Transcription
Ryan: This is the loneliest house in the world. Oh, it's so lonely. No! There are tons of conspiracy theories around it. Like...like some people think a billionaire built this place in case of a zombie apocalypse. Some people think it's like, a religious cult. But most people just wanna move here and get away from their problems.
Emma (man voice): Don't be surprised if one day I just...
Ryan: No. But on a real note: this trip is said to be extremely dangerous. And locals say: you'd have to be stupid to try to go with no experience. Which really only leaves one man for this job. Hello, hello! Clearly, I'm not prepared for a country named Iceland. Basically, I'm taking a taxi to a ferry. That ferry is gonna drop me off at an island. And from that island, I'm going to the island with the loneliest house in the world on it. I made it. Lunar ma lunar.
Ryan: Did I say that right? Sort of a celebratory...
Phone: Hairy melons.
Ryan: Oh, dear! It is so cold. I'm wearing shorts. I'm meeting a man named like, Bjarni or something. I don't know how to pronounce his name. Okay, I'm moving a little fast here, so let me explain! In 2017, a man named Bjarni uploaded this YouTube video. He explores the island and the house and everything, but he's only speaking Icelandic. So I reached out to him and he actually responded. And he said he would take me to the island and make me juicy steaks. So that's about all the information I'm pulling up with. And this is Bjarni. How do you pronounce your name?
Bjarni: "Bjarni".
Ryan: "Bear knee".
Bjarni: "Bjarni".
Ryan: "Bertney".
Bjarni: Yeah.
Ryan: So he shows me the boat we're going to be leaving on to go to the island in treacherous waters, might I add.
Guys: Oh! That's a pretty large boat! Not bad. He should be fine on the water.
Ryan: It's the small one.
Bjarni: You get in front of the boat and you jump.
Ryan: Are you serious?
Bjarni: Yes. There's no...there's no pier or coshi.
Ryan: Oh!
Bjarni: This is raw nature.
Ryan: Oh, my gosh!
Bjarni: Oh!
Ryan: "Byart ney".
Bjarni: Yow.
Ryan: Bjarni just gave me a bunch of clothes, because I wasn't prepared. Oh! Ready. I feel deathly sick to my stomach right now. Not sure if it's because I ate 2 bags of Icelandic candy, I haven't pooped in 48 hours, or...I'm so scared right now. Can I just say that? And we're going in 10 minutes.
Bjarni: Hi!
Ryan: Alright. Oh! It's a cinematic shot. I gotta get the camera.
Bjarni: Of course, of course.
Ryan: It's...So, just for the record, we're not taking this boat.
Ryan: We're taking that one.
Bjarni: Yeah, the small one.
Ryan: Hi!
Ragnar: Hey! How are you doing?
Ryan: Ryan.
Ragnar: Ragnar.
Ryan: Ragnar? His name is Ragnar. My life is in the hands of a man who is 100% not afraid of anything. This dude probably eats fear for breakfast. The dark is afraid of him.
Bjarni: He'll drive like crazy.
Ryan: Are you serious?
Man: And you will be sh***ing yourself on the way out.
Joi: It's not a good sailing weather.
Ryan: Ah! Love to hear that. The Icelandic ocean is literally freezing. And I also can't swim. So they give us this life vest that gives you...
Joi: 1 hour to live in wintertime.
Joi: Iceland cold.
Ryan: Ah, okay.
Joi: 1 minute if you are not.
Ryan: Thank you!
Joi: Okay.
Ryan: I couldn't really fly my drone, so I found some free stock footage to, like, portray my experience on the boat to the island. So I just cut back and forth between... I just remembered I forgot to put on my goggles.
Ryan: These are yours.
Bjarni: Oh, yeah.
Bjarni: Yeah, man.
Ryan: Alright. Ah! I'm terrified. So this is the part of the video, where I can never really illustrate how scared I am. And, like, just how dangerous this is for someone like me, who has no experience doing anything. But I have to jump off of this boat over the icy, deathly waters. I hope I don't fall.
Ragnar: Ready...ready... Jump!
Ryan: This is insane. So this is the part where we actually climb up the mountain. We're around here.
Ragnar: You go first.
Ryan: Okay.
Ragnar: And I'll be behind you.
Ryan: Okay.
Ragnar: Always one hand on the rope.
