Transcription
What's good, y'all? Welcome back to the Onyx Report. Black masculine news for the day. Like, share, subscribe, join, hit the hype, support the show so we can continue to bring you this independent blackmail thought. I hope everybody's well.
Real quick, uh, somebody's asked about the hype button. And, um, I can only say that I, when I looked at it, I pretty much only looked at it on my phone when I'm listening to YouTube. And right where it shows the comment section before you open it, you can swipe to the, uh, you know, swipe to the side and it'll take you, uh, to the hype section. It's kind of like if you want to swipe between the regular comment section and the live comments. As soon as you swipe, you'll notice the hype option, uh, at least that's been my experience with finding it for those of you that haven't been able to. But I haven't tried it on a desktop yet. So, anyway, uh, if anybody has any advice about that in the comment section, please feel free to share with others who don't know how to find it. But support that if you would.
All right, things are going well. Just, uh, my son will be turning 21 next month and, um, you know, I think, uh, I'm going to go ahead and take him out to Vegas, so we might, uh, hang out out there. So I just picked up some tickets and I think it'll go well. But, uh, really proud of him. He's doing well. About to enter his senior year in college. So, uh, he's here for the summer and we're just kind of hanging out. About to go check out He-Man today. So, I might be doing a review, but we'll see what it has to, uh, what it has to offer.
Anyway, um, unfortunately, I got to start today's show with two rest in pieces, uh, or rest in peace statements. Um, all right, first and foremost, this is the Atlanta Blackar. And this is a piece on the, uh, passing of PBO Bryson, R&B singer. It reads, "My heart breaks. Peabo Bryson's final chapter wasn't about fame. It was about raising his 8-year-old son." And a viral video of them together has fans emotional. Um, it says he passed. The Grammy award-winning singer passed at age 75. Uh, the powerhouse voice behind classic Disney films like Beauty and the Beast and Whole New World died on Tuesday evening. His family did not reveal an official cause of death. However, reports indicate Bryson suffered a stroke just days before he passed away, making the news even more heartbreaking for fans. Uh, here he is here. Um, right, goes viral over sweet video showcasing his bond, uh, with his son. So there you go. Um, you know, to be 75 with a, you know, 8-year-old son that's, uh, hey, doing his thing. But, uh, respect to Peabo Bryson and the family. My condolence, condolences. Um, they said he transitioned peacefully at 5:00 p.m. East Coast time, Tuesday, June 2nd, 2026. Surrounded by love, or by the love of his family and those closest to him, it continued. "We are tremendously moved by the outpouring of love, prayers, and support from fans, friends, and colleagues around the world. While our hearts are broken, we find comfort in knowing how deeply Peabo was loved and how many lives were touched by his voice and generous spirit. His legacy and music will live on for generations to come, right?" Um, yeah. So, shout out to him. He was born Robert Peabo Bryson on April 13th, 1951, Greenville, South Carolina. Launched his solo career with the release of his debut album, *Peabo*, in 1976. Scored some of the biggest duets of his past four decades. Uh, Grammy hit *A Whole New World* with Regina Belle, *Beauty and the Beast* with Celine Dion. Upon learning the news about his passing, both female singers took to Instagram to express their thoughts. "With a heavy heart, I share the loss of my dear friend, duet partner Peabo Bryson," wrote Belle. "Thank you for the music, the memories, and the magic." Dion added she was heartbroken to learn of his passing. "His incredible voice and his kind spirit embodied the beauty of song and performance." So, anyway, shout out to the brother. Um, I wish, uh, his family, uh, the best. My condolences to them.
Uh, the second goes to Foster Emerson Silvers. All right. February 25th, 1960, uh, 1962 to May 30th, 2026. He was an American singer, songwriter, record producer, and multi-instrumentalist. He's best known for being a member of the family act, The Silvers, and hit single *Misdemeanor*. Died of prostate cancer on May 30th, 2026 at the age of 64. So, yeah, shout out to both of those brothers. Uh, it's been an interesting period, you know, this last couple years watching, you know, certain elders going down. So, uh, my condolences to them both.
All right. So today I want us to talk a little bit about what we call the dark side of female nature and what society refuses to discuss about it. So, as usual, I'm going to show you a couple things to kind of get to what I'm talking about. And it has to do with the black community and our unwillingness to, uh, confront, uh, black women's behavior. The extent to which black men are, are have been gaslit, gaslit, excuse me, uh, for years, for decades, in fact, for generations really, in regard to being able to openly critique black women. Now, black women can say whatever they want about black men. And most of the time, up until the last 10 to 15 years, black men have taken it on the chin, often in silence. But when there's, when it's time to return critique, especially if you're talking about community healing, uh, you can't have it without truth. And if truth can only be, you know, extended, uh, one way as far as gender is concerned, it's not going to work. But anytime black men do speak up, they're met with a certain reaction. And if you're not sure what I mean, check this out.
