Transcription
In the next 30 minutes, I'm going to show you how to eliminate self-sabotage forever. The truth is, the only person standing between you and your desired reality is you.
How many times have you really, really, really wanted something and you were so sure on it, you set the goal and yet you found yourself procrastinating? You found yourself just stabbing yourself in your own back doing all of this pointless stuff, feeding into all of these distractions that are so contrary to what you know you want. That is self-sabotage. The amount of things that you're blocking yourself from because you're caught up in self-sabotage is insane. So, to put it simply, self-sabotage is when you unconsciously get in your own way with taking actions that do not align with your desired reality. And the frustrating thing about self-sabotage is you can know consciously that what you're doing is not aligned, but you can't figure out why you're acting like this. Why can't you just align with the things that you want to align with?
So, in this video, I'm going to be breaking down why self-sabotage happens. And then we're going to go through three very practical steps for you to figure out why you're sabotaging right now on what you say you want and how to actually overcome it so that you can actually align all of you, even the unconscious parts of you, with your desired reality and you can move towards it with ease.
You might be thinking that I got really good at art. By the way, this was not me. So, shout out MX for the art because I could not draw like this. You're gonna see my own stick fingers in a minute and you're gonna realize that my art artistic capabilities are not at this level. So, look at the difference. Wow. I couldn't even pretend to pass those stick figures off as my own. It just I wouldn't lie to you guys about that anyway. Okay.
Why? Why do we self-sabotage? You've probably asked yourself this. Why am I like this? Why can't I just stick to the plan? Why can't I just align with the things that I know I want? Why? Why? Why?
Okay, first of all, you've got to realize that external reality is just a mirror of your internal reality, of your state of consciousness, of your frequency. And when I say external reality, I'm also referring to your physical actions. Okay? So external reality is interchangeable with the physical world. And part of the physical world is your physical actions that you take. All of that is driven by your internal reality. By your internal reality, I mean your identity, your beliefs, your thoughts, your emotions, and your attention, your focus, what you're focusing on. So, every single action that you take, it's just a mirror of the overall state of consciousness that you have. Self- sabotage in the physical world shows you a misalignment in your thoughts, your beliefs, your focus, or your emotions, in your internal world. Because reality is a mirror. Self-sabotage is just a symptom of an internal misalignment with your desired reality. That is all.
Think about it for a second. If you had 100% conviction, if you were fully on board in your thoughts, in your beliefs, in your emotions, in your focus, in your identity with your desired reality, would you sabotage? No. Because you would have alignment. You would have conviction. And when you don't have conviction, you won't be committed. The end end of. So the reason you lack conviction in your desired reality is because you are misaligned on some level internally. When you can solve for the misalignment, the self-sabotage, which is a mirror of your internal state will fall away.
If you think about even just for a minute, if you knew with 100% certainty that you could have your desired reality, like if you were absolutely certain that you could have it, that you deserved it, that you were the version of you right now who could handle it and have it and it could be natural and easy and better than your current situation and it was completely safe, would you sabotage yourself? No. Because there would be no misalignment. So solving for self-sabotage is actually very simple. You identify the misalignment, you bring it into alignment, and the sabotage will stop.
This is my attempt at the stick figure that you saw a minute ago. Okay. The reason it's so difficult though to figure out what the misalignment even is is because the act of sabotaging yourself is a tactic used by your ego so that you don't expose a vulnerable ego trait. So self- sabotage is a method basically that the ego uses to stop you from even identifying what it is that's out of alignment because it's an ego-based trait that is preventing you from actually aligning with your desired reality. And the ego will always fight to protect every aspect of the self.
