Transcription
In her mind, she thinks, "I almost got married," which is the delusion that's what I'm talking about; the standard female delusion chart. The delusion is, "This guy almost proposed to me." Then they consider all the rest of the men, uh, you know, beneath them.
I'm trying to teach evolutionary psychology, or concepts in evolutionary psychology, and then apply them to real-world dynamics. I have 700 clients right now, and when we go through and we look at everything through an evolutionary lens, we tend to find the right answer. So you were showing the hypergamy chart earlier. If I don't know if you can go back to that real quick, this is something I absolutely love. Just so we're clear, here we are on the—we're going to hold men's feet to the fire. That hypergamy chart over there on the right, that is something that is baked in evolution. 200,000 years of Homo sapien evolution has created that chart. You aren't going to change that. Significant changes in the phenotype are going to take something like 40,000 generations. Women will continue to look for better mates for as long as we're alive and probably for the next several hundred to thousand years, maybe. If we have a group of humans that bifurcate and move over to Mars and they have a different sexual structure or arranged marriages, maybe we get rid of hypergamy in that society. But for our society, hypergamy is something that's very, very, uh, pervasive. And anything that is pervasive amongst Homo sapiens must exist somewhere in evolution. And so that's the thing. So we don't blame women because they want better men, but we also need to understand that their exposure to limitless images of men that look better and are richer than their current partner have caused them to, um, look at the average man and push him down to the left.
It is a combination of: she does not need him financially; she does not need him for provisioning or providing or protection. In addition, she's constantly looking at images of roided-up dudes with tattoo sleeves named Carlo that send her DMs, and it pushes all of the men on the average scale to the left. Additionally, I don't know if you've seen that clip of one of the guys who's a developer for a dating app, and he goes, "Man, the math is really bad here." What happens is women will go on there and they'll swipe left hundreds of times, believing that they have options with all these men for long-term dating success, and in reality—have you—you used the delusional calculator? The—that's the delusion. Yeah. Have you seen the female delusional calculator? I have seen it. Yeah, where they—you—you punch in what they expect, and they tell you what percentage of the population—yeah. So, so just quick and dirty here: 14% of the population is over 6 feet tall; 17% of the population makes $100,000 a year. So it's not 14% and 17%; it's 14% times 17%, which is 2.3%. That does not control for age; it does not control for obesity; it does not control for marriage; and it does not control for physical attractiveness. If you control for those first three, you get to 0.2% of the population that are not obese, not married, between like, say, 30 and 45, uh, and make over $100,000 a year and over six feet tall. We're talking 0.2%. When we do the—when we do the contrapositive—when we ever have men in here and we say, "What do you like?" Because we, as men, do not care about height and we do not care about income. The amount of women that are available to us is far greater. And because if you grow up in—if you're in Bel Air and you're constantly around beautiful women, then what happens is nines become eights for sure, but nines don't become twos. That's the difference. We still—and by the way, men will see a woman who's a six, think she's a five, and still have sex with her. That's the difference, right? So that—and it goes the other way around with that too. Yeah, it does too. Some men—overall—when—when I was living in Wichita, Kansas, or when I was stationed in the Middle East for 10 months, I would come back and a five became an eight to me very quickly, for sure. That thing is very expandable and stretchable for us, but for the most part, it's a normal distribution; it's a bell curve when it comes to men rating women's physical attractiveness, and it doesn't happen the same way for women. And the reason why that is—that you alluded to Mack, and he said this might be the case, but it pretty clearly is the case—is the concept of social media, specifically the internet. Then social media is the reason why they keep—you know—there's the one chart that shows the number of men having zero sexual partners in the last year, and it goes from 2008—it's like 16%—and it goes up to 28% at 2018. Okay? And that is—2008 is the advent of the—is the iPhone, and then the Facebook app on the iPhone, then creating that mismatch along with online dating. That is the reason, regardless of what they want to try to tell you, it is social media has caused a massive—there was already—there's already some mismatch when it comes to short-term dating, but that mismatch in short-term dating has been exacerbated because women now have—they can touch—they have access to the shortstop, the power forward, the country singer, and the movie star who—and and by the way, I know dozens of girls who've actually hooked up with Drake—like, actually Drake—and then from their mind, what happens is their boyfriend cannot even begin to compare.
