Transcription
My Jeep Cherokee buzzed along the highway. Its passengers were immersed in their thoughts and activities. In the back, my two kids were arguing about what movie to watch on the rear entertainment screen. They knew, next to me, my wife of the last 20 years grumbled and sulked like a child. She had no idea.
My wife, Joyce, looks average. She's not pretty, but she's not ugly either. Her light brown hair gently framed her face and highlighted her blue eyes. Well, her leg, although a little plump, has always been one of my favorite features about her. I liked full legs on women. To keep everything in proportion, God saw fit to give her a relatively large ass, another trait I really appreciated, even though she spent years trying to get rid of it through exercise. She was fragile at the top. Although this is not my preference, it was not a burden to me either. Call me a fool, but I loved everything about Joyce. I was captivated by her at first sight 21 years ago, even though I was barely 20 at the time and she was only 22. I knew that this was the woman I would marry and spend the rest of my life with.
I guess it's one of two things. It's not terrible, but it's not great either. I married her, but this will be the last day we spend together. Like I said, the kids knew, but Joyce had no idea. We were heading to our favorite state park for a family picnic, one last day together before my son Brian heads off to his sophomore year of college and my daughter goes goes to Europe as an exchange student for her senior year of high school. Only God knows what our plans will be for next year. I was supposedly leaving on business on the first flight in the morning, but in reality, I was just leaving.
In the back seat, the kids seemed to have chosen the movie and settled down as we hit the highway for the nearly 2-hour drive to the park. Picnics in this park were always Joyce's favorite pastime. She loved getting us all together, away from our busy home, and just spending time together in a more relaxed and natural environment. In recent years, I thought she loved the park even more because I never took my beloved Mustang there. Firstly, because I didn't want to expose the low suspension of the car to dirty roads and possible corrosion, and secondly, because the back seat of the car was too small for any of our children. Joyce has been jealous of the car since the day we bought it. At first, she considered him my third child, then she started complaining that he was more like my second wife. I often told her that I needed another wife because, with all her affairs and charity events, she was rarely at home.
I looked at her face across the front seat. She actually stopped worrying and seemed more relaxed once we got outside the city limits. I reached for the stereo and turned on the radio. A Fleetwood Mac song was playing. At first, I couldn't tell what song it was, but I immediately recognized the characteristic rhythm. Mick Fleetwood's frantic, all-encompassing drumming style paired wonderfully with John McVie's beefy bass.
Many years ago, I played guitar in several heavy metal bands. Before I picked up the guitar, my parents made me play classical piano. They believed that I needed discipline and structure in my life. Music has become an important part of my life that has helped me over the years. Even now, I couldn't start my morning run without my iPod. The music I listen to often influenced both my mood and my decision-making on everyday issues, but the music also seemed to reflect what I was feeling. In this case, the song was almost prophetic: "Little Lies." While not one of my favorites, it was horribly appropriate for the situation.
Joyce decided to change the station just as Christine McVie started singing, "If I could turn the page, in time I'd turn over in just a day or two." "She sang, 'No, leave it,' I told Joyce. 'Close my, close my, close my eyes.'" Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham sang on backing vocals. "But I couldn't find a way, so I'll take one day to believe in you," Christine sang again, reflecting exactly our situation. "Tell me, tell me, tell me lies," came out of the speakers so richly, they might as well sit in the Jeep and sing to us.
In the rearview mirror, my daughter's eyes met mine. I could tell the meaning and meaning of the song was not lost on her as she returned to her film. And Joyce looked out the window, window at the landscape. I thought about what the words of the song meant to me, to us. I have always loved Joyce with all my heart. She was never a stunning beauty, even when we met. I was drawn to her personality and optimistic attitude as much as anything else. Our shared experiences brought us so close that I thought there was no one else on Earth that I would consider being with. Until 2 weeks ago, when I found out Joyce was cheating on me.
When Christine sang about rebuilding a day or two, I completely agreed with her. If I could turn this page back in time, the two days I would change would be the day Joyce met Matt Blake and possibly the first time she slept with him. But like the song, I couldn't find a way, so I gave Joyce one day, one last day with the family she claims to love, another day with the husband she betrays. I give her one idyllic final picture of perfection, a fun family picnic at her favorite place, before circumstances destroy everything we've built together over these 20 years, and I move on with my life.
She reached out and took mine as I drove. "I love you, Bill," she said, smiling. "Sometimes I lose sight of it, but never doubt it for a moment." Behind me, my daughter snorted disdainfully. I wasn't sure if it was a reaction to something in the movie she was watching or something her mother said. I thought, "Oh my God, these are sweet little lies."
"I guess it's because you're all always so busy with school and work and other activities. I'm stuck at home and I feel like I have no life. That's why my groups and charities are so important to me," Joyce said. "Jesus, Mom, why don't you just get a dog?" my daughter asked from behind. I didn't even think about it. I kept thinking about how Stevie Nicks' voice could still send shivers down my spine after all this time. Stevie was still attractive, too, and she had to be at least 50.
"You understand, don't you, Bill?" asked Joyce. "Sometimes you see a situation and realize you just can't sit and watch. Something needs to be done to stop this." "Oh, he understands this a lot more than you think," my daughter Jessica said. "No arguing today, Jess," I said. "No unhappiness, no enmity. Let's just spend today together as a family and let all the misfortunes not touch it. Tomorrow, we will all go to other things." Joyce nodded and smiled. My eyes met Jessica in the mirror, and she bit her lip and said, "Okay."
Joyce squeezed my hand again and rested her head on my shoulder. She reached out to kiss me, and at that moment, I turned my head to read the sign we had just passed. It was done very smoothly, and I don't think Joyce realized that I was deliberately avoiding her kiss. A series of giggles and giggles in the back seat let me know my daughter hadn't missed it. I had to work on my acting skills for the rest of the day. I had to pretend to be the obedient and loving husband I had always been. If I hadn't been able to pull this off, my last gift to Joyce would have been ruined.
As we ate from a distance, I wondered why she did this. Did she just stop loving me, or did she just never treat me the way I treated her? Maybe, like she said, we all had things to do that took up our time, and she didn't. But it was her decision. It was she who decided, decided that the rat race was not for her. She wanted to be a housewife and stay-at-home mom. Joyce chose the house we bought, the cars we drove, and the schools our children attended. She was the one who decided when we would go on vacation and where we would go. Everything we did had her stamp on it. If she was ever sad or bored, she might say something.
I also wondered what more could Matt Blake offer her than our marriage. Was it because he was younger? Although you couldn't tell from from his receding hairline that he was younger than us, and damn, he was 35. I was 40. He wasn't much younger. I was not an Olympic-level athlete, but I kept myself in pretty good shape. Matt was kind of doughy, so maybe it wasn't the looks.
