that's what doesn't make. I should haven't said that. We're gonna, we're gonna erase that from the recording. Well, I'll give you a clue. Let's just, let's just give you a clue. What would you call the foundation of something? What, what is the foundation? When you build a house, what do you build first? You have the foundation. What is the cornerstone of a foundation? It's like the first part of the first part, isn't it? A cornerstone of the foundation is that it's the most important part of the most important part. The cornerstone of the foundation. And the thing we want to talk about today is the cornerstone of the foundation of all Baha'i activity. So now, that's a little clue. Now, who wants to tell us what is the cornerstone of the foundation of all Baha'i activity? What is it?
Obedience is the cornerstone of the foundation of all Baha'i. Maybe anyone have any other guesses? Immersing yourself in the writings is the cornerstone of the foundation of all Baha'i activity. Maybe anyone have any other guesses? Trustworthiness, the cornerstone of the foundation. Initiative is the cornerstone. Reliance upon God is the cornerstone of the foundation of all Baha'i. Any other ideas? Maybe one of these are right. You never know. The cornerstone of the foundation of all Baha'i activity is breakfast. Okay, maybe in the Persian untranslated, but I'm not, I'm not sure about that one. Anyone have any other suggestions?
Well, you know what? Let's ask the House of Justice. Let's ask the House of Justice. Here's a statement from the Universal House of Justice, and I quote: "The cornerstone of the foundation of all Baha'i activity is teaching the Cause." Teaching the Cause. And somebody said it, didn't they? Then somebody said, yes, teaching the Cause. In fact, `Abdu'l-Bahá went so far as to say it was the most important of all things. He said, in His Will and Testament, "Guidance of the nations and peoples of the world is the most important of all things." And then He went on to add, "Of all the gifts of God, the greatest is the gift of teaching."
So I want to ask you, how many gifts does God have? How much does He have? Ten? Twelve? Fifteen? A hundred? A thousand? How many gifts does God have? He's got a lot of gifts, huh? And of all the gifts, it's the greatest gift of God. Now, I remember when I was a child, and I looked at that Christmas tree, and there were all these gifts. I would look at the biggest one that was wrapped. I would just look at that for weeks and look at that and wonder, what's inside that? That's the big gift. That's the greatest gift. And I couldn't wait till Christmas morning. And if that had my name on it, and here `Abdu'l-Bahá saying, "That's the big present under the Christmas tree." Teaching. God has a lot of gifts, but He says that teaching is the greatest gift of God.
So I had to choose this as one of the qualities of `Abdu'l-Bahá. But we don't want to talk about the importance of teaching. We all know this. We want to find out how did `Abdu'l-Bahá teach? In what way did He teach so that we can actually open this present under the Christmas tree, this greatest gift of God? We cannot partake of it if we don't know how to accept the gift and use the gift. Now, have any of you ever tried to use something and used the wrong tool? Have you ever had the wrong tool? Maybe you were trying to hammer in a nail, but you only had a screwdriver, and you're pounding it with a screwdriver? Or you had to screw in a nail and you only had a hammer? Or something. Have you ever tried to do that? It's so hard when you have the wrong tool, and it's so easy, so deceptively easy, when you have the right tool. And `Abdu'l-Bahá had the right tools for teaching, and we can learn what they are by studying the way in which He taught.
So this discussion today is not going to be about teaching and how important it is and why we should do it and we need to get up and go out and do it. No, this is going to be on how `Abdu'l-Bahá did it and how we can do the same things that He did. So I took all the stories I could find about `Abdu'l-Bahá when He was teaching and the ways in which He taught and and things of that nature, and I came up with an analysis of what I found to be six principles. Six basic principles that if we could learn to follow these principles, we could also teach like `Abdu'l-Bahá. These are the tools we need to put in our tool chest. And so I want to tell you what these six are. I'm going to write them down on the board here. Can you hear me on this one here?
The first two, the first principle, if you want to teach like `Abdu'l-Bahá, well, the first one is to get your fill. That's the first principle about the Bahá'í. You need to get your fill. If you don't get your fill, you cannot teach the Faith. According to the second, you need to consult the FBI. We must consult the FBI. If you don't, you cannot teach like `Abdu'l-Bahá. These are the principles. Just write them down. The third is you need to have the right DNA. Absolutely essential. You have to have the right. You cannot teach the Faith if you don't have the right DNA. The fourth, and the fourth is extremely important. It's essential, in fact. The fourth is you need to be bad. You need to be bad. Absolutely. You cannot teach like `Abdu'l-Bahá if you can't learn to be bad. And we're gonna, five, and I think you'll like number five. Number five is you need to find the Bob. I think you like that one. You like that one. Find the Bob. You need to find the Bob. And the last one, the most important one, probably of all, the sixth one, you need to talk like hell. You need to talk. These are the six essential qualities. Just write them down. If you could learn these six, you too can teach like `Abdu'l-Bahá. You need to get your fill. You need to consult the FBI. You need to have the right DNA. You need to be bad. You need to find the Bob. And you need to talk like hell.
Are you asking me for references? Okay, just for you, I'm gonna give you references. Let's, let's begin by talking about teaching with a story told by Mirza Haydar Ali when he was in the mansion of Bahjí. And Bahá'u'lláh Himself started to talk about teaching. And the remarkable thing about this is that Bahá'u'lláh was explaining how we should teach. And as He was explaining it, He then turned and said, "Consider how `Abdu'l-Bahá teaches." And pointed out the way in which `Abdu'l-Bahá taught. Bahá'u'lláh could have just told us how to teach. He's a Manifestation of God, but even He felt the need to show the example of `Abdu'l-Bahá. That sometimes words are not enough. That you need to see the example. So this is a remarkable incident in the life of Bahá'u'lláh when He's talking about teaching and then also pointing to `Abdu'l-Bahá as an example.
So let's read this. Mirza Haydar Ali says, "I went to His room in the mansion of Bahjí, and He spoke about teaching. He said, 'A kindly approach and loving behavior toward the people are the first requirements for teaching the Cause.'" And right there, I'm thinking, a kindly approach and loving behavior, not knowledge, not wisdom, not facts, not intelligence, not eloquence. The first requirements are love and a kind approach. That's interesting in itself, isn't it? And Bahá'u'lláh continues, He says, "The teacher must carefully listen to whatever a person has to say, even though his talk may consist of only vain imaginings and blind repetitions of the opinions of others." And now I'm getting even more confused. I thought that teaching was me speaking and then listening. And Bahá'u'lláh says, "The teacher must be the listener. The teacher must carefully listen to whatever a person has to say." And I'm thinking, well, yeah, if they've got something good to say, I'll listen to them. He says, "must carefully listen to whatever a person has to say, even though his talk may consist only of vain imaginings and blind repetitions of others." And so this is very interesting because it completely changes my idea of what teaching is. The first requirement is love and kindly approach. And the first thing you do is you have to listen. That's the first requirement.
