Peter

Good morning. Hey, welcome. My name is Jeffrey. I'm the lead pastor here and I am excited about this morning. I'm excited about this week. I love the Easter week. Holy Week is awesome. It's great for us to be reentered and remember all that we're doing, all that we believe.

And so, next weekend, just let me get the one announcementy thing out right here. Next weekend is Easter. I know it feels super early and we probably still have another snowstorm coming our way, but next weekend is Easter weekend. And we've got different service times. We would love for you to be here, invite some people.

Uh and then in your Park news today, there is an opportunity for you to to sign up to serve. It is like the biggest weekend that we have in terms of people coming to Beltway that aren't normally a part of our church. And you can sign up. You can serve in our parking lot as a greeter. There's lots of ways you can serve. So, take take some time after service, fill that out, drop it off at either of our guest services at either campus. And we would love for you to attend a service and then serve in one of the services over that weekend.

It's going to be a powerful powerful weekend because our God is a powerful powerful God and he is a powerful God that we've been talking about over the last few weeks as we've been in this series called Encountering Easter. And today we get to talk about one of my favorite characters in the Bible, a man named Peter. And I thought, how best to get into Peter who's known really for this? I mean, he's known for lots of things, but one of his biggest moments is this this moment of a big failure that he makes. And I thought, what better way to talk about this than tell you maybe my greatest failure as a husband.

So, it is uh it is around the birth of my second born child. Uh, which is a weird time to like have a big failure moment, but let me like tell let me tell you how we got there. So, with our first daughter, Berkeley, who's about to turn 15 here in a couple of weeks, I know you're like, "How could you be that old? It's crazy. I had her when I was 12." And so, uh, when when Sarah was in labor with Berkeley, Sarah had all the medicine in the world. So, I don't Let me get this out of the way. I could not care less your stance on natural child birth, medicated child birth. Don't care. If you have thoughts on that, it is Pastor David beltway.org. Okay? Don't care. You do you. It's fine. We pro medicine. And so Sarah gets with Berkeley like 15 years ago. Sarah gets dimmer and dimmer right when she gets in there and Sarah is like hilariously loopy. She looks at this nurse which for the record and I don't understand why they do this. They allowed her just a goner at this point to sign medical paperwork when she doesn't remember her name. Like that is going on. And then Sarah looks at the nurse and she goes, "He's about to go get our pillow." And me and the nurse are like waiting with baited breath. What might she say next? Because we're pillow people. What does that mean? Only God knows. What is a pillow person? But that's Sarah tells the nurse this. And a guy comes in and he shoves a giant needle that should be used for horses into her spine and gives her an epidural, which is a wild experience. And at this point, and this matters in the story, it was about $1,000 for an epidural. She gets the epidural, she's fine. She like takes a nap. I'm stressed out beyond belief. She's great. She goes to sleep, sleeps all night. The doctor comes in the next morning and is like, "Hey, how are things?" And Sarah, I promise this is true, is putting on her makeup. It is a while and then you know a little while later Berkeley's born. Everything is calm. Everything is peaceful.

The sequel to this story of our second born could not be different. We get into the labor and delivery room at 12:57 a.m. Ellie, my youngest, is born at 10:05 a.m. Everyone that laughed knows you don't have a child in 8 minutes normally. It was I don't know if you ever seen the movie Twister. That's what happened. It was chaos in the room. Ellie is born with one nurse in the room. The door to the hospital room is wide open. The room is not set up. Sarah, who's the nicest, if you ever met Sarah, she's the nicest person you've ever met, screams at the nurse at one point. And I am like, I have no idea what's going on. And then Sarah in the midst of this looks at this nurse and she goes, "Hey, when am I going to get my epidural?" And the nurse looks at her and goes, "Oh, honey." And then it was the the world went to chaos. And so that goes on. Ellie's born. It's I mean, Ellie's like the cutest little baby. And so we hold her and it's been like an hour. Okay. And and remember it's been a chaotic hour. I was in the movie Twister. Like it was wild. And now like I'm trying to ease the tension and I'm going to use it by my humor. Like I'm going to I'm going to make things better. And I leaned down to Sarah and I said, "Babe, you just saved us like a thousand bucks." Wrong. Okay. Dumbest thing you could. She looked at me and she looked at me and she goes, "I will see that money." I was like, "Yes, ma'am." And so she I'm sure she bought something with her thousand dollars. I have no idea. I don't remember it. But like it was a really low moment. It was the dumbest thing you could possibly say in that moment as a husband. It was a huge mistake.

