Transcription
I date just walked out on me within 30 seconds of seeing my face. He saw me. He said, "I'm going to go to the bathroom." He also, when, mind you, when he saw me, I was like, "Fantation about my boyfriend and Nick." So, like, not the best look, like, situation-wise, but he kind of snuck up on me. He was like, "I'm going to go to the bathroom." He never >> Yeah.
No, he walked in and like everybody was together. Your date didn't walk out on you after 30 seconds after he saw your face. He walked out on you when he saw that it was actually going to be a group date. And at that point, what do you think the man is going to think? It's either one, you were planning on a quadruple sum and he's just not into that, or two, you weren't taking getting to know him very seriously, which means that you weren't really that into him.
Actually, I think there's a third reason, too. It's that it was a complete joke, like it was to make fun of him. Like he was going to walk in and you were going to laugh at him and say, "Haha, what you think I could actually be into you?" And then you're just there with your friends, which is a complete horror story.
>> I'm on a date right now and we're going over celebrity crushes and he just told me one of his celebrity crushes is Jessica Alba. I was like, "Okay, perfect. Mine is Emily Champa." And he didn't know who that was. So I'm pulling up pictures and I'm like, "Okay, I get a pass for him." He's like, "No, you don't." I'm like, "You would get a pass with Jessica." Like, what in the world? Like, I wouldn't do that.
>> Why in the world would, in what world would he be in the same room as her and have the opportunity to and not do that? Like, I would be mad.
>> Okay. A celebrity that doesn't have herpes.
>> I wouldn't do it.
>> You wouldn't do it?
>> No, I wouldn't. Raised like that.
>> Halle B is in the room and you're not doing it.
>> No. If we're married, not a chance. If we're >> What if I tell you it's okay?
>> No, it's not okay. What's funny to me is that women that have opinions like this will turn around a day from now, a week from now, years from now, and they'll be asking, "Where are all the good men?" Well, ladies, you kind of turned them off with your opinions because all that discussion revealed is that you are not committed and you are not loyal.
>> Cuz you didn't tell me you had four kids.
>> Okay. And I was supposed to tell you that. I was supposed to tell you that right then when I just met you two days ago.
>> Yeah. You were supposed to tell me that. How you, how you going to lie?
>> I never lie. I just haven't told you yet.
>> I got four kids. Okay. So, what's the problem?
>> You got four kids? That's four other mouths to feed.
>> Yeah. So, what? So, are you not capable of taking care of them?
>> Yeah, I'm capable of taking care of them, but I don't want to. It's my choice.
>> So, why did you feel like you need to uh bring me to a date? You said that you would like to have me that I am. So, if that's the case, why is it that you don't want to go date me further, further more? Now >> I do like you, like you, you cool. You fire. But you got four kids.
>> Okay.
>> Was you ever married? Was you ever married?
>> No, I was not. I got three baby daddies.
>> OKAY. DAMN. YOU GOT THREE BABY DADDY. NO. NO. NO. NO. Baby girl, I ain't got no problem. Listen. I like you. I like you. You fool.
>> Man, listen. One baby once.
>> One baby daddy.
>> It's not even cool at this point.
>> One baby daddy. What? I don't have one baby. I have three.
>> Okay. One kid. Okay, maybe you made a mistake. Two.
>> All right, you getting, you, you pushing it. Three.
>> That man is fighting for his life because you can tell that he really does like this woman. But he just keeps on getting slammed with worse and worse news. Honestly, that man is just disappointed because it is very disappointing when you meet somebody online and they're not completely open and honest about themselves having children. I don't think that's fair. And that is because it is a common, well-known deal breaker for some people, especially people that obviously don't have kids. Knowing that it's a common deal breaker for men and women, that is why that should be provided upfront before one person puts in all of the time and effort into planning and paying for a date, which is, come on, always the man. Honestly, that man, you can tell, is not even mad. He's just really disappointed. He put in the time and effort and he probably was pretty excited for this date. It seems like that she was a really cool girl. He seemed to be really into her, but you know, he has deal breakers and kudos to him for standing by that.
>> Oh, wow. You are gorgeous.
>> Oh, please. Let me just say that to all the girls you date.
>> Get out.
>> What?
>> Just get out, please.
>> I'm sorry.
>> That's rude.
>> I'm sorry. That's rude of me. Just can you please get out, please?
>> I'm not trying to be rude. Just trying to be happy.
>> Whatever. I love this because he sets the boundaries so early because this man, he probably already knows that nine times out of 10, if they start accusing you of something based in nothing, it's because they're cheating on you. And for the other one out of 10 times, they are probably deeply insecure. I don't even mean that as a judgment because people that are deeply insecure, there's reasons why they're deeply insecure. But even for those one out of 10 people, it is so important to set the boundary because there are a lot of good men that will work through things with a woman that has been through a lot. But the only way to do this in a healthy way, men, is to not let it just fly under the radar. You have to bring attention to it. You have to tell her that the accusations are not cute. They are not okay. And then the hardest step is that she has to take accountability for it and want to change.
