Transcription
When you expect nothing, you gain everything. Or, saying that letting go is what makes it stay. I feel like a lot of us practice detachment in certain ways. And I think, in a lot of ways, the only way to find peace within yourself is, is through the law of detachment. Not necessarily in a way of not caring about anything in the external sense, but not allowing who you are to be defined solely by external things.
I think we have to allow everything to be as it is, to be as we are. And I think that in of itself is a certain detachment. It's a detachment with a necessity or expectation for things to correspond to who we are, or things to correspond to how we want them to be. We have to, in a lot of ways, learn to feel in reference to ourselves. Feel good about being alive in reference to feeling good about being us. Feeling good about playing the role that you're playing and being able to experience you.
And I'm kind of making this video because of a quote from Rahm Das. He said, uh, "You have to learn to get high on all parts of life." If something is to bring you down, then that's basically to say that that thing is above you, or that thing is a determiner for you. Is something that you should base yourself off of when it's not true.
And in my most, I guess, healthy moments, or in my times where I feel like everything's in alignment, I truly do feel like I'm getting high on all parts of life. Not in a sense of substance use, but in a sense of being able to derive happiness from every opportunity that I can. Being able to be grateful for each and everything that I can without, you know, that fear, without that expectation for things to go a certain way for me to feel comfortable.
It's sort of like existing in the unknown and appreciating it for being unknown. Recognizing that the only way to learn is to accept that you don't know and moving forward with that, and learning that that's pretty much all you have to do for life is to trust yourself and keep going, in a sense. But also, of course, tend yourself towards your certain goals.
But I think our certain expectation for things to be a certain way in order for us to find comfort in ourselves is unbefitting of us. And it oftentimes leads to a life that's not, you know, lived. I wouldn't say properly, but wholly.
I think that we need to learn to listen to ourselves in the present moment, or listen to the voice inside our head that that keeps us, uh, on track sometimes. And I think part of that is, you know, making that choice to embrace gratitude. Like even with myself, especially recently, I wouldn't say it's necessarily the easiest thing to do.
I think there are many things in our life that that tend to strip us away from the present moment and take us away from ourselves. And I think it's sort of difficult to try to embrace a certain sense of gratitude and positivity all the time, but it's important.
I think our subconscious mind will get used to it at a certain point and will begin to point out the good. And I recognize that with myself quite often. Like every time I think a negative thought about, like, maybe a bystander or somebody out there—like maybe I'm driving and somebody just across the street or cuts me off—like, you know, you always get those first negative thoughts. But recently they've been pretty calm, and it's sort of allowed me to exist in the world and remain comfortable in myself.
Like no person should be able [Music] to, at least in the ideal way, um, take you out of being yourself. And I think that's really about grounding yourself in who you are and reveling in it; you know, celebrating yourself for being you and not demeaning yourself because of others or other events.
I think a lot of times we allow ourselves to be so outcome-oriented that we, in part, are the outcome. You know, when we don't get what we want, then we feel like we don't get part of ourselves. And I think looking at life and looking at your goals in regards to that is never going to work in our benefit, because it's not us. Because it's not who we are.
Who we are is not about our monetary gains. Who we are is not about anything but our relationship to who we are, our identity, or whatever. And it's important to cultivate that identity through your thoughts and through whatever you can, and practice sort of the law of detachment in a way that allows you to truly be here.
I'm currently trying to, uh, practice the law of attachment on myself. And I think the law of attachment, in layman's terms, is, uh, learning to again not base yourself off of external things, not derive your value of who you are or what you think based on what you see in the world plainly.
It's about living in your own personal world in a way, not necessarily in a way of delusion, but in a way of accommodation, in a way of giving yourself the space that you're already taking up. You know, learning that your perspective is your own and you're already living in your own world. So, there's no point in demeaning it and constantly making it negative for no gain, for nothing but a degradation of yourself that leads to more degradation of the world. And then we go out into whatever we're doing and we, uh, tend to project it onto that.
Like, for example, I had an event yesterday I had to run. Um, an event yesterday I got to run, and after, I think it went pretty good, but afterwards I still had that unsettling feeling, like, "Oh, that could have went better." But like, I couldn't even imagine a way that it could have been better.
You know, I realized that we attach ourselves to such a, I don't know, such an event-oriented way that we don't actually allow ourselves to pat ourselves on the back or give ourselves a certain amount of gratitude. And I think it's important to sort of embrace gratitude whenever you can and not necessarily live in an illusion, but be real with yourself when something is good. Be real with yourself whenever you can.
And I don't think being real with yourself is being negative or critical. I think it's giving yourself space, giving yourself grace, giving yourself, um, the proper validation you need in order to keep going.
You know, saying to yourself that, "Oh, I did good," or saying to yourself that, "I'm proud of myself," or "I love myself," or anything in regards to that, I think helps with that sort of art of detachment.
Because the more we allow ourselves to not be referenced to everything else in order to feel love for ourselves, in order to feel proud, in order to feel this, this, that, and the other, then we're more apt to do things in correspondence to who we actually are and more apt to receiving things and manifesting things and bringing things into our life that are actually characteristic of what we want, because we'll be more attuned to that just by in virtue of feeling like ourselves and feeling happy about being ourselves. And that's what I think you need to do in order to feel high on life or practice that detachment enough to be grateful for each and every part.
Sometimes whenever negative things happen and they're not like a detriment to my health or detriment to my life, I'm practicing learning to laugh at them. Learning to laugh at the way the world is at some point and learning to have some type of gratitude for the way that it is. And that doesn't necessarily mean that I have to expect negative things or be happy in Jerry every time, but at least be happy enough with myself and happy enough with my perspective to pat myself on the back for, uh, allowing myself to exist in a space where something that is negative resides.