I was just lucky that after I suspected her and received confirmation from investigators, I took a DNA test. My children really are my children. Although most people could tell that by looking at them. Brian is just like me when when I was his age. He's already met the girl he thinks he'll grow old with, Maggie Chu. She is a very petite Asian girl he met at school. I wonder if he trusts her as much as he did before.
We all sat down and talked about his mother. Brian is not as good an actor as Jessica and I. He loves his mother very much but is very angry with her. So far, he can't even bring himself to talk to her. On the other hand, Jessica is so angry at her mother that she is dying to sort things out with her. Jessica is my biggest concern today. Although she promised not to do anything to give us away, I have my doubts that she will be able to last the entire picnic without causing a scandal. The scary thing is that Jessica is leaving only after I leave tomorrow. I have a feeling it will be interesting. After I leave, Jessica has no respect for her mother. She has already told me that when she returns from Paris next spring semester, she wants to stay with me. I let her know that she would always be welcome, but she would only be 17, so the judge would likely make that decision during the divorce. Divorce, even this word hurts. It's funny how a few letters placed in a certain order can bring your world crashing down and hurt you deeper and longer than any physical blow.
When we pulled into the park, I stopped at a booth and paid the entrance fee. "Maybe we should buy those license plates that will allow us to enter the park without paying," Joyce said. "With the kids away, I didn't think we'd be coming here much," I replied. "This is one of our favorite places," Joyce said. "Wek come here whenever we can, just like we always have, just the two of us," I said skeptically. Of course, she smiled. "I can't think of anyone I'd rather come here with." Even as the words fell from her lying lips, I could hear Stevie Nicks' beautiful, deep, sexy voice singing, "Tell me a lie."
Within minutes, we were all busy unloading food, blankets, and other things we would need for the day. "Jess, don't put the blanket too close to the grill," I shouted. "Okay, Daddy," she replied cheerfully. "I only brought it closer to Mom because she was cold." "No, honey, I didn't say that," Joyce said. "You're probably remembering the other time we were here." By this point, Jessica was next to me, and I was the only one who heard what she said. "I was rather getting used to the weather in hell," Jessica said quietly.
I turned and looked at her. For the first time, I began to understand what family breakdown was doing to my children. I knew I was devastated, but the children were suffering too. Brian could talk to Maggie about it and lean on her emotionally. On the other hand, Joyce's actions also put a strain on their relationship. He began to trust her less and became much more suspicious of her trips and visits. Here's Jessica, my little angel, obviously suffered from anger issues. I needed to contact the director of her program and arrange for her to see a therapist and maintain a much closer connection with her as soon as possible. I needed to move from the apartment I was planning to rent into a house.
"Dad, are you ready to go to the lake and see which of us can throw the stone the furthest?" Brian asked. It was a family tradition. He won every year until he was 16, and I stopped letting him win. In recent years, he has been getting closer and closer to my shots. Who knows, maybe this year he will actually overtake me. "God knows my heart wasn't in it. Later, champ," I said. "Let's fire up the grill first and put some food on it." He smiled and nodded, then took out his always-present phone and tried to call Maggie. "Dad, there's no connection here," he said angrily. I just laughed. "Letun run to the lake!" Jessica shouted, running off before her brother even realized they were racing.
This left me alone for the moment I had been dreading since the beginning of the day. Joyce spread out a blanket on the grass and beckoned me to sit next to her. "I need to fire up the grill, honey," I said, "but leave me a place next to you. I've been waiting for this all morning." I said, "Oh man, my acting skills were improving." Joyce wasn't the only one who could tell sweet little lies.
What happened next, although extremely childish, became one of my my greatest performances. Joyce blew me a kiss. I caught it with my left hand and, while spinning, when I came out of the spin, I raised my right hand as if I had caught it there and gently touched it to my face. Imperceptibly, I threw the hand that actually caught the imaginary kiss towards the ground, as if throwing away the kiss, then stepped on it. Joyce did not notice the deception and smiled. "I wonder what you do with a real kiss," she smiled. "We'll find out later," I said. "God, those little lies were becoming contagious."
"I'm going to go out and find some wild flowers," she smiled. "Make something to eat when I get back, and if you see Jess, send her to me. She loves picking flowers too." I nodded as she started to walk away, then she turned around at the last moment. "Bill, I'm really glad you insisted that I come today. There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now. We need to spend more time together. We're all so busy doing things that aren't really as important as spending time together. We may have started to take each other for granted because we've always been together and we know we always will be, but from now on, I want us to try to do things together like we used to." She then left with a smile, looking for her flowers. It was the sweetest little lie I've ever heard.
As a tear rolled down my cheek, I remembered how much I loved her. I couldn't help but think that if I hadn't forced her to come today, she would probably already be with Matt. I took out the charcoal and placed it in one of the built-in grills that the park provided. I doused the coals generously with lighter fluid because everyone knows those self-igniting things just don't work. The repetitive nature of tasks that I had done literally hundreds of times allowed my thoughts to fly away again. I still remember how I cried after watching the DVD the detectives gave me. I watched it alone in my home office while Joyce was at one of her charity meetings. It showed that bastard Matt coming to our house to see Joyce a few days before, when neither the kids nor I were home. "Looks like charity starts at home," Joyce smiled, looking around to make sure no one was looking, and almost dragged him inside.
The scene then pans as they are picked up by one of the cameras installed in my living room. They were sitting on my couch drinking coffee, but I could feel the tension between them even watching through the video. They talked about a lot of trivial and mundane things, which made me wonder why this idiot would put up with this. Finally, it was Joyce whose hormones made things move. Another reason why forgiveness was impossible. She asked him directly if he thought her legs were too fat. She told him that her husband loves her legs, but she thinks they are old and fat. He told her that he couldn't judge by what he saw, so naturally, Joyce took this as her cue to lift her skirt higher. "The parts I see look good," Matt said, his voice full of lust, "but it's hard to make a conclusion based on incomplete information." "I guess you want to see the whole thing," Joyce said, smiling back. I could tell by the look on her face what she was going to do next. I recognized this expression as the one she showed when she was truly ready. Joyce lifted her skirt all the way up. "Oh God," Matt said. "Come and get it," Joyce said. She leaned back on the sofa. Within seconds, Matt had shed his clothes and was on top of her.
