Tell It Like It Is // Word Wars Part. 7 // The Blueprint with Dr. Dharius Daniels

What's up everybody and welcome to the blueprint, a third way Bible study. We believe there are three ways you can live your life. Culture's way, church's way, and the king's way. The king's way isn't just right. The king's way is better. Uh culture's way leads to sinking. Church's way leads to surviving. The king's way leads to thriving. And we believe it is a life not always of avoidance, but it's a life of overcoming. It's a life of victory. It's a God who always causes us to triumph. Yes, we triumph while we're in it or triumph by him bringing us out of it. And uh we believe, man, that the blueprint to that third way life is God's word. And uh we're super grateful to have this opportunity, man, just to to connect with you and to share what's on our heart. If you tapped in for the first time, my name is Darius Daniels. This is my co-pilot here, Dr. Marcus Detley. And man, we're in a series um exploring what the blueprint, which is the Bible, has to say about managing our words. We're in a series called word wars, life and death in the power of the tongue. And we've been going through different scriptures, different texts each week and exploring what the scriptures have to say. And I'm going tell you something, man. I have been personally corrected, challenged, convicted. Yes. Uh by some of the things I've seen and learn in studying for this series. Yeah. Um you know how grandma used to be in the kitchen cooking? She was eating some of her own food. Tasted it. Been tasting some of our old food. And so, man, we're just uh uh super grateful and excited. Uh I want to get right into our time together today. I feel like today's teaching is going to be a uh we're getting ready to go there. And so, uh I want to read I want to read the verse of scripture we're going to be spending most of our time in in Ephesians chapter 4 verse number 14. Uh and verses 14 and 15 actually. It says, "Then we will no longer be infants tossed back and forth by the waves and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people and their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is Christ." And uh so this is lesson seven in this series, Word Wars. And I want to talk we're going to talk from this subject tonight. Tell it like it is. Tell it like it is.

All right, guys. Doc, I'm going to I'm going to um just share this opening statement and I really want to get um your thoughts here. Um, our spiritual welfare and well-being isn't just impacted by what we say to God or what we say to ourselves. It's also impacted by what we say to others. As I was I was sitting here thinking even when we was talking about the importance of words is how you know mouth management is word wisdom. Yes, that in order to manage our mouth, we have to have word wisdom. And even when we have that word wisdom, we have to understand our words have consequences. And I think uh what Paul gets into later on in this text is how what we say is an indicator. It is a revealer. That's right. Of spiritual maturity. Yeah. So it it it it really reveals if we are who we say we are. That's right. That's right. And um and I think that even when it comes to what we say, words have consequence. That's right. You said something so powerful. They are indicator of kind of our spiritual state status. Right. Right. But they are also an incubator. Come on. Yeah. For spiritual growth. Uhhuh. Like this is the essence of what Paul's actually talking about here. It's so interesting the angle he takes here in Ephesians 4, guys. It's so interesting because this is a new this is a group of believers who are absolutely new to the faith. And they're dealing with a culture that's really like I'm going to say they're dealing with syncretism. And I'm working on this series, man, that the Holy Spirit put on my heart. I'm probably going to do this on Sunday. It's called detox. And this revelation says on spiritual detox and how almost every believer that's had experience with second way needs detox from legalism, narcissism or syncretism. Think about that. Yeah. Legalism. Narcissism. Rule extreme rules and regimentation, right? Narcissism. So legalism is bondage. Narcissism is abuse. is toxic spirituality, right? And then syncretism, which is the conflating of the world and other religious streams into your Christianity. And so, so some people are like too legalistic or grew up in that environment, they need detox. Other people, it's like, okay, um, you have integrated stuff that is incompatible with your Christianity into your Christianity and your calling it Christianity is not that. So anyway, um, so these a group of individuals that are like Paul's really trying to they got some detox because they're really dealing with syncretism here. Their issue isn't legalism or necessarily narcissism. It is when you look at all of the gods like the polytheistic culture in Ephesus. So you got the worshiping of all of these gods and then you just got cultural trends and social norms that that influenced and impacted the way these people lived. And so Paul's writing to them, this is a baby group of Christians he's writing to and he's informing them like, "Hey, part of what's going to be the catalyst for your spiritual growth is what you do with your speech." So he's trying to help people grow spiritually. And he's trying to help them see that what happens with your speech is going to impact what happens with your spiritual growth. Because really this part of the passage that we read in Ephesians 4, pastor is is really the context of this conversation is spiritual maturity in Eph like so when he talks about speaking the truth in love, let's not take the text out of context. We teach people when they're reading the Bible, don't just read a sentence and extract that sentence out of the context of a conversation. Read what comes before it and read what comes underneath it after it. That's going to help you more accurately understand what's been said. Does that make sense? Yes, sir. So, the the the context of this conversation when he talks about speaking the truth in love, it's a continuation of a