Transcription
Today I want to talk about something I am asked often, but that's really discussed in a mature way. Okay. What do you do when you finally realize that the woman you're with doesn't really care about you? I'm not talking about small disagreements. I'm talking about when you finally see that you're only good to her for what you can do and what you can provide. Uh. And praise y'all, my brothers, if you can discover this before you marry her. But let's be authentic. Many of us stay with this type of woman usually because she's attractive. And since lust clouds the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain the Most High gave us to make wise decisions, we keep making excuses to stay with a pig simply because it has a gold ring in its snout. Proverbs chapter 11 verse 22 states, like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. Woo.
Timely yet necessary conversation. I see so many of these young brothers investing in the all looks and no substance, blinded by beauty or utilizing her aesthetics as an excuse for whatever he is receiving. That's why it's important for the mothers as well as the fathers to teach their daughters, are you gaining a skill set or are you behaving in a way that would make a man want to earn you? Because many of the societal messages are somewhere in the vein of choose the bear over the man. This same society actually hates the idea that a woman needs to do anything that a man finds worth earning. And what's crazy is is that not only the women accept this cultural standard, but then so do some of the men, lowering the standards of what it takes to get down on bended knee and then they become just enthralled with a young lady that just looks good, ignoring the essential qualities that would make her an asset and instead are okay with that she looks good. When we have a society full of women with no accountability, guess what? It just repeats the cycle. And then the daughters grow up the same exact way. We're teaching our daughters how to be queens instead of being wives. So, let me ask you this. How is this going to balance out? Okay, we're teaching young men to be gentle. I'm a boy mom. Teaching young men to be gentlemen, to be providers, to pay for everything, to open the doors. Meanwhile, we're telling our daughters, "Know your worth and never settle." So, one side's learning selflessness, the other side's learning self-prioritization. Mm. But unfortunately, little girls are taught what do they deserve versus what do they also bring to the relationship? Oh. And I'm raising a protector and a provider, and the last thing I want is my son to end up with your dusty daughter thinking that being submissive to a good man is oppression. Last I checked, equality doesn't mean that women get to wear the crown while men get to carry the cross. Mm.
So, women, a lot of this is directed towards you. So, before you come at me, don't be out here listening to reply, listen to what I'm saying, have some accountability, and then come at me. It's why so many get so angry at the what do you bring to the table question. It is because they have been conditioned to only accept. Even King Lemuel in Proverbs chapter 31 verses 10 through 31 describes a virtuous woman not by how she looks, but her characteristics. He says she is the one who is hard to find. He closes with the very words that every man needs to etch into his heart. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Most High shall be praised. In other words, don't get trapped by charm or distracted by beauty. They're temporary. But if she has reverence for YAH, humility, and is open to accountability, those qualities, my brothers, are eternal. Those qualities build a marriage. Without them, you're simply building on the sand of emotions. Mm. And what I mean by those qualities are eternal is that if you marry a woman who doesn't have those qualities and she leads you off the path of righteousness, you won't make it to eternity with YAH. This is why it's imperative that we do not marry by sight, but marry by faith. What I mean by that is juxtapose the woman you're considering to marry by what lines up in scripture in regard to the type of woman we should become one with.
