Transcription
We're going to go through 17 ADHD hacks that actually work, right? And how do you know that they actually work? Do these things that you do?
Tried them all. Tried and tested all of them.
Really?
Well, having spoken to 250 odd people now on the podcast, uh, and thousands of people at events, these are the ones that keep on coming up. Some of them are quite obvious, and some of them are a bit out there and a bit quirky, but often they're the ones that I feel work the best.
And then we've got some user ones as well. People have sent some in at the end.
Yeah, some user-submitted ones at the end. I just feel like a lot of ADHD hacks that already exist out there must be written by neurotypicals, 'cause they don't work. And I mean ones that just advise you to buy another notebook, for example.
I listened to that and I had so many notebooks, um, that had the first page filled out and then abandoned.
Um, or does that not work? Why do no, why? What is what is the fantasy of a new notebook that ADHD people fall for all the time?
Well, they're so fun to buy. I think you get a bit of dopamine when you're in the shop or you're on Amazon and you see the colorful new notebook, and it does make you feel good in the moment because it, it, it's like, "Oh, I'm taking steps to improve my life," and that feels good. I think that's the same reason people join a gym.
Uh, but once it, a bit of time passes and you're over that honeymoon period, and you've done the first to-do list, then you just discard it and it joins your 50 other notebooks.
It's a bit like doing that Sunday healthy shop, where you're like, "Right, I'm starting my diet tomorrow. I'm going to go for this big healthy shop," and then the next day you don't go to the gym and you go and buy more ice cream.
Yeah. Like, we, we decide to go on a health kick, so we buy all of the supplements. Uh, and I still have a cupboard full of supplements at home. You know, all the vitamins, they've all gone out of date. I've tried all the hacks that neurotypical people tried me told me to do, um, and none of them worked. So, I think this episode hopefully will go through 17 that are tried and tested by people who actually have ADHD, um, to really benefit the audience.
And then afterwards, user-submitted ones, which are absolutely genius. Even more genius than the other ones, hopefully.
Yeah, they really are out of the box, those ones. Um, but yeah, genius. So, we'll get to those at the end.
Yeah, they're really, really fun. Right, should we start counting down from 17?
Yes.
So, yeah, start with 17, and we're going for bracelets.
Yeah. Yeah. So, this one's really beneficial, actually. Um, so anyone will have a time of the day when their brain is at its most optimal. My brain is best in the evenings, and it's very sluggish in the mornings. So, I take advantage of nighttime brain to help out morning brain. And in the evening, when my brain is good and focused, I think of five high-priority tasks that need to be done the next day. Five tasks that are important for progressing the podcast, for example. And I write each task down on a little rubber bracelet. And when I wake up in the morning, I put all five bracelets on because, first, that acts as a memory jog. It reminds me of those five tasks. And as I go through the day and I complete each task, I then take off the corresponding bracelet from my wrist, put it in a bowl. And if I fill up the bowl, if I complete all five tasks, then I reward myself. For example, I buy something off my Amazon wish list.
So, I gify it as well.
Yeah, I had other imagination of what you, other things you might do to reward yourself.
That's when I do six.
Yeah. Um,
And a bonus idea for the bracelets is if you put a load of the bracelets on top of your washing machine. When you put your washing machine on, you can put a bracelet on, too.
And having the bracelet on with "washing machine" written on it will remind you that you need to empty the washing machine.
Great. All right. Okay. Number 16. Body doubling.
Yeah, body doubling. I think most people would have heard of body doubling. Um, so I'll get that one out of the way first. Body doubling is like this, uh, really interesting phenomenon where if you bring somebody into your physical, now, your surroundings, you somehow sort of feed off their energy. Um, and it enables you to get over that procrastination hump. It enables you to start the task that otherwise you might struggle to do if you were on your own. For example, if you are struggling to start tidying your flat, that could be really hard. If you invite a friend over and someone's just sat on your sofa, then suddenly their mere presence in your proximity gives you the energy to to to start the task and to get the cleaning done. And it can be done. It doesn't have to be face-to-face. Also, if you're struggling to get through your emails in the morning, you could call up your body double and you could both be virtually on, on a Zoom call together. And just knowing that there's someone on the computer screen next to you sort of watching you do your emails, it creates that accountability that, that gives you the energy because you don't want to kind of let that person down. You sort of want to show that you're capable of doing something, and that other person being there gives you that accountability that enables you to do the task. So, yeah, body doubling, really effective.
Is that something you do with your partner? Just having her there helps.
It really helped me write my first book. Uh, funnily enough, I always struggled to write when I was on my own. I locked myself away in my office thinking that's what I've been told to do by neurotypicals, like go where there's no distraction. But when I was on my own in a room, I was easily distracted. Um, and there was no motivation to do it. But when I was in a room with my partner, or when she wasn't available, I took myself off to a co-working space. Um, so I took myself off to a place where there were loads of people doing work. I didn't need to talk to anyone, but just the fact that I was in someone else's presence gave me that motivation. I fed off their energy, and it enabled me to get the task done.