conversation that he's having in this section of the letter on spiritual maturity. So, in Ephesians 4, he mentions what we would call some ministry gifts. Ephesians 4:11, he says, "So Christ gave himself, apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers to equip his people for works of service so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach the unity of the faith in the knowledge of the son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." So that's verses 11, 11-13. We picked up on 14 to 15. So you can't separate 14 and 15 from 11, 12, and 13. The the the flow of the conversation is about what God uses to mature us. Am I making sense? And so in verses 11 through13, he's saying God uses the saints to mature us. That's right. Mhm. So when he's talking about apostles and prophets and evangelists and pastors and teachers, the first thing he says is and Christ himself gives. Yeah. This means this is not human appointment. It's divine selection. It's not personal ambition. It's an assignment. This selection is based on the sovereignty of our savior. He decides who he picks without explaining without having an obligation to explain why he picked them. That's right. Why are we trying to explain what God refuses to explain? Somebody put in the chat, I don't know why he pick you. I don't know why he call you. I don't know why he bless you. I don't know. But when you exercise your sovereignty, you are not under obligation to give an explanation. He chooses who he wills. That's right. And pastor, I can speak briefly to this when you talked about he's speaking about spiritual maturity to new believers. And I think that this resonates with us today because I think when it comes to spiritual maturity, I think this is also a conversation for seasoned saints. Yes. It's not just a conversation for new believers. Good. Yes. For seasoned saints because I think sometimes we confuse and conflate spirit what spiritual maturity really is. Yes. Just because you come to church, just because you have a religious regiment don't mean you're spiritually mature. Just because you practice a degree of moral moral living don't mean you're spiritually mature. 100%. And I think sometimes we associate with our longevity or how long we've been in church with the church being in us or Christ being in us. And I think this is a timely conversation of what it means to be spiritually mature. Yes. 100%. 100%. And that I think this is that's this is what Paul is getting getting at, right? Paul's like is like well one he's advocating for maturity right right like it is it is and this is this is interesting because I'm let's just be clear all right objective Paul's not satisfied just with salvation as we understand it like his convers I mean when you really listen to most of the letters he wrote most of it wasn't to salvation Like that was where Paul started. It's not where he ended. Come on. Like it was it was the floor, not the ceiling. That's right. So for Paul, someone getting saved wasn't like, "Woo, we did it." For Paul, it was like, "Now we can get to work." That's right. Your salvation now gives you capacity for transformation. That's right. There's a change in your potential now that you've been redeemed. It's redemptive potential. And when you get redeemed, your potential changes. That's right, pastor. And so Paul's pushing them towards sanctification, which is spiritual growth, becoming more like Christ. That's right. Because to be saved and not become sanctified is to settle. Cuz there's some Did y'all hear what I just said? Yeah. You don't get here. It is. There are some aspects of the Christian life that you don't experience until you become the kind of Christian that God's calling you to be. We put it this way. Some promises in scripture are for grown folk. Yeah, that's grown folk. I love it. Galatians chapter 4. Yeah. Verse verse one says Paul says what I'm saying. As long as an heir is underage, he is no different from a slave even though he owns the whole estate. Read it. As long as an heir is under underage, he's no different. So, I let's say if let's say there's something that has been left to me in a trust and let's say someone puts stipulations in the trust that Darius can't get what's in the trust until he's 55. Well, I could be dead broke struggling even though I'm an heir. That's right. To something that has been bequeathed or given to me. So I can have wealth and riches in a trust and live in poverty until I reach the age come that triggers the release of what has been set aside for me. And so we can take what Paul's saying here in Galatians 4:1 and and apply it using that same analogy. There are some promises that Christians don't experience cuz they're underage. They're immature. Immature. Peace that passes all understanding. That's for grown folks. That's for That's for grown folks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, it might not might not be that the Bible's inacc It's not that the Bible's inaccurate. It might be that we are underdeveloped. That's so good that I got to get to a certain place in my growth that I access that kind of peace. That's good. So, here's here's what we want to pivot to. Let's get right to it tonight, pastor. In verses 11 through13, Paul is talking about how God uses the saints to mature others. In verses, what do we read? 14- 15, Paul is showing how God uses speech to mature us. Yeah, that's good, right? Okay, watch this. He said, "Hey, there's a there's a there's a role that saints play and there's a role speech that speech place. Uhhuh. And he says and he says this in verse 14, then we will no longer be infants. So it's not just, you see that it's not just about salvation for Paul, it's about transformation. Tossed back and forth by ways. Infants don't have weight. That's right. Yeah. Yes. Did you hear what I just said? They get tossed around. Mhm. There's a way you you could toss me around when I was three. You can't toss me around that way when I'm 33. You don't Yeah. don't have weight. Every wind of teaching. Mhm. By the cunning and craftiness of people in dece deceitful scheming. Oh gosh, I I don't even want to. Predatory teachers