Transcription
[Music]
Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson. Uh, your test results are in, and, uh, I must say, they're a bit unusual. Have you been overseas recently?
As a matter of fact, I was. I'm a Christian. I recently did some missionary work in India.
Oh, that's wonderful. Uh, unfortunately, it seems that you've contracted leprosy while you were over there. Now, don't worry, it's quite treatable. In the past, we had difficulty treating it because leprosy bacilli became resistant to the drug we used and it evolved, making the treatment ineffective because of leprosy evolution. However, we now use three separate drugs to treat it, which is currently a very successful method. So, relax.
Um, I'm required to tell you that there is a controversy regarding the validity of evolution.
Oh, no, no. Again, don't worry. You're in luck because the Holy Bible offers a leprosy treatment in Leviticus 14.
Oh, really? What does that involve?
Well, it involves taking two birds, killing one of them, and then dipping the living bird in the dead bird's blood and then using the living bird to sprinkle the dead bird's blood on you seven times. Then, according to the Bible, you will be cured of leprosy.
Oh, I see. You're lucky it wasn't always this way, you know. Before the Teach the Controversy Act was established, kids only learned about regular biology with no Bible science. Now you have a choice. So, which would you like? The scientific treatment that takes evolution into account, or the biblical treatment that takes God into account?
Um, um, I'll try the drugs.
Really? I thought you were a Christian missionary. You don't seem to have much faith in the Bible.
Now, wait just a second. Don't you dare question my faith. All right, fine. Just give me the biblical treatment.
It should be noted that the King James version of the Bible uses the word leprosy, and that some people think this is a translation error. Some believe that it refers to all skin conditions, including leprosy. Others think that it is some kind of affliction that can affect both people and houses, as the Bible also gives similar instructions for how to cure your home if it's been infected. As leprosy obviously cannot infect a house, the New International Version of the Bible changes the word leprosy to mildew.
If you do have a sore, rash, or some widespread skin condition, then please seek medical help. If, against my advice, you wish to defend the Bible and you decide to treat yourself or the mildew in your house with seven sprinkles of bird's blood, then please post the results in the comments section below. Thank you.