Attraction Ladder Explanation w/ Jared

Hey everyone, this is Jared Syy Lawrence here, uh, founder of modern flirting.com. And for this call, this is a way, way overdue call, actually. Uh, I'm going to be talking to you guys about my attraction letter, uh, step by step, rung by rung, how to move things forward, uh, with the girl that you're interested in, in a way that is effective, is a way that she would like, and, and she, you know, will make her, uh, thankful for. And it's just overall best practices to ensure that, you know, what you're doing out there. You know, we're not just floundering around hoping for the best. Uh, it's very, you know, structured, organized, and easily to understand.

Now, when, when I'm talking about the attraction ladder, this is not a method. I don't believe in methods. I don't believe in, uh, manipulation tactics or, you know, deceptive techniques in order to try and get a girl to do something she doesn't want to do, right? That's not what this is. What this is, is basically an attraction etiquette, I guess you could call it. The, the attraction ladder just comes down from looking at thousands upon thousands of approaches, of interactions that I've had with women over the years and realizing that, you know, some, you know, some don't go well and some do. And for the ones that do, a very obvious pattern emerges. And when we look at this pattern to see how it's supposed to happen, right, then we realize we can, we can break it down in ways that any guy can understand. And when we break it down in those ways, we then understand that every single rung, every part of the attraction ladder, is a skill set that can be learned. It's a teachable and learnable skill.

So when guys started coming to me for help, from mentoring, uh, and say, you know what, I want to be better with women. I want to be able to build attraction. I want to lead things forward in a way that's not just strictly platonic or, you know, whatever. You know, you know, whatever, then you need to, to lead. You need to know where you're going. And that's what the attraction ladder really does. Uh, I've seen people bastardize this. I've seen people pick and choose what they want to follow. Uh, I've seen people, you know, not really understand it at all or, or not take the time to, or maybe just get a vague idea but not really get the full meaning of it. If you're going to do this, and you're going to follow what's being taught here at modern flirting, and you want to move things forward with a girl in a way that, again, that works, is something she responds to, it's something she likes, uh, that creates desire within the girl, and that's also done in a way that's ethical and doesn't actually, um, you know, try to use any kind of trickery or get her to do something she's not, then you need to study this in its entirety. You need to fully understand how this all works.

The other cool thing about the attraction ladder is that, yes, we can use it for cold approach. We can use it to go out and just meet, you know, go meet a girl, uh, off the street or in a bar, you know, wherever. But by learning the, the skills behind each rung of the attraction ladder, there is a secret benefit that goes on as well. And that is, you're learning all the best skill sets that will help you, uh, with social circle, with your lifestyle, with building up having women around you that are interested in you, who think highly of you, who are, you know, just around in your everyday-to-day life. You can use the attraction ladder when, if you know anyone who mastered all the rungs of the attraction ladder, I have no problem introducing them to a girl. I know one of my friends, because they're not going to weird her out. They're not going to be some creepy dude. Instead, they, you know, by using these techniques, by using these understandings, uh, you know, they can navigate, uh, any social situation that comes up, right? So that's kind of the, the one secret benefit of really mastering the attraction ladder. It sets you up for mastering and being better at social circle building later on.

For the guys who, who don't really follow the attraction ladder, or maybe they do go through the attraction ladder, but they use either other methods. You know, there's a lot of, uh, guys out there who promote being sexual, right, off the bat. There's guys who promote really high octane, high-risk stuff, or, or these techniques that try to make a girl feel better about herself or play off validation or, you know, whatever, right? And what they're doing is they're learning these, you know, these techniques. And if they try to incorporate them into my ladder, then it's not going to work. It, it doesn't go, you know, it just doesn't go together. Like, yes, you're talking, we're both talking about being playful or trying to build attraction. Yes, we're both starting, we're both talking about starting interaction. But it's very different use starting interactions the way that is taught here in modern flirting and in my book, you know, How to Meet Your Dream Girl Tonight. Uh, those ways that can get any conversation going, you know, create an icebreaker, start things off, is very different than starting a conversation with grabbing a girl by her arm, pulling her into you, and just yelling, "Who are you?" at her, right? It's, you, that kind of training, that kind of mentality, is not going to further your social skills in other areas, whether it's business networking or social circle.

So, just to sum up real quick before I go into the rungs, the attraction ladder is meant to be understood and learned in its entirety. You cannot be mixing this and matching it with other stuff out there because you'll get a bastardized version that will not work. It will not be effective. The attraction ladder is something that will set you up for bettering social skills in all situations, not just with cold approach. And also, the cool thing is that by, you know, by really diving in and learning, uh, you know, learning the rungs of the attraction ladder, we can very easily see where we're getting stuck, where the problem points come into play, and what we need to work on, uh, in ourselves. So I would say, if anybody doesn't understand now, before this call, I, you know, it's all written out in my book at modernflirting.com. So you can read it there. But obviously, I also want to have a call to explain the benefits and, and make sense of what exactly, uh, it is and what exactly it entails. So without further ado, let's get started. After this call, no one, anyone who listened to this call, no one should have any excuse of, "I don't know how to lead things forward. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to, you know, what, what the next step is." By the end of this call, that's, you know, that can no longer be an issue. There can no longer be an excuse.

Okay, so starting off, there's, there's 15 rungs of the ladder. Now, the first rung is the simplest and easiest to understand. It's start. Number one is start. Starting, just me. A starter is essentially, what is your justification for going up and talking to a girl? That's all it is. If you have no justification, then she will assume a justification. And that justification is, you're just hitting on her, lecherously hitting on her, you just want to get in her pants, whatever. Okay. We have different types of starters, from playful to situational to functional. You know, we can go into all those different types of starters. I've laid all out in my book, How to Meet Your Dream Girl Tonight. But essentially, we have to start things off. And when we start things off, or we, or we build up a, you know, we, we initiate a conversation from scratch, or we do anything from scratch with no prior, uh, perceptions of why this is going on, the key factor of a good starter is again, justification. It has to make sense. Why are you going up and talking to this girl? It doesn't have to be under, uh, false pretenses either. The idea, like, make it something. If you, so for instance, if I see a girl and I truly like something she's wearing, I'll use what's called a compliment starter. I'll compliment that thing, and it's genuine, right? Uh, if, if I truly want about something and I'm being curious about something, you know, today, or I'm just wondering, I'll get her opinion on something. I like it to be sincere and, and genuine as well. Uh, for guys starting off, obviously, you can have pre-scripted starters, something just in your back pocket to get going. But when you get advanced, it's not about lines, you know, like these starter lines. It's just understanding what works with the situation and the principles behind it, so you could do it anytime, uh, anywhere, and you really have no excuse why you can't just go up and start a conversation with a girl, or with anybody, really. Okay? It's, it's the same, the same kind of principles. Starters are not meant to be pickup lines. They're not meant to be, uh, things that, you know, try to build up attraction with the girl. They're not meant to be something that sweeps a girl off her feet, right? Then there, it's just a way of saying hello that doesn't make her think, "Oh God, this guy's just trying to get my pants." It's okay. There's a reason why we're talking.

Now, now that you've got your starter and you have a reason you're talking, now we move on to the second rung in the ladder, which is conversation. And this is a big key. I mean, conversation encompasses so many different things. Can we have it back and forth? Can we, uh, put words together in an artful way? Can we, uh, you know, state our opinions and tell stories? Can we not be all in our head, but be present and listen to what she's saying and have responses to what she's saying? Can we add to a conversation? Can we add different angles to a conversation, which means, you know, taking what's being said and looking it from a different, you know, perception and adding that perception to the conversation? And we have drills for this, right? Uh, you know, whether it's coming up with associations, opinions, transitioning from one topic to another. So conversation kind of blows up and goes all different types of ways. But the point of a good conversation is that we're establishing some commonalities. We're showing her that we, we think on the same wavelength. We're showing her that we have interesting things to talk about. And we, uh, we're showing her that we're interested in what she's about. And we're showing her that by engaging with us in the group, you know, with us, that it's not going to be this awkward, pulling teeth, I don't know what to say, I kind of feel to it. And a great thing to do about conversation with that kind of running the ladder is, if it's boring for you, it's probably boring for her. Conversation and vibing doesn't mean being boring. The conversation rung of the ladder means you are just able to freely communicate your thoughts. So for anyone listening to this right now, do a quick exercise. Just close your eyes in silence for just five seconds. Just let's just be quiet for five seconds. All right. During that silent time, guess what you were thinking? Your mind didn't shut off. You didn't just go blank. You had stuff going through your head. You're wondering about stuff. You're thinking about stuff. The problem usually is, it's all internal. You maybe thinking about you. And we're thinking of these high, you know, level things and analytical things about ourselves versus, you know, what am I actually curious about? What's going on around me? What's going on my senses? And getting externally focused. So we're always thinking. We always have a dialogue or something going on in our head. Good conversation means we're able to, to just get that out and, you know, talk, talk with a girl on stuff that we genuinely care about, we're interested in, we like, right? And also, we're looking at topics that a girl will be genuinely interested in and like. And the longer, the more girls we talk to and interact with, the more we realize some women respond to different things. And it's just, you know, sometimes we click, sometimes we don't. But the more, uh, cultured you get, the more you know about different things in life, the more you study stuff, the more you just have to talk about. But essentially, conversation, yes, there are tons of, uh, specific skill sets that we can get very nitty-gritty on the topic. But at the end of the day, it just comes down to just being animated and passionate about whatever it is that's on your mind and being able to free flow back and forth with the girl without overly censoring yourself, without, uh, filtering too much. You know, and granted, some things are uncalibrated and some things are just going to be weird said. But, you know, with experience and, uh, you know, seeing those back and forth, we, we, we can start mastering the, the conversation rung.

Now that we got that, we go something simpler. We started it. We're having a conversation. Uh, now, if assuming we're in a cold approach, or even not even social circle, honestly, the third rung of the ladder is positioning. So this is completely non-verbal. We're conversing with the, the girl, or, and or the group. Now we need to use our physical structures, the physical area we have with our body, and where do we place ourselves? If I'm behind a girl's back, I'm in a very bad position. Then if I have my back to something else and I have women around me, or I'm just in a position that naturally draws attention to me. So when we talk about the positioning rung of the ladder, it means we are taking a position that, by doing nothing, not from no talking or anything on our own, we're in a position that draws attention to us, helps gives us the spotlight, and also demonstrates that we are comfortable within the group. So the easiest way to think about that is leading against the bar, back to the bar, with three women in a V-shaped circle around us, right? Or positioning would be, if everyone's sitting down, we're sitting down too, because we're comfortable, right? So that's what we're looking for. We might want to make sure we're in the center of things. And for a lot of guys, it's scary. You know, it's, it's kind of tough, uh, or it's kind of scary going into a place for positioning, uh, where, you know, we want, we want to be in there, but at the same time, uh, we maybe we're worried about our conversation skills or other things. So we kind of stay on the outskirts, right? However, it is pretty easy to get to positioning. A lot of it comes down to justification again. We just have to find reasonings to make an opening, make a spot. We need to make sure, sure that we're not intrusive and taking the spot from someone. We're giving up that psychological space, and then we obviously have to move in and take this, take the spot. I call it the three-throw, uh, position, all right? We got to move something out, or move something away. We have to then release psychological ownership of the space, and then we have to move in and, and again, most of these things, most of these rungs, there's an entire call on, there's a whole call on conversation, called Vibing, in my, in my group. Uh, there's another one on transitioning, which is a specific point of conversation. There's a whole call just on positioning itself. There, there's no point in going through, you know, all in depth on these things because I could, I, I've done it already. I just want to show you guys how they flow together.