can only exploit the immature. Yes. I'm in the text. Yes. The Bible says he that is spiritual judges all things. There's some stuff. Let's be honest. Not that you're even, you know, judging anything. But there's some stuff sometimes we experience. I know we be sitting in church like that ain't it. No, [Music] that ain't it now. You know that's why Paul, you know, when he's speaking to Timothy in 2 Timothy 2:15, he's like, "Hey, workman need study to show thyself approved. Working need not be ashamed." And I think that you we have to always be good students of the word so that we can see that deceit. We can see that we can recognize it. Our radar goes off when we hear something like no that yes that that that ain't quite right. That's right. That's right. And and we're not talking about suspicion, becoming a heresy hunter or things of that nature or having the the posture of a Pharisee. That's not it. But it is this idea that man when I am immature and unaware like whatever area I'm uninformed in I'm vulnerable in whatever area I'm ignorant in I suffering. Ignorance is expensive. My people are destroyed is what the text says. For lack of knowledge for lack of knowledge. That's right. Yeah. So, so Paul is saying here like, "Hey man, not only can the saints contribute to your maturity, speech contributes to your maturity." And then this is what he says in verse 15. He says, "Instead, instead of what?" Instead of being infants, being tossed to and fro, one writer says, "By every wind of doctrine." So instead of that, speak the truth in love. You see it? Yeah. You see it? He says, "So instead of that, speak the truth in love. That we will grow up to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head that is Christ." So he is framing for us how speaking the truth in love actually helps us to grow in Christ likenessh. Now here's the issue guys. The word for truth here means unconcealedness. It means reality that is unveiled. Listen to me. Listen to me please. Therefore speaking the truth for Paul here is not just the absence of deception. It's the presence of candor. So what Paul is saying like what grows people is not just not lying to them but telling you gota tell the truth right cuz sometimes we we will relegate truth to I didn't lie. Uhhuh. No. No. No. But did you tell the truth? But did you tell the truth? Did you tell the truth? Paul says maturity doesn't come by just not lying. Telling the truth. The truth hurts. Maturity comes by telling the truth. And the word for truth here again is unconcealedness or reality unveiled. So if truth is reality unveiled, right? Um I want you to catch this. Then let's apply that understanding to Jesus's statement that you'll know the truth. The truth and the truth will set you free. And the truth sets you free from what? Deception. Mhm. God almighty. That's right. Did you hear what I just said? Yes, sir. That's good, pastor. Many people, so if people are in a prison called deception, truth is the key that set them free. Yes. And pastor, I was thinking about this. God, I was thinking about this today, too. And it is how most people or some people thinks truth is subjective, you know, and they living in their version. Yes. of a truth as opposed to the version of the truth. Yes. And see, and the scripture make it plain what the truth is. And so it's, you know, and I'm going let you lead this conversation. Go. No, go ahead. I'm let you lead this conversation with people saying, "I'm living my truth." Yes. 100%. Now, here's the thing. I have no issue with that statement. If Uhhuh. you're meaning this, okay? If you're meaning that I have been operating with a degree of impostor syndrome and I haven't been spiritual impostor syndrome and I haven't been who God has called me to be. Okay? Because I am uncomfortable with the potential ramifications of that versus I'm living my truth because I am want to be who I want me to be. Okay? Go good. Not considering who God's called me to be. It is it my issue with that statement is when you are drawing a person is drawing a line I say that's this is not helpful for you. It doesn't serve you well. It doesn't adversely impact me but it doesn't serve you well and we wouldn't be loving you well to to to to say hey it's okay for me to determine what truth is. Jesus said John 17:17 sanctify them by thy truth. Thy word is truth. The word is reality. Like you got to get out of the matrix. It's like, hey, this is the way the world really works. And does that make sense? So it's almost like So let's use let's use a relational example cuz that's I can feel it getting tight in the cyber sanctuary, right? Let's use a relational example. All right. So when it comes to the way people manage relationships, and I'm talking let's just talk Christians now because the Bible is written primarily to believers. Like the New Testament is a compilation of epistles, letters generally speaking that are written to believers. Now the gospels have some evangelical implications, evangelistic implications. But like the letters are written to believers. Okay? So there are people who are Christian who are living their truth in terms of the way they handle marriage. So what Paul says like in Ephesians 5, they're ignoring that. And they talking to their husband any way they want. That's right. Yeah. So that wives respect your husband part, it's just like it's just like that part ain't in there. Or husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church. So what Jesus is to you do your best to be that to her. Their husbands will like they don't cuz that's what headship is. It's servant leadership. It's like it's it's not really uh um a privilege. It's a responsibility. Responsibility. Does that make sense? Yes, sir. Does that make sense? In the book. Yes. It's almost like somebody like, "Oh man, I want I I want to be a pastor because I want that platform." No, you don't. Because you don't want the pressure. You want the pressure. Yeah. The platform not even worth the pressure. You don't You don't want the So, it's one of those things where it's like people can assume that I'mma do this my way and it's incompatible with God and it's going to work. That's