Transcription
Bullies do not stop in high school. They just grow up and get even nastier. If you don't know how to deal with them, they'll continue to feed on you for the rest of your life, and you're going to continue to be a victim to their abuse. And that ends now.
This video is not about killing them with kindness or just ignoring it. These are psychological strategies that smart women use to remain untouchable and not let bullies continue to feed off of us so that we can be mentally sane and live a good, happy life no matter who says what.
Hello, my name is Gracie Draaskovich. If you're new here, welcome to my channel. If you recognize me, welcome back. I posted a story the other day asking you guys what I should make my next YouTube video on. And a lot of you have been requesting how I handle bullies and nasty people in general. While I have a lot of content up about this topic in general, this video is going to be the ultimate playbook of psychological strategies that you can use to protect yourself against bullies and horrible, horrible people. Okay?
Maybe you're doing your makeup right now. Maybe you're about to go out. Maybe you're getting ready in the morning for work or school. Whatever it is, you can put this on in the background. Whatever you want. But just listen to me. This one is very important and we're just going to get right into it.
Section one is bullies thrive off of reaction. The psychology behind a bully or someone that is just very very mean and nasty is they operate on reinforcement. They feed off of the visible anger and pain that they cause people. They're a lot like mosquitoes. They don't actually care about you. They care about your blood. And your reaction is the blood. If you give them silence or a smile, it's like cutting off their oxygen supply.
I know it's a lot easier said than done to control reactions. I still to this day sometimes fall victim to it. It's just sometimes the audacity of people like really gets to you and it shocks you. But that's their whole point of doing it. Okay? They know that you're going to be shocked. They know that you're going to be caught off guard and that you're going to react back to them and that's like their whole play. So you have to keep in mind whenever someone is nasty and disgusting and a bully towards you, just remember they care about your blood, not about you specifically. They want that reaction. They want to see you fall. They want to see you become upset by something that they said because that reinforces the idea in their head that they can cause you pain. Okay?
We're not going to allow that anymore. And us smart women are not arguing with clowns and trying to go back and forth with clowns and play their stupid games. We're just like, we're not even going to join the circus, okay? We're not circus clowns. We are high value. We are independent. We're smart. And we shouldn't even be in the same room as someone that would do that. But sometimes it happens. and you're going to smile at them, look at them up and down like they're literally idiotic and insane for what they just said to you because they are. You're above them and they know it and you're not even going to give them that reaction. You're going to walk away and you're going to have a great time.
Getting into section two, control the frame. Don't defend yourself. If you look into the psychology of someone that constantly defends themselves, the person defending themselves is always in someone else's frame. Like, they are the ones being controlled. If you say something to me and I get defensive and I'm like, "No, I didn't do that. I would never do that, dig. I'm in your frame now. You put me in your box and I'm playing your game. They You've made the rules and now I'm catching up to you. If someone invites you to their house and it's on fire and you run in with a water gun, you've already lost.
When you come off defensive and you start defending yourself, you kind of in a way reinforce what they're accusing you of or said that you did. You're basically saying that their words hold merit so much so that you have to defend yourself against what they're doing. Like they like they are the government and they're claiming that you did something and they have proof of you doing you know what I'm saying? Like you don't defend yourself when someone's bullying you or being disgusting towards you because you don't want to reinforce anything about what they're doing. You want to treat them like what they are, which is crazy insane. A lunatic and a loser. Lunatics and losers don't deserve your defense. Okay? A defense takes a lot of energy and thinking and emotion, and you don't want to have that towards these people. You need to respond to them neutally or with questions that flip the spotlight back on them. Like a Uno reverse card. Oh, it's interesting that you think that. Why did you feel the need to say that? Or if someone comes up to me and claims that I'm a horrible, disgusting human being. I'm going to be like, and who are you? I've never seen you before in my life. I'm not going to reinforce anything that they just said to me. I'm going to flip the question back on them because what what are you doing over here? Like, smart women do not waste time proving innocence. Okay? Because we don't have to prove anything to anybody, let alone a bully. Okay? A bully is a bully. We don't have to go explain to them anything. Anything. People that are nasty don't deserve first of all your time, let alone an entire defense. No. No. I love to tell people, "Believe whatever you want about me. You can believe whatever you want about me. I don't care. I literally don't care. I have everything to lose if I sit here and defend myself and try to prove my innocence to you um so that they can like No, no, no. You can believe whatever you want about me. Bye.
