Transcription
Three minutes left, or something.
Okay, one second.
Okay, no worries. Take your time.
Do you think that women should be obedient to their husbands?
Yeah, I think that I think that they should be obedient to their husbands when their husbands give them a rational request or directive. But I think that husbands and wives should lead each other, uh, to Christ and to the goodness of their family.
So, what do you define as rational?
Uh, in accord with reason. So, something that doesn't go against what reason would dictate.
Can I have an example of something, like, I'm, I'm assuming crimes, of something that's rational or irrational?
Yeah. Irrational.
Yeah. If a if a husband says, like, obviously no crimes, right?
Yeah. Or if a husband says, you know, I want you to, um, lose a massive amount of weight, for example, that would put someone's, if her husband wants you to do something to change your body that would put your health at risk, I would say that's irrational.
Okay. But a normal amount of weight would be fine?
I would say, I, I would say I think it's fine for husbands and wives to want each other to be healthy. But it's very quickly that if a husband or a wife asks for a person to be of a certain weight, that can easily be more out of a desire for vanity than for the other person's wellbeing.
What about health?
What about health? I think it's, I think it's good for husbands and wives want each other to be healthy.
No, I'm asking the husband. Why do you always bring it back to the husband?
Because I'm asking about the wife. I didn't ask you about the husband. I'm saying, I'm saying for the husband, is he, can he ask that his wife stays a certain weight? Is that rational?
It's rational for him to ask her to be healthy, but staying at a certain weight your entire life, that's not necessarily going to be healthy. Like saying, "Oh, I want you to always be 120 lbs." Like, "Hey, I got pregnant. Oh, kind of getting past that now. I don't like that." That's, that would be irrational.
That would. So, that would he would not be allowed to do that under your thought.
I think it would be insane if a man said that his wife needs to stay a certain.
Why does, why? Like, what's wrong with men having standards? What's wrong with that? Pearl, you do realize that that's absolutely, like, literally there was a joke in the office where BJ Novak says, "Some supermodels lose weight when they're pregnant." That shows that he's just an insane chauvinistic person. To demand that a wife stay at a certain weight, even though as you get older, you naturally gain weight. And especially when you get pregnant, you gain at least 9 lbs of weight. That would be insane to demand that someone stay at their certain weight.
Women lose it all the time.
I fail to see how any of this is relevant to marriage. By the.
Well, I, I'm, what I'm trying to understand is your mindset.
Mhm.
So, so why, why can't men have standards in marriage? Because if you're saying that men can't have standards in their own marriage, like, this, this is this is the.
Well, you're, you're saying it's irrational for a guy to demand his wife stay a certain weight. Why?
Why is that?
To stay a certain weight during their entire marriage.
Why, why is that wrong?
Because bi.
I've seen women do it.
Would you like me to answer the question?
Go ahead.
Okay. Because biologically, we, our bodies change over time. They'll naturally gain and lose weight in different circumstances. And your worth as a spouse, whether you are a husband or a wife, is not derived by your weight. That's just a shallow thing. Now, I think that both husbands and wives should encourage the other to encourage.
It's your job to be attractive.
I think husbands and wives should both maintain attractiveness.
But why do you always, like, why do you always have to bring it back? Cuz right now, why do you only focus on women right now?
Because we're asking about the deal for men.
So, I'm looking at this from the man's point of view. What does the man get out of it? Is this a good deal? He can't even ask for an in-shape wife.
He gets a woman.
Can I answer the question? Can I, can I, can I answer the question?
I'm asking. He gets a woman who's promised to stay with him, even though statistically he'll gain 30 or 40 pounds.
And, and that's the right. Because women, women's job has far more of a job to be beautiful than men. You know, men's job is to protect and provide.
So, do women, do women, what is wrong with a man asking that she stays a certain weight?
'Cause it's, 'cause it's shallow.
It's fine to ask someone to be healthy. And it's fine to encourage your spouse to maintain attractiveness, not to just let yourself go. But that's the same for husbands and wives. Neither should just let themselves go. But at the same time, each one should, each one should be merciful, knowing that time and age come for all of us.
The reason that the obesity, I've looked that up before. The reason that the men are more overweight and than women is because you included, you don't look at visceral fat. So, like, when men are a high, very high, like muscle percentage, they're still considered overweight more so than women. So, a more accurate way to look at that is visceral fat. And women have higher rates of visceral fat than men. So, actually, women are more, and if you look at extreme obesity, women are more obese.
So, yeah. So, I don't know why you're like, kind of lying with that stat trying to act like men are equally obese. They're not.