If I was expecting something supernatural, I was disappointed because of the angle of the cameras, I couldn't see how big Matt was, but their movements weren't lustful. It looked awkward and funny, like two people both blessed with two left feet trying to dance. They couldn't find a rhythm, and their moans and size seemed comical. I wonder if, consumed by passion, they realized how ridiculous they looked from the outside. I wonder if Matt realized that his actions would cost him. I'm sure he had no idea what a hell his life would become. For 24 hours, and my beloved Joyce, I really hoped that she would be happy in her new life. I decided to be a complete gentleman about all this. I was going to be modern about it all, no primitive tactics here. In the end, the better man won, as it should be. I just made sure that my children would be provided for and stepped aside. My lawyers will give Joyce my divorce and settlement proposal. There will be no negotiations. She either took what I offered or got nothing. In any case, I actually offered her very little, but if we went down the root of divorce, her name would be smeared through the mud in a very malicious way. I will scorch the earth, and her reputation in our city will be destroyed. It won't affect the kids or me because Brian will be going back to school across the country, and Jessica will be in Paris. By the time the mudslinging was over, Joyce was no longer accepted into any of her committees, charities, or anywhere else in the city. She would have to step away to get some rest. The easiest thing for her would be to accept my terms and move on with her life, while I accepted her choices and moved on with my life.
That day, as I sat in my den watching two lovebirds engaged in an awkward act of coitus, I was so focused on the screen that I didn't notice my daughter come up behind me until it was too late. She wiped my tears and said, "Now you know." I just looked at her and nodded my head. "I wanted to tell you, Daddy, but I couldn't find a way to do it without hurting you." "How long have you known about this?" I asked. "From the very beginning," Jess said. "They had been flirting for months, but it only lasted about 2 weeks, as far as I can tell. They only did this twice. I heard Mom tell her friend Susan that she was going to put an end to this, so at least this will end soon." "It's too late," I said. "From the moment it all started, things would never be the same again." "Dad, can't you forgive her?" Jessica asked. "Sorry, Angel," I said. "I'm just not one to forgive." "Okay," she smiled, "because I'm not going to forgive her either." "Jessica, we must do this very calmly and with dignity. So, while I don't know what to do, please don't tell anyone and try not to treat your mother differently."
"A penny for your thoughts?" Joyce asked behind me. I was so busy thinking that I didn't hear her come up behind me. "Maybe you should not light this yet," she said, noticing how much lighter fluid I had poured into the coals. Luckily, I took my second bag with me. I quickly scooped the saturated coals out of the pit and returned them to the first bag. I tossed it into the lake several times before throwing it away to make sure it didn't accidentally start a fire. I placed the second bag of charcoal on the grill, barely coated them with liquid, and then lit them with the lighter I purchased. "At the same time, come and sit on the blanket with me while we wait for the fire to go out," Joyce smiled. I sat down next to her, and she took her hand in mine.
"Bill, I had a thought on the way here," she said. "I know we've never talked about this before, but we're about to start a new chapter in our lives together. We've had a wonderful life so far, and I'm looking forward to the next phase of it, but I'm not sure it's over yet." I looked at her as if I really didn't understand her point. In reality, I just wanted to get as far away from her as possible. I probably shouldn't have thought about how I felt watching her have sex with Matt in that video. When I looked at her, I wanted to vomit.
"Okay, honey, I can see you're confused," she said. "Being here with the people I love the most has made me look at things a little differently, and actually, what Jess said got me thinking. Our children had grown up and left the nest, so I felt somehow old, unattractive, and useless. I guess I wanted to charge my life again." I was shocked. I could not believe it. This was going to admit that she was having an affair. I've never heard of this happening before. What about my plans now? What about my revenge? Damn, that just ruined everything. So I joined all these stupid committees thinking it would make me feel better, even though it just drove us further apart. Whether we like it or not, we all got further apart over the past few weeks." "Hm," I said, as if I was really thinking about her words.
"Let's get to the part where you start having sex with the bald 35-year-old old supermarket janitor who still lives in his mother's basement," I thought. "Do you realize it's been 2 weeks since we've had sex?" she asked, looking at me, waiting for my reaction. "Of course," I thought. "Why the hell would I even touch you after seeing you with Matt?" "No, honey, I didn't notice," I said, addressing my own bag of little lies. "Well, I know you've been waiting for the moment when we can run around the house naked," she said. "It was the last thing on my mind, believe me. You always tell me how you burn all my clothes, and I will always be naked so you can have sex with me whenever you want," she smiled. "But I guess some of that will have to wait. All this will have to wait until hell freezes over," I thought. "We're not old enough to actually retire yet, Bill," she smiled. "I love you and I want us to have another child."
Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. I was choking and coughing. Joyce started patting me on the back to helped me release whatever had gone down the wrong throat. All sorts of thoughts were running through my head. Perhaps she was already pregnant with Matt's child and wanted to marry him to me. I scrapped the idea because it was too early to know. Maybe she wanted to get Matt pregnant and then pass the baby off as mine. Maybe it was guilt, and she was trying to spice up our sex life, which she had unknowingly ruined. I did not know. I did not care. All I wanted was to give her this last day together and then be free. Surprisingly, Christine McVie saved me again. I remembered the song and found the answer. The second verse of the song says, "Even though I don't make plans, I hope you understand." "There's a reason why," Joyce. "Let's not make plans just yet. I hope you understand there's a reason. I just don't want to plan anything right now," I said, echoing the song's sentiments. "Oh, you want me all to yourself for a while," she smiled. "That's so selfish. Have you been thinking dirty thoughts about what we'll do when the kids leave the house?" I simply nodded my head and smiled. "As the song says, we'd rather break up. Let's try." Joyce seems to have brought out the worst in me lately. She placed my hand over her heart and then pulled it to her chest. As if on cue, Jessica appeared.
"Are we going to grill anything on this grill or not?" she asked. "Dad, should my stomach suffer from your hormones all day?" I nodded to her in gratitude for her help and headed towards the grill. I put hot dogs, hamburger patties, some steaks, and a couple of chicken breasts on the large grill. I also added a couple of pieces of salmon wrapped in aluminum foil. "Okay, maybe I understand why you want it to be just the two of us for a while," Joyce said, creeping up on me again. "Dad, the lake is waiting," Brian called. I shrugged and followed him, with Jessica following behind us.
As the official judge, Brian threw his first stone, almost to the edge of a log that some kids had dragged and secured in the middle of the lake. It was a good throw, and he smiled at it. "Beat it, Dad," he smiled. I picked up the rock, and for some reason, I was still thinking about Matt's balding top and pale face. When I threw the stone, I imagined punching him right between the bastard's eyes. "Wow, Dad!" Brian shouted. "Where did that come from? Your rock went over a log. You threw it over half the lake!" Both he and Jessica looked at me in shock. "Letun go eat," I said, trying to find some enthusiasm. "We probably shouldn't leave your mom alone for too long." "That's right, we might catch her having sex with the forester," Jessica said mockingly. I was alarmed, but Brian just laughed.
