Leaving the Church to follow Christ, EP.38

Welcome back everyone to the Reluctant Watchmen. I am grateful that you could be here with me today.

Today's really kind of a fun essay that I'm going to go over that I wrote about two years ago and it was entitled "Leaving the Church to Follow Christ." And I know that seems a little bit paradoxical, right? How can you leave the church when Christ is supposed to be in the church but still follow him? And I think it'll make a little bit more sense when I get in and explain a little bit about the journey that I've been on and and where my belief system has gotten today.

But this video that I wrote or this essay that I wrote was written about two years ago and I reread it and it's really, really quite interesting. There's a part where I say, "Here's kind of my articles of faith where where I've landed," and things have really shifted. Um, even in the last month or two, it's been interesting to see how my understanding of certain principles, ideas have changed a little bit. So, what I'm going to do is we're going to dive in to the first part of this essay just to give you a a sense of where I was at two years ago. So, let's dive in. All right.

So, here is the introduction to my essay entitled "Leaving the Church to Follow Christ." It has been almost two years since I started writing essays and posting them on this website. I didn't want to put my name on here for a variety of reasons, but one of them was that I didn't want any of the focus to be on me, but allow people to learn and discern with less bias. We often place too much emphasis on names and titles.

And secondly, I knew that doing so would most likely hasten my exit from the LDS or the Mormon church, and I wasn't ready for that at the time. The church handbook policy states that if I were to publicly speak up against any church doctrines, policies, or practices, I would be labeled an apostate. And you know what happens to them. In fact, in in case you don't or are not aware, in the handbook, it says you cannot publicly disagree with a church leader without receiving some type of kickback, pushback. And ironically, a leader of the church can clearly, you know, speak up against another church leader, right? We saw that, for example, with, you know, Hinckley, "I'm a Mormon," and then Nelson came out and said, "It's a victory for Satan." But if an individual does that, we aren't held to a similar standard, right? But that's just a point in case.

Um, at the time, it was really tough to be honest, to be able to write these things thinking at any point in time if I find out that a leader runs across these things that my membership in the church is in trouble. Um, I've moved past that. I'm hoping that the energy behind that has has gone. In fact, pretty sure a good majority of it has. I'm grateful for the experience, but I also am glad to move on from that.

Change can be difficult at times, especially when you start to get as old as I am. From the time I can remember, the LDS or Mormon church has always been there. Some of the earliest memories I have are playing with toys in nursery class. From that time on, the church and its culture saturated the social fabric of my life. All of my family and most of my extended family were members. All of my friends were members. It was typical to get together at least twice a week in some type of social capacity, either for worship, scouts, or other youth programs. I served a two-year mission to Spain, attended a church-run school, and married my beautiful wife in the temple. We raised our children in the church and taught them a similar path. I served in all sorts of callings and met some of the most wonderful people and made amazing friendships that remain today.

This is why choosing to leave the church and having my records removed has been one of the most impactful decisions in my life, incurring a great heartache and immense joy and peace. To avoid any ambiguity here, yes, I am no longer a Mormon. And [snorts] I'm trying to go back and just reflect on this a little bit in the moment of making this contemplate, like really thinking about that and the decision and what it meant was really tough. And I think more than anything, it wasn't the fact of, hey, my records are gone, because from a doctrinal standpoint, I have moved on. And it was having people look at you and think that you've lost your faith, that you you've lost your testimony. And to be clear, I was not having a faith crisis. I my my faith in the the gospel, in Christ, and his teachings, they were all there. But when I saw the church moving away from those teachings, it's what I call having a church crisis. The church started to move away from those teachings. And so to maintain my faith, that created the gap. It was just that the church had moved away from the teachings of Christ.

For anyone who has never been a member, this may not be that big of a deal to leave. I mean, people move in and out of religions all the time. However, certain beliefs within the LDS church are unique. To leave the church means that you have essentially thrown away your salvation and exaltation. According to one church leader, leaving means, this is from uh Brad Wilcox, by the way. He said, "Say goodbye to your whole concept of God. If you want to walk away from the church, say goodbye to anything in your life that counts or matters beyond this life."

I could go on in great detail about that talk and specifically it was a fireside that Brad Wilcox did. When people leave the church, they they don't walk away from their concept of God. The I think it's one of the most prideful things for a religion to think that they have or encapsulate the whole concept of God. And we're going to get into this a little bit actually about who I think the creator is. But it's it's incredibly prideful to think that to leave a religion, we leave behind our concept of God and we say goodbye to anything that matters in this life. That's that's just not the case. In many ways, this man said the quiet part out loud as far as the church culture is concerned. For some reason, members think that to leave the church means you forget everything you've ever learned. My experience has been just the opposite. My connection to God has grown exponentially, and those things that really matter in the eternities are becoming far more clear.

