Transcription
Hey guys, welcome back to my channel. I finally found the time to sit down and actually film one of the many videos I've wanted to film for like 2 weeks now. Guys, I've been just talking to myself so much. Literally filming videos in my head while swimming in the ocean, walking around, driving, and I'm really excited about this topic today because I think it's super important to learn how to not entertain with negativity.
Guys, I've done it far too much and I'm tired. I literally just want to hit a reset button and get back to my 12-year-old self and I was just happy and simple things were the ones that brought me joy. Guys, so today this video is for anyone who feels bad in any way. If you feel depressed, like you're stuck in a mental rut, in a physical rut, like you were left out, people don't want to be your friend, you were bullied, you know, if you feel anxious, if you're doubting yourself so much, then this video is for you if you feel bad in any type of way. >> [snorts] >>
And today I'll tell you guys my experience and how to get out of that mental rut because it can be such a black hole and just suck you in further and further. You may not realize, but then you'll be weeks down the drain, months, even years and decades. So, the important part is to notice when you're feeling off and circle yourself back to yourself to being happy and joyful like you once were.
Guys, one of the biggest lies you can tell yourself is if someone is successful, that means they're happy. Success, a words, things, they're not the substance that makes you happy. Those are not the desires that will make your joy everlasting once you get them. And so often people think that if someone is successful, if they have their dream job, if they have a husband, a wife, children, boyfriend, girlfriend, if they live in a mansion or have this amazing apartment, if they travel a lot, if they have designer handbags, then that means that they're happy. If their skin is flawless, if they're pretty, if they have an amazing figure, then that means that they're happy. But guys, that is not true because things don't make you happy. And how do I know that? It's because I've been there, guys. I've been there. In the times of my life when I had the least amount of things, those were the times when I was the happiest. Why? Because I didn't put all of my hope, all of my soul into achieving this thing, buying this thing, getting richer, getting this, this, this, blah, blah, blah, comparing myself, trying to change myself in the ways that I didn't have to change myself.
Comparison steals your joy. When you compare yourself to other people, to other things, you might think that they're so happy, they're so successful, and that means they're on top of the world. But guys, let me spill you in on a secret. Sometimes the richest people with the most things, the most achievements, are the most unhappy ones. Because we as humans, we need routine and habits. Our life is made up of habits. So once you get a thing, you need another thing. You need the next, the next, the next. That's why players, for example, like a guy who's a player, he'll use one girl, he'll be like happy, euphoric in the moment, and then he'll need another girl to satisfy him and make him feel excited and happy, and then he'll go to the next girl and the next girl. Basically, we're like animals, guys. We're over consuming. We need more and more. The more that we have never satisfies us. Never feels enough. And that's why people spend their entire lives chasing after something they don't even need, chasing after changing themselves when they never needed to change how they looked or what they wore.
And honestly, the things that didn't work out in my life, I'm so happy that they didn't work out. Now I am happy that they didn't. But when I was in the moment, I was so upset, guys. I was so heartbroken. I was like, "Why didn't this go my way?" I knew that thing would make me happy or that relationship. Like if I was dating that guy, if only this happened, I would have been so happy. But guys, looking back on like the past few years of my life, I'm so grateful that the relationship ended. That the guy I wanted to date, we didn't end up dating.
As you can see, I don't know if you noticed, but my hair is different because I cut it and I bleached it. Basically got highlights. I still have some of my roots and my natural hair color, but most of it right here, it's bleached and highlighted. This happened 2 days ago. I don't know what came over me. I don't know what possessed me. But a month ago, I started looking on Pinterest on my phone at different girls who had their hair like highlighted and cut short. And I thought, "Wow, it looks so nice. It looks so pretty. I could make my hair even prettier." And guys, the thing is, I knew my hair was pretty. The color, I loved it. The length, it was so beautiful. And it was natural. That's That's the thing that's getting me. It was natural and I didn't even have any color in it. And I absolutely adored and loved it. But I thought that if I got highlights, it would make my hair even better and I would be even happier, you know? I went and got it done. After, guys, I came home. This is so embarrassing. I just had a meltdown. I was crying so hard because I wanted to rip this hair hair out of my head and get my hair back. And I really wish that my mom, she would have told me not to bleach it. Because after she told me that bleach kills your actual hair color and that this is permanent. Like my whole head needs to grow out for the color to return. And so when I when she told me that I was like Oh no. Guys, I feel like that's the biggest mistake that I made of my life so far and hopefully that'll be the biggest, nothing bigger. But that's the thing. I thought that if I got highlights I would be happy. Like happier, you know? Instead I turned out to be miserable.
