Transcription
[Music] What's popping YouTube fam? It's your boy Martini. The "I'm Not Toxic, I'm Healing" tour continues. I'm going to be in Tacoma September 3rd. Get your tickets before we sell out. Sacramento, I'm coming your way September 4th through the 7th. We added a Sunday show. So, we will be also selling that one out. Go get them tickets at martinamini.com.
New York City, I'm pulling back up September 18th at the Gotham Comedy Club. One of my favorite comedy clubs in the country. Pull up, New York. Can't wait to see you. If you need some love and Jajaz. Also, I'll be in Houston, Texas, end of the month, I believe, September 27th and 28th. We're going to be doing five shows total at the Houston Improv. Houston's always a dope time. So, make sure you go get them tickets. And we added Los Angeles and we added uh Oxnard, Irvine uh in October. So, if you want to go get those tickets at martini.com.
Also, 2026, we also added. We got London is now on sale if you live in London. And then we got uh Tempe, Arizona, Charlotte, Albuquerque. Everyone's like, "Albuquerque, you never come there." Well, we added it in February. And also Dallas, Texas, February for Valentine's Day. Those tickets are now on sale at martinme.com. Enjoy this episode. I love y'all. Ja. You were to me. [Applause]
We just trying to find um I'm not currently working. You wanted someone funny. That was creepy as [ __ ]. All right, we're looking for some single homies. We're looking for for those who haven't seen the show, we want we we're looking for like uh Oh. Oh, yeah. Over there. All right. We're looking for wholesome. Yeah. We got Let's start with some uh let's start with uh let's start with some girls, huh? Is there any single girls that want to come on stage? Oh. All right. Here we go. If you're a single girl that's ready to like be in a serious relationship, this is your moment, ladies. Let's see if we can find you a nice guy. You know that maybe you never know. We might have two proposals tonight. You know, does anyone want to come on stage? Single ladies, this is your chance, ladies. What age? What age? What the [ __ ] I'm not going to. How old are you? How much? 52. 52. [ __ ] I don't. Is there any uh retired homies that? We got any old dick in the room? I don't know. All right. Well, let's see. We'll we'll circle back to the 52. We'll circle back. Is there any uh anyone else that wants to come on stage? Oh, yeah. We got one. All right. Here she comes. We got one. Come on down, lady. Is she coming? All right. So, we got one. We got room for one more girl. We got one girl coming. We got another. Is there any other girls that want to come on stage? This is your chance, ladies. All right, let's see. Let's see what she looks like. Here she comes. Come on down. Do you want to come? Do you want to come, too? You want to come, too? You can come on to. Yeah. We got another one. Yeah. All right. Come on down, ladies. Very nice to meet you. Yes. Come on. What's your name? Keep it going for Jackie one time. Nice to meet you. What's your name? Nancy. We got Jackie and Nancy. Keep it going. Austin, Texas. Come on. Very nice, ladies. Very nice. All right. So, is it Nancy? Nancy and Jackie. Nancy, uh, tell us a little bit about yourself. Where you from, Nancy? Uh, here. Austin. Nice. Now, uh, what do you do for a living now, Nancy? Um, I'm not currently working. Okay. All right. Nice. So, you just say, you know, you just out here just, you know, looking for love and not a job. I respect that. I respect that. You know, maybe we'll find you like um so tell me like uh what kind of guy are you looking for? You looking for like a bread winner? Someone, you know, someone who's a provider, you know. Would you say you're kind of like conservative, old-fashioned? Like, you know, you you think um men should be like the providers and the women should be more so like how how do you? Yeah. Yeah. You're old school. Okay. I can see that working. Now, tell me a little bit about what kind of guy you're looking for. Describe the N describe the the physical traits, you know, personality, social, introvert, m social, social guy, tall guy. Yeah. Taller than me. Taller. Yeah. Well, you're you're maybe 5 foot2, you know. 5 foot. So, as long as you're over 5'1, you're good, bro. You're tall enough for this ride right here, bro. Now, tell us uh Okay. Besides the physical stuff, describe his personality. What kind of what you do? You like a funny homie? You like a serious homie personality? Like business guy? Funny. Funny. I like a funny guy. I'm funny. Okay. All right. All right. So, maybe we can find you like a I think we're going to find Nancy a nice. What do you guys think? Should we find Nancy a nice guy? Nancy, if you don't mind, stand right here. Let the homies on the left and let the homies on the right see you. The homies with the in the in the balcony. No, no, you look you know you're going to do good. Don't worry. All right, single homies. We're looking for an articulate guy. We're looking for a masculine