Infidelity Destroyed A Long-term Marriage. Cheating Wife Stories, Reddit Stories, Audio Stories

She walked out the door. I knew this would happen. This has been brewing for some time. I noticed the signs for several months. She was distant, then irritable, then indifferent, then confrontational. No matter what I said or did, it didn't help. There were very few good times during those months. In fact, the good times were when we were with friends. It distracted us from our miserable lives.

My name is Kurt Randolph, and she is my wife, Sue. Well, she's my wife for a little while longer. I have already spoken with a divorce lawyer to draw up the divorce papers. 26 years of marriage end not with a bang, but with a cry. I will call my son and daughters to let them know this next weekend. I just don't know where we went wrong.

26 years of marriage, all but the last few have been good. Not great, but good. Life was not full of pleasures, but we had a good life. Our children, Glenn, Julia, and Rachel, are all healthy, well-adjusted young adults. Two of them are still in college, and one graduated six months ago. Maybe this was the catalyst for our problems. The empty nest syndrome started when our first child went off to college. It affected her more than I thought. She changed dramatically. Although our sex life was never very high, we enjoyed each other's bodies. Well, until about 3 years ago. Since then, no matter how much I hint, made moves, or begged, nothing happened. It was menopause, and I had to deal with it, which meant sex would no longer be a part of our life together. Needless to say, this led to many heated arguments. I finally gave up and decided not to argue about it anymore. Why would I want to be intimate with someone who doesn't want me?

And then a few months ago, she changed again, and not for the better. Now she's leaving, and honestly, it's hard for me to feel anything close to sadness. I know where she is going. To her lover. She didn't care about having sex with me, but with a guy 10 years younger than her, she spends hours in bed. When I first noticed this last change, I knew something was going on. Of course, I cared, just not as much as I should have. But I had to find out, so I started asking.

I work 50-60 hours a week at 3M Corporation in Aberdine, South Dakota. I'm a process engineer. It's, it's a great job, except that sometimes I have to come in at odd hours. Sometimes I'm on call, and if something goes wrong that the technicians can't fix, it's my job to get them back to work. Being on call has caused several problems in the past, not being able to get away for the weekend, or missing the kids' Saturday soccer games, or even an evening meal. However, the pay is good, and Aberdine, despite being the third largest city in South Dakota, is small enough that it still feels like a small town. I like it much better than living in a big city. We tried this for several years in St. Paul, Minnesota.

There's nothing going on in this city that anyone doesn't know about. If you ask someone who knows someone, someone has seen or heard something. It wasn't until a week after I asked my best friend, Paul, that he came back to me with a sullen face. "You were right, Kurt," he said. "What did you hear?" "She meets a guy at least once a week. Carol, one of her colleagues, is my cousin. She said this has been going on for at least 3 months. He picks her up in the parking lot, and they come back an hour later," Paul said. Sue works at Midstate Printing. She's a secretary, sorry, Administrative Assistant. I think the word secretary is now offensive. She has been working there for about 15 years. She returned to work shortly after our youngest child started kindergarten. I have to admit, for a 48-year-old woman, she still looks good and doesn't even look 40. I'm sure that's what attracted David Perkins, this scoundrel, took my wife's affections for himself. He is a paper salesman for Heartland Paper, a paper mill in Sioux Falls. He visits the Midstates regularly. I checked it out after Paul initiated me. David Perkins, divorced with two children, 7 and 10 years old. As far as I can tell, he cheated on his wife. She found out and filed for divorce. This, this was 4 years ago. I think cheaters don't mind making others cheat. I wonder if Sue is his only victim. I hope for her own good, yes, but I doubt it.

Now it doesn't matter anymore. Sue left with the excuse of going alone for a weekend at the spa to give my mind a break from the tension between us. What a joke! I know it will be with him, not just for a few hours like 2 weeks ago when she took the day off to be with him. Carol called Paul, who called me when she found out Sue had taken the day off. I took the day off too and followed her as she drove out of the parking lot. She went to the Holiday Inn, and guessed who was waiting for her there. So I called a divorce lawyer and started the process. She was supposed to be served the papers during a spa weekend. I only have to call when the GPS tracker on her Yukon XL stops at my final destination. I know some will say I should have confronted her about it, but after three long years of no intimacy, you start to wonder if it's worth it. Love never dies, but you start to think that maybe you both would be better off with someone else, or even alone. For her sake, I hope so.

I have always been the kind of person who can enjoy any situation. Why live your life focusing on the negative when there is so much good around you every day? So here I sit, phone in hand, tracking her progress as she rides towards her destiny. I'm excited and a little anxious about going to Sioux Falls. I'm going to spend the next two nights with David, my friend and lover. He understands me. He listens without judgment or wanting to fix me or my problems. He doesn't demand anything from me, and because of this, I view what I give him as a gift. No pressure, no expectations, no whining or begging like my husband Kurt did. He just doesn't understand when a woman begins to go through the change. She doesn't need sex as much as she did when she was in her 20s. She needs someone who will listen and just love her for who she is. David has been that someone for me for the last 3 months. We started having lunch and talking together. I could talk to him about everything. He listens and makes me feel special, like I'm more than just a mom or an administrative assistant.

Two weeks ago, he asked if I could have a half day of fun. I knew he was asking about sexual relations. He had been hinting at it for the last month. He mentioned in passing how much he loved to pamper a woman and be attentive to her desires and needs. This guy, 10 years younger than me, showing attention and desire, really got me thinking. I agreed to take Thursday afternoon. I had accumulated hours. He booked a room at the Holiday Inn. I was nervous, of course, but I decided that this person knew me and cared about me. I wanted to show him that I cared about him too and wanted to thank him in a special way. We, we lay there exhausted for about half an hour. I wanted to get home before Kurt, so I got up, took a quick shower, and got dressed. "Do you think we can go away for the weekend?" David asked me. "I can find a bed and breakfast on the river near Sioux Falls, and we could enjoy the views, nature, and each other again. The autumn leaves are just at their peak." "That sounds great," I don't know, really. "What am I going to tell my husband?" "Tell him you're going to the spa for the weekend. You need some time to yourself. Is he such a terrible person that he won't allow you some time to relax?" "I don't know if he'll even notice," I said, thinking about how our relationship has deteriorated lately. "Well, I'll organize it in two weeks from this Friday, okay?" "That sounds wonderful, David. I love spending time with you," I said. "And you know that I love spending time with you," he said.

I left thinking that we would meet again in a couple of weeks. I drove straight home, returning around the usual time. Of course, Kurt was gone. He always works late. I felt a little guilty when I walked through the door. This was our home, which I shared with my husband. I walked through the living room into the kitchen and saw a large photograph of the whole family hanging over the fireplace. Then I saw our wedding photo in a frame sitting on the mantle piece. I stopped and looked at both photographs. "What, what have I done?" I thought. I know Kurt and I don't get along, but is that a reason to cheat on him? I shouldn't do anything that will raise suspicions. I'll just do everything as usual. I went into the bedroom and changed into jeans and a t-shirt, putting the clothes in the laundry basket. Then I went to the kitchen to start preparing dinner. I decided to make one of his favorite dishes: stuffed chops and mashed potatoes.

I remember that day very clearly. This was the last nail in the coffin of our marriage. She was in the hotel room for more than 3 hours. I'm not stupid. I know what they did. It broke my heart. It's been over 3 years since we've had any form of intimacy. She didn't even want to kiss me because that always leads to you wanting sex. The most I got was a quick peck on the lips, and even that didn't include a hug. I drove around the city after I saw her leave the hotel. I didn't want to go home. I didn't know what I would have done to her in the emotional state I was in. At 8:30, I pulled into our garage, turned off the car, and sat there for a minute or two. "What were you doing? Did you stop by a few minutes ago?" she asked as I was just getting out of the car. "Uh, spoke on the phone," I said. Thus began the lie. "I made dinner, but it's already cold. I wish you'd call when you're going to be so late," she said in an irritated tone. "Sorry, there was a problem that I didn't know how to solve. I may have to stay late a lot in the near future." It wasn't a lie. I didn't want to be around her.

That was 2 weeks ago. Now she's off for her spa weekend. I've been coming home late every night these past two weeks, and on the weekends, I've been spending time working in the yard and winterizing the house. We were like roommates, but not for long. As soon as she gets to her destination, I'll call Tom Andrews, the sheriff. One of the benefits of living in a small town is that you know a lot of people. Tom and Marsha were friends; we visited their home many times and vice versa. I spoke to him a couple of days ago and asked if he could serve the divorce papers on my wife. He was shocked until I filled him in on the details. "I'm really sorry to hear that, Kurt. You and Sue have been together for a long time." "Yeah, well, for the last 3 years, we haven't been together physically at all," I said. "3 years? Wow. I guess now that you said it, the last few times we went out with you, there seemed to be some tension between you two. Now she's spending time with someone else." "Half of me wants to hurt her. The other half says there's no point in wasting energy on someone who doesn't love you anymore." "Sorry, Kurt. So, when do you want her papers served?" "Looks like Saturday will be the day. She's leaving for a spa weekend on Friday. I'll find out that night where she's staying. I'll track her Yukon GPS and see where it's staying."

It's over a 3-hour drive from Aberdine to Sioux Falls, where David had booked a bed and breakfast. So I ate fast food along the way. I arrived a little after 9:00. "David must have been waiting for me because he came out as soon as I pulled into the driveway." "Knowing that he was waiting for me warmed me inside." "I thought you never come," he said. "I was afraid Kurt would stop you from having your spa weekend." "He doesn't own me, and I wouldn't miss this for anything. I've been waiting for this since we talked about it 2 weeks ago." "Well, they just started ice cream in the cafeteria. Let's hang out, and then we'll get your bags," David suggested. "It sounds great. This is another indication that David wanted more from me than sex. Unlike Kurt, he did not offer to go straight to the room." After getting to know the hosts and other guests, we fed each other ice cream with cherries and whipped cream. I could tell David was eager to get started by the way he touched and fondled me frequently during the meeting. The guest house was beautiful, and the hosts and other guests seemed very friendly. After we ate our ice cream, we took my bags to our room. Our room was probably the largest of all the rooms available and overlooked the river. I was sure that tomorrow afternoon, in the light of the sun with bright autumn colors, the view would be simply stunning.

Sue's GPS stopped. I checked the address and found that it was a boarding house. Now I knew where to deliver the documents. I called Tom. "What's up, Kurt?" "I'm kind of numb. I think I'm unlikely to sleep much tonight, most likely less than she does," I said sadly. "Don't worry so much, Kurt. You do something about it. It's to just forget about it as much as possible and let the process take its course." "26 years old?" "Tom, 26 years old." "Yeah, that's tough. Are you sure you want me to give her the papers?" "Tom, it's been a few years since I felt like we're a couple. It just underscores the whole situation again." "I'm sorry, Kurt." "Thank you." I gave Tom the address of the boarding house. He said he would serve the divorce papers late tomorrow morning.

