Transcription
So Among Us has become an extremely popular game recently. Literally everybody's been playing it, including politicians. That's how big the game is.
But you know what? I hate Among Us. I hate it. I hate the game, but not like Among Us in general. I hate solo Among Us. Solo Among Us with randoms is the absolute worst way to play the game.
And I have to play solo because all my friends hate the game. They played it for like two days. One of them never got Imposter, so he stopped playing. And then everybody else stopped playing because they'd rather play Fall Guys. So since all my friends hate Among Us, I have to play with randoms.
And when you play with randoms, it's like playing basketball but no one can use their legs, and you just shoot from wherever you are and you try to reach the ball if it's near you. That's the best way I can explain it.
The first reason solo Among Us sucks is because you have to use the text chat instead of being able to defend yourself or accuse someone with your voice. You gotta type it out. And while you're typing out your long list of reasons of why you're not the Imposter, everybody already voted you out because one dude said you're sus. That's literally how every solo Among Us lobby works. One dude's like, "Where was the body?" And then someone else is like, "I don't know, the room, but it's like to the top left, bottom right." And then another guy's like, "Blue's kind of sus." And everybody votes blue. And usually, I'm blue, so I get screwed.
The second reason solo Among Us sucks is because of the people that you're playing with. You're now playing with your friends who have a working brain and are able to add two plus two. The people that find their way to the public lobbies are either five years old or their brain hasn't developed past the point of a five-year-old's brain. I don't know what these people are doing. Some dudes spending three hours trying to do the task where you literally just flick leaves, and he's trying to blow on the screen. For all I know, one guy in my lobby keeps pressing the emergency meeting button, literally says nothing, and then doesn't vote.
I had a guy who in every meeting would say, "Kill me, I want to die. I will stand on the vent in electrical. Please come kill me." And he literally did that. And he didn't do any tasks. He was just waiting for his death. I couldn't believe it. Dude thinks if you die in the game, you die in real life.
I had one person press the emergency meeting button to tell everybody to wear party hats next game because it was his birthday. Bro, shut the f*** up. F*** your birthday. I could really give a f*** if it was your birthday while we're trying to figure out who's trying to murder us all. I can't believe these are the people I have to play with.
But there is one good thing about solo Among Us, and that's that I am an amazing Imposter. And Among Us with my friends, I suck at lying when people question me. But with randoms, I don't even have to say s***. Half the time, they just vote each other out, and I just kill everybody. It's great. So that's like the one thing I like about solo Among Us, but everything else sucks.
I hate all the randoms I've ever played with, and I bet they think they're smart. I bet half these people playing Among Us have dreams of opening law firms now, thinking that they're the best lawyer ever because they said someone was sus once, and that person was actually the Imposter. You know how f***ed up murder cases are gonna be now? They're gonna ask the jury, "Yo, jury, who do you think is guilty?" And they're gonna be like, "We think the judge is kind of suss." And they're gonna throw the judge in jail. That probably won't happen, but with the way s*** is going, it just might.
But yeah, that's my Among Us rant. Dumbass game because my friends will play. Please, if anyone out there is watching, let me join your games because I can't keep going with these randoms. I'm gonna lose my f***ing mind if someone makes you wear a party hat for the birthday one more time. But thanks for watching my rant, and as always, have a great f***ing day. [Music]