Moving on to section three. Silence is louder than words. The psychology behind silence is so interesting and I talk about it a lot in all of my videos almost. I love using silence as a tool. This is the social dominance theory. Whoever breaks silence first is lower on the social ladder. Like imagine yourself when you're arguing with someone. If someone tries to argue with you or they're bullying you or they're being nasty to you and they want a reaction out of you, imagine you guys both in a chess match. Silence is like when you pick up your piece, hold it over the table and they're sweating, not knowing what you're going to do. Silence is power. Okay? Pausing is power. When you're insulted and someone's bullying you, pause. Wait, quiet. Say nothing. then move on casually. Like I said earlier, you know, you can make a little comment back if you want, as long as you're not defending yourself and everything that I explained. I make a lot of content on what I like to do and the evil ways that I am with people. Um, but they're very small and it keeps me in power and I get to walk away happy and always making the other person look small. Silence is not a weakness at all. It's a it's a chokeold. It's a silent power. As soon as you learn how to handle silence and make it work for you, you're going to be so golden when it comes to handling nasty people.
Section four, respect is visual before it's verbal. The psychology behind human respect is also very fascinating. Within the first 7 seconds of someone seeing you or meeting you, we size up respect. Literally within the first 7 seconds. 7 seconds is all that it takes. That's why appearances are everything. The way that you look, your posture, the way that you hold yourself, your tone, it matters more than words can ever explain. Okay? You you need to take care of yourself. You need to look like someone that respects yourself and loves yourself because automatically you become a hard difficult target for bullies. Bullies love to prey on people that they think are an easy target. Like someone that might like someone they think is insecure, has low self-esteem because they know that their words are going to have a lot of reaction on you and that you're going to act out of insecurity and it's evil because they're praying on you because they know you're insecure so that they can get that assurance in themselves. So, you automatically eliminate a lot of danger just by taking care of your appearance, looking like you respect yourself, and having good posture, and speaking well about yourself. Stand tall, maintain eye contact with people, control your voice, and never fidget. And I'm a fidgeter. I like to play around with my nails, my hair, and things around my phone. It's really difficult to get rid of this habit. I'm still working on it myself, but it will truly make the biggest difference if you don't look nervous. Because fidgeting, even if it's like un even if it's unconscious, it shows people that you are nervous. And that feeds back into the whole you might be an easy target, you're insecure type of thing. Smart women know how to weaponize their look, their appearance, and gain people's respect before they even have to open their mouth.
Section five, never, ever, ever compete where you don't need to. Bullies bait competition with you to drag you down to their level. That is the psychology behind that. They love to open a race with you and see if you race back with them because that again reinforces their actions. It's like if a Honda pulls up to you and you are in a Lamborghini and you're at a red light and the Honda starts revving its engine and the guy's looking at you like, "Let's race. Let's race." He has audacity. Okay? He wants to see if the Lamborghini or whatever nice car that you like is is going to race him. Even though we all know the Lamborghini is more expensive, it's harder to get, it's definitely faster, it's definitely going to win the race, and it's definitely a better car. you're the Lamborghini and you're looking out of the window and you choose to race the Honda because you let it get to you that they came up and want to race you. They're playing on that competition because as soon as your Lamborghini goes and races the Honda, you have just reinforced the Honda that it's on your level. Okay? That is why when someone's competing with you and likes to play these games with you, you have to know how to handle someone that is trying to race with you. And I get this all the freaking time. This happens to me probably on a monthly basis. I'm not even kidding. Where someone who is totally like totally nothing like me, like we have nothing in common. We are in different walks and paths of life and they obviously like struggle with their own things and they genuinely believe that they can like try to compete with me and race me. Like girl, I am the Ferrari at the light. I'm not going to race your little Fiat from 1981, okay? I'm not going to do it. I never fall for this game. People try it so hard on me. They think they're slick. Like, I see exactly what you're doing and you're pathetic. You're pathetic. Don't let this happen to you. It's like wrestling in the mud with a pig. You both get dirty. But the pig loves it. I love that quote, okay? The pig loves it. Don't let this be you. Smart women withdraw their value when someone's trying to compete with them. Do not fight for validation. You have to remove yourself from the game. If, like I said, these people that try this with me all the time. I disappear. I go on vacation. I I'm not involved in the conversation. Like, you thought I was going to race you. Yeah. You're not going to see me ever again or for a long time. At least if it's someone that I can't get away from. Like, we're not playing the same game. You're racing me on something so small. I'm getting on a flight and I'm going out of here. I'm vacationing in my life. Who are you? What are you doing? Like, this is embarrassing. Smart women understand that the crulest revenge is indifference. I love indifference. You need to love indifference. This is how you win when it comes to a bully or a nasty person that wants to compete with you. Indifference.
