Transcription
Welcome back to Pearl Media, where truth meets perspective. Today we're diving into another classic Kevin Samuels moment. Let's get into it.
>> Hello,
>> Kevin.
>> Oh, it's two of us.
>> Yes.
>> Hold on.
>> Oh, hello Kevin.
>> Are you Mina?
>> Yes.
>> Hold on. Hold on, Mina. I'm gonna come right back to you. Okay.
>> You are okay.
>> I'm come right back to you. I'll tell Hey Tiff, how are you? How are you?
>> I am well. How old are you?
>> I'm sorry. Can you repeat that?
>> Say, how old are you?
>> I am 28.
All right. We're talking about these taboo topics. Are you single or are you married?
>> I am single.
>> All right. Uh, any children?
>> Three.
>> Oh, damn. You've been working.
>> Yes. Yes. Yes.
>> How many How many fathers?
>> I'm not going to lie. Three. Wow.
I'm always fascinated when I hear one with three kids, but why just how did how does that happen?
>> Um, honestly, I'm going to I'm I'm a I'm going to chop it up to my personal childhood.
>> Okay.
>> Uh, I had both parents, not really involved, not the proper guidance, and when it came to decision making, I didn't have the best decision making uh experiences. I will be honest, my kids are a good bit apart in age range. So I have a 9year-old, fouryear-old, and then an 11month-old. So it wasn't back to back.
>> It was space, but uh yeah.
So what I mean, okay, so three kids, three different fathers in and by age 60, what do you want life to look like?
>> By age 60? Okay. So, by age 60, I would like to be hopefully retired. Hopefully, I have my businesses established.
>> Um, I have trust funds for my kids.
>> Um, my kids.
>> You said trust funds for your kids.
>> You say trust funds for your kids. Okay. Go ahead.
>> Yeah. Um, I think it's trust funds or like at least some type of insurance for my kids or something where they'll be set if I'm gone.
>> Okay.
>> Pretty much.
>> Okay.
>> Um,
>> kids have already had college paid for it. They're good.
>> Um,
>> I picture myself like living on a beach somewhere or maybe in another country living my best life at 60.
Well, okay. So, trust funds, college businesses, where's all this money going to come from?
>> Well, that's what I'm actually trying to figure out now. Uh, I'm basically interested in becoming my own boss. Um, building my own empire pretty much. I know realistically it's not going to take just me. I know in life, you know, a lot of things are based off of partnerships, networking, things like that. But I want to get to a point where I'm my own boss. I have
Why Why do you want to be your own boss?
>> Okay, good question. Very good question. Um, when it comes to like nineto-five jobs, I've always felt I guess I always felt being in a position of being told what to do and having to like just uh communicate with somebody over me always made me feel like I don't want to have to do that.
So, do you do you realize that everything that you listed out, trust funds, college, businesses, retirement at 60, living your best life, you going to be told to do told what to do by a lot of people.
>> Mhm.
>> You got a lot of different authorities over you.
>> Okay.
>> I'm just saying millionaires have bosses. Billionaires have bosses.
Okay. Um, what kind of business would you would you want to have to to fund all this?
>> So, like I said, well, like I was trying to say, everything is a learning process. And honestly, I'm not sure what's going to really bring me to the top. I know as of right now, I'm in the beginning stages. I have an online boutique setup at the moment. I'm waiting on products to come in, but I'm alo also interested in podcasting and possibly creating courses towards like maybe like financing, budgeting, things of that sort, parenting. It's like a broad
That's a lot of stuff.
>> Yeah.
>> Finance to finance to parenting. So, did you go to college?
>> I'm currently in college, actually.
>> You're 27. 28.
>> 28. So, what state do you live in?
>> I'm in Louisiana.
So, what kind of what kind of annual income do you think you would need to uh to live their lifestyle?
>> As far as like
>> Yeah. How much money you going to need? Yeah. Yeah. Everything that you say you want. You have three kids. You want them to have college and trust funds and you want to businesses, you travel, retire. How much money you think you going to need to make a year? Cuz that's it's pretty pretty uh pretty broad life.