So I said, "Okay, if Bahá'u'lláh says the first thing you have to do is love and listen, then you have to get your fill." And that means first I listen and love. Let's say that. What does "fill" stand for? First I listen and love. Every time we go, we need to say to ourselves, "What is the first thing I'm going to do? What is the very first thing I'm going to do?" The first thing I'm going to do is listen to the person and love the person. Usually, when we go teaching, we're thinking, "Well, what am I going to say?" That's what we're thinking. And Bahá'u'lláh, He completely changes this. He says, "These are the first requirements for teaching." Now, how do you love a person? We already talked about this. There's only one way `Abdu'l-Bahá loved a person, and that's to find the beauty inside that person. If you can't find the beauty inside the person, you can't love them. You have to look for God in them. You have to look for the beauty. That's why you need to consult the FBI, because FBI stands for "Find the Beauty Inside." Find the beauty inside. These are the first two requirements, according to Bahá'u'lláh. Are you happy now with your quotation? Are you, will you accept that Bahá'u'lláh says that first you listen and love, and second, you find the beauty inside? Yes, He did. He didn't quite put it in these words, but basically, He says, "First I listen and love. Second, I find the beauty inside."
Well, well, come to it now. Bahá'u'lláh continues. He says, "One should not resist or engage in argument. The teacher must avoid disputes which will end in stubborn refusal or hostility, because the other person will feel overpowered and defeated. Therefore, he will be more inclined to reject the Cause. One should rather say, 'Maybe you are right, but kindly consider the question from this other point of view.' Consideration, respect, and love encourage people to listen and do not force them to respond with hostility. They are convinced because they see that your purpose is not to defeat them, but to convey truth, to manifest courtesy, and to show forth heavenly attributes. This will encourage the people to be fair. Their spiritual natures will respond, and by the bounty of God, they will find themselves recreated."
So now, Bahá'u'lláh says one must not resist or engage in argument. Now, He just said that you have to listen to the most stupid things. He basically said that. He didn't use exactly those words, but He did say listen to things no matter what they are. And then don't resist and don't engage in argument. And this is our natural tendency when we hear somebody say something that we feel is not right, perhaps we know it's not right because it's counter to the words of God. We feel the tendency to have to correct them or have to say what the right thing is. And Bahá'u'lláh says, "Don't do that. Do not resist. Do not engage in argument. Rather, try to get them to see it from a different point of view." This is such an important principle that Bahá'u'lláh is talking about, because you have to understand that everybody is right according to their own frame of reference. Everybody is right. Nobody's wrong according to their own frame of reference. The only reason they think something different to you is because they have a different frame of reference to you. But from their frame of reference, they're right. And so Bahá'u'lláh is saying, you can't change somebody's opinion of something, but you can change their frame of reference, and thereby their opinion will automatically change. As He says, "Kindly consider this from a different point of view."
There's an old saying, it says, "Before criticizing anyone, walk a mile in their shoes." And then when you do criticize them, you're a mile away from them, and you have their shoes. They say so. So the point is, the point is, is that first you listen to the person. Then, whatever they say, you do not resist or argue with them whatsoever, no matter what they say. This is, I'm taking this from Bahá'u'lláh. No matter what they say. And then you try to help them to see it from a different point of view, a different frame of reference. And how do we do that? We're gonna have to learn how to do that. There are ways to do that. And so you would have to agree that if you want to be the right teacher, you have to have the right DNA. And DNA stands for "Do Not Argue." That's what you did. Just save yourself. I need to have the DNA of a teacher. The DNA of a teacher is that I do not argue. First, I get my fill. First, I listen and love. Second, I find the beauty inside the person by consulting the FBI. And third, I have the right DNA. I do not argue. Do you know what the other three are now? Can you figure them out? You need to be bad. You need to find the Bob. And of course, you need to talk like hell. Do you know what they mean?
Well, let's keep reading. Let's go back to Bahá'u'lláh and the mansion of Bahjí. "Consider the way in which the Master teaches the people. He listens very carefully to the most hollow and senseless talk. He listens so intently that the speaker says to himself, 'He is trying to learn from me.' Then the Master gradually and very carefully, by means that the other person does not perceive, puts him on the right path and endows him with a fresh power of understanding." This is a description of `Abdu'l-Bahá's method of teaching. That He listens to the most hollow and senseless talk. Have any of you ever heard some hollow and senseless talk? Why are you raising your hand right now? But you have. And you think, "This is not important to listen to." And yet `Abdu'l-Bahá, Bahá'u'lláh says He listened so intently. He listens very carefully. Now, why is `Abdu'l-Bahá listening so carefully to hollow and senseless talk, according to Bahá'u'lláh? Furthermore, He listens so much so that the person says, "He's trying to learn from me." And by the way, this is in many stories about `Abdu'l-Bahá, that people came away and said, "I felt as if I was teaching him. That he was learning from me." How did `Abdu'l-Bahá give people that impression? How did He do it? Because He really was. He really was learning from these people. He wasn't just pretending to listen and nodding His head and thinking, "Oh my God, this is hollow and senseless." No, He was listening. And there was a very good reason why He was listening. We're gonna figure that one out too.
And then Bahá'u'lláh says, "He listens, and then gradually, by means that the person does not perceive, puts him on the right path." He basically says that `Abdu'l-Bahá was a little sneaky and kind of, you know, divine way. His divine sneakiness, because somehow He's able to put them on the right path without them even realizing it, while they think they're teaching Him. And the way in which `Abdu'l-Bahá did this, He had some secret weapons. Secret weapons that He was able to use that if we used, we would also be able to do this. Just three simple secret weapons. They're not so hard. And if we had them, these are more powerful than the lightsaber in Star Wars, or the ring in Lord of the Rings, or any other weapon, any magic wand. These are the secret weapons that `Abdu'l-Bahá had. The most powerful weapons that we can have. And you can have them if you want them.
Let's look at these weapons. The first is the weapon of kindliness. Kindness has magic powers. Bahá'u'lláh says, "Should any one among you be incapable of grasping a certain truth or be striving to comprehend it, so forth, when conversing with him, a spirit of extreme kindliness and goodwill." Now, what He's saying here is extreme kindliness. And I love the way Bahá'u'lláh says "extreme kindliness." One thing I really like about the Germans, there's more than one thing, but one thing I particularly like about the Germans is that anytime they want a new word, they just take two words and put them together and make another word. Don't you like the way they do that? It's one of their great qualities. And here, I like to see "extreme kindness" as a completely new word. Just put it together. Say it fast. Extreme kindness. Extreme kindness. Because Bahá'u'lláh just couldn't say kindness. He says, "When you teach, you have to teach with extreme kindliness." And this has magic powers. Bahá'u'lláh says, for example, He talks about kindness and He says, "If he be aware of a certain truth, and if he possess a jewel of which others are deprived, share it with them in a language of utmost kindness and goodwill." Utmost kindness and goodwill.
