Transcription
Last but not least, I want to thank me. I want to thank me for believing in me. I want to thank me for doing all this hard work. I want to thank me for having no days off.
All right. What's good y'all? Welcome back to the Onyx Report. Black mask news for the day. Like, share, subscribe, join, donate, support the show, and hit the hype so we can continue to bring you these independent blackmail thoughts.
So, yeah, that's pretty much how you going to have to roll on Father's Day, fellas. Now, there will be a select few of you that will probably be acknowledged properly and all of that good stuff. My bet is the majority of you who are fathers will likely not be. So, take some tips from Snoop on that one and handle it the way you need to handle it. You know what I mean?
But uh beyond that, you know, um I just wanted to say shout out to all the fathers. Happy Father's Day to you. Hope you all are enjoying your day, whatever the hell that means. And I definitely hope you are able to kick it with your kids and and enjoy it. You know what I'm saying?
Truthfully, I wanted to take some time out to do a little show to honor the brothers who are putting it down and those who are trying to put it down and are working toward getting better. Um, both types of fathers need to be honored in my perspective and we need to support one another about uh improving on our fathering skills as it were.
The other thing I want to point out is that to those of you who have your fathers, many of you know uh I lost mine um this past February, you know, um give them love when you can, man. I mean, acknowledge him when you can. I hope you have a good relationship with your father, you know. Um, but appreciate the time while you have it because the [ __ ] goes quick and it's very easy to forget that that happens. So, just wanted to put that out there.
Uh, but today, you know, we're going to talk about Father's Day, but we're going to start with the foundation of what many black men, be they fathers or not, um, what we're more familiar than not with, uh, and that tends to be disrespect. And we're going to look at several examples of disrespect and see how that type of treatment undergurs um Father's Day. Um so check this out.
"I have been in a six-year relationship and I feel that he lacks masculinity."
Examples.
"Recently a guy touched me inappropriately. I did tell him and he did nothing. His nice guy act is causing him not to be a leader. How do I tell him that this is unattractive and if he does not change, I will leave."
There are different reasons why a man may react in that situation. I know dudes who if a dude look at his girl the wrong way, he'll crash out and tell the whole room up. And a lot of times we've been programmed and raised to believe, hey, that's what masculinity looks like. And no, that's what stupidity looks like.
So again, you got to be able to analyze the situation. I got a homeboy who was walking his girl down the street and there was four dudes standing on the corner. Somebody said something slick to this girl like, "Damn, she got a fat ass." His girl got mad at him, right, that he didn't do nothing. So they argue on the way to the car. He go to the car, go get a gun, and come back and shoot two of them.
Now he in jail for the next 20 years, right? Because he's trying to listen to what she deems as masculinity. No, you got to analyze the lead. Part of being a leader is sometimes making an unpopular decision so we can get the hell home.
So again, there are different types of leadership. If you want a man that's going to, hey, lead leadership with just pure brain, no, no brain, then you're with the wrong guy. There's nothing wrong with that. But we can't say he lacks masculinity just because he didn't crash out in that situation. There's context there. And we got to figure out what the context and nuance is.
"I keep quarters in my pocket so I can call the cops."
You know how much taxes I pay. It's them [ __ ] job to take it. No, I'm just playing. Baby girl, we rich. We are not about to be fighting no [ __ ] club, right? We're not going to do that. We're going home and going on vacation tomorrow. That's what we're doing. And I need you to protect me in those moments too, cuz you hyping me up may inspire me to act a certain way that that's that's not becoming, right? So that's my opinion about it. Anybody else?
"I am also dealing with an extreme health issue and I feel like he's not able to or he would not be able to help me with that. So before I would bring him down in that, I decided to just separate first, deal with that. I do have a daughter, you know, he's not the father of her, but he's still in her life. He still sees her. He's still whatever. But just right now, I am trying to save myself and see if there's something I can do as well with trying to teach him how to show up for me in these protective ways."
"Are you holding on to something that's evident, it's time for you to let go?"
"Probably."
"Why you still holding on to it?"
"I don't know."
"What I'm saying is for the both of y'all."