good. Truth is what you run into when reality hits you. That this way doesn't work. Doesn't work. That if you don't treat her like Christ treat the church or if you don't respect that man, then you're going to deal with the ramifications and the repercussions of that in the reality of your relationship. Am I making sense? Yes, sir. Does that make sense? Yes, sir. Yeah. So, it it is like people need the key to be free from deception. Like, hey, you can't keep you can't keep uh dishonoring people like that and think you're still going to have friends. That's right. He who wants friends must first must first show himself friendly. You can't just being can't keep being a jerk for Jesus. A jerk in Jesus name. In Jesus. And but there's a point like this. Like truth is really an expression or an extension of love. Like if you really love somebody that's good. If you really love somebody, you're willing to tell them the truth. And I think uh and maybe this is maybe this takes spiritual maturity, but I love I welcome people in my life who cares enough about my destiny than my desires or my well-being than my wishes. Somebody going to who look me dead in my eyes and tell me, man, you wrong. Now watch, you just said something here because we're going to get to this in a minute. The Bible says, "Speak the truth in love." Right. Right. Yes, sir. Which is the way to speak truth. But you just mentioned something. Truth is an expression of love. It's not It's not just the way you give truth. When you give truth, you showing love. Love isn't just a way. When you give truth, like truth that's aligned with scripture. Because a lot of times friends and family give you opinion and give you their opinion and then throw truth on it. No, that's your opinion. It's your opinion and you want me to treat them right. Your opinion only has the weight I assigned to it. Come on. Woo. And I can love and value you and not love and value your opinion in that area. Does that make sense? Yes, sir. Yeah. So, what you said though is so powerful. It's not just the love isn't just the way you give truth. Mhm. Giving truth is love is actually an expression of love. Because here's what the word love is that Paul uses. He uses the word agape. And that is sacrificial other focused love that seeks the highest good. Everybody listen to me. If you listening to us, put yes in the chat. Listen to me. TZ, I want them to listen to me here. This is the word Jesus uses when he says love your enemies. He uses agape. This is not feeling. It has nothing to do with feelings. This is not phileo. It's not brotherly love. He doesn't use that word. So he doesn't say feel for your enemies what you feel for a brother. That's right. He doesn't use like sto or or some iteration of sto which is like kind of he doesn't he doesn't say feel for enemies what you do for your family. You you don't but he agape which is a love of the will. It's a decision. It's other focus. It means no matter what you do to me, I'm going to seek the highest good for you. I will only do what is in your best interest no matter what you do to me. So when Jesus said love your enemies, he's not talking about a feeling. He's talking about a function. My God. My God. You do. You understand what I'm saying? Yes, sir. Yes. That's heavy, pastor. Yeah. So, that's what this is the word that Paul He said, hey, speak the truth in love. Means sometimes speaking the truth is going to be sacrificial, man. It's like you gota you you you got to sacrifice some comfort to tell somebody the truth. Does that make sense? Yes. Yeah. You you got to sacrifice ego to hear truth. And pastor, I think speaking the truth in love is choosing uh correction over comfort. Yes. Cuz I think sometime people people want to be comforted but they don't want to be corrected. And and and often times correction lies on the outside or the other side of comfort. Yes. Like do you want to be corrected? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Doc, don't no. Don't back off of it. Stand on it. Don't sometime. No. No. Doc. Stand on it. Somebody put in the chat. Stand on it. Stand on it. If you're trying to tiptoe around it tonight, I'm I'mma hold you account. I got my Stand on it. Stand on it. I read it now. I got this. I see you with me. I'm going stand on it then. Stand on it, doc. Sir, cuz you in the book. The book back you up. Yes, sir. The book says, "No discipline." Am I in the book already? Yes, sir. Feels pleasurable. Is that the book? That's the book. But in the end, it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness. I know I'm in the book, Ted. Yes, sir. So, yes, it's not comfortable. But love cares. It cares about your feelings. You should care about people's feelings, but being but having care for and being controlled by two different things. I love it. Oo, come on now. Love cares more about your future than your feelings. Come on. Come on here. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. And so, this is this is agape, man. This is agape. This is s. Boy, if I had time. Hey, pastor. I this. Go ahead. Now, I had to tell people sometime now. After you get through crying, I'm still going to tell you what you need to eat. Okay? I'm going give you some tissue. Oh, hey baby. Okay. It still is what it is. Now, hey, it still is what it is. After you get through crying, now you determine how long you want to cry. Hey, let me tell you something. One time somebody put in the chat years ago. This was a long time ago. It might have been like 12 years ago or something like that. It was a long time ago. It it was a business deal. I was dealing with I'm not going to say, but I was dealing with this this group of people. It was a business deal, Doc. And uh I was trying to It was It was janky. Mhm. The people were janky, but they had me, doc. They It was great. You know what I mean? It was great, but they they had me. And it was like, "Okay, even to trying to win was going to cost me too it it was It's going to cost me too much, you know what I So it's like okay I got to figure out how the best way to take the L's just I was you know this was more than so this is yeah I was probably late 20s when this