Now, this is interesting. He can't just say kindness. He has to say utmost kindness, or extreme kindness. And then Bahá'u'lláh makes a warning. He warns us against something. And anytime Bahá'u'lláh says "beware," we should all be shaking. We should all be scared, like in a horror movie, because you know something's gonna happen. And Bahá'u'lláh says, "Beware." He warns us. He says, "Beware lest you deal unkindly with him." And then He makes one of the most remarkable statements I have read in His writings. He compares kindness to four different things in one sentence. Four analogies that are so powerful that I cannot believe them. He says, "A kindly tongue is the lodestone of the hearts of men. It is the bread of the spirit. It clothes the words with meaning. It is the fountain of the light of wisdom and understanding." And I'm thinking, good job, Bahá'u'lláh, for analogies in one sentence. And what powerful analogies. First of all, He's comparing kindness to a magnet. A lodestone, of course, is a naturally magnetic stone. And what are the powers of a magnet? They attract. It seems like magic, the power of a magnet. And now He's saying that kindness attracts. Not knowledge, not wisdom, not the facts. The actual, just the kindness has a force of attraction, a magnet. What does it attract? It attracts metallic objects or magnetic objects. He says, "This is a magnet of the hearts of men." That kindness is that something? Oh my gosh, that is a powerful analogy.
And then immediately, He compares kindness to food. He says, "It's the bread of the Spirit." How many of you like food? One, two, three. So this is interesting. You like food. But how many of you need food? And what does food do to your physical body? It nourishes it. It makes it strong. And now He's saying, "Kindliness is the bread of the Spirit. It's food for the Spirit." And I would have thought that it wasn't the kindness, it was the words or the facts or the knowledge or the wisdom that fed the Spirit. And He's saying that kindness itself is the food. It's the bread of the Spirit. Then He says, "It clothes the words with meaning." And I'm saying, "Hold on, hold on. I thought words had meaning in and of themselves. You look in the dictionary, this is the meaning of the words." And Bahá'u'lláh says, "No, the words have no meaning if they have no kindness. The kindness actually gives meaning to the words." I can't believe that. Anytime I watch a movie, sometime near the end of the movie, the main hero, he says something really strong and forceful, or shouts it or something, and everybody nods, and the other person says, "Yes, like that," and they all clap. You know, it doesn't happen like that in real life. If you did that in real life, they would punch you in the face. So if you really wanted to make something more meaningful, you wouldn't go more forceful, you would go more kindly. That will give it more meaning. We think we're adding meaning to something by making it forceful. We're doing exactly the opposite, according to Bahá'u'lláh. It's kindness that gives meaning to the words.
And then finally, He compares it to water. He says, "It is the fountain of the light of wisdom and understanding." How many of you like water? How many of you, when you're thirsty, crave water? How long can you go without water? Just two or three days max. And the water is life-giving. And now He compares it to water. So I'm saying, "Is kindness really this powerful? That it is attractive like a magnet? It feeds the soul like food feeds the body? It gives meaning to the words? And it's life-giving as water?" And yes, indeed, kindliness is a secret weapon that `Abdu'l-Bahá used every time. And not just kindness. Let's say it fast. Extreme kindliness. In fact, Shoghi Effendi says, "Let us remember the example set by `Abdu'l-Bahá and His constant admonition to shower such kindness upon a seeker and to exemplify to such a degree the spirit of the teachings He hopes to instill in him that the recipient will be spontaneously impelled to identify himself with the Cause." I thought this is interesting. He doesn't say to shower such knowledge, and such wisdom, and all the teachings, and all the things. Shower such kindness upon the person that they will be spontaneously impelled to embrace the Cause. So would you agree that kindliness is a secret weapon? But we can't say kindness. We have to say extreme.
Wow. Let's look at two other secret weapons of `Abdu'l-Bahá. And these two weapons are lowliness and humility. For some reason, lowliness and humility have powers that we do not realize. It's ironic because you think that lowliness and humility is the lack of power. But in fact, if you read what `Abdu'l-Bahá has said, you'll find that these two things have enormous power. Now, I just want to make clear, lowliness and humility are two different things. When I was in several countries, they didn't even have a word that distinguished between lowliness and humility. But when I was in Florida, one of the Bahá'ís, she was at quite an elderly woman, a Persian lady, and she said, "Why do we have to teach with lowliness?" And she's a good friend of mine. She was quite old. And I said, "Well, take it up with `Abdu'l-Bahá." And and and you're probably gonna see Him before I do. I say. And she's a good friend of mine. Anyway, anyway, after this session, after the session, she came up to me and she said, "Why did you say that to me? I thought you said loneliness." And I said, "Well, I'm very sorry. I didn't obey the first rule, which is, first I listen and love." But then it made me think about this. And when I got to Denmark, they said lowliness and humility, and they only had one word, which was humility. And humility. And they said, "There's a device that no humility means that you don't consider yourself very powerful or great or important. But lowliness means you place yourself in life, in a low position." There are some people that don't think they're so great themselves, but they still place themselves in high positions. Okay? And there are other people that they may be in a low position in life, but they think they're great. Do you see? These are two different things. Lowliness and ability. So `Abdu'l-Bahá always, He says, "Humbled and lowly" in His prayers. He often, these are like two sides of a coin that we need to both be humble and place ourselves in a lowly position.
Now, `Abdu'l-Bahá says, "In accordance with the divine teachings in this glorious Dispensation, we should not belittle anyone and call him ignorant, saying, 'You know not that I know.' Rather, we should look upon others with respect, and when attempting to explain and demonstrate, we should speak as if we are investigating the truth, saying, 'Here, these things are before us. Let us investigate to determine where and in what form the truth can be found.' The teacher should not consider himself as learned and others ignorant. Such a thought breeds pride, and pride is unconditional. He should speak with the utmost kindliness, lowliness, and humility, for such speech exerts influence and educates souls." Extreme kindness, lowliness, and humility. Those are the three secret weapons. `Abdu'l-Bahá just told you the three. So basically, what He's saying is that when you talk, you need to talk like hell. Because when you talk like hell, humility, extreme kindliness, lowliness, and love. That's it. Say it. Humility, extreme kindliness, lowliness, and love. Every time you open your mouth, think, "Am I talking like hell?" Just say that yourself. "I'm about to open my mouth. Am I talking like hell? Do I have humility? Do I have extreme kindliness?" That's why I like the "extreme" part of it. "Do I have lowliness? And do I have love?" Because Bahá'u'lláh said that love is the first requirement for teaching. `Abdu'l-Bahá said the three are humility, extreme kindliness, lowliness. So would you agree that it is in the writings that we need to talk like hell? Are you going to accept this now? Do you accept this? You do accept it. We need to talk like hell.
