Transcription
Show of hands, who remembers this girl? Hello, I'm Janelle, and I live in a van with my pet snake, Alfredo. Janelle Elana, does the name sound familiar? July 4th, 2019, she posted her first video about her cooky and quirky life in said van. "Oh my gosh, it's so fun, makes me sick!" Around this time, humble but impressive beginnings, about 20,000 subscribers, she posted another video. By July 19th, "I got to remove the stupid thing." She had a million. "I got to move the camera, hold on. I, I, I didn't think I'd have to adjust the angle, hold on." She had a million. "I'm not jealous of her, why would you say that? Shut up!"
I was 15 when this happened, and I remember watching her and her story and watching it all unfold and thinking to myself, "Wow, if it can happen to her, it can happen to anyone. One video is all it takes for my biggest dreams to come true." That did not happen. Have you, dear viewer, had such aspirations? Quit your 9-to-5, be your own boss, live the glorious lifestyle of the rich and famous, just because most people generally agree that your videos give off good vibes? Then, as the foremost leading expert on this subject, don't Google that. Also, don't ask anybody. Also, don't look down just a little bit and see how low my sub count is. You can just trust me.
Then allow me to shed some light on my industry. For those of you who don't know, we just hit 1,000 subscribers on this channel. "Oh, please, please keep going!" Yes, clapping is the proper response to that announcement. Also, may I add, it was with our 100th upload. "Oh my goodness, yes, clap louder!" Uh-huh. This is exactly the reaction I wanted. "Oh my goodness, but let me be the first to say, a MST roaring clapping, please don't stop that!" All the work we put in to get to this very moment, none of it was worth it. Not at all. Not even a little bit. Am I lying? About 60%, but I'm still mad.
I've been making videos on the internet for 2 years, and I've changed a lot. The type of videos, my style of making videos, my process. It's, I've grown as a creative, and I've done so much in that time. "I'd like to thank the academy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Nobody cares." But from being very honest, if I knew it was going to take me 2 years to get here, I probably would have never started. And to be very honest with you, I thought I would have reached this point a lot quicker than I did. "I want to see if I can hit 1,000 by the end of the year. I just want to give this a try and see where I end up."
A look at me, so young and stupid. I had big dreams, you see. Everybody was going to see my unadulterated, pure, raw talent. I was going to make videos for a living. I would be able to drop out of college. I'd be able to buy my parents a house. I'd show everybody that I grew up with and went to middle school with, who didn't want to play with me on the monkey bars or didn't want to sit next to me at lunch because I wasn't one of the cool kids. They would see me online and I'd say, "Ha! I am one of the cool kids!" Commentary YouTubers were going to make video essays about me. I was inevitably going to say something offensive on Twitter. I'd get canceled, and I'd live the rest of my days knowing that I peaked at 19. It was going to be great.
Yeah, but that didn't happen. Uh, I didn't even get close. And to be honest, this is a failure. I'm aware of what I am. It was supposed to be a ticket to the easy life, but now that I've been doing this for a while, I've got to say, this is a lot more work than I thought it would be. There's this really common assumption that this is easy. Now, is that true? Kind of. Look, I don't want to say it's like rocket science or brain surgery or whatever, but I'm like, it, it's kind of, it's hard work, a little bit, kind of, maybe? I don't know.
Because to the average viewer on YouTube, all the work they have to do is essentially deciding which video they're going to watch while they eat lunch. They do it for 10 minutes, and then they leave a like. But to the person making the video, they have to brainstorm the idea, research the topic, write the script, rewrite the script, rewrite the script, wonder if they're any good at script writing, then rewrite the script. They have to record the video, re-record bits that they didn't like. "If you'll excuse me, I'll just get the rest of my list here." We have edit the recording, sound design, make the title, make the thumbnail, and then do this whole process over again, forever. And this whole thing gets you maybe seven views. At first, it's not very fun.
If I'm being honest, because you have to get good at selling yourself. For example, if you're a middle-aged woman and you want to make videos about Club Penguin, that's fantastic. But you have to understand, your goal is not to make videos about Club Penguin. It's to make me, a random stranger, care about videos about Club Penguin. These sound like very similar goals, but they are two completely different things. Because you don't realize how much of making videos is really not about making videos. It's about making videos seem interesting. You have to learn how to get good at marketing. How am I going to convince random strangers on the internet to give up their precious time to watch my random crap? And this isn't something that we typically have to think about doing in our day-to-day life unless we work in like sales or something. If we're talking about our interests, we don't have to worry about making people care about it because your husband or your best friend can pretend to care about your interests all they want. But I, I'm a stranger. I don't have to do anything for you. I owe you nothing.