When we returned to camp, it turned out that only hot dogs were ready, so we ate them. After lunch, Brian decided that he was so full that he just wanted to take a nap in the Jeep. Joyce wanted to show Jessica where all the wild flowers grew. Jessica asked me to go for a walk instead. Joyce had never been a big fan of hiking, so she set out to pick her flowers. During our walk, I tried to explain to Jess that what was happening between Joyce and me had nothing to do with her. I told her that we will both always be her parents and we both love her. I also tried to explain exp to her that her mother would need her support in the coming days because it would probably be difficult for her when she realized that I was gone. "Why should I help the woman who destroyed our family?" Jessica asked honestly. I didn't have an answer, so I just said, "Because she's your mother, and you love her." "Dad, men don't notice anything," Jess said. "If there's something wrong on their faces, they never notice anything except work, football, or cars, but girls and women notice. We pick up on very subtle clues that men miss. Probably half the girls I know notice it too." "It's awkward." I stopped and just looked at her. "I love you, Daddy," she said. "In the spring, when I come home from school, and during the Christmas holidays, I will come and stay with you."
The rest of the day passed quickly. We made a lot of family games. We played catch with a frisbee, we looked at the clouds to see what shape they were, we ate a lot, and even went with Joyce to see her favorite wild flowers. When we tired after hunting for flowers, returned to the camp for dinner. "My son almost accidentally ruined everything himself. It's hard to believe we'll never do this again," Brian said. "Of course, we will," Joyce said, as Brian, Jess, and I stared at her in shock. "But what I meant was..." Brian began trying to correct his statement. "I know what you meant, honey," Joyce said. "Maybe next time you can take Maggie with you, and maybe after this, Jessica will bring someone too. Then maybe you and Maggie will bring my first grandchild, but we will always come here. This is a family tradition. The family will just get bigger, that's all," she said, nudging me with her elbow. "So maybe that will make it even better." Brian smiled and nodded. I could tell he was relieved that he hadn't let the cat out of the bag.
Joyce leaned in to kiss me and didn't notice the angry look Jessica gave her older brother. I've forgotten how many times I kissed Joyce over the years we were together, but there was something special about this kiss. It was as if some sadness in Brian's words made her try to put more into it than ever, as if she thought that somehow our entire relationship depended on that one kiss. "Have you considered my proposal?" she asked. The look in her eyes was so hopeful that I almost forgot how angry I was at her. They say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. The moment I looked into Joyce's eyes, I saw love in them. For a split second, I thought about having sex with Joyce one last time. Who knows, maybe her wish came true, but then I realized that if she gets pregnant, I will never be able to leave my child. Besides, I hated the thought of her raising one of my damn kids in Matt's mother's basement.
When we loaded the Jeep, it began to get dark. We we all yawned as we headed home. The return journey would take even longer, as we had to drop Brian off at the airport. He returned to college on the Redeye flight to spend one more day with Maggie before classes started. Maggie went back to school this afternoon, and I don't think she knew he was coming. I think Brian wanted to show up at their apartment in the middle of the night to visit her, to see if she was there at all, and if she was there, to see if she was alone. Damn Joyce for ruining our children's lives with her deception. She damaged countless lives due to her insecurities and boredom. None of us will ever be the same. The entire family was broken and damaged. I really hope Matt was worth it.
"Can you drive, sweetie?" she asked. "I'm fine," I said. "I have a lot to think about." "Oh," she said. "Have we come to a decision?" I was actually thinking about other things, but I decided one more sweet lie wouldn't hurt. I wanted to make her as happy as possible on our last day together. The whole purpose of the day was to give us both a glimpse into how perfect our lives should have been, to take one last snapshot of a love that lasted most of our adult lives. As the song says, "I couldn't find a way, so I'll settle for one day to believe in you." It seemed fitting that the final way to make her happy was to let her think she was getting what she wanted. "I'm trying to figure out names," I whispered. The look on her face was priceless. It was love, adoration, and passion rolled into one. It was the same look she always gave me until 2 weeks ago, when she started cheating on me with Matt. From then on, all I saw in her face was guilt and questions. "Are we going to start tonight, baby?" she whispered back. "We'd probably better wait until I get back from my trip the day after tomorrow," I said. "We don't want Jessica to hear us, and that would be unpleasant."
As we drove home and stopped at the airport, I was confused. Joyce really seemed to be back to herself. Even the way she constantly held my hand told me that no matter what happened, she still loved me. Perhaps, as she hinted, it was simply because she was bored and lonely and had lost track of what was important. Was this just a forgivable mistake in a solid marriage that I was blowing out of proportion due to ego and self-doubt? I really needed to examine my feelings about this. Men, at least most of us, don't deal with our feelings. Women do. Men react instinctively, and then we analyze the situation and follow logic. My gut instinct was to gut Joyce like a fish, and Matt along with her. Analysis tells me that if Joyce did it once and got away with it, then at some point later, she will try to do it again. So, both my instinct and logic told me it was time to move on. Despite what my heart was saying, I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life at the mercy of her hormones. Life is too short not to have a good time.
At the airport, Joyce and Jess slept while I let Brian out. I slipped him some money, even though we had already given him a debit card so he could use it to pay for expenses and other things. I hugged him again. "Dad, don't forget, as soon as you find out which office you're going to transfer to, email me. Jess and I are both going to Hawaii. Oh, I'll bring Maggie for Christmas. We're probably going to her parents' house for Thanksgiving. This should give you time to get the new place presentable," he said. "But let me know. Thanksgiving on the beach sounds cool, Brian. What if your mom and I are still together?" I asked. He looked at me skeptically. "Then it's probably going to be a pretty sad Christmas, with you checking under the tree to see if her boyfriend gave her presents or if she invited him, checking the number of seats at the table, and the worst thing is constantly checking the chimney to make sure that she's not trying to seduce Santa Claus." "I love you, Dad. Just do what you need to do. We'll support you no matter what you decide." He stroked Jessica's head and kissed her lightly. "Don't tell her I did it," he smiled, then he walked towards the terminal, no longer just my son, but a man in his own right.
I got back into the car and headed home. Joyce sleepily searched for my hand, while Jessica snored lightly in the back seat. Even in her sleep, Joyce instinctively searched for me. "Love you, Billy," she said. This only added to my confusion. A woman tells me she loves me even when she sleeps. Can this be falsified? And one more thing, the behavior she exhibited when she was with Matt was nothing like the behavior she exhibited when she was with me. Maybe she was faking it with him, or was she pretending to be with me for almost 20 years? Am I really going to throw away 20 years of our lives because she slept with some pathetic loser twice? I also began to doubt my plan. It seemed pretty cowardly to just leave without telling her why I was leaving her. When a dog makes a mistake, you should at least hit him with a newspaper so he knows not to on the floor. Didn't Joyce, after 20 years, deserve to know why I was ending our marriage? Didn't she deserve a chance to respond? I think it was my mature side coming out. The best way to do this is to make some coffee, invite Matt over, and the three of us will sit down and discuss it like rational adults. What the hell was I thinking? I cheated on me. She didn't deserve anything.
