Secret Conversations Module 5 Conversation Flow Blueprint

Module Five: The Conversation Flow Blueprint

Now, this is the most important, and ironically, the most overlooked, uh, topic when it comes to approaching women. When people are talking on the opener, and the reason is, it has nothing to do with the opener. Every single person that comes to training, whether we see them on retreats, our boot camps, the VIP program, whatever you call it, they always have the same question: "What do I open with? What do I open with?"

And at this point, we've covered that in extensive detail, given you different ways of approaching and opening and overcoming the anxiety. But what about what happens next? Because you can say some cool opener, say some cool line, go up and talk to her, and then it becomes that... tell me, tell me if you guys can relate to this. You go up to a girl, you say whatever you read a opener in a book or watch a YouTube video, and then you approach her, you say it, and she responds even positively, and then you go, "Oh, what I say? What do I say? What do I say next? What do I say?" Oh, damn, damn, damn, damn. Right? And you're just in your head. You have no idea what to do next. It happened to me all the time. It was aggravating.

Here's also a kind of an insider secret amongst a lot of dating coaches, guys who professionally go to, uh, approaching women. You'll see them say, "Very confident. Give me any opener, I'll make it work. Give me any opener." In fact, I've done it with some of the PO stuff I do. My students, give me an opener, I'll make it work. Here's the secret: the opener doesn't really matter. What matters is the transition that I need to choose. If someone would say, "Use this opener, and you have to use this transition," I'll probably get blown out. And most guys would. But you can make any opener work as long as you know how to transition properly. Which is what you say after she responds. It's what you say right when you're done with the opener to get natural conversation flowing. Which is step two in my attraction ladder. My attraction ladder has basically 15 steps that goes all the way from meeting the girl to fun time back at your place. All right, there's 15 steps to this. So now we're kind of entering step two, which is how to have real good conversation.

So the transition basically always should be about them. Most people transition by talking about themselves. So they'll open by, "Why you're really cute or really pretty or, you know, whatever." She goes, "Thanks." But, "Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm Scott, by the way. So, uh, I I do X, Y, and Z. I'm a, you know, lawyer over at blah blah blah." Or work a transition with very boring, typical things that girls heard all the time. "What's your name?" "I guess." "Name's kind of okay 'cause it builds rapport, but like, what do you do? Where are you from? Uh, having a good time? You're having fun?" Sounds familiar, right?

Instead, we want more kind of interesting transitions. Every single person that's an expert at persuasion, influence, who's very good at negotiations, frame control, sales, whatever you want to call it, uh, they know there's a secret to kind of sliding into good conversation. And that is, you make it about them. But instead, you make these statements and reads on a person because that's what's going to get them to open up to you a lot more powerfully. Uh, in the biz, we call it cold reading. Which actually we took from psychics. Psychics do cold reading all the time. But one of the best transitioners is the cold read.

So the cold read could be very simple, right? It could be something like, "I don't know why, but something tells me you do something creative. You look like you do something creative." Which is essentially the same thing as, "What do you do?" And instead of asking, you're guessing, right? Uh, instead of, "Where are you from?" If you live on the East Coast, oop, if you live on the East Coast like me, you would say something like, "I've got a feeling you're from the West Coast. You totally have that West Coast vibe." Or if you're on the West Coast, you say the opposite. "You totally have that East Coast vibe." You take these generic, boring questions, but instead of just asking them, you make the read.

A famous negotiator by the name of Chris Voss, he, he was an FBI negotiating agent. He does this all the time. He, and he's famous for on record saying, "I never ask someone how their day is going." He, he, like, "I never ask, 'How's your day?'" He will just read the person. And if he sees you, he'll go, be like, "You look like you're having a really great day," or "You look like you have something on your mind. You look like you got something troubled going on in your mind. What's up?" Because it shows that you see them.