>> Yeah. Annually, I'm thinking maybe like maybe 250 to 500K.
>> Okay. And how many So if you split the difference, that's 300 and something thousand a year.
>> Yeah.
>> By yourself. What percentage of women in this country make that amount of money?
>> I'mma be honest and say I really don't know, but I would like to know.
>> You're you're in you're like around half a percent.
>> Okay.
>> Onetenth of 1%. And what kind of what kind of professions uh pay that kind of money consistently?
>> Professions. So like as far Okay. Um
>> yeah. to make $300 some thousand a year. What what what would a woman need to do?
>> Uh well, a doctor obviously or at least close to that amount.
>> Lawyers.
>> Um business owners like
>> what kind of business?
>> H real estate. Real estate can
>> real estate real estate salesperson or real estate is broad. People often say real estate, but what do you mean?
>> I know when you're like I know people when I think of real estate
>> and I think of like higher incomes with real estate, I think of people who
>> are like selling homes.
>> Yeah. I'm thinking of you're thinking of people who are selling expensive homes.
>> Yes.
>> But those are very limited.
>> Okay.
>> There the people who sell those kind of homes are limited and the people who can buy those kind of homes are limited. So, I mean, often people think of real estate because you don't have to go to college for it,
>> right?
>> Everything you've talked about
>> Mhm.
>> you need to go to college for
>> If you didn't go to college or you're in college now for what?
>> Um, business administration right now,
>> which is a meaningless degree.
>> Yeah. is a very
>> So, so for what your extra your dreams are pretty extravagant?
>> Mhm.
>> Did your mother and father make that kind of money?
>> No, not necessarily. Um,
>> not necessarily.
>> No, my mom touched like 100,000 150,000. She's
>> She's a what?
>> An RN. A registered nurse.
>> Did she make that during your childhood? at one point during my childhood, but mainly closer to when I was like older. But
>> your mom as a nurse made $150,000
>> at one point. Yeah.
>> Okay. What And what' your dad do?
>> My dad was So I met my dad when I was like 17, but
>> he wasn't there. What do your children's fathers do? One's an entrepreneur. I'm not going to lie. One of them actually is doing something with himself, but the other two, one's not involved. Um,
So I got to ask a question.
>> A woman who comes from Louisiana, you seem to come from, let's just say, middle class.
>> The lifestyle you just described was upper class.
>> Mhm. Now you Why do you Why jump from middle class to upper class? Somebody's got to pay for that.
>> Mhm.
>> Why not just middle class?
>> Well, I I just personally don't want to settle for middle class. I want I want to create and like I said, I know I I possibly won't be able to do it on my own. I mean, anything is possible. I do preach that. But
>> you won't be able to do it on your own. You mean with a man? I wouldn't say I need a man, but definitely uh business partnerships, people to network with, people who can help me develop into what I'm trying to develop into. I'm not saying I know it all cuz I don't
So So what's what's what's wrong with being this average normal?
>> I guess I'm just not resonating with it. I want more.
>> Okay. I I did.
>> Learning is fine. What kind of grades did you make in high school?
>> Pretty good grades.
>> What is that was your GPA?
>> Uh when I graduated high school, my GPA was a 3.6.
>> Okay. But you didn't go to college.
>> I did on and off. Um
>> but but you didn't Okay. You want an upper class lifestyle, but you didn't you didn't do what it takes to make upper class money the legal way.
>> Mhm.
>> He said, you don't you're not resonating with why do you have to resonate with what you are?
>> Okay.
>> I mean, Louisiana is one of the poorest states in the union.
>> It does. your people and your people aren't rich. And even as a mother with three children from three different guys and you're in school for business administration, that is not a degree you go to school for to make money.
>> Mhm. So that's really just I I did a broadcast yesterday about University of Southern California, USC, selling 100,000 $115,000 social work degrees to make $52,000 a year.
