Interview w/ Actor Dondre' Whitfield

From different voices. I don't want to just hear from people that agree with me. We're about to dive into some even deeper, deeper topics. Ask a Brother podcast.

>> Ask a Brother podcast. >> Welcome to another episode of Ask a Brother podcast. I'm your host, Jeff St. James. You know, the revolution is going to be because of us.

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>> Yes sir. Let's go. Let's go. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to another episode of Ask a Brother podcast. I am your host, Jeff St. James. And listen, man, I am excited. I am excited. I'm excited. I tell y'all that I never know sometimes week in and week out what the surprises are going to be. And thanks everybody that's been tuning in to all the different content that we've been covering um over the course of this week. Uh from the men's table discussion where we discuss um the pros and cons of dealing with uh entering into uh dating women who have children already. Uh the conversation about um as women age, what's happening with their psychology when they're younger versus when they get older. And the feedback has been phenomenal. So, I am I am absolutely excited, man. Obviously, this week we just cleared 50,000 subscribers. And I got to I got to keep reminding myself about the fact that from January last year till July 1st, we had about a hundred people that was following this channel. So that means over 50,000 of you have joined this platform from July 2nd till today. So thank you. So I I just double-checked about 20 minutes ago. We're at 50,719 subscribers as of now. So kudos to y'all, man. So kudos. Thank you.

>> Yeah. Yeah. And obviously obviously I always try to recommend and and remind folks or at least just try to remind y'all to listen. Make sure y'all like and subscribe the episodes. Uh share it, of course. Feel free to hype up the videos whenever you see the hype button is available. And listen y'all, I am excited. I am excited. I am excited because I I keep trying to explain to y'all that um week in and week out, it really is a shock to me about the people who I've seen on screen, the different people who I've watched, whether they were commentators, actors, uh uh lawyers, uh uh professors. It's been amazing to see just different people with different perspectives being able to come to this platform and bless my audience and and I'm excited. So, to kind of get things kind of rumbling, I'm going to let you guys know a couple quick things. A thank you to today's sponsor from Escape to Zanzar of the Rangsburg crew and DJ the money coach. Make sure you guys check out their information. The link is in the channel description. So, I'm going to say as clear as possible, I'm going to warn you guys now, this brother is absolutely going to be entertaining. He is going to be great. But before I introduce him, couple quick things I'm going to ask you. Make sure you like, make sure you've subscribed if you're not. Feel free to become a member. Our membership is only $2.99 per month. And that's the number one way to support the brand and channel for sure. And then remember what I said before y'all, next week, just like I said for this week, we're going to have another we're going to have two surprises next week. We're going to have one a surprise guest for the men's table next week as we discuss a critique of both the manosphere and feminism. And then we're also going to have a a one-on-one surprise interview with somebody that many of you have heard of and known and have seen functionally pretty much everywhere. So, I'm super excited and I may even do one or two uh additional concept pieces just because of the overall response of what you all were stating this week. Um, I'm just trying to decide which one or two that I'm going to go with. So, give me the weekend to kind of maul it over. Um, and then last but not least, as far as our groups, we have our men's self-improvement group that runs on Tuesdays at 7:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time every single week. It is virtual. The links are in the description. And then last but not least, our uh virtual movie book club is on Mondays at 8:30 Eastern Standard Time. Um, we're currently watching uh uh Lovecraft Country. It's my first time ever watching it. Don't hate me. I'm sorry that I'm super late to the party, but listen, man. Jonathan Majors. That's a brother I got to get on here. So, if people got connections, let that brother know. I absolutely want to interview him. But listen y'all, last but not least, before I introduce tonight's guest, which all nobody knew, nobody knew other than my my internal team. So, I'm excited to bring this brother on. But real quick y'all, if you can so that we can boost up the numbers, I highly recommend. I say it every time when I say it when I do these interviews, I mean it. You are going to want to send this to every man and every woman that you know. Almost everybody that looks like me is going to know who this brother is. They have seen him every first of all, he is everywhere literally. But before um, let me see who's in the building before I even introduce him to make sure. Let me see if I got any of my regulars in the build. Noah, what's going on? Good brother. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Everett, welcome. Welcome. Who else is here? Smooth JD, what's going on, my brother? Hey, NC in the building. What's going on, Terry? Who else is here? I What was that? Ideal. What was that? Idea stole ideas to Oh, ideas to income. Sorry. I don't know why I couldn't read it. You got to do do some more capitals in that. I couldn't. It's going to take me a little while. Uh, what's going on? Welcome. Welcome. Who else is here? Who else is here? So, I'm telling y'all, man, this brother is passionate. We are going to cook. I already could tell it's going to be a really good, great episode. So guys, feel free to make sure again that you let let me know that you're here. Make sure that you send it to two, three, four, even five people and let's get this up in the algorithm for sure. All right, y'all. So, without further ado, whenever it's a surprise interview, I know y'all not tuning in for me. So, I'm going to make sure I do this introduction justice. Um, because I I'm I'm genuinely excited about tonight's guest. Um, our guest today is a three-time Emmy nominated actor whose career spans over three decades, uh, with his breakout role in the legendary legendary Cosby Show. Um, to his incredible performance in the award-winning series Queen Sugar in various roles in everything from All My Children to The Real Husbands of Hollywood, which again was extremely underrated and hilarious of a show. By the way, one thing is clear though, this brother knows how to act. But on top of that, he is actually far more than just an actor. in just a face on the screen. He is an author, a devoted mentor, and a powerful voice in the conversation about modern manhood and masculinity. So, please, please, please help me welcome to the stage and to Ask a Brother podcast for the first time the author of Male Verse Man, none other than Mr. Dandre Whitfield. What's going on, sir?

>> My brother. >> Yeah. a first time to Ask a Brother podcast, but not the last time.

>> Hey, hey, listen, man. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the show. And before we get into all the the the everything, I just want to say personally, bro, thank you for coming through. And I want to just ask straight out for the audience, how did we even connect? Because I because the impression is I'm paying everybody $10,000 to come up on on the show. can you put out for the audience how did we in your words straight from the horse's mouth how how did this happen?

>> Actually, I saw a clip of yours. >> Okay. >> And um there are very few voices that that I align with. >> And when I when I heard you speaking, I reached out to you via social media, Instagram in particular. >> Um, I said, "Hey, brother. I think you know we should talk." And we started communicating from there. >> Mhm. >> Um, we set up a call. We talked about an an idea that I won't let >> the cat out of the bag. >> Not yet. >> But an idea that I was uh putting together and um and that was the first time that we actually connected. That's actually how all of this came about. So you didn't reach out to me, you know, as a as a Hollywood type. >> Yeah. >> We we were already connected in in the brotherhood. >> So a I I so appreciate you coming to this platform. I I keep I was just literally saying this platform has not even been two years old and it's been awesome to see you and so many other people reaching out wanting to come on and and talk to my audience. So before I even waste anything, let me start with the initial question I've been wanting to ask you. Why don't we start with you kind of letting people know um a little bit about how you got into acting and then how your career kind of transitioned or changed over time.

>> Yeah. So um just getting into, you know, your extracurricular activities, you know, when you're a kid. And I had that one teacher in in elementary school that recognized that I had a a gift for com connecting with people. >> And she kept asking me to come be in her play. I grew up in Brooklyn. So I'm a I'm a Brooklyn head. I I grew up in and not not the the the Brooklyn that you saw on the Cosby show. >> Okay. Not that. >> The the the the Brooklyn where you had to throw hands every day. And at that time as a light-skinned dude with curly hair, use your imagination. If you don't remember, >> man, you was in the trenches. You was in the trenches. >> Yo, fam. >> That was an invitation to a fight every day. >> So, every single day I had to throw hands. And listen, I got this teacher telling me to come and be in her school play where I grew up. That's like being that's the equivalent of being in the glee club. I'm like, "Lady, you're trying to get me beat up. I'm I'm trying to play against tight right now." >> And I got in trouble for stepping out of line during a fire drill. She found out I had to serve detention and she, you know, she came to me, Miss Miss Jackson, may she rest in peace, and she said, "Look, you either serve detention or you come and be in my play." >> And, you know, I wasn't crazy. I was like, "I'm not serving detention. I'mma just go ahead and rock this play out and maybe I can get kicked out and I won't have to do nothing." >> But God had the right plan. And when I stepped out on stage, it's like all the things that worked against me in class worked for me on stage. >> Wow. >> And so that, you know, a a few days after that, she came in with a list of of actor salaries. And I was like, wait a second, people get paid to do this. >> And after that, it was like, okay, boom. And then the next thing you know, you know, uh, at 15 years old, I am on the most watched show in television history. >> And it never would have happened had she not recognized, you know, my talent. So that was how, you know, everything sort of there's a a deeper and broader story to all of it. But those are the the cliffnotes. Mhm. >> Um, but that's actually how I arrived in trying to pursue this thing that we call acting.

>> Nice. Nice. And so it's wild. I never knew that particular story in terms of how you went from I'm about to get in trouble to like now I'm on the Cosby. I'm like this is this is crazy. The times I got in trouble, I just got in trouble. So the fact >> that is wild to me. And what was it like like that being that young and being on something watched by so many people? Like what was that?