During the process of resetting my foundation of faith, I began to see God's hand in everything. I began to remove my judgment of others to see God's love for all of their children and that they're okay with us pursuing all sorts of paths in life. While I truly do love and appreciate many things I've learned in the LDS church, the words of Amy Call resonate on a very personal level with me. Amy had what is called an NDE or a near-death experience. She was LDS at the time and eventually left the church. I really connected with her description of why she left when she said, "I realized that for me to continue to thrive and to do well, coming back into it or the church almost felt like I was trying to put clothes on that were way too small for me."

Now, a lot of people will uh equate this with like a box. We put God in this box. And the church expects us to say, "Well, this is the box." And if the church doesn't expand that box or they don't have more revelation about what that means, that box of God or his truth, then the box doesn't get any bigger. But that's just not the case. There are things that I have learned about God and the nature of humanity and creation and our souls and our purpose that is so so far outside of the box of LDS beliefs and they become wonderful to me. So, I really relate this uh with what Amy said here where she said it was it was like putting clothes on that were just way too small for me and I needed I needed the space to be able to grow. And I know that there are some people that they're very happy to see the the differences in theology and doctrine from the scriptures between the church and they stay and and they remain. And I have many friends and family that still do that and that's wonderful for them. For me, uh, I have a different path and I'm excited about that path that I'm going on.

As part of Amy's NDE experience, she also asked the following question to her guide while in heaven. "What church is true?" Mind you, she was LDS at the time. Her guide kind of smiled and slowly lowered their head. The impression she received was that her question was akin to asking what kind of cheese the moon was made out of. It wasn't that her question was bad, simply misdirected giving how given how her perspective was seated in current paradigms. So just to clarify what that was or to explain a little bit more, this guide was saying looking at this and just saying what religion is true and I've heard this a lot from people who get to the other side of heaven or who come back from their de near-death experiences. And that question about well what religion is true and you would have to ask yourself, can you contain God in a religion? Can you contain God in a religion?

I really enjoyed uh another woman her her description of of who God was for her and she was taken into a vision and she saw this room and there was one group of people celebrating God in one way and there was another room celebrating God in another and so on and she saw that they were they were different in the way that they worshiped God and she was said and she was asked from her guides, "Is God in there?" and she said, "Yes." She was pulled out to see this mansion with all of these rooms in it and said, "Is God in this?" And she said, "Yes." And she pulled back even further to see the birds and the trees and was asked, "Is God here?" And she was even pulled back to see the universes and the creation itself and said, "Is God here?" And yes, God is in all of creation.

All right, continuing on. I don't share these stories to disparage anyone within the church, nor as an attempt to justify my leaving the church, but a simple fact that certain truths that have become part of who I am did not fit within the box of LDS paradigms. As part of my resignation letter, I stated how I feel I've quote come to believe that any religion that strives to bring you closer to God has truth in it. There is no perfect religion for any religious organization to preach that their belief system is the only path back to God and that a person cannot fully come unto the Savior but through their religious dogmas is the very belief that will slow or stop one's progression in the heavens. Many religions paint a picture of their path back to God. But we can only truly understand the beautiful vistas and grandeur of heaven by experiencing God ourselves.

In March of 1842, Joseph Smith published the Articles of Faith in the church's Times and Seasons newspaper. This short document outlines 13 basic doctrines, beliefs, and practices at the time. As I pondered on that list, I got the idea of writing my own personal Articles of Faith. Doing so has been quite an enlightening experience that I highly recommend to anyone. So without further delay, the following is a condensed and not comprehensive set of beliefs upon which I continue to build my foundation of faith.

Now, this is where things get kind of interesting. As I said, this essay was written two years ago. And as I as I look at this list again, if if you want to go read it, I'll put a link in the description of the video if you want to go read where my Articles of Faith were at at the time. I am just going to speak to each of these points to give you kind of an idea of where I'm at today.

So, my first Article of Faith was centered on God. Who is God? And I would say that God is the creator. And and I resonate with something that I read in a book recently. It was about it was a book written by, I will say, spirit beings, and they said even they themselves, those spirits, did not fully comprehend God. So for us in a very low vibrational state to even suggest that we understand God would be it would be an understatement. Um, I've come to understand that God, creator, source, loves us unconditionally. That is what I know. I know that God is love. All of the details that go in and around who is God? God is in everything. Literally is in everything. Has created everything. And the our concept of God. We we cannot come to understand and comprehend in this state who God is other than we can feel God and we can respond to God and we can learn from inspired people, the Savior, Christ. We can learn from them and their example in an attempt to come to know God better. And that's where I've gotten today is to understand that God is a creator. God's love is unconditional and it will be that through the eternities that all of God's creations will be given every opportunity to progress and to advance, all of them.