>> The kind of lifestyle you're talking about, man, comes with being a high-end executive or a high-end professional. But in our community, we often talk about real estate because you don't have to go to college or somehow being an entrepreneur or business owner as if people pay you money for nothing,
>> right?
>> You got to do something. Competence gets compensated. When you were Where did this appetite for upper class lifestyle come from? Cuz you didn't come from it. So you didn't see it.
>> Where'd it come from?
>> Well, even though mom and dad weren't upper class, I do have family members that are. And not only that, I guess just the want to create or give my children that upper class lifestyle, you know,
>> but your children aren't upper class.
>> Okay.
>> I mean, they're not.
>> No, they're not.
>> I mean, to Okay. Everybody wants to give their kids the best.
>> Mhm. But in order to give the kids the best, you have to have it yourself. Have you lived your life in such a way to to to think it's possible to do what you're talking about?
>> Right. I'm asking
>> I don't feel that I've I've taken the proper steps in my younger years
>> to set myself up for the lifestyle that I want.
>> Okay.
>> But I also am a firm believer that anything is possible
>> if the action is there. Like you said earlier, you preach you you said earlier um
>> well if the actions are there but
>> but how many times do you hear average everyday middle class people say that?
>> H um
>> I mean you have girlfriends or homies that you talk with about your dreams?
>> Honestly, no. I don't really
>> But you see but you see it online. I know. I see it every day. Middle class and lower lower middle class people every day talking about it's all possible.
>> Mhm.
>> Faith and all this other stuff. All right. Well, if it's all possible and if they all got it, wouldn't that mean you'd have to have even more money because 300,000 would be the new normal?
>> Mhm. Is it really all possible if onetenth of 1% of women earn $300,000? That ain't even 1%.
>> Okay.
>> Is it really possible? [Music] It's possible. But is it probable?
>> Okay.
>> And see, a lot of you ladies talk about possibilities instead of probabilities. and everything you said you've you you said you're going to do this as a single woman. What is the likelihood of that? What is the probability of that?
>> Well, statistically speaking, it is um a kind of a very slim chance. Well, I mean, what I'm trying to say is ultimately, um, if you have two kids and the and you said the fathers and two three kids and two of fathers aren't really doing anything.
>> Mhm.
>> All right. Well, then how do you go from that situation to trust funds for your kids and college paid for your kids? And it it all revolves around this business
>> that you haven't defined. And you'd have to make 300 plus,000 from that business.
>> That's take-home pay,
>> right?
>> That's not earn. That's not So that's more of a dream.
>> Okay. I mean, I don't Unless you have a plan. It's not like you said, I I'm going to school. I'm going to go to law school and then I plan to go be a trial lawyer or corporate. And I mean, right now, it's I'm going to go to business. That's business is one of the easiest degrees to get.
>> Mhm.
>> They So, if it's common,
>> you gonna get a common degree, an average degree, and you live the middle class, average lifestyle. But for you, somehow it's going to turn into rich. How is that going to happen?
>> Well, that's why I'm on here to learn. Whether I mentor from whoever, I don't know every step it takes to get to a certain level of class, but I know that I have the willingness to learn. I know that.
>> Okay. There are people who have, you're saying, willingness to learn. everything else. But the kind of money you're talking about,
>> Mhm.
>> it's just not possible. It's not probable. I mean, think about how many people who want what you want the same outcome.
>> How many people can get it,
>> right?
>> So, I'm asking, why not just live a life that's within your reach? And you don't want to live normal.
>> I mean, I can live a life that's within my re reach, but am I going to give up on what I want to or ideally want to become?
>> No, I'm not going to.
>> Okay. Give up on what you want to become. What is that? If I'mma be 100% honest a millionaire like period. Am I
>> see this is one this is one thing I don't understand is that when I was coming up people expected to do what their parents did maybe a little bit better.
>> Mhm.
>> You guys expect to do 10 times better than the people that raised you.
>> Right. Well, if that became the new normal, that would still be doing what your parents did. You all expect to become millionaires just because you have the smartphone and the internet. People don't just pay you for nothing.
>> Nope.
>> All right. And you don't have those skills.