Okay. So when I was reading this quotation, and where `Abdu'l-Bahá was basically saying, "talk like hell," He said an interesting thing. He said that if you think you're superior to the person, then you will have some pride. And as soon as you have pride, you are not able to influence the person. That basically, you take meaning away from the words. The same way that when you're unkindly. And so when I thought about that, I said, "Oh, basically what `Abdu'l-Bahá is saying is there are certain ways that you can take meaning away from words." I thought that was interesting. So I went back and read the quotations and found that there's exactly nine ways in which you can take meaning away from words. So I wrote them down in case any of you ever want to take meaning away from the words. Here are the nine things that you can do to take the meaning away.
The first thing you can do is say it with pride. Say it with pride. It doesn't matter if the thing you're saying is true. It could be absolutely true. It could be the word of God. But go ahead and say it with pride, and you took the meaning away from the word of God, according to `Abdu'l-Bahá. You took the meaning away. It has nothing to do with that it's true. You think, "Oh, this is true, and I'm saying it." But you said it with pride. You took meaning away from the words. To say it in a way that makes you appear superior. Just say it in a way. It doesn't matter how true it is. It could be the rightest thing that was ever said. But say it in a way that makes you appear superior, and suddenly you took meaning away from the word of God. Three, say it in a way that makes you appear to have greater endowments, greater intelligence, or greater knowledge. How often do we say things, or people say things, in such a way that the subtext is, "I know more than you. I have more knowledge. I'm more intelligent than you." Go ahead and say something with that, and you took meaning away from the words. Four, say it in a way that makes the other person feel inferior. Just do that, and you took meaning away from the words, no matter how true it is. You took the truth away from the words. Number five, say it in a way that makes the other person appear to have less intelligence or less knowledge. Number six, say it without kindliness. Doesn't matter if it's true. Say it without kindness, and the words have no meaning, because kindness clothes the words with meaning. Number seven, say it when it is beyond their current capacity. Say something, even though it's true, but say it when it's not part of their capacity. And we're going to read about this in a moment. Number eight, say it in a way that it is threatening to them. They'd somehow threaten some part of them. Maybe it threatens their pride, maybe it threatens their sense of self-worth, or something like this. You know, any time you speak truth and it threatens them, you took the meaning away. You know, it reminds me of the story, "Why did the Persian take his iron to the psychiatrist?" And of course, the reason is, the punchline is, "Because he had no self-esteem." And and I'm sorry, I'm sorry to mention that. But the thing is, nobody likes to have their self-esteem hurt. Not even Persians in their irons, okay? Nobody likes to have their self-esteem hurt. And if you say something in a way that hurts their pride or their self-esteem, you took meaning away. And lastly, number nine is, say it before first removing what `Abdu'l-Bahá calls estrangement. `Abdu'l-Bahá says that you should not speak until you have removed certain barriers of what He calls estrangement. Let me read this to you. He says, "Souls are liable to estrangement. Such methods should be adopted that the estrangement should be first removed, then the word will have effect." You know that when you meet people at first, you have certain barriers. But once you get to know them, and they become your friend, there's a certain difference that comes in. `Abdu'l-Bahá says you need to do this first. So these are nine ways that you can take meaning away from words.
Have you noticed this so far? I have not said anything about what we should say when we teach. If you notice that, I've been talking now for 40 minutes or so, and all about teaching, and yet I have not said anything about what we should say. Is that kind of interesting? Because usually, when we talk about teaching, we immediately get into, "Okay, what do you say in this circumstance? You know, how do you say this? How do you say that? When they ask this question, what do you say?" And here I am, talking about teaching and how to teach, and so far I haven't said one thing about what you should say. So how important is speech, and what you say, to teaching in relation to the overall process of teaching? Where would you rate speech? Where would you put it? We're on a scale of one to ten, where would you put it? Oh, if one is the most important and ten is the least important, where would you put it? Two? Three? Five? Ten? Who knows? Let's ask `Abdu'l-Bahá. You want to ask `Abdu'l-Bahá? Okay.
So here's `Abdu'l-Bahá, and He's talking about teaching, and He says, "Teaching the Cause of God is not only through the tongue." So now we know that speech is not the only part of teaching. He says, "It is not only through the tongue. It is..." And let's just count the things that He says it is through. "Deeds, a good disposition, happiness of nature, kindness and sympathy, good fellowship, trustworthiness, holiness, virtue, purity of ideals, and lastly, speech." Lastly, speech. And that word "lastly," I didn't add that. That's in `Abdu'l-Bahá's text. He listed nine things, and then said, "and lastly, speech." And think about those nine things, and think about what's not even in those nine things. There's not knowledge. There's not eloquence. There's not information. They're not even, they don't even make the top ten. Okay? They are deeds, good disposition, happiness, kindness, sympathy, good fellowship, trustworthiness, holiness, purity. These are all virtues. These are all qualities of love and compassion and happiness and joy. These are the big nine. And lastly, speech. So I think we should all memorize that list. We should all know what is the top ten. Well, you'll have to look it up. You'll have to look it up. Go to Ocean, or one of the Baha'i programs, type "lastly speech," and you'll find it. It will say, "Deeds, a good disposition, happiness of nature, kindness and sympathy, good fellowship, trustworthiness, holiness, virtue, purity of ideas." I don't have to say them. You can look them up yourself.
So `Abdu'l-Bahá says that there is a certain quality of teaching that He defined using various terms. And Bahá'u'lláh also talked about it. And I want to give you these three terms, and I think of them all kind of synonymous. One is the term wisdom, and another is the term moderation, and another is the concept of teaching according to the capacity of the person. Okay? But all three of these are really different ways of saying the same thing. For example, `Abdu'l-Bahá says, "Under all conditions, the message must be delivered, but with wisdom." And He says, "Okay, you should teach, but you need to teach a certain way and not another way, and it's with wisdom." And you say, "Well, what do you mean by wisdom?" And then He explains the meaning of wisdom in this context. He says, "Not everything that a man knoweth can be disclosed, nor can everything that he can disclose be regarded as timely, nor can every timely utterance be considered as suited to the capacity of those who hear it. Such is the consummate wisdom to be observed in thy pursuits."