"If you saying that he doesn't show up in a way that you would want a man to leave, we have to let that person go because you may be blocking him from a woman who actually appreciates the things that he does as well, right? And then you may be blocking yourself from the man that you actually truly desire. You know what type of man that you're comfortable with. You know what type of man that you want. He lacks the the type of leadership that you want."
"How did he get the spot?"
"Because I'm a single mom. I got health issues and I got needs for structure and infrastructure."
And it's it's it's the low vibrational link up. It's no offense to the humans. If you know, I when when we when we take shorts, we get shorts.
That's why it's real dangerous to be out here just trying to link up to get your bills paid, right? Or get laid. All right. So, uh, you know the deal. We're talking about disrespect at this current moment. This woman got up in front of this crowd to emasculate her man because he didn't, you know, assault some men they walked by that offended her, right? And Trill put her in put her in the right place. I appreciate that. Uh, one of the statements made at a certain point though was was when he said, "You need to protect me in a particular way." And I think that's something that both men and women have lost sight of, that the protection in a relationship went both ways. It just manifested itself differently. You know, men were charged with the physical protection, but there were things that women used to do that protected their men. And I used to see these things growing up. You know what I mean? If it was if it was a forgivable slight, but the woman knew that her man might kill somebody over it, she wouldn't tell him. Not for the sake of the stranger, not because she was scared of her man, but to protect him because she knew he would crash out over it for her. She would she would she would monitor and carefully choose what to share with him based on what would protect him because she knew what he would do to protect her. That used to be a form of protection in relationships. Now you see a lot more um pitbulling, you know, where women flex. They enjoy the flex of sending their man against another man or another group of men. They enjoy the feeling of it, but they don't always think about the long-term repercussions of it, who could lose their lives, what could take place. So that mutual mutual protection played out in different ways. Men protected uh women physically, women often protected men in those kinds of situations. And and to be clear, I think Trill with what he said was exactly correct. Sometimes the protection takes form that isn't, you know, macho. It isn't, you know, doineering. It isn't physical. It's we going to get home tonight. You know what I'm saying? These guys want to pick a fight in the parking lot, but we have a life to live. And it's just not worth it. It's not out of cowardice. It's out of strategic intelligence. Because even if I do go over there and handle the situation, now I got to wonder if I'm going to go to jail. Now I'm going have to hope that, you know, nobody gets hurt too bad, including myself. You know what I mean? There's so many concerns that pop up, you know? So, some men become extremely discerning about when to use physical force. And there's some women that just want to see it on their behalf because it feels good. And so, when a man decides that the situation is not worth it, he can lose points in his woman's eyes. They could have a home. They could have kids. They could have great careers. They could have, you know, goals. They could enjoy things in life. But if he doesn't crash out in this given moment, he's lost respect. So, this is why I played this clip. The the emasculation and the disrespect is something that men are far too familiar with. Let's look at a different type of disrespect. Excuse me.
So, this is uh something you can find at local12.com. This is dated June 18th, 2026. and it deals with a woman in Kentucky who is charged with attempted deletion after running over her husband. According to police, the image is right there. Right. Says Louisville, Kentucky, Kentucky woman was arrested this week accused of intentionally hitting her husband with a car. Police said 50-year-old Margie Jones' arrest stems from an incident Sunday. Crews were called uh to Roy Wilkins Avenue near 9th Street and Broadway in Louisville's Russell neighborhood around 4:00 a.m. where Jones's husband has been found injured in a parking lot after being struck. The victim was taken to the hospital with life-threatening injuries and remains in critical condition. Right. Jones was arrested Wednesday and charged with attempted murder, wanting endangerment, leaving the scene of an accident, failure to render aid involving death or serious physical injury, and disregarding a traffic control device. She's currently being held at Louisville Metro Department of Corrections while the investigation is ongoing. Now, in her mug shot, she's smiling. Right. Now, let's see. Now, obviously the disrespect here is what she did, but let's actually take a look at the other reason I wanted y'all to see this. Now, I apologize if these images are too small to read. I'll read a few uh for you, but these are the comments under the article when they were posted online. You know, I think this is particularly Facebook. Uh, but shout out to Benny for shooting me these. Hope you're well. Appreciate that. Uh, but let's read a few of them. Uh, the top one on the left says, "Her face tells me he deserved it." Right. I've