>> Skills learned.
>> No, they can't. Not Not with three children. No, they can't.
>> Okay.
>> No, they can't. I'm not going to sit there and lie to you. a 27 years old with an 11 year old and these kids they can't what what skills are those where would you go yes true skills can be learned where would you go learn them
>> well, the I guess the beneficial thing about the world the technical world we live in right now is there are ways to research and just kind of branch out to people who are on a certain level.
>> Uhhuh.
>> Wanting to share how they got to that level
>> and you pay for that knowledge.
>> Okay. Where do you go? So, you're going to find a guru or somebody and you pay them. You're going to find you're going to find a mentor or somebody who knows. How much you got to pay them for that?
>> Not sure what's like I guess the average cost is anywhere between $2 to $5,000 for like certain events. Uh,
>> so I need So you think you can find somebody and pay him two to 5,000? $3,500 is the average $3,000
>> to become a millionaire.
>> Well, it's not necessary to become a millionaire, but it's to give you the knowledge to set yourself up to what goals and dreams you have. Now,
>> okay. So they're going to so they're going to give you you're going to go to a seminar or a course and they'll give you a blueprint
>> pretty much.
>> But you got to work it. You know who you know makes the money off of that?
>> The mentor or group or whatever.
>> Yeah, ma'am. This is why black This is why people of color are so susceptible to get-rich quick schemes and multi-level marketing because we all seem to think that we can take pennies or dollars and give it to somebody and then they can just shake it up and give us back a million dollars. You can't even do that on the street. You can't even take $3,000 on the street and turn it into a million like that.
>> Okay? Because if that was if it was that easy, people will be lining up to do that. If it were guaranteed. But see, this is what this is how the rich have taken advantage of the poor. Making you think that come by my million-doll course and I and I see so many women of color buying into I I talk to somebody every week who thinks they're going to become a million. I talk to a girl. Matter of fact, I just it's just I just don't understand when you don't see that in your life. That's not what you see. That's not even in your world. It's not even very realistic. But I understand the desire. But is it really possible
or probable in your words?
>> Yes. Right. I grow my business to maybe multi-millionaire but I literally have employees if it's if we're go we're going on maybe a million dollar business then what Kevin what were we going to refer this conversation what if I do it's a lot of people who little D I mean even though he's a rapper he's just about to go get his high school diploma you can obtain great su success and wealth without going to school or being working a job name a job name one job that I can work with the degree that will bring me it's more than $5 million a year. Am I going to obtain the money that I want to obtain working for somebody else? Where I'mma get it in the government like like where I'm get it like where like I want to build generational wealth and I'm not going to do that really working for somebody else. I have to have different streams of income. You know this you don't just have one job. That's why even when you were 26 you had two. You understand?
>> Dangerous mind. the same year, right? I broke my business.
>> Yep. There was one there was one young black woman
>> who was saying some of the same stuff you're talking about.
>> Mhm. And uh two days before her, I spoke to another young lady who uh was saying some similar stuff that she had went and sat down at uh spectacular or somebody some seminar and you know I just it it's not real.
>> Mhm.
>> It's not real. And they're telling you guys what you want to hear, but that's she's saying the same things. She said the same thing about manifest hope uh gurus courses.
>> Now I'm not saying like you can manifesting hope and fa I mean like you said earlier faith without works is dead. I'm a firm believer in that you have to have action behind everything you do. Even your prayers
>> you have to put the action behind it to quote unquote manifest anything. Um, and I'm not saying 100% that I'll be able to achieve what I desire and what I
>> what I ultimately want as far as, you know, an annual income. I just know that I'm willing to learn. I'm willing to take steps and I'm willing to try, you know,
>> the taste of addiction. But my my concern my concern is is
>> that women like you don't you're average normal everyday middle class people with rich dreams and you don't want to be average. It's like being an average or normal is a failure.
>> But you but you don't get to have what you have what you want without work,
>> right?
>> There is no shortcut. And I don't think that a lot I think a lot of you ladies tell yourselves this stuff, but it's not realistic.