So, this is, um, Tasha K in conversation with Young Pharaoh. I'm only using this very short clip. Um, but, uh, let's check out what is being said. All right, let me turn this sound up here. And here we go.
>> My childhood was great until my, uh, the the black women in my family pushed my.
>> Oh, don't, don't try to.
>> Yeah. No, no, no. I'm doing that. I'm doing that. Don't do that. You gaslighting. You gaslighting now.
>> I'm doing that. You got.
>> So, what's interesting here is he hasn't even finished the sentence yet, and she's already overtalking him. She's already dismissing him and accusing him of gaslighting, which is interesting, right? But when you can't even voice the critique, you can't even get it out of your mouth. It's interesting to see. I'm going back up a little.
>> My family pushed my.
>> Oh, don't, don't try to do that. You gaslight. You gaslighting now. I'm doing that. You gaslighted.
>> Because if the same thing keeps happening to you, you have to take a step and take a look. Listen, all the, all the, all the black women.
>> That's interesting. You know, when they start talking about, you got to look at yourself, but when introspection is always one way and you're not able to receive critique, it seems like an excellent way to deflect so you don't actually have to hear the critique in the first place. And I think this has been happening on a mass scale in the black community for some years now.
>> Same thing keeps happening to you. You have to take a stand. Listen, all the, all the, all the black women, women in my family were toxic. My grandma, my grandma used to get drunk and wave a shotgun at us. Toxic. I had another aunt used to buy all my cousins freezers of candies. Never bought me. Toxic. Used to let my other cousins play the game. Never let me play the game. Toxic. Every black woman in my life that I've ever been in the care of has done me filthy. And I was a kid.
>> And you just now realized that?
>> I've been realized that. That's why I don't with none of them.
>> So who you.
>> I stay loyal. Who am I?
>> Yeah.
>> Now, this is interesting because he's, he's trying to level a critique at black women in the community. And this is where a lot of black men grapple. And this is why on this channel we focused on creating a vocabulary because in the past, whenever black men have tried to voice their concerns, and we're going to see another example of this in a moment, there, we get, you know, tied up. And the reason we get tied up in trying to articulate something we don't seem to be able to is because we've been socially engineered in black communities to not critique mama. So it's difficult to articulate it even as grown men. Right? This is why I spent so much time developing a vocabulary to do so because I came up in an environment, even in the academy, where black women told me the only vocabulary I needed was a feminist one. And I found it difficult to articulate the issues black men were experiencing using this vocabulary that was not developed for us. So when I started to develop my own vocabulary, I found it so much freer and so much easier to articulate myself. Now, where he gets caught up is not only not having a vocabulary for his critique, but he's, he's trying to level a community-wide critique, but doing so starting from his personal experience with family. Now, he starts out pretty strong when he talks about his grandfather, you know, waving a shotgun in front of him. That's that's critical. That is toxic. He shifts then to examples of not being bought candy or not being allowed to play games, which sounds trivial in comparison, but to a child, I understand. The problem is when you try to transition and elevate that argument on a community-wide level without the vocabulary to do so, you sound scattered. And the first thing a feminist is going to do is use that scattered presentation to suggest you don't know what you're talking about. But it's not that you don't know what you're talking about. It's just that you just don't have the vocabulary to do it. That's what he's trying to develop. And she's taking advantage of the fact that he, that he doesn't have it to try and dismiss his argument before he can figure out how to say it. And that's kind of the thing we grapple with over here. So, I'm going to back up a little bit. But here we go.
>> So, who you.
>> Stay loyal. Who am I?
>> Yeah. Who you now? Black women. White women.
>> Black. I've never had sex.