Now, I, I, I, I can foresee and guess what you're probably saying to this, but, "Jared, what if I'm wrong? What if I make this read and an off?" The good news is, it doesn't really matter. So if I tell a girl, let's go back to one of my previous examples, if I say, "You look like you do something creative," and she says, "Yes, how the hell did you know that? I'm an artist. I do graphic design." What do you mean? "I do something creative." "Yeah, I'm, uh, I I do furniture design." Or what, whatever it is. You are now interesting as hell because you're like, "How the hell did you know that about me? You saw me, you read me."

But of course, now the question is, well, what if you're wrong? And she goes, "No, I'm an accountant." But then what happens? She goes, "But why did you think I do something creative?" Or if you say something like, "Okay, I live on the East Coast. I'm here in Florida. And you go, 'You look like you live on the West Coast.'" Right? And she goes, "No, I was born and raised here." But why did you think I was from the West Coast? Even when you're wrong, now you're intriguing because she wants to know what made her, what gave that off. And you get to be vague, by the way. You don't have to have a real answer. "Oh, it's your vibe. It was your energy. I would never have guessed it from you. The way you carry yourself, the way you're dressed, the way, uh, you talk, the energy you give off. Just it's just all this like silly, whatever." But that can be your excuse about it.

And then, as you do more and more approaches and you implement the stuff we're talking about, you're going to get better and better at reading all these different women. So you are going to be more interesting. You are going to be spot on. You're going to be noticing things about their body language and teaching them cool things about themselves. Uh, the girl I talked about in the last module, by the way, the Santa girl, I left her on a cliffhanger. One of the things I did was I said, "I'm going to, I can read your personality. I can tell you a lot of cool things about yourself, uh, with a routine and technique that I teach in a VIP program." I'm not going to get into it now because it's this long-winded thing to build a, uh, connection. But I basically said, "I'm going to, I can give you a personality test and give a real read on you." And she goes, "Hell yeah, I want that." AKA open loop, AKA intriguing, good conversation.

Then I tested her and I said, "Okay, well, it's really noisy and loud here at the bar. Let's go off someplace more quiet so I can do it properly." She said, "No." She goes, "Well, no, I don't want to leave my friend. No, I'm fine right here." Now, you, I punish by saying, "That's okay. We can do it later. I don't want to do it when it's too loud. It wouldn't be accurate anyways." And now I use it to my advantage. I'll tell you what, when we meet up again later on, I'll, I'll do that reading for you. Now, with texting, or when I talk to her through Instagram, or with my girlfriend, I get to have that leverage of, "By the way, I still owe you that personality test. I still got to do that reading that I promised you." Now, again, it's something that she wants to invest in. She's interested in it. Gives me, it's callback humor, or, you know, callback intrigue, I guess. A whole new one. Either way, it can still be done to your advantage. Even when you get to know. And yes, you're going to get the "no." I, I, I gave her something intriguing. I wanted her to move away from her friends and get alone with me. She said no. Again, it happens. Happened to me. It happened to everybody. You just have to know how to deal with it and use it. Even in this case, use it to your advantage.

Okay, so that's a transition. Make it about them. Statements are a lot more powerful than questions. But of course, you know, you are going to be asking questions. You just don't want to do too much. Remember in a previous module, what we talked about attraction rewiring? When you assume rapport and you assume attraction, that is the single best way to build attraction and build rapport. Think about right now, when you hang out with your friends, when you hang out with your friends, people that you like, people that, uh, you have a lot of rapport with, you typically don't ask a lot of questions. You're just making up statements, you're sharing opinions, stories, which we're going to get into here. That's because you're your friends. You don't have to get to know them. You're not this stranger. So we want to limit that feeling of, "Oh, we're a stranger," and only ask good questions, or limit those kind of questions at first. And do a very, um, predictably good format that I'm going to teach you right now. Because we can't eliminate all questions. You can try. You can play with it. You can make a lot of statements. It, it'll probably take your game to a much higher level. If you're one of those guys that just question stacks in this conversation, that we want to avoid at all costs. But I'm going to teach you the right way to go about asking questions. Because again, it will come up. All right? I'm not going to say like, "The best people never ask questions." That's a little bit ridiculous. One guy had that kind of methodology, but it was just silliness. So obviously, questions are going to come up. So how do we do it?