>> I'm trying to get a
>> 200K is 200.
>> So I got all kind of videos with women who are saying the same thing.
>> Mhm. you know, another young lady. It's just like, do your kids need you to be rich?
>> No, my kids need me to be a mother. They need
>> Where where's a man in all of this?
>> In my personal situation?
>> Yeah. I mean, cuz in all the stuff you said you want to do, there was not one one mention of a man. I didn't think we were going to have that conversation, but
>> Well, I'm just I'm just saying because you said because it's like, well, um, doing it all on your own, that's a possibility. I mean, sure, it's hard to do that way, but
>> Mhm.
>> How you going to make that kind? Most people don't earn that kind of money by themselves,
>> right? Right. Absolutely. I agree. I do feel like that's what I I guess I meant by a partnership. somebody who I'm with who we can work together to reach certain goals. I do feel like as a single mother of three with three baby daddies, it makes it a bit harder for me.
>> Mhm.
>> You know, I'm not I'm not a single woman with no kids,
>> right? So when it comes to men, you know, it's competition and I would have to come with something a bit better than a woman who's single with no kids. You feel
>> right. I do. So
>> is it going to be easier to do that or to live this this idea of what you're talking about? I don't know. I'm not 100% sure how easy it is for me to get somebody to who wants to marry me or whatever the case may be. I know that I do have people that want me. I do have people that's interested in me. There are people who's like, "Okay, they'll accept my kids, but at the end of the day
>> Mhm.
>> you know, I know what baggage I come with. I know that I have three kids. I know that I have three daddies. So realistically, oh yeah, I'mma be a wife and all that. That's not really in my mind right now. What's in my mind right now is getting myself financially stable enough to be able to if I'm never in a situation where where I can be with somebody long term, at least I'm financially stable enough to be able to take care of my kids with or without a man's help.
>> Okay. Well, financially stable doesn't come through business administration and then just having some sort of business.
>> See, often you ladies talk about business as if business owning a business is is the is the cure for everything. Those really get pumped a lot in the black community. So many of our women just say business as if business is supposed to cure and fix things. It doesn't because
>> I mean this this so-called business is your is is the lynch pin or the it's the key to making your life work because Oh, here's the woman. This is the woman a long video and this is the woman talking about she needs a $900,000 home and no no her dreams are right in line with yours and this is the woman who's 24 years old and she went to some seminar and see the thing is ma'am if you would have sat down and talked to a counselor and said you know what I want to make $300,000 a year take home and if they had to tell you the truth that said you can't you're not going to be able to do with this degree Mhm. It's just not realistic. If you had to say what kind of business, what kind of business am I qualified to go start? What is it? I mean, it's not you got competence gets compensated. So, I don't like seeing women who are sitting who saying, "Well, I'm going a man is not the answer, so I need to make myself together." So, college ain't the answer either. not business administration.
>> Mhm.
>> The answer is look at your life and say, "I have three children and the average 74% of black women in this country earn less than $50,000." You're in one of the brokest states in the union. And most most women don't earn what you're talking about. Nursing would have been a better option for the highest amount of money, but then the hours are long.
>> And at the end of the day, you want to live this extravagant lifestyle, but that's reserved for people who make that kind of money,
>> right?
>> So, it's one thing to dream like that when you're a kid, but as a mother with three kids, I need to pour some cold water on you and say, "You got to wake up. You can't dream like that. You need to get a real profession. Business administration is a waste of time. You need to get something that's going to pay you stable, consistent money. Why didn't you? So, having a mother who was an RN, why did you why didn't you think about that? It's funny that you say that cuz like about a week ago I had a dream and
>> but why didn't why didn't you think about that initially? There's a reason
>> I actually initially was going for that for that degree
>> but
>> but
>> I don't know honestly life happened and having kids in the midst of everything.
>> But but school is still school. Mhm.
>> Absolutely.
>> So, are you are you more full-time?
>> I can still change my Yeah, currently I'm full-time.
>> So, is it too hard?