After my lawyer drafted the documents, I insisted that it be on the basis of treason. He told me that without evidence, we would probably have to change the basis to irreconcilable differences. "At least that's what the court records will say. That I tried to file for divorce on the grounds of infidelity," I said. "I'll wait until tomorrow to call the kids. I don't want either of them to call their mother and warn her. These calls will be the most difficult." As I looked out the window, David came up behind me and put his arm around my waist. I felt that he was excited to be with me. I turned my head to look at him, and he kissed me passionately. I answered him with the same passion, turning around. My hands slid over his body. He was shirtless, and I could feel his bare flesh. However, he was completely naked. While I looked into the night, he undressed. "Let me change," I said. "Don't change your clothes. I like you the way you are, beautiful and sexy." "Oh, but I'm sure you'll like it better if I don't have these clothes on," I whispered. His eyes widened, and he kissed me even more passionately.

That night was restless. I may have only slept for 2 hours. I kept thinking about Sue and that man. What went wrong in our marriage? When we were younger, we didn't want to go to work so we could be together. Reality told us that work was necessary, but our thoughts, at least mine, were always about returning home and being near her. When we had kids, our priorities changed, of course, but we were still a team, just a little bigger now. She has found someone else to be his team partner. Our life together is over. Sometime later this morning, she will be served with papers, and we will have two teams, just on opposite sides of the courtroom. Me with my lawyer, she with her lawyer, fighting for what we can get from the remainder of our life together.

I sat staring into space, lying on my bed. Didn't even bother to take off my clothes last night. I should probably get up, take a shower, and change into something that doesn't look like it's been slept in. I woke up naked with David hugging me from behind. I felt so relaxed, as if I had been sleeping for ages. I looked at my watch. It was 7:45, and we had to get up. "Breakfast buffet from 7:30 to 9." "David, we need to get up. We need to get cleaned up and go downstairs." "Let's skip breakfast and continue what we started last night," he said. "I need to pick up some juice if we're going to do this again," I said seductively. "Then let's do this quickly," he said, lying in bed. "I'll go shower first," I said. "That way, I'll have time to dress in something decent." "We could take a shower together, save water," he said with a look in his eyes. "No, we need to focus on our task, and that is to get ready to join the others in the cafeteria," I said. "Okay, but then come right back," he said. "Let's see. I'd like to take a walk to the river, and after lunch, I want to go and look at the fall colors." "It sounds like a nice, relaxing activity to complement our more exciting activities," he said. I went to the shower, lathered myself up, and washed away the traces of the previous night's activities. When I got out of the shower, I put on my robe and went into the bedroom. "He fell asleep again. Come on, David, take a shower so we can get to breakfast while they're still serving it," I said. He opened his eyes, stretched, then jumped up and went to the bathroom. I started dressing in nice trousers and a blouse with a little cleavage. I pulled my hair back into a soft ponytail. "Kurt likes it when I wear my hair like this." "Oh, Kurt," I said to myself. "What happened to us?" "Us? I haven't felt close to you for many years. We used to be together against the world." I immersed myself in memories of our lives and wonderful events: weddings, the birth of three children, vacations, graduations, and our son's upcoming wedding to the young woman he has been dating since his third year of college. The bathroom door opened, and I quickly wiped my eyes and touched up my makeup as David started to get dressed. I couldn't look at him. I didn't want him to see the tears in my eyes. "Are you ready to go to breakfast?" he asked. "Yes, I'm ready," I answered quietly. We went down to the dining room and said hello to our hosts and the other couples. We took wonderful food from the buffet. Everything looked so delicious that it was difficult to resist overeating, but my figure told me that I need to watch what I eat. We sat and ate in silence. David tried to make light conversation, but my comments were reserved. I looked around the room. There was an elderly couple celebrating their 50th Anniversary. There was also a young couple who appeared to be celebrating their first anniversary. The other couples were of different ages. I noticed that David and I were the only ones without wedding rings. "I took off my ring on the way here last night." I quickly finished my food and turned to David. "Can we go for a walk along the river? I would love to enjoy the views and the fall colors." "Sure, and then after lunch, we'll drive around the area and have lunch somewhere along the way," he said. As we walked along the riverbank, David took my hand and gently stroked it with his thumb. "It's so beautiful here," I said out loud, not necessarily to him, but just to nature. "Yes, beautiful," he said, "but not as beautiful as you." I smiled. He complimented me and my appearance so often. He has been doing this since he took over the Aberdine area for his company about 6 months ago. He made this 48-year-old woman feel young and attractive again. "Let's go back to the room. I want to express my gratitude for this wonderful weekend," I told him. He looked at me with a huge smile on his face. When I came out of the bathroom, he was already waiting for me on the bed. At that moment, I heard a knock on the door. I put on my robe and opened the door a little to look outside. A man in a sheriff's uniform stood on the threshold. I opened the door a little wider and asked, "How can I help?" "Sue Randol." The voice seemed familiar to me. It was Tom Andrews. He and his wife, Marsha, are our good friends. I just rarely see him in uniform and a cap. "Volume?" I said, my mind flashing. "Why is Tom here?" "I'm here on official business," he said. My heart sank. My mind flashed through all the television shows where a police officer informs next of kin about a death in the family. He kept talking when I blurted out, "Is Kurt okay?" "No, Sue," he kept talking, but all I could think about was that Kurt was dead. Then I heard him say something about being broken and he can't talk to you. "So he's alive?" I said, and my heart started beating again. "Yes, but he is in very bad condition." My hands covered my mouth. I tried not to choke. The door slowly opened, and he saw David lying naked on the bed. I blushed with embarrassment and horror. He then handed me something and said, "You have been served with documents," and picked up his phone and took a photo. I was confused. "What?" I said, as he turned and walked away. "What? I didn't understand what was happening." "What?" I said again, completely confused. "Oh God, oh God," I said, falling to the floor. "Look on the bright side, Sue. Now we can be together without having to hide," David said. "Oh God, oh God," I repeated. After a few minutes on the floor, I stood up and grabbed my phone. I tried to call Kurt, but he didn't answer. "Tom just called me. He told me that I was right. She was there with a man. He was naked on the bed, and she was in a robe." "Thank you, Tom. I appreciate you doing this for me," I said blankly. "Are you going to be okay?" he asked. "I don't know, Tom. I'll call Marsha and ask her to come to you," he said. "I don't need her to do that. In fact, I just need to be alone," I said. "Thanks. I'll talk to you later." I hung up and turned off the phone. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to think about my marriage and my future. "I need to contact someone, find out what hospital they are in," I told myself. "He's not in the hospital, Sue," David said, puzzled. "You heard him say he was broken and couldn't talk," I stated. "That's not what he said, Sue. He said his heart was broken and he couldn't talk to you. I'm sure he can physically talk; he just doesn't want to." "What? Is that what he said?" "Yes, Sue. Soon you will be a free woman." I started thinking about my marriage and my future. It looked gloomy. I ran around the room getting dressed. "What are you doing?" asked David. "I have to leave. I have to talk to him." "You said that you, you are more like neighbors than husband and wife. Who cares?" he asked. "I have to talk to him," I said sternly. "What about the number? I have it booked for the weekend," he countered. "Enjoy yourself," I said, grabbing my bag and heading out the door. "Sue, he doesn't want to talk to you," he said. "Well, then I'll talk, and I hope he'll listen," I said, closing the door. My mind was racing as I walked to my Yukon, the SUV Kurt had bought for me. "What am I going to say?" I asked myself as I got into the Yukon and pulled out of the parking lot. My phone rang, and I looked at the caller ID, hoping it was Kurt. It was David. "Really? You left?" "Yes, I left. What about our weekend?" "How about giving each other something you haven't known for years? You'll probably be on your own. Give it to yourself," I said and hung up. "Men," I thought, "all they want is sex." Half an hour and five calls to Kurt's voicemail passed when my phone rang again. "Kurt, I'm on my way home right now. Can we talk about this?" I heard. Then the connection was interrupted. I looked at the phone. It wasn't Kurt. It was David. At this point, I didn't care if he thought I was a... Another half hour and five calls had passed when I saw lights behind me. "Oh," I said, looking at the speedometer and seeing that I was going 90-97 mph. "I wonder what the fine will be for going 17 mph over the speed limit." When I stopped, the policeman was in no hurry to approach the door of my car. He was probably checking my numbers. I'm usually a good driver. I haven't had a ticket in over 15 years. Maybe he'll let me off with a warning. When he came to the driver's door, I rolled down the window. I already had my driver's license and registration ready. "Why are you in such a hurry?" he asked me. "I need to go home to my husband. There was a misunderstanding, and he is not answering my calls." He looked at me suspiciously. "Why doesn't he answer your calls?" he asked, looking at my documents. "He's mad at me," I said, as he stood there. I saw him look into my car at the manila envelope on the passenger seat. He pointed to the envelope. "Looks like this is a little more serious than just a misunderstanding." I started crying. "Where are you coming from?" "From Sioux Falls," I said, sobbing. "It's a long way from Aberdine. What were you doing in Sioux Falls?" His tone made it clear that he had an idea why I was there. "I was stupid," I said quietly. He returned my papers along with a ticket for going 17 mph over the speed limit. "Stay below the speed limit," he said. He walked back to his patrol car. "Damn men," I said, starting the Yukon back on the road and slowly accelerating to 79 mph and setting the cruise control. I looked in the rear mirror as he followed me for about 5 miles. My blood pressure increased with every mile. Over the next hour, I tried calling Kurt a dozen times. "Damn it, Kurt, turn on your phone!" I screamed in despair.