>> First of all, my I I'll never forget my audition for the show. I I was auditioning it. I I it almost didn't happen >> because I have been going on auditions for the better part of almost six months >> and get a job. And I remember calling my agent and this beautiful white woman who saw something in me. Her name was D uh Jane >> Chronic. >> And I had been going on these auditions. Didn't land anything. And I finally called her one day because I just felt bad. And I said, you know, look, obviously I'm not cut out for this and so I'm sorry to have wasted your time. I have been getting what we call call backs where you go on an audition and you know, you you're kind of like make they're just cutting it down, you know. Yeah. >> And been getting a bunch of call backs, no jobs. And I finally said, I'm obviously not cut out for this because I'm not getting any jobs. And she said, DARE, trust me. Listen, I this is what I do. I know what I'm doing. I just want you to stick with me. Stick with me. She's like, you're getting call backs. And I'm like, and it's so funny because at 15 years old, I was like, where I'm from, you either get checks or you don't get checks. >> Yeah. >> And she wouldn't let me quit. She said, "No, you just just just >> stick with this. Trust me." >> Wow. >> And about two weeks after that, I got an audition for the Cosby Show. And I will never forget it is down to me and and a a couple of other actors and I walk in this room >> and I'm doing my audition across from this uh from this other brother. His name was Achily Prince. And I will never forget going in there and I was supposed to say to him in this scene >> you didn't tell Vanessa that I said that I like her, did you? And I literally because I was so there was so much adrenaline going through me because Mr. Cosby's in the room. Tippus Bledso's in the room. And this is I'm still living in the hood at this point, fam. >> Yep. Yep. >> And I grabbed him and with all of that adrenaline, I was never a big kid. With all that adrenaline running through my body, I picked him up and I said the line and I picked him up off the ground. >> So his feet are dangling. >> They are cracking up. And I think that that's literally what got me the job. It was the the physicality of the the comedy. >> Wow. >> And >> right then and right there, they said, "Dandre, we need you to stick around because you got the part you're going to have to go through wardrobe and all of that." And I'll never forget being >> escorted to my dressing room. >> There was a phone in the dressing room and I called my mother and I said, "Mom, I got I got it." And she's like, "Got what?" And I was like, "Job, I'm gonna be on the Cosby show." And she dropped the phone and she is screaming and I am like, "Uh, hello, mom. Mom, mom." And they're calling me. They're knocking on the door. Dandre, we got to take you to wardrobe. I don't even know what that is at this point. That's how I am. >> And I'm like, "Mom, I I'll call you back. I gotta I gotta go." >> Life changing. >> That is how it was. It was life-changing. My life literally changed in that moment.

>> Incredible. Incredible. So, so one, so a you know, you kind of like Kevin Hart where y'all y'all been in damn near everything. Y'all been y'all been literally everywhere. And for me, um, my the second question I wanted to ask you was like as one of Hollywood's most, you know, consistently working actors, you've navigated the industry for obviously decades. Um, avoiding being typ casted, you've intentionally kind of alternated between like drama and even comedy. Um, you know, I kind of referenced a couple of those. What was it? Queen Sugar, Real Housewives, stuff like that. Was that intentional or was that just when the opportunities kind of presented itself, you kind of took them?

>> Absolutely intentional. Uh I never wanted anyone to see me as a one-dimensional actor. >> Um I equally love doing comedy as well as uh drama. >> Yep. So whenever I would get a job where it was if it was a comedy then I had my eyes set on a drama like intentionally trying to the very next and that's very any actor will tell you that is extremely hard to do because jobs are extremely hard to come by. So your talent has to separate you from your competition and then timing has to accompany your talent. So that is extremely hard to do in an industry like this. It's extremely volatile. >> Um but >> I stuck to my guns and and and always had a vision for what I wanted my career to look like. >> Um and I think that, you know, God was always um walking with me and everything. I have a big thing about manifesting things and and this was about way before I even knew what manifesting was. >> Yeah. >> I will never forget when I was a kid and in our apartment and we had this small television the size of like a surveillance monitor. I would go and walk past that television every day and I would rub the top of it like I was on Showtime at the Apollo with the theater >> uh with the you know with the the stuff >> and um shout out to my sister um Kiki Shepard who we just >> Ah Kiki Shepard. Yeah. Yep. >> It's my sister. I love her. And um I I would touch that thing and rub it and I would say to myself I would say out loud, "One day I'm going to be on this thing. One day I'm going to be on this thing." And every day I would speak exactly what I wanted my life to look like. I said I was going to be married. I said I wanted to have two kids. I said I wanted a three-car garage. I said I wanted a swimming pool. I said I wanted a a house behind a gate. I I said I wanted to have two dogs. I got every single thing that I manifested with the exception of the dog part. Instead of two, we got three. >> So, every single thing about my life >> has been spoken out loud. So, I want all of our folks to know whatever it is that you desire in this life, >> don't even think it, speak it out loud. The universe is listening to you and and it is galvanizing all of the things and all of the energy that it takes in order to make that come to fruition. So speak it out loud. Say it every single day. >> Every time you get the opportunity, speak it out loud. That is exactly what I was doing every every single day. >> Just speaking it out loud. My life has literally come into existence because it's everything that I spoke out loud.

>> Yeah. And what's wild is I started really doing something very similar u with visualization which and I would visualize what I wanted to do visualize who I wanted to work with even starting this last year and I was saying it out loud. I I would just claim it. And my wife who started to get what I was doing, she told me something that's been extremely helpful. She said, "You are who you think you are." >> And and it and it rocked me because, you know, sometimes we do the self-doubt and is it going to work or not? In my head, the future is as clear as looking at the screen right now. It's super like it's just it's all you see.

>> Absolutely. You you you are who you think you are and you are who you say you will become. >> Absolutely that. >> And I and don't don't be I'm very intentional about the people that I have around me. >> Same. >> I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in trying to have an abundance of people around us. I say people to to people all the time. My my network is vast but my circle is small. Be very

>> Hold on. Hold on. Here we go. Now he cooking now. You already start. Please say that part again. Say that again.

>> Stop playing man. Like I my network is vast >> but my circle is small. >> So if you go through my phone I literally if I brought if if I hit my contacts >> and I just roll that joker you will see literally a thousand people in there. That's my network. >> Yeah. My people. >> Yeah. >> Small intentionally. Why? Because we got to get intentional about the kind of Don't look at people as people. Look at people as energy. >> What kind of energy do you want to have around you? Because every single person >> is simply an energy. >> It's interesting. My daughter who is away at college, the house feels 100% different because her energy is not here. >> So if you want to change your environment, don't think of adding people, think of adding energy. The person gives you a specific energy. So, think of it like a mad chemist. What kind of energy do I want in my cipher? And just realize that each person adds a specific energy. And if you want to change your environment, the first way to change your environment is by changing the energy. So, either add or delete the energy that you want in your environment and it will it will be done. That's facts. That's facts. You are your circle. And And I'm me doing this for a few uh you know, obviously a little a little over a year. I'm learning that now in this space >> that I want to collab with everybody. I want to work with every like but my circle >> I got to be so intentional about who's pouring into me and what they're asking for out. Oh, no question. >> Yeah. >> No question.

>> Um so real quick because I do see a super chat. Um Boring Millionaire channel. Appreciate you good brother for the 999 history. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Appreciate you for the love and support for that. And everybody that's currently just tuning in or the people that's going to be tuning in in the near future, if you're going to be catching up while we're still live, hey, please make sure that you guys like this, subscribe, and send this to two, three, four, even five people. So, another question I wanted to ask you about um some of the biggest issues with men, especially men of means, men in Hollywood, and definitely men and and just, you know, high-profile guys, um they they there tends to be volatile issues relating, it's always almost always connected with women somehow, right? Right. From domestic violence to uh public disputes about involving child custody, me too, and all the allegations. A lot of men have had their lives and or careers destroyed because of this stuff. As an acting veteran that's been able to kind of survive Hollywood for 30 years, hey, how you do it? and and and how are you navigating and avoiding a lot of those things and pitfalls that a lot of other gentlemen um especially in the Hollywood circles weren't able to avoid?

