She Who Leads Herself - Day 1

[Music] He, oh.

[Music] Hello, gorgeous people of "She Who Leads Herself." I'm emotional about this program. I am so excited for this journey with you. This is going to be a two-week journey. We've got three live modules with me. This week, we're going to get an activation by the one and only Jaclyn Shaw, which I'm going to bring on here in a moment. Then we're going to have another three modules by me, and then there will most likely be a last and final activation by Jacqueline.

So, this is going to be a big program. This, for me, is the most sacred part of the whole journey. This is this frequency that we're going to be talking about in this program. For me, is what is going to change the world. This is it. This, this is the Holy Grail, the most meaningful, important angle to this work that there is, in my opinion. And I have forged my entire beliefs, my company, everything I stand on, from the principles that stem from from what this program is about.

So, I first of all want to just tell you how much I love that you're here because you being here means that we value something so similar. Your presence in this room is the greatest joy of my life. I am so happy you value this. I am so happy you felt this. I'm so happy you jumped into this. Like, this means something to me beyond just like, "Yay, we're doing a program." This feels like we're, we're taking a slice of life together, and it's so much more than the program. Like, the fact that you would hear a conversation like this and choose this, and a lot of people go for the shiny object, the thing that's going to guarantee them a quick fix, and like the fact that you chose this, like, this, you are my people. Like, this is, this is it.

So, I want to thank you so much for being here. The whole team is excited to be here. The whole team is really looking forward to this. We love these kinds of conversations as a team. Like, we're always very excited whenever we have the opportunity to lead things like this. And so, the Alpha FM team is here for you during this program. If you have any questions, you can always tag the Alpha FM team in posts, or you can message them directly on in on Instagram or Facebook. We are Alpha FM on Instagram, the Alpha FM team on Facebook. You're going to see a support team in this group. So, you'll see names pop up like Emma Alpha Team, Vanessa Alpha Team, Cam Alpha Team, Nicole Alpha Team. You'll see Lisa Alpha Team, Kimberly Alpha Team, Tammy Alpha Team, Mahen Alpha Team. It's very clear who is the Alpha Fem team.

Other people that you will see kind of jump in who are facilitators with me are Jaclyn Shaw and Amy Elizabeth, who will sometimes show up a little more than other participants. They co-facilitate with me inside of Alpha Fem in different aspects, and so they will also be shining lights inside of this program.

This here is all about you getting what you came for. And so, your job here is not just to listen like a sponge. Your job is to question, to be part of the energetics of this, to to live by it, to do something with it. Not, don't just listen, implement. That's why I made it a little bit bigger and more spacious so that you have time to live things within the context of this course so that you can truly experience yourself in this program. Because there's so much that we're going to do together in this space, and the power we have access to, and how fast we can touch it in a program like this is shocking. This is what I love so much about this work is that when you touch it, you realize what's possible for you and who you can be on a daily basis.

I, I find that having a little taste of it and then deciding later to dive deeper into it is how most people's journey goes. People don't usually jump into long journeys. They feel drawn to something and they touch it, and then they're like, "Oh my gosh, I want to touch that again. That was powerful. That was something different than I've ever felt before." So, that's my intention for you in this program. And I'm going to activate something with you in here that changes the construct of your life, that from this point forward, you feel more like a woman than you ever have in your whole entire life. I want to take your connection to yourself, your womanhood, to a whole other level. And I want to talk about leadership and confidence in the most empowering, sensual way you have ever heard it before. I want to take you deep into your knowing, deep into that place where your fire roars out of your mind, out of your overthinking, out of any fear, judgment, or overanalyzing. And I want to take you into the sacred place where you know yourself and you know how to lead yourself, because everything stems from that.

So, the first thing I would like to do is just tell you how this group is going to be held. Very simple. You can always jump in directly on the Zoom call. If you prefer to watch directly in the Facebook group, you can do that. And the replays will be hosted in the Facebook group. You'll have lifetime access to the replays. So, if you ever miss anything, please don't worry. You have lifetime access to that because you're in here. You also have access to the Maverick Intensive. So, if you haven't yet joined the Maverick group, make sure you get that because these two together create a cool energy. Maverick is very badass energy. This is more the goddess energy of leadership. Together, they're quite the vibe. So, because you're here, you get access to Maverick. If you're not in there yet, make sure that you are.

And everything will be posted in the guide section. So, module one, module two, three, four, five, six, and anything from Jack, will all be posted in the guide sections for your convenience so that'll be easy to find. And anything that I want or I'm trying to communicate with you will be pinned at the top as an announcement. And if it's really important, I'll also send you an email. So, the communications should be very simple throughout this program.

I will say, because of the power of this program, and this really is the kind of one that I want to shout from the rooftops, there are fun incentives to sharing this program. How I ask that it be shared: we're going to have quotes, we've got I'm in graphics, or also just like filming where you are intentionally like making a beautiful space for where you listen to this, filming it, sharing it, tagging Alpha FM, making testimonials about the program. Anything you do will put you in a draw, and someone will win $2,222 in Alpha Bucks, and someone will win a one-on-one life coaching call with me, um, on the at the end of this program. So, it is an incentive to share and to make this known because I believe if more women went through these kinds of conversations, we would all live in a very different world.

So, before we even kick off, I want to introduce Jacqueline to you. I want to bring her forward, and I want to bring just a little bit of context before I bring her up of why she's such a powerful part of a program like this. For me, Jacine is the embodiment of feminine energy leadership. She has this wise soul. Like, she looks 30, and she acts 175. Sometimes I'm like, "Where, where are you plugged into? Where are you tapped into?" She has this energy of raising people. Like, she has two kids of her own that she's raising in the most beautiful and creative way, but she also raises people. Every time she's in a space with me, that the feeling of her being in the room is like, everything gets tighter, everything gets stronger. The sisterhood is weaved really deep with her presence. She has the power to really listen and see what the group needs and creates really powerful activations with all of us in mind. Her work is very unique. I've never met anyone that does what she does before. But I have known Jacqueline since 2018, 2019, like a long time of mentorship and deep connection through highs and lows in her life. And I've watched her lead herself through very difficult times, very tumultuous times, and celebrate the hugest milestones. I have seen her through the spectrum of emotions, and I've watched her lead herself through big decisions, and I've been in awe every step of the way. It's an honor and a privilege for me to have someone I can bring forward and say, "Look, we started really at the beginning of her journey together, at the beginning of her big success together. I've watched every chapter of it, and there's not one part I wish didn't exist. I'm proud of every piece of her." She's, she is someone that I feel represents Alpha Fem in the most honorable way. She's unique, she's her own person, but she holds the codes like no one I've ever met. So, I really think her being in this program is an asset to all of us, is a gift to all of us. So, I'd love to have her introduce herself and just kind of give you a vibe of how she's going to interact with you in the program, uh, and what you can expect from her while she's here. So, Jack, come on up.