happened so this is more than 12 years ago so I'm late 20s so it's like yo you knew the business whatever and then these men was oh so I'm late 20s this the head honcho guys probably like mid60s and uh just janky dog just janky you know I I still got a stone I got to go see Denise Bog I just Mark, I just realized I still got a stone in my heart cuz it just came to my head. I said I was thinking I said I hope he got bed bugs, you know. I said that ain't right. Please don't forgive me. That's right. You got some gangsters. You got some gangsters that know that I'm going go get it. So we don't call no name, man. I mean it was just like janky. It was like exploitive. It was just It was bad. It was really bad. So um some mutual parties like, "Hey, why don't you this why don't you and this guy go meet face to face in China?" So I flew from New Jersey down was in uh I went to he was in Amelia Island in little island out of Jacksonville. So I go to Miller Island and um you know how you get so mad you cry cuz I'm I'm late 20s but I'm still a pastor so I'm on you know what I mean? So see y'all see y'all judging me. They judging me. I can't say what I said. But I I was mad. I'm a pastor, so I'm not going I'm not going to do anything I shouldn't do. But I'm mad I can't do nothing I want to do cuz this man just look at me in my face and I'm just feeling so it's like you think I'm a fool. Like you just think I'm a dummy and you know what I mean? It's almost like all this stuff is going through my head. You think I'm a black dummy? Like all this stuff is I'm thinking in my head, TZ, I'm I'm so hot. I'm so hot deadly. You know, you get so mad you start crying. Crying. I'm sitting there marking. I'm just sitting there mad crying. This man reached in the drawer, pulled out some tissue, said, "You want some tissue?" And stood right on what he said. Doc Tazzy stood right on what he said. Had me hot. Man, that has nothing to do with my point, but I just I just had to feel better now. I'm glad I went with you. You went shaking now. People had to shake it. I ain't going to be the only one crying now, man. It was so It was so And then these when I tell you the you know that group was so I mean supposedly so godly or whatever. I just it taught me a lot. It was it was a gift. It's one of the greatest business gifts I got. Um I I learned spiritual shrewdness in business as a result of that experience. And God let me get it early. Mh. Um, but anyway, I got some truth I want to I want to tell him now. But anyway, this speaking the truth, what here's the essence of what we're saying. This isn't a calling out. I don't even I got I got thoughts about call out culture, so I'm not going to get into that. But it's a calling up. That's what this is. It's It's not a calling out. It's a calling up. And when you're speaking the truth in love, you a few things you should consider when you're calling someone up. Like we don't have to guess what speaking truth in love looks like. It's there are a few things the Bible makes clear we should we should consider. One thing we should consider is tone. Yes. Colossians 4 verse 6. Let your conversation always be full of grace. And he here here's the analogy he uses. seasoned with salt. That's right. So, he's like, "Okay, you got something to say. Put seasoning of grace on it." That's all he's saying. Just sprinkle some sprinkle some grace on it. Meaning, you done made you made mistakes, too. Mhm. You missed the mark, too. You may not have done exactly what they've done, but in principle, you've done something similar. So, sprinkle grace on it. Mhm. And this also speaks to this whole notion of like this is intended to preserve, not punish you. Because salt is a preservative. It's a preservative. And basically like I've been where you've been. So this is not punitive. This is me reaching out out of love and saying, "Hey, I did this." So this is not punishment. It is preservative to preserve you while you in or to preserve you to keep you from going through. Yes. Yes. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. Preserving. Yes. Yeah. Not punishment. Not punishment. Preserve. Listen, cuz we all got some areas we need truth in. Come on. Come on. So, I'm not sharing truth because I'm better than. I'm sharing truth because I want you to be better than me. So, tone. Here's something else. Love considers timing. Listen to Proverbs 25:11, guys. A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. timing, taking into consideration the circumstances surrounding the individual I need to speak truth to and making sure I'm not allowing my rage, come on, or my frustration to cause me to think more about getting this off my chest than I am, is this the best time for them to hear it? Does that make sense? Because I know when I want to talk about it, I want to talk about it right then. No, we're gonna talk about it right now. But just because you want to talk about it right now, doesn't mean it's always best to talk about it right now. Uh I forget who speaks about this, he he says going back to tone and then with time and he says sometime you can say the right thing at the wrong turn in the wrong tone and likewise you can say the right thing at the wrong time. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's right. And I was thinking about this too, pastor, just how how speaking when when we go back to the saints and I think Jesus, we talk about the gifts as uh grace gifts and even when you talk about the saints are speaking, they are gifts. Yeah. And I think uh when we realize that when people speak to us out of love, that's really a grace gift. Yeah. And I think sometime we mismanage it because we misinterpret or misunderstand. That's right. What what that's a gift. It is. It is. Now, I will also say this. Here's what I think particularly in my experience in Christian culture. I don't know what all Christian culture is like, but in my experience in Christian culture, I see a few things that are problematic. Number one, I just don't see a culture truthtelling. No. I mean, I just I'm just talking about my experience. Like, I'm not talking remember truthtelling isn't just the absence of