Ryan: Okay.
Ragnar: Great. Just go nice and easy! Go your pace!
Ryan: So the camera ends up dying. So I'm just gonna do a quick Photoshop example of what actually happened. So we're climbing up this rope at a very steep angle. I'm terrified. Bjarni's just talking about juicy steak. Ragnar is like...Ragnar. He's like a Pokemon or something, I don't know. We're climbing up the mountain. We're climbing up the mountain. And at this point, I started getting ahead of Ragnar and Bjarni, and they're like: "Ryan, slow down!". And I'm like: "Hey, guys! I can't hear you". Ragnar is like: "Ryan, watch out!". And that is the exact moment. I slip and fall into the ocean. And then I levitate out of the water on a...on a flying shark. The shark...the shark also asked for my go... for the goggles. The orange ones. That was just part of the transaction. We're flying, we're flying. We're flying around the island. He takes me over here. He takes me over there. Bjarni can't believe his eyes. Finally, he drops me off right at the top of the mountain. He gives me my goggles back and he leaves. So now you're caught up. I regret this. And there's a lonely house on the other side of this mountain. And I've got 2 Icelandic dudes to share it with.
Ryan: We made it.
Bjarni & Ragnar: We made it.
Ryan: So we made it to the loneliest house in the world. But I can't forget why I'm here. I need to find out who owns this place. How did they build it? How long could you survive here without leaving? The steaks are high, and they are juicy. Hopefully. I hope that's happening still. So I'm the 11,260...11,265th person to step foot in this house.
Bjarni: Yeah. There's some snack here. Some small steaks.
Ryan: Juicy.
Bjarni: Yeah.
Ryan: This is the dining and sitting area.
Bjarni: Enjoy, my friend!
Ragnar: Everything that's here, was carried up by hand.
Ryan: Like, how we climbed up.
Ragnar: Yep.
Ryan: Oh, my gosh!
Ragnar: Every nail, every wood, every stick. Everything was carried up.
Ryan: I'm in the bedroom right now. I got this shot earlier. This is what it looks like. I can't believe we're... Where am I? This place is lonelier than an Instagram model in 2013. Like...Okay. Alright. I'm sorry if that was even remotely offensive to any sort of demographic or community. Bjarni said he's making some coffee and some pancakes in the morning, so don't mind me if I just teleport to the future, right?
Morning! A brief lesson on the animals of the Lonely Island. Sheep. Puffin. Seals. A handsome guy. So we're about to eat. But the fog just disappeared for, like, 15 minutes. It's already back. I was able to snag some pictures, make some TikToks.
Emma (man voice): Don't be surprised if one day I just...
Ryan: I found it! Let's go eat breakfast!
Ryan: Alright.
Bjarni: Yeah.
Ryan: Breakfast is served.
Ragnar: Looking good.
Ryan: This looks really good. So the time has finally come. I've built up the confidence to ask if a billionaire owns this place. And why this house is all by itself here. And Bjarni's answer was: that it's not. So this was the first loneliest house in the world. And that's the new one. So this isn't that lonely. There's...there's 2 houses. Oh, my gosh! Bjarni says that most people think this place was built for bird scientists to study the famous puffins.
Bjarni: The bird scientist...they keep their stuff here. 6-12 guys stayed here.
Ryan: Really?
Bjarni: Yeah.
Ryan: But that's pretty much all he can tell me. So I'm gonna go look for Jeff Bezos in the pantry. This is the pantry. How many days do you guys think you could survive off of this food right here?
Ragnar: About a week, I would think.
Ryan: A week? This is the workshop?
Ragnar: Yeah. So pretty much here we have paints for the window and all kind of tools, because there's no hardware store in Italy. So we pretty much have everything.
Ryan: This is the bathroom. Come on in! Got a sink here. Toothpaste. A mirror with a handsome guy in it. A shower. Nice toilet. Haven't used it yet, which...you know... You know what I'm talking about. 48 hours. Yeah, that's still happening. Um...And then out of nowhere, Ragnar got a call from the sailor back home that the seas are pretty calm right now, and we should probably leave. Otherwise, we might be stuck here for another week. And my flight leaves tomorrow, so... Well, one thing's for sure. I know where I'm going in a zombie apocalypse. Thanks, guys! Thanks, guys! I'm not constipated anymore.