Lee's Class 2-24-25

So, uh, so last night, whenever, whenever we got ready to start the worship, Leif walked in. And he came over and gave me a hug. And he does weird stuff. If y'all had prayer for me, you'll know what I'm talking about. But he like, pressed his face against my face, which is just weird, you know? People believe, like, there's some believers that are just a little bit weird, you know? But when he did it, like, the whole inside of my body and my hands got hot.

And Lupe came in, 'cause she went to go get her sweater and came in. And she helped my hand. She goes, "Why is your hand so hot?" And I was like, "Yeah, I was like, you know how Leif does weird stuff? He pushed his face against my face." And since then, my body just started getting really hot. And, uh, and we talked about that for a minute. I said, "I've been praying like, just for a new, like, touch of fire." And then he started preaching about that, you know? I mean, that was part of what, what he shared with that guy. And so it was just like, and my, my wife, you know, you just have one of those little God moments, you know? Where you know that he's, 'cause I go with expectancy. Listen, I have to go into those things repeating to entertain a prophet in the name of pro, of a prophet is to receive a prophet's reward. If I go there looking to be a skeptic, then I'm not going to receive anything anyway, because I'm not receiving in the position that I should be receiving. Like, my thing is, I want to enter in childlike faith, believing in everything, right? But I go through my own anxieties. Like, one of the things I really went, I go through is the whole falling down deal. And not because I have a judgment against it, just because I'm like, I'm, you know, grown man. I don't, I, I want to be knocked over without knowing it by God, but I don't want to consciously get knocked over or choose to be. Does that make sense?

But the first time he ever came, the first time I ever met him, everybody's domino. And like last night, look, CJ doesn't even believe in any of that. And he was the first person they prayed for him, and his knees buckled, and he hit the ground last night. I don't know if y'all saw that, but, uh, and he don't even believe. He struggles with any of that. And so it was just powerful. But the first time he ever came, I'm walking all the way down to the end. Me and Ron are talking about it. I'm like, I'm, you know, I can't see myself just going down because of blah, blah, blah. And I'm walking over there, and I'm telling God, like, I need you to knock me down. I'm not willing. If he pushes me, I'm gonna, you know, blah, blah, you know, just going through it. And, uh, and the Lord goes, "Will you do it out of obedience?" And I was like, "Damn it." Like, I'm like, so I'm like, okay, God. So, but then he comes up and he starts praying for me. He whispers something in my ear. And he, and I feel his hand. So as soon as I feel his hand, I don't know if he pushed or not, but as soon as I felt his hand, I just went back 'cause I'm going out of obedience to God. And it was, God was setting me up for a wow moment. I didn't get like slayed in the spirit. I didn't get drunk in the spirit. None of that. But he started praying over me, and he's praying over me. He starts comparing me. I don't know if I've told you this story or not, but he's praying over me. When he's doing it, he's comparing me. He starts comparing me to this like, giant Viking dude that he knows that was like a Hell's Angel in Iceland. And in my mind, this is what happens 'cause we're flesh, right? He starts comparing me to this like, this straight Viking dude. And I'm like, in my mind, I'm like, "You're damn right." And he goes, "Not like that." He said, "Not like that. I just mean because you're a big guy like he was, but none of the other stuff." And then he starts praying, bro. And I, so I was able to receive because it was like, it just arrested my spirit because he called out my thought. Like, "Not that." And then started just pouring into me. And so it was really cool.

So at that point, and then the next time we went, randomly, me and my wife and his wife end up hanging out in the lobby. And then we find out it's his wife. And we, there was this connection. And we have access, uh, we have access to his like online university and all this stuff. So there's like Global Awakenings, there's Bethel, and then there's, I forget what his is called, but it's a. And I've gone onto a bunch. They have different online interactive stuff you can do. It's pretty cool. So anyway, uh, I waited till the very end. I was the very last person he prayed for last night. And so even on Sunday, remember I talked about Zig Lag for those of you that were there with us yesterday? I'd spoken about Zig Lag. And in fact, last week, God had told me I was coming through a place, like David, I was coming through my Zigg where I was having to encourage myself, where the people I was trying to pour into were coming against me. And that I just had to continue in exactly what it was that God said. God told David to pursue. So David pursued, brought everything back. But the most important part of it, the most important part of that whole thing was whenever they came back to those 200 folks and that had left, stayed at the creek 'cause they were exhausted. And the other people like, "We ain't giving them nothing." He said, "How are we to deny the victory that God gave us?" And so it was like, that's the Zigg. The zig moment is even in the midst of opposition, the acknowledgment that everything, win, lose, or draw, is of Him, for Him, and by Him. And my motive is just more Him, anyway.