And another concept that I love that you talk about is women getting stuck on their highest setting. The way you describe it as—perfect—got a depiction of the ick here, where she's just got the phone looking at this guy, and everyone else looks like that. Uh, yeah. Getting stuck on the highest setting is—you know—because of the access to men that they have through technology and the attention that they're getting, which—like—women are kind of getting their—their reptile brains stretched out by all the attention. I used to know someone who—she hung out with me all the time; we were not dating, and people thought we were dating. And she said to me one day—she made a face like this—and she was like, "Why do people think we're dating?" And I said, "Oh, because we look like we're dating." And she was like, "Really, you and me?" And I said, "Which one of us do you think is the more attractive?" And she went, "Me." And I said, "Oh, okay. What do you think you are?" And she said, "Oh, a nine." Like, I think I'm a nine. Just wasn't even close. Like, I—I wouldn't have looked twice at her. She's an okay-looking girl; nothing wrong with her, but she was getting so much of this that she thought that she was a movie star. They feel that way about themselves, and then they actually get an opportunity because all these men will have short-term relationships with all these women. They get the opportunity, and—in—in her mind, she thinks, "I almost got married," which is the delusion—that's what I'm talking about—the standard female delusion chart. The delusion is, "This guy almost proposed to me," then they consider all the rest of the men, uh, you know, beneath them. So getting stuck on the highest setting, viewing every other man in the world like this—it's—it's based on these experiences that they're having, not only just viewing these men on their phones, but also getting to meet them and have actual experiences with them. Like, not everyone is going to be Drake. I—you know—I'm not all that familiar with Drake, but I know he's a rich and famous guy, and that's not an experience that can be replicated by the top of the hypergamy—of the social media hyper—I don't know how we're going to be able to do it because we're going to have to fundamentally change how technology works. But if we keep allowing this to take place and we don't find a way to move back towards this, then a huge portion of men are going to be disenfranchised, and they're not going to be motivated to do anything, and then society is going to rot out. Yeah. And specifically when you talk—society rotting out—there are numerous studies that show that in polygynous societies you have a higher likelihood for violence. So this is places like—where men can have multiple wives—and you'll see this in places like India or Afghanistan. When that happens, you have a large group of men that have no—a chance—at the bottom; they have no chance financially or relationship-wise. And then this is when you see individuals strap bombs to themselves, like—or shoot up—shoot up locations. That's where this kind of thing happens. So you see more violence in polygamous situations. When there's encouraged monogamy—like, again, that's what the Protestant Reformation was—encouraged monogamy through Catholicism—and—and that—those kind of things—what you find is that even the men in the lowest quartile of men, they're—they were still in arranged marriages; they had one sexual partner that allowed them to have children and offspring, which put them in—again—children, offspring, a farm and cattle to take care of—I'm far less likely to be violent and to commit a revolution. And so we have a safer society. These are massive generalizations, but that's in general what you're talking about with—with a disgruntled group of men down there at the bottom. Yeah, exactly. And if we—if we do that—if we have some kind of social, uh, you know, force that encourages—or I mean, "requires" is a strong word—if you have some kind of social force that—that makes us closer to this—where people match up one-to-one, or at least somewhere in between this—the full-blown hypergamy and—and this—you've got to keep a certain percentage of men motivated and happy every day. It's less and less, and I think—you know—you said it's a huge generalization, but I think it's a strong generalization. I think it's a very commonly self-replicating generalization that the more—like—the higher these lines go, the more they point towards the top, the more these guys check out and start burning things down. There's one of those old proverbs that's—you know—one of those apocryphal proverbs that the child who doesn't feel the warmth of the village will burn it down to feel its warmth or something. Yeah, no, exactly. I mean, and we—we—we see numerous—we see numerous examples of that, especially in countries like I said before where bigamy is allowed, where men can take multiple wives. You're going to have men that—like—say—grow up in India, and their only possibility of having any sexual intercourse is probably with a prostitute. I've talked to men in—in these situations—there's—just because of the caste system—there—there's a group of men that are completely left out. Can we go back to the hypergamy chart real quick? I want to point out one other thing that Mack said when—he—remember he was blaming the men—look at the chart over there on the right—he was blaming those men at the top. Do you remember that? He goes, "The reason why hypergamy exists because of those—they cheat because they cheat." Now let's