So, I give you an example of this that I lived and you can go back and watch like some of my first YouTube videos if you want to actually see me going through this. But when I started YouTube, I posted maybe one maybe two videos and then I entered a really intense period of self-sabotage. And honestly, that was actually a few months, I think, of me just sabotaging myself and not understanding why I couldn't sort my energy out to actually go for the things that I wanted to do, which was making content. And I it got so bad. I was falling back into old habits. I was not creating at all. I was not posting at all. And I kept kind of questioning, why was this happening? Why was this happening? Any time that I thought about posting a video, I just felt really uncomfortable. I felt a lot of fear. I felt a lot of emotional discomfort. And so, I was just avoiding it. I was avoiding it. I was procrastinating. I was doing everything but I was planning. I was doing everything but actually recording and posting content because even thinking about posting was causing me emotional discomfort. I ran away from it. That's what self-sabotage is. It's distracting yourself with this behavior, with this pattern, so you don't have to actually look at any potential discomfort or something that's going to be emotionally triggering for you. So that's what I did for weeks and weeks on end.
Eventually, I accepted, okay, I'm having this discomfort. I'm having this resistance. What is it? As soon as I accepted it, I was able to go into it and actually figure out that it was coming from an aspect of my ego. My ego part of it was posting for validation when I first started posting on YouTube and my first couple of videos got like a 100, 200, 300 views. So the reason the actual misalignment that I had was an ego trait of mine that wanted basically my next video to get a million views so that I would be validated, so that I would feel special, so that I could have that reassurance that, you know, I was special and I was going to be successful and whatever else. So, there was an insecure part of my ego that was causing me to self-sabotage and not post. And when I stopped resisting the uncomfortable emotions that were driving me to sabotage and driving me to be so distracted from what I actually wanted, I was able to figure out what it was that actually was making me feel so bad about posting. It was this insecurity of my ego self. And then I was able to go in and say, "Okay, what does that part of me need to hear to let this go?" So I reframed content. I didn't make it about validation. I didn't make it about worth. I I redefined my value and my worth as separate from the outcomes, as separate from my achievements on YouTube or anything else. And then I was able to start defining creation as something different that had nothing to do with my value. And then this whole block went away and I was able to actually start posting. I was able to accept that maybe I wasn't that good yet. Maybe I didn't deserve a million views yet. And that actually allowed me to get good at making content. Okay? And now I watch my old content back and I'm like, of course, I wasn't getting a million views, but my ego was so wrapped up in that at the time that I couldn't see it.
It can be very humbling, but it's very necessary. If you want to actually grow and shed the parts of you that don't align with what you want, you need to have awareness and you need to have honesty and you need to step outside the ego and allow yourself to actually face why you're sabotaging in the first place. I always say growing and progressing towards what you want can be really exposing. It takes courage and it takes honesty. And it takes strength to really go up against the ego and say, "No, I'm going to look at this and I'm going to overcome it."
So once you face what you're avoiding through sabotaging, whether it be a difficult emotion, a fear, a belief, an insecurity, once you actually face it, you can release it. And once you release it, your identity will shift. And once your identity will shift, the mirror will reflect that back to you in your reality. And your actions will change and your outcomes will change. and you will be in your desired reality. So, it's easier in the moment sometimes to say, "I just got distracted. I just have this bad habit." Than to actually face the fears and the doubts and the insecurities. But until you face them, you're going to stay stuck under the spell of sabotage, and you're never going to be able to break out of it.
Okay. So, now I'm going to walk you through the three steps to overcoming and eliminating self-sabotage forever. You are going to need a pen and a piece of paper because you're going to want to follow along with me and actually do these steps with me. And this is going to illuminate to you even if you think you're not sabotaging right now. You might find out through going through these questions that you actually are. But if you know you're self-sabotaging, this is going to help you figure out why as well. and we're going to get to the root of it and we're going to eliminate the sabotage completely from your life so you can actually align once and for all with what you actually want.