So we start, uh, we, we start interaction. We begin conversation, uh, with the girl and the group. We then make sure we're getting the right kind of positioning. From here, we then do rungs four and five simultaneously. The fourth rung of the ladder is peer approval. The fifth rung of the ladder is positive emotional stimulus. They happen at the same time. They have to. You can't just focus on one or the other. The reason I put peer approval first is because of the priority. Most guys, when they're talking to a group of girls, and there is a girl that they like, they get tunnel vision. They just go for the girl they want, and they say, "Screw all else," and they just try to head on her and go nuts, you know, try to make her laugh and being witty and all that stuff, right? So I say, you know what, if you have to pick one, let's focus more on the peer approval. Now, what peer approval just means, really, in a nutshell, is you're likable. You're, it's, it's charisma. When you've mastered peer approval, rung of the ladder, number four, it just means you're a charismatic guy. You're getting these peers to approve of you. You're using state pumps. You're able to figure out what kind of person you are and add value to the, to the interaction. You're showing them that you're a great guy. You're, you know, you're doing things with peer approval. Uh, you're setting up frames that show that there's a friendship going on here. It's a lot of building rapport with peer approval, and you're doing it with the peers of your crush, of the girls that you like. So, and also with peer approval, another skill set of it is, you've got to be good at handling groups. You know, most people, they're scared. A lot of guys are scared of going up and handling, uh, you know, groups of people. They'd rather one-on-one with a girl. The irony, though, is that it's easier to manage a large group of girls. It's really easier to manage a large group than it is to do one-on-one conversation because there's more to work with. Girls are saying more, they're talking more, they're wearing different stuff. It just gives you a lot more to work with overall. So the peer approval, we know how to, uh, you know, we have the spotlight from positioning. We know how to take control of this group, taking that spotlight, how to be the center of attention, but also how to pass the ball. We don't want to be obnoxious, and we understand how to be likable, charismatic, and get our friends looking at us as this is a great guy. It also prevents girls, you know, blocking you. It also makes sure that, you know, they're, they're cheerleaders. They want, you know, they want, they see you as a great guy that they want to set their friend up with. All right, that's the art of peer approval.

So simultaneously, we're doing PES, and PES is positive emotional stimulus. It just means we see our crush, and we're giving her a range of positive emotions. And there's so many different ways of doing it, you know, and again, all these are covered in different talks. But whether it's role plays, whether it's exaggeration or different types of humor, whether it's intrigue, whether it's shocking, uh, whether it's just displaying very attractive attributes, etc., etc., right? There's a lot of ways to pump a girl with positive emotions. And when we're stimulating her, the whole reason we're doing it is we're getting her in a very nice, receptive state, a receptive state of mind where she's enjoying our presence. That's really what it comes down to. Are you someone who's fun? Are you someone who's boring her ass off and just talking about nonsense? Or are you someone who is giving her a great time? Who is, uh, giving her that emotional roller coaster? Are you somebody who is challenging her? And, you know, like, we're stimulating the emotions. It's not just blah. And when we take the conversation rung, number two, and we add it with number five, PES, we get what I call playful vibing, where it's not just all playful, dancing monkey, weird stuff, and it's not all just boring, blah, vibing conversation. Okay? So it's, it's kind of like a back and forth thing. So there's, so number, uh, number five is PES. And keep in mind, guys, the attraction ladder is there as a step-by-step guide of like, what, like, of it's a best practice. As you get better, then you realize you can kind of do what you want, when you want, at, you know, when you see opportunities for it, because there's no like ultimate right and wrong. It just comes down to, here's what the situation calls for, here's what's needed. So a great example of that is, yes, PES is the fifth rung of the ladder, but sometimes my starters, the first rung, I'm going to do PES. I'm going to, in fact, I personally enjoy that. I like to start things off very playful and silly. That's my personality type. That's just kind of the way I am, right? So yes, while PES is the fifth rung of the ladder, I could do it right from the starter, okay? There's no like that you have to wait or whatnot. It's more the idea of, here's where the priority flows. Here's where, if it hasn't been established yet, here's where it needs to start, uh, taking place. Now, okay, so that's the fifth rung.

Now that we're managing the group, we're positioned, we are winning over the peers' approval, we are having great back and forth conversation, we're giving our crush a range of positive emotions and stimulating her, everything's going great. What most guys do is they just ride this. They stop here and they don't take things further. They kind of get stuck, uh, by, and, you know, being an entertainer, doing, you know, working the group in this way. The next rung, the sixth rung in the ladder, is flirting. Trying to show that this is not a platonic thing. This is not just, we are having fun. There is something going on here. And flirting is defined as covertly showing interest in the girl. It is, you know, a good litmus test for flirting is, it's being playful in a way that you could not do with your sister. There are either sexual or dating or challenging or maybe even a punishment, uh, type frame attached to it. But flirting is now a shift from, "Yay, I'm talking to the group. We're all doing this big group activity. I'm having fun with the whole group." And flirting is more intimate. It's more, "I'm talking to a girl one-on-one," still within the group setting. The friends are around there, the group is around there. I can flirt around, um, you know, I, I can flirt while still within the group, and people can overhear it every now and then. But it's more now what I'm focusing on. Flirting, I'm more focusing on the crush, because I've already established with her that I'm a normal guy. Her friends like me. I, I can keep a conversation going. She's having a fun time. She's being playful with me. So now I can take PES and make things flirty, right? It's basically the same stuff, but it has those frames and undertones. And again, almost everyone in the ladder, flirting, uh, flirting as well, I break it down in depth in both previous group calls, as well as my master class. So it's all there, laid out for you. Uh, you know, you don't have to worry. But the flirting, the flirting element is more something you do within the group, but it's more that one-on-one kind of feel. And, uh, it's our way of of showing her that this is something's going on here, okay? We're not overtly showing interest, but we're showing her that something's, you know, there's some, there's a spark here, something's going on. Usually after we already kind of see that there's some interest in her, we're seeing that she, uh, uh, has some, yeah, has she's intrigued by us or has some interest in us. Now, as we flirt with her, she, she likes us, you know, with, with when flirting is done right, she's flirting back with us. We now know it's, it's covert, but we now know there's interest. We now know there's there's attraction that's going on. Well, we can't do stuff around our friends. We need to have that alone time. We need to move things forward again and build up more intimacy. And we can't do that within the group setting. So if things, if there's that vibe is going back and forth between you and her, now we get to the sixth rung, uh, the sixth rung of the ladder, which is freeing. We have to free the girl away from her friends. And free again uses the art of justifications. Freeing means just getting her alone with you, whether it's to go dancing, to grab a drink, or just to go check out something real quick, whatever it might be, okay? But it's important. We're, we're very, very limited. There's only so much I can do because you don't want to be escalating on a girl in front of her friends. You don't want to make her uncomfortable, sexual tension in front of her friends. You don't want to have any kind of deep talk with her in front of the group thing. That's not what it's for. The idea while in the group is to build up desire where she goes, "I really like this guy. I'm flirting with him. Now my night is about, or my day, or whatever, whenever you're meeting her, now it's about this guy because something's going on here." And when they feel that spark and you get that down right, she will want to free herself from her friends so she can get to know you more and and further that, further the vibe and the feeling that's going on here. And there's ways and and lots of different, uh, proper techniques in order to make that happen, order to get her, uh, get some alone time with her.

Now that she's freed from her friends, we get to the seventh rung of the ladder, which is connection building. You're, you're alone with her. It's one-on-one. We've already proven flirting, play, all this stuff. Now we need to get really to know her. This is, you know, it's just me and her at this point, or you and her at this point. Uh, this is a time to find who she is as a person, what makes you unique, what makes her special, and to open up about yourself. Like, I mean, maybe you guys, you know, maybe, yes, jokes aside, you guys suck together, right? You have nothing in common. You guys do not see eye to eye. You know, whatever. And that's okay. And honestly, that's totally fine. If you bring her back and you realize that she's not for you, but if, if the idea of the connection is to actually look around and, and really kind of pinpoint the sides of her that you are onto, and to really share and go deep into the side of yourself that you've elicited from her that she values, right? And, you know, connection is truly done properly when you are able to show the girl that you genuinely, uh, are interested in her, not women in general, not trying to get laid, whatever, but there's something about her. Connection is really defined as that idea of, "I choose you. I like you. Uh, there's something going on here that I truly like." Which, by the way, is meaningless if she doesn't like you, if she doesn't see the value in you, if she's not invested in you, if she is not, you know, seeing you as someone who she feels a spark with, then you try to do connection with her, you're just going to get a friend. Like, why, why does she care? The idea of the connection is, "I'm liking this guy, but a lot of guys are just desperate for me. There's just desperate interest. This guy is getting to know me, taking the time to go, you know, deep dive into things, and we're finding stuff that we truly can connect on and care about, right?" So it's that lovey-dovey feeling. And, uh, but it's, it's really cool to be able to separate ourselves from all the other guys who are constantly showing her desperate interest by showing her that genuine interest.

So now that we have the connection, and we're overtly showing interest in her, that's just understood, that's cared of, there's, there's an obvious connection, then the, you know, the next rung of the ladder, uh, I believe it is rung number eight, right? Is now, uh, you know, planning the date. We want, we want to be able to plan the date with her because, why not? We, we show we, we like her. She likes us. There's a flirty vibe going on. We obviously have a connection. The next central thing, the next rung, is to plan a date with her. What most guys do is they just try to get a number. Number. They just try to objectify her, not show her like she's a real person, and they're just like, "Let me get a trophy. Let me get a number. Cool. Done." The idea of planning a date means, "I want to see you again. We like each other. There's something going on here. I like you. Let's do something about this." All right? And there's right ways to do it, and there's wrong ways to do it. There's ways to plan dates that will get women to not want to hang out with you again, or, or they'll just agree, but they won't actually go on the date because the way to plan a date to make you seem needy and whatnot. So there, there's general good practices, and that's why it's its own skill set and its own rung to make sure that when you plan a date, the girl is looking forward to it, and it's something she's not going to flake on you with, right? So that's planning the date.