"Wake me up when we get to the airport so I can say goodbye to Brian," she muttered. "Um, we left the airport 20 minutes ago," I said. "Wek be home in another 15 minutes." Joyce's eyes widened. "Is Brian gone?" she asked. I nodded. "But he didn't even say goodbye to me," she said. "I could tell she was hurt." "He kissed me goodbye," Jessica said, deliberately twisting the knife in the wound. "It's hard to pretend to sleep when your monkey brother is licking you." "I guess it's their way of showing their love." "Go back to bed, Jess," I said. Her smile in the rearview mirror told me that she had already achieved what she wanted. "He knew you were tired, honey," I turned to Joyce. "He wanted to let you sleep. He knows you'll have to work even harder on your committees since you took the day off to be with us." "I must be with you," she said. "No committees, no charity events, no projects, except the one we're going to work on together." Was this just another little lie, or was she telling the truth? I couldn't tell the difference anymore.
I pulled into our driveway and carried Jessica into her room. "Love you, Daddy," she murmured. "Forever and ever." "I love you too, little angel," I said, as I started to walk away. "Don't forget to call me when my plane lands so I can find out how she reacted," she said. Suddenly, her eyes were completely open and she was alert. "And Dad, I'll live with you in our state. Children over the age of 13 have the right to choose which parent they want to live with. I'm 17, so choose Hawaii because I look great in a bikini. Claudia and I get along great." I wondered why she mentioned Claudia. "Jess, if you weren't asleep, why did I have to carry you up the stairs?" I asked. "Because today is the last time we'll do some things," she said quietly. "I remember when I was little and how safe I always felt when you carried me in your arms up those steps and put me to bed. Neither you nor I can ever be in this house again after tonight, so I wanted to feel it again." I simply nodded. "Maybe it will be in another house, or maybe one day you will see me carrying my granddaughter up the stairs in your house," I said. "Yes, that would be great, Dad. You can do it by explaining to her why she doesn't have a grandmother," she said bitterly. "Who knows," I said, "maybe we can still fix this." "No, Dad," she said solemnly. "You can't. You're not that person, and if you were, you wouldn't be the dad I love and respect. It's time for you to start over with someone who really loves you. Maybe someone is already waiting for you."
I returned to the car where Joyce was still sitting, snoring. I opened the door and lifted her from the seat. Her arms reflexively wrapped around my neck, and I carried her to our room. I laid her on the bed and began to undress her. I covered her with the blanket and kissed her one last time as the day came to an end. "Love you, Billy," she said, as I lay down next to her. Is it true or a sweet little lie? Somehow, it didn't matter anymore. "Love you too, Joyce," I replied, as The last tear I would ever shed for her rolled down my cheek. I was lying in the bed we had shared since the beginning of our marriage. Somehow, it was symbolic that I was here, contemplating its end, almost as if I was closing a circle. All sorts of questions ran through my mind as I tried to sleep. Was I thinking clearly? Should we try to fix our relationship? Do I love her enough to try? Did she sleep in that bed with Matt? The last question made me angry. Did she really choose this idiot over me, or was he simply there in her moment of weakness? I worked my hardest all my life to give her everything she wanted, and this is how she repaid me.
Somehow, during the night, I fell asleep. My sleep was restless. I had dreams about Joyce and Matt living in my house with my kids, while I was stuck in his mother's basement. I showered and dressed Before Sunrise and packed my suitcase with all my toiletries and personal items. I silently walked down the hallway and hugged my daughter goodbye. "I love you, Dad," she said, forcing herself to wake up. "The adventure begins," she smiled. "See you in a couple of months, or maybe sooner. Say hi to Claudia for me. Jessica will head to the airport herself in about 3 hours, then Joyce will be alone for the first time in her life. I hoped that after all was said and done, Matt would make her happy. The surprises I arranged for them would be ideal tests of their love," I thought, grinning.
I got into my Mustang and took one last look at the house. As I started the powerful engine, part of me was sad. The end of my marriage meant a a kind of failure. On the other hand, I was looking forward to what life would bring in the future. On the way to the airport, I called the office. I expected to leave a message from my former assistant, Claudia, but I couldn't reach her voicemail. I dialed the central office number. Surprisingly, I didn't receive a voicemail either. Instead, I heard a living human voice. "Ellen Magnuson, our telephone operator and receptionist, answered." Although I was shocked that she was in the office at 6:00 a.m., "I'm here every morning at this time," she said. "Ellen, I need to leave a message for Claudia Denton," I said. "Claudia no longer works in this office," Ellen replied. "She left yesterday." "Where did she transfer to?" I asked. "I don't have that information," Ellen said. I was surprised by this. Claudia has been almost like a second wife to me for the past 10 years. I hired her straight out of college, and she was the perfect assistant. I was really sorry that I had treated her so badly. I was probably too caught up in my breakup with Joyce to realize it. I'll give myself a few days to find out where she got a job, and then I'll contact her." Having decided this, I headed to the Transport company with which I signed a contract. I, of course, chose the Honolulu office as my new location. Jessica had nothing to do with this choice, but I was glad that my daughter would be happy with my decision.
I drove my Mustang to the offices of a Transport company near the airport. They were supposed to transport the car to the coast and send it by ferry to the island to me. The car was supposed to arrive about a day after me. I took a shuttle from the Transport company office to the airport. I checked in and sat in the terminal waiting for my flight. About 15 minutes later, a woman sat down next to me. I didn't look up from my magazine to look at her, but she smelled great. Her perfume was very pleasant, but at the same time familiar. Her legs were slender but well-defined. They weren't thick and sexy like Joyce's, but I assumed most men on the planet would prefer them. I kept looking up from my legs and saw a nice small waist and larger breasts than Joyce, albeit on a smaller body, making them appear even larger. "It's not polite to stare at a stranger's breasts," she said. "Besides, aren't you married?" "I was," I answered, "but now I'm open to new opportunities." "Should you really be at work, Claudia?" I smiled. "You're the best assistant anyone could ever have." "I know," she smiled, "but now I'm open to other possibilities." "Claudia, you shouldn't have left the company just because of me," I began. "I didn't leave the company," she said. "I'm just transferring to where you work." "How did you know when I was leaving and where I was going?" I asked. "First of all, I handled all your affairs, remember?" she smiled. "And secondly, Jessica told me what was going on. She thinks we could be a good couple and didn't want you to go through this alone." I looked at her suspiciously, but she just smiled. "Bill, I've wanted to be more than just your assistant for a long time," she said. "Don't I deserve a chance too? I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm not even asking you to commit to me. Can we just take it one day at a time?" I just smiled and extended my hand.