>> You know, um there are so many temptations that come with um access, particularly access to excess. >> Here's what I want. So let me just start with avoiding the pitfalls for me came with understanding what my character is. I'm not talking about the characters that I play. I'm talk I'm talking about the character that I have. So my job first and foremost is to be a man first. >> Before I'm a black man, I'm a man. Before I'm a man, I'm a human. So what I'm trying to do every single day is to be a human being that helps to build other human beings. At the end of the day, I know that as a husband, as a father, I want to be the kind of man that I want my daughter to be with. >> And I want to be the kind of man that I want my son to be >> every single day. I And and it's interesting even thinking about my mother. I've always wanted to be the kind of man that I wished that my grandmother and my mother had. >> Wow. Wow. >> I I don't think that enough of us as men are introspective enough >> to sit in those kinds of thoughts. So, not only is it incumbent upon us as men to teach and to develop other men, but here's an assignment for our sisters also. My sisters, you have an assignment to help teach us what kind of men to become. Not by telling us, but by training us. Training. >> Here's the training that I want you to get. If you are a woman that is desired by other men, when you spend time with the brother who has the stuff, what you are teaching other males who haven't yet properly metriculated into manhood is that the way to gain time with a woman like yourself. >> Stuff. >> Is stuff. >> Mhm. >> So, by stuff, let's just cut to the chase. If a young male sees that all it takes in order to gain access to a woman like you is money, then he will obtain money and not manhood. >> Bro, listen. Listen, audience, I'm telling y'all right now, if y'all currently tuned in, he's about to cook. Go ahead, continue. So if the only thing that he sees because every single young male is watching. >> So his despite all of the things that his mother could have taught him, >> the biggest teacher because most young males don't learn by listening, they learn by looking. >> Yeah. So if I sit back and I look and I see the brother who has all the stuff and now he gains access to this woman who all of these brothers are vying for her attention and for her hand. >> Yeah. >> And the only thing that I see that he doesn't have is stuff. Then now I desire to gain access to stuff. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> At the end of the day. Yeah. At the end of the day now, what you do in teaching me is Yeah. If you've got the the car, if you've got the watch, if you've got the access to the excess, you can get my attention. >> But if our sisters REALLY WANTED TO TRAIN US, they wouldn't fall for that. They fall into alignment with the men who are metriculating or who have metriculated into manhood. Now you get males to understand that the only way to gain access to a woman like that is to metriculate into manhood. So not only is it in is is it incumbent upon us as men to train up men to be men, but it's also incumbent upon our sisters to train up males to be men by saying, "Hey, this is the only way you gain access to me." Man, listen at the I'm ladies that's the ladies that's gonna watch this episode in the future. What he's basically hitting home on is you are a reinforcement mechanism. >> Period. >> Ladies don't realize, and we say it all the time, they kind of control the market in ways that they don't realize. And it's like you can't keep you can't keep dating the trash men, g having sex with them, giving them access to your body, giving them children. That's >> right. And and then are surprised when the lesson you're teaching all the other men and boys is that's what you want. And then of course you wait until you aged out to then say, "Oh, well, I guess that's not what I wanted all along." No, no, no, no, no. How about wanting that earlier and sooner when the majority of men do want you. I'm like, ladies, y'all y'all more powerful in this space than you realize. And if you want the quality of men to change, you got to challenge the quality of men that are having access to you in the first place. Period. Particularly when you're at your most valuable stage. >> Uh oh. Uh oh. Cuz you know, cuz you know there's there's circles that don't want to hear that that that there's a time window that there there's I just was talking about it with the wall yesterday. Go ahead. >> We have our most watch this. We have our most valuable stage. >> Our most valuable stage is when we come into our manhood and we also acquire means. >> Yep. >> Right. So if I if if I am in my male stage >> and and and I don't have two nickels to rub together, >> I will not be able to get anyone's attention. >> I'm at my less my least valuable stage. So let's keep it a 100. >> Yeah. >> If men have a most valuable stage, a woman has her most valuable stage, too. Oh, so we do got primes. So there is a prime for both. >> So I'm not crazy. So I'm not a a bizarre therapist that don't know what he talk. I thought, okay, I'm just making sure. >> No, come on. WE GOT TO START WE GOT TO START GETTING REAL. >> We got to start getting real about Look, Kevin Samuels, if we just being a hundred. >> Yeah. Kevin Samuels talked about a lot of subject matter that actually was on point, but unfortunately that brother put it in a way that was uncomfortable and and and and not very digestible. >> So, let me put it in language that everyone can understand. If if if sisters are being real, I know a whole bunch of sisters that watch this stuff. >> Yep. >> That they absolutely agreed with. >> Same here. >> Secretly in circles. >> They wouldn't say it on social media though, but they >> was they couldn't SAY IT OUT FRONT, BUT THEY WATCHED that Joker. >> Yep. >> Okay. Even after they saw this brother destroying women on camera, still watching him, HE STILL HAD WOMEN GUESTS. THEY KNEW WHAT WAS WHAT THEY were in for >> still showing up. >> Okay, so watch this. >> Let's say I made a meal. >> And let's say in that meal I cooked up the kind of protein that was rich in nutrients that you needed. Mhm. >> But if I serve it on the garbage can lid, how much of that meal are you going to be willing to eat? >> Zero. >> Not zero. >> Zero. Yeah. >> That is the equivalent to what was going on with our with our brother Kevin Samuels. >> Mhm. >> He was serving up some nutrients. >> Some of the stuff was nutrientdense. Yeah. >> But he was serving it on a garbage can lid. Yeah. It's a two-edged sword. It's a two-edged sword. Yeah. And I'll acknowledge this. Had he not had the style that he did, most of us wouldn't have heard of him, men and women. >> That's right. >> So, it kind of came as a package deal. >> It's it serves this purpose because it what it did was it teed up conversations that we need to have. >> Facts. >> And without him being uh as as as shocking as he was, >> Yeah. we probably would be uh unable to even approach those subjects. >> Oh, 100%. He he listen there were obviously the the man is fear the black man is fair. This stuff has existed well before Kevin was even known and in terms of amongst men that was even into this stuff but it went it's really started to take off mainstream especially in our community. >> Yeah. >> When when when he when his rise came. So he definitely um I agree with a lot of what you said. uh you know probably about 85% of what he >> stood on and what he pushed for I was pretty much agreed with. >> Right. And and let me be perfectly clear. I'm not saying that 100% of everything that he talked about that we agree with or not. >> But by and large we're talking about the things that he was on to that that did have nutrients in them. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Weren't digestible based on how he presented them on that garbage can lid. And I'll give you a perfect example. And if I'm trying if I'm trying to tell my my wife about something that she's wearing. Let's say she's wearing a dress and she says, "What do you think?" Well, if I say to my wife, "Babe, I don't think that that particular dress highlights your curves or highlights your physique." >> That's one thing. >> The garbage can lid is that dress makes you look fat. >> Yeah, you're right. You're right. What what are we what are we doing? >> Exactly? >> Right. So, as I talk about in in my book, Male Versus Man, there's there's two types of language. >> There's protein and there's kerosene. Protein language builds someone up. Kerosene language burns them down. So what we got to start doing is we got to start having these types of conversations where we use protein language so that our sisters will want to digest what we are giving them and not use that kerosene language that's going to burn them down and keep them out of the conversation that is absolutely necessary for us to have. >> Yeah. Yeah. Now there is the caveat that there's people who will interpret anything that you say as as that >> look >> where where it doesn't matter how cuz cuz what I when I entered into the space and I realized I said I'm not calling women out their names. I'm not disrespecting people. I don't even do calling shows like that although people want me to >> and I've learned that there's a whole bunch of people. It's the fact that we're even having the conversation. the fact that you're even speak as a man even speaking on anything that you think women are doing wrong or needs to change to make the dynamic between men and women better. And I'm like, well, who >> y'all say? He couldn't talk on it because he was an image consultant. They said he couldn't talk about it because he was a man. And I said, but I see how y'all talk about these women when they get in the space. You call them pick me. You attack them. You you stalking them and everything. and and and what I've learned and realized doing this for as long as I have, there's a there's a percentage that I agree with you that's like if you say it a little bit better, I can truly receive it. >> My man. >> In this community, I'm telling you, >> it's a lot harder. >> You don't you don't have to tell me I'm not worried about because I you know I I experience it particularly talking about the subject matter I talk about, right? Mhm. >> There are certain people and while we're talking about our sisters, unfortunately, there are certain sisters who are just committed to disagreeing with everything that you have to say. >> Like right now, I I there there is right now what we call internalized misogyny. Mhm. >> Internalized misogyny right now is uh like women who absorb patriarchal and and and misogynistic beliefs >> about other women >> and then turn that on themselves and essentially they turn that bias on themselves and to their own gender. And that >> and that is the fault of they say the fault of men. But wait a second. >> You know it. It don't m you know it's going to always be on us. You know it's going to always be on us in the end. That's how it works. >> This is getting crazy. >> LISTEN. >> INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY IS OUR FAULT. the thing that you actually can't control. >> Still, >> that's crazy talk. >> Why you think so many of them struggle with apologizing? >> Why do you think so many of them struggle with with taking accountability apologizing? Because they a lot of them do think it is ultimately always a man's fault. >> And guess what? Those are the ones who will remain partnerless >> because >> they starting it off. Go ahead now. Go ahead. >> I can't listen. What man, what man is going to be willing to be partnered with you when you are literally saying that everything that happens in your life is the fault of a man? That is absolute crazy work. >> It's a male. >> And I don't care. I don't care whose feelings are hurt behind that. That's crazy work. >> Oh, the male. It's got to be males that's doing this because like you said, I can't I can't even see myself being with a woman who can never take accountability or apologize or acknowledge doing anything wrong. I can't even see myself like and then there's guys that's like you know how she is and I'm like what's wrong with you? >> If a man didn't apologize to his woman that he was in relationship with >> not she ain't >> like there's no she's not sticking around for that. >> No. What makes you think that a man wants to stick around in a relationship where his woman doesn't likewise apologize for what she's doing? >> That's I mean again this is not See, here's the problem. The problem is that we've been bought and sold this idea that men and women should be competing instead of completing. >> And I talk about this often. Our job is to complete the family structure and not be caught up in this space of competing with each other. Right? We are h hardwired to be the opposite of what we are. But that's actually the thing that makes us a great partnership. >> Exactly. Because if we were wired the same, that makes one of us unnecessary. >> Facts. Facts. >> Okay. So, like look, you've got I I'll take let's take technology right now. We got a camera and we got microphones, right? Those two things are the opposite of each other. >> Correct. >> But it makes them entirely compatible. >> Yep. >> Because they complement each other. >> Complimentary approach. Yep. Equally important but not equal in function. >> And there in lies the the the the relationship between men and women. We are equally important. We're just not equal in function. >> Yes. Yes. >> Why is that? >> You know why it's controversial? Because there's an ideology that's been telling everybody for so long um any differences is seen as sexist. like we just we're we're completely equal in all ways, shapes, and form. And we all know visually, experientially, we're not like equal across the board. We know that there's unique differences. >> I can do anything you can do. No, you can't. And that's actually a part of of of nature's divine design. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And we're NOT TALKING ABOUT WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT BRAIN POWER SYSTEMS. M >> I'm so I'm so I'm so tired of talking about this in this rudimentary way. Like my sisters, we are not talking about the function of your brain. >> Yeah. >> That that is not what we are talking about. Like if that's where you're coming from, th this is going to be an an exhausting exchange >> every time. >> Come on, man. >> Every time. Every time. So, another question I wanted to ask you, and for everybody that's watching right now, if you guys can, please make sure that you like this, make sure you're a subscriber, and absolutely, absolutely make sure that you send it to two, three, four, even five people. Uh, the demonization of black men, you've been pretty vocal about that for quite some time, especially as it relates to the media and how they present us um across different uh medium platforms. Given your long career and how have you ever felt that you may have regretted any roles that you've taken that didn't highlight the best of black men?

>> Zero. >> And the reason for that is, you know, I I never understood when I was a kid why I gravitated toward Harry Bellfonte. I never understood that. He always >> stood out for me. I never knew why until I became I I I came of age >> and then I understood why >> because >> our brother was not only a a powerful uh performer but he also had powerful purpose >> and I never wanted to misrepresent my people and I certainly never wanted to misrepresent black men. >> Yeah. And I'm going to tell you, um, I've never talked about this before. I'm gonna talk about this now because I'm tired. >> I'm tired of holding the secret. I did a a television show and I played a pretty powerful example of what a a black man is supposed to be. And they started writing a storyline that painted him like every other triflin black male that we see on television. And we already had enough of those on the show, too. And I remember taking great umbrage with this. And I brought it to the attention of the writers, producers, creator, all black, by the way. You know, we often talk about how we are portrayed by other people. >> Yeah. >> On screen. But we never want to talk about how we represent ourselves on screen. >> And I wasn't going for it, homeboy. >> I wasn't down with it. And it got me fired. and it got me fired and I stood on it and I would stand on it again because at the end of the day I never want to be remembered as a black man that did a television show for 10 years and misrepresented himself and misrepresented black men. I want to be remembered as a black man who portrayed black men. Look, the CDC said, the CDC said that black men were more prone to play a profound role in the lives of their family, particularly in in the lives of their children. >> Yes. Any other race of men. The CDC said that >> in terms of involvement. Absolutely. Yep. >> Hello. >> Yeah. >> So, I'm not trying to portray something that isn't true. I'm trying to portray the truth. >> Yeah. >> So, now what we got to start asking is why don't we see more of the truth on screen? We see the truth in the data. Why doesn't Why isn't the image matching the data? Why is that? WE GOT TO START asking those questions, don't we? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, I stood on that. Like they say, I stood on business. >> Yes. It got me fired. I absolutely will do it again. And this is absolutely one of the reasons why now I'm in the business of creating the kind of content that I want to see on screen myself. Creating the kind of content that represents again the data, not misrepresenting it, representing it, >> right? And this is a part of the demonization of black men on screen. >> We see it every single day. I Think about, and I'm not gonna call I'm not gonna call anybody's name out. I'm not even gonna reference any show, but I talked about doing a television show that since the Cosby Show, in my humble opinion, I don't think that there has been a show that depicts a black man and a black woman with black children representing a nuclear healthy black family. >> Mhm. >> With a healthy black man at the helm. I've had people and please don't please don't cite any examples cuz I don't want to have to say no. It doesn't. >> Okay? Cuz I thought it thought about two or three. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. Okay? >> Don't do it. Don't do it. Mhm. >> Because I got people I got friends who are a part of that. I got people who I know who are a part of those shows. >> But in my humble opinion, I am tired of seeing the black man have to be raised by his wife, >> have to be raised by his children, >> or if he's incompetent, >> have that automatically says he's incompetent. >> You're right. If he got to be raised by his wife and his children, >> that says he's incompetent. >> I'm tired of

Seeing the black man have to be raised by his wife. I'm tired of seeing the black man have to be raised by his children. I'm tired of seeing the black man have to be raised by his in-laws.