Now that you've planned the date, the next rung of the ladder that you know, we go on is sexual tension building. We want to build the sexual tension because we've done everything else up to this point to show that there's obviously a connection, there's obviously something going on here. We're moving on to the final vibe, which is sexual, and showing her that, hey, like, yes, uh, we, we're into each other, and we're flirty, and there's a lot of fun. But at the end of the day, there is, you know, I am a sexual being as well. That could be after the date. It could be when you plan the date. We go on the date. We, it's fine, uh, but that sexuality part, feeling, well, while you might exude sexuality in terms of your presence and masculine energy and all that stuff, sure, the time to really start pouring on, "Hey, there's a sexual element here. Let's build up tension here," is when she already feels that connection with you. Without that, now you're kind of doing the connection part of the service and showing that you're a desperate guy. So after we plan that date, it's now important to build sexual tension by getting extra close to her, by different types of eye contact, bringing up sexual, more sexual topics, you know, the kind of stuff that we would, you know, would feel gay to do with our buddies, or, you know, obviously we wouldn't do with a family member, right? So we have to start making sure she feels that sexual tension. Now, keep in mind, I'm not saying sexual escalation. Escalation is done throughout the entire, uh, process, the entire run of the ladder. If anything, sexual tension, a lot of times doesn't involve escalation. Sexual tension is the anticipation that escalation is about to occur. Something's, something sexual. Sexual tension is the anticipation or, or feeling that something sexual is about to happen, which increases desire and, you know, makes women go crazy because they're, they just, they can't wait. Guys, ruin most guys ruin sexual tension nonstop. They actually, they shoot in the foot. They destroy it because all they do is escalate. Gimme, gimme, gimme. They just try to move things as fast as possible, and they, they ruin things. And I'm, I've been guilty of this myself, you know, I think everybody is, to an extent. No one's perfect, obviously. But when you look at all the ones that are super successful, it's always, you know, really does go down this kind of track record.

So now that we have the sexual tension, we got to break sexual tension. And the number one key way of breaking sexual tension, or the, the, the most important part, there's many ways. I mean, touching, any kind of touch, sexual, break sexual tension with escalation. But the next rung in the ladder after sexual tension is kissing. We've got that sexual tension. Let's go for the kiss. The cool thing is, this kind of, you know, kiss, I could have also labeled it as, uh, you know, just as sexual escalation, right? Not normal escalation, but sexual escalation. But the idea is, sexual tension kind of cycles with, we escalate and break the tension, we build the tension, then we break the tension by escalating again, then we rebuild the tension up. And through a process called fractionation, it gets more and more pronounced, more and more, uh, potent. But kissing is so important, not because it's some, you know, super hard thing to do. It's this, you know, it shouldn't, kissing shouldn't be, I, I haven't touched her at all. It's very like, I haven't done anything, and then all of a sudden, now I'm trying to kiss her because it's very jarring, right? Kissing is important just because it's almost kind of like a social contract that's that's being done where it is firmly established that we now like each other. You don't kiss your friends. You don't make out with friends. If the girl's kissing you, and you're kissing her, she's basically showing you, "Yes, I am attracted to you. Yes, there's something about you that I'm into, right?" There's no going back from that. We can't just go like, "Oh, no, we're not that into each other." Like, obviously something's there, that's why we've kissed, okay? It, it firmly establishes that attraction is a thing. Before then, there's always some kind of possibility.

So going, going through, we, we understand now we've planned the date, we have the sexual tension, uh, going on with, and, and there's a connection there. We've now kissed her and made out with her. We've gone through all the vibes, right? It's on. The girl's attracted. It's, it's, you know, at this point, once you're kissing her, now the goal is just not to, screw it up, essentially. So from here, what I always found is the next rung of the ladder now comes is the adventure. And adventure is probably the most loosely defined. I, I like being very nitty-gritty. I like spilling things out and being very specific for, for everyone, uh, so that way we can't, you know, nothing can be misinterpreted as far as what I'm teaching, what I'm saying. But the adventure part, it's just, it, it can't be done really because the adventure rung of the ladder is open to whatever it is around you. Maybe you go on a bull ride, maybe you go on a photo booth, maybe you go dance the rest of the night, maybe you're just doing shots and messing around. Uh, there's, uh, what I can tell you for sure is, it's pure, unadulterated, just fun, living in the moment with this girl who you are vibing on with every level that matters when it comes to attraction, comfort, playful flirting, connecting, sexual. It's all there. You're going through all the different vibes, and you're just going and enjoying everything. Maybe you're hopping to new places, maybe you're doing silly stuff, you're bouncing around. Uh, the, the idea of the adventure rung of the ladder is to show and think of it like, like a date, like on a date, it's just, "Can we enjoy each other's presence?" Right? It's a very liberating kind of feeling that goes on in the adventure rung of the ladder. You do want to keep getting mass investment. You do want to keep, uh, you know, keep things moving and going. You don't want to go back and stall out and, and just try to, like, force conversation sitting around. You want to make it exciting. You want to make it thrilling. You want a night, or a day, or a date, or whatever the hell it is you're doing there, you want something that she'll remember. I had girls come by for a date, and we just kind of had coffee and talked, or they came by my place, there's nothing much to do, and we just kind of chilled. And right, and because there's no adventure element, it was like, "Yeah, you know, they'll tell me like, ah, I just wasn't feeling it. I don't know. I just feel like maybe the chemistry is not there yet." To meet a similar girl, same type of thing, and because of the element and what I'm using in my environment and just, you know, being extra and having crazy times, all of a sudden she's super bound to me. She's super into me. This is why shows, kind of like The Bachelor, is so unrealistic because it's always an adventure. Everything they're doing in these, like reality TV shows, is so extra that they're forcing the adventure on the ladder nonstop to create those vibes. But so we don't have to have a helicopter ride or anything like that. Uh, we just want to use our environment to the best of our ability. And this is why it's good to know logistics, good to know what's around you, so you can have an adventure and you can lead it, versus, "I don't know what to do," and you're just hoping, you're just hoping that things fall in your lap, because it won't. You, you should know what's around you and how to move it forward.

So now that they have the adventure rung of the ladder to move forward from here, we get to the next rung, and that is the Afterparty. And the Afterparty is just basically any kind of excuse or playability that will have the girl come back to your place or for you to go back to hers. Because at the end of the day, you can have all the greatest adventures in the world as you want. You have the greatest amount of times ever, but at some point, if things are going to progress forward, you know, it has to come back to your place or her place, or, you know, somewhere where you can be intimate and be alone together, fully alone. The adventure kind of ends, and it, and it ends with that Afterparty. The party's over. Now, for the after party, now it's just something for you and her. It can be an actual after party. There'll be people back in your place, I guess. And, you know, but it's, me, when I say after party, it doesn't have to be literal. It just means, "Let's get out of here. Let's go, you know, back somewhere and and continue the night or continue the day." Once the Afterparty rung is established, and you got a girl back, and all the vibes are set, and you've done everything and solidified everything, because a lot of guys might bring girls back very quickly. Again, I'm guilty. I've been guilty of this too, where it's like, "All right, I got to go back to my place," but didn't really hit those rungs of the ladder. So there's no point, right? Uh, but, you know, bring the girls back if all the prerequisites are done. Now the next rung after Afterparty is arousal. We want to have the girl turned on. And we can do that physically. We can do that verbally. You know, getting the girl aroused, we want to make sure that, you know, she's in a state where she is not giving up sex or not like doing us a favor. She is turned on to the extreme and desires it and wants to jump our bones, right? She wants, she, she is, she wants it. And the way we do that really in the bedroom is by combining arousal with comfort. She should be be very comfortable with us all the time, and we should also be finding ways to get her incredibly aroused. And that's what that whole running the ladder is all about. And finally, the last rung, number 15, is releasing pressure. We should, the girls should never feel pressure about anything. We should, we should let her know, no matter what happens, things are going to be okay. Releasing pressure, whether things are going to be a relationship or not, or if sex is going to occur, it needs to be, you know, we need to realize that once she's in the state, some anxiety might flare up. You know, there might be some concerns or worry. And no matter what, we, you should never lead a girl on or promise anything you can't. But it should always be a, "Everything's fine. We can relax. There is no pressure here." Because girls are used to that. Girls are used to, you know, when, when they're getting aroused and things are getting hot and heavy, they're used to guys trying to pressure them for sex and trying to force things to happen. And we want to show them the opposite by, it's like the Chinese finger trap, by releasing pressure and showing that everything's okay. One, we're showing that we respect her as a human being. She's not just some sexual, some sex object. Number two, it makes her feel safe, secure with us, so that, you know, she can have, she can allow herself to have sex now. And three, it also allows you to know that you can, if, if you want to, um, have a relationship talk, or, or things are going down that way. We release pressure of going, "Look, whatever happens, kind of happens. There's no right or wrong. There's no, uh, you know, if it could be casual, it could be serious." But the, the, the number one thing should be is there's no feeling of pressure for anything to, to happen, right? Uh, and a lot of it just comes down to, honestly, the, the release pressure rung. A lot of it comes down to just making them feel like a human being, realizing like, "Yes, you want to see them again. This is not going to be the last time you see them. You're not making them feel used." That, and you're reminding them of everything else. A lot of times people have a lot of hard, uh, time with the releasing pressure rung of the ladder if they skipped connection, if they rushed things, didn't, you know, do things in the right format, right?

So there you have it. It, you know, the attraction ladder spelled out to you from start all the way to the finish. And as quickly to recap again, start, conversation, positioning, peer approval, uh, PES, flirtation, free, freeing from friend, uh, connecting, planning the date, sexual tension, kiss, or just some kind of escalation. So kiss, the Afterparty, the arousal. Oh, sorry, sorry, I missed, uh, kiss, having the adventure with her, the Afterparty, and arousal, and then releasing pressure. Okay. It seems like a lot. It's a mouthful. It's a whole thing. I know 15 steps, and there's so much to do. But this is the, you know, easy, or, or this is the most basic breakdown we can give. Now, at the end of the day, we could make it as simple as you want. You could just say, "Go up, create attraction, and then act on it." But like that, that's a disservice. And there's probably even steps even between, uh, the, the rungs of the attraction ladder. There's definitely other little things that, you know, we can do within it to make it go even more smooth. But if you understand the attraction ladder, and you know, do whatever you got to do, write it all out by hand, pin it up against the wall, make sure you see it every day, make sure that while you're out there, you're, you're actively thinking to yourself, "Okay, where am I? How do I move it forward? Where am I going?" Because if you're just a guy who is thinking, "All right, sex. I got to get this girl to like me. Sex." One, you're giving a lot of pressure on yourself. You'll never be able to act on that. It's going to be very, very difficult. The second thing is, uh, it's, you're going to, of course, you're, you're not going to know what the hell to do because you don't know where you're going, right? Now, that's, it's such a far goal. You're looking so far down the road, you don't know what to do. That's right now actionable in front of you. This gives you actionable, practical steps. This gives you a very, uh, easy to follow guideline, a roadmap. Okay? So everything kind of being taught here, at least when it comes to cold approach, uh, follows this format, follows this, uh, guideline of going through the attraction ladder. And again, when you master it, when you get really good, you, you can move things around. It's not like, "Oh, you, uh, you have to be like a robot and do automatically." This is just a way of breaking down, explaining it to guys who've never really thought about it in this way before, who never really took the time to go, "Okay, well, how does this flow in a way that it should, and that is effective, and that allows me to put my best foot forward and, and get, you know, get the girl desiring me and and investing more and more?" Because people skip steps, they do steps in a weird way, they, they mess up these things a lot. So if

You're having trouble out there. When you're, if you're just starting off, or even if you're a veteran, I want you to get to understand the core concept of the attraction ladder. There's no excuse anymore, right? It's all mapped out. And if you have access to all my previous group calls, chances are every one of these rungs of the ladder, I talk about in depth on one of those previous group calls. I for sure go through them all one by one within the Master Class. So this is covered in so many different ways throughout, through, throughout all of modern flirting. It is a crucial element that you have to get down. You have to understand. And again, you can't be mixing it with all the guard. So much advice online and, you know, the point qu pickup guys, uh, it's just so much garbage and will mess you up. And then people wondering, why is it not working? Why are they not getting results? Why is this not clicking? It's because they're trying to mix things together that don't, are not meant to be mixed. This is a system and a and a road map that allows you to build up not only the skill sets that help you with women and the cold approach, but will translate and will, you know, that will, that will translate to develop other social skills that will make you effective and a badass in all of social influence. All right, this is the groundwork that leads on to so much more that can actually, um, take off, you know.