guy over 51. Does anyone want to come on stage for Nancy? Make some [ __ ] noise. Oh, we got some guys over there. Come on down, big dog. Come on. We got one over here. We got this guy. Come on down. This is your chance, bro. Anyone else? Wow. Nice. Look at this guy. He looks very funny. All right. No, you good. You good? All right. All right. Come on down. Come on down, big dog. Yeah. Look at this one. Nice to meet you, dear. Gentlemen, say hi to Nancy. A Jack, if you don't mind, scoot down just a little bit more. There you go. All right. This is nice. We got Look at these guys. What's up? There you go. Nice to meet you, bro. Say, be a gentleman. Say hi to Nancy. Very nice. Go stand next. Go. Yeah. Go stand next to her. Be a man. Anyone else? Oh, what happened? She wants to collapse. Okay, you good? Everyone's good. We don't got insurance. Everyone be careful. Anyone else, guys? Anyone else want to come on? This is your moment. You want to come down for Nancy? We got another one. All right, Nancy. You got three single guys coming on the stage for her. Let's see. I hope these guys got jobs otherwise. Nice to meet you, bro. Be a gentleman. Say hi to Nancy. A very nice. Oh, look at that. Anyone else? Any other. All right. Oh. Oh, we got another one. The ESL homie. Let's go. Wow, he's tall. Nice to meet you, bro. Hey, bro. Hey, gentlemen. Say hi to your lady. Your future lady potentially. All right. All right. All right. Keep it going for all these wholesome homies one time coming on stage. Let's get to know him a little bit. All right. ESL. What's your name, big dog? Leonardo. All right. Tell us uh what you do for a living, big dog. I work for the city of Austin. And I'm a signal tech. Signal tech. Very nice. Work for the city. Fantastic. Now, when you saw when you saw her, what made you want to come on stage for her? What do you like about her? Grab the mic. Look her in the eyes. I mean, she's outgoing. So, she came she came up right away. I mean, I like that she's outgoing. Yeah. Yeah. I can tell you're outgoing, too, huh? A little bit. Yeah. All right. You did good, bro. Good job. All right. Mustache. Let's see what's going on. Tell us your name and where you from. All right. Tino, born and raised Austinite. Ah, Tino. Now, what do you do for a living now, Tino? Service industry. Oh, bartending. Bartend. Okay. Is it a place we might know here? Uh, Pluckers. I used to bartend at Pluckers down the road. Uh, but right now like ACL, South by Southwest, all the uh like Kota and all that. Very nice. Now, when you saw Nancy, what did you like about her? Big dog. Look her in the eyes. Be masculine. You wanted someone funny. I think I think I'm pretty good. I think I'm pretty funny. That was creepy as [ __ ] bro. What the [ __ ] bro? I'm telling you, the vaccine [ __ ] up all these guys, bro. Now, you did good. You did good, bartender. All right, big dog. I like this guy, you know. Let's get to know him a little bit. What's your name, big dog? My name is David. David, nice to meet you. And what do you do for now for a living? I work at Tesla. You work at Tesla. What do you do at Tesla? I'm a production uh tech technician. Very nice. Product technician. Okay. Fantastic. Now, you know, you seem like a good guy. When you saw Nancy, what made you want to come on stage for her? Grab the mic. Look her in the eyes. Be articulate, homie. Put your sentences together. You got this. You know, she likes it like the old way. Like the old like the old way. You know, when the man brings some money in, you know, like like the old way, you know. I like that. Yeah. I like that. I like that. And you you're very stood up, you know. You're the first person to raise her hand to come off stage. So, you know, I applause for that. I applaud for that. Yeah. All right. Okay. Okay. She likes it the old way. I'm glad this homie works for Tesla and not a [ __ ] an English teacher, bro. God damn. It's okay, though. You know, these homies are, you know, they're working. They're they're they're going out of their comfort zones for I was in ESL class, too. Yeah. You're in ESL, too? Okay. Okay. Okay. [Music] You guys were You were also Yes. What the [ __ ] bro? Look at your [ __ ] A tracks, bro. All right. Come on. Glasses. Nice to meet you, big dog. What's your name? Uh Joey. Joey. And what do you do now for a living? I also work at Tesla as a quality inspector. Okay. Well, you sound like you you you have a little bit more, you know, uh grammar and articulate. So, when you saw Nancy, this is your moment, big dog. What made you want to come on stage for her? It's the same thing. You know, big crowd wanted to raise her hand, come up. You know, that's got balls, man. I got to take it, man. Okay. Okay. So, you like the fact that she's outgoing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. For sure. Okay. So far, a lot of these homies can't talk, bro. But, you know, maybe they're just, you know, maybe they're just like kind of shy. You know, I I say we should like test them and see where they would