That's really, that's interesting. I've heard it works for a lot of people. It's funny when, when I first heard body doubling, I thought it was like in a movie where you have like an ass double, and it's like you don't go to work, you send someone who looks like you to go to work, but it's not that.
That's a different podcast.
Body doubling. Okay. Number 15, frozen chopped vegetables.
Yeah. So, really simple. I, I've lost track of the amount of money I've lost by buying fresh fruit and vegetables, thinking I'm going to go on a health kick, putting them in my fridge, and then I check my fridge a week later, and they're there, moldy, smelling disgusting.
Um, a really simple change is just buying pre-chopped frozen vegetables. They don't go off. Um, and it just takes away a lot of that friction of of cooking healthily as well because you've got healthy fruit, you've got healthy veg in the freezer. So when you want to make a nice dinner, it's already there and it, it takes away a lot of that. So it's healthy and it saves you a lot of money because they take, they don't really go off.
So it's about making your food as accessible as possible. And if even if that means spending a little bit more on the food in the first instance, because frozen pre-chopped veg can be a bit more expensive than fresh, but if it means you're actually going to eat it, then I think it's so worth the extra money.
And also, sometimes there's no shame in buying kids' pre-chopped food. You see that quite a lot in supermarkets because it might be a bit more expensive, but if it's pre-chopped in a packaging that is one portion, the chances of you eating that before it goes off is also going to outweigh, I think, the, the, the extra cost that you'll be spending.
Yeah, that's a really good one. That was number 15. So, number 14, toothbrush.
Yeah, number 14. So, this one is a bit controversial, but I think it's really important. Many people with ADHD really struggle with hygiene, particularly brushing their teeth. Um, they could be lying in bed at night doom-scrolling social media and suddenly they forget that they need to brush their teeth, or they're aware of it and the, the, the task of getting up is too much. So, they just don't. Um, and I think just having a, either your main toothbrush or a disposable toothbrush next to your bed on your bedside table at all times, um, can be really beneficial because even if you don't use toothpaste, which I would recommend, like fluoride is better, but it's better than not doing it at all. Just having a toothbrush next to your bed so you can just give them a quick brush just before you fall asleep, gets the job done. Less chance of fillings and tooth decay.
Genuine question. Why do people with ADHD forget to brush their teeth?
A lot of the time, it's just a memory issue. Unless there is a pressing issue in their mouth, like tooth decay or toothache, that is there bringing the issue into their now because there's a reminder, it's just not something we're interested in doing. There's no dopamine in brushing your teeth. So, it just gets pushed to the back shelf in our mind. And even when we do remember to do it, the thought of carrying on. So, scrolling social media or just falling asleep if we can, is just so much more enticing, and it's the path of least resistance. Anything that is high effort, low dopamine, like brushing your teeth, it just gets left behind.
Mhm. I guess maybe like with like hyperfocus and things like that, people forget to eat, drink, brush teeth because they're so focused on what they're doing and then they just pass out.
Yeah. Having a toothbrush next to your bed, maybe some floss as well. Get the job done just before you fall asleep. It's a little bit gross, but what's more gross is not doing it at all and then having tooth, an expensive dentist bill down the line.
True. Your partners will thank you for it.
Yes.
And your dentist will hate you for it.
Exactly.
Uh, right. Number 13, clothes bins.
Yeah. So, this one was a game changer for me. So, I put three bins in my wardrobe and I labeled the first one as "dirty," where I put my dirty clothes, the ones that need to be washed. The second bin is "clean clothes" that are clean, ready to be hung up. And the third bin are clothes that are not clean, but they're not dirty enough to be washed. Essentially, clothes that I can wear again.
Okay, that's a good one. 'Cause I get that mine are all mixed up and just, I didn't real, I've got a very poor sense of smell, and I didn't realize that smell can travel from clothing to clothing. Yeah, you get the musky smell. It ends, you end up without the bins, you end up just throwing stuff on the floor. The doom pile grows and escalates. These bins, super easy to throw them into. Big labels on each one. Save yourself a lot of, uh, money on washing clothes that don't need to be washed.
Smells like contagious in the clothes world. It's like COVID for clothes.
Yeah. Yeah.
Wow. Mad. Uh, okay. Number 12. This one's my personal favorite. Yours is number one. This one's great. Chargers.
Yes. So again, this one, uh, will stop you ever running out of phone battery. Everyone spends time in different areas of their house. It could be in the kitchen, on the dining table, on the toilet, wherever it is. Always make sure you've got a phone charger in every single location. So wherever you are, you can always make sure your phone's charged.
Okay, number 11. This is an interesting one. I have no idea what it means. And this is productivity hacks. Icebergs.