Here's the format: QAS. Question, Answer, Statement. The way we do it is, we're going to ask a question, and then she's going to give us an answer. And now we have to make a statement based on her answer. And the statement is going to come into one of two categories. All right? It's either going to be a plus or negative statement, or it's going to be an opinion. And, uh, more on that in a little, in a little bit here. Okay? So what that means is a statement. And by the way, and or it could be, and it could be, I don't want to get too nerdy and SL or opinion. Okay? What this means is, you ask a question, she gives you an answer, you show you like her answer, a positive, or you tease or show that you don't like her answer, a negative. "What is your favorite movie?" "Oh my God, The Notebook." "Oh my God, classic girl answer. Jesus Christ. Here, thought you were going to be original." That would be a negative, right? And you can say that to her. That's your statement on it. Or it could be a positive, right? "What's your, uh, what's your favorite movie?" "Star Wars." Be like, "Stop it. You're there's no way you're that cool. Like, shut the [ __ ] wait, Star Wars?"

Which again, I keep bringing this girl up because it was just, it was just two days ago. But she, uh, the Santa girl, whatever. She was saying, "I know all the Star Wars stuff." Again, so I ask her, I'm, I'm like, "All right, I forget how it came up. I asked her some kind of question like, I don't know, what, uh, what, oh, I like nerd people, right? Again, I'm coming from external factor. I'm not here to impress. I'm here to see if people meet my qualifications." So I told her, "I'm a big nerd. If you can't tell, I got a [ __ ] anime thing here. I like a lot of nerdy [ __ ]." Right? So I go, "What's something nerdy about you?" That was my question. Her answer was, "I'm actually into Star Wars." I give it a positive, right? I give her a statement being like, "No way, you're that cool. A lot of girls pretend they like Star Wars. There's no way you actually like Star Wars." She goes, "No, I do." Right?

So then I give her a question again, challenging her. I'm big on challenging the women you meet because most men will never do that. Guys who see themselves as attracted, are attractive as they go there talking to. They will challenge them to be like, "Are you on my level?" Which is very counterintuitive because most men are trying to impress, which we already talked about before. So I go, "All right, yo, you really, you're into Star Wars? Okay, who was Yoda's Padawan?" I gave her like a hard one, like right off the gate. "Who is Yoda's Padawan?" And then she answered correctly. She goes, "Count Dooku." And I was just like, "What the, like, how? I was not expecting her to get that. That answer." But she gives me the answer. Now I'm going to give a statement. And again, I'm going to give a positive, uh, you know, positive response, or I'm going to give the opinion on it. Maybe basically something she's telling me is, "Yes, I really liked, you know, Star Wars." I'm like, "Okay, but let me give you opinion. But here's the thing, I can't stand personally. I love that you like Star Wars. So like, okay, so positive." Then I'm going to, I can give my opinion. "I can't stand the Disney Star Wars though. If you tell me you're into the Disney Star Wars, you're going to be breaking my heart right now." So that is a statement, but I'm giving my opinion on what she said.

So if, so again, I'll use a quick example. "What's something nerdy about you?" She answers, "I'm into Star Wars." Instead of a plus or a negative, I give opinion. "Please tell me not the Disney Star Wars." Or, "Please tell me not the Disney Star Wars though." And the original, because that's going to break my heart otherwise. That's not me liking or disliking her answer. That's just me giving my opinion on what she said. So you can do either one. Um, or you can put them together. Your opinion is a positive, or your opinion is a negative. But, and then once she, once you give the statement, it should lead. Either she will come in and ask questions or make statements. But if she doesn't, it's okay. Now you're just going to ask another question based off of it. So again, this example, "Please tell me not the Disney one." And she goes, "Oh, no, that was trash. I like the originals." "Well, which one is your favorite?" I'm literally remember the conversation as they do. I go, "Which one is your favorite?" And then she said, "Revenge of the Sith, the third movie." Right? And then I gave a positive and an opinion. I said, "Honestly, not a bad, not a bad choice. Revenge of the Sith, that's a pretty good one. However, the correct answer is Empire Strikes Back." But I, I'll give you that. "Revenge of the Sith, that's a pretty solid choice. But the correct," so positive, rewarding her answer. But the correct answer is, "Empire Strikes Back." I'm giving my opinion.

