Transcription
Believe women. Yes, absolutely. And this phrase came from validating women who speak out against abuse, right?
And if you know anything about abuse, you would know that these same women who finally come out and say, "Hey, I have been in this bad relationship," or "Something really bad happened years ago," they usually spend years internalizing their trauma and justifying their abuser's behavior. Like, "Well, he didn't mean to," or "He apologized, he's usually a good guy." And they spend years lying to to others, saying, "It's fine, you know, the situation's not as bad as it looks." Because in an abusive relationship, there's often an unseen layer of emotional and sometimes spiritual abuse that keeps the victim committed to the relationship.
So here are some examples of emotional and spiritual abuse. And also, keep in mind that these women who gave positive testimony of polygamy were married in the temple, were they covenanted to keep the law of their husbands. I'm not just talking about the change that happened a couple of weeks ago where it used to be women commit to obey their husband as their husband obeys the Lord. No, originally it was women just obey the law of their husband. So unfortunately, it is so possible that many of these testimonies were given under coercion or manipulation by their husbands or church leaders to do so, because otherwise it meant damnation.
So are we supposed to just believe women who say they're fine, or do we believe women who later come out and say, "Yes, I was in a horrible situation," or "I am in a horrible situation and I want to get out"? Because that's the whole reason for the "believe women" catchphrase. Because they go years lying to everyone and their loved ones, hiding their own abuse, just to try to keep the peace until finally they decide to speak up.
So here are a few testimonies of women who once gave positive testimonies of polygamy, then years later expressed their true feelings of the anguish, pain, and torture of polygamy. And if you're interested in more stories like this, the 132 Problems podcast, that's linked in my bio, has three episodes on the testimonies of women that uncover some truly nightmarish stories of early Utah polygamy.