Oh, yes. And this is, this is actually one of my favorites, and the one that I think really helps me manage this podcast. Is everyone in their life will have big tasks that need to be done. Think of them as icebergs. The trick to getting through them and avoiding overwhelm is really breaking those icebergs down into ice cubes where possible.
Ice cubes.
Yeah, exactly. And I think it's, it's so important. Is you can get easily overwhelmed when you look at a big task and you try to think of it in its entirety and think, "Oh, that's such a big, daunting project." For example, when I clean my flat, the, the idea of cleaning the whole flat is daunting. Um, but if I really break the big iceberg task of cleaning the flat down into ice cube tasks, like one ice cube could be just clean the sink in the kitchen. One ice cube could be hoover that part of the living room. Um, and then it's much more manageable. And some days, it's really important to recognize you might be super burnt out. And even on those days, you have to break down the ice cubes even smaller into crushed ice. And there's no shame if that's what you've got to do. You could be triggered by RSD, you could have stuff going on in your life. Some days, just turning on the Hoover or the vacuum cleaner is a task. And some days, it's really important to recognize that even an ice cube can be quite overwhelming and to have no shame in needing to break it down to even smaller tasks.
Yeah, that's a good one. Icebergs. So, the top 10. These ones are really good. Really good ones. I'm just reading it. Okay, so top 10. Number 10, two-minute rule.
Yeah. So, this is really helpful to getting over procrastination, which I think holds so many people with ADHD back. Um, rather than saying you're going to commit and do a whole task in your head, like, for example, going back to the cleaning my flat idea, rather than say, "I'm going to clean my whole flat," which is daunting, I can say, "I'm going to clean for 2 minutes," or "I'm going to exercise for 2 minutes," or "I'm going to start writing this email for 2 minutes." And a lot of the time, that enables the task to be less daunting in your head. It gets you through that procrastination hump, gets the momentum going, the dopamine builds, and you're actually able to then carry on and complete the task in its entirety.
So, you're just tricking yourself, really, into productivity.
Yeah. You're tricking yourself. You're, you're making yourself believe that it's a really small task when, in fact, it could be a little bit bigger. But you're just, that trick can be really helpful to get over that procrastination hump, get that momentum going, and then, then the brakes are off and you, you're able to do the whole task.
Yeah. Or like, "I'm just going to wash up a knife and a fork," and then you end up doing it all.
Yeah, that sort of thing. That's a clever one. This one's great, and we've got sort of visual representation of it. This one is the ideas shelf.
Yeah. So, the idea shelf, this actually saved me from burnout so many times. People with ADHD often, we get very excited about new ideas. We can buy that domain when we think that new hobby is our new purpose in life, and then a lot of the time we can realize that it's not, we abandon the project, and we can get a lot of shame and low self-esteem issues because it's yet another thing we haven't followed through.
I think to really combat that issue is to use this idea of a metaphorical idea shelf. When you get that impulsive idea, "I want to start a business," "I want to start this new hobby," "I want to jump into this new relationship," "I want to start that new job," rather than acting on that impulse straight away, like, put that idea on this metaphorical idea shelf. Don't act on it straight away. If it's still pulling on your interest strings, if you're still turning your head, looking at this metaphorical idea shelf, looking at that idea after a week, then maybe that's a signal that actually that idea is in true alignment to something you should be doing, and therefore there's less chance of you abandoning it when you do action it. I think just putting that, like, week between an idea and taking that first step can save so much energy and save a lot of people from burnout.
What is an ide, like, what is an example of someone not putting putting something on the idea shelf and it going terribly wrong?
Well, I think lots of people with ADHD, we, because we, we're at a lower level of dopamine. So when we have an idea to start a new podcast or start a new hobby or start a new candle-making business or jump into a new relationship, it, it, we get very excited in the early stages.
And often we don't give ourselves enough time to actually think and consider if that opportunity is a good fit for us and if it's in alignment with our true core passions and what we're actually interested in. And a lot of the time we say yes because it's exciting, and then we get over the honeymoon period and we abandon that relationship. That domain enters that graveyard of domains that so many of us have. We leave that job, and I think feel there's a lot of shame and self-esteem issues that come with this, this history of abandoning things time and time again. Whereas we just put a little break between the initial excitement and taking that first step, that gives us enough time to almost reflect on the opportunity and, and then decide if it is a good fit or not.
So, sort of combating the famous ADHD impulsivity.
Yeah. Trying to, impulsivity is amazing, but I think it has to be managed, and to recognize that not everything that you get excited about is worth pursuing, and it's just putting that pause, putting a break between that initial excitement and taking that first step.
Yeah.
It's good. And it's also sort of, it helps the person that you might be jumping into a plan with. Because the amount of times that I've mentioned a plan to someone who's got ADHD and they get really excited, and then when I really want to do it two days later, and they're not interested. So actually, it's quite a responsible thing to do.