Do you see now how this creates a lot more better conversation flow? We're learning about each other in a more natural, fun way that keeps her engaged and investing, versus a, again, what everyone's doing. So I don't have it here. I probably should have, um, my bad. But either way, just take a note on this. Bad conversations typically go into one of three categories that I find to be repeatable from coaching thousands of students over nearly two decades of this. And I see it again and again and again when they come on my calls and they ask their questions and we go over their audios. By the way, that is something we do in our program. We listen to their audios, we watch their interactions, we go over the reports, we break it all down. Because no matter how good you are, you're going to have blind spots. You don't know what you don't know, and you need somebody to help you with their blind spots. Anyway, long story short, um, the three conversations that typically happen again and again is: number one, it's "get to know you" talk. Which is like, again, "What do you do? Where are you from? How many siblings do you have? Uh, what kind of stuff do you like to do for fun?" Blah, blah, blah. Which, by the way, is not bad later on in the connection-building phase. But what we're talking about in my attraction ladder, um, again, explained in detail in my books, "College of Modern Flirting," or in the program, we're on step two, connection building. That's step like nine. All right? So that come, those kind of questions come later, but not yet. You don't want to do "get to know you" talk. You, it's really ironic, but you're like, "I want to go up to this girl and build a natural connection and really have a good spark and really flow and get and get to know each other." Don't have "get to know you" talk. Don't try to get to know you. Because she's, when, when it ends, especially early, she's not going to remember all these details about you. You're probably not going to remember all these things about her. It's, it's kind of irrelevant. It's not really important. What matters is how you make her feel. That's what she's going to remember. She's going to remember how you make her feel. Anyone who knows about sales, persuasion, influence, negotiate, you understand that at a high level. It's all about making her feel. And getting to know you and exchanging facts, information, that's not going to get her to feel, not nothing good, at least.

Okay. The second type of talk you don't want to have, and this is going to break some guys' hearts, is location talk. Most of you, for those who are taking action, again, if you're not, it's okay. Go back to previous modules. Let's start getting some reps in. Let's start getting some, it's good to fail. Fail means you're trying. Fail means you're practicing and you're getting notes. It's okay. But the, uh, second type is location talk. "Oh, you're from this city? How do you like that city? What's going on in that city?" "I go, I live in this city. I was originally though in this city. I travel a lot though. You know where I travel? I travel to Rome. Have you been to Rome? Oh, I love, you know what's cool about Rome is Rome is this." And have you been to Hong Kong? And most guys will typically try to impress women, women by talking about traveling. It's one of the most key things. Again, though, remember what I said earlier? Show, don't tell. Show it on your Instagram. If you want to show a picture of it or whatever, she could see it. That makes it a little bit more, uh, viable. But again, who the cares where you've been? Why is this like, like you're thinking like it's super high status? It's cool. This is every guy's strategy for trying to like show off and sound to a girl. Is let's talk about these locations. Even her, "Where have you been? Tell me about this location. What, what is it like in Alaska?" I don't care. You know, you don't care. You know, in your heart of hearts, you don't care what life is like in Alaska. And she's from Alaska. So stop talking about it. Stop going to the location stuff.

