Transcription
What if all those things I did were the things that got me here? What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was?
It took me years to become the woman my mother raised. It took me 4 years, 7 months, and 3 days to do it. Without her. After I lost myself in the wilderness of my grief, I found my own way out of the woods. I didn’t know where I was going until I got there on the last day of my hike.
Thank you, I thought over and over again, for everything that trail had taught me, and everything I couldn’t yet know. How, in 4 years, I’d cross this very bridge. I’d marry a man in a spot almost visible from where I was standing. How, in 9 years, that man and I would have a son named Carver, and a year later, a daughter named after my mother, Bobbi.
I knew only that I didn’t need to reach with my bare hands anymore. That seeing the fish beneath the surface of the water was enough. That was everything… My life… like all lives… mysterious, irrevocable, and sacred… So very close… So very present… So very belonging to me… How wild it was… to let it be….