>> Not now, but previously it was it wasn't that the
>> Well, okay. Well, see, you seem like a a a good-hearted free spirit kind of person, but ma'am, you gonna have to live you gonna have to live with rules,
>> okay? And you can't and you can't sit around talk about I don't like rules and structure. You got three kids and three baby daddies. Uh that ain't that that ain't you need some structure,
>> okay?
>> Cuz those kids need more than a mom that's just dreaming. Business administration, you might as well wipe your ass with that degree
>> cuz you can't you take that anywhere and be a starting salary for what kind of jobs can you do with a business administration degree? I mean, see, they don't even do, and this is what I wish they would do when you guys went to college. I wish they would do more career planning instead of just taking you ladies money.
>> What kind of job kind of jobs for a business administration degree? What kind of jobs can you give a business administration degree?
>> Uh, it could be like payroll and
>> Yeah.
>> Uh,
>> yeah. Not many
>> CEO of certain businesses.
>> Ma'am, you're not going to be CEO or nothing. Come on now. And CEO of a major corporation, a procurement officer, an office administration, human resource manager,
>> uh franchise manager, business consultant, which is after you have some experience,
>> but most of it is midlevel work. Mhm.
>> 40 to $70,000 a year maybe.
>> Mhm.
>> But you notice how automatically you automatically shoot to the top. CEO.
>> What does that stand for?
>> What does CEO stand for? Uh chief executive officer.
>> What do they do?
>> They run the company pretty much. Pretty much they the head chief. and and what's and what kind of CEOs make the kind of money you're talking about?
>> It would definitely have to be a very very successful corporation maybe. And how and how many women who are mothers of three who coming out of college as late as you are skip all those candidates who went to all those qualified schools and went to Princeton and Wharton all the other places and just become CEOs. Man, please stop dreaming so big. I'm going say this. I wish some of our ladies would stop dreaming so big and started li living life realistically and see that's supposed to that's just like I had this conversation with the young lady. You you crushing my dreams and this and that. This country lives off of black women fantasies of grandeur. You're by yourself trying to get these unrealistic jobs and titles and while everybody else is doing it together,
>> right?
>> 16 to be and and and I don't hate to say it, you have to say it. the top 1% or higher than that is is very competitive and you have to start that out uh early on and people ain't going to just let you take their jobs. You know, people work for years to get
>> a promotion like that.
>> And let's get real. Let's get real. You you really want the money. You don't want the job. You want the money that leads to lifestyle. Is that or is that would that be fair?
>> Or you want the stress of leading an organization of hundreds of thousands of people. You want the stress of meeting quarterly budgets. You want the stress of 16-hour days and all that. You want for 20. You want that stress you
>> or you want the lifestyle that comes along with that income. Be honest with yourself.
>> I mean, it would definitely be nice.
>> Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Do you want the money that comes along with it, or do you want Okay. How tall are you,
>> child? 53. No, 5'4. I'm
>> dress.
>> Huh?
>> Dress size.
>> I'm a 2X. I don't know like the number numeric size of it, but I'm
>> How much you How much you weighed last time you weighed yourself?
>> Oh, we doing this online.
>> For a very good reason. For a good reason.
>> I I always do.
>> Come on, man.
>> Well, I knew he was going to hit me with
>> Of course. Of course. But this for a very good reason.
>> 250. 250. Ma'am, executives are people who are are professional athletes for work.
>> You're not even in physical shape to do that job.
>> Okay.
>> Do you notice how most executives are fitness nuts?
>> Yeah. Yeah. because you have to have a a kind of health and a and a and a and a drive and ability to focus and do something. And what's the last thing you focused on and did for five years consistently day in and day out? That's what I'm saying. You seem like a nice woman, but really in another generation, you would have been somebody's wife. uh and y'all would have tried to make a life together. But in this world, we've told women that just do what you want to do and college was going to be the answer. Get a business, go get a bag.
>> And that's not how it works.
>> So now you're in a crunch. I got too many kids for a certain kind of men. I'm out of shape for these kind of men and I haven't lived my life to this. So now what do I do? I have to dream because the reality of my choices is kind of depressing. But you got to choose what you can the best life you can make out of what you got.