And the third one is what I call Google talk, which is very factual. It's the exact opposite of the last thing I'm going to get into or right here, the opinion. You're just talking about facts. These usually the guys that do this are the ones that are too smart for their own good. They're trying to teach the girls something. By the way, when you do teach a girl a cool skill or something about herself, whatever, very powerful. I can go into that in a separate thing. But when you're trying to teach her statistics or things she can Google, like, "I don't know if you know, but, you know, this bar was founded in 1773. Just, it's kind of one of the oldest bars around here." She goes, "Okay." And it's cool. "Yeah, you know, uh, uh, the, uh, Caesar salad, funny enough, it was actually invented in Tijuana. So, you know, it's technically, it's it's Mexican food. Uh, the Caesar salad you're getting. I bet you didn't know that." Who the [ __ ] cares? All right? It's, it's not interesting. Back there was actually this really bad advice to like, look up all these Snapple facts and tell these girls all these Snapple facts. And I did it too. I'm like, "Oh, you, I don't know if you know this, but like, an ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain." I still remember this from this bad advice back then. This, "Oh, an ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain." They don't care. It's stuff they can Google.

So instead, what needs to be happening? Instead of trying to get to too soon, instead of trying to impress her locations, which is typical, or things that she can Google, all these like factual things that nobody gives a [ __ ] anymore. Maybe back in the day before Google, okay, it was cool and it showed you were smart. It probably meant you spent too much time reading a Wikipedia. Um, instead, we want these kind of emotional responses for conversations. We like it, we don't like it. So good or bad feeling towards what she's saying, or we're sharing an opinion. This puts her in touch with feelings. This is what a lot of, uh, coaches and advice out there and people are saying when they say, "Use emotional language. Do things that evoke emotion." These things will evoke emotion.

Now, the question you're probably asking at this point, if you're kind of new to this, you're wondering, "Is that's all great and good, but I don't know what questions to ask, or I run out, I I run out of things to say." All right? Like, "Yes, sure, I can do a transition, but I don't know what question to ask, and I don't know what kind of statements to make." Even though obviously it's an opinion or, or a plus or a negative, right? If that's the case, I got your back. What I want you to do is I want you to start doing these kind of drills that we teach in our, uh, that we teach in our program. In fact, we actually have, I think right now, we've got like three drill girls, uh, every week they do drills live with our guys on these calls so that they can get real practice from a woman and not just do these drills. But we have a lot of, a lot of different drills depending on what the problem is. But they get a practice with a real girl and get feedback. Because you know as well as I do, you can approach a girl and it can go well or bad. And if it goes bad, she's not going to tell you why. You can't be like, "Okay, please tell me what's going." You can try, but for the most part, they're either not going to know, they're not going to want to tell you, they're embarrassed, whatever. So it's really crazy when you have a girl that's trained to be like, "This is how you made me feel. This is what I see you doing wrong." And it's a safe environment to practice drills in. If now that's for people in that program, obviously.

Uh, one other thing you could do on your own is get a bunch of female friends and practice with your female friends and get feedback from women who will give you an honest answer and talk to them, right? And that's something else we teach. How do you create a giant social circle filled with beautiful women? That's not, that's going to be coming a tangent on this course. I don't want to get too off. I just want to keep focus on conversation. But that just gives you ideas of how you can naturally build those conversation skills.

So let's go into the drill. The first most basic drill I like to teach all my guys just to get started is called the association drill. The association drill goes like this: You're going to pick a topic and you're going to say five things associated and related with that topic. And you want lateral associations, not, uh, vertical associations. Vertical meaning every association is in the same category. Lateral means every association has nothing to do with the other. So I'll give you an example so you can see what I'm saying here. Let's say, um, uh, the word is "apple." Let's let's go with the basic word. Okay, the word is "apple." A vertical, bad way of associating is, "All right, apple. Let me come with five associations: pear, orange, uh, grapefruit, and melon." Right? Really easy to see the pattern there. Your brain's not really working. You're just listing fruit. Yes, they're all associated with apple, but that's not good in making your brain actually come up with different ideas and themes.