So when I get up there, he, he confirms a handful of things. And then he starts speaking to that. He said, "You've now moved from Zig and you're headed to Hebron." And Hebron is where David was actually anointed king of, of Hebron and, and, uh, Judah, right? And he just starts talking. He said, "But you got to remember," he said, "you're raising up mighty warriors." And I've told you guys that before. He said, "You're raising up these mighty warriors." He said, "In fact, they're such mighty warriors that other people are going to desire your warriors." And we get, that's what happens, or at least that's what I see in this ministry. Like, you guys get raised up, y'all become these mighty men of God and these guys that really give excellence in the stuff they do. Not everybody, but a good majority. We're able to place y'all, and y'all start changing businesses. And so it's just confirmation of all that. He said, "You got to remember though," in one of these battles, he said, "David, in the midst of all of this, after being anointed king, he just desired a drink from the cool stream at this well in Bethlehem." And he starts talking about that. He said, "He, he just, he, he said it wasn't really about the stream, it was about the time when he would drink from the stream." That all he had to do was shepherd and all he had to do was fight a lion and a bear. And everything was simpler because he had all day with God all the time. He said, "But now, in the place of pressure, in the place of reigning and ruling, you have to remember that whenever you feel those pressures, you're going to have to fight for that cool, clean stream from Bethlehem." It was just really, really powerful. It was really, really good. Uh, and so that was my experience. And the beautiful part about it is, neither did I feel prompted nor pushed to hit the ground, which was, I was willing. Like, I wasn't going to willingly. I needed God to wreck me last night. But, but he didn't even, he, it's like God had told him that I was having anxiety about that. And so that never even happened. Happen. He just started really pouring into me from one to another, invited me to some stuff. And then, uh, let me know that personally, like, whatever we needed, like, he was, he was there for us. And, uh, he really had a heart for our ministry. And that he's working on a book with the guy about Nehemiah. And he said, it just felt very, he said, "I was reading the book of Nehemiah before I came." And it was just really, really cool. Uh, so that was my experience. I hope that, like, we go, what, what time did you, like, I didn't get out till like 11 o'clock last night. Yeah. And then I was up at 4:00 this morning at the gym. But, uh, so that means about 2:00, I might go home for a nap. Uh, what, it was.

He said, "This is what he said. Listen," he said, "He's not the one that gives any gift, and he's not the one that provides salvation." And so this is what I'll tell you. Listen, you entertain a prophet in the name of a prophet, you receive a prophet's reward. It doesn't say if you receive Johnny the prophet in the name of Johnny the prophet, you know what I'm saying? So there's guys there. Look, there's people that were going to come in contact with. What, come on, Elijah? What is it? I love that you just, that came, came to my head now. Or it makes sense now, 'cause it's like, I, okay, I don't know if this counts. But so this guy, there's this guy. We're on our knees. He tells us, "Come in front, blah, blah, blah, do our thing there." And I see this guy behind. Draw just goes, "Hey, should we go ask those two guys to pray for us?" And I don't even think they were the guys that were supposed to be praying for people. They were just there with us. Yeah. And I was just, at first, I was like, but then Draw was like, "Yeah, that's weird. That's weird." And I was like, "You know what? Why not? What do we got to lose? Let's go do it." And so Draw went up first, and I went up with him 'cause Draw did it. And I asked this random dude to pray for, "Hey, do you, do you pray for people?" He was like, "No, I can pray for you." And he prayed for me. And I was thinking, like, "I hope this is like, counts as Leif praying for me too." It does. Listen, but it's the spirit that does it, right? Look, I'm this one. I'm going to share with you. Whenever you have, you know who I had prayed for me before, uh, we started our deal yesterday? Andreas. Because Andreas has an anointing of a pro, he has a prophetic anointing on his life. I didn't go seek out one of the deacons. And I listen, and he's, and he stumbles all the time and struggles. It doesn't, it says the gifting goes without repentance. And I'm going to entertain him based off what he, what God sees him to be. Does that make sense? So that turned him around immediately after that. Of course, it did. Because I'm, I'm speaking to the son. I'm calling out the son in him, you know what I'm saying? And so, so you have no choice but either surrender to it or not. Because that, we all have a desire. Every man in this room has a desire to walk out the calling on their life. Even if sometimes it's momentary and brief, but that light comes on, we want to walk out that calling. And in that place, there's peace. That's what it looks like.