And I understand that not all men have the same religious foundation as Mr. Jason Wilson. Nevertheless, the principle still applies here. If she truly doesn't value or appreciate you, she doesn't understand your core values, things like discipline, boundaries, respect, then it might be time for you to truly re-evaluate where you stand in this relationship and is it really a value to you? Because without these basic tenets, there is no foundation. Let's proceed. I'm actually creating a study about the virtuous woman for my Patreon brotherhood. So, if you'd like to go deeper and learn more about the type of woman you should be pursuing for marriage, click the link in the description below. What does it look like when a woman doesn't really care about you? What I also want you to consider is that you can be with a woman who loves you, but not necessarily like you. A woman who sees the benefit of marrying you, Mhm. but doesn't really care about you, may have moments of kindness, may show you moments of her being tender towards you. Selective femininity. Support you in certain ventures. But ask yourself this. Does she support you in the way you ask for it or only in the way she wants to give it? My brothers, that's not support. That's subtle control. And if she can't honor your voice in the small things, she won't honor your leadership in the greater things. This is why I always say, you know, judge them not when you are at your highest, right? Your peak, your pinnacle, right? But judge her, her actions or behaviors when things don't go right or in there's times of conflict or when her back is up against the wall. It is easy to love or to praise you when everything is going well, but the inability to be consistent in these different environments is selective femininity or selective obedience. They want the benefits that you can give them when times are high, yet they don't want the consequences for looking towards a leader when times get a little bit murky. The type of woman that will trust you or look to your decision-making capability or your leadership, those are the women that are worthy of letting relationship thrive. Everything else need not apply. Let's go. Also, I want you to observe what happens when there's conflict, when you two don't agree. Yep. Does she dismiss your concerns? Does she rebel against accountability, never willing to admit she's wrong? Yep. Does she meet you with disrespect instead of honest dialogue? Come on. Sometimes, my brothers, the only concern you'll see from a woman like this is when your downfall threatens her stability. Oh. She doesn't care that you're struggling. She only cares because if you stay down, it affects her life as well. Woo. He's cooking. When you recognize this self-serving behavior, please don't ignore it. Mm-mm. Never. Stop turning red flags into a white one. Don't surrender. Don't settle for less than you know a woman should be in a relationship. Mm. Proverbs chapter 21 verse 9 warns us that it's better to live on a corner of the roof than to share a house with a contentious woman. Shh. If she has no regard for your heart now, that tension will only multiply when you marry her. And Proverbs chapter 14 verse 1 reminds us that the wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish woman tears hers down. Think about the clip that I showed earlier of the mother who was conditioning her boy to have standards. And that's based off of the societal message that she recognizes that many of the modern women of today receives. Preaching selflessness to men while preaching selfishness to women is exactly why the vetting process needs to be elite. I saw this one video where this lady was talking about in this generation we have created it that women can no longer be wrong. That anything a woman does can be justified and she needs no correction. And sometimes when women hear these things, they get triggered, they get ang- and they're immediately on the defense. But ask yourself this question. When you are dealing with female family members or female friends, do you experience this? Do you experience that you can't correct them without an argument or they can never apologize for their wrongdoings? What do we really think about this statement? Be also mindful in the subtle ways that they never take accountability, even if they are a woman that says that they take accountability. See, they know enough of that buzzword to say that they do something, but do their behaviors match? A quick non-comprehensive list. One, they'll focus on your tone or your messaging as opposed to the reality of whatever it is that you're saying. They will deflect by focusing or straw manning a particular point in what you're saying but not on the main point. They will apologize for the way that they made you feel about something as opposed to the actual wrongdoing. They will often move the goalpost or they'll even try to revise history. Situations like the fake R word allegations from a Victoria Everest comes from a society that not only enables lying behavior but also provides little to no consequences. True consequences for their actions. A woman without care or respect for you will eventually sabotage everything. Because she's too busy trying to save herself instead of building with you. And let me warn you of the opposite extreme. Because it's also just as dangerous. You don't want to marry a woman like the one in the classic movie Coming to America. Remember the scene when Eddie Murphy's bride-to-be says, "I like whatever you like." That might stroke your ego, my brothers. But that's not partnership. That's performance. A woman who has no voice, no convictions, no ability to critically think isn't ready for covenant. Marriage requires two people becoming one. Not one person pretending just to keep the other happy. Now, let me be clear. I'm not talking to the men who manipulates or misuses women. I'm speaking to the good men, the ones who sincerely want to build a covenant. Want to have a legacy. But who are starting to see troubling signs. My brothers, please don't ignore what your eyes showing you. If she doesn't respect you before marriage, she will not honor you when you're married.