Yeah. I've, I've fallen out with people in the past. People have come to me with an idea and I've gone, "That sounds brilliant. Let's do it. I'm in." And then a week later, I've lost interest. But they haven't. Yeah.
And they've put considerable time, resources, energy into the idea based on the assumption that I'm involved.
Yeah.
Um, and it's a huge amount of shame and embarrassment having to somehow either you ghost them, um, or you have to sort of say, "I'm really sorry, I've lost interest." Um, so I think, yeah, the metaphorical idea shelf is really helpful to save yourself from a lot of shame and burnout.
Number eight. Okay. Right. We're really getting into the, the, the really, really, really, really useful ones. This one, massive problem in the ADHD community, reusable shopping bags. This one's actually saved me so much money. For years, I had a cupboard in my kitchen that was full of reusable shopping bags because every time I'd go to the supermarket, I'd buy a reusable shopping bag because I had forgotten to take ones that I already had, so I had to buy another one. Ended up having too many. Um, but now I always make sure that I've got a ton of them in my car. And the extra special bit of this hack is I tell Google Maps when I'm in the supermarket car park to make my phone beep. It notifies me based on a geographical location app. You can do this in Google Maps. So when I drive into the supermarket, my phone beeps, and I've set the notification to read, "Grab a reusable shopping bag." So it reminds me, I reach over, grab a reusable shopping bag, and it saves me the money of having to buy a new one.
Yeah. And do you, do you also have that thing at home though where you've got a big cupboard full? You've already said that, haven't you? Big cupboard full of reusable bags and they all just pour out everywhere. You already did that bit, so we'll move on. Uh, this one. Oh, number seven. This is a big one. And you didn't tell me I'm going to be needing to act for this. And I've got to say something in a, as a sentence. Can I let you know tomorrow?
You can.
Yeah, it's, I think it's such, I think people with ADHD really struggle to put boundaries in place. And I think for many of us, the knee-jerk reaction can is just to say yes when we're asked to do something. And RSD comes into this, people-pleasers. We don't want to let someone down, and we ended up, we, we end up taking on too much, overwork, perfectionists. I think it can be solved by rather than saying yes straight away, we say, "Can I let you know tomorrow?" And it's a really simple reframe that, similar to the metaphorical idea shelf, it just puts a gap between the ask of your time and attention and your response to it. It gets you out of that initial fight or flight scenario where you feel compelled to say yes. And "Can I let you know tomorrow?" It just enables you to have a breather. And nine times out of 10, you can then text the person or email the person and say, "Actually, no."
Yeah, people-pleasing is a big thing, isn't it?
Oh, people. Yeah. I mean, it's huge, right? It comes up so many times in this podcast. Is the quest to avoid rejection, not have someone's approval of you taken away. RSD. Horribly painful. A quick word from our sponsor. We've all had that nightmare. You're on that final warning from that friend. If you miss their birthday again, your friendship is over. Finito. And you do miss it. Even worse, you miss their wedding, and you were giving the speech. The speech you forgot to write. I can change. You plead with them, and they say, "No, you can't." Well, actually, you can. How? Teemo app. That's how. Teemo app has organized me in a way that's made me unrecognizable to my nearest and dearest. What? ADHD. Teemo's ultimate planning partner, checking in on you to see what you need help with and what chores you need to accomplish day-to-day. The important difference is Teemo is designed by neurodivergent brains for neurodivergent brains. And you can tell it's built to adapt to your neurodivergent way of thinking and be flexible to your way of planning. And now it's even more simple with the AI planning assistant. Teemo offers an incredible new voice transcribing service, making it even easier to use. It's almost so simple that it feels like a cheat code to play life on easy mode. Give it a go and use the link in my bio for 30% off. Just a note though, this code is only applicable on the web browser, not on the smartphone. Back to the show.
Number six, don't put it down, put it away.
This one is the reason why my flat is cleaner now than it was before. Um, it's helped me a lot. I, it's so tempting to just come home from work, come home when you're stressed, whatever, and just dump whatever is in your hands wherever you are. And I still do that a lot of the time, but also I try to remind myself of this mantra, like, "Don't put it down, put it away." Put stuff in a cupboard, put stuff in a drawer, put stuff away where possible. Because when we don't do that, it's such a, almost a reflex of us to just put stuff on the coffee table, put stuff down, and before you know it, your flat is an absolute tip, and you're stood there with like so much shame and embarrassment because your flat is so dirty. Um, and just a simple mantra that try to do it as often as you can. Don't put it down. Put it away.
Number five. No, that everyone who comes in here talks about this one. Number five, cancel free subscriptions.