So one of the things this week that we'll do is on Wednesday morning for the phase one guys, uh, we'll do impartation prayer. That's the last final teaching of my, my te set teachings. Is, uh, we do a foot washing. I, as I'm going to show you what a real leader looks like. And I, and I'm going to wash your feet. I'm going to pray over you. And I'm going to pray impartation into you. Now, I don't have magic Jesus hands, you know what I'm saying? But this is what the scripture says. Entertain a prophet in the name of a prophet, receive a prophet's reward. And so what I would say is, prepare yourself with eager anticipation to receive something like a kid. I'm gonna get something. God's had me do stupid stuff before. Like, he literally said, "I need you to push a gift into their chest." And I was like, "How do I do that?" He said, "Think about a gift wrapped and ready and push it into their chest." And I'm like, "I know this is going to sound crazy, but this is what God told me." He said, "I'm supposed to present you with a gift. I don't know what's in it. And then I'm supposed to push it into your chest." And I saw more guys weeping and crying that day, like receiving, than I had probably any other time I'd prayed up to that point. Because it was like they were, there was an eager sense of, uh, something, you know, something's going to happen. Something. And so that, I would hope that y'all, anytime we go to those things, you have that, that something. I want more. It's selfish as a believer not to desire more.

So today, we're talking about the Judgment Seat of Christ. I've seen a lot of believers, uh, get fall away or step away, feel lost, feel hopeless. And then there's this weight of this second judgment for believers. And, uh, and so I just want to talk about what I feel like God has shared with me on it. People may have an opinion against it, but this is just what he shared with me in my heart. And I, I believe and stand true to it. And, uh, there is nothing more powerful than the blood. And it says scripture says we'll be judged on every idle word. And so the words that come out of our mouth are the things that are going to get sifted against us. The words that come out of our mouth are going to be the weight. Listen, there's no battle between God and the devil, you know that, right? He's God. You get it? Yes, sir. Now, is there an enemy? Is that enemy constantly against you? Absolutely. What if you stand on what you say you believe, and you know, guard what you say, then all that's going to happen is it's going to grow who you are in Him. As trials happen, as tribulations happen, as I stumble, grace allows for me to be transformed. It allows me to overcome, have revelation of myself, have a revelation of my own selfish self-centeredness, and and my own insecurities, my own personal failings. All of those things. And whenever that's what the enemy will do, he will present you with a choice of you or God. And you'll have to choose who you're going to serve. That's the whole thing. And it'll grow my character so that I can be called into my eternal purpose. You get it?

In Romans 14:10, it says, "You then, why do you judge your brother or sister, or why do you treat them with contempt? For we all stand before God's judgment seat." The most important thing that I would, I would say, other than like, we're going, we're on every idle word, we allow ourselves to be judged instantaneously, is this: that as I judge you, or as I show contempt for you, all it is is bringing a place in me that I'm going to have to deal with to the surface. I'm going to judge you. It says, "Judge not, lest you be judged." By the same measure, uh, well, it says, "Judge not, lest you be judged." Given, it should be given unto you, pressed down, shaken together, overflowing in your lap. That's about judgment, right? So here, if it says, "You then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Why do you treat them with contempt? For we all stand before God's judgment seat." It says, "I'm going to project that on you, and then it's going to come back on me." And all it can do is grow my character. And so even in the times when you stumbled, if that stumbled, listen, if we serve an eternal God, and your stumble, or what you would consider a fall, or whatever it is, if you were a believer, lasted 15 years, what is that to God? He sees the finished work. Do you understand? He sees the finished work. There's nothing greater than the blood. And this is what I see most believers do. Is they'll get caught up in what they've done, and they start operating from fear, anxiety, and loss, instead of stepping into the grace. They step into the law. They step into a place where, "I probably deserve this." And then they start attempting to get back to where they were when they experienced God, when they were being a good boy, versus where they're called to be now.