want to take you out on a romantic date. Let's see how romantic they are. Maybe they're not good with their words, but maybe maybe their love language is like gifts and, you know, quality time. So maybe we can test them that way, you know? All right, so we're going to test the ESL homie number one. If you were to take Nancy out on a romantic first date, big dog, where would you take her out? Be creative. All right, use your personality. You're an extrovert. Now remember, now look her in the eyes, too. I mean, I was in ESL, so I I'mma put it as pretty as possible. I'll take you out to a nice dinner. You know, something, as people would say, a little basic, but after that, you know, something that a little walk, you know, downtown, you know, I swear to God, if you if you were going to say pluckers, uh, [Applause] all right, if you were to take Nancy out on a romantic first date, where would you take her out? All right. So, as funny as a guy I am, I do like the outdoors. So, I'd maybe take you hiking if you're into that. Then after that, if we're out there hiking in the um uh the Hill Country, I'll take you to Hoola Hut afterwards. You know, we're out there by the water, have a nice dinner out there, see the sunset and all that. And then after that, I mean, we go where we go. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. We're starting to see sensitives come together. All right. Big dog, you got this, man. Keep it simple, but you got it. We're going to take her out. I'll take her out. I'll take you out to a park in downtown with a nice view of downtown. Got a bunch of, you know, got the towers, got the frost tower and all that. And I'm the type of guy like I like to picnic. I like to I like to picnic. So, you know, you know, and I'm the type of guy where like I like I want to get to know you. So, I ask you what's your favorite food. Hopefully, you ask me what's your favorite food. We can bring it. We could bring it to a picnic and you know we could we could try try the other food. See if we like it or not and get to know each other while we at it. Yo, this homie is [ __ ] funny as [ __ ] bro. This homie look like he been to too many picnics in his lifetime. He's cute as [ __ ] Like hopefully you know I ask you what's your favorite food. Hopefully you ask me what's my favorite food. That's my favorite part when you find out what's my favorite food. Nah, he's like low key. He's wholesome as [ __ ] bro. He's nice. He's a nice I like this guy. He's nice as [ __ ] All right, big dog. Come on, glasses. You got this, bro. I swear you better not [ __ ] this up. There's not a lot of competition. All right, you got this. All right. If you were to take her out on a romantic first day, bro, where would you take her? Grab the mic and look her look her in the eyes. Well, obviously we're in Austin, so you know, it's a white people city and you're at a comedy show, so it's funny as [ __ ] So, I say we go to a restaurant, try to find the nearest Karen, and see who can uh make the biggest complaint, you know. Yeah. has some funniness, you know. You know, okay, I think that that was his attempt to be funny, but uh it's okay. You know, that that was a curveball. I didn't expect that one. I was expecting a little bit more from you glasses, but the ball is back in NY's court. So, we're going to get to know what Nancy feels right now. There's a lot that just happened in the past few minutes. What's your uh what's your initial thoughts of all these guys so far? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. That's fair. Now, I'm gonna give an opportunity. Is there anyone else that wants to come on stage and try to steal the show right now? Is there anyone else you want to come on stage, Big Dog? Come on, Big Dog. Come on. This guy says, Come on down. Let's see. Here he comes. Nice to meet you, big dog. What's your name? Amedico. Amed. Now, when you saw all these guys try to talk to Nancy, man, what made you feel like you can come on stage and steal the show from her? What? I don't think they're on my level. I feel like I feel like I'm I'm gonna be straight up. I'll take her to a rooftop. She's beautiful. So, bring her some flowers first of all and then uh get to know her culture and then um then I'll tell her mine and then we'll go from there. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Now, Nancy, the ball's in your court. Do you want to get to know this homie a little bit more? Do you know this guy or I don't know him? No. No. Do you want to let get you want to know a little bit more about him? Maybe his job. Are you uh are you feeling this guy physically? Do you want to get get to know him a little bit more or no? No. I don't know. Yeah. Okay, it's okay. It's a safe space. You don't Yo, keep it going for Nancy one time and all the wholesome homies that came on stage because Thank you so much, ESL homie number two. ESL number one, thank you so much. Keep it going everyone. Thank you guys so much. Thank you so much for coming on stage. Nancy, you're going to guys be a gentleman. Help her get off the stage, please. Uh, yeah. Get the [ __ ] off. Wow. Wait, Jackie. Hey, Jackie. Come over here, Jackie. Oh, nice to meet you. Sorry for all that, you know. Yeah, these guys at Yeah, it wasn't awkward at all. So, you know, um based off of what we've seen so far, it's tough to date out here, huh? Austin. Yeah. Yeah. That seems Is that the typically like the what the guys are like? Yeah. That's [ __ ] crazy. Okay. I can't communicate, right? Yeah. That part in the beginning of the show wasn't a joke, bro. We literally saw that [ __ ] play out in real life. So, let's see if we could try it again. You know, if there's a if there's something that you want to put out there, the different um what would you want to say that you're looking for? Um, well, I'm 21. I work for the Department of Treasury and I work from home. I'm look I'm an introvert. I don't really go out that much, but when I do, I go out with my friends to the clubs, the movies. So, okay. So, you're 21, so we got to be very selective of maybe the age group. So, let's bring it down a lot to like uh what's the cut off? Maybe 24, 25. 25. Yeah. Yeah. No creepy homies over that. Yeah. All right. So, we're looking for, you know, maybe like Do you like wholesome? What's your What's your type? I like someone that's um likes to go to church. Very church oriented. I like someone that's very family oriented, respectful to their women, moms, sisters, everything. Yeah, that's right, Jackie. Good job. God-fearing, family oriented. That's right. That's what we're looking for right now. So, if you're a god-fearing, wholesome homie under 25 years old here in Austin, Texas, and that wants to come on stage for Jackie, this is your moment. Make some [ __ ] noise right now. Is that guy godfearing? I saw like a cross tattoo on his neck. He might be. Is anyone else that wants to come on stage for Jackie under 25? Oh, we got one. Come on. Glasses. Nice to meet you, big dog. What's your name? Uh, Vilio. Keep it going for Vicilio one time, bro. Be a gentleman. Shake her hand. Now, Vicilio, she's looking for a a rel, you know, a god-fearing young man. Do you go do you go to church on Sundays? I haven't went in like two months. You haven't gone in two months? Oh, it's okay. The last day was like, uh, Mother's Day. Oh, okay. That's nice. Now, tell me, uh, you know, what do you do now for a living? Uh, I work at a dealership in the warehouse in Cobert. Very nice. All right. And when you saw her, what made you want to come on stage for her, big dog? What what you know? I just think she real beautiful. She had a nice smile. I just couldn't stop looking at her when I was sitting down. So, you know, that might be the best response we've got all night. Authentic, genuine, romantic. Very nice, bro. All right. So, right now you have her attention. Now, if you were to take her out on a nice date, what's your idea of romance for the young lady? Man, I'm going out all out. I'm going to be a s. We're going to on a picnic. I'm tired of being single. It's been a year and a half. So, all right. Keep going. You know, so picnic. What else? Create the visualization so she knows, you know, make her feel safe. Just to get to know each other, you know, do some painting. Painting. Oh, yeah. Romantic. I tell you, I'm a s. So, you know, when I love, I love hard. So, so when you say you're a s, you're just does that. That's like another word for like you're wholesome. Yeah. You're wholesome. Yeah. You're wholesome. You're you're in touch with your you know, you're you're more uh you're emotionally available. You're not afraid of like, you know, being romantic, opening like chivalry, flowers that the world needs more of that. That's right. All right, let's ask her how she feels about those, you know, ideas. Picnic, maybe a little painting for the first date. Oh, how old are you, big dog? Uh, 27. I knew she said. Okay, let her decide. Let Jackie I know she said she didn't want. No, I know. I know. I know. I know. Stop talking. I know. It's okay. Is there any other young homies that wants to come on stage under 25? This homie right here. 26. He's 26. All right, let's let's ask let's ask Jackie how she feels about this guy. What's your thoughts about him? He did say some nice things, but obviously it's up to you. You're very nice, but my limit is 25. I'm sorry. All right. Thank you, sir, for coming on stage, please. Is there Is there anyone else that wants to come on stage for Jackie that's under 20? Oh, we got one. Yeah. Come on. Come on down. I swear to God if you're 29 years old I'm going to be so pissed. Nice to meet you, bro. What's your name? Davian. What is it? Dave. Dave. Nice. Come on, girl. Whoa. This guy's running back. Whoa. That's why he's not a quitter. All right. You look like a nice guy. Tell me uh what do you do for a living? I work for the service. I work for Chick-fil-A. Okay. A That's ask you, bro. Now, we got to ask you up top, how how old are you? We want to know. 20. Oh, 20. That's okay. That That's nice. Now, if you were to when you take Jackie out, you know, where you going to take her out on the first romantic date, big dog? Grab the mic. Look her in the eyes. First off, I think like if I Well, we we would text. I would want to um get to know who you are as a person. And then I would want to know like what place you like to eat. So, from there, I'll be like, "Okay, I'll have an idea with some flowers, like ch like I don't know if you like chocolates or anything. Anything that you like. I'm going to have it right there in front of you. Trust. I'll have it right there." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think we did it this time. I think we got the one. Just stop talking. You're doing good. All right. Tesla homie. Jesus Christ. Here we go. Now, we remember you from the last girl. Well, you have to, you know, be smart with your words. What made you want to come on stage for Jackie now? All right. Don't use the same [ __ ] words. So, you know, I believe in like living life to the fullest. So, so if I were to take you out, I like to take you out to the the oasis right there, Lake Travis with the beautiful lake view and the sunset. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. How How old are you now? I'm 22. Okay. All right. That makes actually a lot of sense now. All right. So, you got the young homie that said he wants to take you to Oasis. I'm not sure exactly. Is that a Is that a restaurant here? Okay. Okay. And then we got the wholesome homie. Come back here. We got the wholesome homie that's, you know, he wants to get to know you a little bit. He said flowers, chocolates, if you like chocolates, you know. So, after meeting these two gentlemen, what are your initial thoughts about these guys? Do you have a favorite? You want to ask them any more questions, Jackie? Um, what else? Race. The race. Where you from, big dog? Well, I just moved from uh SoCal. So, I'm from Los Angeles. So, I I moved to Georgetown. Georgetown. Went to Georgetown University. No, no, no, no. I just moved I just moved here to Georgetown. Okay. Okay. Never mind. And but she was What's your Where's your family from? My So, I'm originally from the Bay Area. So like I say, are you white or Hispanic? Yeah, bro. I'm Hispanic. I'm Hispanic, but uh originally What country, Big Mexico, El Salvador? America. All right. All right. All right. Yeah. He's He's He's one. Yeah. All right. All right. What? What about you, Big? I'm a Mexican American, born and raised in Austin, Texas. Hook him. All right. Yeah, he's Hispanic, you know, but you know, he's a little different, you know, and but you know, these are two different vibes, but you know, you get a little bit more information. Now, the ball's in your court. Obviously, when you get to know someone, it takes time. You're not going to like on stage, you're not going to know everything about somebody. So, is there anyone that you want to, you know, maybe get to know a little bit more or ask any more questions? I do have one more question. I live in San Marcus, so how would y'all feel about the drive going down there? Like, would y'all want to drive down there, pick me up? Cuz for my man, I want him to come pick me up, take me to places, and then drop me back off, you know. So, all right. How far is the drive from here to where you live? From here, just like 20, 30 minutes. Oh, bro. I will always take you anywhere, wherever you want. I'll pick you up anytime, any day. Oh, all right. Let's see what this guy has to say. He's like, "I'm going to pick you up in a Tesla that I don't even own. What about you, Big? So, I live off of South 183 and I actually went to school at Texas State, so I'm used to the San Marcus area. All right. All right. So, we got some competition now. Let her decide. What are your thoughts, Jackie? Who would you like to go with? This homie right here or the Tesla homie? Who Which one do you want to go with? I think this homie just because the other homie went up for Nancy. We got a winner here in Austin, Texas. Congratulations. Look out. Hey, man. Thank you so much, bro. All right, guys. What do you guys think? Huh? Are they a good match? Do you guys want to see a romantic vessel tonight? You guys know what to do. Get in there. Give her a little kiss. Oh, no kiss for you. Get a little on the cheek. on the cheek. Gave her on the romantic is congratulations. Be a gentleman. Help her off this. Make sure she gets off the stage. Okay. Yeah, man. Get the Instagram. Wow. What's up everybody? Listen, 2025 is almost coming to an end. All the cities are on my website, martimed.com. And we even added shows in 2026. Go get them tickets at martiamini.com. Love y'all. Peace. Yeah. Yeah. You know, Austin Austin is like a it's a really tough. I mean, I've done a few shows already and it's like it seems like everyone's like it's tough to find a like a I guess the dating scene out here is pretty uh pretty rough, huh? Yeah. Huh. Ladies. Yeah. Yeah. Ladies, what's going on with the guys in Austin? What's wrong