>> Now, that's a dismissive gesture right there. Right. That's a dismissive gesture. If she can get him to admit that he's having sex with white women, in the eyes of many in the community, male and female, you know, uh, this is a dismissal of his argument. So, if he levies a critique at black women in the community and he's having sex on a regular basis with white women, then he really doesn't have a critique. He just prefers white women over black women and he's brainwashed and he's, you know, white supremacy has got him and that's the end of the discussion. It's like a checkmate move, right? But it's not genuine. It's not about actually hearing what he has to say. And as she said earlier, looking internally, introspectively, and examining if black men have a worthy critique. That's not what it's about. And I'm not, I, look, Young Pharaoh, I don't know anything about him. So, this is not about supporting him because I, you know, I agree with his his arguments over time. I'm, I'm just looking at this snippet of a video and I'm saying if this same conversation happened at a family reunion or a Thanksgiving dinner between a younger black male and an older black woman, family or not, these same types of dismissive practices in the discussion on her behalf would be the norm in the black community. And I know this because not only have I experienced it, I've had at this point thousands of men confirm the same stories to me over a 15-year period. The same deflective conversational tactics. And then, of course, we don't, we don't even have to talk about how many times we've seen it on social media, right? These same gestures. I mean, Kevin weaponized his channel against it because he knew they were coming. And sure enough, they did. And he would call it out while it was happening and then challenge it. So, you know, I just want to point that out. That's another dismissive, dismissive tactic, right? First, she's going to shame him. First, she's going to talk over him, then she's going to shame him, then she's going to, you know, subtly accuse him of sleeping with white women. And even if he did, that doesn't necessarily discount his argument, but she knows it successfully discounts his argument in the black community, particularly amongst black feminists, black women, and many black men.
>> Women, white women. Black. I've never had sex with a white woman in my life. I'm 28 years old. But that don't mean I can't tell black women about their self. Who the hell is black women to think that we can't tell them about yourself? When they got a problem with us, they let the world, they don't just let us know. They let the world know. They come up to your job, try to humiliate you. But why can't we say, sweetheart, you need to be a little bit more feminine?
>> So, how did your aunts, your mom, cousins, how did that affect your life coming up? 'Cause I've had toxic uncles. They used to get drunk, but it never affected my life.
>> See, so she just immediately skipped past what he said. She didn't address it. She didn't hear it. She skipped right past it and went to slander, right? Dismissal and slander. Well, how did, how did these individual women, and notice she didn't say black women. She said, "How did the individual women in your family affect your life? I had toxic uncles. They didn't affect mine." Right? This all of this is designed to make him look like an idiot. Right.
>> Life. How did it affect your life to the point where you feel as if almost every black woman is toxic?
>> Okay. Before I answer that, I don't feel every black woman is toxic. I feel black women in America are toxic.
>> 'Cause I talked to.
>> You obviously ain't. You obviously ain't been African and seen African women.
>> They might, they might, they might be, but I talked to some women from Africa.
>> Okay.
>> And they don't act like that.
>> Okay. You can't generalize all black women in America. Black men for generations. I mean, this is interesting. And I'm not, I'm not subtly trying to suggest that generalizing is the way to go. I'm saying one-way critique about generalizing makes as much sense as generalizing. Now, on a particular level, in conversation, in human communication, generalization is going to happen. If we're going to talk about anybody beyond ourselves, we're going to have to generalize in terms of more than one person. There's some kind of generalization that's going to happen on one level or another. And I'm not trying to be disingenuous because I do know what she means when she's talking about generalizing. She's talking about doing so writ large with no, you know, academic proof, no analysis, no data. I get the argument and I agree with the argument. I just find two things problematic about it. One, the way you use it against men who are being critical of black women, but you don't use it with the same kind of verve when black women do the same, and they've been doing so for generations, especially in public media. And as, uh, Young Pharaoh said, public media that goes around the world, there's been no critique, particularly by any significant population in the black community, particularly black women, about black women generalizing against black men. The second issue I have with it is, you know, the, the kind of disingenuousness about how human communication works. There is going to be some form of generalization. Now, we want to do this with as much credibility and as much objectivity as possible, ideally, but again, if that's not your training and you're just talking about these issues, at least give the man room to finish his sentences. She went from, you know, first trying to whittle his critique down to the three women in his family that upset him and then say he can't make judgments about black women as a whole. But many black men listening to this, whether they know anything about Young Pharaoh or not, can attest to what he's at least talking about at this current moment. They can at least attest to that, right?
>> You, you understand that we're taught that rhetoric to think that our people are a certain way. And that's just surprising coming from you.