So step one to eliminating self-sabotage is awareness. You need to become aware of what your misalignment is. Remember, self- sabotage is just showing you that there's a part of you that you have an identity trait, a belief, an emotion, uh a feeling, a perspective that is misaligned with your desired reality, and that's causing you to act in a way that is misaligned with your desired reality. So, I want you to bring to mind the thing that you're saying you want, the outcome that you want. Okay? And I want you to first answer, how do you feel when you think about your desired reality? How do you feel? There could be positive emotions. There could be negative emotions. Just write down how do you actually feel when you think about it. Is there some anxiety? Is there some worry? Is there some resistance? That's really important. Lean into it and write it down. If you keep running from those feelings, you're never going to figure them out. If negative emotions came up, ask yourself why they're there. If you're feeling fear, ask why. Why is it scary? What am I scared of? Dig deeper. Keep asking why. Keep asking why until you get to the belief that's driving the negative emotion. Okay. So, another question you can ask yourself, just park that for now. We're going to come back to it. The next question is, do you believe you can have your desired reality? Do you actually believe that this is possible for you? On a on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being absolutely 100% conviction, one being no, how much do you believe that you can have your desired reality? This is a really, really great question for awareness. What's bad about your desired reality? Next one. What responsibility are you secretly afraid of that comes with success? with you achieving your desired reality. Some other questions, what excuse are you holding on to that's stopping you from stepping into your desired reality? There are so many questions like this you could ask. We did a whole live call on this in my community. If you want to join the community and join the live calls to do these together, you can find the link below. But these are just some really key questions that are going to give you insight to what your actual misalignment is because very quickly you're going to see if you've got negative feelings towards your desired reality. You're going to figure out where those negative feelings are coming from. You're going to figure out whether you're lacking conviction in you being able to actually have your desired reality. You'll figure out any negative associations that you have with achieving your desired reality as well as any kind of fears around extra responsibility, success, anything like that. So, I don't think we realize how much unconscious fear of success a lot of us have. I know people kind of throw that term around, but until you gain the actual awareness, you're just going to be sabotaging, taking random actions, and not knowing why. This is showing you why.
So step two and three are based off the answers that you typically would see in doing this awareness type questioning with yourself. And I'm going to give some example answers to this so I can demonstrate with examples so it's easier to understand. So let's say okay you feel maybe some negative emotions towards your desired reality and you ask yourself why. Maybe you believe that it's going to be stressful. Maybe you believe that you won't be able to handle it. Right? So in that instance, you've identified the core part of you that actually resists this thing and that is misaligned. And then you can get to work on shifting your belief from I won't be able to handle it to I will be able to handle it. It gets to be easy for me. I'm going to actually really enjoy it. Let's say in question two you answered, "Sometimes I believe I can have it, but my belief waivers, but I don't see evidence in my physical reality." Okay. Well, then you need to focus on how can you increase your conviction without seeing physical evidence. Because remember, if you don't have conviction in it, you're not going to stay committed to it and you are going to sabotage. So, you would have to work on okay, how can you increase your belief? How can you increase your conviction? How can you get evidence that you can have this thing and really buy into that and get conviction in it? So instead of focusing on the reasons that it won't work, you want to start focusing on the reasons that it will work. And that will very quickly align your energy with actually having this thing. What's bad about your desired reality? Something that could come up here is I'll be more visible. People will be criticizing me. People will judge me. And so that's pointing to an ego insecurity that you will be judged for your flaws, an ego insecurity about your own flaws. And so the antidote to that is to accept your flaws and to just be fully okay with all the parts of you. And then that fear will fall away.
So you can see through answering these questions, whatever answer you give, it's going to be linked to one of these things. either a negative or limiting belief about yourself, as in I'm too flawed or I'm not good enough or I don't know how, I'm not capable. A negative or limiting belief about your desired reality such as it's going to be too stressful, it's going to be difficult, it's going to be hard, I'm going to be judged, etc. Or it could simply be linked to the fact that you don't trust yourself to step into the unknown. Okay. So, I wanted to give those examples first because the first step is awareness. And then you know whether you simply need to rewire a belief about yourself or about your desired reality or whether you just simply need to increase your trust with yourself because that's going to soothe any misalignment that's causing the self-sabotage pattern in the first place.