"Oh snap." Now that, now you're saying this. Now, hold on. Now that you're saying this, "I know I..."

"You know, you know what it is." "Oh snap." Stop playing. Don't play with me. Don't play with me. Don't play with me.

"Don't play with me." You name me.

"I can't."

"Exactly."

"Because there's always a c..." "Oh,"

"There's always a caveat."

"Oh my god."

"No matter how..." Watch this. No matter HOW ACCOMPLISHED THAT BROTHER IS.

"NO MATTER HOW ACCOMPLISHED THAT BROTHER AND WATCH THIS. WHAT THEY TRY TO DO is they try to slide it underneath the idea that this brother has access to excess."

"You know how they did it? They used they used the method of humor to communicate everything." "Hello." And to get you to ignore what is obvious.

Because all the people commented different things. I realize now it was the humor that they used to communicate that message. So, we're seeing it on on the white side when everybody's complaining about you can't find a competent father on any show at all, white or black. And I'm thinking and I'm looking back and that's ain't about today, but now that I think about it, I'm like, "Oh my god, you're right. You are right."

Oh man, this is. Hey, listen. I our audience can call me a lot of things.

"What they can't call me is inaccurate or a liar."

"Wow."

"What they can't call me is inaccurate or a liar."

Y'all, if y'all currently watching, I'm telling you to send this to a couple people right now. I'll send this to a few people right now because especially people who have watched, grew up watching a lot of the shows that we we can all start thinking, "Oh my god, this is crazy."

"You can call me light-skinned, you can call me baldheaded, you can call me all, but you're not gonna call me inaccurate or a liar."

"Ah." Oh man.

"We better we better move on, bro. You right. I'm not." We better move on 'cause this going to be THAT THAT THAT SUBJECT matter right there.

"That's an hour that's an hour-long discussion by itself."

"Yes, sir."

"Oh my god."

So, listen.

"Now, now that you now that you're thinking about it's crazy, right?"

"I know after this interview is over, I'm going to try to go back and prove you wrong, and I'm already fearful I'm not going to be able to."

"I promise you, you can't."

"That's the craziest part. If if you can, we gonna do part two on that."

"I..." And watch this. "I dare you."

"I'm fearful. I can't find it because..." And I watch a lot of shows.

"I dare you. Matter of fact, your staff, you better ask them to help you, bro."

"Okay. Okay. Okay. Wow."

"You better ask Gemini. Every so often. Um, I'm sure you've personally known guys that's gone through public scandals, right? Especially being on that side."

"Unfortunately."

"Yeah. How did they handle that stuff? And did they ever need something from you during those low moments? Because the reason why I'm asking this question is because as a mental health specialist, when I'm working with people behind the scenes, it's very private. It may just be in their immediate circle, their their immediate family situation. It's a totally different situation when hundreds of thousands or millions of people are covering your scandal or whatever it is and and you actually know a lot of these guys. So like how do you think they handled it? And then if they reached out to you, how were you able to kind of meet them in those low moments?"

You know, it's interesting because uh I I have had unfortunately and fortunately. Uh, unfortunately, it's it it be I say unfortunately because we've seen far too many examples of it.

"Yeah."

"Um, fortunately, I happen to be in a position where God has given me certain gifts that I'm able to use to help my brothers in those moments."

"Mhm."

"Um, and I think that one of the things that I immediately begin to point out to my brothers is the fact that simply because you are a great businessman doesn't make you a great man."

"And we acquire great skills to apply to our business. Um, and not to our everyday lives."

"And unfortunately in society, and this gets back to what I was talking about earlier with our sisters, unfortunately, when you have great acumen as a uh as a man in business, people immediately give you credit for being a great man. And being a great businessman has absolutely nothing to do with manhood. And and all of the brothers that we have seen that have experienced great downfall in their personal lives uh are missing uh the skill sets that are necessary to walk out being great men as husbands and as fathers."

"Yeah."

"Um, I will never forget. I was um coaching uh one of my uh one of my clients who's an extremely accomplished brother. He's won eight Grammys. He sold his his catalog for over a hundred million. And we were sitting in in his home. We were sitting in his office and opulence."

"And I asked the simple question. Do you consider yourself to be a success?"

"And it stopped him in his tracks and he paused. He kind of looked around for a second like almost as if to say don't..."

"You can't tell."

"I sat there like and I sat there and I waited."

"And he said uh yeah."

"And I said, 'Interesting.' And so I wrote down on my on my pad and he said, 'Well, do you consider me to be a success?'"

"And I said, 'Well, let me point out a couple of things to you and then let's see if you can reanswer. Your wife wants to divorce you. The three kids that are in your house are completely disconnected from you. You have another child that lives 3,000 miles away from you is completely disinterested in connecting with you. You uh you've uh cheated on your wife. You abuse alcohol and drugs. Would you consider yourself to be a success?'"

"And my brother put his head down."

"I reflected and he looked back up at me and he said, 'No.' He said, 'What what do I call myself?'"

"I said, 'Accomplished.' I said, 'Your eight Grammys that were sitting behind me.'"

"Mhm."

"I said, 'Your eight Grammys point to the fact that you are an extremely accomplished human being, but in order to be successful, see, you've accomplished everything that you've set forth for yourself in your profession.'"

"Yeah."

"But you are failing in your personal life."

"In order to be successful, in my opinion, you need to Find the balance between being accomplished in your professional life and being accomplished in your personal life."

"Now, I just used a very controversial word, balance, because immediately you'll hear people say, 'Well, there's no such thing as balance.' Which is absolutely ridiculous."

"And I'm going to prove to you why. There's no such thing as perfect balance. When we walk, every time I take a step with my right foot, technically I am out of perfect balance. Why? Because more of my weight is where? On my right side."

"Yeah."

"When I take my step with my left foot, now I'm out of perfect balance again because more of my weight is on my left side."

"But I am in balance because balance is about not falling."

"Yeah. Literally."

"If I'm walking a tight rope and I've got a weighted staff and I'm walking this tight rope, every time I lean to one side or the other, the weighted staff helps me get back into balance so I don't what? Fall off of this highwire."

"It doesn't mean that I'm in perfect balance, but it does mean that I am in balance. Why? Because I haven't fallen."

"Cuz you haven't fallen. Wow."

"So success really is about me being in balance enough in my profession and my personal life so that I don't fall."

"Wow."

"So that I don't fall. I don't need to be a billionaire. I need to have enough money to sustain myself and my family, which is the whole purpose of partnership, by the way."

"Yeah."

"Okay. The purpose of partnership is to sustain a household."

"Yeah."

"So now that I have that, the idea is not for me to keep going so that I I I I make 533 CABILLION dollars and lose my wife, lose my children, lose my mind."

"Yeah."

"Right."

"And we've seen it, man. We we like it from the outside looking in everybody is always confused with why in their mind the people who have it all end up like this."

"You know why?"

"Why?"

"You know why? Because our brothers have been told that they are only valued when they have it all. A man is only valued when he has all of that. When he gets the bag."

"Yeah."

"Don't worry about that. His wife feels neglected. Don't worry about that. His children, he's never coached his kids teams. He's never been to any of his kids games. He's never poured into his children to become the kind of citizens that he that that he's going to put out into the world that resuscitates AND RESTORES SOCIETY. NEVER MIND THAT. Just go out and get the bag. Those are the kind of guys that are valued, which is why our brothers, all they aspire to be are guys who go out and get the bag."

"Yeah."

"If you got the clout out of balance,"

"If you got the clout, if you have the money, if you got the status, that's sufficient."

"And it was wild is what you said."

"Not sufficient."

"No, I'm saying that's..." "No, no, no. So, I'm saying is in their minds, they think that's sufficient. And there's a lot of ladies that enter into situations with these guys pretending or assuming that it is when it's not. Once they get there, they realize, 'Oh, I actually want to be treated well. Oh, I actually want you to, you know, be faithful to me.' And and it's like..."

"See, when we talk about high value man, high value man to most of society is that he makes a lot of money."

"Yep."

"And that dude, if you really want to be..." "Hey, look, I know a whole bunch of dudes"

"Mhm."

"That make a whole bunch of money. Low value as they come."

"Low value as they come. You wouldn't want them as as a brother, like as a trusted friend. You wouldn't want your daughter to be in relationship with them."

"You wouldn't want them as a human being in society helping to resuscitate and restore it."

"Quiet is kept."

"Low value as they come."

"Quiet is kept. Some of these guys are are guys that you probably wouldn't even feel comfortable leaving your wife around."

"Bro, listen. Let me tell you something. Those are the kind of cats you would have to absolutely slap if I'm being all the way 100."

"Yeah."

"Slap. Because that dude right there thinks that because of his value in society based on what he's accomplished on that side of the coin that that it means that he's entitled to gain access to any and everything, including your woman. Man, man, I'mma jail. He's gonna get slapped."

"Yeah. Yep."

So, seeing a lot of your work relating to the uh male verse man philosophy, which you've discussed with the guys such as I think it was like Trevor uh Trevor Jackson, Kevin Hart, Will Smith, uh even Boris Cojo. Um, all of which I'm fans by the way, brothers. So, feel free to pull up if y'all soc.

"Yes, sir."

"I wanted to ask you, what separates a male from a man in your eyes? And and is being a man something that is something that's given to you or something that's earned?"