I'm happy that he's making that distinction and often times I don't make this distinction because I think that it's implied that my talking points come from the perspective of a good masculine man, right? Men that are worthy of leadership and that are worthy of following. But he brings up another fair, super fair point. It's not only of those that are super uncooperative or super disagreeable but then on the flip side, those that are yes women, right? These are the most chameleons among us. They don't have any thought of their own. They will do whatever is possible in order to get in They'll change certain components of their personalities, right? they'll change religions. Shout out to Brittany Renner cos playing as a Muslim just to try to get locked down from Kevin Gates. Mission failed. But once that ring is on the finger or in fact, some of them are so smart that they'll wait, they'll look up the state guidelines of how much assets can be theirs if a divorce was to happen. But once that timeline hits, they will review who they truly are. Just like the young lady in this clip. My husband is mad at me because he walked in and he saw that I'm making breakfast and I told him that this was for me and my daughter and that if he wanted some, he needs to cook for himself. I told him I was not going out of my way to make breakfast for him. This is only for me and my daughter. Like if you're that hungry, there's a McDonald's down the street or there's eggs in the fridge and there's bacon and you can make it yourself. He's acting like this not cooking for him thing is brand new. I gave him a list of things that I don't do the day that we got married and he was okay with it. So, what's the problem now? I told him, "If you don't want to cook, you could wait and see if there's any leftovers. If there's leftovers, go ahead and eat. If there's no leftovers, then I'm sorry, you're going to have to figure it out. But I am not going to cook for you. It's not my job to cook for you. I'm sorry. And then on top of that, I'm doing scrambled eggs. He wants a fried egg. No, I'm sorry. That's That's too much work for me. Mommy. I'm not going to do it. Mommy. Plus, he's so picky with his food that he might as well just cook it himself. So like that, he doesn't have nothing to complain about. You wouldn't buy a house with a cracked foundation. Why would you join yourself to someone who has already confirmed that you can't build with her.
So, what do you do when you recognize the woman you love doesn't really care about you? Well, number one, pause. Don't rush into marriage hoping she'll change. Time reveals what charm tries to cover. Number two, pray. Seek Yah's wisdom. Ask him for clarity and courage to walk away if this is the wrong woman. And lastly, number three, protect. Guard your heart but do not hoard it. In other words, my brothers, don't allow the wrong woman to detour you from the path that leads to your wife. Marriage is a covenant between man and woman. They become one. Not stay as two. They care for one another, respect one another and build together. Men, guard your heart, guard your future and wait for the right one who truly loves and honors Yah. In that, she will honor and love you. As always, I hope this video encouraged you. If you want to be notified when I upload another one, hit that subscribe button and turn on notifications. Shout out to Mr. Jason Wilson. As I continue to listen to the things that he talks about and the way that he says it, it's, you know, it reminds me of my father, God rest his soul, right? To be able to communicate in such a clear way in regards to his intentions and the more that I hear him speak, it's clear is is is that although he has a religious background, you know, his advice equates up to life fulfillment for men. And I think that it's very important, especially within today, you know, the information that hits media, it seems like it's it has flipped, right? In it that it's like women want these traditional minded men while offering modern behavior and modern attitudes even though the marriage contract is of traditional in nature, right? And I think that many men today are just rationalizing, playing within this losing game, right? So, they've started to see that the values that they have and have accumulated to, right? And not being able to find a significant other willing to pour into them or the situation, right? Doesn't offer them respect or cooperation, no peace, little to no or they do it on their own terms within their own systems. And they're asking themselves, is the juice worth the proverbial squeeze, right? So, they come over here and they might look at content where you put a mirror up to, you know, what is it that you are doing to make the type of guys that you want want you back and retain you. And in order to fix some of these things, it requires accountability. And if they don't want to be accountable, then they'll listen to portions of the internet that helps them understand that they were never the problem or that the guy was narcissistic or that the guy required too much or that the guy this or the guy that without turning back that mirror and fixing whatever the trauma or the issues or the baggage that they're bringing to that guy in the first place. So to all the guys, remember this. Your energy, your time and your effort are currencies. So, you have to be able to spend them wisely and not invest into someone that will be an anchor, a forever anchor, a forever opposite of peace throughout your life. Because it will drain you. And that's when you've lost. And if you let it drain you down into the pits, imagine investing into something that gives you more pain. even in business, at some point, you got to be able to cut your losses and not assess the good times, right? They might call that sunk cost. Assessing the good times within something in the past as opposed to stopping the chalk, assessing where you are and then deciding to cut the baggage. Cuz when you do that, that's when you truly win. All right, guys. Um shout out again to Mr. Jason Wilson. I'll leave a link to this down in the description box down below. Uh hopefully you guys enjoyed this conversation um that we had here today. Let me know what you think. Question, comments, concerns? Y'all already know what to do. Until next time. Peace. Oh man, yo. If only Kevin Samuels was alive to see this. The prettiest women do the ugliest things. You already know what time it is. It is TIME TO GET ACTIVE. GOT TO subscribe as empty out. Hit the like, leave a comment, it's free of charge. Get active, no acting, we minute lords. Without further ado, let's set it off.