So now that you have the attraction ladder, I expect you guys to study it, uh, to know it in depth. You should know it like the back of your hand, be able to go through it, not just, and not just memorize it, but visualize it. See it happening. I want you to actually see yourself doing it. What does it look like? How does it feel? And then I want you to go out and I want you to practice and practice it bit by bit by bit and get better at every single one, bit by bit by bit. So with that said, I'll be taking questions. And if you have any, just, you know, start raising those hands. Let's get right into it.

All right, Zach. Hey, can you hear me?

I hear you loud and clear.

Awesome. First of all, that was great. That was the first time I feel like I've been able to see the whole thing as like a big picture. And just for everybody else, I think what I'm going to start doing is actually visualizing myself going through it. Like, what does it look like? What's the, because the more you visualize things, it trains your brain. You can trick your brain into thinking you've done it before.

Yes. So that's thing I'm gonna start adding into my drills myself.

The biggest mistake guys do, you try to memorize it like they're studying it for a test. And that's not how I learned it. That's not how would ever worked for me. It's like exactly what you said. It's visualizing yourself going through it and doing it because that's what's going to make it really stick and make it feel as it's something you know for you versus, oh, this is just some like intellectual masturbation.

Yeah, I like to visualize in the shower. That's just me. Uh, so I have two questions.

Sure.

So one is on managing the groups. It almost seems like you can do, you know, conversation Pez and pure approval. Does that kind of all happen at the same time? Can you speak a little more on just managing groups?

Yeah, I mean, a lot, like I said, a lot of these kind of happen at the same time. Peer approval and, um, Pez for sure. And obviously, and, and also like, it doesn't mean you just stop conversation either, right? So when you unlock one, you can continue doing it later. So if I'm building up sexual tension, like even later on, it doesn't mean I stop connection. I can still keep doing more things that build up a connection. Things are very cyclical. Uh, it kind of comes in as needed. But the, we learn as humans learn through patterns. It's very easier if we think of things linear, but the reality of it is never that simple. However, however, each rung is its own unique skill set. And you can start pinpointing, figuring out where are you kind of slacking, where are your weak points in it, and just start building these up bit by bit by bit so you can master each rung one by one.

Yeah, that makes sense. And I'm slacking in Pez and flirting points. Um, okay. And then when it comes to releasing pressure, is that a thing you're going to do every single time? Like, or no, if it's just, if it's on and she's ready to go, are you just going?

Honestly, that's the only rung in the ladder where if you're doing everything really well, chances are it won't even come up. You won't need to. So it's just a thing you're going to do if you're getting objections or if you're sensing any hesitation. If you're, if she feels pressured, if she feels that, I don't know, you know, like there's, there's some kind of uncomfortableness going on, then you know you need to know how to deal with that. But ideally, if the whole idea is you're getting her to invest in you, you're getting her to work for you, and, and, and building this connection and showing her how awesome you are, and she's, you know, craving you and desiring you, then she shouldn't feel that pressure to begin with. But again, but no matter what, I mean, some girls will have it, no matter what, no matter how well you do. But you'll notice as you get better and better, that becomes something you have to deal with less and less.

Makes sense. I've definitely burned myself on that before. All right, that's all I got. Thank you.

All right, thank you, Zach. Uh, all right, Victor. What's up?

Jared. What's up? All right, so just a few questions. Uh, uh, most importantly, uh, sexual tension. When it comes to, um, doing that rung, I guess the overall feeling of how far you stretch it out because I know in my case, I happen to kind of push it either too far. I just, I don't really know like the limit on how far. I know you can keep introducing sexual tension, but more so the fact of how do you know when is enough to really go in and make the move?

So, I mean, that's going to also kind of come with experience through trial and error. Like too little, too much. It's called the pendulum effect. We do too little, then we do too much, and we kind of to find the the sweet spot, right? The idea though is we build up a little bit of sexual tension. Now, if you're building up sexual tension and she seems uncomfortable, it's not sexual tension, it's awkward tension. So when you're building up, uh, when you're building up the sexual tension, the idea is go for some kind of release, some kind of escalation move. Maybe it's, you know, a hug, you pull her in, or you, you quick kiss on the neck. But at all times, we're kind of calibrating to her comfort levels. We're seeing where she is, how at ease she is. And if you make a mistake, it's not the end of the world. It just means you pull back a bit, rinse, wash, and repeat, you know, type of deal. But sexual tension shouldn't be that, let me pour it on to no end. It should be cycling with, okay, I'm building sexual tension, I'm releasing the tension, now bring it back up again, and now releasing the tension, uh, some more. That idea of bringing it up and like kind of coming like in and out like a wave, that is something that will start, you know, having the girl desire you more and more versus you're just trying to pour it on because it feels good to like really shove in your face that I'm this massive sexual being, which I found in that trap myself where I was like, I'm, you know, first you get sexual anxiety, then you're like, I'm testing, then you're like, okay, I'm comfortable sexual tension, and then you realize sexual tension is [ __ ] awesome. I can do as much as I want. I'm, I like it. Right, right. And yeah, and then you like pour it on non-stop. But for the girl, it could still be, maybe it gives her some anxiety, maybe it's too much. So it's just really reading, it's really reading her and, and giving a little, taking it away, giving a little, taking it away, and then bit by bit progressing it forward with your escalation.

So I guess the way I'm interpreting it right now, it's kind of, okay, you ramp up the sexual tension, slowing things down, uh, with the tonality and kind of giving that elongated eye contact, and then you can take it away, go back to, you know, the vibes, you know, fun, playful, whatever. And then you later, you know, as you're continuing on, you introduce it.

I mean, all of it, all of it can cycle. You just, when I'm doing sexual tension, I want to see a noticing she's like biting her lip, she's smiling, but maybe looking down, uh, she's like, she's showing obvious signs of interest that she's enjoying this versus signs of being uncomfortable. That's the only real danger to work, you know, like out for sexual tension. And you don't, and just like flirting or anything else, you want to do it a little bit at first, gauge your response. It's not like just always go balls to the wall. So much, so much garbage advice and all this stuff I'm seeing online is balls to the wall, just do crazy [ __ ] off the bat with playful or flirting or sexual or whatever. And then it just, you know, sure, every now and then, sometimes it works and you get this great response. And and that's unfortunate because then it keeps guys going, no, remember that one time I got a great response, it was awesome. H, but for the most part, it's slowly you're testing and you're gauging where, you know, her comfort levels and where she's at.

Okay, that makes sense. Um, for the other two, for I guess arousal as well, um, on those, on that rung itself, that's more overt compared to the flirting, which is more covert, right? So one's kind of in, in the sense of now you're really displaying and kind of getting into, um, the vibe and verbally complimenting, getting a little bit of the sexual topics going, more into, you know, based on how she, her scent and kind of visuals and stuff, right?

Yeah, we always trying to like watch and and map out what kind of visual she has, what kind of person she is. It's got to be listening to her values, okay?

And lastly, for releasing pressure, um, is it, it just goes as easy as just saying there's no expectations at the end of the night? And then you end up going back to what you're usually doing and then you kind of like, how would you go about the releasing pressure? Because I'm a little confused on that one.

It depends where she feels the pressure. I mean, maybe we just, maybe start a tickle fight. Maybe we kind of just roll, you know, roll off and just have a talk back to connection and just trying to like talk with her about [ __ ]. Maybe it comes down to, hey, let's just get out of bed, let's go do something else. [ __ ] it. Like if maybe she doesn't want to be in that bedroom, she's uncomfortable, she's in the bedroom, realize where is this pressure coming from and go, it shouldn't be here. Let's alleviate this. And whatever, somebody maybe calling out, calling out the elephant in the room and just asking her, hey, you know, is, is everything, is everything okay? You know, nothing needs to happen. I want to to make sure that you're, you know, you're enjoying yourself. And it's fine. Like just having a conversation and, and, and calling it out. But you got to realize and look at her and ask, like, does she feel pressured to do something? If so, you have to release that and let her know that's not the case. The whole point of this, of the point of what's going on here with modern flirting is we're, we're creating desires, uh, of an investment in her so that it's something she's want to do, not something she's trying to be convinced to do.

Okay, that makes a lot of sense then. All right, um, yeah, that's it. All right, questions.

Okay, James. Yo, yo, what's up, Jared?

Yo, hey. So I just want to comment that when I've been applying the attraction ladder in field recently, it's just been so [ __ ] fun. It's like playing a video game and every time, right, it's like beating a boss or something like that. It's just some people think it's intimidating, but once you do it a couple times, it is so damn fun. It is crazy.

That's awesome. Yeah.

But so my question is, I've, um, I've been focusing in our connection video and my question specifically is, when can you move from the connecting vibe to the sexual vibe? And, and this has to do with, you know, how you showed us a diagram a while ago with the, you know, W with the whole qualification pattern, right? You know, which was based off the old bait hook, reel, release, whatever. Like, how many times do you want to qualify someone before you could move from connecting to sexual? Or is it more like, if she gives you one really good answer and you feel like, you know, that is something you value, when you, you can reward her on it? It's not, I'm gonna stop here. It's not about you. You know, it's done when you can sense from her the idea that she feels you are truly genuinely interested in her. So we need, we need to see that from her. Here, you want an easy test. Is you say, wow, I really like you. And she says, I like you too. I really like you too. Like, you know, there's a connection. Now, if you want, like, just a simple word kind of, you know. But, you know, beyond that, it's, it's more the idea of clearly there's something on here. Clearly we are, uh, connected in multiple different ways. We have different, uh, you know, we have different things that bond us. Now, the, the idea is she's opening up and talking freely. She's, she's saying things like, I feel so comfortable with you. I don't know why, but like, I, I could talk to you about anything. I don't really, I haven't really shared that with anyone else. She's talking about secrets. She's, she's just very, it's just a feeling of or seeing that she's very open with us. And more importantly, we're showing her why we think she's amazing and wonderful. And, and she's not looking at it as, oh, that's a line or tactic, you're just trying to get with me. She truly feels and, and sees that, yeah, no, you care about there's a connection here. You liked her.

Okay, so just because you reward her based on one of her answers doesn't mean you've moved through a rung or vibe. It's just part of the process, right?