Well, men are, men are still overweight, but that still doesn't, that still doesn't show. None of that shows marriage is a bad deal. Should men marry women that have had abortions?
Should men marry women that have had abortions?
Should men marry women that have had abortions?
I wouldn't say it's a dealbreaker.
Should men marry women with STDs?
I wouldn't say. Women have herpes. Should men marry them?
I'm going to answer. I would like to answer your question.
Just, I would say just as it is not a disqualifier for if a man facilitated an abortion, and 90% of, so for every woman who chooses to get an abortion, 90% of the time the man is actively or passively supporting it. So, just as it's not a dealbreaker for a woman.
I'm asking for the future man. I'm not saying this that he asked her to abort his. This is another man's kid. She's had an abortion.
No. What I'm saying is, I'm applying an equal standard here. So, I would say that it is not a dealbreaker for a man to marry a woman who's had an abortion, just like it's not a dealbreaker for a woman to marry a man who had facilitated an abortion.
Should men marry women that have slept with over 10 men?
Should they marry someone who's slept with over 10 men?
I would say that when you have more sexual partners, that's definitely a, that's something that's concerning. That could be a red flag. But that, but that doesn't apply. I'm not gonna say that someone is unmarriageable because of one particular trait.
What about porn?
Okay. What, what about?
What about women that have, that have participated in porn? Should men marry women that have participated in porn?
I would say that that's definitely a red flag, but it is not a necessarily, it's not a dealbreaker. Can I answer the questions, Pearl? Because you can keep asking questions and I'll never answer.
Because I just, it would be easier if I got a yes or no, because you keep giving me these roundabout, and I'm just at yes or no.
No, I'm giving you good answers.
Okay. So, I'd like to finish about pornography. I would say it's not a dealbreaker if a woman had participated in pornography.
Uh, much the same way it is not a dealbreaker. Well, it's something to be very, very worried about. So, I'll answer it this way. I, it's very hard for me to find anything that's a dealbreaker for marriage, except for maybe diagnosed, uh, severe mental illness, for example, um, or addiction to drugs, things like that. But that would apply to men and women. So, when it comes to pornography, I would say it's very concerning if you have, if a woman had previously engaged in pornography, just like it is very concerning if a woman chooses to marry a man who's previously viewed pornography.
But this is my question. It's like, why can't men have standards? And, and this is what I've noticed from the trad community and like the conservatives. It's like the quality of women keeps going down and down and down, and we can't even definitively say, "Hey, maybe we shouldn't marry porn stars. Maybe we shouldn't marry overweight women." You know, it's like we, we, we constantly get rid of standards for men.
No, I'm fine with standards as long as.
And we can't even. No, no, you're not. Because you're not even definitively saying you shouldn't marry a porn star. You would never in a million years tell your son to marry a porn star.
An active, currently working porn star. Even a previous former.
Even former. You, you would never. Come on, someone you loved. And this is, this is why. This is why.
You can keep talking, or you can ask me a question, because I was going to say, I do believe in standards, Pearl. I just believe they should be applied equally. So, if women have a past in porn and that makes them unmarriageable, fine. Then we should just say any man who's looked at porn, don't marry him.
The equal, the equal.
Is it okay for men to look at porn? You can. During the equal equivalent would be a man that's participated in porn. That, that would be the equal equivalent if we're, if we're really going to go apples to apples here. But what I'm asking is, okay, and there's lots of men who participate. A quarter, you know, a, a quarter of women, up to a third, have an STD. Should men marry them? Should they marry them?
Yeah.
Just the, the same reasons would apply if you ask women, should they marry men who have STDs? Because men, men have lots of STDs. What's, and if it's okay to marry them.
But why is it, what about the men? It's like the crazy.
Because men and women are equal. Men and women are equal, and we should treat them equally.
It's the crazy. I don't think men and women are equal.
Are they equal in value and dignity? Sorry, just, just real quick. Just real quick. You can ask questions in your cross-examination. That's fine.
I'm not, I'm not coming at this from a religious point of view. Um, what, what I am saying is that you keep telling men to lower their standards because you were saying, "Wife these 3% of women." You know, 100 years ago, men got a virgin. They got a virgin, four plus kids. 3% of women are waiting till marriage nowadays. You're saying, "Wife them up anyway. Doesn't matter the risk. Who cares?"
Do you have a question, Pearl?
So, yeah, my, I'm going to go back to STDs. Not a dealbreaker. Yes or no?