Joyce woke up after the phone rang for the fourth time. Voicemail started after the third ring. Someone calling so early in the morning really wanted to talk to someone. She couldn't understand why Bill didn't answer the phone. He should have gotten up already. He needed to go to the airport. She had a wonderful dream about all the things she was going to do to Bill when he got home. She couldn't believe that she had managed to hide her relationship with Matt. She had everything: a husband who could provide for her and support her in the style to which she was accustomed, and the young man who adored her at the same time. Life was too good. "Hello," she said sharply into the phone. "Joyce, it's me, Matt. I can't come today, maybe never," he mumbled into the phone. Damn, he sounded like he was drunk. Why the hell is he drunk so early in the morning? "To hell with it," she decided to end things with.
Matt yesterday, one way or another, she had no future with him. She loved Bill with all her heart. Yesterday's picnic made her realize this. Now that they were going to have another child, she no longer needed the distraction this man provided. It was always just some kind of going through a midlife crisis. Maybe she'll have another one sometime in the future. As long as she was careful, Bill would never know.
"I love you, Joyce," he said. It sounded like he was crying.
"Are you crying, Matt?" she asked. Great, she thought. That's what I missed. This idiot is trying to make it hard for me to break up with him. It's really annoying. Some people are too stupid to know when it's over. They ruin everything and then think that they can hold on to you forever and everything will continue because they want it to. He needs to get his head out of his ass and move on.
"It's over, Joyce. I feel so bad," he whined.
"What hurts, Matt?" she asked, out of pure politeness. "Are you sick? Are you injured?" Joyce was glad that her husband was not such a pathetic weakling as this one. What did she ever see in Matt? He wasn't handsome, he wasn't in good shape, he wasn't smart or successful. He had no career goals, and he was still living with his mother. Damn it. Plus, he was terrible in bed. She only chose him because she knew no one would ever suspect her of doing anything with him, and he was not a threat to Bill in any way. She always thought she could teach him how to satisfy her sexually, but before things really began, she realized that she loved her husband too much to cheat on him. Her plan for yesterday was to spend the day teaching him how to make love to her the way she needed it, just like her husband did.
"Joyce, we have a problem," he muttered. "I love you so much, but I can't stand it. It's not worth it. My mother will kill me."
"Matt," Joyce said calmly, although she was disgusted that a man over 35 was still afraid of his mother. "You know love was never part of our equation. You and I only have sex."
"Joyce, stop lying!" Matt shouted. "I know you feel it too when we are together, but it's not worth it."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Joyce asked, getting impatient.
"This morning I went to work on the morning shift at the supermarket. I figured I could get $10 more by helping them unload trucks," Matt said. "I wanted those $10 to buy you a gift to show you how much I love you, Joyce. But when I got to the store, they sent me to the manager's office," Matt said, sobbing. "He told me that they have a policy against employees fraternizing with clients, especially married clients, and that they had to fire me to prevent a lawsuit. I lost my job, Joyce. I worked there since high school, and they fired me just like that," he started sobbing again. "As I got on my bike to ride home, I started to wonder if anyone had found out about us and was trying to cause trouble for us. I had just passed the alley behind the store and was starting to trade very quick quickly when out of nowhere a huge teenager came out of the alley and hit me so hard that I fell off my bike. When I got up, he was gone, and so was my bike. I went home, but before I had gone far, two hefty guys attacked me. They beat me very badly. The whole time they were beating me, they kept telling me that I should have been smarter than to have fun with a married woman. I woke up in the hospital, and my mom was here. She told me to call you and tell you to stay away from me, Joyce. But I will always love you."
The phone clicked, and Joyce heard nothing but a dial tone. She didn't know whether to laugh out of relief or cry because she felt so bad about what happened to poor Matt. She was sure that Matt's mother was behind all this. It was probably the female version of tough love. She found out that Joyce was married and decided to dissuade her son. It was a kind of adult version of punishing a child. Instead of getting him to quit the baseball team, she got him fired from the supermarket. Instead of taking his bike, she stole it. And since he was too old for her to spank, she hired some thugs to kick his ass. Perhaps it was for the best because she was in love with the only man who really mattered to her. There was no place for Matt in her life anyway.
She decided to go and prepare breakfast. Maybe she'll take Jessica to the airport herself. Jess wanted to prove that she was an adult by taking a taxi, but they needed time to bond. At the picnic the day before, Joyce had felt a little tension between herself and her daughter and wanted to resolve it. Until recently, they were a friendly family, but now something seemed to separate them. At least things were going better with Bill. Yesterday was a beautiful day. She did her best to remind him that she loved him with all her heart. After a couple of weeks of flirting with the older teenager, she was sure that he believed in her again.
When Joyce got to the kitchen, she noticed a large envelope on the kitchen table. Just as she started to open it, she heard a car horn outside the house. She looked out the window and saw a taxi waiting. Joyce opened the envelope when she heard footsteps from above. Jessica walked down the stairs as Joyce read the note in the envelope. "Press play on your DVD player, then read page two," was all it said. Joyce pressed play and then watched in horror as her latest affair with Matt played out on the big TV screen in the living room.
"Jess, walk past Joyce and said goodbye, Mom. I hope you enjoyed your last day with Dad. Yesterday, he wanted this to be a wonderful memory for you, but you will never see him or me again."
Joyce looked again at the note from the envelope. At first, she thought Matt's mother had sent the envelope, but as she read further, her worst fears were realized. "Goodbye, Joyce. I hope Matt was worth your husband, your marriage, and your family. I loved you with all my heart and was devastated when I learned of your betrayal. In a few minutes, a man will come with divorce papers for you."
Joyce screamed loudly as she read this part and then continued reading. "The settlement agreement must be signed as soon as you receive it. If you sign it, we will have an uncontested divorce citing irreconcilable differences. My lawyer will contact you to discuss custody of Jess within 6 months before she turns 18. You will receive 25% of all our assets, including the house that I have put up for sale. You only have 30 days to find a place to live. I sincerely hope that Matt can make room for you in the basement. If you don't, if you don't sign, I will destroy you. Your reputation in our city will be dragged into the mud so much that you will no longer be able to live here. The money is generous considering we had a wonderful life and you ruined it for reasons that still baffle me. I have no desire to ever see you, hear from you, or talk to you, so I guess I'll never know why you did it, and honestly, it doesn't matter to me at all. Yesterday meant a lot to me, and I was very upset. I thought long and hard about whether we could pull this off. I think in my mind, I can probably forget sex. I also never stopped loving you, Joyce, to this day, but I can never forget what you did to us. Joyce, and I can never trust you again. I couldn't live the rest of our lives wondering every time you said you had a meeting or went shopping if you were seeing someone else. You've done this to me many times, haven't you? Jo, of course, you didn't have sex with him until recently, but you still looked me in the eyes, kissed me on the cheek, and lied. In the end, Joyce, it was not a lack of love or my inability to forgive you that doomed us, but a lie. All these sweet little lies."