So, the title of male is something that's given to you. God gave you that.

"When he when he gave you that, he gave you the title of male. But God left it up to you to turn you into a man. Okay?"

"In my in my book, that dude, that thing in male versus man, I talk about how males look to be served while men look to be of service. As a male, you will pursue paper, but your penis will be your compass."

"Oh my goodness. We ain't supposed to..." "Oh my god. Yes, sir. That's it. That's it."

"As a male, you will pursue paper, but your penis will be your compass. As a man, you will pursue peace, but your purpose will be your compass."

"That makes sense. That makes sense. Yeah."

"Let it sit there, right? Because when you first of all, what I'm what I'm I'm currently working on on my new book, which is about purpose."

"Mhm. Mhm."

"Whenever I have spoken to people who don't find themselves experiencing sustained happiness, it is literally because they don't know why they're here. They don't know why they exist. Right? I have often talked about how acting has been my passion but activation has become my purpose. So, while I love my acting and I love being on a great television show, I love doing a a great film, it doesn't come close to fulfilling me the way my purpose does in activating our brothers, in activating our people."

"Yeah."

"Right. That's my purpose. When you're a male and you look to serve yourself, you're going to pursue paper, but your penis is going to be your compass. When you are a man looking to be of service, you will pursue peace and your purpose is going to be your compass because every single day your purpose is to is to move the needle for humanity in a profound way."

"Literally. Literally. Wow."

"That's really what it BOILS DOWN TO. BECAUSE WATCH THIS. WHEN I'M WALKING OUT MY PURPOSE, I'm going to experience sustained happiness."

"I just told you earlier, rest in peace to my sister Kiki Shepherd, right? I found out two days ago that my my sister passed away."

"Hurt me to my heart. So, while I experience sustained happiness every day, what happens when my happiness is interrupted? When I find out about losing someone like that in my life, it it interrupts my happiness, but it will never interrupt my peace."

"Yeah."

"Because I don't lose my purpose. I may have lost connection with my happiness momentarily because I lost a profound person in my life. So that interrupts my happiness."

"Mhm. Mhm."

"But it will never take away my peace."

"Wow. Wow."

"Difference."

"Yeah. No, that's that that explains it so well. And most of us who were kind of bred and taught, especially when we were young, about what it means to be a man, it's literally the antithesis of what you just said. And and it takes and you almost got to grow out of that and there's a whole lot of damage. People got to lose marriages, access to kids, uh lose jobs and opportunities just to realize I have not been a man yet."

"Cuz cuz we we've never been taught what manhood is, which is why I wrote male versus man. There's been women from my past that I realize now in hindsight they never saw the man version of me."

"Bro, that right there in and of itself, the fact that you made that statement, that is manhood. That."

"But but what was wild is when you're not walking in that man role truly and you're handling and dealing with these women's lives and bodies, it makes sense why, like you said, the penis will be what leaves you. Not your morality."

"That's right."

"Not your true ethics, not your care of how they're going to be how they're going to view this situation and view the next man if it doesn't work out with you. None of that's on your radar. It's just about sexual gratification in that moment."

"That's it."

"That's it."

"And and literally what we just talked about earlier, the mightiest of guys, they have it all, but they haven't figured out how to be a man."

"Indeed."

"They're just a very rich, well-off, famous male."

"That's right. Still subscribing to most of the notions that a boy would subscribe to that we learned in in middle school."

"That's right."

"Just with more money. Oh my god. Listen y'all, if y'all are currently watching, please make sure absolutely please make sure that you like this particular video and send it to two, three, four, even five people. And definitely make sure that you're a subscriber. Just a few more questions, man. Because obviously you you you know, I've seen you on a multitude of different platforms and you're one of the few actors that even talks about masculinity, shockingly enough. Like you would think the guys that's rich and kind of insulated from the real world everyday average Joe stuff would be at a place of clout and status where they can talk about it's like you know ground zero of like most guys just stay away from it. So when it comes to the discussion about like red pill and manosphere, the stereotype of the red pill space often equates manhoods and you kind of mentioned it earlier with like material wealth gain and just having access to a lot of women. Um, from your vantage point, as far as false examples relating to that, what are the false examples of masculinity that you think a lot of us are being programmed into growing up that we have to kind of hit that switch and kind of be deprogrammed from?"

"Oh, that's super easy."

"Mhm."

"So in the environment that I grew up in, I was taught that manhood was uh strictly related to three things. My pecs, my penis, and my paper."

"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah."

"My pecs. How strong are you? Mhm. How much can you bench press? Can you knock a dude out? My penis. How many women have you slept with?"

"Yeah."

"How many women do you have access to? My paper. How much money?"

"Can you get out? CAN YOU GET OUT THE BAG? NOW, watch this."

"Mhm."

"None of those things have anything to do with manhood at all. None of them. None of them. I know a great deal of men who are great men that couldn't bench press 100 pounds."

"Well, listen, brother. I'm happy I'm happy you mentioned that. So, I qualify."

"Listen, y'all. I'm joking. I do work out a little bit. I didn't I I DIDN'T MEAN TO ATTACK YOU."

"YEAH, MAN. NOW, go ahead. My bad. My bad. Go ahead. Go ahead."

"So So a a great man and not have great physical strength."

"I know some great men who haven't been with a great deal of women."

"I know great men who don't have a lot of money."

"All of those things. If we're being completely honest, those things have nothing to do with manhood, but actually have a lot to do with masculinity. Those are very masculine things."

"Okay. They're manifestations of masculinity."

"Yeah. Yeah."

"But now we got to learn how to have the manifestations of manhood. And again, they get back to exactly what I was talking about earlier, which is, are you dedicated to being of service? Are you dedicated to to to building your community? Are you dedicated to resuscitating and restoring society? Or is everything just about you?"

"Yeah. So all of those things that we talked about, those things are very related to masculinity without necessarily being related to manhood."

"Understood."

"Does that mean that if you have those things that that that you have pecs and and and and that you've had access to women and you got now access to paper, does that necessarily mean that that you aren't a great man? Absolutely not."

"M."

"But what I want you to know is those three things aren't those things that make you a great man."

"You can have all of those things, but they aren't necessarily the things that make you a great man."

"Makes sense. That makes sense. I like that. I like that. So, you know what? Relating to the the manosphere space, the red pill community, especially as it pertains to being online. There's a lot of scrutiny from both men and women, typically people on the outside of it, um that pretty much see it as just a toxic uh dump dumpster fire where hurt and bitter men uh share horrific advice that doesn't match the real world like relationships. For me, you know, having having studied it for years and finally entering into the space myself to address some of the negative things that I've seen, but also trying to encourage, you know, a lot of like positive things and and just, you know, relating to like self-improvement, increasing men's emotional, social intelligence, the importance of networking. Your in your opinion, what parts of the online community as it relates to manosphere and red pill, whatever, of of men sharing and talking about their experiences do you agree with? And which parts of this space do you absolutely think you're you're you're just flat out against and don't agree with? And then also, are there any men in the space that you could think of that are doing at least a pretty decent job of sharing things that you think men need to hear?"

Yeah, I don't I wouldn't I wouldn't venture to um call out any men specifically because I've what I what I've also tried to get away from is because we see so many cats drop the baton and making these kinds of statements don't age very well.

"You know what? I understand that. I understand that. I don't age well."

"So, if I were to if I were to name anyone, I would name DARE Whitfield."

"Okay."

"Follow him. He's doing a fantastic job."

"Okay. Okay."

"And he's doing an accurate job because and the reason why I say that obviously I I I say that in in just but earnestness at the same time because I've been with the same woman for 28 years and as a black man with a black woman in this industry it is no small feat and every single day as a man what I am trying to do is to honor my my wife by giving her the kind of husband that I know that God wanted me to be when he assigned me to her."

"I want to be the kind of husband that I want my daughter to have and I want to be the kind of husband that I want my son to be. Every single day when I when I get up in the morning, I'm I'm constantly and consistently looking at myself because I can't help anyone unless I first begin to to tune my own instrument. I can't call anyone's instrument out of tune unless I can first hear how out of tune I am."

"Mhm. Mhm."

"Um I'll never forget one of the most powerful moments that I've ever had uh with my daughter was I had recalled an incident where she had done something that that went against the rules that my wife and I had laid out for her in terms of like no can do like this is what you don't do."

"Mhm."

"And she did one of those things that and I as a I went off and and I hurt her in the exchange. Not physically, but emotionally. And I think a couple of years had gone by. And I remember having one of these like reflection moments. And I said to her, 'Hey, um, when you have an opportunity, I need you to to uh come home cuz we need to have a conversation.'"

"And my daughter was wor she was like, 'Is everything okay?'"

"I said, 'Yeah, yeah, no, everything is good.' I said, 'And you're good.' I said, 'But I'm not good.' And we went into her room and she sat down and I said, 'I have to apologize to you because during that time I was so hurt by what had happened. And rather than tell you how hurt I was, I led with my anger.'"

"And as a man, as any human being, there's no way for you to be angry unless you're hurt first."

"Yep."

"But often in the language of manhood, we know that most people don't pay attention to us unless we come from the anger space because now everybody freezes."

"Yep."

"And with my daughter, I damaged some of her sensibilities by leading with my anger. And I wanted her to know that that meant something to me. And in my apology to her, I cried and she cried."

"Mhm."

"And I realized that her cry was about the fact that her father saw her. And what I wanted her to know was that her man is a while I'm not a perfect man, I'm a fully evolved man. And that I saw myself and that I wanted her to know that she was safe always with her father in understanding that her father could see his own shortcomings and wasn't prideful, ego-driven to the extent that he was beyond apologizing to her. And I think that what that did was first of all it mended something even though we were good it mended something in our relationship and took it to another level."

"But then what it also did was I think it modeled for her what she would want the man that ultimately would come into her life to mirror."

"Mhm."

"And that's the kind of value that we as men bring to the women in our lives in modeling for them what healthy manhood looks like."

"So do you think so? So so sorry because I don't want to my train of thought. So, do you think do you think that's at all happening when men are entering this space digitally and having these conversations about their experiences in their relationships? Or do you think that's like a very rare thing that's happening when it comes to this whole men on social media talking amongst each other about marriage, divorce, just their just their general experiences? Do you think that that's what you're talking about? Is that something that you think is kind of there or it's like it's pretty much not happening like you don't see it."