The best naturals, the guys who are the absolute best with women, that aren't basing everything on routines and premeditated pickup lines, this is what they're a master of. They're a master of hearing anything or seeing anything and then coming up with a thousand different ways of taking it and going the right direction. We'll get into what the right direction is in in a second here, but first, you have to be able to see those opportunities. So, what is a lateral association with apple? And see if you can spot the difference. So, apple, lateral association: uh, Garden of Eden, worm, teacher, red, uh, obviously fruit, right? There'd be five associations right there. So, uh, or like, like a pair, worm, Eden, because the Garden of Eden, right? Uh, teacher, doctor, apple a day keeps a doctor away, right? Stuff like that. Notice how that has nothing to do with each other. A pair has nothing to do with a doctor. The teacher has nothing to do with the Garden of Eden. Reason we're doing this is to give your, uh, to rewire your brain to come up with different pathways of where you can start taking the conversation naturally based on what you're saying or based on what the girl's saying.

When you've mastered this, meaning when we say master, let's say you can do five associations, uh, within 10 seconds or less, like quick, every two seconds, like another one, another one, another one. So come up with, I don't know, uh, 20 words and just quickly as fast as you can, write out five lateral associations with each word. If you're doing a really fast and you're good, congratulations. Now you should move on to the snake drill. The snake drill is again, you're associating one at a time from one step to the next, okay? And then there's an more advanced snake drill we can also talk about as well. But for that, you're going to pick a word again, like the association drill, and you're going to start speaking on that word, but you have to transition the conversation to a different word that's completely unrelated. Right? So let's say apple and computer again. So I'm doing that now. We're going to be speaking on apple. I don't remember the last time I ate an apple because I really don't like them. I don't find them useful for, for pretty much anything. If I'm going to eat healthy, I'd rather veggies and meats and whatnot. But I do know the old adage that, uh, if you bring an apple to a teacher, she's going to like you more. Which I have no idea where that came from. And honestly, I don't even know why I should be giving her an apple because my teachers never let me use a computer in class. And now I can't get away from using a computer. They should have foreseen that coming. Uh, you know, "Miss Teacher, why the hell were they not giving us the computers?" However, if they would, I would absolutely trade an apple for a computer. I would love that. That would be the best trade of all time. Long story short, we just moved it from, and, and if you see what I did there, we did apple to teacher, which is an association. And I had to quickly realize, okay, teacher can be associated with classrooms, and classrooms use computers.

When you can quickly start making these associations, you can literally take any topic that you start with or that's going on around you or that the girl says, and you can transition it to whatever it is that you want to talk about and go into. Which gives you a lot of power and control in any conversation. Don't use this too, uh, religiously though, because a lot of you, I can already see when you get good at this, you're going to snake drill this to talking about your business, talking about crypto, you're going to be talking about sports, you're going to be talking about cars, the stuff that you know, on the stuff that you're like, "Oh, I love talking about XYZ." Again, though, uh, well, not again, I'm going to teach it. If you do that though, you might lose the girl. Yes, you're not running out of things to say. So congratulations. We've got a good conversation flow. But now we need the blueprint to make it really good. For that, we need chit-chat.

So chit-chat means you are using these drills, you're using these skills to flow the conversation to topics the girl enjoys, topics the girl likes. If I take whatever she says and I transition into talking about, uh, my favorite basketball team, the Heat, Miami Heat, right? And how I missed the days of the Big Three of Bosh and Wade and LeBron. But, and she's like, "I don't know who these people are." You're losing me. It's no good. So instead, your job, preemptively, here's, here's a homework assignment I want you guys to do. I want you to start studying and researching popular chit-chat topics. So, "Jared, what are chit-chat topics?" The kind of things that women talk about with their female friends. How can you know what those are? Get [ __ ] female friends. I don't know how many times I'm going to say this, but this is really powerful. Have female friends. But since you don't right now, or, or maybe, whatever. But if, if you don't, I'll give you some insider tips. Number one: the unknown, ghosts, aliens, stuff like that, astrology, spirituality. These are great chit-chat topics. Pop culture. At the time of this recording, there's all these things going on with like P. Diddy, or things on Taylor Swift's last tour, what's going on with Taylor Swift? Obviously, women like these things. Pop culture, current things, um, in the news, not politics or anything like that, but stuff that's going on currently. Viral trends, funny viral videos, things that are going on, silly things that women find interesting. Uh, it could also be certain, uh, shows or books. So like right now, in the time of filming this, one really popular reality TV show that almost all women like and enjoy is, um, uh, the, there's UK Love Island. Right? Anna Love Island. I love, right? There you go. Exactly. Right. So Love Island. They have it for America, Australia, Love Island Australia, Love Island UK. Point is, this is a current show going on at the time of filming this that almost all women are watching. It's this trashy reality TV show, but it's fascinating. It shows the dynamics going on with the men and women. If you can talk on that, amazing things start happening. Number one, she's interested in what you're saying, of course, because she's like, "I love this show. I'm into it." Number two, other guys have no idea. If there's other guys in the conversation, they can't keep up. They have no idea how to give an opinion or how to weigh in on this because they're just out of the loop.