The next article that I had here was about Jesus Christ. And my my viewpoint from a from a a a general view of Jesus Christ has not changed. But his role, uh, I I've had a new perspective on what he did and his example. He is the savior and redeemer of the world. But I've come to learn that the doctrines and the parables that he taught are far more rich in symbolism than maybe we quite understand. I've come to understand the atonement of Jesus Christ in a different way than than maybe some of the, well, definitely by than some of the religions of the world today. I do not believe that the phrase "believe and be saved" is something that applies to us. Christ himself taught all throughout scripture that if we love him, we are to keep his commandments. We have the parable of the house upon the sand and the rock. He says, "Be not be doers of the word and not hearers only." He asks us to work. His brother James talked about um showing his faith by his works. We have a lot to do. There's a reason that we are here in this life and Christ helps us so much. Has has sacrificed for us so much for us to be here. But I I hope to be able to do a follow-up video on the atonement of Christ and the significance of what an atonement, what an atonement means.

The next point here I had was on the Holy Ghost. And the short version would be is that God's love is made available to all of us and that his mind and will, the the very um concept, well, the concept of truth, of God's truth and love is available to all of us and there is a means or a medium for that to happen. What whatever that entails, God's spirit. Um, we will find out eventually, we will find out. But at this point in life, I just know that God has made a means to reveal truth to our heart and that this spirit that we we speak of as the Joseph Smith once taught that it is just finer matter and material that we with our natural eyes cannot see. And someday we'll figure that out, what that whatever that means.

We're moving on to Satan or good versus evil. I do believe that there is a a devil, uh, that there are spirits, devils, unclean spirits that that they have a they have a purpose, the purpose of evil in helping us to progress. I really love where Lehi gave his discourse. He talked about opposition in all things. There is a purpose for that opposition and this world is that place for testing and trying that opposition. I do believe though that God's love, as I mentioned, is unconditional and that all of God's creations will progress. And maybe that sounds, maybe some of you don't agree with that, that there are there are spirits or entities or people that have done something so atrocious, so evil that forgiveness is impossible. And I hold out hope that through the eternities of time that all of God's creations can progress, even uh, what we would consider the worst of the worst, the epitome of evil. That at some point in their progression, they will look at what they are doing and realize that turning to God is the better path, that that continuing in their suffering is is a fruitless path and that the fruits of the gospel, the joy, the love, the kindness is better than the hate and the sorrow. That's what I believe, that at some point in time that all of God's creations will progress.

The next one is Adam and Eve. And it's been interesting to have conversation with kind of the traditional some of the Protestant or traditional Christian views on Adam and Eve is that they made some really poor decisions and we are suffering the ramifications of what they did. And I don't believe that at all. Uh, one, do I believe that Adam and Eve were the first man and woman on this planet? No, I don't. I believe that this planet is very, very, very old. In fact, uh, do do I believe in what we would consider the biblical timeline that there was a point in time where man began? We we consider this Adam and Eve, right? 4,000 BC. And here today, we would consider ourselves maybe in the beginning of the seventh seal or 6,000 years from that time. Yeah, I can see us in that time frame and timeline. But if you look at some of the artifacts on this planet and the history of this planet, I think it goes much, much bigger, maybe is the right word. Um, if you want to do a little bit of digging into things like the Emerald Tablets of Thoth, uh, they're like something like 15 or 20,000 years old. And so one about Adam and Eve is I believe that all of us are responsible for our actions and that to some degree Adam and Eve are metaphors or symbolic of each and every one of us coming into a fallen state and being able to learn something that we have to repent of or a a task that we were given to be here in life and we need to learn what that is. The veil was very important for us in this process to have any previous experience that we we still retain, that our soul still retains is there, but there was something that we needed to do with a veil coming into mortality and to continue. We are here to learn and to grow. And I do not put any hate. I don't hold any um bad intention with Adam and Eve, um, whoever those people were. But we are here for a purpose. We're not in in this low state by accident or by someone else's mistakes. I think it's important that each and every one of us holds ourselves accountable for why we are here.