go to what the actual numbers say on—in an unfamiliar scenario, which—that's determining—in dating apps—80% of men are deemed to be unattractive or below average attractiveness; 20% of men are deemed to be attractive; but 4.5% of men—which is outside of one standard deviation—remember two standard deviations is 95.5%—so outside of that—that 4.5% are deemed to be so attractive that women will pursue them. And yes, I do blame those men. So what I'm blaming is 4.5% of men and 80% of women. Yeah, that's where I had an issue. Yes. Do I want to—BL—can you blame men for this? Of course, but can you—but again, the problem with—when you want to blame men for that, you're blaming 4.5% of men. That's exactly—is it true that 4.5% of men are doing this? For sure. I have—I have several friends—um—there's one girl I know—she was on—uh—she went on tour with Machine Gun Kelly, and she said after every—Machine Gun Kelly—again, this is anecdotal; it's just one story—but after every show, Machine Gun Kelly would then go have sex with like 30 girls. They'd have an orgy afterwards. They get all the groupies back there. She said she would have sex with the girls. This girl told me she had caught chlamydia several times from doing this. It was just Machine Gun Kelly and a bunch of these women. He would do it over and over again. She finally left the group, by the way, when her birthday came and he didn't even know her birthday. That's when she finally like up and left. But she tells me the story, and then I—you know—so Machine Gun Kelly—let's just say—been with a thousand or 2,000 women—he still gets chosen by Megan Fox. I think that's an important thing because we're going to talk about promiscuity and men—promiscuity and women and the way it's viewed. But going back to what I'm saying before, there's these men at the top that can do this. And what my point is—and what you've said before—is every one of these women—there's probably several women that have been to orgies with Machine Gun Kelly and tell their friends they dated him—"quote-unquote" dated him—and then now they're stuck at their highest setting. So do I blame men? I will blame 4.5% of men, but I will blame a much greater portion of women for the hypergamy chart than I do men. And actually, to be fair, I don't blame either one of them because I think it's a function of evolution. It is a function of evolution, and I—you know—am just going by what women told me. I have been told that at my peak that I was—a lot of women said eight. I drew a picture of myself back then—um—when I was here. I took advantage of it, and I just thought that everyone was—I thought everyone was doing this; I thought everyone was sleeping with everyone because that's just like the age that we live in, and it really just wasn't true. I was getting with, you know, few women up here and loads of women in this area, and I just—I went crazy with it. I was in a much lower, uh, station earlier in life, and when I made it up here, I took full advantage of it. And now looking back at it, it's like, "Oh, I probably let"—like—there were—there were girls who would text me a year and a half after I saw them and say that they still thought of me. And that was me leaving her on her highest setting. So I—I participated in that, and I don't feel good about it. And I'm trying to tell men—you know—even if you can—maybe—maybe it's not good for you—maybe don't put women here, even if you have the option to. I know that they're going to anyway because it's just—it's like an irresistible thing that's built into us, but maybe—maybe some people will listen to me and reduce it and just wait for somebody who wants to be here and puts him in—in one of these upper areas. Um, The Institute for Family Studies has this one study—it's a—the sexual history affect marital happiness—and I'm just going to read a quote from it: "Multiple sex partners prior to marriage reduced marital equality for women but not for men." Um, this is one of the things that I've noticed. So when we talk about promiscuity, I agree with you and—so—and you know a lot of other people—you think promiscuity overall is bad, and I agree. I just think that it's much worse for women, and I think the data shows that. I think so. I think that it's psychologically worse for women. I definitely feel a little bit of an effect from—from my—my days of living that way. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to find the—the—the picture of it, but I—I definitely feel—feel a little bit of effect of like losing faith in women because I saw what they would do. Like, I would meet a girl online, and she would show up with a wedding ring, and I would be like, "Really? You know, how do I know that that's not going to be my wife?" It would—it would build up a little bit in me over time and harm my attitudes and make me less likely to form a long-term bond—less likely to form a healthy long-term bond. But I think that same kind of feeling is much more intensified in women for obvious reasons—that they're much more emotional and they get attached much more easily. Like, they get stuck on their highest setting—that's them getting emotionally attached. They're saying, "This is the kind of man for me now, and no one else will do." That's just like this immediate effect that is permanent in some cases that makes them dissatisfied with their—like a woman who meets Machine Gun Kelly will then get married to a guy on her level and never really like him and be thinking about him forever. Yeah, no, she still thinks about him too. She does. It's funny.