2 Corinthians 5:9-11 says, "So we make it our goal to please Him." What do we do to please Him? Anybody got? Listen, what I love that he taught the power of prayer today before I taught this, because to get in His presence is the reason prayer is so powerful. If all the disciples asked to do was to learn to pray, it means every time he came away from that secret place, there was something different about him. It wasn't when he raised Lazarus from the dead, it wasn't when he fed the 5,000, it wasn't whenever he had the paralytic man stand, or even whenever he rebuked the Pharisees. It's when he got alone with God and came out from that place that there was something so drastically different that that's what they wanted from Him. You get it? You understand? So what would it be to please Him? [Music] What? As not like Him, but not so for me that I would caution you on that, because that sounds almost works-based. This is, this is why I say that. If He sent His Son to die to do what? Huh? No, the blood. The blood forgave us of our sins so that we could be what? Reconciled. So what would it, if He gave His very best, His own Son, and then His own Spirit to be reconciled, what do you think would please Him the most? What? Well, I mean, I think that's the beginning of it, but what would be the most pleasing to live in? Yeah. Some, yeah. What God? That's it. He said, "To speak face to face with God." I'll rephrase. To be in His presence. If He did all that to reconcile us back to our original created value where He was able to walk in the cool of the day with Adam, we're back in that place, no separation, the veil's been torn, right? The greatest way to please Him would be to seek Him out, to spend time with Him, to seek that cool, clean water of Bethlehem, to have that secret place that only Him and His bride have, right? Me and my wife go to dinner with people, we go to events, we go to all this. My favorite time with my wife is when we're all alone. And it can be doing anything. It can be the sidebar conversations. Whenever I, last night, whenever I started singing, "Let the bodies hit the flow, let the bodies hit the flow," you know what I'm saying? And she's like, "Shut up, shut up, God's gonna hurt us." You know what I mean? But it's those little moments, right? And those are the same. That's with my bride, you know what I mean? And so, so it's those little moments. Oh, we cut up last night. I watch, I'd watch this one lady, the legs went, and then she was, I was like, "Oh, oh, she's go, pow, she's out of there." I was like, "You're going to burn." But that's the moments He wants with us. Do you get it? What would please Him is for every day for you to cut out a little bit of time just for Him. For you to seek Him out, just one-on-one. And listen, everything else, all the other things that you want or desire in life, is going to flow from that place. To accomplish all the things that you feel like you've been set in motion to accomplish, the fatherhood, the husband, the brother, the son, the, the, the career, the whatever it is. If you maintain that, and everything flows from there, you'll have peace and joy through it all, even when it's, there's some circumstance.

It says, "Whether we are at home or in the body or away from it, for we must all appear before the judgment seat." He's talking about if we're dead or not, if we're in heaven or here. We must make it our goal to please Him. He says, "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad." Other translation says that, "So that each of us may receive the reward that is due for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad." "Since then we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade others. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience." So this is the thing. It says that we'll all appear for the judgment seat. So we've, we have salvation. We've been reconciled to the Father. It says, "To know God is to have eternal life." That's, that's what the word says. There's nowhere that it says Christ gets you to heaven. It says Christ gets you to the Father. And then once to the Father, knowing Him creates eternal life. That's what it says. Get it? And then salvation is an ev, is not a single event. It's a process that lasts a lifetime. Saved, healed, delivered, sanctified. Understand what to be in reverent awe. It means to be in absolute awe. You are God, I am not. Thank you for this breath. Thank you for what You've done. You created me. You're in control of all things. You're God, I'm Your son. There has to be a place where it's reverent awe where I don't even look. But then also, there's got to be a place that comes to live that says, "But I'm His favorite." So everybody else may not be able to look up, but I can. You know what I'm saying? I do what nobody else can because I'm His favorite. You can too because you're His favorite. What? It's a b. It's so, listen. Does everybody know what the Mariana Trench is? The deepest place in the ocean. It's the deepest place in the ocean. I think they've sent some rovers down and explored like this much of it. But literally, if you've ever been on the open oceans, it's uniquely terrifying at times. And I'm talking open ocean, couple hundred miles offshore, right? I'm not talking in the bay. I'm talking whenever waves happen and a storm happens. I'm talking like, real open water. There's something about the ocean that you will have respect for, knowing that it can kill you. And you will be grateful for the boat that you're on. That's kind of my best comparison. Thank you for Jesus, the boat. You get it? So it's a balance of that. Because you can't, you can't be in intimate relationship with something you're terrified of. So it's not terrified, but it is like, it is like, "I'm gonna sit here. I'm gonna shut up. And I, I'm gonna, I'm gonna pursue Him." But I'm listening for His instruction because I know He's God. I don't know. And that's the best. Next Monday, I'll teach on fear of the Lord, so you'll get a good, my best version of it, anyway. But seek out, seek out what it is to fear the Lord. Seek Him out and say, "God, teach me what it is to have, to know what it is to fear You." I don't want to just be madly in love with Jesus and operate in this place of salvation. I also want to have fear, reverence, and honor for God so that I become His friend. It has to be both.

It says that you can receive your reward. This is what I know about Jesus and parts of scripture. It says that you're separated from your sins as far as East is from the West. And there's no timetable in that scripture. It doesn't say your, the sins that you committed before you were saved. It says your sins are separated. You're separated from. So this is what I believe that'll be played out. Like, I believe that we'll go in front of the judgment seat. And I believe that we'll be intimately aware of all the times we failed. But He will highlight all the times we succeeded. And He'll show the impact because He's trying to build us up for eternity. I've never seen where God wants to tear us down. Less, I see where God wants to build us up for more. And so I believe this is my belief is that at that place of judgment, listen, you should have a relationship with Him where you're wanting to be that good son, where you're wanting to be of value. But it's only going to come from the secret place with God. That's where it's going to come from. And it doesn't mean that you don't love Him enough if you haven't hit that. It just means keep seeking. Keep seeking. There's nothing wrong if you haven't had it yet. Dig deeper. Read the book of John. I've told you that. I love that he highlighted the book of John. Read the book of John as many times as it takes, as many times as it takes so that you have a revelation of the goodness of God, that you have a revelation of the person of Christ.