All right, this next one's going to be fun. This is about scripture. And my my relationship with scripture has been interesting over over the years. I'll just state, I love the Bible. Um, particularly the New Testament. I really enjoy that. Even parts of the the Old Testament are really wonderful and it's an amazing work. I don't I don't think that it encapsulates all truth, but I think it is an amazing book and the principles that are taught in there are astounding if we take the time to be able to study Christ's teachings and parables. They are simple and they are beautiful and they are profound in their ramifications if we really sat with them. I love other scripture. I've read the Book of Mormon. Uh, again, a beautiful record. I've read, you know, I've read the Doctrine and Covenants. Don't um prescribe to some sections of Doctrine and Covenants, but I think there are some good nuggets that are in there that we can learn from and benefit from. I also read other things uh from an apocryphal writing standpoint, and they've helped bless and benefit me. They've expanded my understanding of who I am, um, our purposes here, and maybe more of the long-term effects of of before this life here and after. So, those apocryphal writings have actually been very meaningful to me. In fact, I'm in the process of just finishing um two different books by Alan Cardec. Fascinating books. In fact, if I were to look at this and say, you know, the the Bible has been a great writing. I've looked at the Book of Mormon and these other apocryphal writings. The the Spirit's Book and the Gospel According to the Spirits um [clears throat] by Alan Cardec is probably one of the top books that I would say has helped me to bring together all of these books of scripture.

But this is where maybe I differ a little bit from some other people on scripture. They're not perfect. I I I I saw a Facebook post of a woman looking for a church and she says, "I'm looking for a church." I think she left the LDS church. And she's like, "But I want one that only teaches from the Bible." And and you know, if you only kept yourself to just that set of scriptures, there's enough in there that you would be able to have just a a beautiful life. And if we just learned to love God and to love our neighbors as ourselves, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, and we really took that to heart, spent time meditating on that and seeing the application of it, so much is contained in that just just that very core teaching of Jesus Christ. And I think that's wonderful. But I think there can be more. I think I think any type of a writing, like I think we need to redefine what we would consider scripture. Scripture is just something that brings us closer to God. It's is some inspired writing. We can learn through so many different types of parables and stories and other things.

But one thing that I have seen with scripture that maybe I where I differ from a few people is that sometimes we pigeonhole ourselves because we'll read one verse of scripture and we'll build a theology out of that verse of scripture that maybe isn't consistent with what God intended for us. Um, we will fixate on the nature of God because we read one verse of scripture or who we think Jesus Christ is, or there's so many things that we could point to scripture. In fact, something recently we're reading as a family and we're in the middle of Alma and we're hearing these discourses from Alma and Amulek about the the eternal damnation and things like that. I think those things have to be taken into context a little bit. And my study of some of these other writings, apocryphal writings and the Spirit's Book, they've just expanded my understanding. That's that's how I'll put it is they've expanded my understanding. And while I love the scriptures, I don't I don't put all of my faith in them and I don't say, "Well, if it's not in the scriptures, I won't believe it." Um, I have a more expansive understanding. I believe that each and every one of us can be taught by the spirit, our own personal scripture. That's what I'll say. Personal revelation is what these writings are. They were their experiences, their collective, you know, understanding of doctrine and teachings. And what I would say just to end this section on scripture is even the Savior when he met with the Nephites and the Lamanites that were alive at the time, he opened up the heavens to them and he showed them so many beautiful things and he asked them not to write them down. So we know that there is more. There is so much more. I would even go so far as to say that there are not enough libraries and books on this planet to contain even a fraction of the truths of what God wants to teach us. There is that much knowledge and wisdom and understanding. But it can be encapsulated though into some very simple principles of charity and loving one another.

My next section here is on Joseph Smith and prophets. I've come to truly uh enjoy many of the things that I've studied about Joseph Smith and I, as anyone, Joseph Smith wasn't a perfect person. He himself proclaimed that, believed that. But what's been interesting for me as I've talked with a lot of friends is I believe that Joseph Smith would probably be excommunicated from the church today because of what he wrote while he was alive. It's one of the reasons that the LDS church has a saying that we don't put the words of uh dead prophets against the living prophets because they know that there are discrepancies. Things that Joseph Smith wrote down while he was alive directly contradict teachings in the LDS church. I would even go so far as to say that the majority, I don't know about all of them, but a good majority of the teachings in the church today have changed or been altered in some way since the death of Joseph Smith and his brothers. I I would say that pretty pretty close. I could take um many of these principles about the nature of God. I could take things like um tithing, the temple, priesthood. You you could just go on down the list of all of these aspects to the traditions, teachings, and culture of the church. And so much changed. So many things were dropped. The law of common consent, gone, right? Where did that go? It got shifted and morphed into this interesting version of sustaining on and on and on. I think we could talk a little bit more about um all these doctrines had changed and it was shocking to me to be able to to see just how far we've moved away from things that Jo that Joseph Smith had taught, even though he wasn't perfect and there's some there's some interesting stuff out there online about you know his life, but I do think to some degree a lot of people lied about Joseph to be able to cover up their own actions. That's kind of where I'm at now.