I think it depends on whether we're talking about males or men and those are different. I think often the males who happen to be married are having conversations from I I said something um one day that I thought was pretty profound when my wife and I were on stage um uh at a at a conference and I said um I realized that I was constantly trying to fix my wife to accommodate things that were broken in me.

"Yes, man. Man, when 80% of the conversations in this space is not about realigning yourself with who you should be as a man. It's all directed at what the women need to do different. And and and I notice it because every time I almost damn near say anything that men need to change or tighten up on avalanche in the comments. The women aren't worth it. Okay. Well, don't do it for them first of all and don't do it for the wrong women."

"Don't do it for you."

"And then number two, align with women that appreciate it."

"Okay."

"Okay. So, watch this. You you now now you just gave me some more grease."

"So, now we just going to cook with that. So to my sisters who were probably greatly offended by what I was talking about earlier, okay, listen to to your brother, to my brothers, when you say the women aren't worth it, what you probably mean to say is the women that you attract are not worth it."

"And if you want to attract a different type, now watch this. I'm not going to disagree with you."

"The women that you are or let's watch this. If we got males versus men, guess what else we got? Females versus women."

"So maybe you are attracting females. And if you want to attract a woman, What you need to do is you need to become more of a man."

"And when they when they say like I try to explain it to guys and it's like and when you do that, you'll find yourself almost getting turned off and not even want to entertain any"

"Yeah."

"Female that's not walking as and moving as a lady."

"Oh man, YOU YOU CAN'T EVEN STOMACH THAT. YOU."

"I can't even be I can't even be around that nonsense."

"Man, that's it."

"I can't even be around that nonsense. If you talking crazy, if you if you if you shaming me, if you competing with me, you are in your feminine stage and you are welcome to do all of that without me."

"Just not with me. That's it. That's it."

"Please go Please go do that. AND PLEASE GO DO IT SOMEPLACE ELSE. I've even tried to explain to guys because you know I've had Jazz and other different ladies and different people you know I've interacted with on they like oh this person that person and I'm trying to explain to them like when you move in the way in which you're supposed to. Even some of the ladies that everybody says are so crazy and so so disrespectful. I noticed they don't do that to me."

"Period. I don't ever get that. I don't ever brother I don't ever get that energy. They are reacting to the male or the man they see in you."

"No. No. Let me tell you something. I work out five days a week."

"In my gym, I there are a bunch of females in there. There's a bunch of great women in there, but there's a lot of females in there. You want to know what?"

"Them sisters don't give me none of that energy. When they get around me, I get nothing but queen energy out of them females."

"Hey. Hey. Queen energy out of them females because when I speak to them, first of all, I speak to all of them. My sister, how you doing? You well, you good? You needed anything from me?"

"All the energy I get back from them, supreme woman energy from them."

"95% of what you see on social media that everybody complain about is not actually happening in your world."

"Same with me. I don't even..."

"That's right. I don't even put myself in this space. And mind you, for the last seven years, I was working in the hood, right? So, it ain't like I wasn't in in an environment where"

"exposed to it."

"Come on now."

"And that was just more Philly. Don't don't forget about when we was, you know, I was like, man, I'm just saying like there's something about when guys tap into what you're talking about, the environment shifts, the networking opportunities explode. You're the same. You are the same guy, but the world sees you different."

"Different."

"The world sees you different and now it treats you different. That is"

"No question."

"That's it, man. That's it. So, a couple more questions because I don't want to hold you."

"Hey, dog. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. You're the only one complaining."

"So, so reach over here, grab me some water."

"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. Go ahead."

"Cut to your brother. Let me reach and grab some water."

"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No problem. No problem. Let me just reading the comments real quick. Let me see. Listen, everybody that's currently watching, and if you again, guys, if you can, please make sure that you like and subscribe if you haven't done so. And definitely hit that super chat button if you want me to read a particular comment or question before uh we we close out with our guest. So, unfortunately, I'm going to say this, uh, you know, it's it's been known that you're one of the more good-looking guys in Hollywood. I mean, I ain't used to bringing guys that that can kind of carry this [ __ ] Usually, I'm the better looking guy on the damn panel. It is what it is. And you've been obviously pretty success, very successful in Hollywood. Um, and one of the perks I think that comes with that is your ability to be welcomed into women's spaces and platforms to be able to have these type of conversations. What are things women don't know, undervalue, or misunderstand about men that can actually damage or wreck relationships?"

"Oh, wow. I think um one I I don't know if they if if it's about them not knowing or not taking seriously."

"Mhm."

"Uh, but first of all, I think what what has really happened earlier we were talking about the the the demonization of of men in particular black men. But what we really need to to talk about is the dehumanization, okay, of black men. And the reason why I bring that up is because I said to you earlier that I'm a human being first. You can hurt me, my sister, by speaking to me a certain way. by disrespecting me, by not loving on me. I love on my sisters every single day by when I go to the grocery store and I see a sister by herself. First thing I do is say, 'My sister, how you doing? You good? You need anything? If you need anything, you come and see your brother. If I'm in here, I got you.'"

"Right? That is loving on my sister. And I'm not trying to pick nobody up. Like I said, I've been I've been married for 28 years and I'm good."

"That's looking out for my sister. That's loving on my sister like a like a big brother."

"I think the things that our sisters overlook in us is how much we what's interesting is that we keep hearing from our sisters how they don't need no man. Thank you. Thank you. We can we can sit right. Let's let's let's lay in the plane and stay right there. They"

"You are never that."

"You keep telling me how you don't need me. But you don't ever hear you don't ever hear a man ever say he don't need a woman. And and of course we're not talking about sexuality. So everybody let's grow up now. Let's be we're talking about heterosexually speaking. You don't ever hear a man say he don't need no woman."

"No. No. No. And and"

"Why? You know why?"

"Cuz we're not competing with you."

"There you go. It was never..."

"We're not competing with you."

"No."

"Listen, let me tell you something. As a man, I need my woman. Same s same because I don't know when this started like this foolishness I need my wife."

"It's ridiculous dog this and guess what guess what if my wife decided to bump her head and one day think she don't need me no more and she decided to move on. I bless her. I bless her cuz guess what? In no time. In absolutely no time, I'm gonna have a woman in my corner. And you want to know why?"

"Because I'm a man. And I am a man of service."

"Yeah."

"And I'm a man who honors women. So in absolutely no time flat"

"People saying be careful now brother be careful now."

"I know what you mean I I know what you mean though."

"In no time flat I will be partnered again. Why? Because I need a woman."

"I'm a man."

"Watch this. And everybody will take this in the way of I need a woman because I need to have sex. Yeah. As like any healthy heterosexual man, I want to be physically intimate. But above and beyond that, let me let me give let me give you this. The reason why I need my woman is this."

"I have blind spots as a man."

"Yeah. Yeah."

"Okay."

"My woman is designed to see my blind spots as I am designed to see hers."

"Y."

"I'm a smart man. I know that I need to walk in partnership."

"Y."

"Brother, right now we sitting HERE, WE TALKING. WE WALK WE WE DOING THIS IN PARTNERSHIP."

"YEP."

"You understand?"

"FACTS."

"YOU GOT SKILL SETS. I GOT SKILL SETS. WE COME TOGETHER. WE CRUSH THIS like superheroes."

"Yeah."

"My woman is my partner and we both walk as superheroes."

"And a part of her superhero skills is that she sees my blind spots like I see her blind spots. That's what makes us a great partnership."

"Yeah."

"If I'm facing no, watch this. I as a as a coach of many couples, I will sit with couples and there'll always be one couple and and and they'll come in and there's a a person who will sit there and say, 'I don't think I could do this no more because they don't see things the way I see them.'"

"And I go, 'Amen.'"

"Because if I'm looking north and my wife is, we're not walking side by side."

"Yeah."

"We're back to back. We got each other's back. So if I'm looking north, my wife is facing south."

"You got me? So she can see what's in my blind spot. I can see what's in her blind spot. We both can see east and west. But what makes us a great partnership is she sees what I can't see. I see what I can't see. If the both of us are facing north, we gonna get run over by the train that's coming from the south."

"Yep. Yep. You understand?"

"Facts."

"So, like I said, if my wife was to leave me, no. Hey, look here. Now, what? Of course, my heart is going to be fractured."

"Yeah."

"But God is going to send me an appropriate partner. In order for me to have my my my my the vision of my blind spot. And that vision is gonna come from a lovely vision sent to me by God in a feminine space to make sure that I get the supplements that I need."

"I'm going to tell you this, that statement that you mentioned at the beginning when it comes to what's something that women don't truly get or understand. I think there's a percentage of them that truly don't get and understand what that looks and sounds like when they say, 'I don't need a man.' I'm going to give this analogy."

"First of all, even before I give the analogy, I almost never hear women reference anything else in their life that they value that they say they don't need. There's nothing else that if anything that women value, they makeup, nails, first of all, if you married, they say, how do they describe what they want to pay for? Oh, I need that. I need that. They won't say that about their kids. They won't say that about their job. They will not say that about anything that they find of value. But then when it comes to men, they say this, and this is how I'm going this is the analogy I'm going to do."

"Job interview. You you went to school, you got the degree, you you did the certification, whatever, and now you finally make it to the job interview. You bring your CV, your resume, you slide it on over to the job recruiter or the hiring manager. You sit through the entire interview and you answer and say everything they want to hear. And then right at the end when they say, 'So, do you have any else you want to say? Any questions? Any remarks?' And you say out your mouth something that blows my mind. And you're sitting across from the hiring manager. They ask you any final words. And you say, 'Ah, I appreciate the interview. Thank you for taking your time. Uh, but just to let you know, I don't need this job. I want it, but I don't need this job. Listen, listen. Look at all the effort I put into it. You know, I came'"

"Yo, what's the odds? What's the odds"

"That zero zero zero?"

"I don't need this job. Why would..."

"It sounds insane to say that at a job interview, but they say that in front of men and on social media every day."

"It don't sound insane. It is insane. Okay. So, watch this. Earlier, what do we talk about? We talked about the power of manifestation."

"Yes."

"Right."

"I said speak out loud what you want. They speak it out loud every day. I DON'T NEED NO MAN. GUESS WHAT? YOU AIN'T GONNA GET NO MAN."

"YOU gonna get a male at best. No, you. Hey, listen. At best."

"At best. Because no self-respecting man wants to be with a woman that doesn't see him as an essential need."

"Okay, watch this. My bro, listen. You now we we talking the same language, my bro."

"There you go."