No, they're not a, they're not a dealbreaker for men. They're not a dealbreaker for women.
Okay. On top of that, porn, not a dealbreaker.
Having been involved in pornography.
No, it's not a dealbreaker, but it's something to be very concerned about. The same as if a man had been behind the camera doing OnlyFans work or working at OnlyFans. But if he's truly repented, then people can really change, and we should give them mercy, whether they're a man or a woman.
People can change, but it doesn't mean they statistically do. And women that have made those decisions, statistically, the, the grass, statistically, it's not, it's not a happy ending for most of them. So, that, that's the other question. Why would you sign, would you ever sign a business contract that someone's paid to leave?
So, me and you, me and you are going to do business, and I get a bunch of money, and your children if I leave. You would sign that contract?
If you get my children? Because maybe we're pairing our YouTube channels together. Probably not going to sell off my kids on that. But it's very common in business deals, Pearl, where if you have a high-value, uh, part business partner, and you really want them to be a part of the venture, you might include things like a buyout clause or severance pay. That's not that uncommon to ameliorate risk or to encourage them to take part in the project.
Okay. So, would you sign the contract or no?
Would I sign a contract?
You've made it very.
I'm paid to leave.
Where you're paid to leave if you're my business partner. It depends how much and what risk, if you.
Like, why is it, why can't you answer the question?
Because your question is underdefined and it can't be answered. You've asked it in a very vague way, so I can only give a vague answer.
In the.
Okay. Me and you sign a business deal, and in that business.
Can't even fathom it. Go ahead.
And in that business deal, I get your whole YouTube channel if I leave, and I get your children. Are you signing it?
No, I'm not.
Exactly. That's the point. No, you're not signing it. And this is the thing. They act like it's one-off instances. And this is what, this is what the academics tend to do. They'll say, "Here's a study funded by this organization," or "Here's another study." And they want you to not believe what's in front of your eyes. Men are not signing up for marriage today. And you can, and you can, you can say that marriage is a great deal for men, but men are naturally logical. They do what makes sense. A hundred years ago, men were still men. Same software. They married women in three months. There's a reason it's gone up to three years. I would give, I would sign a contract where if you have to undergo, if you're undergoing significant risk, and the whole point of things that if a marriage divorces.
Is that women undertake risk if they come and then they give up their careers and they stay home and raise children, for example, and they do.
The majority of women aren't doing that. The majority of women are not doing that statistically. Three out of four women are working. So that's not the majority.
The point is, if they go and do that and they take part in a marriage, you're going to be taking, you're undertaking risks when you're involved in marriage. Well, as I stated before, women are twice as likely to end up in poverty after divorce than men. Women are bad with, women are bad with money. What happens usually, 80% of the world's debt. Women have 80% of the world's debt. Women are not good with money. And many, as I showed in my opening statement, and many, and many, and many men, it's not true. Women have 80. Women have 80% of the world's debt. And the other thing that, that they don't take into account is that.
In this country, men have more. But go ahead. And women have 80% of the world's debt. Women are not great with money. And men earn more as well, too. And, and the thing is, you don't, you're not addressing the suicide problem. Do you not think that's a problem?
Of course, suicide is a problem. It's more of a problem for men who never marry.
I'm asking in divorce, they're nine times more likely to commit suicide after a divorce.
They're nine times more likely than a divorced woman. You're, you're misreading the statistic. And, and, and in family court, when, if they find within five years, many men do commit suicide. What do you think? You think it's just made up? You think it's just fake? Everyone, all these men are saying, "My life, my life is ruined." Let him answer it. Go ahead.
No, because I've actually read the studies. And the problem is you're doing the comparison fallacy here. You're just picking, "Hey, if you get married, this bad thing can happen to you," or "this bad thing can happen to you." And that's true. But if you choose to not get married, you can also have many bad things happen to you. You can grow up and have no social connections. You become a recluse, and you're more likely to commit suicide. You're more likely just to not take care of yourself. And the statistics show that on average, ever-married men, including divorced men, live longer, are healthier, and rate their lives as happier than never-married men. It's a statistical.
Because women, because women date happy men. So, women, women pick. Women pick for these things. Like, what do you? Because I'm a woman.
I'm a woman. I know what we pick for. We like tall, handsome, good-looking men. Is every married man tall, handsome, and good-looking?
Not every, but he's usually one of those things. He's usually one. Like, he, he's usually either successful or handsome or good. It's what. Women don't marry homeless men off the street.
There's a big difference between tall, handsome, and successful and homeless. There's also average.