My perspective on prophets. I mentioned this idea of the law of common consent. I believe that is the appropriate way that a society, a religion, a church would call their prophets and a they would call the high priests of the church. That's what I'll say. It is through their vote that actually has validity, right? Not just, hey, would you agree with me and if you don't, you're kicked out. The voice of the people called the high priests of the church. And then there was a a priesthood structure of how they called other people to help in those capacities. But the members, the people of the society had the vote as to who they were. And if this person did something, taught something, acted in a way that was unbecoming of a disciple of Christ, they had the full authority as a people to reconvene, to have a vote, to have the common voice of the people to choose another one.

Now, I mentioned the word prophet, seer, and revelator. We hear that a lot. What are prophets, seers, and revelators? They are anyone who prophesies, has the gift of seership, or reveals something. And those people can be anyone from any walk of life, anywhere on this planet or beyond this planet. Those are prophets, seers, and revelators. They they don't we we do not take this collective ability of God to be able to speak to us to prophesy and do those things and and collect it into the the pyramid structure of a singular religion on this planet. Um, there's God's people on this planet and their paths in life are are so diverse that it does not fit that pyramid structure. That happens in a lot of religions today. Um, it just it just doesn't work for me. Um, anyone who prophesies, sees, and reveals. And we we I've mentioned this before, but it's like Moses when he was at the temple and Eldad and Medad were out prophesying and the elders of the church just freaked out and they ran to him and they're like, "You got to stop these guys." And Moses told them, he says, "Oh, that all men were prophets. Don't don't be jealous of me thinking that I'm the one prophet. I wish all of you were." And I believe that is where God's people need to be. We all need to be conduits of revelation and be prophets in our own right. That is where I place prophets, seers, and revelators.

The next section I have is on priesthood. And I have a whole section if you want to go read it on the priesthood. But what I've come to understand is that God can give his authority to anyone at any time, of any gender. He can give his his authority to anyone to act in his name. He can give them the gift of healing. We the the people and the religions of this world. This is one thing when I talk about priesthood. I would I would probably just rename this authority. Men in particular really like to fixate on this idea of authority because it's it's really the only thing that many religions really hang their hat on. The Cath, you know, Catholicism does that, but the the LDS church definitely because it's their claim to fame, right? The uh, the priesthood was was brought back, John the Baptist, you know, Peter, James, John's, and things like that. And they hold their hat on that. And I find it interesting that even in the church's own canon of Doctrine and Covenants, it says that through unrighteousness that can be removed. And I would even go so far as to say that the Lord can at any point in time call any of his people, we and give them his authority. We see that when he was on the earth in the old world in Jerusalem, he gave his authority to his prophets and apostles. At the same time, while they were living, he visited the Americas and gave them his authority. And reading additional apocryphal records, he went to many other places and gave his authority. Authority is when God gives it to you. When the Savior um, it it's not something that is bound up like a physical key and that someone can wield thinking that it remains in an organization simply because [sighs and gasps] they say it does. But it's one of those areas where I think the secret acts of men, secret combinations really love to focus on is authority because it has to do with what they consider their own their power and they love that. Like it's it's it's really an interesting thing to focus on what what authority does. And when people think they have authority over other people, and this is where I think the parable of Mark 9 really shines is Christ said the only person that you are able to trust is God alone. Now, you can learn from your family. You can learn from people in society and even someone who would be a seer, someone called to provide light to you, right? Light, knowledge, and understanding. But every single one of those people that covers all of society can lead you astray. It's totally possible. And it we've got to get our our brains out of this idea that somehow this authority still has some binding effect on us when in the end, we just need to look to God. Everything that we need to understand uh, our personal station in life and to move ahead, we just need to ask God. And the gospel of Christ becomes a lot more simple. Even though there's a lot of complexity, infinite complexity as far as the details of of our progression, there's some simple principles that will guide us in that. And that actually brings me into the next section here, which encompasses the temple.