>> Black. No. So we're taught the rhetoric that the stereotype is what she's referring to, that black women are loud and disagreeable and argumentative and so on and so forth, right? So they have no problem calling it a stereotype then. But when talking about black men writ large as being deadbeat dads and triflin, and then all of a sudden there's no such thing as stereotypes, that their experience is accurate. And I'm just saying at this point, either one of us is wrong or both of us is wrong. In other words, if you're going to suggest that a one-way critique is acceptable when women make it and they, they must be telling the truth because nobody's telling them that they're using nothing but stereotypes. And even though Tommy Curry has proved that they, that black feminists in particular have been using racist white scholarship to frame black manhood in the data, let alone what we've heard at the family table or in our own relationships from black women about black men. If all of that is somehow acceptable, but when men speak up, it's that we're we're whitewashed, we're we're brainwashed, we're we're we've been taken in by white supremacy and we're using racist stereotypical talking points about black women. Either this one-sidedness thing is going to work, you know, and we're just going to have to accept that this is how it's going to stay. It's a stalemate that women are going to refuse to step out of, and we got to react to that. Or we got to accept that both sides are using it. But here's the problem. When it's actually something that can be documented. And this is where, in many respects, social media, the internet has stepped in because you actually do have an accounting for millions of people operating in this fashion to such a point where I can't tell you, you know, how many brothers can say, I've heard the stereotypes. I acknowledge the historicity of them, but I've also experienced this from countless women. When, when you've talked to 60 and 70-year-old men who've been married four times and have had the same kinds of experiences, and I can see if it was just a few, but when it's a regular occurrence, right, abusiveness, disrespect, you know, an attempt to take money and, and especially in, in family courts and, and take everything he has and then move on to the next man to do the same kinds of things. The manipulative use of institutional power granted to black women in the form of family courts, even in terms of law enforcement, the capacity for her to accuse men of anything, mostly, whether it's paternity fraud where she can manipulate him, or false accusations of abuse or rape. And those things are unquestioned. I mean, these are powers that were granted to black women, not black men. And then we're going to be disingenuous about the way those were used against black men. You've, we've basically got a history of one-sided complaints in the black community that have gone public. And many kids growing up, particularly in single mother households, are taught that these things are true. And when they grow into adulthood and start to experience what men have been silently saying under their breaths to each other about what their experiences with black women have been, it's a problem. But it's a problem that many of these women are trying to remain kept swept under the rug as it pertains to critiquing their behavior. This does not work. And it is currently shattering the black community. The, the inability and unwillingness to hear black men, let alone take what black men are saying seriously, has led to a, a dramatic shattering when it comes to dating and mating. So much so that you really have a movement of men who are either going monk or going elsewhere to find partners. And still, we're at this juncture where women refuse to listen. But here's the thing. Men are not begging them to hear them. Men are just responding. They're adapting. And this is apparently frustrating many women even more because many women, many men have disengaged from the conversation. Now, here I will, I'll simply say I still think the vocabulary is useful. And this is one of the reasons I keep creating it so that men who are just coming into this, like coming off a divorce or coming off a series of situations where they're like trying to understand, especially young men, trying to understand this gender dynamic and what's going on, trying to see if they're crazy. I want them to learn the vocabulary we've been talking about so they can explain themselves and their own experiences, if to no one else, to themselves. To, I'm not giving all of this information solely for the sake of you debating the women in your life. If that works for you, great. If that's what you need it for, I have no problem with you using it that way. But ultimately, I try to develop these, these vocabulary points specifically for black men to articulate themselves to themselves. So, you know, you're not going crazy. These things that are happening to you are genuinely happening. Here we go. This is almost over. She's going to kick into a commercial in a second.
>> I grew up in a ghetto. Not going to lie to me.
>> But you grew up on. Let me back up a little way. And that's just surprising coming from you.
>> Black. No, I grew up in a ghetto. You're not going to lie to me.
>> But you grew up grounded up in a. I put it in.
>> This is where she goes into a commercial. We don't need to go there. But anyway, the point I'm simply getting at here is there's a disingenuousness about dealing with black men, about hearing black men, you know, and their respon, and, and she does all the textbook responses from talking over him to deflecting to shaming to disrespecting him, trying to make him look stupid. Well, really what we call gaslighting. She does all of these things in a matter of a minute. And this is very common for black men. But I bring this up in the context of this video because we're talking about the dark side of female nature that society refuses to discuss, right? And one of the major aspects of it in the black community is the extent to which men have, are still working on being able to articulate their critiques in a family environment where they've been shamed from even thinking about criticism in regard to women in the first place. Right? And so we're dealing with a collective inability to do so. Now, the men in the space that listen to my work are, you know, usually can articulate themselves, you know, from, you know, an introductory level to a masterful, you know, masterful, masterful level, but that's not common. You know, we're a small percentage, you know, of black men as a whole. Many of whom do not know, not only how to articulate their critiques, but have not been given license to do so. There are men that will physically attack you for critiquing black women. And even though they may share your experiences and your frustration, have never been given license to, license to articulate themselves and don't know how. Many of them don't even know to do so because of that social training we've all experienced, right?