And so, my point is, women tend to pick above-average men. We see this on dating apps. Women swipe right 5% of the time. The number one way people are meeting under 30.
Because on dating apps, Pearl, the reason that women are so choosy is because there are three to four times as many men on dating apps than women. So, men will be constantly swiping right. Women can be more choosy in that environment because there's just so many more men. But in real life, when you look at a 1993 study, another one by Taylor, another one in another one by Taylor, Taylor done in 201, before Taylor and Taylor study in 2011 shows that men and women when they get married, they tend to be within the same social range and attractiveness. So, while for dating and hookups, you're correct. Women on social media apps, because there's so many men to pick from, go for the higher quality men. When it comes for marriage, people tend to marry within their own social and attractiveness value bracket.
Right? But that doesn't, that doesn't disprove what I'm saying. What women pick a small percentage of men when given the choice.
That's not true because I'm talking about if women.
We're talking about marriage, not Tinder.
If women, but that's the number one way people are meeting under 30. And that's the thing, like, a lot of you, a lot of you guys are so out of touch, you don't see like these studies take years to come out. At some point, I can tell you firsthand what's going on because I actually talk to the people.
No, I agree. It's done to try and meet your spouse on.
Right. But that's what's happening.
That, that's where the world is going. And you're encouraging men to clean up women's mess. And, and I say men shouldn't have to do that. Men shouldn't have to sign a contract where women are paid to leave. I, I think it's so simple. If people are paid to do the wrong thing, why wouldn't they do it? Why? Why would I'm not saying every woman will, but every woman can.
What woman is going to want to say, "Gee, you know what would be great?"
Don't ask questions. Let her go.
Yeah.
Well, I'll go. Well.
You can answer questions. Uh, uh, no. The women aren't saying, "Gee, it would be so awesome if I married this guy and then got full custody of kids, so now I'm a single parent and I have to take care of these kids. Good thing he sends me $440 a month to help with that." That doesn't sound like a great deal to me. $440 over 18 years is over 100k. That's life-changing money. That is life-changing. And this is the thing. This is raising children. This is $44 a month. And this is the thing. This is the other thing that you don't think of. Oh, this is the other thing. See, I'm not used to. I always have to write it down. You, you said that men don't fight for custody. This is the problem with men in statistics. This is the problem when people just read studies and they're not actually in the field. You don't know why. You don't know why men aren't fighting. Because a lot of times men are in the position they cannot afford to fight for custody, and the lawyers will tell them not to do it because they spend $50,000. You know, I, I interviewed one guy, uh, $1.5 million in Texas, $1.5 million on a divorce, he still didn't get primary custody. These cases are common. And if you spend today in family court, if you actually were in the field, you would know.
Okay, so that's that's an anecdote and it also doesn't say anything about marriage because if a man hooks up with a woman or cohabits and she gets pregnant, he can have the same issues. So this is not unique to marriage.
Well, yeah, but marriage puts them at a higher risk because they're on the, on the hook for alimony as well.
Alimony is only paid out in 8% of marriages.
That's, I, I know, but what, what does a man get out of marriage that he doesn't get out of a living girlfriend? What benefit?
Well, he doesn't. Well, one benefit. He's not a 45-year-old guy saying, "Can I bring my girlfriend to the party?" Well, he's not that. He's a mature, stable person. What, what does he get out of it? He lives longer. He's healthier.
No. What benefit does he get out of specifically signing that contract? What does he get?
What he, women give children outside of marriage, so that he doesn't get that. The woman, women gain weight after marriage. He doesn't get that. And all of the stats you're saying you're attributing to marriage, I would disagree.
Well, I would say that women, I would say that women tend to marry happy, successful men.
That is, that's, that is just a correlative theory that you have and that's not true. Because if you just look around at men, and when you do longitudinal studies that control for success, you see that's not the case. One longitudinal study found that after a man gets married and upon the birth of his first child, he works 10 to 20 hours a week more than unmarried men. The reason they're more successful.
Women love spending men's money. Of course, he's got to work more. I mean, even car salesmen will tell you, the final say is who? The woman. No, it's because now he's grown. He's grown up, Pearl. He's grown up and he realizes life isn't just about him. He has to take care of other people.
My wife's credit card spending is off the chain. And that's that's the thing. I, I am in credit card debt. I am, I am in credit. I am in the field.
I, you, what field? What expertise do you have? Because when you actually interview the men that have gone through this, you have a completely different perspective. And that's the thing because you can make. We just went through co, how many studies did they have and and experts that came out and said co, you know, you should take the shot. Oh, sorry, I don't want to YouTube you, but.