And I know that a lot of a lot of my family spent a lot of time in the temple. I spent a lot of time in the temple. I went at least once a week for two years and I would say that the time there was was good in the sense that I was able to dedicate time in meditation. That was my favorite time was to sit quietly in meditation. I thought that was beautiful and it was a benefit. But I can't help but have the words of Nephi resonating in the back of my mind when he's talking about the last days when false teachers teach false doctrine and they grind the face of the poor in the process of building up their fine sanctuaries. Now, if you look at the principle of tithing, when they changed it after Joseph from going on surplus to full income and we changed tithing settlement, which it should have been to tithing declaration. We changed the doctrine. We told poor people that in order to go to the temple and receive saving ordinances, they had to give 10% of everything, even though they had nothing, and somehow God would still bless them, which I believe anyone who sacrifices out of the purity of their heart would be blessed. But the Lord never asked the people who had nothing, zero, to be able to give to a temple and to a church that hid $32 billion from its members because they were afraid the members would stop paying money to them.

Temples have their place. Houses of worship have a place. I believe they should be a place where true believers in Christ or whatever faith you have in God should come together. I believe it should be a place that is very open. All discussion should be able to happen there. It should be full of libraries, the the best books of the world, all truth. They should be a place for open dialogue and discussion. And that is the exact opposite that happens, especially in the LDS church. They say if you have to talk, be quiet. I actually asked one of my former bishops about some of the symbolism in the temple and he he's like, "Well, come back next week. We'll talk about it." And when we met the following week, he's like, "Actually, I got some counsel that we can't talk about any of this." That is not how God operates. God God does speak to us in the the quiet secret parts of our lives, right, to our heart. But these truths, he, the Lord did not lock up certain keys, certain key understandings behind a temple door, behind sustaining men, which we go into that, or pay a payment of tithing, which is an incorrect tithe to begin with, to be able to go there. I believe there can be some good things there. If I were to take every principle of the temple, I would believe in those four core, four or five core laws of sacrifice, um, chastity, the gospel, um, in consecration. But my viewpoint of every single one of those is very different, right? Just take for example, the law of consecration. It is not to a church. It's not to a church leader, not to a religion. It's to God. The sole responsibility or stewardship resides with the individual, not with a religion. And that subtle difference is huge. It's so big when you realize that God empowered you, the individual, to be able to have that personal connection as to how you are to act and that you don't give it to a church to have it then given back to you and the stewardship of what God blessed you with placed in the hands of another person. So, it's tough because I understand that there is there is truth there and it resonates so well with so many people, but there are some subtle shifts that that I very much do not agree with and I think a lot of members would be surprised to know things like, for example, the blood oaths that were in the 1989 endowment that were removed, but the hand signs of those blood oaths are still there today. You're not supposed to talk about them, but those those are still there. Most members do not understand that the signs, many of the signs are um remnants of the blood oath and the Lord in both his own writings in the New Testament and in the Book of Mormon in Third Nephi says, "Do not swear by your head." But that is exactly what those hand signs mean and what they did mean and what they were vocalized as saying earlier in the church.

So, I won't go more on the temple, but the temple is kind of a big deal because it it well, I remember one podcaster who was on Mormon Stories and she was a writer for the church and she said the direction that we were basically given was that everything needs to point back to the temple or what they have trademarked, the covenant path. Everything points back to that. And you have to ask yourself why. Why does everything point back to the temple? One, it has to do with finances and money. And in fact, recently I had someone I would love to talk about their experience. A good friend of mine recently had his temple recommend taken away because he he mentioned and talked about some of the more difficult aspects to church history and had his recommend taken away. Another woman um, she was recently quoting Joseph Smith and Emma's viewpoints on polygamy, was excommunicated because it didn't align with the modern-day narrative that Joseph had to be a polygamist. Right? [snorts] So temples are a big deal. I believe there is truth there. And if you find, you know, healing there, I think that's wonderful. But even before you get in the door, that was my deal breaker is that the Lord said that salvation, you can come and buy milk and honey without price. And that is what he meant. Um, sacrifice is important, extremely important, but not in the way that the church teaches it.

All right, moving on to the purpose of life. In fact, I might even just read this because I think these ones are are still applicable. Let me take a look at the purpose of life. This life is an opportunity for us to learn and grow. It is not a place where we are handed our final judgment, as if final is a thing anyway. It is not a courtroom. Please consider how unloving it would be for parents to send their children off to school, removing any and all knowledge of what they had learned before the veil of forgetfulness. Then give each of them different and unique experiences and expecting all of them to take the same pass or fail test at the end. Just as a bodybuilder becomes stronger through resistance, we also learn some of the greatest lessons in life through hardship and struggle. As we are tested and tried through these experiences, our very nature becomes refined in a similar manner to how gold is purified and the dross is removed.