had that face after finally standing up for myself, too. Right. That's interesting. What is What was the family a couple months ago? The Fairfax family when the father killed the the wife and shot the kid. I mean, if the men stood up and said, "Man, she must have deserved it. I know that. If he had if he pulled a gun, she had to have done it. I've been in that situation before." How do you think that would even be received? It makes no sense. The next statement, "It's sad, but she most likely had a good reason for doing what she did." One, "It wasn't her. She was with me at brunch drinking mimosas." Laugh. Laugh. "I guess her face says, 'And I'll do it again.'" I mean, she is smiling after way after all, right? What he do? What did he do? Cuz he did something. Some women will do anything to get out of doing the laundry. They're making jokes. But what did he do, sis? Well, what was he wearing? Right. If I enjoyed it, was a picture, right? Uh, this may be Mario's sister. She smile, too. I don't know what that was for, says, but like, did he cheat? Cuz if so, right? Did she hit reverse a few times? See, and I've said this before, right? Infidelity is grounds for murder as far as some women are concerned. But when the woman is is unfaithful and the man exacts that type of revenge, all of a sudden it's an atrocity. It's a reflection of what all black men do to black what all black men do to black women. I mean, it's it's ridiculous. It Somebody needs to go to the chair, but when it's a woman, well, he must have, you know, he must have cheated, you know. Um, somebody else said, "He chose the bear." Right. Someone else said, "She's smiling, so yeah, don't give a [ __ ]. I need to know what he did." Next one says, "It's the smile for me." Next one, "Are you really married to your significant other if you don't run each other over at least one time?" See, it's just making light of it, right? "Cruise control was stuck." Haha, this is funny. "She must have watched The Polygamist on Netflix and had a dream about him cheating. Run, man, run." "She was smiling like Anne did and I got bond money." Right. A couple more pages of this, right? "Comments sound like she gonna have money on her books. What'd he do? There may be a good reason. Well, before we pass judgment, what did he do?" Yeah. You, if a man did this, there is no "What did she do?" As far as the public is concerned, as far as mainstream society is concerned, as far as the majority of women in the black community and a good portion of men, there is no "What did she do?" She could have lied about the parentage of his kids. She could have cheated on him with his best friend. She could have, I mean, it it doesn't matter. In the black community especially, but even in mainstream society, there's never a reason to bring harm to a woman. But if it's reversed, it's the first reason harm should be brought to a man. Right? It's ridiculous. "Her facial expression says, 'Damn right, I did.'" "Her face says, 'Okay, I'll do it again.'" Uh, "What happened before?" "She tested her brakes. Judge, she was just seeing if her brakes was installed properly before getting on the highway." Haha. Right. "Well, what did he do to cause her to do it? I'm nosy." Right. "When you pose for your mug shot photo like you're getting a new work badge. You have zero regrets." Remember a few months ago when they were telling the world how much black men hated black women, right? Because these these several men were were killing their wives. Remember that? And it's not like what we're what I'm reading here is new. We've been hearing this for years. This is old. Much older than what happened a few months ago. But a few months ago, these these several, there was about two or three cases where men were killing their families and and had assaulted and killed some of their wives. Some had shot their wives. And that was treated as if this is what black men do. This is this this is they they hate us. They murder us. This was the this was the language. And I've shown you cases like this where wives have killed their husbands for no real reason. And the response from far too many women is always the same. Always the same. And nobody says anything, right? Like it's acceptable, right? "What was he wearing?" "Some husbands put you through the ringer. Have y'all seen Snapped? She looked like, 'Yes, the [ __ ] I did.'" Right. "Side gold tooth. Don't play with it." I mean, honestly, the look on the mug shot and everything, it does, it does make you want to dig a bit deeper into the situation and wonder what happened to lead to this event. "Can't a girl have a hobby?" Haha. I mean, tell us the backstory. "He didn't see the car." Haha. "If perimenopause rage was a person, right?" All of that is cute, right? "Getting smacked before Father's Day is diabolical." "If Play With Me If You Want To was a picture." "Left him for dead. I know one of us wrote the caption." Haha. "He forgot to take out the trash, didn't he?" All jokes. All jokes. "Her face says and did several times." Okay, but what did he do to push her to that point? Yeah, this is constant. I don't know the story, but something about her face gives "I'm finally free." Right. So now he's an abuser. He's a rapist. He's cheated on her. I mean, all kinds of excuses have popped up with no evidence. You know, he could be a monster. He truly could. But the fact that that's the first assumption without any evidence is ridiculous, right? But this is what we see. This is what I mean when I talk about disrespect. This is the kind of stuff I'm talking about. But this isn't it.