"My sisters, listen to me very carefully. The quickest way for you to lose your man, if you have one, is to tell him or show him that you don't need him. Cuz men don't stay in no spaces where we are not needed."

"Now, watch this."

"Mhm."

"I'm not telling you this to say that guys have a past to do this when in this position. I'm explaining to you how the mind of males and men work."

"Yep."

"When I talk to or co when I'm coaching a sister who's been cheated on, I ask her, 'Describe for me the woman who your man cheated on you with.'"

"And she says, 'What do you mean?'"

"I said, 'You you know what I mean? When you saw her, what did you say?'"

"You said, 'I can't believe he cheated on me with that.'"

"And she's like, 'That's true.' Cuz she I said, 'Now, Freeze, let's have a conversation now about what that is. What is that? What does that represent?'"

"I'mma tell you what that represents. What that represents represented to him was I need you. I can't wait for you to be here. I find great value in you. I honor you. I rejoice in your presence. There is a certain joy when you come around. That is the feeling that he got which is why he gravitated toward that. So watch this my sisters. Listen very carefully. He didn't choose her over you. He chose the experience that he had here over the experience that he's had here."

"Brother, you in dangerous territory now."

"I listen, let me tell you something. Hey, please please please come for me because here's what you get. Dave Dave Chappelle said something to me. He goes, 'They drag me on Twitter.'"

"He said, 'And I don't give a damn cuz Twitter's not a real place.'"

"You can say whatever you want to say. What did I say earlier? YOU COULD CALL ME A LOT OF THINGS, but you can't call me inaccurate and you can't call me a liar."

"Yeah. My sister, as your big brother, I'm serving you nutrients on a plate that you can digest."

"I'm not telling you that your man deserves to cheat on you."

"I'm sharing with you that what a man chooses is an experience. And if you are choosing to remain partnered with a MAN THAT YOU FIND VALUABLE, I'M NOT TELLING YOU TO STAY WITH A MALE, get rid of a male, get with a man. And the way that you attract a man, and the way that you keep a man is by giving him an experience of showing him that he is valued. And the wild thing is it doesn't take nearly as much as as they're told it does because now because you know when they've been hurt they've been told so much about being a wife and a mother is now slavery is now oppression"

"bro let me tell you"

"and I'm like bro we got a top four or five list and if you hit two or three of those consistently it ain't that hard."

"Okay let me let me let me just shoot it to you straight up."

"Yeah."

"And if my wife was sitting right next to me, she would tell you. She'd be like, 'Yep, that's basically it.'"

"I talked about the three Ps earlier, right? In terms of masculinity, that wasn't manhood, right? The pecs, penis, paper."

"Mhm."

"Now, I'm going to tell you about the other three Ps. That's really all that we need, right? Honestly speaking, I I if if you"

"Let's put it in some language where everybody can digest."

"Okay,"

"My sisters, I've heard women say, 'Well, I don't cook all that well.' Because you say, you know, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Mhm."

"Your man don't care whether you made that meal."

"He He really don't. If he's petty, he do. But at at the end of the day, I just want a meal."

"You read that joint. You from Philly. You You know about"

"John. Now, hold on. Now, now, now this where we going to deviate. You ain't gonna be Now, I'm gonna say for me, I am petty. I"

I am gonna make sure I my wife. I I went to a cooking family, so that that was a requirement for me. And I was like, I don't I don't date women that I don't know can cook. So that was just I was just don't mind me. Continue though.

Okay. So watch this. Watch this. Let let me let me let me further drill down on it.

Yeah.

We need three pieces. A piece of food, peace of mind, and a piece of you. Yeah. Yeah. Peace of food. Peace of mind. Peace of you.

Piece of food. Look, I I don't I don't have nothing to do with Jeff. Jeff could be as petty as he want. Just give me a piece of food. If you if you Uber Eats that junk and it's hot, I love you, babe. Feed feed me. Just because that's all that is is care. I don't care about that. Jeff Jeff's journey is Jeff's journey. Don't forget Jeff in the comments.

Well, you know why? 'Cause Jeff ain't got that Hollywood salary. So that's the reason why I ain't going to be Uber Eats three times a day. That's the only reason why. If I had the money, I would I would have a personal chef. Yeah. But at the end of the day, what we really are talking about, look, I need a piece of food. Give me a piece of my piece of mind. Look, you you know what I hate about the time that we're in right now? My sisters, I want you to hear this. Your man hears all day long out in the world how he's not enough.

What he can't continue to stomach in his own house?

Mhm. Is that he is not enough.

Yeah.

Let me tell you something. First of all, let's let's let me just say this. If you are with a man who is constantly and consistently underperforming, the problem is him, but the other problem is you, 'cause you chose him. You didn't inherit him.

Nobody forced this dude on to you.

You chose every part of underperformance, which is now a bigger statement about you than it is him.

Yes.

Say whatever you want to say about me on Twitter. I don't care about that. Twitter's not a real place. I don't care whether you mad at me or not.

I love you. This is your big brother talking.

Now, watch this. Let's drill down a little further.

It's almost ridiculous to hear that men are constantly underperforming and then here we don't matter.

Hello. Hello. So make the math. The math ain't math.

The math ain't math.

The math ain't math.

Uhhuh.

If if you don't need no man.

Mhm. That includes everything we do and bring to the table because you don't need us. Period.

How can we be underperforming?

My god.

Why? Why? Why? If you don't need no man, why would it even be necessary to critique my performance? Oh my god. This is Oh, this is good stuff. I'm I'm taking notes, brother. Keep it going.

If you don't need no man, why would it be necessary to critique my performance? You don't need me.

Yep. Yep. I never thought about that.

You don't need me. So why are you critiquing my performance? Watch this. Watch this.

Mhm.

I drew this analogy one day of talking about basketball. The only people whose performances you're going to critique are the people who are the players who can impact the outcome of the game.

Facts. Facts.

Hello. Is this mic? You you you you don't care about the stats of the guy that's third string off the bench who ain't even going to get no playing time. The dude that ain't going to get no playing time. You are not critiquing his performance. Why? Because he is not going to impact the outcome of this game.

My god. My god. Your when your words and your actions don't line up like my sisters, I love you from your big brother. I love you even if you don't love me. I don't care how you feel about this. You can only critique the performance of a player who you know impacts the outcome of a game.

Man, they they the loudest ones about needing to desenter men are the ones that talk about men all the time. Brother, I'm telling once you see it, you can't unsee this. The girl math, brother.

Stop playing, bro. Stop playing, bro.

I don't care how you feel about it, y'all. Only talking about how I'm underperforming because you know I am not optional, I am necessary, man.

Stop it now. Stop complaining about what that this brother is underperforming because again, if he's underperforming and he's constantly and consistently underperforming, now we got to talk about you because you attracted him and you chose him, man.

So, watch this.

Mhm.

If you are still with a man who is constantly and consistently underperforming, we need to talk about your underperformance 'cause you are underperforming in the area of choosing a man and intuition that we keep saying is there and brother a brother you on fire now. You I got two more questions for you. I want to call me a lot of things. What they can't call me is inaccurate or a liar. Ah, this gonna be good. This what editing team, y'all better get ready for these clips. Y'all better be get ready for these clips because my my sisters, I love y'all.

Many men in general, especially online, discuss a lot about not needing, liking, or seeing the benefits of going to uh therapy. And even as a therapist, um I'm actually the first to acknowledge a lot of limitations um of therapy and that all therapists are not equal. And there's also a lot of therapists that just flat out ain't good. And I think there's a lot of therapists and this includes men and women that are therapists that I think don't actually understand the unique needs and challenges of boys and men. Um and even even what m what actual masculinity is. So, what are your thoughts about men engaging in therapy and what type of therapist should men be willing to seek out if they do?

Well, first of all, as a as a coach for many men and I don't have a degree, so I am not a therapist, but I can coach you into this area about manhood because that part does not require a degree.

Yeah.

If they need a therapist, I will be sending them in your direction.

Mhm.

My brothers, when you are seeking out a therapist, if you are seeking out a coach in this area, what I want you to do is I would love for you to choose someone who is actually living the life that you desire to live. It is extremely difficult for someone to lead you someplace that they are not. If I am a pilot or excuse me, if I desire to become a pilot, I am not going to seek out a cab driver to teach me how to become a pilot.

Yeah.

Educated money would have me choose a pilot that can move me in a space that I desire to be because I aspire to be who you already are. So all of our brothers need to all of our brothers need to seek out because we all are either broken in an area, misinformed in an area, uh mis uh uh without instruction in specific areas. So, we all need guidance in these areas in order to receive information and instruction in order for us to get to the the better version of ourselves. So, whether that's seeking out a a a therapist like Jeff St. James or seeking out a coach like DA Andre Woodfield, wherever that is, we need to have some area of accountability where we we receive information and instruction in specific areas of our life that allows us to come to the better version of ourselves. Period. And point blank.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It I 100% agree because the men that think that they don't need an audit are the ones that always fail it. Oh my god, bro.

Come on now. Like the men,

I don't think you need no work. You need work.

And lifting barbells isn't going to show you how to be a better man with women in your life.

Not at all, my bro. And watch this. I work out with many of those brothers in the gym that say, you know, I use this at therapy. I'm like, it's it's a therapeutic component.

It's it's therapeutic.

Yeah.

It's not therapy.

Yes. Yeah.

We got to seek out specific spaces for that.

How does doing chin-ups help you with better communication, bro?

Come on now. Like,

you need to tell me we gonna sit here and and and and get to this bench pressing and now all of a sudden that's supposed to heal my communication skills with my wife.

Work, man.

Facts. Facts. I appreciate that. And and last uh question on my um two questions on my end. one um uh throughout your career, when did you ever feel your lowest when most of the public had no idea? And what caused you to when what caused you to feel that way or even how did you get out of it?

Yeah, I is it's basically what I what I talked about earlier when I when I said that acting is my my passion. And while I got job after job, here's the here's the the the sick portion about all of this.

Mhm.

When you find what your passion is in life and you get to those. So, as an actor, it'll be a new job, a new television show, new film, all of that. And you'll get recognition for being, you know, all parts of of of of everything you are as a performer.

Mhm.

And you think that what you're experiencing is happiness, but really what it is is shots of dopamine impersonating happiness. I'mma say that again.

Mhm.

You get to all of these get these accolades and these accomplishments in your chosen passion. And all of those things are simply shots of dopamine impersonating happiness. And then all of a sudden, you sit there and you go, "Why do I still feel empty?" And this is well into your career.