That part that he talked about last night when he said, uh, he said, "He fell asleep three times." I've always been so wowed by that part of scripture because I can relate to Christ. I remember the day that the sheriff showed up when I opened this ministry. I'd been open a couple months, and they showed up to arrest me for some old charges. They came in five deep. And they said, "Hey, we're God-fearing men. We're going to come back. What time should we come back?" And I said, "Can y'all wait until 5:00? Can y'all come back at 5:00 this afternoon?" And they said, "Okay." And I'm telling you, there was a certain amount of anger. Listen, if anybody has ever had to walk through those doors on your own, and you don't know when you're going to get out, it sucks. I'm not talking about being on the run and getting cuffed up. I'm talking about walking in on your own, like, "Okay, see what this turns out like." But that was that day for me. And so I don't know why, but that's, I've, and I know that's probably super insignificant, but I relate it to that part of scripture. Jesus knows He was going to the cross, and He's like, "Can you not? Like, you're supposed to be my homeboy. Can you not just pray with me while I'm about to go do this?" You know what I'm saying? That's literally like that, that desperation is voice, like that man of Jesus. I relate to the man of Jesus. And so I don't see where He would hit me with a stone when I get up there for all the bad things that I've done. I, I see that I'm in a place of sanctification, that I've pursued Him, and His grace has transformed me. I can to show you the transformation over the last five years. I mean, listen, I would have said I dropped F-bombs 15 times a year ago during this teaching alone. I, every time I would have addressed you, I call them "eager," right? "Eager" is a term of endearment. It's just what it. And then God convicted, and I grew to look more. I'm not saying that that's what you have to do to look like Him. I'm just saying He convicted me, and I pursue that because I just want more intimacy. He'll convict me, and if I deny it, I go to a dry place. And so I have to seek, seek, seek. And He'll tell me what it is, and I'll reject it again because I won't, I, I can't, I don't have the capacity to accept it just yet. And He'll go to work on me for another month. And then finally, I'll go back. "What's going on, God? I just need You. I just need You." And He's like, "I've been standing here waiting on you. This is for your best interest." And so that's what I see in that movie that'll play when we're standing at the Judgment Seat of Christ. I'll see a, a process of sanctification. And every time, He'll be running it. It'll run through, and I'll see all the times I denied the conviction. He'll be like, "Do you see when you got that one right, man? Did you see when you got that one right, man? Did you see when you got that right?" And the whole time, I think I'm going to be left with that sense of, "Look at all the times I've missed it." But every time He says, "You see when you got that one right?" It'll wipe that away because it's healing me to an eternal place. He's going to heal me to a place where I can stand and serve Him in eternity. And so He has to heal all those failures. And I think that's what that second seat of judgment is going to look like. It's a place where He presents me with the crowns, righteousness, salvation, all of the ones that it talks about in scripture. And I have the ability, because I'm in such awe that He didn't keep track of all the mess-ups, to say, "Here, take these. These are yours. They were always yours." You know what I'm saying? That second judgment, listen, I'm not saying we're not going to be held accountable. But you should, if you're pursuing Him, you're already going to be convicted of that accountability. It's going to be landing for you. You're going to want to be a stand-up man of God. And if you haven't got there just yet, keep digging. It's okay. You're in that process I was just talking about. But at one point, you'll start hearing. And it'll be little at first, right? At first, might be the big stuff. No more porn, no adultery, no murder, right? No stealing. Then it'll be the, "Okay, let's check on masturbation. What about your lying? What about the gossip?" And then after you get past that, then it'll be, "Okay, language. Okay, uh, not, not repenting real quick." You see what I'm saying? And how long is that process? Or how devastating is that process? Y'all are hard-headed fools. We got hard heads, bro. If we didn't, we would not be here. So that process may be painful and intense, but it is for this end. It's for this end. Glory be to God. It's to that end. And His grace and His blood is sufficient.