So what is He saying here? He's saying, first of all, that you cannot say everything you know. You know a lot of things, and when you're talking to someone, you have to choose out of all the things you know, which things you can say, because you obviously can't say everything you know. `Abdu'l-Bahá is making a point here. He says, however, from the things that you know that you can also say, not everything is timely. Not everything, it's not the right time to say it. It doesn't come up in the conversation. It's just not the right time. And so you think, "Okay, well, then I'll, whatever is timely, I will say out of what I know." And `Abdu'l-Bahá warns you against the timely utterance. He warns you against the timely utterance. He says, "Not every timely utterance can be considered as suited to the capacity of those who hear it." Basically, what He's saying is that the only thing you should be thinking about is not whether or not you know it, not whether or not you have the to say it, not whether or not it's the right time to say it because it comes up in the car, but only whether or not it is suited to the capacity of the person. That is our only criteria. Quite often, we hear certain words in a conversation, we think, "Well, this is the time to say that because it reminded me of this." I will go to Baha'i meetings where one Baha'i will say something, and it will remind the next four Baha'is of something, and they say, "Well, it's time to say that." And so it reminds the next Baha'i of something, and they say, "It's time to say that." And it reminds the next Baha'i, "It's time to say that." And we have a huge circle of timely utterances, and we have the non-Baha'i who is sitting here and doesn't have a clue because it's not according to their capacity. Because everybody thinks that timeliness is the important qualification for when and what to say. And `Abdu'l-Bahá says this is not the criteria. The criteria is the capacity of the person who hears it. Their time. The utterances are a waste of time. You know what is the most timely utterance? It's the words, "I told you so." "I told you so." Is that every time a situation occurs and you say, "I told you so"? I assure you, it's not according to the capacity of the person. Nobody has the capacity to bear those words. "I told you so." They are the epitome of a timely utterance. And so `Abdu'l-Bahá is saying the only thing that one needs to consider when one teaches is the capacity of the person.
Now, how are you gonna know the capacity of the person when you're teaching if you don't do the first step, which is to get your fill? If you don't first listen to the person, how are you possibly going to obey this teaching about `Abdu'l-Bahá? So that's why Bahá'u'lláh said this is the first thing you have to do. You have to listen to the person, otherwise you cannot obey these finer teachings. Now, when you utter something beyond someone's capacity, you may think, "Well, I'm not doing any harm." But Bahá'u'lláh makes a very scary statement. You thought that "Beware lest you deal unkindly with people." Scary? No, this is the scariest statement in the entire Baha'i Revelation, in my opinion. I'm scared to death. I don't even want to read it to you. So I want you all to brace yourselves. Gonna, I'm gonna read you a statement from Bahá'u'lláh that's gonna scare you. He says, "Moderation is indeed highly desirable." He's talking about teaching, and He's talking about this quality of teaching according to someone's capacity. He says, "Moderation is indeed highly desirable. Every person who in some degree turneth towards the truth can himself later comprehend most of what he seeketh. However, if at the outset a word is uttered beyond his capacity, he will refuse to hear it and will arise in opposition." And I'm saying, "Oh my goodness, are you telling me that if I disobey this law of speaking beyond their capacity, I can not just not bring them to the Faith, but turn them against the Faith?" And that's what Bahá'u'lláh was saying. He says, "If at the outset a word is uttered beyond his capacity, he will refuse to hear it and will arise in opposition." And God forbid that any of us would be the cause of causing someone to turn from the Faith by not obeying this.
And when I think about this, there's one experience I remember in my life. You know, when I was growing up in California, I had a very close relationship with my father. I loved my father. And I spent so much time with him, and I had a relationship that very few children had with their father. And when I was nine years old, my mother learned of the Baha'i Faith and soon became a Baha'i. And my father was also greatly attracted to the Baha'i Faith. And my two sisters became Baha'is very early. And I said to myself, "As soon as my father becomes a Baha'i, of course I will too." Because that was the way we did it, you know, the two of us. And my father was on the path to becoming a Baha'i. And even my mother was having firesides at our house. And in the 1960s, in this country, there was a big problem with communism and anti-communism and so on. And my father had experienced this firsthand, because many of his closest friends in Hollywood had lost their jobs and were blacklisted and were destitute because of this political issue that was completely dividing the country. Finally, it led to a war in Vietnam that was also dividing the country. It was a terribly divisive political issue. And my father was at a Baha'i fireside in our house, and one of the speakers, the Baha'i speakers, made aggressive reference to "godless communism." And my father hit the roof. And he left the room, and he went upstairs, and he said to my mother, "How can he possibly say that? How does he know that they don't believe in God in Russia and so on?" And he was basically turned off the Faith. And this is very interesting when you think about it, because first of all, the speaker wasn't even correct. Shoghi Effendi condemned capitalism and communism equally. They were both irreligious. So it wasn't even a correct statement. But even more so, he was engaging in political speech. And `Abdu'l-Bahá said to avoid politics like the plague. And this was the number one political issue at the time. So the Baha'i was misstating a teaching and engaging in politics, and it turned my father against the Faith.
So soon thereafter, we left, and we went to the country of Ceylon, which is now called Sri Lanka. And when we got there, various things happened. But the first thing that happened when I arrived is that everybody was yelling and screaming at me, a 15-year-old from America, because of communism, because America was fighting a war in Southeast Asia and bombing Cambodia and Laos and Vietnam. And they were all on the other side. They were Southeast Asians. They were yelling. And so I became engulfed also in this issue. I wasn't in favor of the war, and everything, but I had to bear the brunt of this issue. And soon thereafter, a war started in the very country we're in, in Ceylon. And my mother and family and everyone left. And I remained with my father. And because we were Americans, they put us in jail. We ended up in prison. I was in prison at the age of 15, and my father was. And I remained in prison for some three weeks. And finally, when they released us, they sent me to Australia. And when I got to Australia, I met the Baha'is there. The Baha'is so loving and so encouraging and helping my mother, that within just a few days, I declared and became a Baha'i. And this experience, as traumatic as it was, enabled me to recognize the truth of Bahá'u'lláh. And as soon as I did this, I realized the same would be for my father. And I said to myself, "As soon as my father gets out of prison, I will tell him, 'Daddy, the Baha'i Faith is true. `Abdu'l-Bahá is the Manifestation of God.'" And I was quite sure that he would also become a Baha'i because he would accept this, because I felt I had this relationship. But I never said that to my father, because we waited for nine months. And after nine months, the ambassador, the American ambassador from Ceylon, sent us a telegram saying that the Ceylon government had dumped the dead body of my father onto their doorstep. And so he passed away, and he never got to hear this thing that I would have told my father. And so I have had to think for the last 30 years, what it is like that we can turn people against the Faith who are on a path towards the Faith, and how the Faith could have comforted him those nine months in prison while he was there. And I know that God is looking after him and loving him. But to me, it's a very important principle in Bahá'u'lláh says that you can utter something beyond someone's capacity that will cause him to turn from the Faith. We need to be so sympathetic and so loving and so listening and so finding the beauty inside people that we would never dare utter a word beyond their capacity. In fact, Shoghi Effendi said in one of his passages about this subject that spiritual digestion is exactly the same as physical digestion. He said there's a parallel. And he says, when you give food that's too much or too rich to someone, he says it only causes mal-assimilation and rejection. Most of the
Exact words, malice, emulation, rejection. Those are big, fancy words for basically saying they'll throw up the malleus simulation under rejected. And he says that this happens physically, it happens spiritually.