It's been about an hour and a half since I received a call from Tom. I sat in my chair and decided it was time to call the kids. "How do I break the news to them?" I said out loud. When I turned on the phone, I saw that I had several voicemails from Sue. I didn't want to hear anything she had to say. I dialed Glenn, my oldest son, first. "Hi, Dad," he answered the call. "Hey, Glenn. How's the new job going?" "Great, Dad. I can't believe I get paid to design buildings. I like it." "Well, I hope you continue to love your job until you retire. So, why are you calling, Dad?" he asked. "Well, son, I have news. Are you okay, Dad?" "Physically, yes. Emotionally, no." "What do you mean?" "Glenn, there is no easy way to say this. I'm divorcing your mother." Deathly silence on the other end of the line. After about a minute, he said quietly, "What did she do?" I could hear from his tone that he already guessed. "She decided that doing things with someone else would was more important than doing things with me." "Is it true? What the hell? How long has this been going on?" he asked. "I'm not sure, but I think a few months," I said. "Damn it, Dad, I'm sorry to hear that." "Yes, I'm sorry to say so. What are you going to do?" he asked. "I filed for divorce. She was given the documents this morning." "Don't you think that you can get this settled?" he asked. "Glenn, if Jenny cheated on you, what would you do?" I asked. He thought for less than a minute, then said, "I would throw it away. I would kick her to hell." Jenny is Glenn's constant girlfriend. In fact, Glenn confided in me that he was going to propose to her on New Year's Eve. He already has a ring on order. "I'm so happy for them. Please don't call your sisters. I want to tell them myself. I'll try to contact them this evening." "I won't, Dad. I'll call you this evening to discuss this further." "Thank you, Glenn. Thank you for your understanding." "We can handle it, Dad. Don't hate your mom for this. This is between me and her." "She's still your mom and will need your support through this." "I don't know how much support I can give her, Dad," he stated. "I understand, but you have to try," I said. "Okay, Dad. She's still my mom. I love her, although I don't like what she did." "I get it, Glenn. I still love her too. I just don't really love her anymore." "Sorry, Dad. You didn't deserve this. Take care of yourself, son." "You too, Dad. Bye." "See you later, Dad." I hung up and sat there staring into space. I was lost in thought. At that moment, my phone rang, and I answered without thinking. "Hello?" I said. There was a few seconds of silence on the other end of the line, then the voice said, "Said Kurt." "Oh, Kurt, thanks for answering. We need to talk about this. I need..." I ended the call. It was Sue, and I didn't want to talk to her. I turned off the phone again and sat staring at it. I'll still have to talk to her, but not now.

I reached Kurt, but he hung up before I could say what I wanted to say. To be honest, I was surprised that he answered. I heard the voicemail so often that I didn't expect to receive it in person. Now that he responded, it really hit me. What will I tell him? How can I explain what I did? Sure, I could say I was sorry, but what else? I decided that I needed to think about it and collect my thoughts so that I would know what to say when we finally spoke.

I was driving, deep in thought, when I heard a ding and thought, "What was that?" I looked around the Yukon and then looked at the dashboard, and it showed a low fuel warning. I had never heard this sound or seen this warning before. Kurt always refueled my car. I never refueled myself. I didn't know how long I could drive before running out of gas, so I immediately started looking for a gas station. I found one, not a well-known one, but there was a gas station there, and that was important. I walked out, grabbed my purse, and pulled out my debit card. She inserted the card, entered the PIN code, and took out the gun. She turned and looked at the gas tank cap. "Damn," I said. She was on the other side of the car. I returned the gun to its place, got back into the car, and turned around. I had to insert the debit card again and pull out the gun. Now I couldn't open the gas tank cap. I tried to pull it, but there was no gap for my finger to open. I didn't remember there being a button on the dashboard to open it. I looked around. There was no one around who I could ask for help. I returned the gun to its place and went inside. There was a guy standing behind the counter watching TV. I heard the audience react loudly. When I looked, I saw that it was a rerun of the Jerry Springer Show. "Sorry," I said. "Can I help?" he asked, barely looking up from the screen. "I don't know how to open the gas cap." He looked at my car and asked, "How long have you been driving it?" "A few years, but my husband always runs it." "Simply press the right edge of the lid, and it will open." Suddenly, the crowd on the TV started making noise and sounding angry. The guy behind the counter looked at the screen and quietly said, "What a, what?" "I asked." "Sorry, not you. The woman is on the show," he said, pointing to the TV. I looked and saw the inscription at the bottom of the screen: "I stopped sleeping with my husband, but not with my lover." I stood there staring. Then the guy behind the counter said, "I can't believe what a is. How could she do this to him?" I felt the need to protect her. "Maybe she needed to feel beautiful. If her husband doesn't make her feel this way, then she should just divorce him. I know if I were in his place, I would give it up like a bad habit. I would throw her out on the street." I couldn't say anything. "That's exactly what Kurt does to me." I blushed, turned, and walked out, absent-mindedly heading towards my Yukon. I opened the gas cap, moved the cap, and took the gun again and inserted it into the hole. She turned around and inserted her debit card again. She was not authorized. I went back inside and asked, "Why?" "Let's try here," he said. He tried it and said, "It doesn't work. Do you have another card?" "Oh no," I thought. "Did Kurt cancel my card?" I pulled out my Mastercard and handed it over. "Luckily, this one worked." "All is ready," I thought. "Maybe your car cards were cancelled," he said, looking at me with an expression that soon they too would be cancelled. I fueled up and drove on, my mind reeling from the possible consequences of my actions. I tried to call Kurt again, but it went to voicemail again.

I didn't expect to hear Sue on the other end of the line. I thought it was Glenn calling back with something he wanted to tell me. "What will I tell her when we do talk?" I wondered. Where she was calling from, and checked her GPS location. She was just over halfway back to Aberdine. "I don't want to talk to her. I need to go somewhere else. I don't want to be here when she gets back." I went upstairs and packed a couple of bags. When I went downstairs to the living room, I saw a photo above the fireplace, a family photo of us taken when the children were still little. These were happier times. Finances were tight, but we were happy raising three children. There was our wedding photo on the mantle piece. I just looked at her. She destroyed our family. I walked over to the fireplace, took the photograph, and hit it with my fist. The glass in the frame broke, and some blood appeared on one of my knuckles. I took off my wedding ring, placed it on the fireplace, and placed the photograph face down on it. I looked around and went out to the car, leaving the door unlocked. I left and decided to spend the night at a hotel. After registering, I called Julia, my second daughter. "Hi, Jules," my nickname for her. "Hey, Dad. What's wrong?" "Do you have time to talk?" I asked. "Of course, Dad. It sounds serious." "That's right, darling. Speak, I'm listening." "Jules, your mother and I are having problems." "Dad, you and Mom have been having problems for 2 years now, since I left for college." "What happened now?" "Well, you know we both love you all of you. It just so happens that recently it all came to a head. There's no easy way to say it. We're getting a divorce." "Dad, I'm sorry to hear that, but honestly, it doesn't surprise me. Before I left for college, you often quarreled. It seemed like you were never relaxed around each other. I don't know what the problems were, but I'll tell you this: you two were not the parents I grew up with." "That's my Jules. She's always been insightful. She could tell almost immediately when Glenn or Rachel were worried or upset about something, even before Sue or I noticed anything. It had nothing to do with you children. It was between me and your mom." "Have you tried counseling? This might help." "I think it's pointless now, honey," I said. "I'd like you to try it, Dad." "I don't want to see either of you alone." "I'll think about it," I said, not very convincingly. "Really, Dad, think about it. Talk to someone before you decide to give up." "I'll think about it," I said more confidently. "I already talked to Glenn and told him. I'll call Rachel later. Don't worry, Jules. I'll keep you posted." "Thank you, Dad," she said with a stutter in her voice. I realized that she was about to cry. "I'll let you go. I love you. Remember that." "We both love you." Now I was on the verge of tears. "I love you too, Dad." I hung up and turned off the phone. I couldn't talk. I was all excited and started to cry. "Why is she doing this to us?" I said out loud. I sat on the bed in the hotel room and cried for about 10 minutes. I cried about 26 years that are going nowhere.

I drove up to the house and noticed that Kurt's car was not there. In fact, I probably knew she wouldn't be there. I went out and walked to the front door. I didn't need a key. When I grabbed the handle, the door opened. This was unusual. Kurt must still be here. Maybe his car is in the garage. I walked in and carefully called his name. There was no answer. He must be here. He never leaves the door unlocked. I walked through the house, and it seemed too empty. I looked back and didn't notice anything had changed. I looked at the fireplace and saw the family photo still hanging there, reminding me of better times. Then I noticed our wedding photo. She was lying face down on the fireplace. I walked over and picked her up. The glass was broken. The shards lay on the fireplace. Among the glass was Kurt's wedding ring. "Oh God, what have I done?"

After I cried, I turned on the phone to call Rachel, my youngest daughter. "Hey, Dad. I tried to call you, but it went to voicemail. I couldn't leave a message. It's full." "Hey, Rachel. Why did you call?" "Julia called me." "Oh, sorry. I forgot to ask her not to call you. I wanted you to hear it from me first." "So, what did he say?" "You are getting a divorce." "This is true?" "Yes, I submitted the documents," I said. "Well, I can't say it surprises me." "What?" "Dad, you and Mom have been fighting for the last couple of years, and about a year and a half ago, you just stopped. You barely spoke. All you talked about were bills that needed to be paid, housework, and if you were going over to your friends for the weekend." It took me a few seconds to realize this. My youngest daughter realized a long time ago that we no longer acted like a married couple. It was no surprise to her that we were getting a divorce. She didn't even ask why or why now. "Wow, I didn't even realize that," I told her. "Dad, we all know that you both love us. I just don't know if you love each other." "If you love, then don't show it. Dad, you have to do what makes you happy. I don't want you to live in a loveless marriage just because you have to or because of us. We are all adults now." "Rachel, you always told it like it is. Thank you. You made this decision so much easier. I love you." "I love you too, Dad. I will always support you. You are my dad." "I was out of breath. I have to go," I said. "I'll call you tomorrow." I hung up and turned off the phone again. Now I really didn't want to talk to anyone. My phone rang, and I looked at it and saw that it was Julia calling. "How will I talk to her? What will I say?" On the third call, I answered. "Hi, Julia. How are you?" "How are you? Is that a more important question?" "Fine. Why?" I asked, hoping Kurt wasn't talking to our kids. "Dad called me," she said. "What did he say?" I asked, still not sure she knew anything. "He said you were getting a divorce." I gasped. "We're not getting a divorce. It's just a misunderstanding." "Well, it sounded more serious when I talked to him. We'll get through this," I told her, trying to convince myself too. "Rachel said he already applied." "She told me?" "Yes, they gave them to me this morning," I said sadly. "I know. Before I left for college, there was a lot of tension, and you two fought a lot," Rachel said. "That after I left, you stopped arguing and barely spoke. Did it really last that long?" "After years of fighting and tiptoeing around each other, it was actually nice not to have to fight. We were just minding our own business, deciding what needed to be done." "I think you and Dad should go to counseling. It can help you rebuild your relationship," she said. "It's a good idea. I will discuss it with him if I can talk to him," I said. "What do you mean? I keep trying to call him, but he doesn't answer. I'm at home now, and he's not here. Do you know where he went?" "Did he tell you when you were talking?" "No, Mom. I thought he was home with you." "No, he's gone, and if I know your father, he's gone somewhere where I won't find him." I wondered where he might have gone. Perhaps to a hotel or to friends. "I need to check if he brought a change of clothes." I went into our room and saw open cabinets and drawers. "Julia, I need to find your father. I'll call you if I find him." "If you hear from him, please tell him to call me, okay, Mom?" "I'll call you tomorrow if I don't hear from him before." "Thank you, Julia. I love you." "I know, Mom. I love you too." I wasn't really hungry, but I hadn't eaten anything all day, so I ordered pizza for delivery. I thought about what Rachel said. We haven't really been a couple for the last three years. Damn menopause. Why couldn't she take hormone replacement therapy? This could eliminate many problems. That's when it all started. Her doctor told her it would help her get through menopause, but she didn't want to take the medication. Even after Rachel was born, I had to use condoms because she didn't want to get pregnant again and also didn't want to be on birth control. I liked the feeling of not using them when we were trying to have kids, so I decided to get a vasectomy instead of using condoms. When the pizza arrived, I was sitting on the bed watching TV and eating the pizza. I can say there is nothing to watch on Saturday nights. My mind was occupied with other things. It was just background noise. I turned on the TV but found nothing to distract me from what I was experiencing. My mind was spinning, and the TV was just background noise. Seeing the empty closet and drawers really made me realize the seriousness of what was happening. It's strange that receiving the divorce papers didn't make me realize this. Having a real physical sign that my husband was gone meant that I couldn't just wiggle my way out of the situation. My marriage may really be over. I couldn't cope with the empty drawers and closet tonight. I slept in one of the children's rooms. "Oh God, I need to call Glenn and Rachel. Try to get them on my side. Maybe if they all talk to Kurt, they can at least get him to talk to me. Maybe he'll even consider marriage counseling." I picked up the phone and called Glenn. He called four times before anyone answered. "I heard Glenn. This is your mom. You need to talk to her." It was Janie, Glenn's steady girlfriend and his future wife. He confided in Kurt and me that he was going to propose to her on New Year's Day. "I don't want to talk to her," I heard in the background. "Glenn, take this phone. You need to talk to her," she said, then to me, "He'll talk to you now." "Mom," he said without emotion. "Oh, Glenn, you have to help me get your father to talk to me." "I don't even want to talk to you. Why should Dad?" he said. "Oh God, this could ruin my relationship with my son as well as my husband," I thought. "Glenn, I don't know what your father told you, but I know we can work this out if he'll just talk to me." "I don't think so, Mom. Anyway, I don't know where he is. And if you can't reach him, I'm sure he turned."