Another thing is the constant output. Because it's true, some days you wake up with the perfect idea, and then you get immediately into writing and recording and editing, and everything runs smoothly. You finish the video, you love it, you're laughing, you're crying, it's Oscar-worthy. You put it out, and you feel great. That's fantastic. Now do it again, immediately, forever. But the thing is, ideas don't come to you just whenever you want. But whether they do or don't, you need them consistently. You got to make something. You can't bank on one good idea. You need them over and over, week after week, because not all of them are going to hit, and you need as many attempts as you can build up. And that task sounds really easy in theory, but in practice, it is annoying, stressful, and overall upsetting.
But let's say you do all of that. You do all the work. You learn to sell yourself, and you're consistent with it. That is fantastic. But here's the thing: nobody is going to care for a very long time. Now, I hear you asking, dear viewer, why is that? Well, let me tell you the answer. It's quite simple, really.
[Music]
Um, do you remember when YouTube looked like this? Yeah, me neither. I'm 20, not 100. If you feel old right now, that feeling is correct, because you are. But from what I've been told, when YouTube looked like this, there was only like a handful of creators for a specific genre of things, like gaming or sketch comedy or whatever. Vsauce is. But now there's literally thousands of YouTubers for each genre, and there are new genres being made all the time. And the fact that there is an entire genre based on copying one person is enough proof that this market is saturated, wouldn't you agree?
There's too many options. To illustrate, think of your favorite Chinese takeout place. They have no less than 5,000 items on the menu, yet you order the same three every time. There are just too many options, so you stick with what you know you will like, and you never change it, ever. But what are the chances you're going to try the 5,000 and first thing they put on the menu, the new version of sugary fried chicken bites with rice? Never. You're not. You're not going to do it. Put the sweet and sour in the bag and leave me alone. That was a really incoherent way of saying people don't like to try new things, especially when there are too many options.
Also, people are shallow. We say we want to be different, but really, we are liars. Because 90% of the time, we would just like to conform to what everybody else does in peace. No, believe me. Ever notice how in any video, somebody says "hot take" or "unpopular opinion," it's followed by just a really boring fact of life, and then everyone in the comments agrees? If thousands of people are agreeing to something, then was it really that unpopular of an idea? Clearly not. Because people like what is popular and what has already been agreed to be good. And to see that a view count is high is a subconscious way of knowing that other people have seen this and liked this. It would have never gotten this popular if other people didn't like it, so surely I'll probably like it as well. It's your way of determining quality and to see if it's worth your time.
But to see a video with fairly few views comes across as low-budget and frankly, very loser-like. Because you don't want to be the first one to watch it. It probably sucks. That's not worth your time. You're important, and your lunch is getting cold. Are you really going to risk it on a video that you might not like? No. Are you stupid? So you put these two ideas together, and it makes the workload for a smaller creator a lot harder than they probably realized it would be. Cuz at the end of the day, people are vain, and you have to put almost more work into making the video look like it'll be interesting than actually making the video interesting.
Why did you click on this video? Did you like the thumbnail? Did the title interest you? If it did, great, I did my job, and that's a compliment. Thank you. But okay, let me ask you something else. Did you notice how low the view count was again? If you did, and you clicked on it anyway, hats off to you, sir. We appreciate your services here at David Tow Productions. But if you didn't, be honest. If you had noticed it, would you have clicked on it? I'm not mad or anything, I'm just asking this so you can question yourself, so you can feel bad, and I can feel better about myself.
To me, it's what I imagine starting a small business is like. You're putting a lot of time and effort into a new venture that you're hoping will make some sort of money. And let's be honest, I don't care what anybody says, you're in this for the money. You're not better than me. We all want money. Shut up, we all want money. I don't care if you're like, "Oh no, I'm only in it for the love of the game. I'm an artist." Yeah, you're an artist who wants money. So you open up shop, and literally any sort of attention is a win. And sure, it's exhilarating at first, but you start to realize quickly that the amount of work you put in is not being proportionally rewarded. But you figure, "Hey, if I just work for X amount of time, I'm sure it'll all be worth it in the end." And then 10X amount of time passes, and it still hasn't done that yet. And it's at this point that you start to wonder if it'll ever get off the ground or if any of your dreams will be realized.