>> What you got right now
>> is get I would consider nursing or something like that. Something that's a high pay higher paying job. And you need to be focusing on retirement at 60.
>> 65 is retirement age. Ain't going to be no trust funds. I mean, it's just not that's just not how most people live. Good conversation. That's just not how most people live. Most people have to work and struggle and and live at their means. And far too many of us want to have these extravagant lives when we see that on TV and Instagram. And a that's just not the real world. I think you know that especially in Louisiana.
>> Yeah. I I don't think even where I'm from set me up for anything. It makes it a bit harder. It makes it
>> well. Dreaming is good for the kids, but as adults,
>> reality is what it is. And uh I'm going to say it. I don't know. Your youngest child, are you and the father cool or what?
>> Yeah, that's that's We're really We're really I'm I'm going to say it's complicated. We're kind of
>> Is he married?
>> No. Oh,
>> he's the reason he's the reason you guys didn't get together.
>> Um, I can honestly accept accountability. Um, I have to heal.
>> Let me just get hit you with her. You need to carry your ass back to him cuz if he accepted you with two kids and wanted to be with you,
>> uh, that's your best bet. Yeah, but I have a lot of like
>> I don't you
>> therapy I need uh ma'am
>> if there okay that sounds like a a but the reality is at your at your level your income
>> Mhm.
>> you're going to need $2.4 million by 65 to retire on
>> and middle class people middle class women can't be by themselves and that's that's the lie. It's like therapy and it's like which is basically saying I need to wait. All right, go to my broadcast yesterday and look at the articles I put up.
>> Okay,
>> black women are aging and dying alone. And if you got a man who you had a child with,
>> uh, that's your best bet because at least y you got a kid with him. rest of the men. Black women are aging alone. There's a black woman in here in the south.
>> Mhm.
>> Uh I was probably one step away from being on the street. Four years after the Stark market crash of 2008, her life savings, her life savings and investment was gone. She was forced to sell the house she co-owned and lived in with her aunt and her mother. This is happening all over this world. That woman, you know what she did? She is an academic coach in Virginia. You don't make enough money to be by yourself.
>> Okay?
>> And you're not going to get into this $300,000 fantasy. Whatever you need to do to fix yourself, spend that plate. Talk to your baby daddy. I got a kid together. Black folk, we need to get realistic cuz this is crazy. So, good conversation, but you know, life is real.
>> Okay,
>> we got to start living life like it's real. All right, talk at you later.
All right, let's talk about this cuz honestly, it's wild out here. She's 28, 5'2, dress size 16, three kids by three different men, and somehow she says she refuses to settle for a middle class man. Not just that, she doesn't want anything to do with an average guy. Sis, what? See, this is where the disconnect gets real. Because what exactly do you think you qualify for? This ain't hate, it's math. You've got three children, multiple exes, and no ring to show for any of it. But now you're turning your nose up as stable, workingclass men who might actually be willing to build with you. Let's keep it all the way real. Women that move and talk like this need to understand ASAP that they're exactly what high value men aren't looking for. It's not even personal. It's reality. Men who have options, who've built something, who've worked hard, they want peace, they want cooperation. They want a woman who adds value, not extra baggage. And no, value isn't about your looks alone. It's about mindset, femininity, humility, respect, things that too many women today think they can skip over because they've convinced themselves they're the prize. But let's flip the question. What kind of man do you bring peace to? Can he trust you? Can he build with you? Or are you just out here looking to upgrade your life through him while offering nothing in return? This isn't about shaming. It's about standards. Yours and his. Because just like women have preferences, men do too. And when a man hears three kids by three men, that's not a preference. That's a red flag. Kevin tried to explain that calmly and clearly, but the truth is too much for some to hear. They'd rather live in fantasy than fix what's broken. At the end of the day, a mindset like this isn't just unrealistic. It's self- sabotage. You're not settling for a middle class man. You're rejecting the only men who might actually take you seriously.