We too often allow negative things to encompass our entire life and allow it to be everything that we experience. We need to learn, or at least maybe I need to learn, how to, uh, better suit ourselves to our situation so we're not out of place. And I think we can't really be out of place, 'cuz this is the only space that we can take up. It's the only space that we're in. We have to give ourselves sort of our space back, which sounds sort of contradictory, but I feel like it's true.
A lot of us take us out of our ourselves out of our own space in virtue of confining ourselves, compressing ourselves to a certain narrative, a certain box, and only giving ourselves a certain amount of freedom and, uh, happiness when certain things happen.
I think we have to learn how to be happy in it of ourselves and learn how to be happy in being ourselves. I think that's how you truly manifest anything: to have the feeling of ahead of the event, to, um, really detach yourself from any expectation you have of that world, any expectation you have of what is, and truly allow life to unfold in front of you and continue to smile and watch.
I think that my main goal, especially recently, is, uh, to sort of learn to listen to myself more. Listen to the way in which my mind is, uh, is racing. Listen to the ways in which my mind is, uh, continuing to focus on things that it shouldn't necessarily focus on, and continue to be disciplined in my thoughts and disciplined in my choices that align with who I actually want to be and am.
I think if you can gather it in thought, it's important to validate it in reality. And we all have versions of ourselves that we think are befitting, we think are beautiful, we think are, uh, what we desire. And it's important to realize that that stuff is already here, and it's our attachment to our current self that sort of keeps us stagnant. And that's why I think detachment also has to be practiced on the self. We have to learn how to let ourselves continue to move.
And I talked about this in my last bit video. I think that, um, everything falls into place when you allow it to move. Things have to move into place, and you have to be the one to allow it to move and not necessarily be offended by its movement.
I think a lot of us sort of get into this ploy with control in our life when we want to control everything and have everything go according to this, this, that, and the other, when that's not the way the world works. The only thing we can truly control is ourselves and our perspective. So, if that's the only thing in our control, why aren't we controlling it? Why shouldn't we control it? Why wouldn't we use it to our benefit in order to allow ourselves to exist in a certain comfort that contains us, or at least allows us to be more free in a sense?
I think our cage is not what contains us, but what we contain within ourselves. And a lot of us contain so much pain and negativity. So much of a negative relationship with ourselves that we're unable to actually go about the world in a real way.
And I know y'all hear the storm, but I, I'mma keep going regardless. I think the most important part of, uh, the law of detachment isn't not caring, but learning to care without reference to yourself in, in a way. Like, I can care about this certain or that. I can care about how it goes. I can want something to go a certain way, but not expecting and not basing part of my value on that certain something. Like, I want to win this award, but if I don't get it, I'm not going to punish myself or make it seem like who I am is only for that accolade, or who I am is only for these certain things.
We have to learn how to give ourselves our value back. Because our value is not in our utility. It's not in what we achieve, but who we are. It's about how human we can be. How vulnerable we allow ourselves to be with the moment. How free we allow ourselves to be in terms of our expression.
I think those are the things that are truly valuable when it comes to being us and being human, and, uh, learning to love yourself as a person. We have to sort of detach ourselves from these narratives that continue to impress this idea that we have to be a certain way in order to love ourselves, in order to to have appreciation.
And I think, yes, you have to be honest with yourself. I think it, it, it's vital to be honest, but I think honesty doesn't have to be critical. I think honesty can be with love. I think honesty can be, "Yeah, I probably shouldn't do that anymore," and leaving it there. Not, "Oh, I'm so terrible," or like affirming some type of negative narrative on yourself. I think it's important to watch your words and watch your actions as they correspond to what you think about yourself.
And I think the sooner we give ourselves an opportunity to see ourselves and listen to who we are, the sooner we're going to have an opportunity to actually bask in the spoils of what we want, because we're going to bring them into our life because we're not referenced to what the world gives to us. It's about what we can create and what we can give to ourselves at times, too.
And I think the easiest way to do that is to be present enough to choose what you want to create and present enough to do the things that you need to do in order to create it. But I think all of that starts with detaching ourselves from the idea that things have to look a certain way. Sometimes you have to be the one to give things a certain connotation in order for them to have them.
I feel like a lot of times we allow ourselves to be perceived and connotated by other people and, uh, determine our value off of that. And I think we have to learn how to be honest. And I think that might take some social interaction and be able to look at ourselves with a certain amount of love that actually allows us to exist in the moment without other people being there, without certain crutches and supports, and learn to support ourselves in a real way. Not saying don't take support, but saying learn to support yourself at your foundation so you can actually go about the world and go through change and see change throughout the world and continue to be you.
Um, all that to say, if you made it this far in the video, thank you so much. I really do appreciate each and every one of you. I hope you guys are taking care of yourself. Uh, a lot more on the way. A lot more already here. Um, if you didn't make it this far, thank you.
I think that it's important to sort of limit your expectations for the world so you can actually experience it. I think we try to experience our events ahead of time and, uh, we sort of take away their luster because oftentimes we think about some event, we think about how great it's going to be, how fun, how this, how this, and oftentimes it, it's, it's lower than what we expected. You know, we expect the most grand feeling from whatever we, uh, seek to gain in a way. And, uh, I think that contrast sort of makes us diminish the actual event.
It's important to be there when it's there. And I think it's you can acknowledge to a certain extent, like, "Oh, that should be fine." And in, uh, in virtue of just being happy in yourself that you get to go out there and experience something. But I think expecting things to be a certain way—like expecting this to go this way, expecting this to go that way, and having a feeling attached to it or, or a requirement attached to it—sort of makes us dependent on an event. And I think detaching yourself from that is the only way to free ourselves from circumstance and allow ourselves to sort of be outside the cycle that that keeps containing us. Anyways.