Transcription
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Hello! Today we will learn about a topic that many students are interested in, which is how to be confident in front of a crowd. This is a problem for many students at FPT, and even for me.
In the past, when I first joined FPT University, I still remember the time I taught my first class. When I read your writing, I was still very embarrassed. A student said that sometimes the teacher still feels nervous and not very confident in teaching. Oh my God, in the past, I tried so hard. There were times when I still felt so embarrassed.
So today, I will share a topic that has many lessons for myself and for you. The journey begins to help you learn how to be confident in front of a crowd.
Let’s share a first truth: what is the good news for us? The masters are disaster rulers, my dear. It’s not just me or ice cream who has this problem; we all will be disasters.
But the second level investment is a disaster. Do you know anyone? For example, Mr. Adam Khu. Now he is a very good speaker and a famous author in Singapore. He’s talented, and you are too. But in the past, he shared that when he was in school, he was considered a mentally handicapped student. He always sat at the last desk and never dared to stand in front of a crowd.
Or the author of the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People," Mr. Jamie Kennedy. This person is also someone who was not confident in speaking in front of a crowd and had a great fear of giving presentations.
We can also write about the human world. Next is the person who founded Apple. In 1987, he presented very hard, and in 1997, he started to become a more polite person. But it was not until 2007 that the hair guy could really be called a master of presentation, my dear.
Then we can rest assured that everyone is initially a novice.
What are the ways we can do? Below, I will share with you the ways from my own experience and the journeys that I have trained my students to become confident.
Especially, I will share the things I have learned from the masters.
So let’s find out the content of today’s session.
To become confident, the first thing we must do is accept and love ourselves deeply. Why does it have to be like this? In this life, the person who accompanies us the most, witnessing our joys, anger, love, hate, joys, sorrows, extreme sufferings, and extreme happiness, is no one else but ourselves.
We are the ones who accompany ourselves the most in this life. So, you have to accept and love yourself. We really want others to accept us, but if you don’t accept yourself, if you don’t love yourself, then others can’t do that either.
When we accept and love ourselves deeply, we raise our vibration frequency. We have raised our frequency, which means we lose the drug that brings good things to us.
We often fear things that we’re not perfect at. We’re afraid that when we present, our voice isn’t good, we don’t speak very well, or we have a local accent. We might even think we’re not attractive in appearance.
We might feel a bit dark, a bit short, skinny, or a bit plain, and those things affect our psychology. We’re afraid that others will see our weaknesses.
But remember, many studies show that appearance only accounts for 20 percent of our attraction to other people. The other 80 percent comes from the accepting and loving demeanor we have.
When we remember that our own characteristics may not satisfy us, that’s okay. We are the only version in this world; no one is like us. You are the only one.
We have to cherish that part of ourselves. We don’t need to compare ourselves with anyone; we are the only number one in this world.
If we have something we are not satisfied with, let’s look at it positively. For example, if I am a little small or a little short, people like that often stay young for a long time.
Or if I feel a bit fat, fat people are usually very kind to their husbands. Or if I feel like my skin is a bit dark, is it okay for your skin to be a bit dark?
There are millions of people in this world who have to go out in the sun every day to have skin like ours. So how about we think positively? We will see that everything about us is normal.
In this world, there will always be people who accept and love us. When we define ourselves, we don’t need the whole world to accept us. We always have people who love us: our dad, our mom, our friends, and even our future life partner.
When needed, that’s enough. There are always many people who see the beauty in us.
I have a college friend who has been studying with me for quite a while now. When I entered the class, I saw that he was not as good-looking as the others. He sometimes stuttered, and what was special about him? He was very small and had a damaged eye.
He had only one eye left, and this eye could not see. For a normal person, what would we see? If we have a defect, we might feel very ashamed of ourselves.
But believe in yourself, like this student told me. Then you have accepted yourself. You love yourself very much. In class, you are very confident and ready to stand in front of everyone to raise your hand to speak.
You give your opinion during group meetings, and you are very active. After two years and four months in school, you have really had a good academic record. Even many of his girlfriends admire him very much.
Now I know that my student has married a girl who is his old classmate, and they have a very happy life.
That’s what I realized: if you don’t accept yourself, no one else will accept you either. So the first thing is to love yourself deeply. Accept and love yourself deeply, okay?
That is the first thing to become confident.
The second thing I want to share with you is that to become confident, you have to start daring to act despite your fear.
Do you know what fear is? We define fear as the fear of future pain that we will experience. It is something that is in our mind and has not yet happened.