Here's another example. Now, this is a comedian that I really enjoy. I really enjoy Alisa De. I've seen him in concert. Um, I think live. I've seen him once. My sister took me to see him, uh, in LA, and I've seen all his work on YouTube. I've gone to his actual website. I think I pretty much watched every concert. Uh, I think what hit me to him, he has a piece, uh, you can find on YouTube about Father's Day, and it was brilliant. That was my introduction to Alisa De. So I, I really enjoy his comedy. Muslim brother went to prison for drug dealing, spent years inside, got out in the mid-90s, you know, and, and has built himself up from there in comedy and so on and so forth. Has a family. Brilliant storyteller. I'd say one of the best story comedic storytellers since Bill Cosby. However, in this particular instance, something takes place with him and his father. And I heard this, even though this is just a clip, I heard him talk about this, uh, in his one of his last comedy specials, but check this out.
My daddy was, um, came to me. I'm at his house and he said, "Hey man, why when you on stage, you don't never say nothing bad about your mama?" I said, "Cuz ain't nothing bad to say about my mama." He said, "You think you know your mom?" I'm quite sure I know my mom. That walked off and came back and put a picture down on the table. Turned over. If I flip this this picture over and my mama is any type of compromising position, I don't know what's going to happen. It ain't going to be good, bro. You ain't got to do me like this. You just tell me. I flip the picture over. It's a picture of me on his shoulders, but I can see like it's people in the background and I'm like, man, what is this? You want to know about this, Mr. Story, man? Let me tell you a story. So, my mama had called him and asked him to keep me. And it was a Saturday and he's like, I'm going to Funkadelic concert. I keep him on Sunday. I'm like, now I got to go to work. We need to keep him. Man, my daddy, he walking out his back gate. All he got on his mind is Funkadelic. He turn around and I'm on the hood of this car. Your mama answer the phone. Nothing. I had to sneak you in a Funkadelic concert. I was gone. My daddy was paining me.
Now, I can tell you the whole, he does this whole bit in his concert and it's hilarious when he tells you the story about his father taking him to a Funkadelic concert. It's absolutely hilarious, man. He does a lot of comedy about his father, you know, and he even talks about, uh, the end of his father's life and meeting siblings that he didn't know about, even now, through his father. So his, his comedy on his father is in-depth and he even talks about moving in with him at a young age as a kid and, you know, goes through all kinds of experiences and I can identify with some of that. He said his father was a drug dealer in the 80s and that's kind of where he got the initial introduction to it and his father, you know, brought him into helping him with that process until he got jumped into drug dealing himself. So there was a lot to critique and he's done so about his father and, you know, some of it was respectful, some of it he just went full in. But when you listen to the comedy about his mother, and I'm saying this, you know, having absorbed, you know, pretty much everything I could find on his comedy, you know, online, there's, there's very little critique. There's very little criticism. And that isn't to say that he should be trying to tear her apart, but it simply reveals to me how difficult a time many of us even have conceptualizing critiques for the women we've been conditioned to never critique. Now, he's made jokes about her, you know, spanking him and, and misremembering the discipline from his childhood. He's joked about her in court, you know, trying to, you know, get him off from charges in a, you know, just a funny way that didn't make any sense. You know, he's had little kind of tiny jabs, but it's very different. And, and the thing that gets me is I go back to Patrice O'Neal, and one of the things Patrice O'Neal said was, you know, when you become a man and you start to understand, and this is no disrespect to Alisa Dee. I'm not suggesting he's not a man or he doesn't know these things. I'm just pointing out the ways in which the way we're socially trained in black families, we're not trained to really be critical of black women's behavior. It takes quite a bit for many of us to be able to go there. But what I'm saying here is that in, you know, his ability to critique his mother is, I think, stifled. And what Patrice O'Neal says that speaks to that is when you become a man, you, you, you really start to see that your, your mother was your father's woman. And he doesn't say it like that. He uses his own verbiage for that. And as harsh as it was when I first heard it, I understood what he meant. You know, my mother will always be my mother in my head. It took, it I didn't even get introduced to the things she did to my father as his woman until I was over 35. And when I finally was able to sit down with my father, ready to finally hear him break it down, he didn't even remember half the stuff because at that point he was in his 70s, you know what I mean? He could only give me the, the broad strokes. But the reality of it was is I was never going to understand my mother fully in terms of what she did to my father, um, because in my mind she was my mother. But having heard similar critiques about me from, you know, long-term relationship exes, the same things I heard my mother say about my father, and I'm like, "Wait a minute. This woman, what she said about me was absolute bullshit." And I know she made half of this up, but I've heard almost word for word these very same critiques of my father from my mother my whole life. And if it was made up against me, you know, how much of this was made up against his father? These were, these, you know, these things hit many men. Some men