Hello, hello. Well, everything you said there, like, I am so honored to be in this space. And I'll tell you, as soon as you said that you got emotional opening this space, I felt the emotion before we came here. I felt the emotion for you, for me, for us in this space. Like, those of you who are here, we don't make it into a space like this by accident, by coincidence. And this was really the beginning of my work with you, was "She Who Leads Herself." And that's why I was feeling emotional coming into this space and being here on day one. And then I didn't even recognize until you were speaking, and that emotion was coming up for me. It was five years ago this week. Five years ago this week that I came into the Alpha Fem world, that I sent my first payment through for The Mastermind, and that we began our work. And this is literally where we began our work. When you say these conversations change people's lives, my life is completely different to what it was five years ago. And I will say, it is from this being the foundation, leading myself, understanding what that means to lead myself in order to lead others, to lead from a place of truth and magic and depth of wisdom that I carry, and that you all also carry, as we each carry our own unique codes.

And so, the activations I will bring into this space, this is what we're doing. Like, we are activating you at a deep cellular level. As Melanie said, it's, there's, there's, you know, things that we get with our mind, and there's things that will transcend your mind in these activations. And so, people always ask, like, "What exactly is an activation?" And it's, it's unique because it's unique to you. I will guide you in these activations. They're, they are unlike anything because these are activations that I create. And so, they're not meditations that are, you know, designed for you to meditate. They're not visualizations. They are literally like activations to activate you in energy and frequency and in these shifts in real time in this space over the next two weeks. And so, I'm already feeling the energy from many of you. I'm feeling the energy of this space. I know that these activations are going to be extraordinary. So, I can't wait to share the details on when those will come for all of us. Thank you so, so, so much for being here. And you look absolutely beautiful, as always.

Okay, so I want to read you guys something because I know a lot of you don't read the sales pages, especially for programs like this. Most people are like, "I didn't even read the sales page. I saw the logo and I was like, 'That's for me.'" Which also always makes me laugh and smile. Um, but here's one of the big things that I have found when it comes to feminine energetics and leadership is that there is, there is an undercurrent. There's a feeling. There's something that we have access to to touch that not everyone feels. It's so interesting. It's like when you're, when you're activated, when you're awakened, when you're in touch with your feminine energy, there's things that you're, you're, you're fragile to. Like, it, it'll touch you, you'll feel it. And other people will look to the edges of the earth to try to figure out what, what it is and what it's supposed to mean and what they're supposed to do. And then there's other people that just feel completely in the zone with themselves. And it's like, "Well, this wasn't hard for me. I just, I just knew it. I knew this is what I was supposed to do."

And so, in, in this "She Who Leads Herself," one of the big things we're going to be doing is activating that inner trust where it's like, you could feel the slightest breeze of opportunity on your skin. You're not going to work hard to look for the right things for you. It's going to really come into your life because you'll know how to be aware. A lot of us in feminine energetics, the beautiful thing about is this, so just so much softer than the masculine. It, it requires less, less searching, less trying, less reaching, less pushing, more surrendering, trusting, accepting, releasing, relinquishing. It's like letting go. Sometimes people are holding on so tight and they're trying so hard to see something that they're blind to what's right there. They don't see the forest for the trees.

So, I want to read this to you: "In the realm of leadership, there's a crown we each possess, though we do not all dare to wear it. It wasn't given to us by another, nor does it glitter in the light of external validation. This crown is a symbol of our inner sovereignty, forged through self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and a profound alignment to our core essence. A woman who leads herself doesn't wait for permission to step into her power. She claims her crown. She stands sovereign, unshaken by the expectation of others, unwavering in her decisions. Her power is not circumstantial; it's intrinsic, rooted in who she is, not what she does. When she wears her crown, it isn't a superficial display of power; it's a quiet declaration of self-mastery. Her grace lies in her ability to hold responsibility for her vision, her emotions, and her evolution. She leads with the kind of strength that commands without force, and with a poise that invites respect without ever having to demand it. This is the essence of 'She Who Leads Herself' – a woman who understands this: that true leadership begins within. The crown she wears is her own creation, a symbol of immense potential unlocked when she takes full responsibility for her life, her decisions, and her path. It's time to crown yourself. You are the leader you have been waiting for."

This is the energy of this program. Every single one of us has this. This entire world that is ours, ours to create, ours to lead. And until we own and fully claim that we're the one to lead it, that world waits. And so often, from past conditioning, we're taught like, "You've got to be faster, better, stronger, more something." And it all feels like something we're supposed to go outside of us and go get. Feels like something you're supposed to go run after or to push to become. In the realm of feminine energetics, it's not that it's necessarily easier. Sometimes, sometimes based on our upbringing, it's more complex. But the idea is to actually soften and surrender into the fact that the thing we need, we were born with it. And then we put a bunch of stuff on top of it of who we should be, of what it should look like, of what others expect us to do, of what would make other people happy, of what would make other people like us more, of what would make other people accept that we're in charge or in power, of what would let allow other people to respect us, instead of just surrendering, trusting, and going with the inner voice, the inner self, and the inner knowing.