So if you went through that process and a misalignment that you found is you you're telling a negative story about your desired reality, you've got a negative association with your desired reality, then you want to rewrite the negative belief that you have about your desired reality because you are the one writing the script and you get to choose. So, if you're telling a story of stress, of burden, of struggle about your desired reality, then you're going to resist it. You're not going to want to go there on some level, and you're going to sabotage your progress to getting there. So, you want to switch any story that you have, any perception that you have that this level that you're going to is going to be bad in any way, and you want to completely flip the script on that story. So if you have associations of your desired reality of I'm going to be burnt out, then you want to start alchemizing that perception and gather evidence in your mind on okay, how can I picture my desired reality not burnt out but I'm in flow, right? Rather than I'm burnt out, I'm in flow. How can I picture my desired reality and shift it from being difficult and hard to actually it being easy? So every single association you have, you want to go to what the opposite of that is and gather evidence for that and gather conviction, emotional conviction for that end of the spectrum. Okay, that is you basically alchemizing the same energy to the opposite pole. And that's how you start shifting a negative association of your desire to a positive association. Okay? So, you play the movie in your head of, okay, it's not going to be I'm not going to be burnt out. It's not going to be hard. I'm not going to be stressed. That says stressed. I'm going to be in flow. It's going to be easy. And I'm going to be relaxed. And here's all the ways how and why that's going to be possible for me. And buy into that reality with your emotions, knowing that that's the way that the universe works. If you believe in this version of events, then that's what will unfold for you. But if you believe in this version of events, then that's what will unfold for you and you are the one who gets to write this. So alchemize the way that you're focusing on this to the perspective that you prefer and your resistance towards your desired reality will drop off and your self-sabotage will stop because you're actually going to want to go there.
I want to just say as well, we all have this kind of false perception of the next level in business, in whatever you're doing as being more stressful, as being more of a burden, as being more work. And that's just a false perception that a lot of us have picked up from people around us. And it's not actually true unless you say it's true, unless you choose it. For you, it gets to be easy. You get to be relaxed if that's what you decide.
So you want to do the same thing with any self-limiting beliefs that you have. Any story that you're telling about yourself and why you can't have the thing that you want, you can rewrite that and you can change that. So it actually supports you having the thing that you want. And if you continue to run this old story that's basically just been programmed into you by your past and your environment, then you're actually choosing to misalign yourself. Okay? And well, you're not changing, you're choosing. Essentially, you're going to keep running an old program that doesn't serve you, and you're never actually going to fully be able to align with what you want. So again, the way that you overcome this is you identify you have a limiting belief about yourself that's stopping you from aligning with your desired reality. For example, when I started when I before I started making YouTube content, I had a limiting belief of, oh, that's not something I can do, right? Who do I think I am? I'm not suitable. I don't have the right personality. I don't have the right knowledge to make YouTube content. So, I noticed I had this self-limiting belief. So, you want to identify at first. By the way, I have a whole video on how to rewire your limiting beliefs and I have a whole module on this in my community as well with stepbystep examples, follow along tutorials if you want to go and check that out as well. But this is the process that I use. So you first identify okay I have this limiting belief. What is what actually is it? Okay, it's I believe that I am not good enough basically to make YouTube content. You want to understand where this is coming from. So okay, you want to figure out like the backstory. What is the evidence that you're having for this belief? Why are you even saying this in the first place? Then you want to release it. You want to basically say to this part of you, I understand this is a story from the past, but the past is no longer the present, and I'm choosing to let this go. And then the most important step is you want to overwrite that old belief with a new, more empowering belief. So just like we did here, you want to gather evidence for how the opposite can be true. So in my example, how can it be true that I am perfectly good enough to make YouTube content? How can it be true that I am, you know, the exact right person who should be making content? And I actually went out and I got evidence of loads of YouTubers who, you know, they just started out of nowhere and just started making content without any qualifications or any of this other stuff that I was coming up with. And they ended up very successful and making amazing content. So, I got a bank of reasons why and a bank of evidence to support my new more empowering belief and I bought into that with my emotions to the point that it overrode my old belief and then that was my new belief, right? It rewired. So again, I'm not going to go into belief rewiring in in a full thing in this video, but just know that you can it's very simple actually to rewire belief. You simply find something more supportive of your desire that you can believe in and you buy into that with your emotions and that will replace your old belief.