I could tell you I I sat down to go, "All right, what story should I tell of failure?" And the problem is I have books of them. Like I could tell you story after story of mistakes that I made and times that I did something that was dumb. And you got those like you you got funny ones too probably, but you also have ones that are real. Like you got ones that are deeper. You got ones that like in your marriage you had this big failure moment and you go, "Why did I do that? Times as a parent that you're working on math homework which will I mean that will show you where your heart is at is helping a teenager with their math homework and you'll realize we are sinful people and so like you've had those times where you you responded to your kid in a way that you regret something happens in your job and you make this mistake like we all have these moments of deep failure. It it is it is a part of every single one of our lives.

And here's the biggest issue is now in the world that we live in you don't even have to fail to fail. If you're not moving forward fast enough, you're failing. If you're not as successful as that person over there, then you don't measure up. If if you have this like if your bank account's not growing, you don't have the bigger car, and you don't have the better house, like if that's the case, you're still even if you're not failing, you're failing. And we live in this world that we constantly feel like we don't measure up and that we're failing. And our response to failure, it determines our future. How we respond whenever we make mistakes, how we respond whenever we fail matters immensely. And if it's inevitable and if it's something we're all going to face, how we navigate it matters.

And the problem is for so many of us, the way that we navigate it is we wear our failures as an aspect of our identity. We don't want to admit that. Like we don't want to say that's what we're doing, but it's the way that we navigate. And so we take our failures, we wake up in the morning and we know we had a rough day yesterday and we know we made some decisions we wish we hadn't made yesterday. And so we put on our failure and then we let this be an aspect of how we go about our day. Like we don't want to say we do it. We don't want to admit that we do it. But we put it on and we go to work and we feel like this like I'm a failure. Like this this is who I am. May maybe it's that maybe it's that you feel like a fraud like people don't really know you. They don't know the real you. They don't really know who you are. And so we we put on this identity and we go about our day. It could be that we feel just wholly and completely unworthy. And that because of that that dictates how we live. It dictates how we respond at work. It dictates how we talk to our spouse. It dictates how we treat our kids. I mean, it could be shame. Could be that we feel like we're a bad mom or dad. And it's so easy for us to grab hold of these identities and let them be the deciding factor. Let them be the period at the end of the sentence of our life.

When the reality is if we look to scripture it says this failure is not final. The grace of Jesus is final. And when we let this be the way our modus operandi, when we let this be the thing that determines how we're going to live, how we're going to act, how we're going to talk, how we're going to respond, when we let our failures be the end of the sentence, we miss out on the beautiful grace of Jesus. And the invitation of scripture, the invitation of Easter, is to stop letting anything but the grace of Jesus define who we are. Stop letting it be this. I don't want this to be Jeffrey. I want to be known by somebody who walks in my identity as a son who walks in my identity as somebody who has received grace.