Check this out. This was something I was sent on Facebook. It's "Get your baby daddy jumped day for Father's Day. Rates starting at $250. Inbox me his pic and height and weight for a correct quote. If he win, rates are not refundable." Right. Haha. This is how black men are treated. You'll find no other group of men in the world treated like this. None. And I'm not even going to show you examples of women uh fighting uh over who should get honored on Father's Day. We're not even going to go into that in this show. But no, I brought it up every year when I've seen cases of it and it always happens, right? And we're the only group of men that deal with that kind of public humiliation where women actually want to fight with you about being honored on Father's Day. But this is the kind of stuff we're talking about. This is the kind of of rampant disrespect. Kevin used to call it low boiling contempt, but it's only grown. It's only snowballed. And this has been, I mean, I've seen this since I was a kid in the 70s. I mean, this is this is all tied to [ __ ] ain't [ __ ]. It's just metastasized into so many different things. So, when we get to something like Father's Day, it's real hard to actually see fathers being honored. Because the fundamental underlying structure in place in the black community, and it has grown to be such more and more year after year, is a a a serious disrespect, dishonoring, and contempt for black men. So, how do you honor the the the the most powerful uh form of black man, the father, the head, the leader, right? We use that language. That that's something the black community has engaged in for centuries, right? Much of it is rooted in a number of different passed on traditions, including religion, but there has been an open attack on all things men, all things uh oriented to men. And fatherhood is the highest form of manhood. It it embodies not only leadership, but head of family. And it has been under attack. And thus, because it's been collapsed with black men, black men have been under attack. Both are simultaneously under attack. So much so that you get reactions like this from some people.
"I'm [ __ ] sick of it. I'm [ __ ] sick of it. Just take it off the [ __ ] calendar altogether. Take it off the [ __ ] calendar cuz nobody care about it any [ __ ] way. Yeah. [ __ ] Father's Day. Ain't nobody care about no [ __ ] Father's Day. I'm just checking into the [ __ ] hotel. I actually lay at the [ __ ] front. That's when I'm checking in. Ma'am, are y'all fully committed this weekend? I'm just trying to [ __ ] talk educated. I don't [ __ ] be knowing."
She said, "Oh, no, sir. This weekend we're like slow weekend. Nice. You You'll be fine. It'll be peaceful."
I said, "Slow?" I said, "I expected to be fully committed." No holiday weekend.
She said, "Holiday?"
I said, "Yeah, holiday weekend."
She said, "What? What? What holiday?"
I said, "Ma'am, don't don't even [ __ ] worry about it. Don't even [ __ ] worry about it." And I realized [ __ ] Father's Day is on the same [ __ ] level as Groundhog's Day. It's on the same [ __ ] level, man. Ain't no [ __ ] body care about Groundhog's Day. And they goddamn don't care about no [ __ ] Father's Day. So just take it off the [ __ ] calendar. All the [ __ ]. Ain't nobody gonna [ __ ] miss it. Ain't nobody gonna [ __ ] miss it. [ __ ] Oh, it's a holiday. You goddamn right. Is was it supposed to be a [ __ ] holiday? A fake [ __ ] holiday at this [ __ ] point. Let's take this [ __ ] off the calendar, man.
"Hey, what's up, Pops?"
"What's up, man? Where y'all been at?"
"We took ma to get something to eat. She was hungry."
"You wouldn't have took your mama to get something to eat."
"Yeah."
"Cuz she was hungry."
"I mean, what's wrong?"
"Okay. All right. So, anybody bring me anything back?"
"No, we thought you would ate already."
"You thought I ate?"
"I mean, yeah."
"Okay. All right. Okay. You know what today is, right?"
"No. What is it?"
"Sunday the game."
"What you mean? What is today? It's the Father's Day, man."