You have one minute left. But my, my entire point is you can make a study that says anything, but if you look at reality, if you look at reality.
Studies are wrong except for the ones you look at. If you look at, if you look at reality.
You would never sign a contract that someone is paid to leave. And the qual, there are just not enough wives to go around.
You have 40 seconds left. Feel free to ask any more questions.
No, I think that's it.
All right, no problem. All right, we got 20 minutes again. You're asking the questions, you're responding to them. We'll try not to talk over each other, just for the sake of those at home, as best as we're able. Ready, set, go.
All righty.
It's kind of fun.
It is fun.
You'll get addicted to it after a while.
It's a little nervous, but it's kind of fun.
Then you get right into it, and it's just fun, isn't it?
Yeah.
All righty. Um, we brought up something earlier about men. Do, do you think men and women have equal basic value? Like equal dignity?
What do you mean by dignity? They have the same intrinsic goodness. Men and women are equal in their basic value. Their goodness as human beings.
Like, in the, I think that, cuz it depends, right? It depends how, like, I think that men do more good in society than women. And I, I'm assuming that's like the tweet you're talking about. But.
No, I'm just, I'm asking because earlier I said men and women are equal, and you denied that. And I said, I agree that men and women are unequal in many ways, but surely, like, for example, do white and black people have equal dignity?
Yeah, sure.
Do men and women have equal dignity?
Sure.
Okay, good. That's really good to hear. Uh, all right. Um, so you say marriage is a bad deal for men. Uh, for a marriage that does so, because a majority of marriages do not end in divorce, so the, for the marriages that at least let's say this, for the marriages that don't end in divorce, are those bad deals for men?
If the wife gained a significant amount of weight, I would say bad deal. Most men don't want a fat wife. I would say, um, if the wife cheats, I would say bad deal. Most men don't want a cheating wife. Um, if the wife, if the wife, um.
If they're in a sexless marriage, marriage. I would say bad deal. Most men want, I think most men, if you said, "Hey guys, do you want to get married? Your wife isn't going to sleep with you after you have two children." They would say, "Oh, hell no. Oh, hell no."
What, what would be, what would be the best? Let's say a man says, "I would like a long-term sexual relationship with a woman."
Okay.
What would you say is the best relationship, relationship kind for him to.
What do you mean by best? If you, a guy says to you, "Pearl, I would like a long-term sexual relationship with a woman. What kind of relationship should I pursue? Marriage, cohabitation, dating, which would be the best strategy?"
It depends on the state you're in, because some, some states have different, different states have different laws.
Just in general, would you say.
I don't, there's no general, there's no general answer because it would depend on the state.
Why would it? Because you, what you're saying is that the hard, for example, let me finish. I get to interrupt now, and that's where it gets fun. Oh.
Because what you're saying is, ah, well, it's not, even though the majority of marriages don't end in divorce, you still say those are a bad deal because women gain weight, even though men gain weight also. But you have.
What about the men though?
Do, do men in long-term cohabiting relationships, do those women gain weight?
Not as much. But the difference is, it's easier to get out of. So, if a woman gains weight, it's much easier to break up with a girlfriend than it is a wife.
Okay? So, you're able to have higher standards.
How much, how much weight can a woman gain in marriage before you consider her unmarriageable?
Depends on the guy. Um, I, I think it's unfair, more than like 20 lb, 15 lbs.
Mhm.
Yeah. What are you doing, ladies? Get on the treadmill.
Wow. Okay.
Yeah. You know, I think it's okay and I think it's good for women. But according to, but according to, but according to that Gordon Larson study, cohabiting women gain, uh, what was it? They gain 18. Those those co. Yeah, less, but they still.
I've seen around 10. I've seen 10.
That's the study you're citing for 24 pounds gain. They gain 18 pounds in marriage, people. The problem is, if you're saying that it's a bad deal for men to be in a relationship where women gain weight, and if women gain weight in all relationships, aren't you really just saying women are a bad deal for men, not marriage?
No. No. I'm, I'm saying that women, the difference is, in a long-term relationship, you can say, "You need to change," or "I'm going to go." And women tend to act better when men have standards.
Okay. Do you dis, do you agree that married men rate themselves, uh, sorry, do married men live longer than unmarried men?
Yeah, probably.
Okay, so that's.
Because I think women tend to pick healthier men.
I mean, I'm, I'm a, we want, you know, I mean, why do you think women are throwing themselves at these like NBA players? We want the good. We want the good genes.
