Transcription
Dr. Laura: Samantha, welcome to the program.
Samantha: Hi, Dr. Laura.
Dr. Laura: Hi.
Samantha: I'm a big fan.
Dr. Laura: Thank you.
Samantha: Hi. So I just need to know what the right thing to do is in this situation. This has to do with myself, my best friend, or I should say she's on the verge of being my ex best friend. We were actually friends for 35 years, so it's actually pretty sad. So just a background story. My son is 15, and a couple months ago in March, he was. Had a rough night, long story short, ended up in the psych ward, was put on a psych hold. This was involving drugs. And he was diagnosed with a substance abuse disorder. At the same time, the day he was released from the hospital, we had coincided, we had planned this trip six months prior. Her family, my best friend's family, and myself and my son were supposed to go on a week ski trip. So we rented an Airbnb together. So now once all this happened with my son, of course the doctors and everybody that was taking care of him knew about the trip. And I said, you know, I'm willing to cancel it. Whatever you think is the best for him. They suggested that it is the best thing for him because he was also going with his best friend, spending a week on the slopes. That's great. Good stuff. Part of his therapy. But there was one stipulation, that there was to be no alcohol and drugs around him. That's no problem for me and my family because we don't partake in any of that, you know, the odd drink here and there. But that wasn't a big deal to give that up for a week. However, my best friend's boyfriend, I think
Dr. Laura: that was an outrageous thing for that doctor to say. It was silly and outrageous because the whole point of getting clean sober is to do that. Regardless of what's going on around you, other people should not be imprisoned by your lack of impulse control. So that was outrageous. And if you. Woohoo. And if that's the reason that one of them on the other side wanted to have their cocktails, that you're thinking your best friend shouldn't be your best friend anymore, totally off track in my opinion.
Samantha: Okay, that's not why I don't want to be best friends. The reason is I asked her this because I, I mean, what you just said to me, that's the first I'm hearing from m that perspective. And it actually makes sense when you say that. I'm not making excuses for the doctor, but I think it was because it was the, day, then
Dr. Laura: you should have just gone off with your son someplace and stayed alone. Please don't put this on anybody else. Your son is the addict. Nobody else should have to pay the price for your son's behavior. That's not fair.
Samantha: Right.
Dr. Laura: It's not reasonable. And that puts you in a little denial that this is indeed your son's impulse control.
Samantha: Right? Yeah, that's true.
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Samantha: Well, so I asked her if that was something that they could give up for the week with alcohol. She had no problem giving that up. But her boyfriend, is an alcoholic. A functioning alcoholic. So she went back and forth saying, I don't will come because I want to support you because we've been friends for so long.
Dr. Laura: So you're friends and wanted to go. You wanted to go on a vacation with your son and a girlfriend who has a total drunk for a boyfriend. That was a choice you were making, whether or not your son was an addict. I'm trying to understand. I wouldn't be on a vacation with a drunk. I don't even understand you doing that.
Samantha: I do question that choice. I know.
Dr. Laura: Oh, my God. And you have the nerve to be mad at somebody else. You're asking a drunk to give up booze.
Samantha: Yes. So what ended up happening was she basically said, we're not coming.
Dr. Laura: That was a good decision.
Samantha: The payment back. Yes. So I'm just wondering. What. How do you handle the refund of this place?
Dr. Laura: I don't know.
Samantha: Did I just refund her.
Dr. Laura: Okay, I don't know. I don't know that point. I don't know. Okay, you're the one who put the fly in the ointment.
Samantha: But. Yes, but the other. Your insight is very, very valid, and I do appreciate that.
Dr. Laura: You already accepted going on a vacation with an alcoholic, a drunk. You already accepted that reality when it wasn't convenient. You said, you can't be. You can't be what you are. I don't want your boyfriend there. So they pulled out. So, yeah, I think you refund it.
Samantha: Not fair.
Dr. Laura: Because you pulled the plug, which I wouldn't have, made that plug in the first place.
Samantha: Made the plug. Right, right. I hear what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. And I do agree with that. I shouldn't have done it in the first place.
Dr. Laura: Yeah, yeah.
Samantha: Okay.
Dr. Laura: Okay, sweetheart.
Samantha: Okay. Thank you very much. I really love your show and I appreciate everything you do.
Dr. Laura: Thank you. You're very welcome. Okay. All right. I love your stories. You know, they're interesting.
Dr. Laura: I really appreciate them, so keep them coming. What's my prescription for better, stronger, happier relationships?
Dr. Laura: Easy.
Dr. Laura: It's the all new Dr. Laura podcast, featuring a morning monologue by, yours truly and a call of the day handpicked by me. Listen daily and get a dose of my preaching, teaching and nagging at drlaura.com or on the SiriusXM app, or wherever you listen to podcasts. It's all good.