And sometimes we don't understand this principle of teaching with wisdom. It doesn't mean that you don't say things. It means that you're very carefully listening to the person.
Now, how much time do I have? 25 minutes. Okay, so I'm not going to be able to finish this today, but I'll go for 25 minutes. And then the whole afternoon session at 4:15, I'm going to continue on this because we want to understand what all these things mean. But let's just continue on.
There's another thing that Abdu'l-Bahá did. I'll tell you a story and then we'll figure out what it is he did. Okay, I'll just tell you a story. It so happened that when Abdu'l-Bahá visited America in 1912, there were some Americans that didn't like taxes. They didn't like taxes. I mean, it's hard to believe. Is there anybody today that doesn't like taxes? Okay, but apparently this was a big issue.
And there was a movement. It was a philosophic, economic movement founded by a man by the name of Henry George. And the followers of Henry George believed that there should be no taxes at all, except a single tax on the profits from the sale of land. There should be no sales tax, no income tax, no other form of tax. And they were called single taxers. And there was quite a large movement. You can look it up in history.
And it so happens that a follower of Henry George's single tax movement came to a meeting with Abdu'l-Bahá. And at the end of the meeting, this person said to him, he said, "What message shall I take back to my friends?" And Abdu'l-Bahá said, "Tell them to come to the Kingdom of God. There they will find plenty of land, and there are no taxes on it."
Now, you're all laughing. And in fact, when I read this, this was listed as an example of Abdu'l-Bahá's sense of humor. But it's really not his sense of humor. It's, of course, funny, but it illustrates a very important principle, a technique that Abdu'l-Bahá used with everyone. And that's that he built a bridge. He built a bridge with every person he met.
What did he do? He knew this person's sensitivities. This person didn't like taxes. So he says, "We'll come to the Kingdom of God. We've got all the land, and there are no taxes on it." Because he knows that this is something the person likes, he's able to find a bridge for that person.
How hard is it to do? As long as you listen to the person, you can find their bridge. I mean, if they like bread and butter, they come to the, you know, bread of the Kingdom and butter it with God. Or somebody doesn't. I mean, how hard is it? How hard is it really to do this? All you need to do is listen and love the person, find the beauty inside them, and then look for the bridge.
Abdu'l-Bahá built bridges with people. This is why he listened to people. This is why he listened to people. In fact, Shoghi Effendi described Abdu'l-Bahá's early teaching methods. He said, "Wakeful and attentive in his early intercourse." That was one of the terms that Shoghi Effendi described. He said, "In his early intercourse with people, he was wakeful and attentive."
And when Shoghi Effendi described it, for some reason, it reminded me of a cat. Because have you ever seen a cat when they first see their prey? Receive their look in their eyes? We're just walking around, you know what they do? And they are so wakeful and attentive. And they're watching you. Notice they don't immediately pounce. So my cat will watch for hours like that, observing with the eyes.
And this is what I get the impression of when Shoghi Effendi said Abdu'l-Bahá was wakeful and attentive in his early intercourse. And when Baháʼu'lláh says he listens very carefully to the person, I think Abdu'l-Bahá is like a cat. Because he's first looking at that person, listening to them. But now I know what's going on. He's saying, "Where's the bridge? I'm looking for that bridge." He's just looking at the bridge. That's why the person felt he was teaching Abdu'l-Bahá. Because he was teaching Abdu'l-Bahá. He was teaching Abdu'l-Bahá what his bridge is. And Abdu'l-Bahá was trying to learn it.
So once we realize that this is Abdu'l-Bahá's method, then we can play a game called "Find the Bridge." When we're reading any story of Abdu'l-Bahá, and before we get to the bridge in the story, we can maybe guess it. See if we can guess it at the same time Abdu'l-Bahá did. So you want to play the game, "Find the Bridge"? Let's play "Find the Bridge."
Now, I'm going to read a story. It's in one of the Ruhi books. So many of you will know the story. So you're not allowed to guess the bridge because you know the bridge. But those of you that don't know the story, let's go ahead and see if we can spot the bridge.
It says here that there was a Christian merchant in Acre who, like many of the citizens of Acre, had no respect for the Bábís. And it also happened that one of the Bábís was able to go out of Acre and buy some charcoal that was a very high grade. And charcoal in those days was extremely valuable because in a time when you had no electric stoves or any other form of cooking, charcoal enabled you to boil rice and do things that you couldn't do with wood and so on. So charcoal was an extremely valuable thing. And the grade of charcoal makes a big difference. And this Bábí got some really good charcoal.
And it says here, there was a Christian merchant who found that the Bábí had some good charcoal. So they just took it from the Bábí. Just took it. Because that's what they did, you know. Bábís were just free to take things from. And Abdu'l-Bahá decided to go and demand for the return of the charcoal because that's what Abdu'l-Bahá does. He was the champion of justice for the Bábís.
So it says Abdu'l-Bahá went to the place of this merchant and he sat there and waited. And he waited and he waited for more than three hours. People came and went and nobody paid any attention to Abdu'l-Bahá. But he just sat there. It says, "There were many people about in that office bent on their trade. They took no notice about Abdu'l-Bahá." He sat. He waited. Three hours passed before the merchant finally came to him and said, "Are you one of the prisoners in this town?" Abdu'l-Bahá said, "Yes." And he said, "What was the crime for which you were imprisoned?"
Okay, who can guess the bridge? Can you? One guess? The bridge? But did you have you know the story? Okay, then you didn't guess the bridge.
Abdu'l-Bahá said, "The same crime for which Christ was indicted." The merchant was taken aback. He was a Christian, you see. A Christian in Palestine in those days was quite unusual. And Abdu'l-Bahá said, "The same crime." And so he says, "What could you possibly know of Christ?" So Abdu'l-Bahá very calmly and patiently explained him his belief in Christ.
It says here, "The arrogance of the merchant was confronted by the patience of Abdu'l-Bahá." And finally, when Abdu'l-Bahá rose to go, the merchant also rose and walked with him into the street, betokening his respect for the man. One of the two tested prisoners. And from then on, he was a friend, even a stout supporter of the Bábís.
Now, this is very interesting because Abdu'l-Bahá knew that he was a Christian. And yet Abdu'l-Bahá got it so that the man asked him the question. The man got it out of him. The man said, "What is the crime for which you're committed?" You know, "Same crime for which Jesus..." Yeah, he just threw in the Jesus. He didn't come and say, "I believe in Jesus. Use charcoal thief. Now give me back this." You know, he was quite clever the way he got it, wouldn't you agree?
But he was clearly aware of the bridge. And so when the conversation went a certain way, he just kind of said, "The same crime for..." The man asked him the question. He got the man to build the bridge. Isn't that clever? And so, but he just dropped in the old Jesus Christ there. And then the man said, "Well, what could you know?" And then Abdu'l-Bahá just, after the man thought he was controlling the conversation. And in the end, this man became a supporter. He didn't go and say, "You thief, you charcoal-stealing, you know, merchant that hates the Bábís." No. He went and mentioned Jesus because he built a bridge.