Guys, this is day three and it's growing on me. I'm not as sad about it. And what helped me is so many people told me already that it looks beautiful and like pretty because I thought it looked okay, not not that good. >> [snorts] >> But also the lighting makes it more yellow right now, but like indirect sunlight it looks better. And sometimes when you get the things you want, if my hair would have turned out good, you know? It could have turned out better, of course. It could have turned out worse. But if you finally like, for example, get that designer bag that you wanted. You will be happy. Of course you'll be happy for like the first couple days, weeks, maybe months. But then that thing that you got or invested in becomes your routine and your habits, your everyday life. And so you don't even notice it anymore at one point.
When I first moved into this house, I was so happy because I had my room and our whole house was redone. Like we made it our dream house, basically. And all the styles and colors we loved. And I was so grateful and happy. I was over the moon about our house and I couldn't believe that this actually came true because it was like a dream, you know? But after living in it, there was a point where I got used to it and I stopped noticing it. And it wouldn't be the first thing that I would come in and would be grateful for or be excited about because it became normal. And that happens with everything in life. But the thing that catches here, guys, you have to find the way to be grateful for it still after many years. To be still grateful for your brother, for your sibling, for your sister, for that annoying sibling, you know, drives you crazy. Be grateful for them. God gave you a gift, you know? Be grateful for it. Be grateful for your family, all the time that you get to spend with your loved ones, with your friends.
Nowadays, I think the biggest problem is people put their hope into things. They put too much focus on materialistic things, and that's not what makes you happy. And I keep repeating this because I think it's very important. And every year that I get older, I realize that it all comes from the inside, from you internally, not from the outside. Here's an example for someone who, for example, wants flawless skin. And they start like paying expensive procedures, doing all these beauty treatments, like getting facials, face masks, you know, using this collagen product and this. But, if they do not have good nutrition, good sleep, perfect water amount take, movement, their face is not going to look flawless. They're not going to get beautiful, glowing, perfect skin because it's not what you put on outside, but it's what you put in internally. How you fuel your soul, your mind, and your heart. And I will forever root for that, for your internal mind. And I think that's even more important than your physical looks, than trying to fix things on the outside because if you just try to fix things on the outside, you'll just patch it up. But that won't fix your core issue, the core problem.
So many people are depressed. So so so many. I know so many that feel bad about themselves every single day. That struggle with heartache, with doubts, anxiety, stress. So many people drink. They try to drink down their problems. So many people overeat. They try to eat desserts, just eat stuff themselves with all this food to stuff down their emotions. So many people do drugs to suppress their problems, to forget them. And I don't want that for myself or for you. I want us to find healthy ways to be able to cope with issues and problems that arise, and then find ways to be happy and joyful naturally. Because guys, it always comes back down to the basics. It was never about making it complicated and complex and expensive and just so confusing. It was never about that.
Loki guys, when I started going to high school, I overcomplicated my life so much because I was like, I need everything to be perfect. I need to write down a perfect schedule, perfect list, and I need to have all these skin care products, and I need to have the perfect outfit for school, have the perfect stationery, to buy everything I need. I would be watching these videos on how to be productive, how to be like healthy and happy and being your it girl era. Guys, I don't know how many videos I watched like that, maybe millions, like millions, honestly, thousands, hundreds. But did those videos help me be healthier? Help me be happier? No, of course not. Because if you just listen to something, if you're just trying to motivate yourself back to life, nothing's going to change if you just keep listening to some motivational videos. Yeah, of course it can give you a boost of inspiration, but if you don't actually go back to the basics and actually do things, you won't be happy. I'm saying this because happiness actually takes work. Like it's so easy to complain about things. It's all easy to find a million things to be ungrateful for, to complain about, to be miserable about. Guys, it's so easy because I've done this. I've done this far too many times. My brothers do it. And when I'm looking from the side, you know, when it's not me, when I see my brothers for example like whining about something or being so upset or heartbroken, to me that's just funny. I'm like, just get over it. Like it's not that big of a deal. Like why are you so invested in this problem? It already passed. It's not here anymore, you know? Or if it's a bigger problem or something, I'm like let's just deal with it, you know? Like calm down, talk about it, and fix the issue.