The final step to eliminating self-sabotage forever is to develop self trust. When you trust yourself to have, be, do anything, to walk into the unknown and to be okay, you will not sabotage yourself from doing that anymore. Like I've mentioned a few times already, if you do not have conviction in your ability to actually align with what you want, you won't stay committed to it and you will fall off and you will sabotage because why would you keep going in something when you're not actually when you don't have conviction in it, right? And so how can you have conviction in your ability to align with your desired reality to manifest what you want when you don't even trust yourself to do the small stuff to keep your word to yourself? You won't. So having conviction in yourself is a very very necessary first step to having conviction in your ability to actually have your desired reality and to be able to materialize that. When you're lacking self-rust, when you can't even show up for the small commitments that you make to yourself in your day-to-day life, your perception is basically going to be tainted with insecurity. And it's going to directly inhibit your ability to believe in your power to uh materialize your desired reality. You will lose conviction in your ability. You will self-sabotage because you won't really believe that it's possible. Remember you are your reality. Your reality is the mirror. And if you don't master yourself, you won't be able to master your reality.
So when we talk about developing selfrust, you want to have unwavering confidence in yourself, in your ability to do anything, to be anything, and to handle anything that comes your way. This is literally the foundation of mastering your reality and actually being able to manifest what you desire. If you know you can step into the unknown, you can have challenges come up, you can have hurdles come up, you can have triggers come up, but you trust yourself to be able to navigate them and to be able to continue to align with what you want. then the fear that you feel normally when you go into these things is going to drop off and the sabotage is just not going to happen because you're going to have confidence that you are able to handle it. Even when we think about the questions that we asked a minute ago, a lot of people project fear and negativity into their desired reality because it's unknown and they just don't trust themselves to handle the unknown. So get your foundation of self-rust right first. How do you do this? Your word needs to become law. That is literally step one. You need to basically keep your word to yourself. And this helps as well. I've talked about this a lot, but this also helps you in mastering your ego and being able to really observe and step outside of your ego. You want to be keeping your commitments to yourself, no matter how small they are. And when you say you're going to do something, you do it. and start small with this because the stuff really does add up. You may also want to reflect on when did you really lose trust with yourself because sometimes we can do things when we're very unconscious and we're acting out of ego that causes us to actually lose trust with ourselves. So, you want to go to those events and forgive yourself. This is really important and I don't see a lot of people talking about this. Forgive yourself for any past times that you may have betrayed yourself and caused yourself to lose trust in yourself. Forgive yourself. You were doing the best with the level of awareness that you had at the time. And then the last thing you can do to immediately increase your self trust is to identify and take three actions that you've been avoiding. So right now on this video, identify three things that you know would align you with your truth with the thing that you want and go and take those three actions today. Immediately your trust in yourself is going to increase and when you trust yourself that's basically I have a whole video called self trust is your secret weapon but that is your secret weapon in life. You can know that you can enter any arena. You can align with anything you desire. And the doubts, the insecurities, the roadblocks that would normally come from not having selfrust won't be in your way anymore.
So that is how you eliminate self-sabotage forever. You become aware of what the misalignment is. Because all self-sabotage is, it's action that we're taking from a misalignment internally with our desired reality. And so if you really want to overcome this, if you want to rise above this and actually figure out why this is happening, first of all, you need awareness. You need to identify what the actual misalignment is. It's very simple. Everything you do, you do for a reason. So figure out what the misalignment is. Figure out the belief, the thought, the feeling. What is it that's causing you to be misaligned with your desired reality and that's causing you to sabotage? Then you want to rewire any negative associations that you have about your desired reality. Any limiting beliefs that you have about yourself achieving your desired reality. And then the last thing you want to do is you want to develop self-rust. Self-rust is the ultimate antidote to self-sabotage. Because when you can have conviction in yourself, you will have conviction in your ability to materialize your preferred reality. You're not just acting this way for no reason. You're not being punished by God. You are being showed a misalignment. And if you follow these three steps, you'll be able to come into alignment, collapse time, and have what you prefer.
That is all for this video, guys. I hope it helped. Thank you so much for watching and I will see you all next.