I want to show you what that looks like. My wife and I got married shortly after high school. Uh we were I we were both 19. Uh we were in Abalene for about eight years. And uh the door into vocational ministry uh was opening in another in another place. We had moved up to North Idaho and I went on staff at a church there as a children's pastor through relationship that I had made running camps in the northwest uh while we were in Idaho. I got a call from a church in Arizona uh to come on staff as a kids pastor. It was a big church. It's about 10,000 people. Britney and I were so excited at the prospect that God was using us um to affect change and you know in small churches and now there was an opportunity in a much larger church. We prayed and felt peace to go. My first year at this church uh I was a kids pastor at our broadcast campus. At the time we had five. And uh a year in I was promoted to senior team, what they call directional leadership team. And I oversaw all of the kids ministries uh at our campuses. And a year into being on senior team is when the wheels really came off at two different campuses. There was child on child abuse that had taken place. That's when I felt my world start to shrink. It was about a month later. Uh we were in our season of prayer and fasting uh corporately, our church, and I was teaching that morning uh to our entire church about pain. I finished teaching that morning and that afternoon I was called into my oversight's office with our senior executive pastor present and they had let me know that they cleared my afternoon for me and they said to me, "Daniel, we feel that you do not carry the capacity to lead at this level." And after all of that work uh that I had put into this career path to move relatively quickly, might I add, uh it all kind of came crashing down. I had two choices to resign or to take a staff position at another uh campus. Uh my wife Britney and I were in a position where we knew the goodness of God but had not been tested in our ability to believe it. I went into identity crisis. I was what I did. And at this point, I was told that what I did was not enough. So, I wasn't enough. My wife carried the leadership of our home for months. I just called David McQueen and I told him what had happened. I didn't know what to do. I said, "David, my I feel like my life is falling apart. We're about to lose the house." We were in financial strain and I told David uh at my lowest I said would you help me find a job and it was a day or two later Jeffrey Turner had called and asked me to share with him the story and said you know um it's interesting we have a role here that we have been looking for someone and I'm curious if you'd be interested in interviewing uh for our student pastor position and without talking to my wife. I said, "Well, we'll need to pray about it." But yes, after Britney and I had fasted, I I felt the peace to resign my post at this church and uh pursue the opportunity back in Abalene. Today I find myself uh a better part of a you know just over a year into my role at Beltway and I can confidently say my wife would tell you it has been the greatest season of ministry in my entire life. God didn't make that season in Arizona good, but he used it to bring us home. And man is it good. I am so grateful for the faith that our own leadership here walked in to give me a second chance. And I'm at the place now where I can thank God for knowing what I needed in a season of failure to get to the end of myself and find the beginning of his plan for my life. Failure is not final. Jesus's grace is.

And what I love about Daniel's story is I I've known Daniel since he was like five. And I've watched him live his life. And I that season was pretty heavy, hard, and now he's here. And God is doing incredible things in our student ministry. And I got two girls in there who every week get to go in there and know more about their identity and hear more about the calling God has on them and see what it looks like to be a believer and chase after Jesus in a world that in like pushes teenagers far away from that. Like I love it. He could have very easily let failure be the end of what God had for him and he didn't. And I love that because if we grab hold of a truth that failure is not final, the grace of Jesus is, it changes the way we live.

And we see that in a person I want us to look at, Peter. We talked about it already, but open up your Bibles to Luke chapter 22. We're going to camp out there. We're going to be in a lot of texts over the next like 20 minutes. So find a Bible, open it up to Luke 22, and then uh while you're turning there, let me kind of tell you where we're at in the narrative of scripture. So like Jesus is I mean just he's at the very end of his time his time before he goes to the cross and he's had the his last supper with the disciples and he had the whole conversation with them about the the communion and how he's going to be like his body is going to be broken and his blood is going to be shed and they've had all that and they've gone over and uh and they're they're about to go pray in the Mount of Olives. This is all about to happen. But at the end of this dinner, Jesus looks at Peter and he says this to him.

"Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you that he might sift you like wheat. But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers."

And Peter said to him, "Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death."

Jesus said, "I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day until you deny three times that you know me."