off his phone. Well, if you hear from him, please ask him to call me. Okay, Mom. But I'm not going to beg him. Thank you, Glenn. I love you. He hung up without even saying goodbye.

Next, I called Rachel. "Hello, dear. How are you?" I asked, when she answered, trying to keep the conversation light. "I'm fine, Mom. How are you?" she also tried to keep the conversation light. "I wondered, did you hear from your father?" I asked. "Yes, he called me earlier today. Honestly, Mom, I expected to get this call a year ago, shortly after I left for college." "Why do you say that, Mom? You and Dad barely spoke for the last year. When I was home, I've never seen you touch each other, let alone kiss. I think you both need to find someone you can be happy with." Rachel, my youngest daughter, has always been pragmatic. I kind of feel bad for the guy she ends up with. She'll definitely tell it like it is, and if he doesn't like it, she doesn't care. However, maybe she will find someone who will put her in her place. "Well, if you could ask him to please talk to me, I would be very grateful. I think he will listen to you." "She is his youngest daughter. Of course, he will listen to her." "Okay, Mom. I hope he calls you." "Me too, Rachel. Me too," I said, ending the call. My son was angry at me, and my youngest daughter didn't seem to care whether we got a divorce or not. Wow, I really ruined everything.

I stayed up until midnight and didn't receive a single call from my kids or husband. I decided to go to bed alone. I stayed in Julia's room, which gave me some comfort, as she at least wanted us to go to counseling. I was exhausted. The truth is that I haven't slept much in the last two weeks, and I'm very tired. The adrenaline of the day has dried up. I went to bed and slept soundly until 11:00 a.m. on Sunday. I took a shower and didn't shave. As I sat down to eat my reheated pizza, I decided to call my kids and let them know I was still alive. They were all happy to hear from me and also told me that Sue had called and asked me to call her. I decided today is the day we'll talk, and if hell doesn't freeze over, I'll move forward with the divorce.

I dialed the number I knew so well, and she answered on the first ring. "Oh, Kurt. Thanks for calling." "First, I want to say that I'm sorry. The kids asked me to call you." "What do you want?" I said emotionlessly. "I want to talk. Can we do this?" "We're talking now, so speak up." "No, I mean face to face. Will you come home so we can sit down and talk about this together?" I thought for a second, then said, "Sure. I need to pick up a few things I left behind." This should let her know where I stand on this issue. "Can you come at two?" she asked, ignoring my last comment. "Surely your lover will be gone by then." This should push the knife in a little deeper. "Oh, Kurt, I'm sorry. There's no one else. See you at two." It then I hung up. I wondered if there was anyone there now or before. Maybe I'll do a little reconnaissance and see for myself. I got into the car and drove past the house. There were no cars in the driveway, but he may have parked in the garage. I parked down the street and watched for about half an hour. No one came or went. "Well, it looks like she wasn't lying about that. I should probably shave before I go back," I told myself. I went back to the hotel, shaved, put on a nice business casual suit, and even put on some cologne. Let her see what she's lost.

I parked on the street, setting the tone from the start. "I don't even want to park in my driveway. Here's what it means. Why is he parking on the street when the driveway is clear? He could even park in the garage," I thought. When he approached the entrance, I noticed that he was dressed quite decently for a day off. Usually, on such days, he wore a T-shirt and jeans. "I need to meet him at the door and thank him for coming." The door opens, and Sue stands there with a worried, questioning smile on her face. She looks quite beautiful, smartly dressed. "Is this for me, or does she have a date today?" I thought. "When I opened the door, I smiled at Kurt, but I knew it probably looked forced. I was happy to see him, but worried about what would happen. Why are you parking on the street? Oh, and thanks for coming," I said nervously. "You're welcome. And I wasn't sure if someone wasn't parked in the garage and wouldn't need to pull out," I said and saw an angry look cross her face. "Great, my shot hit the target. This will not be a pleasant meeting." Kurt made me angry with that comment, but I wasn't going to respond. I wanted this meeting to be pleasant so that we could discuss our future together. If I have to put up with a little childish behavior from my husband, then so be it. "Come in. I prepared dinner, and everything is ready. Sit down at the table." "I came to talk, not to eat. We can't do both." "We can have a nice lunch while we discuss our problems." "No, I'm not hungry. I have things to do as soon as we finish here," I said. "Okay." I lied. I didn't have anything to do, but she didn't need to know that. "Is it because he already has a date?" I thought. "It's only been a day, and he's already dating someone after he leaves here." "Oh," I said. "Well, could you call and cancel your date, whoever it is with?" I immediately regretted saying this. "I don't have a date. I don't date when I'm married, unlike some people I know," I told her. This made me angry. "Oh, I thought I just ruined this meeting. How could I tell him that? Sorry, Kurt. My emotions are getting the best of me." "Did they get the best of you on Friday night and Saturday too?" I asked her. "Oh God, I'm so sorry, Kurt. Please forgive me." "I don't think that will ever happen, Sue," as I said this, I saw her shoulders sag. "She may think she's defeated now, but I'm just getting started. Well, you asked me to come here to talk. Let's talk." I walked into the living room and sat down in a chair, and she sat down opposite me on the sofa. "Okay, Kurt, I'm really sorry," she said. "Are you sorry for what you did, or for getting caught?" I sat there and thought. "What? Of this? To be honest, I'm sorry I got caught. If I hadn't been caught, I would still be there until tonight. But I'm really sorry that I hurt him now that he knows." "I'm sorry I hurt you," I decided to say. "That doesn't answer my question, Sue." I realized that she was wrestling with a real question in her mind. "Kurt, I don't know," I said quietly. "Sue, you need to answer all my questions honestly. If you lie to me, we will never be in a relationship again." "I will, Kurt. Ask me anything." "Did you feel guilty Friday night when you drove to Sioux Falls?" "Yes," I said honestly. "Where did you meet him? How did it come to this?" "He is a salesman who comes to our company once a week. He was always very nice to me." "So how do you go from a few minutes once a week to going with him on the weekend and having sex?" When Kurt said the word "sex," I winced. "It really was just sex. I liked David, but it wouldn't go anywhere in the long run. After all, I'm married, at least for now," I thought. "He invited me to lunch, and I agreed. There was nothing wrong with that." "Tell me, what's wrong with this? It would be okay if it was just one lunch, but we started having lunch together every week when he came over on business." "How long did it last?" "This went on for several months." "You didn't think there was a problem with that?" "He was so sweet and complimented me a lot. He made me feel young again." "So all it takes to get you into bed is just compliments and being nice? I needed to say this because I couldn't get her into bed for more than 3 years." "No, Kurt. We just got comfortable with each other, and then he asked me to go to the bed and breakfast with him for the weekend." "So he was the first? He shouldn't be the first because I'm sure other men have been nice and complimented you too." "When was the first time?" "I've never done this before, Kurt. You have to trust me." "No, I shouldn't trust you," I said loudly. "When was the first time and with whom?" "Friday night with David." "She did it. She lied. You don't spend hours in a hotel room just talking." I stood up without saying a word and walked towards the front door. "Where is he going?" I thought. When he stood up and began to leave, "He heads towards the door. Kurt, don't go. We're not done talking yet." I got up and followed him. He turned and looked at me with a mixture of sadness and hatred on his face. "Sue, you lied to me. I told you that if we have any relationship, you must answer my questions honestly. You lied, Sue. You lied." "Oh God, I really lied," I thought. "How did he find out about our time together? A couple of weeks ago? God, I'm stupid. Of course, he knew. How else would he file for divorce if he didn't know?" I fell back onto the sofa, holding my head, crying. "Sorry, Kurt. I really lied. We were together once before, about 2 weeks ago. I took the day off, and we went to the hotel." "How did he know about this time? He worked late that night, and I even cooked his favorite dish, which went cold while waiting for him to arrive." "Oh God, he really knew. He came home late on purpose, and I yelled at him for not calling me." "So where do we go from here, Kurt?" I asked. "You need to get yourself a lawyer, and we'll get a divorce." "Are you going to throw away a good marriage over this?" "Yes. 23 years of a good marriage down the drain." "It's been 26 years, Kurt." He couldn't even remember how many years we had been married. "Yes, but only 23 years were good. The last 3 years were a waste of my time." Now I was angry. He thought the last 3 years were a waste. How could he think that? "I flared up. Damn you, Kurt. Not, not for the last 3 years." "What does he say?" I thought. Then I said, "Huh? Not the last 3 years? What do you mean?" "I mean, we haven't had sex in over 3 years. So that's what it's all about. Sex? Yes, you can give it to someone else, but you have been denying it to your husband for more than 3 years. How many times have we discussed this? Talked about this? Argued about this?" I thought about this. "We haven't really had sex or any kind of intimacy in over 3 years. I had no desire or need for this when menopause began. So you're throwing away our marriage?" "Rachel noticed it much earlier than I did. She told me yesterday that I should do what makes me happy and that I can't live in a loveless marriage just because that's the way it's supposed to be." "So you're throwing away our marriage? What do you think we should do?" "Julia thinks we should go to counseling. I think it's a great idea." "Where does this lead?" "Sue, may we live happily until the end of our days?" "Okay. I remember these vows. I also remember, 'leave everyone else.' Have you forgotten about that, or is it not important? As far as I'm concerned, once you've broken your vows, everything else doesn't matter." "But I still love you, Kurt." "You have a strange way of showing it," I told her. "Goodbye, Sue. Get yourself a lawyer." With these words, I walked out the door.