"Oh, you right. Yeah. I got you some. Yep. Are you you got me, sir?"
"Yeah, I got you."
"Let me see what you got me, man."
"Son, this look like my tool case."
"Yeah, cuz you said you was going to change the battery in my car."
"What? You want me to fix your battery on your car on Father's Day?"
"Yeah, cuz we had to take mama car to get her something to eat earlier cuz mine ain't worked."
"All right, man. Okay. All right. Go on. Go. Go. Go on. Go on."
"Are you going to cook, though?"
"Can I cook? You ain't getting on the grill."
"You want me to barbecue?"
"I mean, yeah, we hungry. We went to breakfast. So, it been a it been a while."
And people don't often understand fatherhood. Um, fatherhood is something that's changed over time. The social expectations of men and what they were supposed to do has changed even just in the last century, right? The earliest uh expectations were that you provided materially, as as Rock has pointed to. Did you pay the bills and so on and so forth? Knowing African-American history, knowing the extent to which wealth was not something we were able to accumulate and and pass down, knowing full well what Jim Crow was like, this was no easy task for men in a society that really sought to either eliminate them or at least underdevelop them to the point where they were ineffective entirely. And yet, black men did their thing regardless, right? But beyond that, it became in the 70s this need to be emotionally present with family members and and sacrificing uh your your your work, your desire to work, and and making sure you were physically and emotionally present for your children. And this is a process, but many men began to reach it and and make that and hit that goal, especially with Gen X. Gen X men and younger really started to improve uh in terms of their presence in their children's lives, their the the level of consistency, the time spent, you know, doing homework, doing doing chores, uh running errands, spending time playing, reading with their kids. More and more fathers did this even if they didn't marry, you know. So, shout out to the fathers that improve.
But I can tell you, becoming a father is a whole different thing. I thought when I was younger that you became a father the moment that a baby was born. That is a product of your loins. That wasn't the case for me. Not at all. For me, the process of becoming a father hit when I had a realization. And I'm going to show you where that realization hit. It was about um, I'd say might have been about 2:00 in the morning. I was in graduate school. I was working four jobs. You know, I was writing papers. I mean, usually you had to write about three 20-page papers, 25-page papers, you know, every semester at least. And sometimes a few classes you had to do a couple of them. So, I was constantly writing and working. And my son, after he was born, um, I I', you know, I worked out in my schedule how to spend some time with him, but, you know, I'd pick him up and put him to bed and then I'd go do my homework and, you know, see my wife for a brief moment. That was just the days would blend into each other. So, one night I'm up till two in the morning working on a paper and I'm kind of delirious. I'm exhausted and I I I step into the room. I'm headed to go to the restroom and I see this.
Yeah. About two in the morning working, grinding, books stacked from the floor till about three, four feet high, you know, just going through them, writing notes, putting in the outlines, structuring my papers, planning my work day cuz I got to be at work at 8 in the morning. And I'm just I just lost all energy. I lost all focus. I didn't know what I was going to do. And I stepped into the bedroom to head to the bathroom, and this is what I see. And I'm going tell you, man, sometime it it's I think it hits every man differently. This may not be what hits you, if anything. Maybe you didn't have any kind of, you know, experience like this. I had an epiphany. You know, it hit me and it was this, that that really did it for me because it really struck me that these two people I was responsible for. I was the buck stopped with me. And I just sat there and I stared at both of them. Just I don't know, I don't know how long, I just I just stared and I couldn't stop staring. I listened to them breathe. They were curled into each other and I realized, you know, this is my family. This is my responsibility. This was the moment I became a father. It wasn't exactly when my son was born. Now, I handled all the material things I was supposed to and I was in no way rich. Never. I I wasn't. I'm just saying, you know, the rent was paid. The fridge, the fridge was had food in it and so on and so forth. You know, I spent time with my son. I spent time with my wife. Best I could do in the midst of all that I was juggling. But I think this was the moment I became a father because as I'm staring at these two, it just, you know, it hit me. I will be responsible for these two in some form or fashion to the end of my life. You know, now little did I know that about four years later I would lose my wife, but still the responsibility was there and I I'm still living promises I made to her as it relates to taking care of my son to this day. So this, the responsibility never goes away. But this was the moment I became a father. Regardless of whether or not it's celebrated or acknowledged or any of that, this was the moment for me. And I'm curious to know in the comment section for those of you who are fathers, did you have an epiphany? Did you have a moment where you knew what fatherhood meant to you? Something that really brought it all home to you? This was mine. a feeling that these were two people I would die for, that I was responsible for, and that I would spend my life trying to take care of with every bit of what I have and who I am. What was your moment, you know?