deception. It's the presence of candor. And so I don't I just don't see a lot of it's like people will, you know, see like, man, this is probably going to hurt them. And they just not my business. Let me kind of stay out of it. And I even feel like, okay, I get that when it's strangers. I don't get that when it's someone you love. That's right. Oh, please. So, when there's not a culture of truthtelling, it means there's not enough reps. There's not enough teaching and not enough reps for people to do it well. See, anytime you're trying to put something into practice scripturally, TZ, John Wilmer says you need three things. You need theology, you need examples, and then you need practice. So, if nobody's teaching it, you don't get the theology. If nobody's living it, you don't have an example. And without the theology and the example, you don't get practice. That's right. So you don't get comfortable with speaking the truth because you don't have the the theology that gives you a conviction because it's the conviction that moves you past your discomfort. Does am I making sense? Like we just talked about this at the beginning of the teachings like yo some things like do everything without murmuring or complaining. That g that created a conviction in me like okay Daryus you got to ah you you got to work on that. But it was the the theology that created the conviction. Does that make sense? Yes sir. So without the theology, you don't have the conviction to speak truth. And then without examples, you don't have the courage. That's good. Does that make sense? That's so good. Like there are a lot of when I look at like a lot of like like when when I look at my approach to pastoral ministry, there are two figures that really inspire me in a different way and I've never had a conversation or met didn't get a chance to meet either one of them. Dr. Miles Monroe and Tony Evans. Mhm. But what they gave me was permission. How? By the example, God almighty. That's good. They gave Am I making sense? They gave me a permission. Dr. TZ gave me permission. I never met him. To be the pastor theologian to say, "Hey man, you can have a wide reach bringing theological depth that you can reach people for for Jesus, right? You can go wide without having to stay in the shallow end of the pool. I I saw that in him that you can be a pastor that is a kingdom content creator. I think Dr. Evans written over 100 books. Does that make sense? Like and then what Dr. Miles Monroe did is he gave me the permission to be a missionary to culture by my work in the marketplace. Because Dr. Monroe will be doing a church on Sunday and then speaking to Parliament on Monday. He had a portable gift. I love that. And many people will try to confine you to the limitations of their own ability. So they'll tell you you shouldn't be doing things that they can't do. They can't do. No. Just cuz you shouldn't do it doesn't mean it shouldn't be done. But those are Are y'all following me? Those are examples. And then with my practice and my reps, I was able to find my own lane. And I think that's what happens with truthtelling. Um, doc, we're gonna have to come back and do because we got all these other points. Ain't no way we can get through all these. We got to do a part two next week, do but cuz we still got one more point here. Um, but here's my point. Here's my point, J. When there's not the theology and there's not the examples, we don't get the reps. So, you don't get comfortable in speaking the truth. And when you're not comfortable in speaking the truth, people never get conditioned to hearing it. That's the key, pastor. That's the key. The only way you get conditioned to hear it is when you're constantly confronted with it. I Good God Almighty. You're right. And people who are not conditioned to it will label that as abuse. I can't. I was about to throw I'm not throwing this iPad though. It's too expensive. I want to It's like It's like a beast. Like, no. You No, this you're not being abused. You You just been told the truth. Yes. Yeah. There are legitimate instances of abuse. Correct. But then there are correction can feel like abuse to the hyper sensitive. Mhm. Mhm. It's like, "No, you actually weren't abused. We just told you you can't You can't do that. You can't sing while you're high. That's what I'm going so well." That you that you can't you can't, you know, you can't lead praise and worship smell like you're coming from the garden, not garden. Like that's that's not Yeah. That's That's not abuse. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's correction. All right. All right. Tone. timing. Number three, tact. We'll wrap up here because these other four points we got to get to next week. Watch this. A person finds joy in giving an apt reply. And then this verse speaks to time also. And how good is a timely word. tacked. Now, I'm going to tell you how and I'm at the point in my ministry, pastor. I ain't trying to fix. You know, you first start off, you think you can fix the whole body. Then I realize you can't have fix you. Yeah, you're right. You know what I mean? Like yeah, we were having a conversation even before the the uh the camera came on about like some of the dysfunction that is actually embedded in American Christianity. And it is like since the inception of the country, some of this dysfunction has been con embedded in in Christianity. Just like all of these years is still there. So I'm not I don't want to sound morbid or hopeless. I'm not that at all. Even though I think there is something uh called healthy hopelessness. That's good. I love I do believe in healthy. I love that. Yeah, that's good. And that is um so that is aligning my expectations with the fruit I have seen from your tree. So now I am not because the word hope biblically well in the New Testament the word is used for hope refers to expectation right that's good oh pastor that's good and so that's what hope kind of speaks to uh who was it bugamin or multman I can't remember who wrote on a theology of hope uh multman the hopelessness the premature anticipation of the non-fulfillment of the promises of god so when someone is hopeless mman says