Yeah, I mean, if you think of it like that, we're thinking of it like a machine. And people aren't just machines, you know? It's not just like, boop, boop, boop, three qualifiers, got my line in, did my reward, therefore move on. Now, it all comes down to to her. Okay.

Okay. So some girls don't any connection. Some girls are just like, let me twerk my ass and I'm just having time my life and I want to be sexual right now. I'm connected. Like, or, or it's like, I know you want to just hook up with me, but I like that. I want. I am, I am into you sexually and I don't give a [ __ ]. And they just want to hook up like that. Some girls need like, I need a massive connection. I've been hurt before. I need to know there's something here. It, it all depends on the girl. It really has nothing to do with you.

Okay. Okay. All right. That's probably something I just need to test more in field and I'll have more questions on that. Um, yeah, because before I, I didn't know because some books would just tell you, hey, qualify three times and then move on, blah, blah, blah. So I didn't know if there's like a good, do not mix other stuff out there with this [ __ ] because it will confuse you and it will, it like it doesn't work. Like some of this stuff, you know, people, I love when people are like, I, you know, some of this stuff you say, I've heard before, it's been mentioned. And I'm like, bastardized versions of this. Because yes, I learned a lot of the stuff that was out there and realized most of it is wrong. But it's not that they're all like completely missed the mark. It's just that they didn't understand the real reasonings behind things. So it's exactly, this is a perfect example. We're talking about connections and and getting girls to open up and qualify and whatnot. But people think, oh, it's a qualifier. Let me just ask these questions. And then if she answers these questions, boom, qualify. Now I can move on and do whatever. Like, no, that is just dead [ __ ] wrong. And when people don't understand the whole process and how it all works together, they're going to be very frustrated because they're not going to get what, you know, why things aren't clicking and working for them.

Okay. All right. Um, that helps. Another question. A lot of times when you're, uh, at a nightclub or something, you, you kind of start off with an environment that's not necessarily the first one on the ladder. So for example, if I meet someone on the dance floor and we start grinding on each other, right? That's, you know, that's obviously not start. Well, that's not a conversation. So, you know, just a couple times I could think of is like, okay, you know, I grind with someone on the dance floor and then afterwards, their friends come in. I'm thinking about, okay, how do I rerun the attraction ladder now? Because if I'm rerunning it, you know, obviously I still need to talk to her friends. But when I do it, it's not going to be one through 15 anymore. I'm probably, I probably can skip like, you know, um, you know, I, I would probably obviously I'm probably skipping skipping it now if it, if it's out of order. Now, how should I think of it when it's kind of scrambled?

That you're getting better. Because that's how it gets when, when you get more advanced, it does get scrambled. It's not a linear. Like I said, it's not meant to really, uh, meant to be a linear process. It is kind of scrambled at the end of the day. Though, the question always remains, what does this girl need? She's telling you, and most of the time they're telling you what they need. They need more comfort, they need more connection, they need more playful, they're bored, you know, whatever. There are signs that kind of show, uh, what that might look like. So if, if you're realizing it's getting scrambled, it means you, you're not just a beginner anymore where everything's just, oh, okay, just follow the book. You're understanding, okay, there's a little bit more complexity to it than that. But the cool thing is, if you have all the skills down for each one, now the only thing you have to understand is what is needed in this situation. Cool. I have the tool. I have the skill for that.

Okay. Yep, yep. Okay, got it. I, I'll think about that one a little bit more. I think infield will, uh, will definitely teach me more on that. So.

Absolutely. Yeah. Thanks, Jared.

My pleasure.

All right, Chris. Hey, Jared, how you doing?

Good. How you doing, man?

Fantastic. So a couple things. I just wondered if you could just maybe touch a little more on, uh, visualizing the attraction ladder. Because I, I, I, I have it. You know, I actually did memorize it. What I, again, I'm not, I know that's maybe what I shouldn't have done, but I did it in groups of three because that was just ways of, you know, a way to kind of quickly do that. And then the other thing I found myself doing was when I was going through it, I, I realized in my previous relationships and other, uh, encounters with women, you know, it hit me where was using parts of the attraction ladder, of course, not really knowing it and not being logical about it, but parts of it just resonated with, you know, relationships I'd had in the past. And I wondered if that's a useful visualization to kind of remember where I had hit points in the attraction ladder in my encounters.

It, it can be. That's an interesting. So I use reference experience when I know I've done it correctly. It's like, okay, that's a feeling, that's what I'm going for. It's a reference experience. Usually, when I'm talking about visualization, though, I'm thinking imagining scenarios where I'm going out and then how would I see this looking? How would I do it? Maybe visualizing something a girl says or does, you know, flow charting, writing down a flow chart. I'm just seeing myself progressing through it one by one by one, each, each rung as its own thing. That's, that's what I mean by the visualization. Now, if you have a, if you have a reference experience for it, that's awesome. That's great. You can absolutely call upon that and, and use that. Right? It's just, I, it's kind of close to imagine you walk into a bar or wherever and then start, and you see yourself start. Then you see yourself having a conversation. What does the conversation look like? You see yourself telling a story. You see yourself, uh, coming up with things to say back and forth. And you see yourself getting into the position. Right? You're out of position, and you see how you get position. Because if you can't imagine it, you can't even conceive of it, then how are you supposed to do it when you're out there, right? It has to start with the mind. You have to be able to see it happening and possible first. Then and only then can you, uh, progress that further and actually implement on it and do it, do it correctly. Now, your visualizations might be wrong. It might be dead wrong, but at least that's a starting point. At least you can like have an idea for how it is. And then through testing, doing it a bunch of times, now you start changing up how you visualize it, right?

Is it useful to also maybe do it like actually acted out, you know, at home in the mirror?

Yes. That's drills. You can drill with a, a drill girl. We have tons of drill girls you can choose from. You can drill with them. You could drill, you can do imaginary drill where you just do it in front of a mirror, or you can do it with a chair, whatever you want to. There's no, the, the more you play with it, make your own write-up, flow charts, drill it, imagine it, use a, use a friend, use a girl. There's no, if it's never bad. You know, the idea though is that you understand it, not just as an, as an academical, you know, logical level. You, there, there is a bit of an intuitive feel to it as well that you're building through repeated visualizations, exposure, practice, drilling, etc.

Okay, great. Thank you.

My pleasure.

All right, Ryan. Mute. Ryan. Hello, Jared. Good evening.

Good evening. Uh, so I wrote it down. If I could just read it to you and then the question that is.

Sure.

Jared, you mentioned regarding the conversation rung about being well cultured. And I think that's something that's really not acknowledged or really talked about when it comes to this topic. I know we have the monologue drill, strong opinion drill, and those can help with conversation. However, I consider that most guys who are not good with women, or maybe even students you've worked with in the past, have lived rather sheltered lives and haven't done much, haven't traveled much, and are not really plugged into the commercial social entertainment, so to speak, which leads to them not really having much to talk about. I feel that I really am not as cultured as I could be or as most people are. AKA, with it, I don't watch TV, really haven't seen many movies. I have had a previous coach who advised me to read TMZ daily to combat this. In the case of women, I know it's been mentioned in the past about using quote unquote chick crack topics as a means to have something to talk about that women want to talk about. I literally just seen two college girls sitting at a Five Guys waiting for their order. And I question what kind of values could I elicit from them in this moment using conversation off the fly? Can you expand on all of this? Because I feel this is a huge sticking point that has been hindering me. Or asked differently, is my past of having lived so little going to be a big issue when it comes to getting good at this?

So I can go into each one of these points of, you know, we talk about [ __ ] crack, or we're talking about culture, we're talking about whatever. And if I do it, we can hit them all and probably remember them all anyway. It'll be a whole thing. The driving force for guys who want to have more things to talk about, right? I'm gonna say one word. In one word, I can solve this whole thing for you, Ryan. Curiosity. If you just attack life with curiosity, you start learning [ __ ]. For instance, I didn't know what this Hamilton thing was, okay? Like there's some, somebody said there's some play called Hamilton. No idea what it was. I was curious. I listened to some of the songs. I go, this is badass. This is awesome. Got super into the songs. Like Hamilton from there, it led to, I, well, the play's coming. I want to go see the play. So went and saw the play. And guess what? A lot of the stuff that was going on in the play, I got really curious about. I started Googling and using Wikipedia and finding out all about history of the founding fathers and revolution and yada yada. Then because I like Hamilton, I keep my ears plugged and on social media or wherever, through friends, social circle, realize, hey, guess what? It's on Disney Plus. Uh, it's gonna be coming out on Friday. For those who don't know, you can watch the whole play to see the whole Hamilton play on Disney Plus. So if I'm talking to a girl, I might bring up Hamilton because, guess what? I genuinely am interested in that. I like it. So a conversation is, is two. There's two driving factors. I'm curious about everything I hear. And even if you live the most sheltered life, even if you've had no access to [ __ ] TMZ or whatever, okay? If you're talking to other people, and girls, or whatever, listen. And what do they bring up? What, what topics do they talk about? Do they bring up? What are you hearing? And if you don't know anything about it, be curious and learn about it. Find out information. We're living in a, in a time where there's unlimited information at our fingertips. There's no excuse for it. No excuse not to be able to learn about something, right? So with that curiosity, then by learning and and looking at all this different stuff, we realize some things, ah, not for you, not that interested, whatever. At least you know about it. Now you can talk on it. But you realize it's not for you. But then sometimes some of these things we were curious about, we realize this is [ __ ] awesome and badass. And now we can be passionate and talk about it. Whatever excites us, whatever is new and coming out that we're listening to. But it comes from first being curious about what's out there, what people are talking about, what's interesting to them, exciting to them. And then we are curious to check it out and explore ourselves. And then we realize certain things that now we can be passionate about and talk about with others and teach them, just as someone else taught you.

Makes sense. Thank you, Jared. All right, curiosity and passion will create great conversation.

All right. Now we have MCH. Thanks, Jared. Uh, great talk. And, um, got me excited to start on the, um, on the class, which I'm going to do. Can't wait.

Question.

Sure. What's that?

No, I'm looking forward to you, you know, getting, getting started.

Yeah. Two questions. Number one, regarding the curiosity in that, what you just, uh, answered just a little bit ago. Um, can you ask the girl just keep asking her questions about what she's talking about? So, for example, if she mentioned something about a movie, and I myself, I'm not as astute at all with movies. Can you ask her what you like about it? What you don't like about it? Her feelings about it? That's question number one. Question number two, with the rungs and I have not yet to go through them, is aside the drill girls, is there any way to safely practice and stumble that's not in field and where, and, and discover what's just practice? Because it's like, it sounds like it's anything else, you need practice to get good at it.