If you're just ruminating on the negativity, just constantly talking to yourself bad and being like my life is horrible. I'm ugly. Like I'm not happy. Nothing ever good comes my way. Guys, that is how you're going to feel. Because what you affirm, what your thoughts are, that is how you're going to feel and that's going to become your reality. But when you take yourself out of that box, out of that negativity, what I like to think is that negativity is like a little tiny box and you can trap yourself inside and throw away the key. Because you guys have the control to do that. Like you literally can lock yourself up, throw away the key, and be miserable. Or you can get out of that box and throw it out into the ocean and start from there. And so many times when I started my day intentionally, like actually being grateful, being happy, choosing to be happy. Guys, happiness is a choice. It's not something that grows on trees or falls down from the sky on you. You can like always count on yourself being happy. No. Of course some days you can be more joyful and others you can be more contained and not as excited about life. And that is okay. We're always fluctuating. We have ups and downs. But thing is is not digging yourself deeper into the hole that you're already in, you know? You have to like climb out of it and keep walking. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Guys, I love Dory and Nemo and that's what Dory says. She says, "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming." That's her little song and mantra. So really apply that. And yet it's so simple, guys. It was never about making things complicated.
Let me give you guys an example. All these influencers that promote weight loss, you know? They're like, "Here is the ultimate guide. Here is the no BS guide. You need do this and this and buy my course and drink this and maybe take these pills and tablets and like this will definitely make you like skinny or whatever or leaner or toned. Guys, anyone who wants to lose weight knows how to do it already. It's not that hard. It's actually very simple. Just portion control, eat healthy nutritious like high fiber foods, protein, cut out the processed sugars, processed additives, all of that, sodas, like cut that out. Bam, you're going to lose weight. But why do people not lose weight and still try to find the answers in some videos or guide? It's because we want to make things complicated for ourselves. We want to be like, oh, for me to be happy, I need this miracle to happen. And I know I'm being like dramatic. It's because I'm so passionate about it. It's something I've discovered for myself that the basic is always the best. Like just go back to the basics.
When you were a little kid, you didn't need much to be happy. Even when I look at my brothers, they are so happy just riding their bike, jumping on the trampoline, playing with our dog. It means the world to them. And it also means the world to them when I spend time with them, when we cook something together, when we do like face masks or watch an old-fashioned movie or scrapbook. They're so happy and their happy faces just light me up, guys. So, spend time with your loved ones, with your family. Focus on internal relationships, not on outward factors like getting more beige or getting all these awards or achievements. I'm not saying don't be productive, don't have goals, don't have a purpose. I'm not saying that because we do need to have a purpose. Like that's what keeps us going. It fuels our heart and our soul and our mind. But don't let it consume you. Don't let outward external material things consume you and don't put all of your hope and heart into it. Because at the end of the day, that is not what will make you happy. What makes you happy is the basic and simple things that you forgot you knew how to do.
Guys, when I was little, like up till I was 14, I was the happiest person in the world, the happiest kid. It's because I wasn't constantly scrolling on my phone, comparing myself with these perfect influencers. I wasn't consuming all these YouTube videos on how to be the it girl, how to have everything perfectly together. I wasn't constantly seeing all these designer bags and these makeup products and this hair and these outfits and all that blah blah blah and me now wanting to get them. Like I didn't have that. I didn't know that world and I didn't need to because I was perfectly fine and happy just living my life. The second you get this, I don't know what age you got your phone at, like 12, 10, 13, 14, 15, 16. When you get this and if you let yourself get consumed in this, if you stop living in the real world, but start living in comparison, in the highlight reels, you're not going to be happy. And that's what I noticed about myself. It's okay to get inspiration, to get motivation from somebody who inspires you. But there is a fine line between making it your whole world and making it all about your identity and then learning how to come back, bring yourself back to yourself, bring yourself back to your inner child, how you were like when you were a child, back to the simple things that made you happy.
Guys, because happiness is not hard, it's not complicated, actually hidden in the basic things. But then at the same time, happiness is something that you need to make a conscious choice about because as we get older, when we become middle schoolers, high schoolers, young adults and so forth, we start to see the world differently. We start to perceive all the good and the bad and the negative and the positive. And when we were kids, we just knew the positive and the happy moments. Like we didn't know about the scary wars that were happening in the world or all of these influencer products, or that people were going hungry, you know? We didn't know about all the distresses until we became adults, you know? Till we grew up. But, the beauty of choosing to be joyful is not letting yourself get too serious, not letting yourself grow out of being happy. And too many people grow out of being happy. That is like the saddest thing, you know?
And I literally noticed that recently, like a month ago. I started reflecting and I was like, "Right now, at this moment in my life, I have everything I ever wished for, and I have even more than I wished for. I have everything I ever wanted. Then, why do I feel like I still lack something? Why do I feel like I still need more things to make me happy. I still need to get more stuff to feel fulfilled. Why?" And it's because all the expectations and standards of the world were placed upon you by outside influences. But, when you were born, you didn't know all of that. Hate and doubt and stress. You did not know any of that. All you knew is just being you, being your happy little pretty baby. Go back to that.