Joyce died inside after reading the letter. She never expected or wanted anything like this. The only reason she even started an affair was boredom. All her life, she wanted to be a wife and mother. When she met Bill in college, her dreams came true. The problem was that as she grew older, she felt like life had passed her by. The last few years have been especially difficult. Her children are almost grown. In fact, Brian was already an adult, and Jessica was so close to it that it didn't matter. They didn't need her anymore. Bill had his career, and although he made choices that limited his travel for work so he could spend more time with his family, he was away from home every weekday when he was at work. He even had that Claudia to take care of him. This woman was so efficient that Joyce never needed to help Bill with anything even remotely work-related. After the first couple of years that Claudia worked for Bill, Joyce became so jealous of the woman that she stopped inviting her to any parties or social events, and the fact that she was younger and prettier didn't help. One of the things that annoyed Joyce the most was when at one of the company dinners, someone asked if Bill and Claudia were married. "They look great together," someone said, and "They work well together and get along great," someone else added. Joyce began to wonder if her husband was having an affair with Claudia. The way the woman looked at Bill, Joyce was sure that given the opportunity, she would have rushed to him. Joyce hired a private investigator to find out what was going on. After 3 months and an absurd amount of money for services, including 24-hour surveillance of Bill and Claudia, the agency concluded that the relationship between Bill and Claudia was only friendly and collegial. There was absolutely nothing between them. Joyce didn't know whether to be happy or angry. She spent most of the money her father left her when he died to find out that her husband was faithful to her. What bothered Joyce most about this was that she always knew that Bill would never cheat on her. He loved her and their children too much to put their family in danger, but sometimes she wondered why he loved her so much. Joyce was a smart woman, most of the time, and she knew that she was not what men dreamed of. Her breasts were average to small at best compared to the rest of her body. She had a pretty big ass, and her legs were so thick that she had to have her boots custom-made. But Bill seemed to love those traits about her. He always whispered in her ear how he wanted her to wrap those thick legs around his waist and squeeze him while he made love to her. There was almost never a moment when he didn't pursue her. This continued until the last 2 weeks. Suddenly, Joyce realized that she had not hidden anything. Bill guessed about her connection almost from the very beginning, and she was too stupid to understand it. She didn't know what to do.
She heard the car door slam behind her. She looked outside and saw that the taxi driver had just closed the trunk after loading her daughter's suitcases. If anyone knew where Bill had gone and how to contact him, it was Jessica. Jessica and her father have always been close. Bill loved his son, but he idolized his daughter, and the feeling was mutual. Perhaps that's why Jessica has been so harsh towards Joyce lately. The girl obviously knew that Joyce had betrayed her father, and her coldness and sarcastic comments were her way of letting Joyce know this.
"Jessica, wait!" Joyce shouted at her daughter, who was just getting into a taxi. Jessica turned and looked at her mother and then simply raised one finger, the middle one on her right hand. Then she got into the taxi and closed the door. The taxi driver began to drive away, and Joyce chased the taxi down the street in her robe. She stepped on a sharp stone and cut her leg. She limped back to her house. She had almost reached her entrance when she heard a shrill whistle from one of the houses on the street. The gloomy old man who lived opposite them whistled at her and waved his hand. She was too upset to be embarrassed, so she ignored him. She limped towards her front door and found it locked behind her. She was locked outside, almost naked. She wanted to cry. Her whole world was crumbling around her. She couldn't call Bill to come home and open for her; he was on a business trip. Suddenly, she wondered if there was even a business trip. Perhaps he just left her. Perhaps he didn't leave town at all; he just left his cheating wife. She also couldn't call any of her children. Brian flew back to university last night. Now this too has become clear. Brian took the time to say goodbye to his sister at the airport, although she was asleep at the time, but he didn't even bother to do the same for his mother. Her son probably knew what she did and was angry. Angry and feeling defeated, she decided to call the locksmith service from one of her neighbors' houses. At least she wouldn't have to climb back over the fence. On the other side of the house, there was a gate that could only be opened from inside the courtyard. Joyce walked back to the front of the house and looked around, trying to decide which neighbor she could approach. The old man was still sitting on his curb.
"I need your help," Joyce said, closing her robe. "Can I use your phone? I'd appreciate it, and considering you've already had your cheap fun looking at my body parts, I think you owe me that."
The old man got up and headed towards his house. Joyce followed him. She was still looking around cautiously, trying to figure out who might be watching her.
"The phone is there," said the old man. Joyce found the phone book under the table where the phone was. She took it and opened it. The old man closed the book. Joyce looked at him in surprise.
"What?" she began.
"Let me ask you a question," he said. Joyce nodded. "What's the opposite of good?" he asked.
"It's bad," Joyce said.
"No," answered the old man. "The opposite of good is better. I had a good life, and like so many others, I messed it up trying to make it better." He said he handed Joyce the key.
"What is this?" she asked.
"This is the key to your house. Your husband gave it to me so I could water your plants and pick up your mail when you went on vacation."
"Thank you," Joyce said.
Joyce quickly walked back across the street and opened the door to her house. As soon as she walked in, she called Bill's cell phone. It went straight to voicemail. She wanted to leave him a message, but didn't know what to say. She knew she wouldn't have many chances to tell him how sorry she was. She decided to leave a message later after she thought about what to say. If she agreed to Bill's proposal, she would be temporarily okay. Their house was valued at more than $300,000. 25% of that would be $75,000, so she'd be fine for a while, but that wouldn't be enough to live on forever. She would have to find a job and a new place to live. Essentially, the money was chicken feed. Just moving into a similar house would cost her entire share for the first couple of years. Within a year or two, all her savings would be exhausted. Joyce never worked. What could she do? Her whole life is going upside down because of nothing. She needed to find a way to get Bill to forgive her. She just had to.
She heard the doorbell and stood up to answer.
"Joyce Williams?" asked a young woman with a briefcase.
"Yes," Joyce replied, wondering what the girl was for.
"Sale," the girl said.
"What?" said Joyce. "No, it's too early. I'm not ready yet. I don't know what I want to do. It had to be a man. I need to return these papers with your signature," said the girl, looking bored.
Joyce thought about everything she had done. She also thought about all the people she had hurt with her thoughtless act. If Bill had dragged her name through the mud, she would have hurt even more people. She did the only thing she could. She signed the papers. She closed the door behind the girl and sat down at her desk, crying at the top of her voice.
2 days and 4,563 miles later, Claudia emerged from the bathroom of their hotel. She walked over to the table and rubbed Bill's shoulder, who was crying over what that stupid woman had thrown away. "Everything will be better, dear," she said. "It'll just take time," she said this to console him, but she knew that in reality, most people can move on in their lives but never completely forget about their first marriage. They never forget about the other parent of their children. There are too many ties that cannot be broken. In time, she and Bill would have a wonderful life and perhaps children of their own, but he would always remember Joyce. So telling him things would get better was probably a lie, but it was just a little lie.