Yes. So regarding your first question, uh, you don't want things to come off as an interview. You don't want to be badgering her or just asking her question after question after question like that, right? But back and forth, you want to show, yes, you can show absolutely can show curiosity. If you don't know about something, you can say, I haven't seen that movie. What's it about? And then she says, she starts saying something, and you go, wow, that sounds cool. You obviously seem really passionate about, you know, about it. What makes it better than say, this other movie? Right? As long as it's not just, you know, badgering with question, question, question, question, you're still structuring things, and you know, the Q&A, question, answer, statement format, then it's okay, right? So yes, be curious. Ask her. Sometimes I'll even write things down. Girls will say things like, I read, I was on a bad date. I was on a bad date. And the girls talk about some book, and we're talking some spirituality thing. And look, I don't know anything about this. I don't know anything about like this doctor who like died and there's like proof of life after death and all this stuff. I'm like, I don't know anything about this, but you know what? I'm curious. What was the name of that book? I'll whip my phone out right there and take down the information. Like, if there's something that you don't know about, it's, it's something that's new or whatever, and you can't really talk on it, then yeah, be curious. Ask her. And you know what? They like it. They, well, you're interested in this, and you're like, yeah, I'm interested in it. This sounds cool. And then they're excited to tell you about it. And they're excited to to connect on this new thing. Now, because you're curious and shows there's a rapport there. And then later on, now you're the one who'll be teaching people and taking it even, you know, your frame, the authority frame.

Okay, so that's number one. Number two, yes, there's ways to practice. Now, nothing, there is no substitute for going out and practicing with a real life human being, okay? There is no substitute for that. So that the drill girls is the best next best thing. But at the end of the day, you know, we can't expect like, it's like, how can I really get good at fighting if I don't spar? Right? But we can do forms, we can do drills. You can do association drills, conversation drills, you know, drills for the conversation. You can, uh, imagine the girl is there and role play scenarios. Imagine what kind of response you might get. You can do, and you got to be creative. So let's say your, we got to get more specific, right? The every skill set in the attraction ladder, there's a specific thing that has to be done. Maybe Pez, you're bad at teasing. So you can watch YouTube videos of people monologuing and doing, or being interviewed, and you could pause it and think, how would I tease them in this situation? So a lot of the times, you just, we got to be a little bit creative. Sexual tension, that's a little bit harder because you can't build up sexual tension if you're by yourself. But then that, that's where you're going to have to just use visualization techniques to imagine being in that, in that situation, right? So it, it all comes down to going, what specific skill am I struggling with? And then looking for creative ways of pinpointing that skill. Uh, I saw you mentioning flirting in the chat earlier. Write out stuff girls have said, or maybe you listen over audios, or you just listen to people having conversations and you pause and you go, okay, what's something I can say right here that would make it flirty? Uh, or, you know, if it was playful, how can I spin this joke or spin this playful thing and make it into a flirtatious thing? How do I add a sexual, a dating, a challenging or punishing frame associated with it? We could, we could also, uh, another thing is is, um, immersion. Can we be around other guys? Just being around flirty guys, playful guys, sexual guys. We can soak in their vibe. It's just, just the osmosis principle of being around certain people gets us to make sense of it more and see in action and really, uh, put into effect. Oh, and you're muted here. Let me unmute you again. But does that answer your question, MCH?

It does to some degree. I get that I have to really study the material to have a baseline. To have at least a baseline. And then practice it with a drill girl. I will also, I will also say every single piece of the attraction ladder is covered in the master class. Number one, right? And every single module has assignments, actual physical assignments that you can do that will ensure that you get better at that skill set. So I've already thought about it, mapped it out, and, and you'll have them when you get to that part in the class. You will have things to do to implement that will help you get better at that skill, if that, if that's any consolation.

And that's great. And then I should go through the whole thing before I start practicing on actual human beings?

Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, no. Still practice. Still practice. Because that's just, mean, that's a perfectionist mindset of, I need to know everything and do everything perfect before I go out. Getting, getting real world experience adds to what you're learning here. Adds to what's going on with, with the master class and the skill sets being done here, you know, it's the idea is whatever you're learning, let's go out there in the world and start applying it and seeing it. But there is no point in like worrying about connection skills and, and how to get a girl aroused in bed when you still can't even hold a conversation. Just laser focus on the key, on the key skills that you need right now.

I just don't like because I know where I've gotten stopped. I've have because I practiced a lot, got nowhere. But I don't have the skill. I don't have your training yet.

Well, exactly. So now practicing the practicing, it's like, it's like just going out there and and picking a lot of fights to get into a lot of fights. That doesn't get you the skill set. You have to be studying the techniques and moves and then going out and doing these fights with the specific purpose of trying out the things that you're learning here.

That's the way to do it. Okay, I'm clear. Thank you for your, thank you for your answering my questions.

No, my pleasure. Thank you.

All right. We got Christopher. See, I can. Hello. Can you hear me?

Hey, hear you.

All right. Um, so I guess maybe it's a little bit unrelated. Not really sure. I kind of came in the conversation, the call late.

Don't worry.

Um, anyways, I was going through kind of like the beginning stages of the attraction ladder, like, uh, you know, like the opener and the, like the associations and the, I guess that's not really the attraction ladder, but, you know, what I'm saying? Like the, the comfort building stuff.

Maybe. Yeah, I mean, know it is. Starters and conversation, the first two rungs of the ladder right there.

And the, like associations. And like I've been doing that for a little while now. And like, one thing I'm starting to realize is like, I'm getting really good at, um, like I'm getting really good at starters, or coming up with starters just on the spot, stuff that usually, usually it's not canned, but it just comes to me. Like, um, just things that kind of like, I don't know, they're, they're they're mostly just kind of like observations, kind of situational stuff. Anyways, um, I'm getting good at that. And then I'm getting good at like the associations where like I'm just kind of coming up with topics to talk about, really like, kind of like on a whim. And I can kind of talk, I can pretty much like talk to, um, I can even talk to girls that like, really aren't responsive. So I could just have a conversation with almost like a wall, you know? Which is like another thing I'm getting good at. But, um, like one thing I'm realizing is like, so, um, a lot of times like I'll get like these really good positive responses from girls where like, like I go in there, I say like almost like the perfect thing, it's funny, they're laughing. I'm sitting there and I'm like coming, I'm like talking and talking and like coming up with conversations. Um, sometimes I'll even kind of be quiet to see if like they'll, uh, kind of invest back. And usually they do, and they'll start talking back. And, um, I'm just having these good conversations. But the problem is, is like, it, it really, I like, I'm trying to like, I guess take it towards a certain direction. But, and I'll, I'll even show interest at some point, which might be a little like, um, uncalibrated, maybe on my part. Because I'll like, I'll, I'll figure, like, okay, things have been going good for a little while now. I'm gonna show interest. So then I'll throw in some interest and I'll get some kind of response out of it. But usually it doesn't really seem like it goes anywhere. Like I, like it kind of seems like once the, the vibe kind of dies off, everybody kind of splits off and there's no real like attraction there.

Well, yeah, because it sounds like you're going starter, conversation, awesome. And then show interest. So when we listen to the talk over again, you'll hear I kind of explain why that doesn't work. If you're going to be doing this, follow the attraction ladder bit by bit. The next thing you should be focusing on is your positioning. Funny enough, nothing to do with what you're saying, [ __ ] interest, you know, positioning. Positioning is kind of a weird. So like today, for instance, I was like, I was in a lazy river. How do you position in a lazy river? By being as comfortable or more comfortable than a girl. And by being in a place that will draw the most attention towards you. So might be. But I was in a lazy river. Like I was just floating on a tube. Regardless, I was still talking to people in the river. If, okay, let me ask you this. If you're in the river, where, where can you see, where does, where, where do your eyes go?

Well, they just go basically like, do they go up river or down river?

They go down river. So if I was going to get positioning, I want to be down river of the girl I'm talking to, because that's where her focus and attention will be, not behind her.

Okay, I guess I mean, it, there's always, now, comfort, sure. Like I want to be in the tube instead of out of the tube where I'm just kind of like paddling around her. But it's just the general rules. Go with where can I be in a place that makes sure that I'm going to get the most attention from her possible? I can have that spotlight on me. Now, some of it is granted, like positioning in a middle of a dance floor, very different than positioning up against a wall or a corner of a room or something like. But I just want your mind thinking of this in terms of what can I do with my body, where can I be positioned from there? You know, then rungs four and five, it's just peer approval and Pez. If there's no peers, just you and the girl, don't worry about the peer approval. Because, right, I actually did the peer approval thing like today, like, uh, with these girls I was talking to. I even said like, I did the like the, like I kind of put my arm around the girl that I liked and I was like, hey, I like, I told her friends, I was like, hey, I got a serious question for you guys. Like, what do you think of me and her? You think we'd make a good couple? And like, that's going flirting. But yeah, I mean, you're, you're pretty out there. They said, they said like, well, she's not like, usually you don't look like her type or something like that. So I mean, it's kind of a, like, kind of a blowout, you know what I mean? But I was like, okay, well, because you're trying to do flirting, but you're trying to do it towards a group.

A major thing I might do something like that, maybe not something that right around with her, because that might make the crush feel uncomfortable. But if I have tons of peer approval and I'm flirting with the girl, just kind of one-on-one, I might say something like that to one of the peers, just letting them know because she already approves of me, of course, she wants me to take her away. By by telegraphing and telling the peer, hey, we're flirting. There's a flirtation thing going on there. That might make the peer give approval for me to free her away from them.

It just sounds like though, you're going in, you're getting some initial good responses, and then you're instantly flooding them with some kind of interest. And again, that's not how the attraction ladder flows forward. There's a time and a place, right? So positioning, and then what I mean, winning the tease over, just befriending them, building rapport. And then fifth one would be Pez, being playful and getting her laughing and having a fun, great time with you.

Well, I feel like I'm already doing Pez or something. But I mean, by what you just said, the, the sticking point I'm noticing is you're just showing too much interest. That's what I'm trying to say, I guess, in a nutshell. You're just showing way too much interest. I'm not even sure because I don't feel like I'm showing too much. I just feel like I like probe it out there to see if something happens. And like it just doesn't look like it hits or something.

Don't probe until you see it from her. You'll get the interest from her where she's investing in you. You don't have to be like, I'm into you. We're flirting with you, you know, whatever. It just feels like, follow the attraction ladder step by step at first. And then you can start playing around. You like, basically know the rules inside and out and how to navigate it fully before you start playing with them, breaking the rules.

Okay, you're on the right track though. You're getting it. But, and, and each time you're getting blown out, I, it's it's very obvious exactly why, because it didn't flow with the attraction ladder. But the more you stay on the railing and you follow those rungs, the further forward you're going to get. And you're going to see like, holy [ __ ], this is just, it's you. We just sometimes get ants and we want to speed things up. But there's no need. The name of the game is just getting more and more investment from the girl.

Okay, I, I guess I, I just haven't, I guess I maybe I just don't, or maybe is you are the exact reason I made this call so you can look, listen to this again and again, hear how this all plays out. And then the cool thing is, you can look at some previous calls wherever you're getting stuck and just focus in on that rung of the ladder to master that. And systematically, week by week, month by month, see measurable results. You're getting further and further along the ladder so you can see yourself getting better.

And better as long as you stick to it, and we don't mix it with other things. Yeah, I just feel stuck at the beginning, like I don't feel like I can really get past the beginning because I'm not really sure, or I don't, I don't know. I guess maybe it's just, it gets too complicated for me to like pay attention to past the beginning part. Well, once you're at the beginning, because just instead of saying beginning or vague terms, I want you to become the most, most understanding guy of the traction ladder there is. You talk in terms of the traction ladder, you think in terms of the traction ladder. When you can finally start doing that, you'll see how much easier this becomes. Okay, so I hope that answers your question. And but listen, this call a few more times, and each run the ladder wherever you're getting stuck. There is a whole another call just for that.