Section six, expose without attacking. I love this one. Narcissistic and toxic behaviors hate mirrors. I talk about this so much in my content. A lot of this is repetitive, but I'm really dissecting it in this video. Exposing their behavior back at them like a mirror in a calm tone destabilizes them. Like they don't know what to do. They don't ever expect someone to mirror back what they're doing to you. That is a lot of my content in a nutshell. Okay. I love being a mirror. it really like nasty people hate it and they never expect it. They never expect you to like give back what they're doing or to show back what they're doing to you. It destabilizes them every single time and just makes them off guard now. And now they're in my frame. Are you okay? You sound upset. That's an unusual thing to say in front of everyone. Are you okay? It's like turning the lights on in a room full of cockroaches. They all scatter. Being a mirror doesn't mean that you fully swing back full force at these people. It's just shining a light on them, you know, and then you let the person bury themselves. And I have so many creative ways that I like to do this. If you guys want a video on it, let me know. But I can't give out all my secrets.
Section seven, which is the last section, is to outgrow, but don't outfight. Like I said earlier, most bullies and horrible people are fueled by insecurity and envy. When you rise in life and you continue to go to places that they can't get into, they begin to lose access to you. Airplanes don't fight turbulence on the ground. They just climb higher up. Okay, we're we're not going to sit and fight with people that are below us and beneath us and want reactions out of us because they feel inferior to us. We We are going to keep climbing. We're going to keep rising. We're going to do better and better and better. and we're going to be in rooms that they could never fathom of even being in because they're way down there and we did the growth to get all the success and stuff that we wanted. It's like those Tik Tok videos that were a trend for a long time like I don't see my haters up here and they're like in a private jet or something or my haters couldn't afford to come here. I love that. That's what you want to emulate. That's the goal. Who cares about a bully and what they think about you? what somebody thinks about you. If you're on a flight to Europe right now or you're going to Monaco or you're out living your life like way ahead of way ahead of them, that is the best way to get revenge on somebody. Keep climbing higher. Keep going up the ladder. And if they get in a lucky spot where they get to see you in real life and put you on the spot and they choose to be nasty to you, you're going to use the tools that I explained to you and treat them like they're nothing. Like they're so small because they are. And you're going to move on with your life.
Here is the wrap-up with the big truth. Bullies will try everything that they possibly can to make you small like them. And it's your job to flip that script and make them be small in the end. Smart women focus on the power within ourselves to make any bully any nasty vile person just background noise. They're not going to decipher or change anything in your life. They don't have that power. They're small little nothing nobodyies. That is how you need to think about them because that's truly what they are. And you need to start treating them like it. You treat somebody like they're big and powerful and a somebody that has power over you. When you play their games back with them, when you defend yourself to them, when you argue back with them, you're it's like the Lamborghini Honda race that I explained. You are reinforcing. You're reinforcing them. You can't do that. The best way you have to listen to me. The best way, the only way to rise above and be better than the small, disgusting, vile bullies and horrible people is to get away from them. Get away from them. Rise above them. Okay? Get the hell away from them. Create distance. Make them lose access. They're going to feel so small and they're going to feel like a mosquito when the mosquito loses their blood supply. And that is how you deal with a bully.
Let me know if this helped you at all. Um, I love you guys. You guys are so so so nice to me. I love seeing all of your comments. Um, if you have something else specific, too, that you want me to talk about. I'm all ears. I love hearing what you guys have to say and what you think. Make sure, if you haven't seen my short form content, make sure you follow my Tik Tok and my Instagram, both at Gracie Draaskovich. If you aren't subscribed already, make sure you do because I post content like this all the time. Turn on my post notifications so you never miss a post. And as always, I will see you guys on the next one. Bye.