I did this back in the day when the Twilight books came out. So when I was kind of getting really good, I was having conversations with women and they would, for whatever reason, keep bringing up Twilight and this Edward guy and his vampires. So I'm like, "Screw it, I'm going to read these [ __ ] books." Like, and it was okay. It wasn't awful. But I'm like, "I'm reading the books." Then I started implementing and using it in my conversations with women. Like, "So, are you Team Edward or, I already forgot, team the other guy, the wolf?" And they would crack up. It was inside jokes. They knew I got what their world is. I understand what they were going through. Flirtation. Um, that super popular book, Fifty Shades of Grey. They're like, "Oh, what happens if we go back to your place?" Be like, "Maybe I'll show you my red room. Maybe I don't." Inside joke. The red room is where all the sex happened in Fifty Shades of Grey. They get it. Other guys don't. It shows them in the know. Most guys think getting into feminine topics or, um, even things like manicures, like going for a manicure, or fashion, or anything that women pride themselves on are, oh, here's a big one: psychology. What you're learning here, men and women dynamics. They love that. They love talking about dating and relationships and personality types and psychology. So the point is, when you can talk on something other men don't, you are eliminating them as competition. You're interesting as hell. And you're actually getting the girl to want to invest in the conversation, which, as we know previously, that's what creates real connection and real good conversation.

Beyond that, you, you do have to telegraph yourself and do proper storytelling. Your storytelling should allow you to talk for a while, to give girls insight on your lifestyle, to give girls insight on what kind of guy you are. For example, if, as we've been going through these modules, I did some storytelling again with the Santa girl, right? That probably stood out to you. You're like, "Oh my God, I'm getting, I'm connecting the dots because of that story." You can do the same thing in your conversations. There are a few things though, um, I want to warn you about with storytelling. I'm can't, don't have the time to go into like every aspect of it, but we'll hit the major points. Number one, uh, good stories are not just facts. Most guys, they want to talk about facts. "I went here, I did this, this took X amount of time, blah, blah, blah." Instead, your story should hit on emotions, which is senses. What did you see, hear, smell, feel? What were you thinking at the time? Do it like that. Think of it like that when you're telling a story. Uh, the other good stories are have a good hook, a reason she wants to know. Uh, uh, for, for example, one of my best stories I, I use with, or with guys, honestly, too, or networking events, whatever, is, "Oh yeah, you know, when I went to Germany that one time, I did the naked man challenge." "Wait, what? The naked what? What is that?" "What is the naked man?" Just because the word "naked" is in there, it pops. And now they're intrigued. And they want to know what the hell I did. I'm not going to go in that whole story here, but that is a story that hits. It's a hook that hits. So the time I almost died, or I saved this girl's life, um, the time I had to fight a bear, the time, and again, you can take any, I'm using very exaggerated things, but you've got to take whatever the story is that makes it really pop. And then the first sentence, they should be hooked in and go, "I want to hear the rest of this. I want to know what's going on." So the hook matters.