So, the first thing I want to talk about is confidence. Because, because confidence really does have so many different aspects. And when we're thinking about leadership, confidence is such a big piece of the puzzle. But there are different gateways to confidence. One of the clearest gateways, the easiest gateways, is results. Results create confidence. Once you've become successful at something often enough, you become confident in it. There was a time you wasn't, you weren't confident tying your shoes, and then eventually you tied your shoes often enough that you became confident in tying your shoes. The results created the confidence. But what we're often searching for, and especially for us where we know inside we're supposed to do big things, but the opportunity isn't there yet, the credentials aren't there yet, we have to go build them before the results are in. How do we tap into that confidence?

And because we live in such a masculine paradigm world, because we're so drawn to the showing confidence and making it look like we're confident or doing things that look like we're confident, we're not doing the inner work. We're not doing the softer work, which is what is confidence really? And so, I want to talk to you about the magic of having conversations with yourself and how important those conversations are. And the angle that I've taken in my life that has opened a whole other world of confidence for me.

So, there was a time in my life where I imagined that confidence meant never wondering or wobbling or having any kind of doubt, not even with myself. Can you relate to that? Like, that means that I'm supposed to, even with myself, in the comfort of my own thoughts and contemplations, there's not even room for me to question. I'm not even allowed to be like, "Is this really what I think? Or is this really what I believe in? Or is this good for me? Or have I got this?" Like, I'm not allowed to do that because that would be a lack of confidence, too. I'm supposed to just know, and I'm supposed to just know everything.

Now, when I started softening into feminine energetics, I realized that there are two relationships. I have a relationship with myself and a relationship with the world. And my biggest problem was not the relationship I thought I had with the world. My biggest issue at the time was the relationship I had with me. I basically didn't let myself have one. It needed to be whatever I think with myself, or I feel with myself, that's what my relationship with the world is. So, it's got to be perfect, and it's got to be perfect now. And if it's not, there's something wrong with me. And then I would immediately start beating myself up. And then I would try to fix the thing I was beating myself up about in order to be better for the world. And I wondered why I was completely always triggered, annoyed, upset, on the verge of quitting, on a verge of a breakdown, overwhelmed, overthinking, not at ease, and putting on a pedestal this moment where one day I'd be confident. Like, "How to Gaslight Yourself dot com." How to warp your own life and constantly show yourself that you're not good enough.

So, here's the big shift. Here's what I started doing for myself instead. I was like, "I'm gonna have a meeting with myself. I'm gonna have a moment with myself. And in that, I'm going to actually discuss this with me." This thing I'm supposed to be confident about. So, let's say, for example, the thing I want is, I want to lead women in this world in being emotionally resilient, to help them build the life of their dreams, to have the relationships of their dreams, to build the financial, you know, situations that they've always wanted. Like, this is what I want, and this is who I want to be. And then I have this moment with myself where I'm like, "But am I, am I good enough?" So, this would be one of those, "Oh, now I either have to push to make myself good enough, or I have to kill that thought." Those are my two only options.

How I started building confidence with myself is I started asking myself, "Where does this fear come from? Do you genuinely believe that you're not good enough? Or do you fear that these people won't get what they need?" "I fear that these people won't get what they need." "Okay. Is it because you wouldn't give it to them? Or is it just because you deeply care about them?" "It's because I deeply care about them." "Okay. So, can we reframe this by saying, 'I deeply care about my clients and absolutely want them to receive this transformation, and I'm dedicated to giving them that'?" "Yes." "Is there anything that's missing there? Is there anything that's missing?" "Well, I feel like there's this one part." "Okay. Could I study a little bit more?" "Yes." "Could I lead myself in this area more?" Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's where the light would go off every single time. Where I feared for other people, when I questioned it and I asked myself all the questions where it would stick out, every single time was the thing I had doubts for them about was the place I was not leading myself.

So, if I wouldn't, I worried for a long time. I didn't want to, I didn't want to teach about money. I was afraid people, people would ask me to, and I would say no. I had this feeling inside. I wanted to, but I would say no. And it was like, "I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I don't have the confidence to teach about money." Until one day, I had this conversation with myself, and it was like, "What are you really afraid of?" And then it brought it. "What, what if they don't do it? What if they don't listen to the program and they fail?" And I had to ask myself, "Are you only doing the money stuff that you're doing, doing currently, for Kevin?" Like, "If Kevin wasn't there, would you be doing it for you?" I was like, "Oh my gosh, I don't think I'm actually doing this for me." And so, I made myself a promise that I would take my own money program when I gave it. That I would lead myself the same way the participants did. I made that promise. I sold out the whole program within 30 minutes.

There's something about feminine energetics that's deeply rooted in integrity and truth. And you cannot override integrity and truth with feminine energetics. So, one of the things that you'll see women who are struggling with a masculine paradigm is they will override integrity and truth for what it looks like and what it appears they want it to look easy, or they want it to look fancy, or they want it to look this. And so, they'll override the frequency of truth and integrity. And then they feel stressed, afraid that it's going to drop, afraid that it'll go backwards, afraid that they can't hold it, afraid that they can't keep it, afraid that someone's going to find something out, afraid they, it never feels the way we want it to feel.

And so, something I often explain when talking about the feminine frequency and leadership is the goal with with the feminine frequency is not just that you achieve your goals. It's that they feel the way you hoped they would once you achieve them. And for me, that is truthfully the best part of this work. It's not just you got the result. It's, it actually feels the way you hoped it would on the day that it happens. You're, you're saying, "Oh my gosh, this is exactly what I hoped it would be. This is exactly what I felt it would feel like. This is what I hoped. This is what I wanted. I built exactly what I wanted." Which is so much better than I, I built what I thought they would be impressed by, or I built what it should be, or I built what I thought I needed. Like, I built what I hoped it would feel. That creates a momentum in your body.

As wild as it sounds, feminine energetics are a match for pleasure. It's actually pleasurable for you to be successful. It's actually pleasurable for you to be fulfilled. It's actually pleasurable for you to make a decision. Pleasurable. Yes. And pleasurable. No. Big projects are pleasurable, and time away is pleasurable. Early mornings on a mission are pleasurable, and lazy mornings in bed are pleasurable. Early nights because you're excited for tomorrow are pleasurable, and late nights under the stars are pleasurable. You lead yourself not because of what you should be doing. You lead yourself because of the deep soul satisfaction it feels to be so in love with your life. And the thing about living this way is that it's as if you become a human magnet.