He walked out the door. All my plans for a nice dinner and conversation went down the drain. I hoped I could explain myself, make him see a side of me, how I needed to feel attractive and wanted by someone 10 years younger than me. I am no longer a young woman. I can no longer have children. I am slowly plotting towards the end of the road. I sat and cried. I don't know how much time passed, probably at least an hour, when my phone rang. It brought me out of my fog. I looked at the phone. It was Julia. "Mom, are you okay? Have you talked to Dad?" "He asked me to call you." "Did he call?" "Yes, Julia. He called. I asked him to come. He came. We quarreled, and he left." "Oh, Mom, I'm so sorry. Did he at least tell you why he filed for divorce?" "I already knew why, Julia. He just said it clearly and frankly." "So why?" "I needed to accept the facts sooner or later. Everyone will find out. There is no point in hiding it. I cheated on him," I said in a quiet voice. "What? I was stupid, and he found out. He even sent me documents when I was with that guy. I'm so ashamed. I never wanted this to happen. Why was I an idiot? Soon I will be an almost 50-year-old divorced idiot." I started crying again. "I can't believe I have any tears left." "Oh, Mom, how could you? I knew you and Dad had problems, but how could you?" "I'm sorry, Julia. I know we fought a lot, but I still love him. Now he's gone." "Maybe he just needs time. Maybe you can work things out with counseling." "I'd like to think so, but I don't really hope so. Your dad is a proud, stubborn man. He will never forgive me." "So because of his male ego and pride, he is ready to throw away your marriage?" "I asked him that too, but to be honest, it hasn't been a very good marriage for the last few years, and it's all my fault." I started crying harder and dropped the phone. "Mother, mother, mother!" Julia shouted. "I picked up the phone. Sorry, honey. I dropped the phone." "Mom, I'll come home. Maybe I can talk to Dad and we can discuss everything." "Honey, I think this is a waste of time." "I don't care. I'll come home. See you in a few hours." My daughter is coming home from college to try to convince her dad to go back to his cheating wife. What have I done? My selfish desire to be desired by another man has ruined my life, and my family is now paying the price. I just finished talking to Julia, and she's driving home from college to try to save our marriage. This can no longer be saved. 3 years of putting up with her had tainted my feelings about our marriage, and her betrayal after 3 years of refusals was the last straw that destroyed our marriage.

I don't usually drink, but I decided to go to the nearest bar. I turned off the phone and left the hotel room. Let them try to find me. Julia arrived and tried to call Kurt, but the call went straight to voicemail. He turned off the phone. It was already late, and I decided that I wanted to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll call work and say I'm sick. I'll try to find Kurt tomorrow. I spent a couple of hours sipping beer. I wasn't drunk, but I didn't feel pain either. I set the alarm on my phone for 6:00 a.m., then listened to my messages. There were a couple from my wife, standard apologetic whining. Then there were two messages from Julia, asking if we could meet tomorrow after work. I wasn't going to go to work. I had things to do. I needed to meet with a lawyer and resolve several issues with the bank. Now I was going to go to bed and hope I didn't have a hangover in the morning.

I hardly slept. Still, I fell asleep. I was exhausted from the events of the weekend. I woke up to the smell of bacon. Kurt always made breakfast on the weekends. Was it a dream, or more like a nightmare? Was it Saturday morning, and I was still happily married? Then Julia screamed from downstairs, and I knew the nightmare was real. I got up and called work, saying I was sick. I couldn't go to work today. I needed to plan with Julia how to get Kurt back. I also had to convince my other children to be on my side, and Janie too. Kurt loved her and thought she would be good for Glenn. Breakfast was good. I ate almost nothing yesterday. The food I made for Kurt was left in the refrigerator as leftovers. I think Julia and I will split them. I called Rachel and Glenn and left messages asking them to call me back. Rachel was probably in class, and Glenn was at work. I called Janie. She worked in retail, so she had Mondays off. "Hey, Janie. This is Glenn's mom. Do you have time to talk?" "Of course, Mom. She's been calling me that for a year now." I was pleased to know that she trusted me and felt comfortable enough to treat me that way. "How is Glenn?" "He's angry. He doesn't even want to talk about it." "Janie, could you ask him to call me? I need to talk to him about his father." "What happened, Mom? I did something to upset his father, and now he wants a divorce." "Oh, no. I cannot believe this. You have been married for over 25 years. I can't believe you can't work this out." "No matter what, it was love conquers all." "I think so too, if Kurt had given us a chance. So I'm calling. Could you call Kurt and just talk to him? Tell him how sorry you would be if we got divorced." "Of course, Mom. Anything for you. One day I want to give you grandchildren, and I would like you two to be together." "Thanks, Janie. I'd like that too."

I woke up and called work, saying that I would not be coming. Then I took a shower and got dressed. I felt pretty good. My head hurt a little, but I could handle it. The first order of business was to have breakfast and then call the lawyer to make an appointment. When I got through, he said he had time later in the morning. I could have gotten to the bank before then. After that, you will need to look for an apartment. I went to the bank and opened a separate account, paid off the credit card, and split our funds, putting half into my account. I left the bank, turning on my phone to find a list of apartment complexes. As soon as I turned it on, I received a notification about voicemails and messages. Julia called and texted me. She wanted to meet. I was a little angry that Sue made her drop out of college to come home and help her deal with this. I called her. "Hi, Jules. You shouldn't have dropped out. I came home to try to save your marriage. This is between your mother and me." "You don't need to get involved, Dad." "This is our family. I'm trying to save it." I thought about her words and replied, "We will still be a family, even if your mother and I are no longer together. It won't change that." "Dad, can we sit down and talk? I want to hear your side. I've already heard my mother's." "Okay, let's have lunch. How about Applebee's at 12:30? I should have finished my meeting with the lawyer by now." "Of course, Dad. I'll see you there. Only you, Jules, not your mom." "Thinking that Sue will come if I don't tell her not to." "Okay, Dad," she said, somewhat disappointed. After meeting with the lawyer, I was in high spirits. He said that with the photo Tom took when he handed Sue the documents, he believed that getting a divorce on the grounds of infidelity would not be difficult. "I didn't see her and didn't want to see her. If it helps me get a $7,030 divorce, I don't care what's in the photo," I asked the lawyer a few procedural questions, and he said, "Now it's up to Sue and her lawyer how much they challenge this, then the judge will decide." At 12:30, I met Julia for lunch. We sat down and ordered food, then she asked, "Dad, do you love her?" I sat and thought for a minute. I thought about it all weekend. "I don't think I do. I still have feelings, but I've been thinking about it for a long time, and I keep coming to the conclusion, no. So much happened between us that divided us. Of course, I still care about her as the woman I shared years and children with, but I think the love is gone." I saw her face change from an expression of hope to spare. "Jules, I still love you and your brother and sister. That will never change. I just don't see how we can overcome this." She sat in silence. "Jules, you are all adults and have left to study. Soon you will get married and start your family. We'll still be your parents. We'll just live under different roofs." "I thought you'd last forever, Jules. You've been in several relationships. What do you think makes a good relationship and a successful marriage?" She took a deep breath, thought for a minute, and said, "Well, first of all, love." "I just told you that I don't think I love her anymore." "What else?" "Respect. Do you think I have much respect for your mom now, and do you think she has any respect for me, knowing what she did?" "I don't know." "What else?" I asked. "Commitment," she said. "What do you mean by that?" I asked. "Staying together when times get tough." "Tough times have been going on for over 3 years, Julia. You know that. How much longer do I have to endure?" "I don't know." "Okay, what else?" "Patience and forgiveness." "I've been patient with her, but I don't think I can forgive her for what she did." "It was just one time, Dad." "No, it wasn't just one time. Maybe it was the same guy, and I'm not sure about it, but it was at least one time, plus a whole weekend together." "She said it was a one-time thing. You need to talk to your mom about this. What I say won't change your mind." "What else do you think is important for a good marriage?" "Honesty." "Do you think your mom was honest with me?" "No." "So I guess another aspect is trust." "I'm sure you won't trust her anymore." "No, I don't think I can." "What else?" I asked. "Good communication." "Jules, before you left for college, what do you remember about our interaction? You were either arguing or barely talking." "Is there anything else that makes a good marriage?" "Unselfishness. The willingness to do for your partner what you yourself do not want to do." "That's a good point. You missed one aspect. What do you think?" "Well, of course, physical intimacy." "This goes without saying. I wish you would ask your mom about this. See what she says." Julia looked at me with a puzzled expression. At that moment, the waitress came with our food. "Jules, let's enjoy our food and change the subject. Let's have a great father-daughter lunch." "Okay," she said. I noticed that she was trying to comprehend everything we had just discussed. By the end of lunch, we were talking about school, boys, politics, almost everything, but the elephant was still in the room. "Jules, tell your mom to get a lawyer. This is the only way to solve anything." "I'll tell you, Dad," she said resignedly.

That afternoon, I went to Central Park. I sat on a bench, watching people and enjoying the autumn day. As I sat there, I thought about our conversation with Julia. She pinpointed many of the reasons why I was divorcing Sue. I just hoped this would all end quickly, but I had my doubts.

Tuesday met me at work. I have to admit that my mind wasn't on work. Of course, I thought about Sue, but also about that scoundrel who was wooing a married woman. He must pay somehow. Karma is an evil thing, but I wanted to help it. I needed to know more about David Perkins. All I knew was that he was a divorced 38-year-old man with two children who worked for Heartland Paper. So I called a private investigator. I gave him all the information I had on him, paid the deposit with a debit card, and told him to contact me when he had some information on him. I knew it was stupid to waste good money on bad things, but I needed information, and if Sue continued seeing him, it would add fuel to the fire at the funeral of my marriage.

Around 3:00 in the afternoon, my friend and colleague Eric Van Dorne looked into my office and said, "Are you free for lunch tomorrow?" "If you pay, I'm free all week," I said. "No, I'm not crying. We go Dutch because you know what they say: 'Yes, yes, if you're not Dutch, you're not that good.'" He said this so often that I swear I heard it even in my sleep. "I'll come by tomorrow around noon, okay?" he asked. "Of course," I replied. Eric is our purchasing manager at the plant. A big name for a person who buys supplies. He's really good at it. If I didn't know better, I would think he was a woman because he loves shopping, especially with other people's money. Plus, he's Dutch, so he always finds the best deals. I wouldn't say he's stingy, but only because I don't talk bad about my friends.