And we often when we tell this story, we jump to the end where where Jesus looks at Peter and he says, "Hey, before the rooster crows, you're going to deny me three times." And we miss the part where Jesus like really talks to Peter. He looks at Peter and he tells him, "Peter, I I've been praying for you." And that when you turn again, you will strengthen your brothers. Like that is incredible encouragement from Jesus to Peter. And he says that and then and then Peter says like, "Hey, Jesus, no matter what, I I'll go with you to prison. I'll go I'll go all the way to death with you." And Jesus looks at Peter and he says, "Peter, you won't like you before the morning, you will deny me three different times."

And I think about this story and I think about Peter and and we can often go, "Well, maybe Peter just didn't love Jesus enough." Peter loved Jesus. Peter gave up his life for Jesus. Jesus calls Peter. Peter leaves everything. He leaves a profession. He leaves a family. He lives a very different life. Peter loved Jesus. The problem in this story is not Peter's lack of love for Jesus. It's Peter's trust in Peter. We easily step into failure when we trust ourselves more than we trust Jesus. When I was a youth pastor, I would always have parents who I mean I were great, but they would look at me and they would say, "My kid would never wrong. Your kid would your kid did." And one of the greatest failures that we see or one of the greatest opportunities for failure in our lives is when we say like, "I would never. I could never." And there is a healthy fear that we should have of our own sin nature. You know why? Because we all have a sin nature. And the reality is as soon as we get to the point that we trust us and that trust goes above the trust of Jesus and a trust in Jesus and his grace, we open ourselves up to opportunities to make mistakes.

And then we get this interaction with Jesus and Peter and and Jesus tells Peter, "You're going to deny me three times." And then we fast forward in the story, but we forget. Sometimes when we read scripture, we forget timelines. The moment that Jesus has this conversation with Peter to the moment we're about to get to where Peter fails is hours. It's not days. It's not weeks. Peter didn't have time to like get frustrated with Jesus. He didn't have time to get soured on Jesus. He didn't have times that like he could grow bitterness with Jesus. It is hours from Jesus look I mean Peter looking at Jesus and going I would die for you to this moment right here in Luke 22:54.

"Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest's house. And Peter was following at a distance. And when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them. Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, 'This man also was with him.' But he denied it, saying, 'Woman, I do not know him.' Oh, I went too far. Sorry. This man was also with him. 'Woman, I do not know him.' Him. And a little later someone else saw him and said, 'You you also are one of them.' And Peter said, 'Man, I am not.' And after an interval of about an hour, still another insisted, saying, 'Certainly this man also was was with him, for he was for he too is a Galilean.' And Peter said, 'Man, I do not know what you're talking about.' And immediately while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembering the saying of the Lord that how he had said to him before the rooster crows today you'll deny me three times. And he went out and he wept bitterly."

Peter still followed Jesus. You know how many other disciples did? One. We didn't even know the name of that disciple. In John 18, it just says that another disciple and Peter followed Jesus. And in Matthew and Mark, we're told that everyone's scattered whenever this moment happens when Jesus is arrested and taken to the high priest's house. Everyone leaves, but Peter still followed Jesus. Like we we get to the end where where Peter denies knowing Jesus three times, but we miss out on the part that like Peter still followed.

And imagine Peter's headspace. Peter has followed Jesus, given up his life for Jesus, and then at a dinner with Jesus, Jesus looks at Peter and goes, "You're going to deny me." Not once, not twice, but three times. Imagine what that does to Peter. Peter says, "I would die for you." And Jesus says, "Oh no, you'll deny even knowing me." And then Peter watches as a guy he knew, a guy he had lived life with, goes and betrays Jesus. He sees Judas give Jesus up and then he watches Jesus be arrested and paraded to the high priest's house. Imagine what is going through Peter's mind and he is reeling and in this moment of like everything falling down around him. Peter distances himself from the very thing that he needed most. We all do that. We all tend to pull away from what we need most. Peter does follow at a distance, but he's pulling back. And for us, often whenever things get chaotic in our lives. We do the opposite of what we need. When the marriage stuff is a mess, instead of leaning into things of faith, we pull back. When when parenting teenagers gets chaotic, so every day we pull back. Whenever we need the things of faith the most, we distance ourselves. We we might still do the church thing on Sundays or Thursdays and then, you know, may occasionally serve, but like really whenever we get to difficult places and crises, that is the place we're supposed to lean into things of faith at the greatest. And our natural inclination is to do what Peter did, which is pull back.