Well into and I'm talking about Emmy nominations uh uh you know so you're getting a you you're you're getting accolades, right? And then you're you're uh going to different tax brackets and you know and and and you're getting you know better jobs or bigger jobs and all of those things and then you find yourself sitting there going why do I still feel so empty? Because by and large everything that you've done so far has mostly served you. Your passion serves you, but your purpose serves others.

Brother, brother, I'm going to be quoting you on what I'm working on. I'll be letting you know that now. What time is it? 2011. Bar at 2011. At 20 seconds exactly. Okay. I just wrote down about three different Okay, brother. I'mma quote you. Don't worry about it. I'mma quote you. Oh, your passion, your passion is what serves you, but your purpose is what serves others.

Bingo. And watch this. If you believe, now watch this.

If you are a divine being who believes in a divine creator,

Yeah. There's no way that that divine creator sent you here to serve yourself.

There's no way that that divine creator sent you here to serve yourself and hoard all of the things that you gather for yourself.

Wow. Wow.

A divine creator would create a divine being to do what? To be of service.

Yes.

Because because that is divine.

So you are only feeling sustainable happiness and peace when you are being in service to others.

Man, brother, this is a sidebar question. Uh you ever thought about whether you supposed to been in ministry all this time?

Bro, this is my ministry.

You're right. You know what? Yeah, man.

I'm a godly man. I believe in the in the divine creator and I know how, you know, it's funny because as a godly man, uh I on on several occasions I I have been invited to that. And I also know that there is a limitation to the amount of ears that will hear me if I perform my ministry there behind the pulpit.

Yeah.

But if I perform my ministry here, literally facts. Facts. And I and crazy is I've literally had to come to reconcile with that as well.

Yes, sir.

At like and now mind you just imagine so instead of it being pastor versus what you're doing now for me it was being a just a regular local therapist to getting behind the microphone and I was doing it for years but then it's like when I got on the microphone bro I just cleared 5 million channel views and I'm like I think this is what I'm supposed to be doing and Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like realizing it now and I'm like this you're totally telling the truth that the this realm it's it's night and day.

Final question I've been wanting and I and this is something that I each time I do an interview I always try to think of a question that I'm not sure people have ever really probably ever been asked during an interview. Um if you could speak to your younger child self, what would you tell Dre?

Um, I would tell myself that everything that I am saying out loud is actually going to manifest um my reality in the future 'cause I had no idea what I was doing at the time.

Mhm.

Um, and not necessarily to seek people who are well, but to seek people who are seeking wellness and surround yourself with those people who are committed to seeking that wellness. Because sometimes, you know, we say to ourselves, well, you want to be around people who, you know, who are who are whole, and how often are you going to be around people who are who are whole, but

you gonna be alone.

You're going to be by yourself.

Yeah.

Right. So, the idea is to seek people who are seeking uh health and wholeness, seeking wellness, right? That that really is the idea. And to all of my uh young brothers who are out there that know that just I want them to know that, you know, I've been talking about purpose, right? And many people ask me on a on a pretty regular basis, fairly regular basis. You you came into your purpose, but how did you know how to do that? How did you come into that? We live in a society, we live in a world that is constantly telling you to avoid everything that is painful.

Mhm.

What I want you to know is that your pain is actually the thing that will inform your purpose. My father went to prison for manslaughter when I was 13 years old. My father kidnapped me when I was six years old from my mother. Not having my father be the navigation system for my manhood was extremely painful.

Yeah.

I lost my best friend in a motorcycle accident. And I really and truly believe that in my heart of hearts, it was because rather than stay and look out for him, I went seeking my pleasure and didn't look after him. And he never made it out of that space. And he lost his life that day, leaving behind a wife and two children. And the pain behind my guilt and him losing his life that day and me not and me abandoning my post. Take care of him. That kind of pain propelled my purpose about manhood because I wasn't displaying it that day. So, what I want all of our younger brothers to know is that whatever you're most in pain about is probably your purpose. So, the thing that you keep running from is the thing that you should be running to.

Yeah.

That really is what I would tell myself, but that I want all of our younger brothers to know. Yeah. Don't run from the thing that you're most in pain about. Run toward the thing that you're most in pain about because it's going to propel your purpose. And that purpose is going to bring you sustainable happiness and peace.

Man, I thoroughly enjoyed this. This went longer than I had anticipated. And I know I know

I know who's going to be here.

I know we are absolutely going to be working together for sure. Is there any particular projects or things that you're working on that you would like people to know about and where they can uh support you?

Yeah, I am. I'm working on uh as I talked about, I'm working on my my next book which is about purpose. Um I'll be done uh I'll be done pretty soon and believe me, you'll you'll hear about that when it's out. Matter of fact, I'm I'm going to come back so we can talk about it.

Right. And uh and I also plan on touring a um a one-man show about purpose throughout the country. So

one way to be.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. Okay.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Am honored and I really really appreciate you stopping by and and christening this space. So now I'm Hollywood official. I'm Hollywood with y'all. Ask a brother podcast is now Hollywood official.

Yeah, man. Um I I I genuinely respect and appreciate that you stepped into this space and that you're a man that's despite all that's around you. you the most important thing to you is what I'm trying to push in this space on my end which is it doesn't matter all the things that you can obtain if the people around you feel like they can't trust you and they think you don't have any integrity.

That's right.

And as a guy who in in in in various previous iterations of myself didn't always have that or see why that's so important now, now I get it.

Now I get it. And um I I appreciate the fact that you are doing what you're doing. So best believe when you need those those projects with the different things you got going on just let me know and and I will I will be pulling up. So I appreciate you time brother.

you this is uh this is how brothers are supposed to treat each other. I love you and we we got to have each other's back.

Um we got to we got to be there to support each other no matter what. Um, and to be the immovable uh object that the world has to know uh is going to be there. If they come for you, they got to come for me, too.

I appreciate that. So, everybody that's currently watching, make sure that you follow this brother on on social media, especially on Instagram. He always cooking. He always going viral every time you get on different platforms. and and when y'all, you know, if you haven't checked out some of his films, if this is the first time that you're meeting him, first of all, it's going to take you at least about a month and a half to watch everything he got because he been he been on everything. Um, but genuinely, bro, thank you. And, um, I can't wait to work can't wait to work with you again.

Likewise, my bro got to do it.

All righty. All right. Take it easy.

Yes, sir, fam.

All right, y'all. So, listen. that was um there's the there's the side of you where you visualize things, you can see it in your head, and then there's the reality of when it actually happens. And for about nine months now, that's been happening. that things that I've thought about or people I see on the screen, as strange as it sounds, this type of stuff happens. And um you know, I don't know what my ultimate true purpose is. I I feel like I'm in the ballpark with doing this particular platform and and bringing in the perspectives and the voices and and challenging a lot of things that I think are broken in our culture, in our society. And um it's moments like this that lets me know that there's confirmation that, you know, God wants me doing this. I made a lot of sacrifices to switch over from just doing full-time therapy to doing this. And um you know, there's there's been moments there's been doubts and week after week, month after month um the doubling, tripling, quadrupling down of confirmation from something other than myself has been staggering. And um I appreciate it. I appreciate everybody who's gotten us to this point at 5 million channel views and 50,000 subscribers literally in the same time period. And I have no idea what this channel is going to turn into a year or two or even 5 years from now. I just know that today I think I'm supposed to be doing this. So, how you can support? Hey, please like this video if you haven't done so. If you're not a subscriber, what you waiting on? And um you know, feel free to become a member of course. And then last but not least, can you share it? Um I think every boy and man and male needs to probably have listened to this type of conversation. And um I'm going to do what I can to share it on my end. And for everybody that's been a loyal uh consistent supporter and and shout out, I'm already seeing it, man. Thank you, Miss Maggie. You you're one of the people who the way you do it. I'm trying to remember, you know, when I move in this space like how how would Miss Maggie feel and thank you for the the super chat and for the 40. Thank you genuinely. Um yeah, I'm I don't know, man. I'm on a I'm on a mental high right now. uh the last few weeks between the men's table, the original content, the different guests that's been coming on. It's um it's kind of scary because I don't know why this is happening. I just know I'm supposed to be here doing this. And um thank you. I said it before, man. And I said it before, man. When you got a dream and you got a vision and only you got it here and nobody else can see it. Nobody else can see it but you, man. It's um I just got it in here, man. I know what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to speak truth and bring truth into places that's often not welcome. That's what I think I'm here for. And there's been consequences. There's been sacrifices and the confirmations again and again, man, it's um it makes it worth it, but at the same time, it's it's hard to know that you're waiting for something to manifest that you're currently not experiencing and only you can see it up in here. And um I'm grateful. I'm honored. I say it again. I'm not perfect. I I have my fair share of flaws, but I think um I think I'm supposed to be here doing exactly what I'm doing now. So, thank you genuinely. I know a lot of people who gave up on dreams. I know a lot of people who never even started. And um you know me being able to try and do something that I knew wasn't popular that I knew a lot of people I knew wasn't going to be a fan of and starting to see the slow wheels of people starting to see oh I guess it is kind of I'm not bitter. I'm not angry. I'm at peace. And I hope that this is an aspect of the manosphere that maybe people constantly complain about. I'm trying to take what the complaints are and take my general observations and then trying to help transform the space. I am not Kevin Samuels and I'm not trying to be. So the you know the tee or the the Walmart version of Kevin Samuels, he was his own guy. I am making my own lane. I'm not trying to be Angry Man. I'm not trying to be Obsidian. I'm not trying to be uh uh CGA. I'm not trying to be like anyone. I'm trying to be me. And with your support and building this the way that we are, um I think I'm doing that. So, everybody who is a supporter, everybody who's a hater, everybody who watches, who shares, thank you. Thank you. So, um you know, that's it for this week 'cause your boy is tired and um I'll hit the ground running starting next week. And like I said before, um we're going to have two surprise guests pulling up. Uh one for the men's table and one for an individual interview. and I may potentially get one or even two original episodes out as well next week. So, thank you all for the support and just letting you guys know as we continue to build, we're going to hopefully try to expand things and every dollar helps. If you're a member, you already supporting. If you hit that super chat, love that support and um just thank you genuinely. So, listen y'all have a good evening and I hope that this conversation was dope, helpful, and um in the end, I hope I'm making a difference. That's it. So, thank you all for your time and um you know, Lord willing, I'll see y'all next week. Peace.