Uh, we have Brent up. Hey, Jar. Hey, loving this call, man. Thank you. Great to see everyone asking questions too. It's awesome. Uh, my question is, uh, for adventure. So I was in a, a nightclub with a, with a wing, and we, um, we're talking to two girls. And then I made up with one of the girls, and I'm not sure if I did everything leading after to that, you know, up to point. But anyway, was making out with her, and then after that, it kind of just went downhill. And my question is for adventure. So if her friend is still there talking to like, your wing, are you, I guess, do you want to do like a group adventure? Are you like, like, hey, let's go to, you know, XYZ bar? Or maybe they're ready, the group ready to leave yet? Like, maybe she doesn't want to leave the group. How do you? You can do a group adventure for sure. I, you never want to go, you never typically want to go back if you don't have to. But at the same time, it's keep the fun times going. You don't want to feel forceful or that you have an agenda either. Because after adventure is the afterparty. Sometimes you do the afterparty. I've done, I've taken the whole group back for an afterparty, and then it just becomes freeing the girl away again and bringing into my room, and then arousing in my room while, you know, my wing and her friend are in, are in the living room having an afterparty, right? Sometimes that goes down. So it's kind of like riding the wave. You got to see what the vibe is. Uh, if you can, ideally always, it's good if it's just you and her, of course. But, you know, there's no problem if, if, if you can't. If she has to stay with her friends, if there's no way of freeing her, then just chill. Keep building up PE approval, have the adventure with her and her friends. Make it a fun, awesome night. Keep building up attraction with her, and then trust that you'll use the same freeing skills that would have been used earlier. You could use it again later in the night. Skill that they can be used again and again, repeatedly. Okay. Yeah, I'm just thinking I didn't have enough, um, previous of the, uh, rungs hit yet. Yeah, it's fine though. Okay, cool. Thanks. Uh, no problem.

All right, Anthony, uh, ask you to mute. Anthony, you there, buddy? Hello. Hey, hi Jared. Um, can you hear me? Yeah. You have a question? Yeah. Um, uh, I, I missed the first part of the call. I'll have to go over it, um, when it's posted. So sorry. I was with my dietician, um, as actually part of my journey, uh, to try to progress a bit. Like, I, I want to be healthier. I, you know, I posted in the health channels that I'm 50 pounds overweight. So, you know, so I got a dietician on board. I had my first meeting with her. So this is why I'm late for the call. Um, um, so yeah, um, you know, I, uh, I saw your reply in, uh, the negative reframe. I posted in there. Um, I, I just, um, you know, um, I, um, I think the feedback that you said was, uh, was helpful. Um, I, you know, I go out, I, I do a lot of work. I do a lot of action. Like almost every week, like I'm, I'm, I'm out. Everybody around me knows me as Anthony is the guy who goes out, takes action. He puts, you know, his words into practice. But, you know, I'm, as you said, you know, you can go out and and really have that desire and put it into actions to get better, but doesn't mean you're going to get better. You know, and and, um, uh, you know, um, you know, looking back, I think along this journey, like I've, I've had a lot of very good feedback here and there. And you're doing this wrong, and you should be doing that right, and you should be. I've been pulled in so many directions that there, I've actually ended up following no clear direction at all. I don't even know the attraction ladder. I don't know any of of the steps of the attraction ladder. I haven't read psychology of modern flirting. I'm still on module one when I should not even be on module one. Not because I'm there sitting on my ass and doing [ __ ] all, as I'm doing a really a lot of [ __ ] [ __ ]. Like if you could come here and speak to my wings, they would know Anthony is the guy who always tries to go out. Anthony, it feels like I'm going nowhere. You know, I'm going nowhere. Working hard does not mean being productive. That's the sad truth of the matter. There are guys who work crazy hard, they work long hours, and they're not productive at all. While there, like even in the gym, there can be guys who are in the gym for two hours and they're not going to get nearly the same gains as guys who are doing very productive things in the gym who are only there for 25 minutes length of time. And hard work does not equate to results. You need to be doing it the right way. And I think if we're looking at, you're like, why is not working for me? Why is this so hard? What is going on here? Then you hit the nail on the head, dude. We don't, like we don't know the attraction ladder. We haven't read the books. We haven't listened to calls. We haven't implemented what's being taught here and put this into action. Because you might be getting pulled in so many different ways. If we laser focus you, and this is what this calls for, you know, if we can get you laser focused, you will see more growth in the next couple of months and you probably have in the last year, the whole year. But, but there's, it's just the right way or the wrong way of doing it. Yeah.

And and and and that, that's that's the thing is like, I, and I need to, you know, because like, I, I think this, there are two things here. Is like, often like, I'm, I'm getting feedback on 25 things that I'm getting wrong. H, how do I progress when I'm, when I'm doing wrong on so many things on certain things? And then, and then secondly, it's like, then on this week, I'm focusing on that area, and the next week, I'm focusing on that area. And then I'm, I'm hopping on all those areas. And and and here I am, and and not even knowing the fundamentals, you know, with the attraction ladder. Like, so I, you always want to go to the lowest denominator, go to the fundamentals, go to the attraction ladder. Yeah. I, I, I just need to do. And I, as it said in, in the first module video, you laser focus, just do one thing at a time. For me, if I do two things at a time, if I'm focusing on two things, I'm not going to progress. I just need to get down to one thing. What is that one thing? I do now, iron that out until I can move to the next step. I spoke with James yesterday, and I read your message as well today. And, and I, I think I just, like, I need to start taking less action. Even though it's [ __ ] painful, because it kills me inside if I don't go approach. You know, it's painful because I'm trying to stop the isolation, you know? And, um, and I just, I just need to finish the, uh, finish at least module one and two, and start reading the psychology of modern flirting. And have a, if someone can just send me like a, um, a visual of the ladder that I can print and stick on my wall so I can read it every day and memorize it. So I think I, I just need to do those three things for the moment. Finish the module, start reading psychology on modern flirting, and have a printed, uh, ladder, and just, just get that done. Because this is the fundamentals of the fundamentals, and I don't even know that. And it's embarrassing, you know? Well, there's no time to change like the present. It sounds like we have a course. We, you know, you know which way you're going on. You know, we, now we now have an action plan. It's time to just stick on it and not let anything else get in your way. Yeah.

Sound good? Yeah. Um, there's an additional. Oh, sorry. Question? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is an additional thing, uh, besides that. Another huge sticking point that I have is my, it's my inner game. I very quickly go to a dark place. Even my boss at work has told me that about my, even at my work, when I'm faced with something that I don't know how to do, I'm stuck. I go, I'm in my head immediately. I go in a dark place. And, and it's not just in my game, it's in my work. It's, it's, it's it feels like this big inner game issue I have. It feels like I'm trying to progress, but like, this bad inner game, it's like swimming against the current. So this exercise is already hard, but it's making it even harder with the bad inner game, you know? So now I'm like, well, should I also focus on the bad inner game right now? Or just put that aside and just focus on the module and the ladder and the psychology of modern flirting? U, it's again, it's trying to, it's not trying to overwhelm myself with too much things, you know? Yeah, I, I agree. Laser focus, knock things way to move a mountain one at a time. I mean, you have it on. If you're looking for me to give you that stamp of approval, you've got that stamp. You, you have the right mindset. I'm liking everything you're saying now. It just comes down to implement it and, and attack it. Okay. But sorry, I interrupted. You were gonna say something at the end. But no, I like, I said, you, you're focusing on, we have the action plan. Have to focus on the attraction ladder, like, like it's, you know, we got, you got to focus on it. We got to switch it around and, and implement exactly what you said. You don't need me to tell you, you know, exactly what to do. You, you're telling me. It's not a question. This is a statement, and I agree with everything you're saying here. It's just now it's time to act on that. Yeah.

Okay. Pull in your tribe, stay accountable. Okay. All right. Thank you, Anthony. Gonna be looking forward to watching you grow in the next couple months. Uh, Gore, sweet. Um, let me send something in the chat. If you can open it, in terms of structure, I wanted to get a visual of how everything is broken down. Uh, the opener, I pretty much get. And I'm sure I'm missing like two, I think from there, but I can look it up in the book. But for a conversation, um, cuz I hear a lot of terms being thrown around, teasing, qualification, compliance. I just wanted to know like where all of that fits in, um, in terms of leading the conversation somewhere. Um, so I'm not sure if it's in the convo group call. A lot of it is, a lot of these terms, unfortunately, as of right now, I don't have a glossary of all the different terms. You can, I mean, there's some, some of it's online, and but I might not exactly agree with those terms. Uh, you will see them in my book, and as you look on specific calls, you'll hear me break it down. So, for example, there's a call on PEZ. Well, I for sure break down that term PEZ because it's what the whole call is upon, right? Uh, when we talk about qualification and whatnot, and compliance, you'll see my calling connection, I break that down in terms of compliance. I have a, I have a call on leading compliance where I break that down and explain it. So unfortunately, there's no one overarching term. But the more you keep watching these, more you keep going to the group calls, the further you get in the master class, the more, more this makes sense for you. You will, it, it will all come, uh, as you go through each one, you know, each key lesson here, bit by bit. The master class for sure, like you get everything just mapped out for you week by week. So it is the most structured. That's just, that's the most structured part of this. But at any point, you can look at previous group calls, look around, and then, uh, get more familiar with, you know, my teachings and, you know, how I'm training my guys. Okay.

Um, and just off of that, when you go deeper into the attraction ladder, when you're in the connection and sexual stage, um, you have, you're basically at a fine line, like about to cross into relationship. And after a while of doing that with the same girl, eventually, like sometimes the question comes up is like, what are we? Um, cuz like, oh, I don't do this with friends. I wouldn't, I wouldn't kiss my friends and stuff like that. So, um, can you expand on that a little bit in terms of like keeping the relationship a casual thing, but not really casual, you know? What I mean? Just being honest and telling her what you want. I mean, guys overcomplicate this stuff. Now, look, there's calls I have out there on, you know, how to set up open relationships and, and how to really, would love it. I call it just on love and forming that. But the end of the day is, it's not, she's not going to make a relationship if you don't treat her like she's your girlfriend. And you can also just keep framing things as, we are having a great time. Uh, it's just be, it's just being open, honest that it's probably not me. At least that's not where it is right now. I'm enjoying being around you. I'm having a fun time, uh, seeing you and, and enjoying this. If you're enjoying being around me, cool. If not, then that's okay. But you can't, there's no like trickery. I don't want to go into like deceitful ways of trying to force a girl to like, oh, you know, leading her on thinking something it's not. If she's just on the hunt for a boyfriend, that's not you, then [ __ ] her then. It's not for you. It's, it's a bad connection there, right? It's, it's really though, like, you'll never have problems or drama or any issues with the girl when you're just letting him know, hey, I'm enjoying being around you. Not sure where things are going to go, but no matter what, I think we have a lot of fun together. And then sometimes they see them, they realize, like, you know what? Okay, yeah, I just want to have fun with this guy. I don't want anything that serious either. Don't, don't send off all the boyfriend signals if that's not what you want to be, right? Okay. No, that's, you'd be surprised how like, you could just be honest about some of this stuff, especially when you have a girl attracted to you. You can just be honest about this stuff, and they'll be like, okay, like, like they, they get it. It's, they're not like complete alien creatures. Uh, they have same desires we do. Yeah.