And he sits down by the fire and he has a young servant girl look at him and go, "Hey, you were with him." And Peter looks at her and he goes, "No, I wasn't." Then he has somebody else go, "Hey, you were one of them." Notice it doesn't say, the first girl says, "You were with him." The second one says, "You were one of them." It it goes to an identity place like you were one of the Jesus people. He goes, "No, no, I wasn't. No, I'm not." And then you go even deeper and somebody goes, "Hey, you're a Galilean." He goes to his identity and no, that is not who I am. Each of these questions goes deeper into identity to Peter like you were with him. You were one of them. That is who you are. And every time Peter goes, "No, that's not me." And then the rooster crows and immediately he looks at Jesus. You imagine that look. Okay, man. I get it because I've gotten it when I was growing up for my parents. I've given it to my kids. Like that look of like, yeah. But in this moment, I don't feel like Jesus is looking at Peter going, "You idiot, I told you. Told you you were going to do this. Told you you were going to fail." That's just not the character and nature of our God. What I believe he was doing in this moment is looking at Peter and going, "Hey, I told you, but like this isn't the end of your story." Because what Peter could have done in that moment is just ran and Jesus looks at him. They make eye contact and they're going to get connected later on that we're about to get to. I don't believe when Jesus and Peter make eye contact it is so that Peter feels shame. I I think that it is because Jesus is looking at Peter to go, "Hey, this isn't the end, buddy. Some of you need to hear. It's not the end. You have not gone too far. The grace of Jesus is abundant."

And so the rooster crows and they make eye contact and then Peter weeps and he feels broken and he regrets obviously what he's done. And we we can feel regret over our failures and stay stuck instead of stepping into something better. Peter weeping was not enough. Peter needed restoration. It wasn't just enough that he was sad over his mistake. Peter needed something to call him out of that place. Not just to be sad and broken about his failure, but called into something more. Failure isn't final. The grace of Jesus is.

And that's how we see Jesus wrap up this story over in John 21. So, flip over a little bit. Go to John 21. And we see Jesus restore Peter. We see that the end of Peter's story was not denying Jesus three times. It was something so much greater.

"Just as day was breaking, Jesus stood on the shore. Yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. And Jesus said to them, 'Children, do you have any fish?' And they answered him, 'No.' And he said to them, 'Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you'll find some.' So they cast it. And now they were not able to haul it in because of the quantity of fish."

After Peter's greatest failure, notice what he does. Goes back to his old life. What the enemy wants us to do in the midst of our failures is to go back into who we used to be, to make the same decisions we used to be, to be the same person that we used to be. And that's what Peter does. He goes and he he begins to do his old life. He starts fishing. And then we see Jesus show up to Peter. I think that's important. It wasn't that Peter went and chased after Jesus. Jesus showed up for Peter. And they had already seen him. Jesus already revealed himself twice. And then Jesus shows up. They don't recognize him. And he yells out at them and he calls a bunch of grown men children, which I don't know if you've tried that, tried to call a grown man a child. Doesn't go well. And then he asks a bunch of fishermen if they've caught any fish. If you if you want to offend a fisherman, ask them if they've caught any fish when they have not caught any fish. And so they say no. And Jesus says, "Well, throw your net on the other side." And then all of a sudden they pull in this haul that is so big they can't even pull the fish into the boat.