Yeah, it's so important when you sign up to something and you put in your card details and you sign up for the seven days or the, the month or whatever it is, like make sure you cancel it straight away because how many times I've said to myself, "I will cancel it later," and I don't, and then I check my bank balance and $10.99 has gone out, or $49.99 has gone out. As soon as you sign up to a free trial, cancel it straight away. You'll still get the time period that you have signed up for for free, but you won't get charged again. Subscribe to the free trial, go on the email, in the app settings, whatever it is for that particular thing you've signed up for, and cancel the free subscription straight away. So when that renewal, when that renewal period comes around, you don't get surprised by a charge that you've forgotten to cancel.
They make it so difficult to cancel though, don't they?
Yeah.
It's like they've got this unsubscribe or cancel button there, and it's sort of like one of those tricks where you get the cursor and it like moves and you have to just like...
Yeah. I was furious 'cause I, I won't say the name, but I signed up to a newspaper to read an article, and then to cancel, you have to phone up.
Bastards. Yeah.
And speak to someone.
That's mental. That's, that is an ADHD's nightmare, making a phone call.
Yeah. So, it still goes out of my account every month.
Really?
Yeah.
Bloody hell. They're probably making quite a lot of money, aren't they, from people falling into these traps? Maybe that's what they're doing it for, come to think of it. Um, right. Number four.
Getting quite near the end now.
This one is very similar to an Oasis song. Always look back. Bit like "Don't Look Back in Anger," but the opposite. Always look back.
So, this one saved me from losing my laptop once. Um, whenever you're on a plane, whenever you're on a train, whenever you're on a bus, whenever you're in a restaurant, whatever it is, when, when you're walking away from where you've been sitting, always look back. Always look back at where you've been sitting. Because time and time again, I didn't do that, and then I have left something behind. Like, it's a really simple thing, but always look back because the chances are you've put something in the overhead compartment, you've put something on the chair next to you, whatever, and you've forgotten it's there. Always look back.
That's a really good one. I actually went to the cinema on Sunday, and I looked back, and my wallet was there. When you watch, the, um, um, uh, "One Disaster After Another," Leonardo DiCaprio's new film.
He said, "Yeah."
Three hours. ADHD nightmare. I counted everyone in the audience like 10 times, and then all the lights as well. And it's an amazing film, but I still got bored.
What's a hack do you think for getting through a, a long film that you...
I think the best hack for watching a movie is go to the cinema because it means you're rude if you go on your phone. It's the only way I can watch films. The only way. Otherwise, I'm just, yeah, you, you're Googling characters, aren't you? You're, you're looking at the film that they did in 1987 on IMDb, and who did that, and then you're like, looking to see who wrote that. It's Matt. I often walk out of the cinema having adopted the entire character of the lead role in the film I've just watched.
Really?
Like, I adopt the personality of, of who I've, of the lead character in the film I've just watched.
People do that with taxi drivers a lot, don't they? They sort of adopt the accent of the taxi driver, which the taxi driver must get really, really insulted by. I watched "Fast Fast and Furious" once, nearly got arrested on the drive home.
You were too quick for them. You, that's funny.
Um, that's really funny. Are we in the top, top three now?
Yeah, best three.
Okay, this is real gold dust. This might make everyone a bit too productive.
Yeah.
They might have too much time.
Wipes off, wipes ADHD from the map.
Yeah. Yeah, it does. Yeah.
Then the podcast is over. [ __ ]
Uh, right. Number three. Top three. So, the bronze medal in all of this, two things at once.
So, for me, it's about really taking advantage of your moments of motivation. So, if I'm cooking dinner in the evening with my pre-shopped veg, um, I'm in a high state of motivation, and I try not to waste that. So, while I'm waiting for the vegetables to simmer, I start cleaning my flat simultaneously. So, if I've got motivation to do one task, I've probably got motivation to do something at the same time. So, I try and kill two birds with one stone when that motivation hits.
So, number number two, the penultimate, uh, the silver medal in the list. It is under one minute. Sounds like a lot of your famous Instagram content.
This one's helped me a lot. I think when you're, when you're tasked with doing something like emptying the washing machine or cleaning your flat, you sort of, you kind of give yourself a challenge to say, "Can I do it in under a minute?" Um, and a lot of the time, that just makes it so much fun and it gets you, gets you going. Or if it's like a slightly bigger task, can you do it in the time that it takes your favorite song to finish?
So, you get out Spotify, press play on your favorite song, Beyoncé, Eminem, whatever it is, press play. It's normally about three and a half minutes. And see if you can get the, the task done before the song finishes. The holy grail, the gold medal.
Drum roll for the biggest ADHD productivity hack.
This is a very important one, but also quite a serious one. Self-awareness.