But I'm going to let some brothers continue to kind of talk about Father's Day and let's hear what they have to say. So, as a father, you have to realize that no one's going to appreciate your [ __ ] ass. Okay? This is the truth, man. Listen, good men, good fathers, understand that most of us will never get our flowers above ground. And that's just because the world says that they want good men and men to stand up and men to be strong, right? But these are the same men that nobody wants to be around. Nobody wants to be around the father that says, "Hey, don't wear that. That that makes you look like a hoe. Don't do that, baby. You better than that. You don't you're not that. So, don't dress like that. Hey baby, don't talk like that because it makes you don't talk to your mother like that. Hey baby, come on. Let's go work out. Come work out with daddy. Stop being lazy." Nobody wants to hear this [ __ ]. But then we wonder why our kids are growing up to be terrible ass human beings. You know what I'm saying? Shout out to the fathers that are not appreciated, but they make sure that they keep these kids in line because the mothers can't do it by themselves. They need help. And a lot of time the mothers are the reason why the activity is going on. A lot of time the moms, they are so in their feelings that they forget to be structured and disciplined with the kids because they want the kids to like us. We got to teach our kids that how to be disciplined, how to talk, know when not to talk, and how to take care of their self, defend theirself, think for their self. So yeah, shout out to all the fathers out there, man, that be busting your mother. Yo, and it's a thankless job, but I'm saying thank you. And to the women that appreciate us, thank you, too. Yeah.
People keep talking about how men are hard to please and how y'all don't know what we want for Father's Day. Let me help you out. We're not hard to please. Couple things. Don't bring us to socks and draws. Don't want that. Already got it. Got enough socks. Got enough draws. Don't buy no more. All right. Second of all, just probably just leave us alone. Leave us alone. Sometimes men just want to chill and don't have nobody bother them. We don't want nobody asking us for nothing on Father's Day. We don't want nobody asking to borrow nothing. We don't want nobody asking us to do nothing around the house. Don't try to get us to do the things that you want to do on Mother's Day for Father's Day. That's not how it works. All we want to do is chill. If the game, let us watch the game. If your man plays the game, let him play the video game and leave him alone. That's that's that's it. That's all. Most men just want to be left alone on Father's Day. It's so simple. It's so simple. So don't pressure him with questions about what you want to do cuz he don't know. He don't know. But I can tell you what he don't want to do. Whatever it is that you want to do for you, he don't want to do that. He don't want to do that. So just just just just let us chill. Let us chill. All right.
Shout out to the brothers for helping us clarify what it is. And I want to be clear, you know? I really do. I'm doing this to honor black fathers wherever you are and whatever your situation is. and most particularly the fathers that are grinding to take care of their responsibilities and most especially their kids. So, I'm talking to the fathers that live as close to an idyllic life as possible and and who are enjoying their Father's Day, to the fathers that have gone through divorce court, who are dealing with uh kids who've been turned against them, who are struggling with trying to make sure their kids know that they love them and are doing everything possible to hold it down despite opposition. I'm talking to fathers between those two extremes and everything in between. I salute you. Happy Father's Day. Whether nobody whether anybody says it to you or not, I'm saying it to you because I know how often we may not hear it. Even when you're taking care of a household full of people, everybody might completely forget to actually honor you on the one day a year where you're acknowledged and it's a regular occurrence. So, I want to make sure that I do that. And to all of you out there who have boys who are fathers, man, shout your boy out. Let them know that, you know, give them a happy happy Father's Day. They may you might be the only one they hear from, you know?
But again, as usual, hit me in the comments section. Let me know what exactly uh your experiences have been, especially in relation to anything I've covered today. Let me know what the situation is with your kids and uh let's let's chop it up. So, I want to end with a slight little dedication. So, uh let me see here. Do that. I'll holl at y'all later.