says, "You have prematurely anticipated that God won't fulfill his promises." That's where hopelessness comes from, right? So, I'm with Moman on that. But this healthy hopelessness is what I think Jesus articulates when he talks about just like there's a godly jealousy and an unhealthy jealousy, right? Like God's godly jealousy is protective. Worldly jealous jealousy is possessive. God's a jealous God, right? So I think when we look at hopelessness, we can look at it those two ways also, doc, where all right, I know a tree by the fruit it bears. So I'm not going to constantly stay in frustration and disappointment cuz I'm expecting a tree that has shown me you only produce apples to give me plums. So I have no hope for that tree to give me plums. But if I need plums, God will get it to me another way. Got me? Yeah. So that is like a healthy hopelessness is when you don't have your expectation tied to a way God's going to do a thing. Is does that make sense? So we were talking about like so we we you know we talk offline a lot. So I mentioned there's some as I have a healthy hopelessness for some aspects of American Christianity. I just I don't expect certain things to come from certain streams. M but God will do it another way. He'll do it another way. Hallelujah. I said he'll do it another way. He'll do it another way. Yeah. So anyway, here's the point that I'm making. We're going we're going to go back to to to uh tack here. I got on that tangent about hopelessness, but um the the point that I'm making is the it's almost like there's this culture in Christianity. It's almost like, how can I say it? I feel like particularly for minority, I can only speak for minority Christians, okay? I think there is such and might some of it might be a survival technique, but I think we become so accustomed to either societal or cultural abuse that when it happens in spiritual settings, we call it boldness. Do you understand what I'm saying? I mean, and I'm not saying everyone that speaks to us should speak in a soft tone. I'm not I'm not saying there shouldn't be a righteous indignation. Jesus turned tables over. Jesus called Herod a fox. Jesus called uh Pharisees broods of vipers. I'm not saying that. But some of some of what we're calling bold is actually dehumanizing and it's insulting. And it comes from pull pits. And I'm like, man, what has to have happened? How has that person have to be conditioned to insults and condescension and abuse to sit under that? Right? I mean, you don't have to insult me to elevate me. Come on. Does that make sense? You don't have to tell me I'm trash to get me to change, right? Mhm. And um I I feel like when there is not tacked in the pull pit, there won't be tacked into people. Tacked is simply this. We over time is packing packaging the truth in a way that honors God and the person. That's right. Is not manipulation is mindfulness. I am not trying to call you out. I'm trying

to call you up. That's I heard somebody say it this way. They said truth without love is abuse. Love without truth is manipulation.

Say that again, pastor. That truth without love is abuse. And love without truth is manipulation. And I think that's that's what tax speaks to, both truth and love. Not not not either or. And I think that's what sometimes we we we fail to put them together. We need truth in love, not truth or love.

Here's what I would say, pastor. If I should pray about what to say, should I not also pray about how to say it? Am I making sense? And I I think as a husband, I want to say, "Father, give me tact. Help me to honor you and to honor my wife in the way that I say this." As a father, I want to say, "God, give me tact. Help me to honor you and my children." In the way that that I say this, you know, and this is something that and I don't know if I'm going to do something on this or or teach do a teaching on this. uh when I get my app going, it's just going to be filled with all sorts of little teachings on different things because one of the things too, you're you're a man. The way you responded to certain things when you were five, it landed different when you were 15. And if if people really wanted to get through to you, even parents, it's not that they became soft, but they did have to become wise. And you know, I just thank God. I feel like my father was masterful at that. He would sit me down and say, "Son, let me explain to you why." He does that make sense? Not just you. It's like, "No, no, let me let me" And so what he got was more than my obedience. He got my respect. And those are two different things.

Tacked spouses, parents, bosses, people don't often people leave. They don't leave companies. They leave company culture. Right? I'm unappreciated. I'm underpaid. It's toxic. Or they leave leaders. They leave people. Tacked. Tacked. And I feel like we don't have to be insensitive to be impactful, right?

Fact check me if I'm wrong. Y'all tell me if I'm right about it. Is kindness a fruit of the spirit? Yes. I just want to make sure I'm I'm I'm in the book. Yeah, you're in the book. I know that. I'm in the Give me Galatians 5. I know I'm in the book. Galatians 5 and 22. Yeah. 22 23. It's fruit of the spirit. And um even when I look at culturally some of the rhetoric that often is released from Christians, I'm like, this is in no way reflective of the fruit of the spirit. Like even if you have to say that, could you say it in another way? Yes, sir. Pastor, I got it. Take the glasses off. You got to take the glasses off. I got to get it. You got to take the glasses off to read. Wait a minute, man. These Wait a minute. What's wrong with this? What's wrong with you, man? I got I got to get a bigger body. You got to take your glasses off. Okay. Go ahead. I need a magnifying glass. What vers 23 say? Give me Give me the book. Cuz I can't see nothing. You can't see. I can't see. I can't see. I got my hair down. All right. I can't see nothing. But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering. Listen to this. Kindness. Goodness, faithfulness. Look at verse 23. Stay with me. gentleness and self-control. Few of those words sound like they're in the tact family today.