In in the end, um, we are here to learn how to love others. That is that is what we are here for. And if we are here on this planet that we call Earth, we've got something to work through. Either something to teach, a lesson that we were um wanting to bring here to teach the world that we need to remember. And I would say for the vast majority of us, we have things that we get to work through. And and I have come to understand the word repentance in a completely different light. Growing up, it was a very shameful word. It was avoided. It was it was just came with a lot of guilt. And I've come to understand that it's a beautiful thing when we find something within our own spirit that we can refine. We find something of like, oh, that was a a belief that I had or maybe that was a prejudice that I held and I learned to overcome it and to repent of that and to not judge someone in this way or that way. So many so many things that we are here in this life to be able to learn. But above all, I believe we could encapsulate most of this to understand that we are here in this life to learn how to have charity, which is the pure love of Christ. We are here to love.

The last part that I have here is eternity and progression. Our spirits are eternal. I like how Vinnie Tolman has shared that if we were to extend a thin cord out into space infinitely in both directions, placing a single grain of sand on that line would represent this mortal existence. I also believe that once we pass from this life, we enter an appropriate kingdom or glory. But that glory is not fixed as some religions teach. We're God to assign a fixed glory to their children without the possibility of progression. And that soul be made aware of further light and knowledge. Any kingdom or glory would become hell if further progression was withheld for them. There are as many glories or heavens as God's creations need. Um, I recommend Vinnie Tolman's book. I'm actually going to do a future video on it. It was called "Light After Death." Wonderful experience. Even even reading my my viewpoint here on eternity and progression has changed. Meaning uh, just hey, this one life and we're done and we figure this stuff out. There is so much more. There is so much more that we get to learn from and that we get to experience and I'm excited for the journey. Um, one of the one of the reasons that we are here in this life is to be able to experience trials without cursing God. To be grateful for the experiences without seeking vengeance either for others or for God. And to truly learn how to love both our family, our loved ones, but also those who curse us, those who are we would call our enemies. I am still trying to understand what that means, but I'm getting a better a better understanding of it. I'm learning to to see what it means to love your enemies. And that's to not wish hate upon them. It's not to return an eye for an eye or that vengeance to another person that that wanted to hurt us. I think I think in the end when we I say and I use that term figuratively when we pass from this life, I think we will see the trials that we endured in a very different light and perspective and the people that were in our lives that maybe we thought were the villain, the evil, we might have a very different perspective about who those people, those spirits, those souls are and how they chose to help us to progress us in that lifetime.

So, I'm going to wrap up the last little section here. There are dozens of additional themes that I could expand upon, but I think this list is sufficient for now. I'm also excited to revisit my Articles of Faith in the future. Like I said, I am really it's intriguing to read that list that I wrote two years ago and to see how my understanding has shifted. It's I I I thought to be honest, I really thought, nope, uh, that is that is where I'm going to be. I'm I'm pleasantly and happily surprised, but there are things that I am still chewing on in my mind that I'm like, man, if that's the case, if if this thing that I'm contemplating is true, it just it just changes so much my paradigm of of reality. Like there's so much cool stuff out there. That's all I'll say. There's so much cool stuff out there.

All right, continuing. The principles of one upon which we build our foundation of faith are very important. The life we create for ourselves is built upon these core beliefs. Nothing comes into existence except we first create it spiritually in our minds. And that's really important. As the proverb so beautifully teaches, "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he." In conversation with friends, I've often expressed how excited I am when the spirit teaches me something about my beliefs and way of thinking that isn't quite right. The faster I can learn of my incorrect beliefs, the faster I can progress.

The remainder of this essay actually goes through about um things that I learned in removing my name from the records of the church. So, I'm going to do a follow-up video and actually read the letter that I wrote, lessons that I learned in the process of having my records removed from the church and kind of what our intentions were at the time. Um, I think that'll be um an insightful video to give you a little bit more meat. This one was just like a high-level view of some of these principles that I hold. But that uh that letter will just, it'll it's kind of a time capsule of sorts that I think will give you a little bit better perspective of of what we were going through emotionally at the time. If I were to say just some some final words about this process of leaving the church. Again, I have friends that are in many.

Religions, and I think that's wonderful for them to be able to be in that space. I would consider myself a spiritual gypsy rooted or grounded in Christianity and [clears throat] I believe that there is truth in any religion that strives to bring you closer to God.