When we talk about fear, we might think, “I’m afraid others will laugh at me.” But you said nothing. You only think of things that are fears of pain in the future that you will meet.
This is not real; it is something you draw in your mind to prevent yourself from moving forward. So let’s act regardless.
Also, support the idea that it is not true. Do you remember? What does it mean here? We just act; just do it. If it doesn’t violate the law, if it doesn’t violate ethics, then we’re not sure, my dear.
Just keep moving forward. There’s one thing I see: often when we stick to actions, when we stick to difficult things that we think are difficult, the universe will support us a lot.
I often tell my students that when you are willing to act, the universe will bend to notice you.
If we do not act, then we do not achieve anything. When you do the difficult things you think are hard to start, you have raised your vibration frequency. You will see that conquering it is not difficult at all.
So you should act despite your fear.
The next idea to become confident is to always have a mindset like this: what other people think is their business, not your business.
We are afraid they will judge us, criticize us, or laugh at us. Remember one thing: what others think is their business, not your business.
What others think is even their problem; it’s not your problem. So why do you keep focusing on what other people think about you? It doesn’t matter.
We can’t be as bad as we think others think of us. We were not born to please others.
So what others think is none of my business. When you think that way, you can stand before people, and what others think won’t matter.
I’m not saying this in a negative way. I mean, I’m saying to my audience that their negative thoughts about me are not the problem we care about.
If you ever think like that, you will dare to stand in front of the crowd to share your ideas and focus on what you can bring to the table.
The audience doesn’t care what they think about you. A very good way that I often apply, and my students often apply, is to imagine.
The way we program knowledge is to imagine that if you want something to be successful, it must happen twice: once in your head and once in real life.
When ice cream imagines success, ice cream thinks about how well it will do that day, how successful its speech, its test, or its presentation will be.
Then its brain tends to follow what we imagine. If we don’t program our brains with a program about success and some kind of achievement, then negative thoughts will start to form.
Extreme fears will attack us when we sleep. Let’s start with positive thoughts and imagine yourself completing your presentations well.
The next idea that I like to share, a very important way to become confident, is to prepare. Because not preparing is preparing for failure.
I have experienced this many times in life. There are exams, presentations, and if I don’t prepare, I see that I did extremely badly.
So if I want to succeed or want to say something, there must be a preparation step. Whenever you feel self-conscious, you feel insecure about yourself, that means you’re not prepared enough.
Be prepared. American President Abraham Lincoln once said something like this: “If you give me six hours to cut down a tree, I will spend four hours sharpening the axe.”
You see, without preparing a lot, that is a metaphor for us to understand what we have to prepare for.
Success only comes to those who have the mindset of preparation.
Next, to be able to present well, remember that the practice part is the prerequisite part. Practice is where we, like players who want to go on the field, have to practice first.
Just like we want to learn to swim well, we have to jump into the water to practice a lot. Just like we want to ride a bike well, we have to jump on it and practice riding it a lot.
Even the first few times, we will have to drink water. Even the first few times, we will have to hurt our feet and fall a lot. We still have to do it.
Because repetition is the mother of all skills. Let’s practice, practice, practice. Practice makes perfect.
If you want to be good at something, when sitting in the middle as an audience, you nod, “Okay, let’s get ready.” But if you don’t dare to stand up, you will never be able to turn that skill into yourself.
The way we practice, I still tell my students, is that at least one presentation must be practiced at least four times. Four times is the minimum for important lessons, and then you have to practice more.
The last way we become confident is to ask questions of the audience. Asking questions is a way to make both the speaker and the listener focus on that issue.
They don’t even care about the issue of confidence or not because the audience is usually very curious. They are like children, always wanting to know something.
That is human instinct in general. So when we start asking questions, we stimulate the audience to think.
Initially, we imagine a lot. When I ask questions to the audience, it helps them focus on my speech, and they will be closer to you.
Then, self-confidence will trust me a lot. The way we ask questions must be simple, open questions.
For example, if I am making a presentation about getting rich or about money, let’s ask a fun question: “What would you do if you had a million dollars?”
The audience will start to buzz and bustle to find the answer and interact with you. The interaction between the speaker and the listener will help you become more confident, and the anxiety will disappear.
These questions must have a little humor and must be directed towards the topic.
So, dear ice cream, our subject journey today has come to the last session. I am very happy to have accompanied you in this subject.
In the life of ice cream, if you need advice or support, you can contact me at this email address and phone number. I am always available to support you.
Thank you for watching our videos in this subject. Thank you!