Yeah. So, this, I think this is the most important ADHD hack and management tool is working on your self-awareness. Because I've said it before, I truly believe that ADHD isn't a deficit of attention. I think when someone with ADHD finds something that they're truly interested in, they don't have a deficit of attention. They have an abundance of attention. That's when someone with ADHD can become world-beating, best in the world at that thing. I think ADHD is more a deficit of self-awareness because of years and years and years of masking and pretending to be someone that you're not. I think ADHD people are the world's best actors. We're incredible at playing a character called "normal." We're so fearful of criticism and rejection, so we pretend to be someone that we're not in order to fit in. And that can feel soothing in the short term, but the long-term consequences of that is we don't have any idea who we really are. We don't have any self-awareness. So when opportunities come into your now, whether that is a new relationship or a new job or a new hobby, we can get very excited and jump on that thing and say yes to it. But we don't know if it's truly a good fit because we don't know who we really are. We have to work on our self-awareness. And we can do this really easily by asking ourselves some really basic questions like, "What happened today that made me happy? What happened today that made me sad? What happened today that I found easy? What happened today that I found hard?" And we have to be careful because sometimes the answer to those questions can be part of the mask, and we don't even know it. So, we have to pay attention to our knee-jerk reactions. These are signals that our body gives off before the masked version of us has a chance to respond.
For example, you could be reading a magazine and you see an advert for a musical theater role, and you intrinsically get really excited about that opportunity, but then you remember that your parents wanted you to be a doctor, or someone told you something on the playground when you were a kid, and you suppress that excitement towards the musical theater role. That's what I mean about a knee-jerk reaction. Those signals that your body is giving off, that's your inner child screaming out, trying to remind you of who you really are before the mask had a chance to take hold. That's the biggest ADHD hack, I believe. Working on your self-awareness, truly understanding who you really are, what you're interested in. So when an opportunity does come into your now, new job, new relationship, new hobby, you can clearly see the points of that opportunity and align it with the points of who you really are. And once someone with ADHD starts saying yes to things that are actually a good fit for who they really are, that's when they don't abandon it, that's when that relationship sticks. That job, they stay in it. That hobby becomes the next global business. That's the biggest ADHD hack is building your self-awareness and realizing that you don't need to mask. The, the version of you that you've been hiding for so long is actually the part of you that is going to give you the biggest competitive advantage, and to really lean into it. That's when you can thrive. And the consequence of not abandoning things, staying in in a relationship, becoming the best in the world at that hobby, sticking at that job, the self-esteem, the self-confidence, they compound positively as well after years and years and years of compounding negatively.
Very good answer. Nice little, uh, monologue there. It's almost as if it's your show. I feel like you're not giving me enough air time. Um, when did you become self-aware?
Um, it's a good question. So, it's a, I don't think you ever fully become self-aware. I think it's an ongoing process. Um, I'm certainly doing those exercises more now to give myself a better understanding. I think the, the, the knee-jerk reaction to say yes to things that I'm not interested in is still very much there, but I, I'm able to catch myself now.
Um, and stop myself.
And do you think there's people who are 30s, 40s, 50s, even 60s who are still not self-aware? They've been masking so much throughout their life, they don't even know who they are. They don't know where the mask ends and the real them begins.
Oh, 100%. Yeah. And it's really devastating. I've spoken to people who were diagnosed with ADHD in their 60s, 70s. I spoke to a lady at an event recently who was diagnosed, and she's 84. Really.
And she's now only starting her journey of self-awareness. And it's really sad. She's happy now, but it is a lot of grief because she's realized pretty much her whole life has been a mask. Her whole, most of her whole life was a lie. She looked back at her whole career and said she was never actually interested in accounting. She was only doing, she was only doing it because she wanted to impress her parents.
I guess the par, what your parents, what you believe your parents want from you is like almost the ultimate mask in some ways. You're doing just to make other people happy, and you don't really realize what it is that you're, you're into the point where she was in accounting for her whole life.
Yeah. And she was saying that really on reflection, and she's done a lot of self-reflection since the diagnosis recently, it's in fear of criticism and rejection. That's why she masked subconsciously. She didn't realize how much she feared being criticized and rejected. And I explained to her the 20,000 negative comments, extra negative comments that ADHD children experience. And I, when I said that to her, she visibly got quite emotional in front of me because you could see her thinking back to her childhood and, and almost replaying those comments in her head like, "You're so sensitive. You're too lazy. You're not enough. Why can't you just start the task? Why are you so weird?" Um, and suddenly her whole life made sense. And I don't think there's any particular age where it gets easier or harder to have that moment of awareness.
84.
84. And she's finally now trying to live a life that is true to what she really loves. She was saying she's finally going to theater. She always suppressed her desire for theater. And I think when I say that example about the musical theater, I think it's because I'm thinking of that story. Um, she always suppressed it because she said she was told in the past that musical theater is not something you should spend your time doing, um, and you should just work hard and get good grades and be a good accountant, and that's what she did her whole life. Um, hugely emotional for her to get that diagnosis at that age and to, to look back, and she, she honestly said half of her, the friends that she had throughout her life, um, were part of the mask. Many relationships were part of the mask. It was, she didn't realize how much her fear of criticism was controlling her life, and how much she was people-pleasing, how much she was putting other people's needs ahead of her own. Um, and she said it was her biggest desire that she could go back in time, like we were joking about earlier, and, like, tell her younger self, "Be true to who you are. Put your needs first."