Are most men who get married not NBA players?
No. But you can see when you look at the men that women are throwing themselves at, you can see what women select for.
Okay. So, but you would agree though that even if that is correct, even if it's correct that women choose men who are happier and healthier.
If a man chooses to get married.
Then that would seem that he is, or has made himself to be a happy, healthy individual.
Yeah. If he, if he.
If he, if he gets successfully marries.
Can you say the question? If a man successfully marries a woman, does that mean he has become a happy and healthy individual?
Not because of the marriage, but he, he, she was probably selected because he was that type of person.
So, he's made himself into that kind of a person. He's disciplined himself. He's, you know, made himself at least somewhat successful, happy, and healthy. Okay, good. So, he becomes that.
I wouldn't attribute it to marriage, though. I would attribute it to the, like, I think men are going to do what they're going to do. They're on a, on a mission.
Average, though. Does marriage take that away from men, their happiness and their health?
I would say yes. I would say there are more men in unhappy marriages than happy. If out of the original hundred that got married.
Do you have a. So, if you take, if you take, if you take the. I'm answering the question you.
You want.
Because I think women tend to pick healthier men.
So, you know the, the study you're talking about, 35%. I, I've heard that's a bit dishonest. Um, I, I've heard it's more 50%. 45, 45% of.
Marriages end in divorce. Um, the last, the last one was from 2023. I know it's a little off because of co.
But, um, I think if you include sexless marriages, women that belittle their husband, that's really common. Uh, women that, uh, make fun of their husbands in public.
Then you're taking it away from my main point. So, you're claiming that these happy, healthy men who get married, the majority of them, they lose their happiness. Do you have a study that shows that? Because I, let me finish. I have studied the General Social Survey, the Gallup surveys, hundreds of thousands of people who are tracked, Harvard Adult Study, 80 years that married men rate themselves as happier and healthier.
The majority of them.
That you're attributing that to marriage.
I'm not. I'm just saying. What I'm saying is that even if marriage is negative in some ways, it doesn't take that away from them. You're making the claim that the majority of married men aren't happy, but you have no study to back that up.
I'm saying that you, you can back it up when you look at 40%. Let's say 40% of marriages end in divorce. Okay, 40%. Now you have six left. A quarter of them are sexless. Boom. That's over 50%.
That's not, that's not true. A quarter are not.
There you go. Women, women on average. And then on average, so at least half of the women gain 25 pounds. I'm going to ask you another question. I'm going to ask you another question again. So, we do surveys and we ask people if they're happy.
And I've cited multiple studies, okay, where hundreds of thousands of married men are asked, are asked if they are happy, and the majority, 80% to 90% say yes. Can you cite a study that shows that the majority of men in marriage say they're not happy?
Well, you're saying in marriage, I'm including divorced.
Sure. No, but my, no, no, but my original statement, my original statement was.
My, and I'm going to interrupt because it's my turn. My original question was for marriage, since the majority of marriages don't end in divorce.
And if divorce is the only bad thing, then marriage is a good deal. So, then setting that aside, you cannot show that married men are unhappy. You have no data for.
But, but I also added in, I said if a woman gains weight, that's a bad deal. If a woman cheats, that's a bad deal. The men agree. Do the men say it's not worth, but do the men say it's not worth it to them?
But you asked, you asked what I would classify as a successful marriage, or you, as you, that was that, you, I made the premise. I said.
The debate is not whether people think marriage is a bad deal.
A good deal. You said I can make the premise.
So, I said a good deal is classified as a woman that stays in shape, f***s her husband, and stays married and is obedient. So, if she's not screwing, if she's not having sex with her husband and she's gaining weight.
Who should, that's, that's 60% at least half of them are doing that.
Who should we look to to determine the standard of whether marriage is a good. Let me finish. Whether marriage is a good deal, married men or Pearl Davis?
I think you should look at men and what they're choosing, and they're not choosing marriage.
Because if it was a good deal, it would be an easy sell. Good products get sold. Is it, gets good products?
Is exercise a good deal? Are gyms a good? Is exercising a good deal? Exercising is a good deal, but I would do most people sign up for marriage.
I would, I wouldn't say those are the same thing because again, if women were benefiting men like they were a hundred years ago, if we look at 100 years ago, men signed up for marriage within three months, that's all it took.
All right, here's my next question. Here's my next question. If marriage is so bad, and including people who end in divorce.
I didn't say all marriage is bad. Okay. If, if in general.
I said, I said out of 151.