That evening, I sat in my hotel room, still undecided which apartment to rent. I didn't see it as much of a rush. I wanted a good one because I might have to live there for a while. My phone rang. It was a number I didn't recognize, but I answered anyway. "Hello, Father." It was Janie. Not my real daughter, but after Glenn and her had been dating for about a year, I insisted that she call me Daddy. "Hey, Janie. How can I help you?" "You can forgive your wife," she said without apology. "It's not going to happen anytime soon, Janie," I said sharply. "Why not? Do you love her? Is she your wife? Doesn't she deserve forgiveness?" "Janie, this is not a conversation we need to have," I said sternly. "I think love can overcome anything, so I think you can get through this." "Janie, I don't mean to be rude, but the problems between me and Sue are our problems. We have to solve them. Don't interfere." "Ah," she hesitated. "Goodbye, Janie." I hung up. I was furious. Sue tried to make others feel guilty for not taking her back. She should feel guilty, not me. Now I was excited and couldn't sleep. I decided to go to the gym and run on the treadmill. Running allows me to release pent-up energy while my mind is busy with thoughts. I reflected on my life. All the good times. I will always remember these moments with or without marriage. What will happen in the future? If I can forgive her? All I could imagine was a constant reminder of what she had done, both in the last 3 years and the betrayal. I will always hold a grudge against her. What kind of marriage will it be? Will I always seek revenge for her actions? If somehow I decide to stay, what kind of marriage will it be? A repeat of the last 3 years? No thanks. I looked at the treadmill. I ran four miles and didn't even notice. Maybe I should get angry more often before running. It will help me run the marathon. I got off the path and dried myself off, heading back to the room. I'll sleep well tonight. I am exhausted now.

Today I returned to work. I was distracted, but I still did my job. I was glad to be home, even though the house seemed so empty. Julia left back for college early in the morning. I did laundry to take my mind off my problems. As I was carrying a basket of clean laundry into our bedroom, my phone rang. I put the laundry on the bed and took out my phone. It was Janie. "Mom, I think Kurt is angry with me. I called him and said that he should forgive you." He interrupted me abruptly. "He is a stubborn person." "All men are like that, Janie," I explained. "Well, I think he's being stupid. You can overcome this." "I hope so," I said. "Sorry, Mom. Glenn just got here. I'll talk to you later." I regretted getting her involved. I didn't think Kurt would be rude to her. Guess I was wrong. I probably don't know Kurt as well as I thought I did.

At lunch with Eric on Wednesday, as soon as we sat down, he said, "What's going on with you, Kurt? You haven't been like yourself for at least the last two weeks, and on Monday, you called and said you weren't coming to work. That's not like you. You never miss work except for vacation." "I didn't think it was so obvious," I said. "For most people, it's not, but for me, it's noticeable." I was silent for a minute, then said, "I'm filing for divorce." "What? Seriously? You've been married forever." "No, only 26 years old, and we won't make it to 27. What's happened?" "This has been brewing for a while, but the last straw was when she cheated." The restaurant seemed to go silent when I said this. Eric then said, "Damn, I'm sorry, Kurt." "Yeah, I'm sorry too. Do you think you can make things work?" "No way. I'm angry at her for what she did to me these last 3 years. I'll never forgive that." "3 years? She's been cheating on you for 3 years?" "No, but 3 years ago, she stopped all intimacy. No romance, no flirting, not even begging changed anything. She told me to deal with it. Well, I'm dealing with it now." "Wow, what a... yeah, life is a... but I'm going to change that," I said. "So who is this guy?" "His name is David Perkins. He's a slick salesman from Heartland Paper out of Sioux Falls. He supplies paper for Midstates, so he visits every week. She's been meeting him for lunch for at least 3 months." "What a creep. I'm sure he knew she was married," he said. "Yeah." "Can we change the subject? I want to have a proper lunch, and this is getting annoying." Certainly, the rest of lunch went well, and we didn't talk about my problems.

Another day at work. Things just happened by inertia. The boss called me into his office. "Sue, what's going on? You don't look like yourself." "Problems at home." "I don't want to go into details," I said. "Well, don't let them affect your work. If you need to take time off to sort it out, tell me." "No, everything will be fine." "Sorry, I'll focus on work," I said. "Okay, thanks. I need a Sue I can rely on." "You will have it," I said. The rest of the day, I focused on work. It really helped me forget about my problems for a while. After work, I came home again to an empty house.

On Thursday at work, I kept track of the time. David usually arrived around 11:30 on Thursdays. "What will I tell him? What will he tell me?" When he entered, I flinched. He looked at me without emotion. He came to see my boss, which was fine. He was discussing the weekly order and future needs. When he walked out and closed the door, he looked at me and said, "I can't believe you just left like that." "Quiet, not so loud. Why don't you want someone to find out? Have you made peace with your husband?" "Let's not talk about it here. I'll meet you for lunch, and we'll talk about it," I said quietly. I didn't want the boss or anyone else to suspect anything. "I'll meet him for lunch and tell him it was all a mistake, that we shouldn't have done it." "Okay, I'll see you at our usual place." "I guess you'll drive yourself." "Yes, I'll be there at noon." I left and drove to Minerva. He was already sitting in a booth when I approached. He smiled and said, "Have a seat." I sat down and said, "David, I'm sorry about last weekend. It was a mistake. I shouldn't have agreed." "So you didn't like it? You didn't enjoy it?" "Yes, it was nice," I said, remembering the attention and care he gave me. "So what do you regret?" "It was a mistake. I'm a married woman. This could cost me my marriage." "You said it yourself, you're more like roommates. It's not like you're missing out on much." "Well, I have to try to fix it." "So I'm left in the middle of a weekend I paid over $1,400 for, and you're sorry?" I looked at him. I hadn't seen this side of him before. "Did he want me to return the money for the room?" "Don't look at me like that," he said. "You knew exactly why we went there. I was expecting a whole weekend of sex with you." "And I thought you wanted to spend time with me, not just have sex," I said, getting up and starting to leave. "Stupid," he shouted. "I hope he actually divorces you." I turned and looked at him with hatred, then walked out. "Men, all they want is sex," I said as I approached the Yukon. I went back to work, pulled myself together, and finished the day, trying to focus on work.

I got a call from a private investigator. He said that my wife met this for lunch, but it didn't last long. They had a fight, and she left. "It won't change anything in the long run, but it made me feel better. Maybe she really regrets her decision."

That evening, I finally received a call from Rachel. "Hey, Mom. Did you call?" "Yes. Why did it take you so long to call back?" "Julia called me and told me why Dad was divorcing you. How could you?" "I know you were unhappy, but why didn't you just ask for a divorce?" "I wasn't unhappy. I don't want a divorce. It's a weird way to try to save a marriage. I don't blame Dad. I hope it was worth it." "Oh God, Rachel, you have to help me fix this. I know he'll listen to you." "No, Mom, you're on your own." I was left alone, sitting in an empty house, trying to figure out how to correct my mistake. Every day the situation seemed more and more hopeless.

My day off was spent looking for an apartment. On Sunday afternoon, I found one that suited me. It was a two-room apartment in case the children wanted to stay. My weekend was spent looking around the house, remembering all the good times we had, all the Christmases, Easters, birthdays, and Thanksgivings. Thanksgiving was just a couple of weeks away. Will we be together for this? Will there be anything to be grateful for? I decided that I would gather all the children. I called everyone. Rachel and Julia agreed when I said I would invite Dad and asked them to ask him to come too, for the sake of the family. Glenn was harder to convince, but with Janie in the background, he finally said yes. Now I had to do everything possible to make sure this dinner brought back all the good memories.

On Tuesday, I received an invitation by mail. It was from Sue. She invited me to Thanksgiving dinner at our house. I threw away the invitation. The only thing I was grateful for this year was that I finally made the decision to stop this farce. Over the next two weeks, I moved into my apartment, bought furniture on Craigslist, and made myself a cozy new home. I also received a reluctant call from Rachel, who said her mom had asked her to invite me to Thanksgiving. She understood when I refused. Glenn understood too when I gave him the same answer. However, Julia begged me to reconsider my decision, and although it was difficult to refuse her, I did it. Luckily, Janie didn't call. She probably got the hint last time.

The Monday before Thanksgiving, I was walking out to my car after work when I saw Sue. Yukon parked nearby. She came out when I approached. She was well-dressed and looked attractive. "Kurt," I said with the kindest smile and softest voice. "What do you need, Sue?" I asked sharply. "I haven't received a response to my invitation to Thanksgiving dinner. I would really appreciate it if you could come. The kids would enjoy it too." I hoped that he would not be able to refuse a personal request, especially if I mentioned children. "I threw it away the same day I got it," I told her, hoping she'd get the hint. "Well, I hope you've thought about it and reconsidered for the sake of the family." I tried to keep his attention on the children. "I already told the kids no. When you ask them to call me, they know I won't come. Why don't you invite your lover instead? I'm sure he won't go to his ex-wife since she's married again. Oh, maybe he's going to one of his other... you know that he has three other women in mind, and two of them are also married. He apparently likes to seduce married women." "What is he telling me? David has three other women besides me, and two of them are married? He's not my lover. I haven't spoken to him much since that weekend." I could tell from the look on her face that she didn't know about the other women. The money spent on a private detective was worth that look on her face. "Yeah, I heard you had a fight when you went to lunch with him next week. I can see by your face that he didn't tell you about his other women." "Oh, Kurt, can't we just get through this? I'll never do anything like that again." "Go through this to go back to a meaningless, celibate marriage? No thank you. If you want sex, I can give it to you. You can make love to me as often as you want." "I had to overcome his objections." "Sue, I can't make love to you because I don't love you anymore. I wouldn't touch you because I'm afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. I'm sure you weren't worried about pregnancy anymore, so you didn't force him to use a condom. If you haven't already, you should get tested for your own good." "Oh, damn. I thought I didn't force him to use a condom, and Kurt is right because I knew I couldn't get pregnant. I really need to get checked." I made a mental note to see a doctor. "I'm sure Kurt is telling the truth. He probably does have other women besides me. I'm such a fool." "You haven't thought about that, have you, Sue?" I told her. "It's over. If you haven't already, find a lawyer and sign the papers." "I'll get a lawyer and fight, Kurt. I know we can go back to the way things were. You'll see." "Well, at least we've made progress. She's going to get a lawyer. It was long overdue." I got in the car and drove away while she stood there begging me to talk to her. "He left, and we didn't allow anything. Damn, I wish we could discuss this." I got into the Yukon and drove home, crying the whole way.