get it early on. Many of us don't get it till we're in our 30s and 40s, sometimes older than that, before it really hits you. What it means to say your mother was your father's woman. Meaning the things that she told you is what a woman would tell somebody about how they experienced a man in a relationship. But that doesn't mean it's necessarily true. And even if your father was unconventional, even if he was, uh, by traditional standards, that doesn't mean he was wrong 100% of the time. It just means we've learned to focus our critiques on men and not necessarily on women in the same kind of way, especially mothers. Mothers tend to stay void of criticism. So, if you listen to Sadiq's comedy, you'll hear very little hard-hitting comedy about his mother. And I, I tend to be one who believes that human beings are capable of anything. So, you know, but sometimes we're just not geared to hear those things. So, in one vein, we've heard an interview with Young Pharaoh and Tasha K where you can hear the critique against black women can't even be voiced. And then we come to Ali Sadik and we listen to a comedian who is brilliant but at the same time has difficulty when it comes to conveying the negativity on his mother's part. And it's the same with his sisters. I mean, you know, one of his sisters passed, God rest the dead, but, you know, he had a couple other sisters. And all his comedy is very lightweight when it comes to the women in his family. Now, he'll tear into his father, his sons, his brothers, his cousins, all his male family. He will tear down to the ground. To the women, not so much. Now, I'm not saying that he needs to tear into the women to make us feel good. What I'm saying is this to me is an example of how difficult it is for many of us to, to pull together a critique because of how we've been socialized regarding black women. We don't know how to do it. Right? That's part of the problem.
But there's an interesting shift that takes place when women start to critique themselves. Now, this is Prince Ella. This is not somebody who I followed to any great extent, but I've seen clips of her over the years, and to what I could understand, she was a traditional feminist misandrist for a long time, lesbian, if not by and at, and I think lesbian, though, really. But she made a shift not too long ago after a relationship with a woman where, you know, she claimed she was able to start actually understanding men's critiques, black men's critiques of black women. She said she, she understood it after dating them. Right. Here we go.
>> What do you think the most uncomfortable truth about women is that that you really that's rarely spoken about? That women are a thousand times more narcissistic than males. I don't think. I think the entire human species is a narcissistic species. The whole species is narcissistic. But I believe that the most uncomfortable truth for the average, um, person is that women are actually narcissistic, more narcissistic than males. It's not that males are not narcissistic, it's that women are a thousand times more narcissistic. I've never heard a saying that, "Oh, you just have to love your father no matter what he did because that's your only dad. You only get one." I never hear that. I always hear it about a woman. "No matter what a mother did to her children, no matter what, that's your mama."
And I, I believe that's what we're seeing with Alisa De just a moment ago. I absolutely believe it. But let me let her continue.
>> You still need to love your mom no matter what she did. I hear women say, "No matter what a woman does, a man should never put his hands on her." And women believe they can do anything to you and expect that you accept it and still worship the ground they walk on. So if anything is going to improve, the truth about the psychology of women has to be revealed. It's a dark place. It's not, it's not peaches and cream because women think that they can abuse you. Women think that they can talk to you any kind of way. They think they can put their hands on you and then they expect you to still speak of them as angels. That's bad because that behavior trickles down to their children. So they end up their children. Women are very to their children and they don't even understand in what ways they are to their children, and you can't tell them anything because they do no wrong in their eyes. I try to tell women that even when it comes to their sons, most women set their sons up for failure and they don't even understand why they set their sons up for failure. And they don't understand this because they don't understand the nature of the male, the physiology, the neurology of the male. They don't understand the male's existence. Most parents, especially specifically women, because most, most single parents are women, that you hear them say something like, "I just wanted to give my child the things I never had." And if it's a woman saying that and she has a son, this is bad because you're not thinking about the development of your child. You're trying to make up for your own childhood through your child, giving them things that you never had, that you wanted. You're not giving them what they need. You're not tailoring the new environment or your behaviors or your parenting style around what your current child needs. You are thinking about yourself. Well, if you're a woman and you have a son, you are subconsciously thinking of your son as your daughter, yourself. You're treating him like a girl because you were a girl and you start to give the children things that they don't need. That ends up sabotaging the development of the child. And they are totally unaware of this. So I believe that more information, more knowledge, more education can help with women seeing their own psyche. Relationships should be a mirror to the individual. Every person that you get with is going to reflect back to you who you are. You have to be attuned enough to know that this.