I spent a couple of days the other day, uh, I spent some time the other day studying Buddhism. I think that there is a lot that the greater Christian world could learn from Buddhism. I'll say that flat out. Uh, there are beliefs that I have that that don't perfectly align with with the majority or prevailing Christian religions that I do see in uh Buddhism and some of these other faiths. We, there is so much out there. There is so much out there and I think that if we, if we only rooted our belief system in just one religion, I think that we'll be limiting ourselves a little bit. Um, just the concept of karma is a really fascinating study. I'll do a future video on karma and what that means. But if you belong to a religion, hold your faith. Um, but be open to possibilities. And it doesn't, it doesn't mean that you have to leave your church either. That may be the perfect spot where God wants you to be at this time to be able to to just love people. That's what he would do.

In my case, some of these um, these understandings that I've had about doctrine and principles came in such sharp contrast. I mean, just to give you an idea, I mean, if if Christ taught one thing that says, "Do not trust in the arm of flesh, only God. You can get a witness of the spirit of a few things, but only trust in God," and the church teaches, "Well, the prophet can never lead you astray, and you can trust him completely." That is an anti-Christian teaching. It is in direct violation. And um, contradicts perfectly Christ's teachings. So what does it say of religion when people say, "Well, are Mormons Christian?" And I would say, "Well, it depends. They believe in Jesus, but they have teachings within their religion that directly contradict his teachings." They're exact opposite. And I would say they're even anti-Christian. When they completely contradict his teachings, what else can you say other than it's an anti-anti-Christian teaching?

So something that I have found about the religions of the world is there, there is really, like I said, there is good in those religions, but one of the very predominant traits that comes from this, often from the hierarchal structures of authority, is the division that they create. There's this, there's this face, this facet, this one side to religion that creates division. And it's really interesting um what what that does to people because they fight over authority. They, they are you following Christ? Is your, is your understanding of Jesus? Are you Christian? Um, I think that instead of worrying about who is right, maybe we should worry a little bit more about, are we doing the best we can to follow the light and understanding that God has given us?

And if, if I were to say which religion is true, like Amy call, I mentioned she asked this guide in heaven, which, which, which religion is true. I would say that it is a religion of love because it encapsulates and encompasses all truth because God is love. It is through love that God created the universe. All of this that we will experience is created through the love of God. So, I would say thank you for taking a few minutes out of your day, listening to a little bit about my story, whether you're in your faith, you're out of your faith, your religion, your church, but you, uh, if, if there was one thing that I would encourage you, is it's difficult at times when someone leaves a religion because it sets a set of guide rails for you and it says, "Well, just put your stuff on this little cart and we're going to push it down the path and that's going to be uh what you need to do." And when that path, that that cart gets derailed [snorts], the role and responsibility that we thought resided, you know, the, the path of following God that we thought resided in the hands of someone else, or at least they told us that they were to help us understand the covenant path. When that derails, um, it's really easy to be able to say, "Well, I'm just going to, I'm just done with it. I'm, I'm done with religion. And I'm done with all of it."

And it's really difficult that when you decide to take your own path, that you become the one that decides what you get to believe and to worship, and you become the, you take on the full autonomy and the full responsibility of what it means for you to come to God. And I think that I've noticed in my life, it was easier when I could just listen to a leader, follow the prophet. That was easier to a degree, even though it was a high demand religion and they ask a lot of things. It was comforting at the time to just say, "I just have to listen." And I've come to understand that it is actually, it is more spiritually demanding when you realize that you have to chart your path in this life with God. And it's tough. I will sympathize with any of you who have gone through that path and are questioning even your own, your very belief in God, when the religion that you thought you were following was God's, and then you saw the cracks in it and realized, "Oh no," and you put it down and you set it aside. And and that's okay. Taking a break is totally fine. It's just my hope. I guess that's that's my intention with this, to one degree or another, is just to help you understand that find God in your life. Understand that there are, there is truth in so many aspects of God's creations. Even just in nature, going outside and going for a walk, understanding meditation, the process of, there's just so many things. I hope that you can come to know and understand that there is truth in many of the churches. But then in the end, ultimately your path is to walk with God, and you can bring a lot of people with you. You can bring all of your friends, all of your family. You can, you can walk that walk together as long as we strive to love each other.

I still love my friends and my family that are members. I still love, I would love them regardless. It would be disingenuous of me to not love them and still consider myself a follower of Jesus Christ. He would love them. And I do love my friends and my family. So if you are watching this, I don't know, it would be interesting to see how many of you actually watch this, considering it's nestled away on the internet. But know that I love you from my heart. I love you. And the decision for me to love, to leave the, the church took a lot of time and was spiritually really difficult to be able to do that. But I feel that I, I am in a bitter, better space. And I could, could I still come back and worship and be with friends? I've gone to lots of churches before. But in the end, seek God and strive to love each other. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So, thank you. I hope you guys have a wonderful rest of your day and I will catch you guys on the next video. Take care. [music]