"The disciples whom Jesus loved therefore said to Peter, 'It is the Lord.' And when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment, for he was stripped for work, and threw himself into the sea. The other disciples came in the boat dragging a net full of fish, for they were not far from land, but about 100 yards off. And when they got out on land, they saw a charcoal fire in place with the fish laid on it and bread. And Jesus said to them, 'Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.' So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore full of large fish, 153 of them. And although there were so many, the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, 'Come and have breakfast.' Now none of the disciples dared to ask him, 'Who are you?' They knew it was the Lord. And Jesus came and he took bread and he gave it to them. So with the fish, this was now the third time that Jesus revealed to the disciples after he was raised from the dead."

I love that John is always going to be John. He begins this by saying the disciple whom Jesus loved, which is hilarious to me. He does it all throughout John. John knew who he was. And then John tells us this interesting thing that Peter does. They're they're on the water. John tells Peter, "Hey, this is this is the Lord." And Peter jumps in the water and starts swimming the hundred yards to shore. I don't know if you've seen a boat and a human race. Usually boat beats human and Peter for some reason jumps in the water, swims to shore. Then when they get to shore, they begin to sit down and Jesus notice scripture tells us that he he has everything ready and still tells them to go get the fish from go get the fish from the the boat. And what does Peter do? He goes by himself. It seems like from scripture and he goes to get the fish out of the boat. And it feels like John is pointing these two things out to to show us that in this moment, Peter is trying to prove himself to Jesus. I can relate. It is easy for me in times of failure when I've made a mistake to double down on me and to prove why I deserve grace, prove why I deserve mercy, prove why I deserve the favor of the Lord. And in this moment, it feels like Peter is trying to prove himself to Jesus. But Jesus showed up for Peter before Peter knew Jesus was there. Jesus provided breakfast before Peter needed breakfast. Jesus didn't need Peter to prove anything. Jesus was inviting Peter into something. He was inviting Peter into a process of restoration. And he chooses to restore him in a very similar way to Peter failed. So he he sits by a charcoal fire and two times in all of scripture do we see the words that are used in that. It is just in Luke 22 and John 21. The fire that Peter made the mistake at and failed and denied Jesus three times and the fire that Jesus sat around with Peter and restored him. You think that was on on purpose? The only two times in scripture that we see that is this moment.

"Our text goes on. When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?' And he said, 'Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.' And he said to him, 'Feed my lambs.' And he said to him a second time, 'Simon, son of John, do you love me?' And he said to him, 'Yes, Lord, you know I love you.' And he said to him, 'Tend my sheep.' And he said to him a third time, 'Simon, son of John, do you love me?' And Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, 'Do you love me?' And he said to him, 'Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.' And Jesus said to him, 'Feed my sheep. Truly, truly I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.' This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God. And after saying this, he said to him, 'Follow me.'"

And we can read this story and this interaction between Jesus and Peter. And it can feel like at at one part is is Jesus patronizing Peter? Is he like shaming him in front of everyone else? No. Jesus is using this moment to restore him in the manner that would be required. Peter failed publicly. Jesus restores him publicly. Peter failed three times. Three different times he was asked, "Do you know Jesus? Are you a part of Jesus?" And three times he said no. Three times he is restored by Jesus because Jesus knew that if the if the early church was going to go where it needed to go, it needed Peter to stop fishing. And what some of us need to hear today is this. Stop fishing. Stop being who you used to be. Walk in who you're called to be. You need to sit by the fire with Jesus and let him go. Hey, this is who you are, not that. You're not a fisherman. You have a calling on your life, a destiny that you have that is different than that. And the early church needed Peter. Jesus said, "This is the rock I'm going to build my church on." It needed Peter to get off the boat and get into the world to take the gospel where it needed to go. And for some of us, we're stuck fishing, sitting by the fire of our own shame. And the invitation of Jesus is, "Hey, I see you. I have a calling for you. I have a destiny for you. Just stop fishing." And Jesus uses this moment to restore Peter into the place that he needed to be if he was going to be who God called him to be. Forgiveness clears our past. But restoration sends us into our purpose. It isn't just that the moment ended with Peter being sad about his mistake around the fire. The story doesn't end with Peter wept bitterly. It doesn't just end with Peter being sad about his failure. He had this moment of restoration, being restored into the calling that God had for him. And each of us when we fail, we need restoring into his calling. Sometimes it's not even our failures that pull us from our calling, but somebody else's failures that pull us from our calling. But we still go back into fishing, into our old life when God says, "Hey, I have something greater for you."