Pretty courageous to look for a diagnosis at 84 as well, to learn all that stuff.
Yeah. I mean, many people at that age, it's like, well, okay, what's going to change? I mean, I've lived my whole life this way now. Is there any point in getting a diagnosis? Is there any point in realizing that I might have ADHD or autism, or I might be a bit different? I've coped until now. Um, but for her, it was really validating. In fact, she even said it was almost like closure. Um, and even though she's lived most of her life not being true to who she is, it was incredibly therapeutic to know that the, the time she has left, hopefully many more years, will be spent being true to who she really is. And she said that was the best feeling in the world. Yeah, that's, that's, that's a really nice thought. What happens if someone unmasks and they realize that they'd really like hurting people and burning stuff?
Well, the masked...
Yeah. Okay. Well, that's the last one. I think that's a fantastic list, and I feel more productive now, and I haven't even done any of them yet. Well, hopefully, it's condensed two and a half years of podcast learnings and everything that goes with that into a short episode to hopefully give people a bite-size productivity hack lesson.
Yeah, I mean, fantastic list. Now, for the fun part, the really fun part, other people's, uh, ideas, and some of them are absolutely incredible.
Yes. Yes. So, I'll just whiz, I'll just read out some of the best ADHD hacks that were sent in when I asked people to send in their ADHD hacks. Um, the first one, do not sit down. Very basic, but I think very, I guess once you sit down, it's almost like a spider web. It can trap you.
That...
You get paralyzed by it by the com, you're addicted to the comfort of being sat down.
Yeah. It's almost like a sticky spider, I guess, and you can get sucked into social media. You start doom-scrolling, and it can always be a trap. So, yeah, very much agree with that one. Do not sit down. If you've got that momentum, keep it going. Um, next one. Schedule appointments as early as possible, or else I can't focus on anything except waiting for that appointment. Yeah, I mean, that's hugely relatable. I think so many people get stuck in waiting mode if they've got something to do in the afternoon.
And the anxiety thinking about that appointment and what comes with that, social anxiety, being perfect for it, almost blocks them from being able to do anything productive in the lead-up to it, and they're stuck in waiting mode.
I was saying this the other day. There's a really funny quote I remember hearing, which is, "If you're naked and you want to feel more naked, put socks on."
Have you heard that?
No.
All goes back to all goes back to sex with you, isn't it?
Um, but the point being that if you've got an empty day and you want it to feel even more empty, arrange something at the end of the day, 'cause you're just waiting for it all day, that you can't do anything else.
Right. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I think it's a real issue. Waiting mode is, is a significant, and I think it's one of those things that will sound completely obscure to someone who doesn't have ADHD, but people with ADHD truly believe and truly feel this experience to be true.
This almost paralysis of, "Oh my gosh, I've got something to do at 4:00 p.m. Therefore, I literally cannot do anything until that thing comes around."
Yeah. It's bad. Like a Zoom call at 4:30 is like, ruins the whole [ __ ] week.
Forget to pick the kids up from school because of it. Yeah.
Box theory. When cleaning, bring a box to the room you're cleaning. If it doesn't belong in that room, put it in the box, not to the room it belongs. That way, you stay on task. Take care of box items later. So, you take an empty box into a room that you're cleaning, and you'll find, for example, say there's a dog toy in the kitchen. You put the dog toy in that box.
Right. And then you leave it there.
For as long as you want. And then you pick up the box and then you put it somewhere else. Is that what it's saying?
Yeah. I guess it's just about a quick way to clean up a room without getting overwhelmed about thinking about where all the individual items go.
Segmenting it. Yeah.
It's binary. It's like, this either belongs in this room or it doesn't. And if it doesn't, it goes in the box.
And then maybe that's another chore for another day. You wait. You are on the sofa. You're like, "Oh, I need something to do. I'll pick up that box of all that stuff, and I'll, that will be my chore for that time zone."
Yeah, it's another task, I guess. All the box ends up in my shed of shame with all of the other stuff that is too overwhelming to sort out.
Sort of sticky poor mags and stuff like that.
Yeah.
Right. Um, one here's another one. One day a week I have a smooth brain day, and I let ADHD take the wheel. No rules.
Jesus. That could get a lot of people in a lot of trouble.
Yeah. That's like basically saying, no, that's why saying nothing's illegal.
Yeah.
Do what you want.
Yeah. God.
So, that's, I guess that's just letting go, letting the brakes off, and doing what you want.
It's like that film, "The Purge."
Yeah.
That one day where anyone can break the law and do whatever they want.