1 Corinthians 4:5 says, "Therefore judge nothing." Listen, when he says nothing, what does nothing mean? Does that mean even yourself? It means not even myself. "Wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time, each will receive their praise from God." It does not say their wrath from God. It says the praise. It's very. It says, "He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness, and it will expose the motives of the heart." He's going to expose my good stuff, my bad stuff. And, and then it says, "Then he'll receive your praise from God." You get it? I'm not saying keep doing the bad stuff. I'm saying if He's not keeping track of it, you shouldn't either. You should be spending time with Him and saying, "God, show me. Show me. Show me. Show up. Show up. Show up. Reveal Yourself. Reveal Yourself. Reveal Yourself." And you should look. This is the thing. When I mess up, I need one dude in my life that I can go and say, "Hey, bro, this is what I'm struggling with." Like last week, whenever I brought up that thing, the video, and I hit it when my wife was walking down the hall, and I got really convicted. The next day at lunch, went home, and I showed it to her and I said, "Hey, I just need you to know this had popped up in my feed, and I don't know why. When you walk down, I switched off of it, but I was instantly convicted. I just need to show you what it is, and I need to ask you for to forgive me." She just made fun of me. She just made fun of me. She knows who I was. And so she literally just picked on me, and then talked trash. Because my two daughters were there, she's like, "Can y'all believe what he was looking at?" And you know, was an Asian girl. So. And I, but she knows the motive of my heart. She also knows that I watch this Brazilian family. It's like a grandpa all the way down to little kids that do these dances together. And that's why I pulled it up in my feed. And so I need somebody that I can say, "Hey, this is what's going on with me. Can you pray so that I'll be healed?" Right? It's one thing to have somebody that you confess to, but if you're not praying that you'll be healed, what's the point? Scripture says, "Confess your sins one to another, pray that you may be healed." So that we can be healed. There's going to be things where we fall short, I promise you that. I promise you that. Because we're trying to understand. I don't think it's from a bad place sometimes. Listen, sometimes we say, "Lord, forgive me," and then step into that thing. And I don't know what that looks like. I'm not that holy yet to explain how that works out. But I know that if you ask forgiveness before you did it, there's already conviction in your heart. And God will work on that place. And you just keep working at it. You keep talking to somebody. You keep talking about your struggle. You keep getting people to pray so that you may be healed. You keep fighting the good fight. And in the end, you will be free from those things. But no matter what, will receive praise from God.

Luke 6:37-38 says, "So not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Given, it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be poured out into your lap. For what? With the measure you use, it will be measured to you." And I just wonder what that looks like. If I'm measuring myself, what does it look like if the person I'm judging is me? What does it look like if the person I'm condemning is me? What if I'm the one saying, "I'll never be good enough"? What if I'm the one saying, "I'll never get back to where I was with Him"? What if I'm the one saying, "I'm not called. I'm not worthy"? Man, it sounds like a double portion. It sounds like I'm going to get a double portion of condemnation. So I've got to start loving myself like He loves me. And if I don't, I can never love anybody else. I've got to receive the love of the Father into the position I'm at right now. And then from that, that place, begin to love me. Begin to love His creation. If not, it's a slap in His face to say that I'm unworthy of it, that I'll never get it right, that I can't do anything better. It's telling Him what He created can't measure up to Your expectation. And I promise you, He gave you everything you need to do so. And it's a choice. I start speaking life. I may not have got it right yet, but I'm working on it. God, God, show me. Me, show me, me. Reveal to me this where I'm at in this. Reveal to me where I'm falling short. Show me, me, Lord God. I just want to be better. I want more peace. I want more of everything. Let me be on. I'm an addict. I want more. I want more peace, more joy, more all of it. More time with my wife. I want more class time. I want more time to drive my truck. More time to work out. I want more. And I know if I don't pursue Him in that place, and let go when I, with the miss, when I miss, when I get it wrong, I got to move past it. If not, it's that little fox. The enemy wants his best tool is you. And all he's got to do is you grab on to you to grab on to you and your own interest one time. And then you become a vessel that he's able to direct here and there until you snap out of it, right? Have y'all ever been there where you're in that? And then you get, you pop out. "Lord, I don't know where I was going." Man, it was so aware the other day whenever that whole thing happened with that video where I was like, "I see how the little seed." 'Cause some part of me has never understood how somebody jumps back into certain things. Like, I would never, a bag of dope won't trip me up right now. And I would never go look at porn. But I wonder if it just started with keeping one little thing a secret that wasn't really a secret. And I wonder if two days, it would start running through my mind until I looked for that again. It just started with a little bit of dope. What I was sharing with somebody the other day, God gave me revelations. I'm married. I love my wife. I pray for my wife. And my wife loved me. And every single time that I relapsed, it was be, it started to be looking at another one. Every time. That's the dope, bro. Listen. Don't, don't had nothing to do with drugs. The way it will manifest, the way my disease manifests is in two ways. This is as a, look, as an addict in recovery, I'm very aware of what my triggers are. And it's never dope, weed, or the bar. It's yoga pants or my temper. And listen, and even the yoga pants aren't it. It's the pressure of life. That's it. And what the easiest thing, because I'm not going to reach for a bag of dope, but if I'm driving by on Pine, running to the bank, and I roll by Goodwill, and those three ASU girls are getting out of their car to go buy some thrift goods, and I'm like, "I slow down a little bit." You know, just 'cause I don't want to speed. I don't want the cops to pull me over. And so I have to be aware. That's that's my disease of addiction. And I have to be, I have to be open and honest with myself. There is nothing in me that wants anything but my wife. I want the deepest love, intimacy with her. I want us to grow. I want us to be better friends. I want us to spend more time together. I want us to start liking more stuff together. All of that. But this thing that I'm at war with, which is my mind and my flesh, is going to try to trick me into using something to relieve the pressure of my life. And it'll start so simple and so little that you won't even recognize it unless you're trying to be aware of it. You'll coast on it because it ain't dope. You'll coast on it because it's not alcohol. It was not a big deal. But it's where I'm going. It's my escape plan because everything's so hard and so heavy. And it's idolatry, is all it is. Instead of going to Him for Him to relieve the weight and the pressure of life, I'm going to this other thing. I'm changing the way I feel. Instead of letting Him meet my loneliness, letting Him take the weight and the the load of pressure of life off my shoulders, the responsibility. And, and, and I, and if you correlate the two, I probably haven't been truly with my whole heart seeking Him out for a day or two now. I'll be doing the, I, you know, drop, read some scripture, uh, listen to a sermon, well, you know, some Christian music on the treadmill. I'm doing that. I'm talking that real, that real thing that says, "God, please, God, just come into the room for a minute so I can, I can get through all of this."