Now, that's interesting. And I've heard this in other, you know, in other settings. So she's not the first to say this. This is not the first time I've heard it. But I think what she said is important in this conversation for just a particular reason, something we just saw. She said, "Relationships are a mirror, right? They, they basically show you about yourself. The people you attract, the situations that take place, you know what I mean? Even the breakups in many respects are a reflection of who you are. And if you're wise enough to observe and and learn from those scenarios, then, you know, you can continue to grow and learn about yourself, whether the situation went well or it didn't, right? But what she just said about the mirror idea is something that Young Pharaoh just introduced to Tasha K when he was like, "What makes you think we can't tell you about you? The same women we've grown up with in families live nearby." I used to get into these arguments with a couple of feminist exes that I had over the years when they would say, "Well, you can't talk about black women." One woman even said, "You can't, you can't laugh at a black woman." And I'm like, who the hell do y'all think y'all are where you can tell black men that they ain't, but I can't laugh at you? I can't make fun of you. I can't talk about the things I experienced at your hands. Somehow you're supposed to just be, you know, exempt from any critique. But as Young Pharaoh did say, you can tell the world that we're monsters. You know, you can tell the world that we're monsters. Now, again, I want to clarify. I'm not talking about all of Young Pharaoh and what he does or what he agrees with. You know, for some people, I get, for some situations, I get, uh, these people that come and tell me, well, you know, if you, if you advocate for anything someone says, you're advocating for everything they've said, and you must, you must really dig Young Pharaoh or whoever it is. No, no. It's a conversation about what he said in a given interview, and I'm responding to that. I don't believe that because I agree with some, with some like right with Prince Ella. You know, I don't, I haven't followed her work to a great extent, but I've listened to her over the years. There's a lot of she said I don't agree with. Doesn't mean I can't agree with what she's saying here without somehow supporting her entire platform. Not what I'm saying. And we got to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time, God damn it. Anyway, so I'm going to let her finish, but I just wanted to clarify what she says about the mirror is important because that's what Young Pharaoh introduced to Tasha K and she dismissed it. What makes you think you're above critique from the person that grew up in your household, right? The little, the, the brothers, the cousins, the fathers, the husbands, the boyfriends. We've been around y'all your whole lives and you're devoid of critique. Really interesting.
>> I'm getting back. It is because I'm projecting something and I'm getting feedback. What is it that I'm doing? What is it about my thought process that's bringing this back to me? What is drawing me to the types of relationships? What is it that is showing me? People don't use relationships as feedback as they should. But they give you information that you really need to not only help yourself but to help your offspring. And so for women, I believe since they are the first teachers of the child, there needs to be far more education in her direction about not only the nature of herself but the nature of her sons, the male. Women are inadvertently doing things that harms the male's development, and then they'll get out and say, "That ain't my fault. He needs to man up." We need to stop the conversation about what men need to do. Do men have their faults? Absolutely. I've spoken on these faults. I've called out a lot of male behavior. I mean, I wrote a book called *41 Shades of Men*, the pursuit to seduce and use you. But what's the conversation on women? 'Cause they are the first teachers of the child, you know. Um, so I feel sorry for a lot of the children, especially the involuntary celibates, because they are, they are a danger, and women don't understand these are your sons. These are your sons. Women procreate indiscriminately. They don't have a, they don't have, they don't value the things that are valuable. And a lot of times women are unable to recognize threats. So women are attracted to like the worst of the worst. They like criminals. They do like criminals. They like, they like psychopaths. They like a lot of things, and these traits end up getting passed down to their offspring. So what happens is you choose jacked-up genetics, and now your son is socially awkward, but he's still a male, and he's still going to have sexual desires. And then you, you don't nurture him the correct way and you make him weak, unable to fight the woes and the challenges in society. And then he gets out here and struggles with the most fundamental human need, especially the male need. You create a violent and a very dangerous person to come out into the world.
>> Really?
>> If he has opposing views on something as a black woman.
>> God dang it. All right.