So, when we look at people and we see confidence, what we now call confidence, the real thing in feminine energetics that we're looking for is not even the word confidence. It's magnetism. When I watch that person, I am drawn to that person. Because I'm not always drawn to confidence. There's certain types of confidence that repel me. Like, you're so confident in your opinion that you're not open-minded. You're so confident in your opinion that you're not aware of other people's feelings or or way of seeing life. You're so confident that your method or your thing is the right one that you don't have any openness, you don't have curiosity. I, I'm not drawn to you in that sense. But magnetism, that feeling where your aliveness actually brings people to life. Like, "When I'm with you, I feel alive." That's feminine energetics.

And the thing with this, and you, if you're in the Alpha FM world and you've been here for a while, this is the frequency of like, "magic on legs." You walk into a room and you just walk right in, like magic on legs. People like, "Who is that?" Is it confidence? Or is it just pure embodied pleasure, which equates to magnetism? And there, the thing we've got to believe in this is that there is a mature feminine that makes it that pleasure isn't irresponsible. Because for a lot of us, we think, "Well, we can't always do what we want. We can't just always, life isn't like that. You can't just always be happy. You can't always do what you want. What about other people?" There's a difference between the immature girl and the magic on legs, completely embodied, self-led woman who understands that there is a pleasure angle in everything that she really sets her heart and soul to. There is a way for this to be pleasurable for you every step of the way. And if you override that pleasure, eventually you forget it exists.

So, I'm going to ask you, have you ever, even if it's been, if it only lasted a few months, have you ever felt like disconnected from yourself? You maybe even said to people, "I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm in a rut. I, nothing really excites me. I just, I don't know what I want. I feel like I, I feel like blah. I feel numb. Nothing feels yes. I, I've lost my spark. I've lost my edge." Right? If you were to trace back what happened in the preceding months before that, I guarantee you, you were in a phase where you were doing what you thought you should be doing, where you were trying to either be well-behaved, where you were trying to do things the right way, or you're trying to fit in somewhere, or you're trying to not mess up, or you're trying to look confident, or look like you were just this or just that. And instead of being in your body, in your pleasure, in your magnetism, you were more like an observer of yourself, judging your behavior, judging your ways, judging how it appeared, wondering how other people thought it looked, wondering if you fit in, wondering if you were good enough, like outside of you looking down, instead of within you shining out.

It feels almost like it's not allowed, like it's forbidden to be in that much pleasure all the time, to actually do what brings you deep pleasure. Like, we're allowed to live like that. And the answer is yes. Not only are we allowed to live like that, the real truth is that when you live this way, you light everybody up. Everybody. There is no disservice to anyone on a positive mission of you being lit up in your pleasure and in your leadership, of putting yourself at the forefront of your life and leading in integrity for what's right for you.

So, you'll often hear me say things like, "For me, for you, for us." "For me, for you, for us." This frequency changed my life because I used to operate on a "me" frequency or a "you" frequency. And it felt like, depending on how I felt, I either did everything for me, or I did everything for you. And the issue with that is, if there's no "me" and "you" at the same time, there's no "us." And "us" is the frequency of relationships. And relationships are what change your life, fuel your life, change the world. Like, interconnectedness is humanity. And so, when you're only operating in the "me," what do I need? What do I want? What do I like? I don't care what other people think. I'm just going to do what I want. That's very masculine. That's a masculine "me." When it's like, "I'll do whatever it takes for you. Who cares about me? I don't need sleep. I don't need rest. I don't need anything as long as you're satisfied." That's also a very overgiving, a very masculine "you" trying to make a result, trying to get you to like me, trying to get you to love me, trying to get you to approve of me.

The feminine, the energetics of the feminine, for me, for you, for us, is the frequency of "us." The fact is, if I put you first, there is no "us." Because if I put you first and I didn't consider myself, you don't know for sure that I wanted to do what I just did for you. If I care about me and my pleasure is at the forefront of my life, and you know that, and I do something for you, you then know that it was my greatest pleasure to do something for you. That's where the "us" exists. We see so many people do stuff for other people all the time and then complain about it. And I think that's why a lot of women resist gifts, help, and attention because it isn't true that just because someone gives you something, they wanted to give it. And a lot of us experienced that at a young age. "Well, I told her she was beautiful, but can't believe she fell for that." Or, "Well, I mean, I, I gave you, I gave you everything, and I, I didn't ask you for anything." "Well, yeah, you did. You needed this. You needed this. I wish you wouldn't have given me anything then." Holding it against me when you give to me, not meaning it. When you give to me, I don't want it then.

So, how do we ensure that "us" frequency is? When I would never go against myself or anything, so when I give to you, you actually know that me giving to you is a part of what brings me joy. Me giving to you is a pleasurable thing for me. That creates intimacy. Me giving can be love. But me receiving from you, that's intimacy. There's no "us" without intimacy. There's no "us" without receiving. There has to be a flow there.

So, when you think about feminine energetics in leadership, it's a lot less about what you can make people do, and it's a lot more about what people effortlessly do in your presence. This is why I really feel like this is what the gateway is to the next phase of humanity. Is people who don't do what they're doing because they were forced or pushed or or coerced, because they were afraid, or because they were trying to fit in. It's people acting from a place of alignment, integrity, truth, love, and "us." We, together, the collective. This only exists in this frequency because I'm not trying to make you do anything. I'm not trying to make you feel anything. As I am who I am, I open a portal, and the people who resonate with the way that I am are magnetized to me. And as you are who you are, you open a portal, and the people who are magnetized to you, Ma, find their way over to you. And no one can be left behind in this way of being.

So, the confidence that we're looking for is not the confidence of like, "I am capable. I am good enough. Someone else gives me their approval." It's the confidence of, "I am doing exactly what is correct for me, and I feel so good about it. This feels right. This feels good in my body. This is in the right direction. I feel the frequency of us. I feel the frequency of truth. I'm in complete integrity with the things that I'm doing."