Anybody got any questions? Anybody got anything? We just got some time. I know me. God's like highlighting other people here, not for me to like, I see like what I would see as an error in them, and it stops me in my step and like makes me re-evaluate my entire life and what I've done to people. That little one little error. And it's like, it's actually something really big in me that I've been completely wrong. And in the correction that I need. And like everybody, like it's so strange where I'm like, so want to like call out people, you know? I don't mind stepping up. Yeah. And, uh, it's really heavy on sometimes. So this is what I'm going to caution you about your gift of discernment. Because a gift of discernment, you're going to be able to see and discern those things. But what the enemy will do, he'll twist it just a little bit, and he'll cause judgment. But the, the gift of discernment is, I, in my opinion, always coupled with the gift of intercession. And so you'll see those things, and it's great. It's going to, it needs to shine a flash, not on you. Because if you have the victory, you know how to intercede. And if He highlights those just moments, look, it ain't got to be some big production where you're making a list and going out the backyard and putting a sheet over your head and, you know, making a sweat. Large Malcolm, sit up, sit up, sit up, open your eye, open your eye, open your eye, open your eye. Keep it open. Open your eye. Open it. But what it could be is just real quick, "Father God, showing me what You're showing me in me, what You're showing me in them, and show me how to have victory for them." One of the things that I begin to do a lot of times is I'll start praying for everything that I want for them. God, anything I've desired, any desire of my heart, bless them with it. God, bless them with any victory I've had. Lord God, show me where I've fallen short and bless them. God, bless them. God, who else had their hand up? What you got? Open your eye. If you're talking to me yesterday on Sunday morning about, you know, yeah, speak Friday and Saturday started speaking in a picture. My little sister, she's like 30 years old. Ro her in my arms, you know? Like my yesterday. Way I see my cousin Tristan, she's running through the, she's running through the aisles of that way church. Wow. You know, so God walk here. You know, just stay stick out. Went. I'll start not listening to God, you know? Like, he's very stubborn. I'll get away from what he's speaking. The most important thing is to listen. One, I'm here and here. And I'll get away from that. I'll be honest. I put little stuff in the practice. Breaking down walls, my mind, my heart. Create he's free. Free to trust. Love others. Able to have a prayer life more and stuff. Uh, more and stuff. But, uh, I was outside. I was outside praying and stuff. Wasn't listening. So I was reminded, like, was using God, like, remind. Lord is what I'm telling you. I there. Do so much peace in hard as out and peace. I have not had that peace. I haven't had peace like this, even in the struggle. Yeah. You know, failure, pain, doing what he's doing. Thanks, Malcolm. Thank you for that. Who else? What, uh, I wanted to ask to touch on the fear of the Lord. Like, for me, it's like, I've tasted and I know the goodness of God, and I know what He's saved me from. And I've also gone back to the mom multiple times. So the way I perceive the fear of the Lord in my life is, I fear not having God in my life. And I, and I keep that, uh, reverence and that awe of Him because I know how horrible my life is without it. So that right there is like a healthy fear that keeps me in line. Yeah, that's just how I see it. I don't know if that's what's your take on that.