And the interesting thing about it is that, well, I assume similar to a small business or an artist, you're not fully respected by other people until it's successful. It's not something that you can really brag about or frankly talk about openly because you think people might judge you because you're not making money yet. Am I in frame? Yeah, I am. There we go. No. Oh, my bad. I mean, no. So you're working, grinding, hustling, trying to get the kinks out and trying to get better and better with time, but it's just not working. And as crushing as this is for you, nobody's going to care because it's not that big a deal to them. A your little video didn't get as many views as you want. A most of the time, the hustle will not be respected until the results meet the expectations of other people. Which sucks, because a lot of the time, results almost never do that in the beginning.
Last week, I uploaded what was my most successful video in almost 2 years. Now, I know it doesn't have a lot of views, but shut up, let me have this. And for the past week, I have obsessively watched, watched its view count slowly trickle up. I've read every comment. I've looked at every analytic. I've observed it and watched it from the corners and shadows of YouTube Studio like a creep. It's been a truly fun time for me. With that being said, uh, I'm about to say something a little bit vulnerable, but I feel like I've created a safe space here for all of us. You ready? If this video does not do greater or equal numbers, I will set something on fire. A match. That is the thing that's meant to catch on fire, silly. Of course, I wasn't talking about about a building or like a plot of land.
I would love to believe this is how this works. You get better and better, and with time, your views and attention goes up and up. But it's not, it's never linear. It's, it's just weird. Sometimes it just fails. And you can try adjusting thumbnails and titles and tags, and yeah, I'm sure that'll do something sometimes for some people. But most of the time, you just have to do it again and hope. Which is such an interesting mental thing, because it's been said that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and over and expect a different result. But that's exactly what you're doing. I mean, you're getting a little bit better every now and then, but you're essentially making the same thing over and over and over, and you keep hoping that it'll be different. And then it's probably not going to be. You do start to feel a little crazy.
At the end of the day, it's just deeply demoralizing to put so much effort into something you know you're good at, or at least you think you are, and you think you're getting better, and you're improving day by day, and yet it's never getting a chance to be seen. It only makes you question, "Am I good at this? Am I talented? Am I funny? Is this worth it?"
[Music]
That was a lot of self-pity, wasn't it? Bad. Yes, it is easy to think like that, but I'm going to need you to lock in. All right, this is the happy part of the video. You ready? Put the numbers aside. Ever make something that genuinely made you happy? Like it's funny, or it's really well-edited, or it's just overall, it makes you feel creative? You ever get those feelings? I really hope that feeling never goes away because it is genuinely fun and enjoyable. So in that way, you always know there's some sort of sentimental or emotional benefit that you get out of this, some sort of reward. You feel an inner pride. You'll always have that, no matter what. Well, you'll always have it as long as you're trying. That is okay.
Back to the numbers for a second. It is so easy to blame everything on the all-knowing and all-powerful algorithm. But riddle me this, Sherlock. Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, um, your videos suck? Don't get me wrong, I've been there. Every bad title, every boring thumbnail, every stupid idea, every two-month hiatus followed by feeling bad for yourself, then announcing that you were going to get back into it, making two videos, they both flop, and then going on an even longer two-month hiatus. How going to be even longer? They're both two months. I don't, I don't know. I was there through all of this. All right, we are in this together.
But it gets better because you just have to accept that, yeah, I might suck at this. Most people do. But you get over it. You get better. And then eventually, you suck less. The question is for you: Is it worth the effort to get from here where you suck and you're bad at this, to get over here where you're slightly less worse at this? Because it's a long journey. And for some people, the answer is no, and that's fine. It's good to get that out of the way now so that you can spend your time doing something that you would enjoy and that you would get better at. But if the answer is yes, we've got work to do.
It's very important that as much as possible, you remove your emotions from this process. Or at the very least, do not let them dictate your actions. As we discussed in the previous video, failure does not make you a failure. Just because you can do fractions as an 8-year-old does not mean you do not deserve love. You have to view failures as a learning experience. This flopped. Okay, why? What do I need to cut? What do I need to add? Post, get feedback, adapt, try again. Despite the numbers or anything else, I can always take pride in that over these two years, I have grown as a speaker, as a script writer, as an editor, and as a fourth thing. It has also recently changed my mindset towards work and patience and belief, believing in myself. Not too much, but also not too little. You got to find the balance. But I've learning, I'm doing it. And now, even if this were the last piece of media I ever made, at least I now have an entire library of dumb ideas that became reality, and no one can take that from me unless YouTube deleted my channel. But that would be rather rude of them. I'm kind of hoping they don't do that.