So, why this is such an incredible thing is that you can start building confidence from nothing. In all the other ways that confidence is taught, you have to go find something to build confidence with. You've got to be confident at doing this, confident at having that, confident at being with those kinds of people, confident with in this way. It's like a self-generating skill. The more in integrity with yourself you are, the more you lead with mature pleasure, not just "I don't want to" and "I wanna," more like, "Oh gosh, that brings me joy. That brings me satisfaction. I would love to do that." Versus, "H, I'm not feeling that. I won't do that. But you know what I will do? I will do that." A deep, womanly way of leading with pleasure and enjoyment. So, people around you get overflow of your bliss, overflow of your correct decisions, overflow of your your magnetic self, not what's left over after you've given everybody everything else and you're trying to just have a moment to yourself. The overflow of who you are, not the scraps.

When you start being like that, you inspire everyone. So, let's talk about who gets inspired by a woman who leads like that. First of all, you want to consider your family. When you are depleted and you're exhausted, you can imagine how your children are interacting with you, or how your partner is interacting with you, versus when you are in deep pleasure and you are overflowing with like, "You know what? I would love to do today. I would love to do this. Let's do this." The feeling of being able to give you pleasure and be a part of the things that bring you joy, everyone loves to be a part of that. So, you start to model that. People around you change their language. But furthermore, when they hear you speak, they're really drawn to all the things that would genuinely make you happy, instead of, "I should do this today. I should do that today. I've got this to do. I've got this to do." There's a feeling of like, "Today's going to be a great day. I can already feel it." Just in the way that the plan is being set forward.

If you think about your employees, when it's like, "Okay, okay, here's the plan. Here's what we're doing. I feel, I feel really good about this. I feel really nervous about this. This is good. This is how I'm feeling. This is what we're doing." There's a feeling of like, "We're in with you. We're supporting you." Instead of, "This is what you should do, and this is what you should do, and this is what you should do. This is what I should do, and it should have been." There's this feeling of like, "Here's where we're going. Here's what we're doing. That felt really good. Oh God, that felt really good. This is feeling really great." There's an energy with your pleasure. When you're in alignment with your business, even your employees will get in the zone with you. Clients will be magnetized to you. And you're like, "This is what I love to do. This is my zone of genius. This is who I am."

Can you imagine? Who here has employees, just out of curiosity? Who has employees in their business? Can you imagine telling your one of your employees at work, you have 14 employees? Oh my gosh. So, imagine showing up at a workday and saying, "Okay, today I'm really excited. I'm feeling so good. This is what we're doing." And that your employees respond like, "Oh my gosh, this is so exciting! This is totally my zone of genius. I have so many great ideas. I can't wait to lead this for you. Or I can't wait to do this for you. Today's going to be a great day. I can already feel it. I feel so good about today. I've got good feelings about today. You've got such a great energy today. You're really bringing it. I have a feeling it's going to be good." Can you imagine having that kind of feedback from your people? How that might ping pong with your energy to receive that kind of feedback of like, "Okay, we've got this. And here's some great news. And here's some great feedback." Where people are excited to bring you good news, people are excited to bring you good energy because they know it feeds you. What would that be like?

And imagine your customers feeling that you are such a pleasure-filled human being that they say things like, "I knew you'd like this. I want to share something with you. I think you'd really like. Since I used your product, this happened to me. This, since we used your service, this is what's been going on. I know you love hearing these kinds of things, so I just wanted to give you more of that. I have a story to share with you." And that they know it'll land because people love to give where the receiving feels amazing. So, it's like, "Let me just, can I just tell you this incredible thing? I, I think you'll appreciate this. I think you'll like this. Let me share this with you." It's all coming from everywhere.

And then, can you imagine sitting in a bank meeting and the bank manager says, "I've never seen this kind of money before. We've never seen a business model like this before." Imagine sitting with a tax accountant and a, all, you know, all the legal jargon people who say, "This is the most intriguing, magnetic, beautiful thing I've ever seen. I've never seen money come in this way. I've never seen this kind of business. This is extraordinary. This is amazing." Imagine being sitting at the places you wish to be in the most, and people say, "You're fascinating. How, how did you do what you did? Your energy is intriguing me. I'm drawn. I want to know more. Tell me everything." Imagine having conversations that just roll and people say, "I love talking to you. I love when you speak. I could listen to you all day. I love having discussions with you." Imagine that's how the people around you are responding. That is magic on legs energy. That is the frequency of a person who is generating their own magic.

And why this is so important is because most of us aren't generating our own magic. Most of us are responding to other people's non-magic and deciding whether or not they are worthy of our response. We're saying, "Uh, gosh, that bank meeting was so boring. They didn't know anything about my business, and they didn't know any of this." And, "H, gosh, that client call did not go well. And that date didn't go well." Because the minute we're faced with someone who we don't think understands us, we let them lead. I've seen the so often in my life, women who really associate as leaders, women who have their own businesses, their own companies, women who lead all over the place, but they tell, they say things to me like, "It's very hard to be excited when people..." Whatever comes after that doesn't work unless people are the leaders. "Who leads?" "I was gonna have this great thing, but then my child said this." "Who leads?" "Me." "Are you sure? Because the minute the child did this, you changed direction. So, who led in that moment?" "Oh, oh."

The other thing that tends to happen is women say, "I don't want to have to lead everybody. I don't feel like it. I don't. I'm exhausted. I don't want to be the one that has to lead." You don't have to lead everyone. That's not what this course is called. Not "She Who Leads Them All." "She Who Leads Herself." You can be in a room where everyone is being their own self, and you, you lead yourself, and you lead the way for you, and you decide how you want to feel and how you want things to go for you. You are the one for yourself. Everyone could be in a certain mood, and you could say, "I'm going to go for a little walk." Or you could breathe and just say, "Gosh, I'm so grateful that's not how I feel." Or completely leave the meeting and say, "I think we should reschedule this. I don't. I feel like there's a, there's a much better vibe for this." Or you could turn the music on and say, "I think we all need to just loosen the energy around here and get back to it in a second because this is not who we are." And completely change the vibe with who you're being. But most people don't want to take that. They think it's a responsibility that's too heavy to change the frequency.