And may God raise up a people who have hearts to not only say what needs to be said, but say it the way God would want it said. Because the maturity of the body is not just tied to um to the contribution that saints make is impacted by our speech and um may may this house may your house may God's house be a house of truth. I want to pray. Um, and we're going to talk about this next week because we didn't get to any of our points because here's what some here's what I want to pray. You know, I'm just I'm going to pray this specific prayer tonight. This this is it. I'm just going to pray this prayer. I feel I feel very strongly about this here. Here's what I feel like the Holy Spirit just spoke to me. Some of you watching are having trouble receiving this teaching because you're overly invested in outcomes you're not responsible for. So when I start talking about speaking truth, you start thinking about whether or not it works. When the outcome is not your responsibility, the outcome isn't even your business. Your obedience is your business. The outcome is God's business. Obedience is your business. God didn't say, "Do it because you think it works." He said, "Do it because I said it." And I know some are thinking about people that you love deeply that are rejecting truth strongly. And I know that is a challenge. And I know you're wrestling with that and fighting through that. But the Bible is clear that spiritual work is almost like gardening. Is that the analogy Paul uses? I plant it. Apollo's Waller. So he uses this gardening analogy um to describe spiritual work. And if you've ever done a garden, you know the only thing you can do is teal ground, plant seeds, pull up weeds. Can't make it. You can't make it rain. And some of us are trying to take responsibility for the rain when God just wants me to be faithful. I'm not accountable for what anybody else does with truth, but I am accountable for whether or not I speak it. And I think because some of us won't say it at all, God, raise up people who will say it. They just aren't saying it well.

So, I want to pray that targeted. I want to pray that that prayer. Okay. Father, I pray for those that are dealing with frustration. Some are dealing with frustration in the home with a spouse, with a child, with a sibling, with an extended family member. Bloodline frustration, someone that is obstinate to, resistant to truth. Some are frustrated because there are people who have their last name that are even resistant to you. They've tried to introduce them to teachings and sermons and books and trainings and they're dealing with a degree of frustration because those individuals haven't been open. I pray for those that are dealing with spiritual family frustrations in that regard. People that are part of their church family that are not open to truth. Pray for those that are dealing with it in the workplace, team members, leaders, peers, colleagues not open to truth. First of all, I pray that you minister to the frustration in their heart. And I pray that you give them a revelation of their responsibility. It is one thing, Father, for me to say it. It's another thing for you to help them get it. I pray just like Paul did for believers in Ephesus that the eyes of their understanding would be open so that they would see my job is to plant the seed and till the ground. God, your job is to make it right. So give us the courage to do that. We know that not only do others grow by us speaking truth, speaking truth grows us as well. And so would you help us in this regard? Help us with our tone. Help us with our timing. Help us with our tact in Jesus name. Amen.

Listen man, thank you for joining us tonight. We're going to do part two of this next week. We're going to jump into some some um some other things that we see there in the text. Uh before we close out, we each week create some space and an opportunity for us to worship God through giving. And uh we believe that we should assign value to um what's valuable for us. You know, uh I mentioned Tony Evans before and when I used to I had a 8:00 class at college I actually went to sometimes and when I went to that class do that uh I would put it on it was 1300 a.m. then and there was this radio show. It wasn't the internet back then. It was called the urban alternative with Dr. Tony Evans and I would listen to his radio teaching TZ 19 years old. I would listen to his radio teaching Monday, Wednesday, Friday at that 8 to 8 the class of 8 to 8:50 on the way to class. I would listen to his teaching man and um even you back then you had to call in and order tape stop cassette tapes six to eight weeks before to get to you and I remember having some of his tapes and listening to his tapes. I never went to his church. I don't know what Oakliff Bible Fellowship looks like, but God gave him a teaching ministry for his local church, but also to the broader body. And that teaching ministry revolutionized my spiritual walk. I fell in love with God more deeply, the Bible more deeply, teaching God's word more deeply because somebody said, "I'm going to take the teaching gift that God's given me and see how I can use it to serve the broader body." That's what the blueprint is about. Uh and we hope this teaching ministry is adding value to you. And uh we want to encourage you lovingly to sew back into the field that you're harvesting from that if this is strengthening you spiritually as you are able and uh led to say I'm gonna I'm gonna sew I'm gonna sew into this. Uh there's so much in our heart to do. Uh I mentioned an app I want to I got I got so much. I want to resource the body in this next season of my life. I'm even rearranging my week to create more space just to create. I feel like that's the season that I'm in. There's so much in my heart and head. I got to get it out. Books and booklets and there's so much. And so, uh, and God's going to honor it. I believe he's he's going to honor, um, and make a way for that to happen. And so, as you give today, give with that in mind. Sewing back into the field that you're harvesting from. Man, you can't beat God's given no matter how hard you try. So, man, thank you. We love you. We'll see you next week as we continue word wars. Take care.