If it's more, if it's greater than not that marriage, it will be bad.
And if that's the case, why do 65% of divorced men get married again, even though they've already been through a marriage that's failed? If it's so bad, Pearl, why do the majority of men get married again?
Well, I would say, you know, people don't always make logical decisions when it comes to love. But, but my question would go back to why aren't men signing up.
Okay. So, no. So, you, so, you're just, so, anybody who just disagrees with your standard of marriage, they're just being illogical.
No.
Okay.
I, again, I, I said a good deal. I clarified it in the beginning. I said, good deal. Doesn't gain weight, sleeps with her husband, stays married. I think that's the bare minimum. All like.
Why, why can't this be a good deal for marriage? If a married man says that he's happy.
Because I don't think that happy. I think one, happiness studies, like, how do they, how do they measure it? They.
You literally ask the person if they're happy.
Yeah. People lie.
Okay. So, it's just a giant conspiracy.
It's not a conspiracy.
Okay. So, are, do you think most men who are married are unhappy? I think most men that sign up for marriage, out of the original, not stay married, that sign up for marriage.
Mhm.
51 are unhappy with that original deal. And we can agree at least 40% divorce, right?
Yeah. There's a, there's a 40% but, but men rate themselves as happy.
You don't get, you don't, you don't get to ask that from the questions I get to ask them. And as I said before, just because a marriage ends in divorce, it doesn't mean that that person now thinks that marriage is a bad deal. Since the majority of men who get divorced choose to go back and get married anyways. I want to go back to some of the different.
Why don't, why don't the majority sign up for. You don't get to ask. I'm going to go back here.
Cuz if it was such a good deal, they'd sign up.
Yeah. Well, they would. Good products get sold.
You know, you think Elon Musk is running out of his cars. Okay. When they first came out. Anyways, I don't know about now, but.
All right.
I heard that truck was bad.
All right, let's see here. Because you, you've brought up.
80% of women get HPV. That's crazy.
Okay. What percent of men get HPV?
Similar, but they're only the sexually active ones. And there's a higher percent of sexually active women.
Yeah. Let me, I guess I'll start asking these questions. Do, do men have a lot of STDs? A smaller, not at the, they're at a lower rate than women.
How do you know that?
You can Google it. CDC.
Okay. But still, the, do the majority of men have STDs who are unmarried, sexually active?
Well, if they're sexually active, but the minority. This is the thing. You guys don't know what's going on because you guys have been out of the game so long. The number one way that people are meeting is dating apps. Women swipe right 5, 10, up to 20% of the time. What does that mean? Okay.
More a minority of men can even sleep around. So, when you guys are saying men, men stop sleeping around, a minority of men even get the choice to do that.
Do men cheat?
Yeah.
Okay. So, if a man cheats and he leaves his wife to be with another woman, is it fair that he should have to compensate her by paying for things like child support now that he's abandoned her?
Is he going to be an active father?
Is if a man.
It's one thing. So.
No, I'm going to ask the question again. If a man is married to a woman, they have three kids, and he says, "Wow, I'd like to be married to this other lady instead that I had an affair with," and he abandons his wife and children, and his wife has been raising these kids, and now they're on their own.
Isn't it just that he should compensate them for putting them in that position by paying child?
How old are, how many kids? How old?
Let's say three kids. Three, six, and nine.
Three, six, and nine. And he completely abandoned them. Not even.
He tells the, the wife, you can have full custody of the kids. I want to go and get remarried. Shouldn't he have to support them since he was an awful person and abandoned them and put them in this position?
You know what? Sorry. No, I don't believe in child support. I don't believe in alimony. I think it's equal. Women have fought. We have fought for equality. Wait, we have fought for equality. We got it. So now you get a job like everyone else. It's a sad situation, but overwhelmingly men aren't the ones doing that. Women. There are far more deadbeat moms than deadbeat dads.
Do you think you simp for men?
No.
So, you don't call it simp for men and saying that a, that if a woman does something bad, she should have to pay consequences for it. But if a man. No, I'm going to finish. If a man abandons his family because he wants to screw some other lady and puts them into poverty, you're saying he shouldn't have to spend a dime on that? Why?
Equality, baby. Because women abandon their families all the time and they're not punished, they're rewarded. So I say equal rights, equal lefts. You guys fought for equality. Here it is.
Then isn't the answer, shouldn't the answer be both that instead of saying both men and women should be allowed to be awful people, shouldn't we say men and women should both be held to higher standards?