December 24th. Joyce trudges through the snow along his old street. The people she once considered her neighbors and friends don't wave to her. Her next-door neighbors, who were her and Bill's best friends, ignore her passage and continue to put up their Christmas decorations. Joyce is no longer the woman she was. A friendship that took years to build was destroyed in just a few weeks. Bill kept his word and didn't tell anyone about her actions, but Matt's mother told everyone she knew about a woman in her 40s who seduced her son. The story spread like wildfire, and Joyce became an outcast. The only people who sought her company were lustful, unattractive men looking for a quickie. Joyce knocked on the door of her only remaining friend. The formerly lonely, bitter old man opened the door and invited her inside.
"Trouble loves company, E Joyce," he asked. "I thought you were going to invite your kids to spend the holidays with you."
"I hoped they would," she replied, her voice full of bitterness and suppressed anger. In a short 3 months, Joyce became barely recognizable as the woman who cheated on Bill. "My son Brian is an adult. He can do whatever he wants. Once he and his fiance decided to spend the holidays with his dad in Hawaii and get away from all the snow and ice. He said he loves the idea of spending Christmas on the beach. He now has the whole ocean to himself to throw stones at him with his father and Jessica hurt me the most during our divorce. The court ruled that we should alternate holidays between the years. This means that this year I celebrated Thanksgiving, and Bill celebrated Christmas. She also asked to spend part of the holidays with her brother and Maggie, so she'll be spending New Year's with Brian and Maggie."
"So what's wrong with that?" Dan asked.
"That's the thing," Joyce said. "This girl doesn't care about me at all. She was here because the court ordered her to spend Thanksgiving with me. The school gave her a week off. She arrived Wednesday night and went to bed as soon as she arrived, so we didn't talk much. She woke up late Thursday morning and said she needed to go back to bed due to jet lag. She had Thanksgiving dinner with me and took a taxi back to the airport. She's studying in France."
"Joyce, you're lucky she even cares enough to come home," Dan said.
"That's the point," Joyce said. "This girl doesn't care about me at all. She was here because the court ordered her to spend Thanksgiving with me. The school gave her a week off. She didn't fly back to Paris; she flew to Hawaii and spent the rest of the week there. She had it was 10 days before Christmas. Her classes start on January 3rd. She had already been here for 2 days and didn't even try to call me. The only way I found out where she was and what she was doing was when I called Brian and talked to Maggie. Brian didn't want to tell me what was going on, but apparently, he forgot to tell Maggie not to tell me. I was really hurt when she said it was the first time they were all together since Thanksgiving. They all waited and celebrated Thanksgiving on Friday when Jess arrived after leaving me. They even DVR all the stupid football games and watched them together. I tried, but they don't include me in anything. I even tried to invite Bill to Thanksgiving dinner. I imagined him sitting in some lonely bachelor pad reminiscing about the good times we all had together over the holidays. Instead, Maggie told me how good Claudia looked in a bikini. They celebrated their turkey on the deck behind the house Bill bought for them to live together. It looks like Claudia, in addition to being built like a model, is also an excellent cook. I must be clairvoyant. I always knew that wanted Bill, so I had the detectives keep an eye on them, but they never met and would never have met if I hadn't just given it to her. I sent Bill a Christmas present just to let him know that I'm still here and still thinking about him. It was returned unopened. It had a big, nasty green sticker on it. It said, 'Parcels from this address are not accepted.' I called Bill on his cell phone. He should have given me a number so we could discuss matters regarding Jessica since we have shared custody. I don't know why they call it shared custody. She chose where to live. She decided to live with him. He waived child support with me because I don't work, which at first I thought was a nice gesture on his part, but he actually did it so he wouldn't have to talk to me about it. Everything he does is aimed at never speaking to me again. The only thing I have is Jessica's court-ordered visits. When she's here, we don't talk. We don't do anything. She simply goes up to her room, falls asleep, and wakes up just in time to go to the airport. Anyway, I called Bill's cell phone, and it rang about eight times before it was picked up. Naturally, it was Claudia. I was sure Bill was there and just handed the phone to her. I could hear Christmas music in the background and people talking. They looked like they were having a great time. I asked Claudia if if she was still working for Bill as an assistant. She said she would never work for anyone else. I asked her what else she does for him, and she simply said, 'Whatever he wants.' I almost cried. I decided to be noble. I asked her if they received the gift I sent to Bill. She said it must have gotten lost in the mail. It seems like she told me a little lie so as not to hurt my feelings. I realized I was on speakerphone then because I asked her if I could talk to Jessica. I heard Jessica whisper, 'No.' Since they all heard me anyway, I swallowed my pride and asked her if I could fly out to them for Christmas and bring their gifts. She didn't even answer. She just said, 'Oh, wait, there's Jessica.' My daughter answered the phone. I told her I hadn't heard from her in almost a month. She hadn't called or texted me since Thanksgiving. She said she was really busy with school and stuff. I asked her what she wanted for Christmas. She said, 'Nothing.' Would you believe it? I must be the only teenager on the planet who doesn't want anything. She told me that all she wants from me is to continue to be the best mom I can. Then she twisted the knife. She told me that her dad and stepmom would do the rest."
Bill has not yet married Claudia. They live together, but she is already more of a mother to my daughter than Jessica allows me to be. Even my mom blames me. She was always against what I did. She told me that I must have been crazy. "At that point, maybe it was a midlife crisis. My hormones were out of whack, temporary insanity. Bill loves you," she said. "Give him time." But time is running out, and my husband continues his life without me. Now my mother blames me because she doesn't see her grandchildren. Then Claudia did the worst thing imaginable. She arranged for my mom to fly to Hawaii for Christmas. Since Bill's parents were there for Thanksgiving, so when Maggie said the whole family would be together, she meant it. Deep down in my heart, I am sure that my husband still loves me. That's why he hasn't married Claudia yet and doesn't plan to do so yet. He's still trying to forget me, isn't he? Imagine he has a young woman who is more beautiful than me, better built than me, but he still tries to forget me. He must have loved me very much, as he always said. How the hell could I get bored with such love? Now I sit here on my gradually expanding ass, becoming thicker and bitter every day, but in my heart, I know everyone knows that it's only a matter of time until Bill forgets me and marries Claudia. Bill told me he could forgive sex, but not cheating. I've lost my perfect life because of a few small deceptions. 55 subscribe to our channel so that your second chaff doesn't cheat on you and go ahead and listen to the next story because this story is nothing compared to the next one. If you're under 18, don't even think about listening to the next one.