How hard is this to do? All you need to do is be sensitive. So the point is, is that anytime you teach someone, the first thing you need to do when you're listening is you're trying to find the B.O.B. And of course, what does B.O.B. stand for? Build a bridge. The B.O.B. stands for build a bridge. That's why Abdu'l-Bahá is listening so intently and so carefully at the outset. That's why he's wakeful and attentive in his early intercourse, because he's looking for the bridge. Would you agree with that?
Is there anything else we don't know yet in this? Oh, you gotta be bad. You've got to be bad. Okay. We say we do. You want to talk about this? You want to talk about bad? Abdu'l-Bahá says, "How much time do I have?" I'm sorry. Oh, we have time to be bad. We're gonna be bad.
Okay. Abdu'l-Bahá said that when someone teaches, one must be like a physician. He says, "First, diagnose the disease and identify the malady, then prescribe the remedy." For such is the method of a skillful physician. And basically, he's talking about how when you teach, you must first figure out what's wrong with the patient. And then, just like a doctor, you need to diagnose.
Now, if you went to a doctor and before you told them what was wrong with you, they immediately were giving you medication, how good a doctor would you think that is? Or if you went to a doctor, they gave you medication, and then you find out that every other patient, no matter what illness they had, they gave them exactly the same medication. Okay. And yet, how often do we do this? When someone says, "You know, what is the Baha'i Faith?" And immediately we're prescribing the medication. Or maybe we give the same medication to every single person we see. And Abdu'l-Bahá says, "No, you must first diagnose."
Doctors have very specific qualities. And the first quality of a doctor is that they need to listen to the patient. They need to not just listen to the patient, they need to ask questions of the patient because the patient may not even be able to express. The doctor needs to get it out of the patient in various techniques. Now, a doctor first needs to listen. Then they need to be able to identify what's wrong with the patient. And then they need to know what it is that cures. Said these are essential qualities of a doctor. If you go and study medicine, you have to know. Anyone here a doctor? Yes? Is that not true? You have to have these qualities. You have to listen to the patient. You have to be able to figure out, diagnose what's wrong. And you have to know what it is to cure them.
It reminds me of the story of the man whose horse was sick. There was a farmer who had a sick horse. And he went next door to the farmer. It was Farmer Jones. And he went and he went to Farmer Brown. And he said, "Remember when your horse got the worms? What did you give him?" He says, "Well, I gave him castor oil, a half a quart a day for two weeks." He says, "Well, thank you very much." Goes back. He gives his horse a half a quart of castor oil every day for two weeks. And at the end of the two weeks, his horse dies. And so he goes next door. And he says, "You know, I gave my horse a half a quart of castor oil every day for two weeks, and my horse died." "Really?" "So did mine."
So to be a skillful physician, one needs to be able to diagnose what's wrong and also to prescribe the right remedy. And this is what Abdu'l-Bahá is talking about. So if you want to teach, if you want to teach, you have to have this quality of a doctor. This is one of the attributes of the how of the Manifestation of God. He says, "God has his finger on the pulse of humanity. He first diagnoses."
So if you want to teach, you have to be B.A.D. What does B.A.D. stand for? The doctor. Be a doctor. You have to say these things over and over again to yourself. First, I listen and love that person. Second, find the beauty inside the person. The B.A.D. Next, have the right DNA. Do not argue or resist anything. We have to figure out how we can change their point of view. We're going to talk about that in a minute. For B.A.D., that's absolutely essential. We have to be a doctor. Can you be a doctor without first listening? No.
Next, we have to find the B.O.B. We have to build a bridge. And if we do those first five things, then finally, we're able to speak. Finally. Without. Why do you think I put talk last? I put it last because it's the last thing you have to do. These other first five first. Then finally, when you talk. Okay, now you're allowed to talk. But you must talk like hell. You must talk with humility, extreme kindness, lowliness, and love.
So these are just some of the basic things about Abdu'l-Bahá that I found. But there are many other stories. And I want to share them with you now. And many other attributes of Abdu'l-Bahá. The first thing made me very upset when I first read it. Because in the book, "Memories of Nine Years in Acre" by Dr. Esslemont, he said that Abdu'l-Bahá's manner of speaking was pleasant and delightful, especially when it came to humor. And I said, "His anecdotes left such an effect on the hearts of the listeners that they were beside themselves with delight, especially when he told a story to illustrate a point." And however commonplace such a story might be, his manner of presentation was such that it seemed as if a sublime and holy tablet was being revealed. This is why stories told by Abdu'l-Bahá cannot have the same effect when repeated by anyone.
And I was very sad when I first read this. It's basically saying, "You had to be there." He said, you know, if you just tell what Abdu'l-Bahá did and said, it doesn't have the effect. You had to have been there. And so I was very sad when I first read that. And then I realized, no, it's not really that sad. Because all he's really saying is, it's not what you say, it's the way that you say it. And that Abdu'l-Bahá had a way of saying things that transcended even the word. So the written account does not convey it.
He said that Abdu'l-Bahá often told stories to illustrate a point. And this was interesting because I found over and over again in all my studies of Abdu'l-Bahá that he taught with analogy. He constantly taught with analogy. It was so interesting to me that this was Abdu'l-Bahá's method. He was so quick to find a way to convey truth by analogy.
And I remember a very interesting thing. Abdu'l-Bahá had to comfort two parents who lost a child. I can't think of anything more devastating, more painful than parents that see the passing of their young child. And yet Abdu'l-Bahá had to comfort them. And he wrote a letter to them. He said, "O ye two patient souls, your letter was received. The death of that beloved youth and his separation from you have caused the utmost sorrow and grief."
And so I'm thinking, how is Abdu'l-Bahá going to comfort them? And he says this. He says, "The inscrutable divine wisdom under life such heart-rendering occurrences. It is as if a kind gardener transfers a fresh and tender shrub from a confined place to a wide-open area. This transfer is not the cause of the withering, the lessening, or the destruction of that shrub. Nay, on the contrary, it maketh it to grow and thrive, acquire freshness and delicacy, become green and bear fruit. This hidden secret is well known to the gardener. But those souls who are unaware of this bounty suppose that the gardener in his anger and wrath hath uprooted the shrub. Yet to those who are aware, this concealed fact is manifest, and this predestined decree is considered a bounty. Do not feel grieved or disconsolate, therefore, at the Ascension of that bird of faithfulness."