with them? You think? Oh, where y'all from? Where? London. London. The Oh, wow. You're just visiting. You're from You're just visiting from uh London. Her first time and your first time. Our third time. You just like to come to Austin for the for the Oh, you love Texas. What is it about Texas that you really enjoy? The people and the food. Yeah. Are you on the dating apps here or No. Oh. So, you're in town for a little bit, you know, and uh typically like what kind of guys do you go for? You like the the white homies, the the season homies? We got a lot of variety. We got different flavors here tonight. We got homies with taheen in their dicks, you know. Do you know what taheen is? Tahin. It's like a little season. Mexicans, huh? It's a little seasoning. What's your What's your bag? Where's your family from? North African. Oh, cool. Very nice. Exotic. Nice. There's a lot of homies here that you know that they would love to like I'm sure like to take you show you around Austin. Would you like to meet a nice uh Austin gentleman? She would. Yeah, she would. She would like to meet a nice guy. Okay, so we're going to find you a nice guy, but we have to figure out what's the what's the criteria? Would you like you? She a long list. Oh, she she sounds like a [ __ ] Not like in a bad way, but in a positive like in a like in a very royal queen, you know? And but you know, there's a lot of guys here in the tech world. There's a lot of homies here and Oh, you're in tech. Yeah. Yeah. See, I knew I knew you're stuck up. Not in a bad way, but in a in a very like, you know, positive. You have to be very selective, right, with who you want to go out with. That's all I'm saying. We'll find you an equally selective guy. And maybe Do you like tech guys, though? Tech guys sometimes are not the You what? You have a weird job. Okay. What's the weird job? I thought you said they're in tech. What you hydration? You're a hydration what? You're a penetration tester. [Applause] Whoa. There's a lot of homies that want to work for you. Now, I would like to go ahead and penetrate for for the love of the game. Okay. So, when you say penetration tester, what are you what kind of penetration are we talking? From behind, from the front? Hm. At the what? Can anyone translate at the [Applause] Oh, oh, the hackers. The hackers. So, penetration test. So, Oh, okay. Oh, so you you intentionally hack try to hack people. You penetrate the system. Well, right now, the way you're talking, there's some homies that want to penetrate you. Okay. So, you have a weird job. That's fine. You're in tech. We'll find you. You We still haven't got to the part where like, what do you like, though? No. No tech. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No tech. Yeah. It's a bunch of like uh Is it because they're like kind of nerdy? Incels. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Weirdo. We're interesting. Okay, we'll find you. I I have a feeling there's a lot of like non the opposite of incels are at this show. There's a lot of male horrors here. No, no, no. We'll find you. I think we got to find you a nice educated nice guy. Maybe like a wholesome homie. Okay. So, who here has gone to college? Make some [ __ ] noise. Y'all went to college. You look like you rob people at college, bro. What college did you go to? Okay. And what'd you major in? Nursing. Nursing. Okay. Did you end up becoming a nurse or No, you're a nurse now. Oh, fantastic, bro. And then uh and what about you? I went to Texas&M. Okay. And what did you major in? Sociology. Nice. Okay. We got some educated homies in there in the front. All right. Now, I think uh you know, I feel like there's a lot of guys here that might want to, you know, give you a shot. So, would you want to come on stage and see if we can like find you a nice guy tonight? All right. Give it for the penetration tester. Here she comes. All right. Sociology. All right. Nurse homie. All right. Come on down. Here she comes, guys. Straight from London by way of North Africa, the Majesty. Here we go. All right. Thank you so much. What's your name? Yasmin. Keep it going for Yasmin one time. Wow. All right. Yasmin is looking for a non-insel guy. No tech, no nerdy homie. She's looking for Would you say, is it safe to say Yasmin a masculine man? Yeah. Masculine man. and man, you know, you know, take control, maybe be a gentleman, masculinity, but also be a gentleman, have some manners, articulate, express his thoughts, sentences. Now, are you like um are you social? Do you like to go out clubbing or do you like more like uh indoor? What's your what's your vibes? No, I'm a homebody. Homebody. Home buddy. I work from home, so I stay at home like a lot. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. Okay. So, you want a guy who kind of matches that energy or do you want a guy maybe to who has a little bit experience going out maybe to show you around? My ex was a bit like that. Oh, your ex was a little bit of a social butterfly. Too much. So, you want more someone who match a homebody like a like a nice cute guy who's like, you know, a little bit innocent and not too not too crazy. A little bit outgoing, but not too much. A little bit outgoing, not too much. I'm not a jealous person, so you can go. I don't really care. Oh, she's not a jealous person. Fit and funny. Good. Good. Thank you for your contribution. [Applause] All right, Now, is there a cut off on age or do we want to keep like keep it keep it open? I'm 29. So, what's the youngest? Like two years. So, 27. Okay. 27. I did the math. All right. And how and then what's the cut off for age? Older. Yeah. What's the cut off? You think? I don't want no creepy homies in their 40s be like, "Eh." What's the What's the cut off? Five years. Five years. Okay. So, uh 34 35 around that. Okay. All right, guys. Yasmin's looking for a fit, funny guy, a wholesome homie, articulate, not too social, but not too shy either. She's looking for a nice guy with a college background. That's not an incel. Is there any single homies here that wants to come on stage for Yasmin? This is your [ __ ] chance. Make some [ __ ] noise right now. Oh, you want to come on stage? Let's go. We done. We got one. All right. This guy looks fit. His face is funny. Let's see. Let's see. He's got a good personality. Don't worry. He's going to come. Don't worry. I got He's got a great personality. All right. Anyone else wants to come on stage for Yasmin? This is your chance. Oh, we got one. Come on down, big dog. Let's go. Nice to meet you. Be a gentleman. Say hi. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the British double kiss. Where's the other guy? Where's he at? He's in the balcony or no? Where is he at? Oh, you coming down, big dog. Come on down. Oh, here he comes. Wow. He's coming to save the queen. All right, we got one homie from the balcony. We got this gentleman right here. Is there anyone else that wants to come on stage for Yasmin? This is your moment. Austin, Texas. Too shy, man. Yeah. No. No. No. We got one guy coming. No. No. No. Anyone? Anyone else here? You coming on stage? Oh, no. This is That's the server. I was like, "Oh, no." All right, let's get to know this gentleman. You know, what's your name, big dog? Carlos. All right, keep it going for Carlos one time. Oh, we got another one. Hell yeah, big dog. Nice to meet you. What's your name? Emanuel. Emanuel. Keep it going for Emanuel and Carlos. Wow. Two masculine guys. Wow. I like we got all different types of flavors right here. All right. So, we're going to start with Carlos. Get to know Carlos a little bit. Now, you guys, I don't know if you've seen my videos, but we're going to get to know him. Get to know his personality. See where he wants to take you on a romantic first date. You know, really test their articulatesseness and their intellectual. All right. So, Carlos, what do you do for a living? I have a social media company. Oh. What's the name of your company? Hey, look, it's Carlos. Pretty simple, pretty light. You know, you sound like a scammer, bro. All right, it's okay. We're going to get to know Carlos a little bit now. He has a He's a social media. He's an entrepreneur. And uh when you saw Yasmin, what made you want to come on stage for her? Grab the mic, look her in the eyes, be masculine. I mean, I know what I like and I like what I see, girl. Okay. Okay. Straightforward. Straight to the point. All right, that was Carlos. Now, Emmanuel, we're going to get to know you a little bit, big dog. Uh, where you from and what do you do? I am from Houston, Texas. And I work in finance at a tech company. Okay. He works in He was finance and at a tech company. Oh, finance at a tech company. That's different. He's not He's not He's not in tech. He's finance. He does the He crunches the numbers, maybe. All right. Now, Emanuel, when you saw Yasmin, what what caught your attention about her? What made you want to come on stage for her? Grab the mic. Look her in the eyes. First it was the accent and your smile. And if I don't if I remember, you came from the balcony, correct? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So, you really saw that smile, huh? Tell me. 2020 vision, man. Whoa. All right, Yasmin, we're going to get to know him a little bit more. Is there We can ask them where they want to take you on a romantic date. Or do you have a question that you want to get to know? What's the question that you want to ask? Um, what's your opinions on 50/50? Oh, her question was, "What's your opinion on 50/50 on the bill?" Correct or everything? Damn, you taking it deep, huh? All right, so this is a good question. I think we're going to start with Carlos on this one. What's your opinion, Carlos, when it comes to 50/50 with your partner? I mean, I'm very traditional, so I like what roles are set, you know? So, I mean, that kind of says a lot, you know. So, I'm very very very very uh what's it called? Yeah. Yeah. I like I mean I'm very mo uh what what did I say? I I like I like the I like what roles are, you know? I don't