And I want to show you a little bit about what that looks like. So, I grew up in a small town um in a Baptist church and I was introduced to Jesus and I was given a foundation of who the Lord was. But as I continued to grow, there was a hunger. Um, and there was something missing. I just didn't quite know what it was. Then I go into college and there was a life circumstance that kind of shifted and kind of rocked my world a little bit and I was left in a pretty painful place. And in that pain, the Lord came and encountered me in a way that I had never experienced before. Um, I was introduced to Holy Spirit and it brought an intimacy and a passion for the Lord that I had never uh that I'd never experienced before. I remember what it was like just feeling the pursuit of the lover of my soul. And I became I remember the quiet place being so tangible and it's like I could feel Jesus right next to me. And in that there was such a passion to just go out and share the gospel to whoever would know and whoever would listen. I was just hungry for people to know the Lord. As I continue on in life, I uh got I met someone. I got married. I had kids. And in that place, um I slowly begin began to fade away into the background. Um as the time went on, I began to isolate. I began to hide um and pain continued to come um in waves that distanced me more from from the Lord than pushing me towards the Lord, which what it should have done. A year and a half ago, my life was completely turned upside down. I entered into one of the hardest trials of my entire life. in every place, every piece of identity that I had put on on who I was and what my purpose was, it was it was either being ripped or shaken from me. And I I was in a place where it's like I had no idea who I was. And I had distanced myself so far from the Lord. I I was just in so much pain, and so much darkness. I didn't know what else to do. And in the fire of trial, by the grace of God, rather than running further away from him, I finally turned and I looked to him and he came and he encountered me in a way that is so tender to my heart. You know, there was this place where I had just put on this guilt and shame because I I've tasted this before. I knew who Jesus was. And the fact that I had allowed life and circumstance to numb me or turn me away from the true source of sustenance, the true source of uh life and all the good that it has to offer. It wasn't a I just was felt so ashamed like Jesus, I knew you before and I'm sorry that I turned and that I wasn't with you in it. Every time I sit with him, it's never been a where have you been or how could you have done this. It was a the first time I sat down before the Lord, I just remember him saying like you're back. I had found myself in a very isolated place. I didn't have anyone around me. Um not because of anyone else but myself. I had chosen to isolate. I had people who I could have gone to but I it was me who wasn't reaching out to them. That I was in a place of not knowing where to go but knowing that I needed people. I remember sitting in front of a friend of mine and she was sharing a season of life where she was in the trenches as well and she was really hard and it she was just in a really hard season as well and she was just longing for a community, longing for a connection. I was just sitting and it was like, "Hey, like I need that too. Let's start something. Let's start a life group." And it was just the idea like, "Hey, where two or more are gathered, then the Lord can like the Lord shows up." She had a friend, I had a friend, and I just started a life group. And it was all birthed in a place of just wanting to create space for the Lord and a just a hunger to connect not only to Jesus, but to connect with people in our pursuit with the Lord. Because when you go after it with people, it's just different versus whenever you go after it alone. Yes, he's there. But when you add in number, when you add and you go after it together, he honors his name in a way that is incredible. My encouragement to you would be you are not uh defined by your circumstance. He can use anyone. If he can use me, he can use you.