On Tuesday at work, I noticed that my boss was on edge. He said he had a meeting with the President and Vice President, which didn't sound good. After the meeting, he came up to me and said that in the afternoon, there would be a mandatory meeting for all employees of the plant. At 2:30, we filled the dining room. The president was there and started the meeting by telling everyone that we would have Friday off as well as Thanksgiving. Many faces beamed with joy for the 4-day weekend. Then he told us the bad news. "Actually," he said, "you will have every Friday off for the foreseeable future. We have lost a major client and will be limiting everyone to 32 hours a week, Monday through Thursday. You will all keep your benefits, but we will have to tighten our belts until we find new clients to make up for the deficit." The mood instantly turned from joyful to gloomy. When I returned to my desk, the boss talked to me, asked if I knew anything about 3M. "No, I don't know anything." "Is this our lost client?" "Yes, and he makes up the majority of our sales. We will either bring him back or find new clients, otherwise, we will have to reduce staff. At the moment, all employees except salaried employees are limited to 32 hours." I couldn't believe it. Kurt did it out of revenge. Dozens of families will be affected by this, and this is a month before Christmas. I can't believe he can do this. As the workday drew to a close, I heard two office women say, "It's all Sue's fault. She just needed to get some money on the side, and now we're paying for it." "What?" I thought. "How did they know about this? Will everyone blame me?" As I walked through the office, I noticed that people were looking at me with cold eyes. At the end of the day, I quickly went to my Yukon, but that didn't stop me from hearing some of my co-workers call me a... and a... "I need to talk to Kurt. We need to get the 3M contract back." I drove to Kurt's work and parked next to his car again, waiting for him to come out.

I got home from work and saw Sue's Yukon parked next to my car again. I'm sure she'll try to get me to come to Thanksgiving dinner again. It will not happen. I don't want to be near her. I walked to my car, and Sue got out of the Yukon. I immediately realized that she was angry. "Now what?" I thought. "You vindictive bastard. This took me by surprise. What? Don't look at me with those innocent eyes. You're being an... and ruining people's Christmas just because you're mad at me." "What are you talking about? I'm not ruining anyone's Christmas. The kids can see us both separately." "I'm not talking about our children. I'm talking about the families of the people I work with. How could you?" "I do not know what you're talking about." We shouted at each other, and people coming out of work started looking at us. "So you didn't force your company to back out of contracts with my company just to spite me? They're cutting everyone's hours to 32 a week. That's really going to ruin holiday gifts for a lot of people, not to mention just paying the bills." I was surprised by what she said. "I did not do anything. I have no control over who we buy from." Then it dawned on me. Eric must have done it. "Wow, and he didn't even tell me anything." "I didn't do it, but maybe your actions have unintended consequences. Maybe you should have thought a little more about the impact your actions would have on those around you." I got into the car and drove away. She was still seething with anger, but I had a small smile on my face. I felt a little guilty for her colleagues, but perhaps she needed that to see the error of her ways.

He left again. I was getting more and more angry with him. Maybe it really was better for us to get a divorce. How was I going to fix this? People were already talking about me at work. I'm sure tomorrow will be even worse. I drove home and entered an empty house. I began to get used to its emptiness. However, I would like the children to be here so that there is life in the house. I have to make Thanksgiving a good day despite their father being away. I started baking pies. It distracted me from my problems, at least for a while. I really loved cooking, especially for my family. I couldn't wait to see everyone at home enjoying a big home-cooked meal. Kurt was going to miss it, or at least that's what I hoped.

Now I went to the apartment. It seemed empty, still very sparsely furnished. I kept thinking about what Sue said. I knew Eric did it. I'll ask him tomorrow, but I had no doubts. As I sat there eating my microwave dinner, I thought about what I would do for Thanksgiving dinner. I'll probably join other single people at Pizza Ranch. It won't be homemade food, but it's still good food.

On Wednesday at work, the first thing I did was find Eric. "Hey, Eric. My wife came to see me when I was leaving work yesterday." "Yeah, I heard you had an argument in the parking lot. What was it about?" "I think you know. Did you take our business away from Midstates Printing?" "Yes, I received a quote from Quality Quick Print, and they will save us about 2% on printing costs. I have also changed paper and board supplier to Cole's Paper in Fargo. This will save us 3%. I'm sure David Perkins will feel this, as we don't use Heartland anymore." "Wow, I didn't know you were so tough. Remind me not to cross your path." "When someone hurts my friends, I do everything I can to return the blow. What about all the people in Midstates? My wife said their hours were cut." "Well, I think Quality is looking for experienced people. What else have you done?"

I asked, that's all. I think that's enough. Wow, I didn't know I had a friend who had that kind of power. They say the pen is mightier than the sword. His pen just caused havoc to two people who hurt me. I almost felt guilty for sending letters with photos to the husbands of the other two married women. David slept with. Almost let everything take its course.

I was called into the boss's office just a few minutes after I arrived at work. Oh damn, I thought. Sue, I've been told that you may know the reason why we lost the 3M contract. I looked at my hands, hands that just a month ago touched my lover. Yes, I knew it was because of me. I raised my head. My husband denies knowing anything about it, but I'm sure it's in retaliation for what I did. What have you done, he asked, but I knew he had already heard, judging by the expression on his face. I cheated on him with David Perkins. Why did you do this, he asked. I'm getting older, and the attention of a young man who was 10 years younger than me made me feel wanted. Well, that wish could have cost us all. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I ruined my life, and now others are paying for my mistake. I've been apologizing more lately than I have in my entire life. You know the rumors have already spread around the office. It won't be easy for you. I know. I've heard some before, I told him. You've been working for me for almost 15 years, so I know how you work. I don't approve of what you did, but I won't punish you for it either. However, I can't stop others from expressing their feelings for you. I won't tolerate offensive language, but I'll leave it at that. Thanks, I'll do my best to try and fix it, I promised him. This will be a significant step towards your forgiveness, he said. Thank you. Well, at least I kept my job for now.

When I returned to my desk, I felt judgmental eyes on me. I did my job better than I have in years. I needed to show my boss that I was worth keeping around.

I received a call from David. I can't believe you did that, I heard when I answered the call. Did what? I asked. You made your husband take revenge on me. What are you talking about? He works for 3M, right? Yes, and what does that have to do with it? His company just dropped us as a supplier. It's a big blow to my sales and commission. They've also stopped working with us as a print shop, so you're not the only one suffering. Our hours have been cut to 32 a week. I heard you'll probably give up on us too. I regret ever meeting you. It's your fault. You're a woman hunter, preying on married women. In fact, I heard that I'm not your only prey. You have at least three other women, two of whom are married. Who told you this? My husband. So he was the one who sent the letters to their husbands. He's taking revenge on me because his woman can't stay faithful. All of you women are like that. I regret that I ever met you. If I don't lose my job, they'll probably give me the worst part. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. Nothing to thank for. 26 years of marriage down the drain.

I called all the kids and invited them to come over, making them promise not to tell their mom my new address. Let's see if they come.

I woke up early, partly because I hadn't slept well and partly because I had to put the turkey in the oven and start preparing the rest of the meal. I doubt I'll see Kurt, but I still hope he might feel guilty for not coming when all the kids are here. Around noon, the children started arriving. The food is almost ready, is Dad coming, Julia asked. I don't think so, honey, but we can hope, I said. I'll call him and invite him again, she said. I knew it was probably a futile gesture. After 26 years with him, I knew how stubborn he was. Judging by the tone of the conversation, he again refused to come. Well, let's sit down and enjoy lunch without him, I said. We sat down and were halfway through finishing when Julia said, I can't believe he's so stubborn. He should have at least come to Thanksgiving dinner. Then we could all talk it out and maybe reach forgiveness. Dad is offended his wife betrayed him, Glenn said, looking at me. I saw that he was angry with me. It wasn't a war for the last 3 years. They fought all the time, and then they just stopped talking, Rachel said. Then, looking at me, she added, I'm sorry, Mom. You know it's true. What happened, Mom, Glenn asked. Why did you start quarreling? Did you cheat then too? God, it hurts. My kids have seen the destruction of our marriage and think I cheated three years ago. No, we fought about something else. I was faithful, well, at least until a month ago. Why did you do that, Mom, Julia asked. Well, like you said, your dad and I haven't been getting along lately. We were more like neighbors. One man started flirting with me and asked me to dinner. I thought, what's wrong with that? So I went with him. We did this every week for several months. Well, one thing led to another, and we slept together, I said, trying to avoid eye contact with them. Now, do you want him to forgive you and everything continue as before, as if nothing happened, Glenn asked. I know it's not that easy, but I really want him to forgive me. I've apologized over and over again. He should forgive you, Janie said. What, Glenn exclaimed, looking at her as if she had gone crazy. If he loves her, he should just forgive her, she said. How can you say that? Loyalty is the cornerstone of a good marriage, Glenn said. Love is the cornerstone. You can't build a relationship on loyalty alone, she said. You're right, love is the cornerstone, and if you love someone, there's no way you'll change, Glenn replied. But love conquers all. If he loves her, he will forgive her, she repeated. So you think that if you cheat on me, I should just forgive you if you love me? Then yes. Are you going to cheat on me, Glenn asked accusingly. I don't think so. I don't have such plans, but no one can predict the future, she replied. So you can't say you'll never cheat on me? I can say I'm not going to, but if everything people said was true, we wouldn't have divorces. Everyone would stick to their marriage vows: for better or worse, for sickness or in health, until death will not separate us. What about giving up all others, that too, she replied. You must be willing to love and forgive those you love. I saw it was going too far, so I said, Let's not talk about it now. Let's just be grateful that we're all healthy and can spend time together. I saw the look on Glenn's face. It was as if he was looking at Janie in a new light. As they say, the flower has faded. I'm sure they'll work it out, I told myself. Hopefully, the kids came to see me after spending time with Sue. I was glad to see them. There was tension in the air, but I hoped that it would pass with time. I didn't talk about their mom at all. We just talked about school and Glenn's new job. My children are now adults with their own lives, no longer my babies. How quickly time flies. As they left, Glenn hugged me and quietly said, Dad, I need to talk to you. I'll call you tomorrow. I smiled and pretended he didn't say anything. I wonder what he meant. I spent the rest of the day watching football and reminiscing about Thanksgivings past.