Also, another thing is, if you're feeling like left out, if you feel like people don't want to be your friend, or they're bullying you, or treated poorly, forget about those people, please. Because those are not the quality healthy relationships that you should be forming and that you should be investing in. Whatever people say about you, be the truth. You shouldn't take it for the truth or as a fact. You should know who you are. Believe in that only.
Guys, and honestly, so much of the self-analysis that happens, or perception of like, "Wait, this person looked at me weird." Or this person didn't say hi to me, that must mean they hate me. Guys, people are busy. People forget. People are so invested in themselves and in their life and how they're perceived, they're so worried about themselves, that they don't have time to think negatively about you or make you feel bad on purpose. All except bullies, cuz like some people like find joy in hurting other people, but you just need to not engage with that. Because the more you engage with it, the more you fuel the fire. Basically, you're just pouring oil, you know? But, if you just disregard it completely, then that person who's bullying you, they're not going to have anything else to say because they see that their bullying doesn't work on you. You just don't care. And why are you trying to win their approval anyway, like of these people? They're the cool kids, the popular kids. Why are you trying to win their approval if they're treating you that way? Who are they? They're nobody in your life. You should just forget about them.
Guys, and I've spent way too much time caring about what other people think of me, about, you know, trying to be everyone's friend, try to people please, be nice. But, guys, people pleasing, that is so exhausting. And that will empty your cup. They'll steal your joy. Same as comparison. So, learn not to do that. This is a gentle reminder that not everything is lost. Like, you have hope. You still have hope. You can get out of this mental rut and bring yourself back to happiness.
Also, another thing is, if you made a mistake or you embarrassed yourself or you were mortified or feel like you failed at something, let me remind you that everyone has felt this way in their life at some point. Everyone has felt embarrassed and bad about themselves in some way or another. But, the thing is other people don't remember it. Other people won't remember it in a year, even like in a couple months, because they don't think about you as much as you think about yourself. And for you, like you can remember the mistake you made or how you embarrassed yourself for life, your whole life you'll keep going back to it and thinking how bad it was. But, guys, nobody else remembers or will remember. I'm telling you that. And also, if you failed at something, just know that that's a chance to keep trying. That just means you can get up and start trying again. And I love this quote. It's from Anne of Green Gables, which is my all-time favorite series. The sun will still rise even if I failed this geometry test. That just brings so much warmth and like center and peace to my heart. And guys, it might be something else. It might not be your geometry test. It might be a performance, a concert, telling someone you like them and then being rejected, you know, feeling so mortified. But guys, the sun will still come up even if you make a mistake or not. And the thing is, it was either an experience or a lesson. And those experiences and lessons that you get along the way will help you with your journey.
And lastly, I'll leave you guys with this, and that is you have your own unique path. Please don't compare yourself. If you see someone successful or happy, or they just finally got the thing that they wanted and they're posting it online on their social media, guys, that is a highlight reel. I'm reminding you once again because I don't think we can be reminded enough, you know, we should always remind ourselves that that is just a highlight reel. Be happy for the people. I think it's so cool when you can, instead of being jealous or envious, you can be happy for someone and then take that as inspiration and then find your own moments to shine. Find your own moments to be grateful and happy for. I think that's gold and so valuable and a treasure to be able to be that person.
Guys, naturally, I am like one of those people that I'll cheer someone on. Like if they did something good or if they succeeded, I'll be like, "Yes, you go! Like, woohoo! You you did it. Good job. Amazing." And so, if you're not someone like that, I encourage you to try to have that optimistic, positive, cheering people on mindset because when you cheer on other people, other people will cheer for you. They'll be happy when you finally accomplish something. And guys, yeah, everyone has their own path, their own journey. No single person is the same. And so, embrace every up and down, every journey, every struggle, and learn how to deal with it calmly and collected. Guys, this is something I really need to work on because sometimes I can get like so angry and like hot-tempered just like Anne of Green Gables, and nobody's perfect, but we can just learn and try to do our best every single day.
And guys, finally, this is the last part that I'll leave you with, and that is your best is good enough. It was always good enough. Guys, I really hope you enjoyed this video, you learned new, that this video uplifted you. Please let me know in the comments below what type of videos you want to see, what topics you want me to talk about with you guys. I'm so so grateful that you're here. Thank you so much for watching this video, and I love you guys. I'll see you in my next one. Bye.