I love Reagan said in there that that interaction she had with Jesus. She's coming in feeling shame and he's just going, "Hey, I love you. I missed you." And I don't know if Reagan I think she was in here. Reagan, are you in here? Usually sit over there. You're over there. Hey, I just I want to tell you how proud I am of you. I uh first of all, it's vulnerable to tell your story, but I just want you to know how much it means to me that you are who you are. And what y'all don't ever see at the South Campus is right before I come up to preach, I come in that back door because I have to go to the bathroom before cuz the worst thing in the world is getting up here and needing to go to the bathroom. But I do that right before I preach and I walk right in those doors to South Campus. And what none of you see is Reagan Preston on her knees in that back hallway every single week. And I just want to tell you how much it means to me cuz I know the season you went through and that you didn't let that season pull you away and instead push you forward into the calling that God has for you is everything. That's the gospel. That is the reality that that the grace of Jesus wins and that's the reality for all of us. It is that is the grace of Jesus wins.

And I used Reagan's testimony. I actually stole it from released retreat because I saw it and I said, you know what? I would like to use that. But I also wanted to just take a second because I think that um I think one of the things, let me just talk to the girls, that you're not always great at is prioritizing you. And we have an opportunity for you in a few weeks to go to released. And it is tremendously easy for you to come up with every reason in the world to not go to released. There is always something. There's always something with kids. There's always something with a spouse. There's always something with work. But testimonies like the one that Reagan just shared are are prevalent. Testimonies like Peter's restoration, like released is that opportunity for you to chase after Jesus. And I'll tell you this, it is worth your kids being with someone else for the weekend. It is worth it for you to make sure that you are chasing after Jesus. You are experiencing the Holy Spirit for you. So don't miss an opportunity for you to experience the Lord because of whatever reason that might come up. There will always be a reason. I'll tell you this. I promise you if you go to release and you do not experience the Lord, you email me and I'll give you your money back. It is worth it. It is powerful the way God moves.

And it's so easy for us to to get stuck. It's easy for us to get stuck in a million ways, million reasons. And when we let failure be the thing that sticks us, it disqualifies us. And Jesus meets us in that place and calls us to our purpose. If Peter stayed stuck in just crying about his sadness, he wouldn't ever been who God needed him to be. So what does that look like really quickly?

Stop hiding. Failure loses its power when we bring it into the light. This is not in my notes because this is recent. But I have a group of men who I do life with that when I'm struggling, I go to them. And last night, I was in a state where I was feeling anxious about some things and I could feel myself starting to spiral. And I had two options. Sit in it or bring other people into it. It took me 10 seconds to send them a text and go, "Guys, I'm really struggling." And I could feel myself spiraling. I didn't even need their response. When I pulled it into the light, I could begin to feel the peace of bringing that stuff into the light. It's because scripture says, "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." Stop hiding in failure. Bring it to the light. Have people around you who you can confess it to and that you can rely on.

Stop striving. God shows his power in our weakness. Guess what? You're weak. He knows he's God. We don't have to prove ourselves just like Peter didn't have to jump in the water and swim a 100 yards to shore. We don't have to prove that we deserve his grace. We don't have to prove that we deserve his love. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I'll boast all the more gladly of my weakness so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." We are weak. It is our very weakness that reminds us how desperately we need the Lord. And if we stay stuck in trying to prove ourselves, we will never get to where God has us.

Stop settling. Step into your calling. Don't stay stuck by the first fire. Sit at the second one. Don't stay stuck in the in the place that we are looking at all the ways we haven't measured up. Step into who God has you to be. You know what God says you are? See what kind of love the father has given to us that we should be called children of God. And so we are that we should be called children of God.

Failure is not final. It's not the final word. The grace of Jesus is. And we can look nowhere else except the cross to be reminded of that. The cross and the resurrection prove Jesus is greater than our greatest failure. You cannot outfail the grace of Jesus. His grace is sufficient for you. Let's pray.

God, we thank you for your grace. Thank you for your kindness. God, we thank you that you don't leave us stuck at the first fire, but you come to us. I love that you showed up to Peter. You showed up to Peter to restore him in the same way that he had failed so that he might be who you called him to be. Would we not stay stuck at the first fire? Would we know and walk in the reality that failure is not final? Your grace is. It's your name we pray. Amen.