Transcription
For some guys, flirting is like a foreign language. They see other people doing it all the time, but they don't understand how it works. To someone who doesn't understand flirting, it probably almost seems like the way a brother and sister would tease each other, because it kind of is.
Before we get into psychologically proven flirting techniques, it is important to understand the purpose of these techniques. At the core, every flirting technique allows you to show interest in a girl in a way that isn't too cheesy or creepy.
Now, when it comes to flirting and pretty much every interaction with a girl, the difference between effectively showing interest and just flat-out looking creepy is balance. For example, making eye contact with a girl for slightly longer than normal can get her excited, but doing this too many times without actually approaching or talking to her will just make you look really creepy.
The process of flirting isn't too complicated, and one of your main goals is to dominate the conversation with her in a subtle way. Another purpose of flirting is to make the girl actually feel like a girl around you, and it also involves making her laugh and allowing you to display your social intelligence. When flirting with girls, you'll be using both your words and your body language. A large part of flirting is about the actual words that you say, but the biggest and most important part of this is about your body language and how you actually say the words. For example, you could say the same sentence to a girl, and depending on the tone of your voice, what you said could have 10 different meanings.
Before we continue, you should know that flirting feels much more natural after you develop better confidence and charisma. Girls won't really enjoy the flirting process with you if you're too shy, too nervous, or intimidated by her. To flirt effectively, it is important to understand sub-communication, which is basically how all girls talk to guys who don't understand this. It's almost like trying to decode a foreign language. Sub-communication is basically speaking indirectly and ambiguously. In other words, sub-communication is saying things that can have different meanings. For example, if a girl says that she hooked up with a guy while sub-communicating, the "hook up" part could actually mean several different things. The point here is that most girls speak in indirect ways; guys are much more direct in their communication. In the context of flirting, sub-communication basically allows you to let the girl know that you're interested in her in a subtle way. And the really cool thing about flirting is that not only does it tell her that you're attracted to her, it also allows her to quickly let you know whether or not she's attracted to you.
In a lot of movies, you see super wealthy or famous guys walking up to girls and telling them flat-out that they're attractive, and the guy asks the girl to fly away with him on a plane or something similar. This might work in some cases if you're super attractive, wealthy, or famous, but let's be honest here, this doesn't describe most of the guys out there. The better way to show interest is flirting, and the cool thing about flirting is that after you initiate the process, the girl will give you either a yes or no by flirting with you back or avoiding your advances. This is really cool because it tells you right away if she's attracted to you. Two girls flirting is like their native language; I don't know how we're hardwired. For most guys, flirting isn't exactly a talent that we're born with.
The biggest advantage of flirting is that it allows you to basically ask a girl if she's interested in you without actually asking her directly. If you start flirting with a girl and she does it back, which is indicated by positive body language such as laughing and smiling, then she's sub-communicating to you that she's interested in you.
The first psychological flirting technique is called the push and pull, and it's really easy to understand. It is important to think of flirting like a fun, playful game, because that's really all that it is. The push and pull technique involves showing a little bit of interest and then pulling away. If you've interacted with many girls, you'll know that the ones who flirt often have mastered this technique. A simple push and pull is like a sentence that contains a compliment mixed with an ambiguous statement. Now, the first half of the sentence allows you to show interest in her, but the second half leaves her guessing what you might have meant by it. For example, you could say something that shows interest and then say she reminds you of your little sister, which will leave her guessing as to whether or not you're attracted to her.
The most important part of flirting is social dominance, and this has been scientifically proven to make guys more successful with girls. As mentioned earlier, what you say is not nearly as important as how you say it. And the most effective psychological technique for flirting with a girl is teasing. One of the nonverbal signals you can display is the brief glance, and guys who are successful at flirting give girls a brief glance more often than guys who are not as successful. Another part of social dominance is called the space maximization movement, which involves positioning your body so that it takes up more space. Science has shown that guys who use these techniques are given preferential treatment by girls because they allow the guy to display social dominance. These are some of the most important body language signals that you can send, but they're only half of the puzzle. Displaying your social dominance during the conversation is key, and the easiest way to do this is to make humorous, playful statements about talking to a girl. The goal is to basically tease her in a way that shows that you're a dominant male.
Flirting is kind of like how you tease your little sister, but the context is different. When teasing your sister, the goal is really just to tease her because she's your little sister; there is no hidden meaning. But when teasing a girl that you like, there is a hidden meaning, and it's to show her that you like her. Most girls and guys flirt by teasing each other, and the push and pull technique is easily one of the best psychological flirting techniques that you can use. Now, keep in mind that the compliment and ambiguous statement don't have to be in the same sentence to use this technique. A great option is to say several things that sub-communicate the fact that you like the girl and then follow up with one ambiguous statement that leaves her guessing about your interest in her.
I have all of the ways that you can flirt with a girl. Teasing her with the push and pull technique has the greatest psychological effect on her, but only when combined with displaying social dominance. Like anything in life, flirting is a skill that can be mastered, but it takes practice. If you're the type of guy who gets intimidated around super attractive girls, there is absolutely nothing wrong with practicing your flirting skills on less attractive girls first. You should understand that confidence and social dominance are key to flirting effectively, and by practicing on girls that are less intimidating to you, you'll gain experience and build your ability to flirt. As you get better at it, your confidence and your ability to flirt will rise significantly, and you can practice flirting with much more attractive girls. By analyzing the feedback, what you're really doing is giving your subconscious mind the evidence it needs to install new beliefs in your head that you are really attractive, and that you are confident, and that you're good at flirting.
Sure, you could immediately start flirting with very attractive girls, but if you have very little or no experience flirting, this can actually strengthen your subconscious belief that you're no good at these things, which is not the best thing to do. Most people who are super successful at something started from the bottom and rose to the top. In other words, they incrementally worked their way up and didn't ride somebody else's way. As a teenager, Mark Cuban, a self-made billionaire, started out reselling baseball cards and stamps. Today, he handles multi-million dollar business deals and owns an NBA team. But the important thing to remember here is that he started from the bottom, and you can do the same, but with flirting. With that said, let me know in the comments if you've ever used the push-pull technique for flirting, and until next time, thanks for watching.