I think that you need a revelation of sunship because I think that may have a little bit to do with why you go back. Yeah, because he's never, he's never going to pull that, he's never going to pull back. We step this way, but he's right there with you. You, yeah. Now, when he gives you instruction, he's going to wait on you to come back to instruction, I believe that. But whenever you step away, like it says, it, uh, he loved us or what does it say? It says, uh, "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." It means like, at our worst place, our most horrific moment of sin, he bore that sin in love for us. For me, it also says, "He'll never leave you or forsake you." So when you're walking and running and you're drugging and drinking, he's right there with you. He don't leave you. Now, it may dull the voice, it may quiet the sound, and it, and but look, I know, I look back on my life now and know all the times he saved my life when I definitely wasn't pursuing him. I didn't even think he was real.

So it's like to have a revelation of really what it is to be a son, you know what I mean? Doug teaches it as, uh, be, have, do, instead of do, have, be. Right? You got to, if you can. There's a book that Leif writes. I had, I had all the staff read, uh, "Healing the Orphan Spirit," and then the second one is called "Called to Reign." And in it, he talks about the these three chairs. And one of, one part of it is you position yourself in that son chair. I'm a son. That place of sunship where he's going to do all the things that you can't do for yourself. And it's important to be in that so that it's never a fear of him abandoning me. That's the orphan spirit. Is he will abandon me if I go over here? But it's not true. Now, I'm not trying to say go do what you want, yeah, but it's just not who he is. If it was, it, it wouldn't even be real because it's too much of a human perspective.

Well, I guess I'm not, I, I have belief in my heart that he's not going to leave me, but it's me now. I, I know back and I, I'm not saying that isn't a healthy fear. Yeah, I'm just saying that may be somewhat tied to why you go back because, listen, what'll happen is I messed up. Guilt and shame overwhelms me. And then once guilt and shame overwhelms me, I keep going down that path because now I've lost what I had. Oh, well, right? Five minutes or five hours, what's the difference kind of mentality kicks in. What all of my decisions that I've ever made, fear-based? That's exactly right. Always, always. Listen, I'll pray into stuff and I will, I will always weigh, are any of my decisions I'm about to make fear-based? And I know for a fact, if it's fear-based, it's not of God. What Malcolm? And then I'm going to jump to you and then we're done. Shame those areas. De that.

So for me, the, what I do in my class is we do the list. That's the be. That's how God gave me to do it. You do the list of forgiveness and unforgiveness and, and that's how we do it here. That's why we also have counselors. That's why we also do the, the purify class. It gets to some roots of things. We do the forgiveness in second phase because it gets to some roots of things. But the truth is, like, if you receive, if you receive a prophet, name of the Prophet, receive the prophet's reward. And that goes for anybody in a position up here or up there. So they may not know they're Prophet, right? I, I'm using that term loosely. But like, if you receive that counselor as someone who can provide healing, then you might find some healing. If you receive, uh, Charlie or Mike in the position that they're at, that the, the curriculum that they have, may get you, may get some healing out of it, then you're probably going to get some healing. I would say give yourself over to giving your 100% and anything laid before you, and you're probably going to get what it is that you're looking for. So fear, you don't, you don't come to him. He wants you to come to him with anything but also fear him, but not in the sense of, uh, that you don't want to move in the wrong direction, you know?

Yeah, it's like this. It's like this. My son knows if I got a pork chop, he's got a pork chop. But he better not take my last pork chop, you know what I'm saying? So I got a pork chop for him. Listen, if he called me and it was my last pork chop, he said, Dad, I'm hungry, man. I'm starving. I'll be like, all right, I got you. You can have my pork chop. But if he goes in the fridge after my pork chop and it's my last pork chop, we're going to have a problem, you know what I'm saying? It's like, I love him and I'm gonna take care of him, but knows who it is. Simple, kind of dumbed down explanation, but one that might make a little bit of sense. Don't tell, don't mess with my pork, bro. I've kicked the boys out of the house over a pork chop. I'm not even playing. Because there were three, I got two boys that were living at the house at the time, and then me. I'm like, and we're leftover guys, right? My favorite meal is a leftover meal. So there were three pork chops in there, and I come home, they've been playing video games all day, and all three pork chops are gone. Oh, I lost it. Because I'm like, there's one for you, and one for you, and one for me. Y'all get out. Time for y'all to move out. That was the day. I don't know, like 19 and 20, way they had moved back in briefly, and they was supposed to be briefly, but briefly turned into way too damn long.

Father God, I thank you for these men. I thank you for their hearts. I thank you for their focus and them being intentional. I ask, Lord God, that you just, uh, let the seed that's been sown into their heart grow. Let it bear fruit, Lord God. Water us, Lord God. Water us, Holy Spirit. Uh, give us a drink. Give us a drink from your clean water of Bethlehem, Lord God, that we would, that we would experience you in new ways. That we'd experience you in new ways, Lord God. That we would know a new layer and a new depth of who you are and who you say we are. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.