I would say, I, I don't. It depends what you mean by higher standards, but what I would say is I don't think we should have child support. I don't think we should have alimony. I, I think it's wrong. I, I don't.
Even if a man abandons. He, he just leaves. His wife has been a stay-at-home mom for 10 years, three kids. She has been out of the workplace, going to have a difficult time finding a job. And, and I know personally women that this has happened to, and he leaves and goes have sex with someone else. We're not talking about other women being bad. You're saying in that case the man shouldn't be compelled to provide for the family he abandoned.
Well, I would say for the same case that if women cheat and leave for another husband, they shouldn't have alimony or child support either. I'm saying in both cases, we should not, we should not have alimony.
Let me ask you another question. Let's say you have this. I don't believe in paying people to make wrong decisions. I don't believe in that.
All right. So, if a woman.
Mhm.
Let's say you have a stay-at-home dad.
Successful woman has been out, she's boss girl.
Sure. She's, she's, she's the boss girl lawyer. Turns into the incred, she Hulk when she needs to, whatever. Okay. And she doesn't make a lot of money. And then she leaves her husband and kids, says, "Hey, Frank, you can have the kids. I'm going to run off with this other lawyer at the office." And now he and the kids are in poverty.
Do you think that she should have to pay child support to them?
I think he should get a job.
Okay.
And so should she.
So, you don't believe. Do you? Yeah. Do you believe in marriage at all?
I believe, what kind of marriage? That's the. I, I don't believe in marriage as it is today. If we, if we tomorrow, if we tomorrow got rid of child support, got rid of alimony, got rid of all these incentives for bad decisions, fine. Then, then I would have no problem. But my issue is one, the quality of women is lower than ever before. The risk is, the risk is higher, and women are paid to leave.
What is, what is marriage?
One person for a lifetime, and the woman submits to her husband and is an obedient for a lifetime.
Okay. But I am not, um, well, and see, I guess my head goes in a couple directions because the other thing is.
Today it's nothing. Okay. Today, the, a, you know, you said the average marriage is longer than seven years. Let's say it's 12 years.
The median length is 21 years.
The average le, let's, let's say 21. That's still not a lifetime. And a quarter of, a quarter of divorces are gray divorces. So, it happens when, when people are in their 50s and 60s. So, so that's the other thing about these stats. Doesn't predict who in the future gets divorced.
It says today. So, the, and it doesn't include people that are separated. I, I know couples in their 50s and 60s. They've been separated for years. They're still counted as married. So.
Um, my, my, my issue again is marriage as it is today. And I just think you would never sign a contract that pays somebody to leave. I, I think it's super logical. If someone's paid to do the wrong thing, they're going to do it. And what are women doing? They're leaving. If marriage, if marriage is a lifelong union, and let's say a mar, a woman does what you say she should do, right? Let's say.
Let's say women should do anything.
Well, do you say women should be obedient to their husbands, right?
If, if the woman gets married, but.
If the woman gets married, should she stay home and raise the kids, Pearl? If she.
Well, it depends. And I can't give you a straight answer. Like, I can't, I can't give you a straight answer. It depends. What does he want?
Let's say he wants her to stay home and raise kids.
Fine, then. Yeah. And you think that's a reasonable thing? That's not the majority. And that's that's the thing that.
Let me finish. So, if a woman does that, then she takes a significant amount of risk, right? You know, she makes herself, she does, she takes risk in be choosing to become financially dependent on one person.
Yes, she does. But women aren't choosing that. That's a funny thing. Women are having one to two children. They're in public school. So, let's not act like these women are home housewifeing it up. These kids are in public school for eight hours a day.
You're right. Men are, men and women, they aren't choosing marriage.
Both of them aren't.
True. But didn't you say men are in control of marriage? That's what you said earlier.
Yeah. So, really, it's more they're not choosing to do it.
Right?
Exactly. And women aren't choosing because women are not wives today.
Okay. Uh, I'm going to go man up and marry these.
You got one minute left. Okay. Do you think, do you think that men are marriageable who've looked at pornography?
Yeah.
How about men who have helped like run the camera at OnlyFans?
What percent of men do that trend?
I'm asking the question.
This is like. Come on.
I'm asking a question.
Who have run the camera? Personally, not I, not for me. Like, run the camera. OnlyFans.
All right. We only have a few seconds left. So, I'm just going to take it back to the main thing. The final main question. Okay. Okay. Do just a yes or no? Do the majority, 80% of men who are married say they are happy?
Yes or no?
They say it, but we don't know if they're telling the truth. Okay.