>> I just tried going on a blind date and I was extremely humbled, extremely humbled. As soon as I walk up, this man is drinking a glass of wine. I'm like, "Oh, hi." He's like, he follows me and I've met him one other time before. So, it wasn't completely blind date, but we had never like, you know, when I sit down, he's pretty much, he's like, "I'm sorry, this is awkward, but this isn't this isn't it for me." And I'm like, "No, it's not awkward. That's fine." Like, I get it. Sometimes you can feel right off the bat. I'm just curious, what is the reason? Like, what did I, what energy did I bring that made you so quickly be like, "Oh, no." But I'm like, I get it, too. Sometimes I feel that energy and I, I respect you being like, "This isn't it." He says, "You don't look like the last time I saw you or your pictures on Instagram." I have the beauty filter on right now, but I do not FaceTime. My pictures, when I upload pictures on my stories, I put like the Paris filter on, but like, to me, like, sorry, beauty filter off, like, I don't think I look that different. Like, no, my skin is not perfect by any means, but enough to send someone away in the first 5 seconds of >> We have to talk about this because I genuinely think that it is a very good sign that this man that she went out on a date with was able to be completely honest in person. She was simply not his type. He wasn't attracted to her. She was this close to really understanding it because she was very open and honest about what he said and the fact that she does use a beauty filter on her videos. This is a very real risk that ladies are taking when they only point out they're a filtered version of themselves. But she kind of misses the mark when she starts going down the path of saying that she doesn't really look that different. That is actually what is in the eye of the beholder. You might not think that you look that different, but what I do appreciate is that she didn't bash the guy like a lot of women would. My advice, ladies, is don't always put out a filtered version of yourself. Because as long as that man has seen your true self, he's pretty clear-cut on whether or not he's attracted to you or not. And he's not going to waste his or your time.
>> I went on a date with this guy and he was like, "So, do you have any hobbies?" Wake up. Wake up, buddy. Look at me. I go and get lip filler. Hobby. I pluck my eyebrows. Hobby. I apply Haley Bieber lip gloss all day long. Hobby. Taking care of me. I go buy cute earrings. Hobby. Taking care of me.
>> This is seriously why a lot of men prefer a more natural look. Not only because they find it more attractive, but they also know the personality that often times comes along with a high-maintenance woman. And I'm not trying to bash this particular woman. Because if she likes to spend her time and energy on this, there is nothing wrong with that. But what I and many men have a problem with is when she's acting like men shouldn't expect a beautiful woman to have other aspects of herself. Because it's not true. There are so many beautiful women that have other sides to themselves. They do have interests and hobbies even though they're attractive. And I'll tell you the truth, a lot of men are looking for that type of woman. There's nothing wrong with that.
>> $20.
>> Okay.
>> But it's not a price.
>> Yeah. I just, I don't think this is like for me.
>> I'm just saying. But it's not a price.
>> Mhm.
>> But it's okay if it's not for you. It's fine. I'm over, I'm long overdue a picnic for myself.
>> By yourself alone?
>> No, this is will just be self-care. You know, sometimes >> things don't always work out.
>> True.
>> I don't think we worked out.
>> I can see that. It's okay. Just do you want the mango?
>> No, >> it's fine. I'll eat it later.
>> Okay. Now, >> did you Oh, your car is over there.
>> Yeah. Should I just go? You're not going to walk me out or anything?
>> I don't see the point. I mean, what's the point?
>> This is the thing about good men that know their value. They will be completely unbothered by a date that doesn't work out when a lady shows her true colors. True colors that that man is just not interested in. They would rather remain single. Like that man, he would rather just sit there for the rest of his date and enjoy it by himself in peace.
>> It's a massive red flag for me. So >> plastic surgery is a massive red flag for you.
>> Yeah, it is because I want to have kids one day and I want to know what they're going to look like. And if your face is full of concrete and jelly, like I don't, I don't know what they're going to look like. You, you, you understand my any cosmetic anything is not going to affect my [ __ ] jeans, right? Is that >> Yeah, I understand that because your jeans didn't create what I see, cuz you're wearing a mask.
>> I don't know what's funny. I'M BEING SERIOUS.
>> IT'S LITERALLY It's a, it's a tiny bit of Botox. Do you not understand? Like it's called a lip flip. It's not >> Why? What's wrong with the lips that were already there? I >> your business. What was WRONG WITH? LIKE I WANTED TO get it. So like this.
>> Listen, you're a gorgeous specimen.
>> And you're quite cute.
>> Thanks.
>> And I would love to continue to date, but I'm going to need to know on a scale of 1 to 10 how plastic you are.
>> What? What?
>> Yeah.
>> How >> can you give me just a number?
>> I'm not even, I can't even >> I'm not asking for details. Just a number. Box out of 10. I'm not answering that [ __ ] insane question that you No. At first, I thought this guy was being a little too harsh, but as he spoke, he has some valid points. If for whatever reason that is important to him and he sees it as a red flag, if she's unwilling to share that information, no matter how pretty she is, he's just going to know that they're not the right fit and he's going to move on.