So, what this program is really going to be about is, can you lead yourself when the circumstances aren't perfect? Or do you get overtaken by the circumstances? Do you really lead yourself? Or recently have circumstances led you? Has the economy led you? Have your peers led you? Have your employees or your employer led you? Have your clients led you? Alpha Fem has made it through some absolutely extraordinary things, like things that a mo, almost everyone I know would have probably said, "Okay, well, it was a good run. I'm done. Close up shop." But the thing is, I don't let other people lead me. If they affect me, I immediately go into my internal leadership. The minute I feel the effect of another person, I up the game in my leadership. So, this is not a program about how to no longer be affected by people. That's humanity. But it, it is a program on you deciding whether being affected by other people is what leads you, or if you can lead yourself no matter what.

If you are self-led, self-created, self-funded, you are unstoppable. You lead. You reign. You are the one. There is nothing anyone can do if you are self-led. They can't derail you. You have your own rails. They can't do anything to you. You're in your own self. You lead yourself. They can try to make you mad. They can try to make you quit. They can try to make you change. They can affect you, but they can't lead you unless you're willing to be led, because you lead yourself.

This is about having allies instead of heroes. So, if you can imagine, instead of being like, "Okay, so Melanie is my hero. What's Melanie gonna say? And I need to do that." It's like, "Melanie is my ally while I lead myself. I know she knows I lead myself. She leads herself. She's an anchor for me. She's an ally. She's the, she's the energy that represents that I know I'm not alone in this." But she doesn't have any agency over me, any authority over me whatsoever. It's just an ally. In the same way, this person, whoever else in your life, is not a villain. They're just not an ally. You don't need to be at war with anybody. You just find peace within yourself. You find peace within yourself, and you find, you find allies to walk with on your journey.

And so, this is why this is such a deep journey of emotional intelligence, meaning you're able to be emotional and still find your intellect and your mind at the same time. So, the first session today, and what this is re, what the focus is on to open this program, what I want you to look at is, where have you put confidence on a pedestal as far as leadership goes? Where have you, you not let yourself lead, whether it's in money, business, relationship, wherever it is, wherever you feel like you're not good enough, you're not confident enough, where have you put confidence on a pedestal instead of really seeing it like, confidence is the relationship you have with yourself. Confidence is the integrity you have with yourself. It's the words you say to yourself and how you say them. Confidence is not about an external validation. It's about an internal knowing that no matter what happens, you're going to figure it out. How often have you put confidence on a pedestal and and imagined you were less instead of going on this journey?

So, when we bring this back, and I, oh, I love to.

Do this so much, it's it's helped me so much on my journey. We compare to little kids. What makes a confident little child? Well, obviously, if they've just started walking and they're really proud that they can walk. You know, Jack has started walking now, and when he walks, he's got a little strut going on. He is confident in this walk. It's like, "Bam, bam, bam, bam!" He is walking. He is so proud.

When he first started walking, he was wobbly. Three, four steps, boom, on his butt. Three, four steps, boom, on his butt. But now he's confident. Bang, bang, bang, bang, confident. But that's confident in what he's doing. Then there's the confidence in who he's being. And that sometimes occurs when he's sitting by himself, playing with a toy, and not asking for help. Just sitting there, rolling it around. In the stillness and the quietness of his being, he's not wondering if he's doing good enough, if he's playing with it right. He's not asking for help. He's just well within himself.

As we grow up, those moments of self-confidence become less and less because we always imagine there's something we should be learning faster, doing better, that someone's watching. There isn't a lot of just enjoyment. Where a lot of the confidence comes from, from childlike behavior, is from pleasure. Jack is confident when he is pleasurably walking across the room. When he feels wobbly and there's a chance he's going to fall on his bum, he's not having a lot of pleasure, and he's also not having a lot of confidence. When he's playing with his little truck on the floor, he feels both pleasure and confidence. Where in your life have you stopped experiencing pleasure? The actual enjoyment of what you're doing?

A lot of you here are entrepreneurs, and you started this adventure to feel freedom. And freedom, not the superficial freedom like you don't need to do anything, you've got tons of money, and you don't need to do anything. That's not what you, that's not why you became an entrepreneur. Think about what actually drew you to this. I, I've said this before, but my desire, my goal, my want, my wish, all I wanted was to be able to go for lunch. That was what freedom felt like to me. The thought of having a lunch in the middle of the afternoon, like a fancy pants free person. Like, you wake up in the morning, you get some work done, and then you go for a spot of lunch. Who am I? So fancy. That is freedom for me. A spot of lunch.

Then it became being able to wake up at whatever time I wanted. No alarm, no alarm, and go out for lunch. Listen, lifestyles of the rich and the famous. Okay? Then imagine you can wake up at whatever time you want, you get to go for lunch, and you don't even worry about the bill. You don't even even look at the menu when you're ordering. You're like, "El the champagne, and I don't even care because the money is in the bank. I don't mind. Give me everything." And also, "Bye for the table next to me." Voila, freedom. And then how about I do all of that, but somewhere else? Like, it's cold in Canada. Let me go do this in Mexico on the beach. Let me go do this in Ibiza. Okay, wake up whenever I want, I go for a spot of lunch, I order whatever I want on the menu. The person next to me gets lunch paid too, and I'm in Ibiza. What is getting better and better?

It wasn't until much later in the journey the pressure became, "Wait, but how much money do you make? And how many hours do you need to work? Do you have to check your phone often?" Those metrics actually put me in masculine energy faster than any other thing. That's not where I measured my freedom from, how many hours I worked or exactly how much money I made. That wasn't it. And so, it's okay to have metrics in your business. You're allowed to have those. If they give you pleasure, that's how you balance the masculine and the feminine. I can have masculine things if I enjoy them. But if adding the masculine thing makes me no longer enjoying the feminine, it cancels it out.