And then in your story, it should have kind of like ups and downs of like where it's going and twists and, you know, they, they can't predict the next thing that's going to happen. As you're going through the story, you don't want to be very, like predictable. Again, use the senses. Go through and be enthusiastic when you're telling the stories. Also, good storytelling has check-ins. Meaning, watch them. Remember in the previous module, external focus. If you feel you're losing them, or they're kind of going off track, be like, "Has that ever happened to you?" Or, "Do you know what I mean when I say XYZ?" Or, "Does that make sense?" Ask them a very yes or no question. They go, "Oh, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure." Boom, they're locked back on. Because you don't want them to, we have very, very bad attention spans. And you also need a good punch line. Every story punch line should be the same. You're either teaching a valuable lesson, it's something that was epic that happened, it's like wow factor, or it's very funny. It's a punch line. If your story doesn't end in one of these three ways, it's going to flop. And the worst thing that can happen if you tell a story is the girl says, "And then what happened?" You're like, "Well, that was that was it." Right? You do not want that to happen. So make sure you have that strong punch line.

The final thing I want to talk about storytelling is the length of the story itself. If it's early on in the interaction, you're just meeting her, you're just talking to her, your story should be short. I'm talking 30 seconds to a minute short, very, very quick. If it's like on a date or you've been with her for hours, there's real attraction there. Now your stories can go, you know, a decent amount of time, maybe even up to like 10 minutes. But of course, don't be the guy doing like 30-minute long stories that go on forever and ever. Like 10 minutes should be like, kind of the max. Also, I mean, I said I wouldn't go too much into story timing, but screw it. Last, last thing is write out your story. If you think you've got a good story, write it out. And then cut every filler, non-essential, not emotional thing that you can think of. Make it as concise and tight and good as possible. Because we have a, myself included, we have a tendency to rant and add extra details and stuff that doesn't really matter. So cut all that out, which you'll get by writing it out.

The final, final thing I'm going to talk about for the conversation flow blueprint is enthusiastic opinions. At this point, you already know how, um, important sharing an opinion is versus facts and the Google talk I was talking about. So instead, good conversation means you're sharing your thoughts, your ideas, your feelings. You're coming up with whatever, uh, and you're giving it in an enthusiastic, lively, high-energy way. For my introverts out there, does that mean you got to be a clown and you got to be juggling? You got to, you got to be a dorky monkey? No. It just means you got to be kind of higher energy than where the girl's at. You don't need to be over the top. But the, the truth of the matter is, enthusiasm is contagious. If you are explaining something, whether an opinion, a story, whatever, and you don't seem that interested in what you're talking about, why would they? If you notice this entire time when I'm talking to you, I'm showing volume, I'm pausing at certain points, I'm using hand gestures, facial expressions. Play this whole thing back. Play this module back and don't listen to what I'm teaching you. Watch how I'm teaching you. Am I just kind of like pointing it out and talking monotone and, you know, just kind of explaining it step by step and then the next thing is here? Or I'm talking really fast and I'm just going through everything to just get out of it and blah, blah, blah? Or am I like unsure and like, maybe, you know, kind of, you know, using filler words like, um, you know, for instance, like, uh, other filler words that could be, uh, no? And if you are doing those kind of things when you're giving the opinions or you're telling your stories, you're going to be screwed. Because now you're taking them out of that trance, you're taking them out of that mindset where they're hanging on your words, they're finding you charismatic, they're finding you charming. So you have to learn how to animate when giving your opinions, making your statements, and be enthusiastic about it. And that comes from a few things: hand gestures, number one. Uh, you can watch any TED Talk and watch public speakers, how they do it. Even do it on mute if you want, just watch their body language or hand gestures, facial expressions. But also your voice, knowing when to speed up, knowing when to pause, but also knowing when to kind of slow things down and emphasize a key point. When you have these different inflections and you have the volume and, and whatnot, again, simple rule of just simple rule of thumb: be really into whatever you're talking about. Be really enthusiastic. Because again, it's contagious. And, but you can take this to a very, very high level. I know, uh, for instance, a phenomenal coach where all he does is teach this, how to use your voice in an amazing way. So there's a lot of cool stuff you can do about it. But again, I'm just going to give you the cliff notes: be enthusiastic, be into what you're talking about. And as long as you follow these guidelines, I promise you, she'll be into what you're talking about as well.