Yeah. I'm sure I agree with that one. We're not advocating that anyone does anything crazy. Um, another one, this one's interesting.
Putting on shoes to get tasks done. I don't know why it works, but as soon as the shoes go on, I'm unstoppable.
So, I think it's like if you're going to hoover, don't do it barefoot. Put shoes on 'cause then you're like, in, you're in hoover mode.
Why do you think it works? Because it makes you feel you've got more of a purpose if you've got shoes on because you put shoes on. Or, or maybe it goes back to your rule of, um, you just do it two-minute rule, like you're already doing it by the, by the time you put the shoes...
On you're already halfway there.
That's true, cuz putting shoes on should be quite easy, and it should get you some motivation and dopamine to then carry on with the main task.
Oh wow, this one's very controversial. When I know I have to vacuum but can't get the motivation, I go lie flat on the dirty floor and see the toughs of animal hair flow past me like fluffy tumbleweeds. Usually grosses me out, annoys me to the point it overrides the ADHD. It's gross, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
That's a very strange one, isn't it? That's the sort of thing you could get sort of sectioned for, just lying down on the carpet.
Yeah. Well, cuz my dog goes outside every morning and does a poo, and I have to go clear it up. But sometimes if I don't feel like clearing it up, I'm not going to do that.
Go and lie on it. Go and get really close to it, I think, is what she's saying, isn't it?
Yeah. Get really, really close to the dirt so you can see it.
Yeah. I mean, if that works, then it works. But I guess you've got to be pretty good at showering. Showering as well.
Um, yeah, fair enough. This one's interesting. So, if you're struggling to clean, you invite guests over, then you have to clean, and you've got to clean fast.
Finally, a good one.
That one's really good.
I love that. It's a weird thing, isn't it? You invite someone over, and it you do get that sort of dopamine hit of like, oh, yes, now I have to clean.
Yeah. It adds urgency, right? I guess you're like, oh my gosh, this is so shameful. I'm so embarrassed. I can't let anyone see this. Tip. And and I guess it's accountability as well.
Yeah. Right. Next one. This one's really good. Um, I put on my most uncomfortable jeans and shoes, and I'm not allowed to take them off until I do the task I've been avoiding for 14,000 weeks.
Right. So, that's almost like, uh, you're probably chasing the endorphins that come with doing something really hard and horrible. A bit like an ice bath, but like a jeans bath.
I would make me >> going through pain. So, at the end when you you're chasing the feeling of taking off your jeans.
Right? Okay, this one's interesting. Um, throughout the year, I hide $20 bills around my apartment and wait until I have no money for food, so I have to manic clean and find it all.
Right. Either that person's from America, or they've really lost it if it's $20 bills.
Well, they probably lost, they've lost it all their money. Yeah, literally. Probably $20 bills.
So, go through that one again. Throughout the year, I hide $20 bills around my apartment and wait until I have no money for food. So, I have to manically clean and find it all. That's quite dangerous because if you forget where you've hidden them, then you're going to starve.
Well, I mean, this person, he says he says throughout the year, as if he does this year upon year, and he's getting himself into a position where he's almost like starving every year, where he's not progressing in his life at all. Fascinating, isn't it?
Strange way. I wonder how he figured that out as well. How did you figure out that that works? Crazy.
Good luck to him, though. Hope he doesn't starve to death.
Right. Um, so this one's very interesting. I leave my keys in the fridge so that I won't forget my lunch.
Yeah, that that makes sense, doesn't it? To some degree. So you have to go in the fridge where you you're going to eat. You're going to find your keys. Maybe a $20 bill as well. You're going to find your and then so it's it's pairing up two tasks to act as a visual reminder.
Well, like you can't leave the house. You know, keys are a very memorable thing, cuz they make a noise.
So you won't leave. You'll they'll it'll be like sort of Pavlovian conditioned in your head that when you're leaving and you don't hear the jangle of your keys, something's gone wrong. So then you're like, where are they? Oh, I put them in the fridge. Then that makes you remember the other things that are in the fridge.
I would need a bracelet that said "keys in fridge" because I would forget that I put my keys in the fridge as well.
True. Yeah. And then what was going to remind you to write "keys and fridge" on the bracelet? Another bracelet.
Ultimately, we're all quite bugged, aren't we?
Yeah. It's like it's just impossible.
Really hard. Okay. I pretend I'm on live camera all the time. Kind of like the Truman Show. I can't really explain why it works, but I don't want to look lazy in front of my fake audience. So, it helps me get stuff done.
I mean, that is almost like an an allegory for religion, isn't it? If you feel like God's always watching, you act in a particularly in a better way.
That brings us to the end of our crash course in ADHD hacks. I hope it's been very beneficial and useful to the audience. If you are listening or watching, please do try one or a few of them and let us know how you get on in the comments section. Thank you very much.