So I want you to look at where did some of your confidence go out the door with things that bring you no pleasure? Maybe you have a lot more freedom in your life than you thought. Maybe you have, like, the dream coffee machine in your house. You know, remember when you had a really bad coffee machine that was really bad, and you thought to yourself, "Gosh, I wish I had one of those coffee machines." And now you have one of those coffee machines. Remember when you used to work so early in the morning that you had to pack a lunch in a box, and you, there was no way you could ever even stop for coffee on the road because you would have been late? Or you used to take the bus? Or think of something that shows you the the difference, how much you've grown. Where's the pleasure?

Because the thing with feminine energetics is that it really is like the book of your life. And the book of your life is set and cast in the pleasure of your life. The pleasure and the displeasure that you feel, and how you lead yourself to go receive that pleasure. Or the plot twist where you go against the pleasure and you realize life is yours to create. And then you go back to your pleasure. This is the plot twist of every movie or every book written. For a woman, somewhere along the line, she loses focus on herself and her joy, and she ends up somewhere where she gets a bunch of external validation and absolutely no pleasure. And then she feels like a hollow version of herself. So she breaks free from the masculine construct, then goes on this journey of redefining what joy and pleasure means to her. Becomes a free spirit, magic on legs. A million opportunities get drawn to her. She picks one, she loves it, and she loves happily ever after. That's literally the storyline of every good female energy book. Why? Because that's what we all do. We start free. We start in charge of our own lives. We start hungry for desire and burning for passion and joy and excitement and freedom. And then we get caught up in fitting in and doing well and measuring up and being admired and applauded. And then all the magic dies.

So either you have the magic and it's alive in you, and this is going to just reiterate. Or either you have added way so many masculine constructs on top of your pleasure that you've forgotten the joys of being a woman. So we are going to reconnect you to some of your simplest pleasures, and we're going to see how you can lead yourself to experiencing more of those in your day-to-day life. Now, the idea here, this isn't witchcraft. This isn't like I was sitting there and I was feeling pleasure, and all of a sudden, poof, the ideal client came through. Like, it's not like that. But it's actually shocking how much it looks like that. To the point where when we actually start living in this way, it is so wild how fast things change that it kind of looks like witchcraft. And then people get real annoyed by it. So much so that some people get so afraid at how fast they're manifesting and how much people think that they can't be true, they start to judge it. They say it's not possible. They want logic. They're like, "Tell me the step-by-step how you did this." You're like, "I, I listen, I woke up, I had an orgasm, I ran a bath, I sat in the bath, I came out of the bath, there were $30,000 in my bank account. I don't know what to tell you. That's all I did that morning." Like, "But what did you actually do?" But that's what my day was. That is what my day was. Right? But what did you do the day before? It was very similar. Day I went live on Instagram, I led one of my courses, that was great. Okay, but like, what about your, what about you're this and you're this and you're this and you're this? Well, I didn't really focus on that. Well, that won't last.

The thing is, it does. Because your magnetism draws people in more than any other algorithm. Your ma, your your magnetism converts people more than any sales page. Your magnetism moves people better than any speech or morning meeting. Your magnetism moves people more than any logical thing you could possibly do to try to move people. Because your magnetism moves you effortlessly. And if you move, they move. Just like that. The thing is, though, you can't fake it. You cannot fake magnetism. So because you can't fake it, people that can't do magnetism do systems. And it's not, there's something wrong with systems. Because if they give you pleasure, you can have magnetism and systems. It's an abundant world. But those can't be magnetic. Find ways to artificially generate traction. Magnetism has been the gateway. And I have tried to explain this to masculine energy minds, and they get infuriated with me. It drives them bananas. They don't understand how on earth it's possible. It drives them wild. But they're not willing to learn to be magnetic because that seems too complicated. So to each their own. That's why I feel so excited that you are here. Because if you are here, it means deep within your spirit, you are very well aware that there is something in you that is more powerful than anything generated artificially. There are people who have the magic within them, and there are people who create it with computers. We are have the magic. And what I love about this is it, it works in every situation of your life. And this is how you start to live where it's like, this is a life well lived. Because everywhere you go, you feel that magic. You lead yourself in conflict. You are the eye of the storm. Something goes wrong, you show up. You're the eye of the storm. You're able to lead yourself through it. If there's an opportunity, that magnetism is even more important than confidence. People are like, "If there's an opportunity, I want her to have it." When there is a romantic opportunity on the horizon, you're already on the frequency of pleasure. And if there is one thing that we are drawn to from other human beings, is people who are open to receiving pleasure. It's the hardest thing to fall in love with someone who's not open to be loved, not open to be touched, not open to be vulnerable, not open to be intimate, not open. The more open you are, the more magic on legs you are. So suitors are drawn to you effortlessly. Effortlessly. Business is drawn to you. Money is drawn to you. Everything is drawn to you.

So what we need to figure out is how to not let the masculine logic that tells us, "You should be doing this, you should be doing that, this isn't sustainable, this isn't the right way, you need to be better, you need to be this." Those are all the voices that kind of stifle the feminine. But the feminine is provocative. The feminine breaks the rules because the rules don't apply in feminine. It's like trying to cage water. It's like, "I've already slipped through the cracks, my love. Good luck with that. Already flowing downstream. You can't cage water. It just goes right through. We're we're the flow." And so you get to add as much masculine as it serves you. But there are masculine structures that you will actually enjoy. And the evidence of this is that when I built my business, I already knew what it was like to follow all the rules at a job. I knew if I was going to have my own business, it was definitely not going to be to follow rules. And so I was always very creative. This is the outcome we need to create. "I don't like that way. What other way is there?" A pleasure-filled way. A "yes" way. A a way that makes me smile. A way that makes me happy. It stopped being about the best way, the top performer way. It started being about the pleasurable way, the satisfying way, the enjoyable way, the way that didn't feel like work. Then I got my life back.