Totally. Um, I, I, I just didn't know how to express it correctly. Like one time I talked about, you can share a connection and have all the experiences that you would in a relationship, but not it being a relationship. Um, but I couldn't really counter back on, um, then what is it? Like, you're just friends doing all the stuff, friends with benefits? Is that what it is? Why do we need? I mean, this just goes into frame control. Granted, I haven't done a talk on that just yet. Later on, maybe I will. This goes into frame control of why do we need a label? Why can't we just be us? Okay, that's what I said. Why do we have to put things into a box? I mean, I don't know what we are. We're, we're two people who care about each other and have a lot of fun together. Whatever that is, that's what we are. Okay. Perfect. Um, and that was it. You answered my other question. So let someone else go. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Gore. Uh, all right, Manan. Hi, Jared. How are you doing? Fantastic. And this whole call was really nice and how you break down each and every aspect. Uh, so I have like a question which is like, I have many friends whom I'm really platonic with. So I was thinking like, can two platonic people be turned into getting attracted into me like in a sexual way? Yeah, absolutely. You need to break rapport with them and, and pull back, you know, pull back a bit. You can't just, uh, platonic friend. Uh, but really, what happens is if you start displaying attractive attributes and really, what you just start being flirty under the guise of, I'm just [ __ ] around, I'm just being flirty, you start building up this vibe and, and this, uh, I'm seeing them as something more than just a friend, right? Because she can say friend, friend, friend, all she wants, but if you act in non-platonic ways and act flirty with her and challenge her, while simultaneously building up your attractiveness, building up investment, and, and displaying attractive attributes, then she's not going to want to see you as a friend anymore. All of a sudden, things are going to develop. But sometimes girls are cemented just thinking, no, I just don't see it. I don't like it. In those situations, maybe you need to part from her and like peace out for a year or whatever, and then you see her again, and now it's like, you're a new guy. And it's like, you know, with time, new expectations. Before she's a friend, but now she doesn't know who you are. Too much time has gone by, and it restarts a whole new relationship. Uh, but also, it's instead of trying to exchange something that's already there. A lot of times, I just look at it as just pure abundance. Do you have a female friend? Awesome. It's platonic. Who gives a [ __ ]? Have a good platonic friend and let her add to your life. She can introduce to other friends, be your wing girl. It's better to just do things right from the start versus messing up perfectly good friendships just because you want to get laid, you know? Got it. Totally got it. So that's it from my side. Thanks. No problem.

Right, we got Allan. Hey, Jared. Thanks for the talk and answering all the questions. Um, my question comment pertains to, it's kind of like a follow-up to what Anthony was talking about because I can definitely, uh, identify with some of the issues that he's facing. Um, so I'm wondering if you can comment on like the importance of journaling, because that's something that I feel like I haven't really done enough of, where, you know, I'll go on interaction and I'll even record the interaction, but I don't really do enough work, do the work to follow up on it to see, really dig in deep into what I did wrong or what I could have done better. And also, uh, writing it down to, um, so that I can maybe reflect on it later. And so, so, um, I'm wondering if, uh, you have a way or suggestion to, um, for a way that we can kind of get in the habit of writing things down and reflecting upon it, because I, my problem, I think, is, uh, I do these things and I just don't really learn from it, uh, because I don't write them down or I don't reflect upon them later. Every time. So, so to answer your question, the going and every time you go out, you should be writing what's called an after action report. And I have a template for all you guys. You, you're seeing some of these guys write them in the discussion channel. You just look at their template, write down. I can give you one if you want from scratch. And every time you're out, every time you're dealing with it, actually write it down because it forces you to critically think about what you did, what you did right, what you did wrong, what you could do better, and it makes you relive it again so you can now analyze what happened and learn, learn the key lessons that are needed for next time. But what you're talking about, 100%. Every time you go on a date, if you're learning this, every time you go on a date, every time you're, um, you're trying to code approach, not even the next day, I would say that night before you go to bed, you should write up your after action report, right?

And so, do you think that we should also take a significant amount of time to go back and look at all of these reports that we write? Uh, it's not about going through all of you could, I mean, you could go back and, you know, and just see progressions and sticking points of what you're going through over time. It's more about right then and there, you're solidifying lessons that night to seep into subconscious versus having like historical records that you have to read through all of them again five months later. It's not, it's not about that. It's more about just forcing you that night to understand the key lesson and takeaways that happen. Okay. So by writing it down, you're kind of solidifying, not just by thinking about it, but, uh, you're using a different mode of, um, learning to kind of lock it in. Exactly. When you're writing, exact. I see. All right. That was my question. Thanks. All right. No problem. And last but not least, we have Ryan. Hey, Jared. I didn't want to ask you this question, but I figured so now. Ryan's done with that question. Since you just want. No, just mess with Ryan. Come back on. Come back on. Joking. I'm gonna feel really bad if you can't unmute after. Oh, sorry. There we go. Okay. What, what's your question? Sorry. Um, in the past, again, I'm reading this paragraph by paragraph. In the past, I've brought up to you that I've really struggled in field, specifically when I'm out by myself or out with shitty wings who don't approach or have the competency. I've said to you that when I'm out with other modern flirting students in field, I feel I have tremendous support, almost to the degree that it's a necessity for me. Likewise, when I'm doing infield with you or a coach, you asked me, well, what's the difference between being out with them and just having access to them on my phone in my pocket? And I really couldn't answer that at the time. I, I didn't understand. I was out at dinner last night with my two current wings. My one wing was flirting with the bartender right in front of me. About an hour after this, I feel I came to a realization about this. If I'm able to see other guys doing it when I'm out, for instance, like when I was in field with Brent, Vic, and Larry down in Florida, and I see them approaching, I feel a sense of security about this. Like, that's my security blanket. And that's probably unfortunately a codependency crutch or a vice. Sort of like, in that moment, I'm almost questioning everything I'm doing, wondering if it's okay, feeling uncertain about it. Worst yet, looking for permission. This could be a serious codependency issue that I need to get through. Is there anything you can remark upon this that think would help me get through this? Uh, yeah, I mean, we always feed off the vibe of other people. No matter what. I mean, I'm, I'm guilty of this too. So that's just a key thing. Uh, it's just that you can't, we can let it fuel us and, and better us, and obviously enjoy it. But we can't let it ever be an excuse. So, you know, even if you have to go by yourself, if you have to go with maybe a wing who's not the most motivated, it's still up to you to make it work, to make it happen, and not just give it like, basically a mantra. [ __ ] any excuses. Doesn't mean we can't utilize resources when we have them. Like if you have great wings, utilize them for sure. But [ __ ] the excuse that says you can't do stuff without him.

Do you think this could also relate to like that whole idea like in the, when we were cavemen and it was like, who's going to be the first one to eat the berries because, you know, we might die? So if we see, see one per, like monkey see monkey do, if we see one person doing it, it's like, oh, he's doing it, so I'll go approach too. I can do it too. Maybe. I mean, if, if whether it's yes or no, doesn't change the impact of what you have to do now. So it's kind of irrelevant. It shouldn't have to. It's, yeah, either way, it's you can't rely on other people. You can enjoy it. You can have it be a great tool. But [ __ ] any excuse that holds you back from getting what you want. I think it's almost that, that danger of the results oriented because we look to results to see if we're doing it right or doing it wrong. Like if we get a good result, it's like, okay, well, I did it. I got a good result. So what I'm doing must be right. As long as you're looking at results in the macro sense and not the micro sense. Okay. Okay. Good question, Ryan. Thank you. Jared. Problem. Okay. Now, last question. Uh, Anthony. Um, hey, Ch. Um, so I've, uh, I've been in touch with two girls. Um, uh, one that I met in France since last year, and she wanted to fly here, but the pandemic hit and that she couldn't come. And a second girl that I met through a dating app, and we've had a couple of video dates so far. Now, you know, um, the one who's in France, she's kind of acting a little bit distant now because I don't know, I think her goal and things is to want to start a and something like that. And maybe she doesn't sense that so much in me. And the whole long distance thing is killing it. So she started taking her distances, which now has somewhat led me to kind of chase her a little bit. And now I stopped doing that. And the second girl, she was like, oh, you know, like, I'm not going to stay in America. I don't like it here. But you want to stay here, so you definitely can't be my man. And we had another one or two dates after that after she said that. And now all of a sudden, like I'm starting to hear a lot less from her. Oh, you know, like, you know, the typical excuses, I'm busy, I'm this and that. So I started pulling off from that. So, is is that, is that the right thing, uh, to do? What I did is just to say, well, don't, don't, don't message, don't chase. If she does start messaging you back one day, if she does mirror that vibe with her, just like, just like she ignored, she left you messages read. I think it's fine what you're doing. You're just mirroring what she's giving you. Uh, but I would not make this the focus. I want you to go back to what you were seeing before, focusing on too many things, worrying about the girls, worrying about texting. Like, let's just get you understanding everything on a deeper level and moving bit by bit by bit versus going all over the place. Because that's how you're, we're going to easily slip back and go back to old problems. But, but, but that said, in this case, yeah, it's kind of, it's kind of irrelevant. We're here for the skill, not the girl. So with this one, I would just mirror back to her levels of investment. And if she's really just looking for a boyfriend, then just understand this is not a good match for you. Screw this. Let's learn this the right way and make it, uh, deep and more powerful with new girls that come into our lives because now we have new information and new understandings that will make it a deep, powerful connection and real attraction versus worrying about this wishy-washy one that was built on strong foundations. MH. By mirroring it, what she's doing, I think that's fine for now. Okay. Trust me, too much. Just focus everything here on flirting. Shut out the rest of the world. Go through the modules. You know, do what you just said, like everything you said earlier was spot on. Watch what happens in two months. I'm calling it out right now. Watch the difference. Sound good? Yeah. Don't worry about, let any of these girls distract you right now. Focus on it. Build it up bit by bit. You will see more improvement in the next two months if you do this correctly than the last year. I mark my words. You have a whole support system of here of brothers who are going to support you every step of the way. Reach out to us. Every single person here will help keep you accountable, help show you whatever you need, need to know, and just learn this the right way, bit by bit. Okay. Okay. Just use your resources. I'll do that. All right. Thank you, Anthony. Thank you.

All right, guys, that's it for the attraction ladder. Listen to this call again and again and again and again and again, okay? This is not a one and done. Understand it. Know it. Breathe it. Everything we do here is going to be, some, usually it's gonna have something to do, not everything, but so much of what we do is going to be flowing through this attraction ladder. It is essential if you want to truly master this area of life, okay? It's, it's just, you know, it's, it's the meat of what's going on here. So thank you, everybody. Until next time.