So, really what she's referring to here is, um, let me transition out of that. This thing is just not working with me today. Computer's moving a little slow. Anyway, what she's referring to here is really feminization, right? And this is happening across race in the West, but in the black community, there's always a double level to it because of the history of what we've already endured. So, black men have been, uh, undermined and underdeveloped systemically, structurally for, uh, you know, generations. But when you're talking about the rise of the era of feminization, what we're seeing take place, right, is the, the kind of further underdevelopment of black men in environments where black men have been pushed out, right? We always talk about the black family as something the black male abandons. But when you look at it systemically and you look at the resources available to women, particularly from the 1970s forward, the capacity to push men out of families using the family court, using law enforcement, you know, using, uh, child support and alimony judgments that men are, you know, many men are are unable to pay, right? The overwhelming majority of men, uh, wrapped in child support debt make about $10,000 a year. This is not an accident. This has been going on for generations. These kinds of things, you know, get where women have gotten greater access to implementing against men powers and abilities, you know, extended through the state has further dismantled and underdeveloped black men. And so what she's talking about is a process where black men have been effectively removed from the family, right? Whether they individually abandoned it or black women have been able to push them out. Now, statistically, we know that black men are the most interactive fathers and have managed to stay present in families far more than the numbers suggest. But that doesn't mean that his standing and decision-making capacity in families is the same either. But my point here is simply that based on that history, when you add feminization to it, this has not served black men and black boys well. Right. The other thing that I think is interesting in this dynamic is she's talking about, uh, or she's representative of, you know, many studs that have begun to question, right? They've really begun to question, um, how they've been engaging with women. And this is something we've seen in the last, uh, number of years. Um, I've seen it mostly with comedians, but I've also seen it, you know, just on social media. You have a number of, of what they call studs who are experiencing women the way men do and they're reaching a point where they don't want to do it anymore. They're, you know, I've seen videos, you know, heard songs, watched comedians talk about.
Being taken for granted, being used as an ATM machine, as a temporary father, but when they try and instill discipline, they're they're they're told to shut up. They're told to not, you know, touch those children, so on and so forth. And they're starting to complain about that treatment. And it's interesting to hear because, you know, you're almost hearing the same exact critiques that men have been stating for the longest. And that is because, contrary to what feminists have framed, it's not a gender critique. It's a critique almost anyone would have in the same situation where they're being used for resources and not being extended the basic, u, you know, respect that a human being who's taking care of another and her family should often be extended. Right?
So many studs are starting to reach this, and I think Prince Ella might even be the face of this kind of underground experience where you have them coming forward and saying, "I don't want to play this role. I refuse it." You have some of them saying they're going to go back to men. You have some of them talking about going monk, right? You have some proclaiming that they'll never deal with another woman with children. It's real interesting to hear. And there's a lot of these stories. I've covered a few of them, but there's a lot of these stud stories about women who are tired of being, uh, about studs being, uh, abused and exploited and abused here. We know the abuse rates in the lesbian population are the highest. But I actually wasn't referring to intimate partner violence in that when I used that term "abuse" just a moment ago. I was talking more so about the abuse of being exploited and dehumanized for resources and cast out when convenient. More and more studs are having those experiences and coming to grips with the fact that there is a dark side to female nature that they were not able to see until they stepped into a traditionally male role. And Prince Ella might be the face of that because it wasn't until she stepped into that role that she started to see what men were saying. Prior to that, she sounded like every other misandre on the internet.
So, what we're looking at here in today's video, right, we're looking at the ways in which you have men, black men who have not been socially trained or socialized to even think critically about black women and have to do so uphill, actually struggle with the process of doing so and often find themselves unable to, you know, because of how we've been socialized. But you can see examples of people coming to that point where they're able to, like Young Pharaoh in that given clip, or like Prince Ella here, where they are able to come to critiques, but it go, you got to go through hell to get to it. Young Pharaoh had to go through hell, apparently according to himself, to get to that point where he could raise the critique. Prince Ella had to be exploited before she could actually even see that these things are happening.
And this is why it's so important that men have to learn to speak up because nobody's going to bring it to you. Nobody's going to teach you how to do it. And ain't nobody coming to help you. At best, another black man might. But that is something that's relatively new, 'cause prior to the last 15 years, black men helping each other interpret and understand women's behavior was something that happened on the low, under the table, at the barbershop when the barbershop was all men. But as soon as women invaded the barbershop, you know, and whether it's studs getting haircuts or whether it's, you know, the kind of thematic idea of the woman's salon being physically attached to the men, bar males, barbershops, you know, just for the sake of navigating this economy, the reality of the barbershop culture has kind of been shifting over the years. Men's spaces have been invaded. Whether you're talking about the Boy Scouts, whether you're talking about the locker room, or whether you're talking about the barbershop, women across race in the West have been on a mission to invade male spaces. Men are not doing the same with female spaces. So women have been navigating and conversating amongst each other about their issues. Men have had a harder time doing it until we came to social media.
But that said, keep pushing forward. I want to know your thoughts and experiences with these subjects. Break it down for me in the comment section. I look forward to checking it out. Y'all be well. Peace.