So why women have the power to be so magnetic is that we really understand pleasure at a totally other frequency. Like, women and pleasure, it's hand in hand. We understand the smells, the tastes, the sights, the textures. Everything. It's built inside of us to have these things. You get to create a life in the image of your ideal texture of what you want your life to be. How much romance, how much joy, how much laughter, how much miracles, how much magic, how much discipline. You get to, you get to craft it how you want. But you can't be led by another person's expectations. Because other people's expectations will most likely, almost 100%, be in the masculine. How much you've worked, what it looks like, what you achieved, how serious you were about achieving that, how focused you were, how dedicated you were, how long it took you to do something, how far you went, and how fast. Those are all masculine metrics.

So we've talked about a few things here, and the goal is to set the tone for our conversations. But the real big picture here, and what I want you to look at, is how much masculine have you let in that does not bring you pleasure? Where are you tracking with masculine energetics? Where are you tracking timing, results, followers, likes, how long it's been that you've been doing this without a result, or that success, failure, all the masculine stuff? And do you find it pleasurable? If you find it pleasurable, you could keep it. But if when you think about it, you realize it's like, "Well, this does not float my boat. This does not feel delicious. This feels crunchy. This does not feel like succulent, juicy. This feels like dried chicken, dry chicken energy." Your chicken is dry. When you think of these things, we want juicy chicken, not dry chicken.

So we're looking at your life from a perspective of, "I'm obsessed with what I've got, and I go for the things that light me up." Instead of, "I should be grateful for what I have, and I'm doing my best, and it's never enough." Which is the majority of people. And we've been taught to do that from a very young age. So we're flipping the script. No more shoulds. We are not shoulding on ourselves anymore. We are really going into that magnetic aliveness. And we're we're looking at it this way: Why lead yourself somewhere you don't want to go? And if you don't want to go, why would they want to go? So a lot of leadership on the planet is people doing things they don't want to do, in a way that they don't want to do it, going to a place they thought they'd want to end up, knowing that's not what they exactly wanted, trying to get other people to end up there, telling them they should, even though they've already figured out they don't want to go. That's leadership from most people on the planet. It is a very frustrating job. There's not a lot of pleasure in that. It feels like a lot of manipulation and coercion. It feels like a lot of uphill climbing.

You can do this motivation, inspiration, constant pushing. This is you swanning up the mountain, sashaying in the most seductive way, while people just walk this enchanting climb because it feels aligned to do so, because you're going where you want to go, and it's enjoyment every step of the way. And your magnetism, as you're walking up there, is too, too beautiful and magic not to look at. And it's not possible to let you go out of sight because you are the most magnetic thing I've seen in a very long time. And I'm not about to let you be the one who got away. And so I will sashay with you up the mountain, and I will find creative ways to walk with you in this lifetime. Because wherever it is that you are going, it's very clear that you enjoy it. And if you go, I go. That's the kind of leadership we want. And we want this in our romance, in our friendships, in our business, with money. I don't want money to come with me because it should. I want money to feel like, "If you go, I go." I go where you go. I want to go where Melanie goes. Melanie knows how to give me a good time. Money goes where I go because I know how to give money a good time. Friends go where I go because I know how to give friends a good time. Kevin goes where I go because I know how to give Kevin a good time. And not because I'm trying to please, because I'm in pleasure. You don't need to please people when you're in pleasure. They're pleased. They just like watching. They just like being a part of it. They just like being in the space of it. But we've been taught it's selfish to be in pleasure, that it's wrong to be in pleasure.

So we're going to define the mature womanhood. Not not just like, "I'm misbehaving and I like it, and I'm causing a mess and a ruckus, but I'm allowed because I'm a grownup. This is pleasurable for me." And there's a for me, for you, for us. The world lights up when I light up. I'm the lighthouse that shows everyone else the way. I know this is the way to do life. And when people watch me, they remember. I'm not forcing anyone to do anything. They're choosing because there is no better place. There is no better way. This is the way. They feel it. I feel it. I know it. They know it. I would never ask them to follow me because I trust they'll do what's right. And they would never, like, they're following not because they're afraid to fail or because I told them to, but because they're enamored with the the feeling, the energy, the intention, the direction. They want what we have, which is pleasure. Their intuition is sensitive. They felt the breeze on their face. They said, "Where you go, I go." This is the kind of leadership I'm excited to live with you.

So you're going to look at in your life, where have you brought in masculine metrics that you do not receive pleasure from having in your life? What are the things you feel you should do that have taken over the things that you love? You do less of what you love because you do more of what you should. And you've even recently found yourself saying, "You should do more of what you love." Oh my my good Lord, we have gone off the deep end. We're just going to look. You don't need to change it. You don't need to fix it. And you're not going to fight with yourself about it. You're actually gonna say, "Thank you for putting me in this program. That was a good move. We are in a good place. This is good. This is great. I am very happy about this decision. I feel in pleasure about this breakthrough. This is great. Thank goodness for this." That's how we deal with those breakthroughs. Just enjoy observing yourself from a pleasure perspective. Nothing wrong, nothing to change, no metrics. By the time we're done with this, you will have never felt more excited to live. You will feel excited to lead yourself, knowing that other people follow, not trying to make them follow. You will lead yourself in a way where it's like, they would be, it would be a shame for them if they didn't, because you know where you're going is great. You wouldn't take yourself any other place. You're the one leading. Enjoy this piece. If you feel in, if you feel like enticed to share, if there's a share coming through, share with us. Every emotion is good. If it makes you laugh, the dried chicken stuff made you laugh, laugh right about it. Have fun with it. If it made you smile, if it made you feel alive, if it made you happy, share us with us about that. If something about it turned you on, lit you up, you remembered something in your sacredness, your sensuality, you reconnected to yourself, to your body in a certain way, let us know about that. Whatever happened. And if you're feeling a little sad for the time you've lost, you're allowed. See if you can go a little further and find pleasure after the sadness. If you feel a little frustrated, you're allowed to be frustrated and angry. Just see if you can find pleasure after the anger. Don't let the sadness be because of a metric. Don't let the anger be because of a metric. Let it be an emotion that can be followed by something else. Because we're also going to hold a lot of duality in this program. Thank you for being here. I am really grateful that we're doing this, and I can't wait for the next module. Have fun. I'll see you soon.

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