I don't want to say certain things. Traditional. That's a PG word, right? I I like traditional roles. All right. I think Carlos just eliminated himself. I mean, like, what's the what's the traditional conser? It's a PG word. It's a PG. Yeah, but PG is not the right. It's PC, big dog. All right, Emmanuel, take it from here, bro. I feel like you got this. Unless you're [ __ ] dumb as [ __ ] I think Emanuel's got the All right, you got No, no, you got it. Emanuel, what's your What's your opinion on 50/50? Yeah, I think when you're dating, the guy should Oh, sorry. My bad. My guy. Hey, I'm playing it. I think when you're dating, the guy should take care of everything. Uh when you're married, I think everyone should contribute to the family just so that your kids can have the best life. Whether you're rich as [ __ ] or not, you can, you know, you give your kids the best opportunity. But the guy should take care of almost everything, though. All right. So, Emanuel say when you're dating, you know, men should pay for everything. And then when you're married, there should be some contributions from everyone. So now keep in mind, Emanuel, he's in finance for a tech company. So he knows how to, you know, he knows how to budget a book. Carlos, on the other hand, homie was struggling to complete a sentence. But we did. No, no, no. But Carlos did say I know. And he did he did say that he's traditional and that he's PG. He's PG-13, you know. So, I think what Carlos was trying to say, articulate was uh he'll pay for everything cuz he's old school. Is that right, Carlos? Yeah. Nod your head. So, you got one guy who says he'll pay for everything but might have a drinking problem. You got another guy, you know, who said that he he pays for everything. Now, what's your thoughts on uh you know, what are your thoughts on 50/50 dating and marriage, Yasmin? What's your what's your opinion? I don't like stingy men. You don't like stingy men. In my culture, the men are providers. So, I'm used Oh, the men are the providers for everything. And my job is not very compatible with like if I want to have children, I'd be difficult to do my job as well. So, would you say uh you know if you were to say like you know in marriage fast forward many you know when you get married that you would want to be taken care of. Is that what you're saying? Now, Emanuel, is that a problem for you? I don't think so. Now, Carlos, what about you, Carlos? With your social media company taking off, oh, hey, it's Carlos. Once you make millions of dollars, is finance going to be an issue financing your relationship or your marriage? Hell no. I believe him. Now, the ball's in Yasmine's court. She has the control of the situation. She can decide if she wants to ask these guys another question or do we want to see where they want to take you out on a romantic date? Or you can stop the whole thing right now if you feel comfortable. What are your thoughts right now? You want to see where they want to take you out on a romantic first date, get to show you Austin a little bit, have some fun, or would you want to just go ahead and just You've heard enough. What's your thoughts? Um, I feel really bad cuz today's my last day in Austin. I'm going to San Antonio. You're going to San Antonio? Oh, okay. Tomorrow. How long are you in San Antonio for? A night. And then we're going to South Padre Island. Oh, when are you coming? Nice. Well, Emanuel has a lot of money, so he can uh he said he can visit you there. No, but uh you know, when do you when you come when you when you come back to Austin? In a week's time. Okay. So, Carlos has something to say. I just want to say I got experience with London girls. So, European I've been experienced. So, [Applause] Not even. Okay. Okay. Girl from Birmingham. Oh. Oh, he he's dated. He said he dated a Birmingham. Yeah. Yeah. That's I guess that's worse, bro. All right. So based on that information you as me is do you want to go ahead and uh you know or you want to you want to go ahead and elim eliminate the homies and go back to your seat or did you hear anything that you liked from Emanuel that makes you maybe want to give him a chance? You want to see where he would take you out on a nice date or do you want to go ahead and sit back on your seat? What do you think? I want to sit in my seat. You want to sit back? Just cuz I live in London. He lives in Texas. It would be difficult. Uh it would be long distance. Okay. Okay. Well, thank you so much as for coming on stage. Appreciate you. Emmanuel, you are very nice. Car Oh, Car Carlos. Car. Carlos, don't give up, bro. He was shooting homie was shooting from the grave. Thank you so much, Carlos. Thank you, bro. Appreciate you, big dog. Good luck with your future ventures. On the beats, making hits with hooks. [Music] Okay, boy. Let's talk about it. I know you snitch. Don't think I forgot, [ __ ] Now I'm coming for your neck. Got to kill one just to keep them other ones check. So many people want to down me on the way to the top. Can't reach.