Transcription
That one-time horrific event we now call big T trauma. And and so what we began to realize is that the nervous system also can feel overwhelmed when the child is neglected. Their needs aren't met. They can't connect with anybody. So that's called little tea trauma. And what it really is is that the good stuff that should happen to you didn't happen. So it's not like anything bad happened. And it's that good stuff didn't happen. So it's almost like it's invisible trauma.
And so what we know from that is that about 80% of the population at least has little tea trauma. And and so all of a sudden when you begin to realize, oh okay, then maybe I need to look beyond just horrific events stuff which didn't happen and look beyond the fact that my physical needs were met in childhood. So therefore, I must have had a good childhood cuz we had lots of money and I was in sports and everything to look at were my emotional needs met. Were my was I able to connect with my parents securely. Did I feel safe within our neighborhood because of my skin color? All of those different things begin to cause a a person to feel unsafe, guarded, etc. Um, and so to me then what you begin to understand that you begin to understand trauma is big.
But then what people tend to do and this to me is important is they think little tea trauma means it's insignificant. Oh yeah, so my needs weren't met. No big deal. Not and it's like whoa whoa whoa. Um, so big T trauma there's about 10 characteristics that come out of that. So you're hypervigilance, you have flashbacks, all of those things which are really challenging to deal with. But there's about 10 things.
When you have little tea trauma, the the thing with little trauma is it then becomes complex PTSD. It's ongoing danger for a child, ongoing environment where your needs aren't met, where you sense that dad is angry all the time. You sense that dad's always too busy for you and isn't interested. So you're always feeling unsafe and on guard. So when you have that ongoing thing, what the child then does is a couple things. Number one, it must be my fault. So they develop a belief that I'm the problem. I'm not good enough. But then they go, I must then adapt. So I need to change cuz if I change, then maybe then dad will give me attention. Maybe then dad will want to connect with me. So then they begin all of these adaptations. So now I will just be sweet all the time and never show all of my emotions. I won't be authentic anymore because dad doesn't like it when I show any emotions. Um so you begin adapting adapting. Now I'm going to start people pleasing. Now I'm going to start wearing masks.
But what's happening is those are allowing you to survive and it's looking like they're helping. But 30 years down the road when you go to get in a relationship and you're wearing masks, you're not authentic, you're people pleasing, you've destroyed the relationship. So the adaptation that let you survive becomes a maladaptation in adult life. And so there's about 90 adaptations that happen that come out of complex PTSD versus the 10 that come out of PTSD. So is it insignificant? No. It does actually far more damage. It changes your brain. It changes your immune system, changes your nervous system, changes your relationships, how you cope, on and on. It It's got far-reaching effects on every part of your life.