There's not a beautiful way to comfort a parent? He told them a story in analogy about taking a plant and the gardener transplants it from a confined area to an area where it can grow and thrive. And here then the truth, they see in the analogy, and they can apply it to themselves. But if Abdu'l-Bahá had written, "You two parents who lost your son, get over it. It's the will of God," or something like that, directly, the truth could not be borne. Because Abdu'l-Bahá realized that sometimes truth has to be isolated from directly threatening a person. You isolate truth and you explain it over here. Then they can see the truth and apply it to themselves. This is the power of analogy. This is what Baháʼu'lláh means by "see things from another point of view." In other words, don't be threatening to the person.
Now, Abdu'l-Bahá was very quick to analogy. For example, when he wanted to talk about the equality of men and women, he said, "Two wings of a bird." Two wings of a bird. Five syllables. And yet every Baha'i will mention those anytime they talk about equality of men and women. It says more than a paragraph. It says more than pages or even books. Just those five words. Because it has such power. And it's also separating the truth into another area. If I talk to a man and say, "You need to be nicer to your wife," or "You need to employ more women," or "You need..." It's too threatening. Rather, I explain the truth over here. They see the truth. They can apply it to themselves.
We heard the story of Abdu'l-Bahá when he was with the children. And he takes a piece of chocolate. He holds it up against the black child's face. And he smiles. He doesn't have to say anything more. I found over and over again that Abdu'l-Bahá used analogy because it enabled people to see truth for themselves and then apply it, rather than him telling them the truth.
I first learned this principle when I was quite a young parent. And I read about a woman working in France during World War I, looking after orphans. And there were so many war orphans, more than had ever occurred in history. And she said she found that if you went to a child and said, "Your parents have died, and now you have to go and live in an orphanage," that they would become traumatized and sometimes remain traumatized for life. And then she discovered that if you went to a child and said a story about other children, some other children whose parents died, and then they went living in an orphanage, and then they were adopted and lived happily ever after. But the child said, "Oh, is that what happened to me as well?" And she said, "This is interesting because it was exactly the same information. But one was presented threatening to the person, and one was presented over here." And the child could make the transfer of the truth. And such a simple thing, she said, had such a profound effect.
So when I read this, I decided that with my children, perhaps I would never tell them anything they did wrong, but rather I'd tell them a story about somebody else that did the same wrong thing that they did. And so every night when my children were very young, I told them stories. And it so happened, it was always about turtles. Every night we had stories about turtles. And it just so happened that whatever they did wrong that day, the turtles happened to do the same wrong thing, you know, in their stories. And you know, they always liked this story. And I know, I felt it was working.
And so on. And I have one daughter. I'm not going to mention any names, but her initials are Juliet. And she, she, she was particularly defiant. She is very strong-willed and extremely intelligent. And I came home one day, and she was about three years old, three or four maximum, about three years old. And she was crying uncontrollably. You saw the tears dripping down onto the floor. And she was like this, in silence. And she was red-faced and crying. And I knew that she had done something wrong, had been scolded by her mother. And so I said, "What's wrong, Juliet?" Said, "What's wrong?" And she wouldn't say no because, you know, she was so mad. I said, "Come on, what's wrong? What happened?" And I found out later what she did. And what she did, we had this big yogurt maker that made a whole lot of yogurt. And she wouldn't got it. Took it into the bathroom and poured all the yogurt into the bathtub. And then took a yogurt bath.
Anyway. So, so anyway. So I said, I said, "What's wrong, Juliet?" And she wouldn't answer. Okay. Never mind. So I walked out. And as I was walking out, near the door, she said, "Tell me about the turtles who took a yogurt bath." And I was, I was shocked. I was shocked because she was only about three. I didn't even know that she understood that this was the game. I didn't realize that she got this. But the point is, she wanted to talk about it. But she didn't want to talk about her doing it. She wanted to talk about the turtles doing it. She wanted truth to be non-threatening. But she still wanted to talk about it. So isn't that interesting?
And this is how Abdu'l-Bahá. This is how Abdu'l-Bahá did it. And so once I realized that this is a powerful principle, I said, "Well, thank you, Abdu'l-Bahá. You have shown us how to teach and let people see the truth from another point of view without being threatening, which is what Baháʼu'lláh said you need to do." And so I try to memorize every analogy that Abdu'l-Bahá has ever given. And I write them down. And I have a book of analogies. And every time I find an analogy, I say, "Oh, good one, Abdu'l-Bahá." I write it down. And you can tell in the talks that I've given here at the school that I try to use analogy as much as possible because I find it's a way of conveying truth that speaks to people in a completely different way. And this is obviously why the Manifestations of God also use analogy quite a bit.
But every now and then, I want to convey something, and I can't find an analogy in the writings. And I can't keep using turtles. I can't find analogies. And I had a particular problem a couple of weeks ago. I had to give a talk in Los Angeles to a group of boys on the subject of homosexuality. I was asked to give the talk. And there were many Baha'is there who were concerned with this issue. They were going through problems with it. And others had family and friends and so on. And I knew immediately that I was not going to go and be threatening to anybody because we need to only convince people that we love them and nothing more. And yet I wanted to be true to the Baha'i teachings. But I did not want to be threatening.
And so as I thought about this, I thought, well, I have to do what Abdu'l-Bahá did. I have to take the truth away from them and lay the truth over here in an analogy. And I couldn't find any analogies for this particular issue in Abdu'l-Bahá's writings. So I thought about it. And finally, I came up with a notion. Because I thought, well, basically, what we're talking about here is that perhaps the Manifestation of God knows something more than we know. Something a little more right than we know. And even though from our point of view, it may appear that this is right, perhaps he knows more.
And so then I came up with this analogy. I said, "Imagine you're backing a truck out of a driveway, and maybe you have no rearview mirrors. So what do you do?" And I said, "You put somebody outside, and they stand out there, and then they say, 'Okay, back a little to the left, a little to the right,' and so on." And you accept what they say and just do it because you know that from their frame of reference, they can see things that you can't see. And you accept this because you realize that from where you are and from where they are, it's quite different.
I said, "The Manifestation of God is like this." It says in the Tablet of Off My, "There's a nightingale of paradise. Where is he singing? He's on the twigs of the Tree of Eternity." That's some serious tree and twigs, okay? So he's standing over there, and we're backing out the truck in the driveway of life. And that little nightingale with his wings is saying this. And so unlike that. And so basically, we accept this because we realize that there are other points of view that maybe we can't see from where we stand. And maybe later on, we'll see it.
So I told this, and it took like a minute in the talk. And I spoke for over an hour. At the end of the talk, several people said, "The thing I liked the best, the only thing I liked was that backing the truck out of the driveway." And at first, I was a little offended because I spoke for 59 other minutes, and they didn't like that, and they liked this one analogy. And then I said, "Thank you, Abdu'l-Bahá. Thank you, Abdu'l-Bahá, for showing me how to not be threatening and how to convey truth in a manner." And this is one of Abdu'l-Bahá's methods. And there are many more.
But we have to wait now till this afternoon, is that right? What time is it right now? It's time to stuff. So thank you all very much. We'll see you.