On Friday, I received a call. Dad, hey son, what's wrong? Dad, I think I need to break up with Janie. What, I said. Why? You've always been crazy about her since you first met her. Dad, yesterday, Mom had a conversation about the upcoming divorce. I was sorry to hear this. I hoped that Sue and my problems would not cause problems for our children. Just because your mother and I couldn't be together forever doesn't mean you have to give up hope on your own relationship. Dad, we were talking, and Janie kept saying that you should just forgive Mom. When I asked her about what Mom did, it didn't seem to matter. She had this attitude that if this happened to her, I should just forgive her too. When I asked her if she was going to cheat on me, she said, I don't think so, but I can't predict the future. I was shocked by this attitude. I know Glenn loves Janie, and I believe Janie loves him. What was she being realistic, or did she like the idea of love conquers all so much that she pretty much let her do whatever she wanted and then expect forgiveness? If you love me, son, I think you too need to work this out. Go to marriage counseling or something, but I think you both need to be on the same page about this. You both need to go into marriage with a clear understanding that there are things that no matter what, you will never do. I don't even want to talk about marriage with her until I get that assurance. I understand, I said. Consider premarital counseling. Thanks, Dad. I'll think about it. I hung up the phone, thinking about what my son was going through, the questions and doubts. This was something he would have to deal with on his own. I was worried about Jan's attitude. Will she cheat on Glenn? Will she be expected to forgive her? No matter what? What if the situation were reversed? What if Glenn cheated on her? What if this happened multiple times? Will she continue to forgive him? It's a slippery slope if you don't have clearly defined acceptable behavior patterns and complete commitment to each other.

The next week, I decided that I needed to see a lawyer. I explained my situation to him. I said that I want to fight for marriage. He assured me that at least we could get mandatory marriage counseling through the courts. When I left the office, I felt better, thinking about the future. Whether we stay married or not, I will have the opportunity to speak up and be heard. My lawyer, Sue, has found a lawyer and wants to go to marriage counseling to try to save the marriage. My lawyer said the judge will probably order it, so it's best to start now to shorten the time until the divorce is final. I was able to talk Kurt into marriage counseling. We are meeting today. I hope we can solve our problems and move on. I know this won't happen in one session, but maybe over time we can fix it.

I walked into the counselor's office to walk through it. It may only take one or two sessions for the counselor to decide that the marriage is irreparable. The consultant is a woman, so she will probably side with Sue. I just need to stick it out and let her know that the relationship was doomed even before she cheated. This was just the last straw. The counselor asked me to tell her why I wanted a divorce. We grew apart, and I don't think the damage that was done can ever be undone. What kind of damage exactly, she asked. Trust. I don't think I can ever trust her again. Communication. We haven't really talked in years. Love. I lost love for her. Dedicated and faithful. She devoted her time, effort, and emotions to another man and had sex with him repeatedly. What do you think caused all this, she asked. What was the root cause? I would say it all started when she rejected my love and intimacy. In short, she deprived me of any sexual intimacy. Sue, do you want to answer? First of all, I still love Kurt. I know the last few years haven't been the best. Why, she asked. I've lost all interest in sex. I don't need it or want it, Sue said. It's physiological. Have you gone through menopause? Yes. I just didn't have any desire. Have you spoken to your doctor? Has he prescribed you hormone replacement therapy? Yes. I didn't want to take any medication, Sue said. Why? I don't like taking chemicals. Have you discussed this with Kurt, she asked? Yes, but he didn't want to understand my point of view. He just wanted sex. Kurt, did she tell you about her concerns? Yes, and I told her that there are other ways to deal with it other than giving up sex entirely. What ways, she asked? I tried to do everything I could to turn her on. I tried, but she pushed me away. I take it the quarrels started around this time. Yeah, she wasn't ready to even try, I said. How did this affect you, she asked? It seemed like she didn't love me or didn't want me anymore, or if she did, she wasn't ready to do anything for me or for our relationship. Sue, you said you loved Kurt. Why couldn't you meet his needs and desires? I had no interest, and his attempts to cajole me, pester me, and even beg made me angry. Why couldn't he just understand that this was no longer part of our relationship? Sue, physical intimacy is a normal part of marriage and a way for two people to express their love for each other, she said. It's just sex. It's not love. Love is much more than that, Sue replied. Yes, love is much more than that, but intimacy is part of a relationship, she said. Kurt, tell me what you were doing and what was going on in your head at that time, she said. Well, after months of no sex or intimacy, I decided to stop initiating and wait for her to take the initiative. I thought maybe on special occasions she'd want to be intimate. I thought maybe for Thanksgiving, when we'd see how much we have as a family, she would want to be intimate, but that didn't happen. Then Christmas, maybe I'll get a gift from her for Christmas, but that didn't happen. Then New Year, let's start over, but that didn't happen. Valentine's Day, the most romantic day of the year, we went to dinner, just the two of us, but again nothing happened. Then my birthday, nothing. It's her birthday, nothing. Finally, on our anniversary, we went to dinner and danced again, but again nothing happened. From that moment on, I just zoned out. When we talked, it was without emotion and in a businesslike tone. Conversations were about things to do around the house, doctor's appointments, or whether we were going to see friends for the weekend. We became more like roommates. Sue, what do you say about this, she asked? I didn't know what to say. I felt embarrassed by what Kurt said. He made me into a cold, uncaring. I can't believe he looked at every event as an opportunity for sex. Was this all he was thinking about? I didn't know that. I just thought he accepted it. It wasn't that important to me. Why should it be important to him? I began to understand what was going on in his head. He thought that my refusal of physical intimacy meant a refusal of love. This was not the case. That doesn't mean I stopped loving you, I said, looking at him. Sue, Kurt said, you haven't shown me love in years. You even gave another man what you didn't give me. How does that show that you still love me? I don't think you hated me, but I think you were just no matter what. Now it's mutual. I don't care what you do, and I will find someone who makes me happy and who I can make happy. She will show me how happy she is every day, and we will enjoy physical intimacy with each other, even when we don't particularly want it. We will do it for each other unselfishly, so that each of us gets what he needs. This is the type of woman I will be looking for once this divorce is finalized. I want to continue my life to find this woman. With these words, Kurt got up from his chair and left the office. The consultant and I talked for some more time, but my mind was not there. I gradually realized that Kurt no longer saw me in his life. He wants to find someone else to be happy with because he was unhappy with me. I hurt him badly. In fact, in a way, I humiliated him. I didn't have sex with him, but I did have sex with another man, a younger one. In the animal world, a young male replaces an old one. They didn't fight for me, and he lost. He was just replaced.

I returned home and sat down in an empty house, alone with my thoughts. I didn't feel like cooking dinner, so I just ordered pizza from Domino's. While I waited, I relived the last few years. I saw it now. Kurt tried to show me his love, but I refused him. It wasn't just the act of sex; it was intimacy, physical and emotional. The doorbell rang, and I went to open it. There was a delivery man standing in the doorway. He was older, not much older than me. He looked familiar. Sue Randolf, he asked. Yes, I thought so. Thank you very much, what, I asked. Because you had fun, we all had to suffer, and now I'm working this crappy job to make up the difference. I hope you like the pizza, he said with a strange expression on his face. As I closed the door, I looked at the box of pizza in my hands. Did he do something to my pizza? I didn't know, but I threw it in the trash.

In recent weeks, after cutting hours at work, I've been the target of hateful looks and hushed comments from co-workers. The work was becoming unpleasant, but it was my fault. I deserved it. This meeting did not go as I expected. At least I was able to voice my opinion. This will likely result in a protracted series of counseling sessions. Well, at least I got some satisfaction. I went to the apartment and sat there alone. I would be alone until the divorce was finalized, and then I promised myself to do exactly what I said and find someone who made me happy and who I could make happy in return. While I was sitting complaining about my fate, the phone rang. This must be Sue calling to yell at me about what happened in the counseling session. I looked at the display. It was Glenn. I smiled at the unexpected call. Hey Glenn, how are you? Hi Dad, he said in a dead voice. What's happened, I asked? We broke up, Dad. Janie and I broke up. No, it can't be. You love her so much. We've been fighting since Thanksgiving. She thinks I'm stupid for expecting her to promise not to do something she doesn't plan to do, but isn't ready to make a promise. I can't go into marriage with that kind of doubt in my head. Damn it, Sue, I thought. You not only ruined our marriage but also our son's potential marriage. I'm sorry, son. I know you love her. It will take time, but you will find someone you can be completely committed to and who will be completely committed to you, mind, body, and soul. Thank you, Dad. I hope you find one too.

I was sitting watching TV when the bell rang. I thought about not answering, so I let it go to the answering machine, but curiosity got the better of me, and I looked at the display. It was Julia. Hi Julia, thanks for calling. How are you? Okay, Mom. How are you? It's been better, I said gloomily. Well, then I don't want to upset you anymore, but what is it? Julia, speak. Glenn broke up with Janie. What? Why? She called me recently and told me he's all on edge because of the cheating. He thinks she's going to cheat on him. Oh no, I thought. What have I done? He even wanted them both to sign a prenuptial agreement according to which everything except the clothes on the traitor would go to the other party. Oh God, I said quietly. Then I thought, he's just like his dad. If Kurt and I started our relationship these days, he would do the same thing. That was rare in those days. I guess I can be grateful for that. They had a huge row, and he broke up with her. She called me in tears, not understanding why he was so stubborn. I didn't know what to tell her. Maybe he'll calm down and they can work it out, I said. Hopefully, but in reality, I knew my son wouldn't change his mind. I give up, I told myself.

The next day, I called my lawyer. I told him that I was ready for a 50/50 division of property instead of 70/30 and also changed the reason for the divorce to irreconcilable differences. If Kurt agrees, I'll sign the papers right away. I knew that fighting was simply delaying the inevitable. I hoped he would see this as a good compromise. My lawyer called me, and we got an offer from Sue's lawyer. She offered to stop counseling sessions and sign divorce papers if we changed the property division to 50/50 and the reason for divorce to irreconcilable differences. I told my lawyer, there is no way I will accept this offer. She can't hide her infidelity by changing the reason for the divorce. Remind her lawyer that we have a photo and a private investigator's testimony that she was at a B&B with a man who wasn't her husband, and they were naked on the bed. I will agree to a 50/50 split if she accepts another reason for divorce, he said. He would talk to her lawyer and see what could be done. I told my lawyer to accept it. I've almost decided that I won't stay in this city once it's all over. St. Paul was nice when we lived there. Maybe I'll go back there, or maybe I'll go to warmer climes. Either way, I won't have to deal with people in this city who despise me anymore. I thought about the past year, how everything has changed.

The next day at work, a new salesman from Harland Paper came to try to get our business back. I asked him where David was. In the hospital for at least another day or two, he said. Why, I asked, trying not to seem too worried. He was beaten. I was assigned to this territory, and he is being transferred to Central South Dakota as soon as he is recovered enough to return to work. Do they know who beat him up? No, he said. Two people attacked him from behind. He didn't see them. Wow. I wondered if Kurt might have had something to do with this. It may have been one of the other husbands, as Kurt told them. I should call David to see how he is, but it might be misunderstood. I'm done with him. She accepted the offer. Now all we had to do was wait for the trial. Since we both agreed to all the terms in advance, everything should go quickly. I thought about our years together and was still angry about what she did to us. Our family will be different now. I wonder if we'll ever be able to communicate normally again. The house was so empty that I was even happy about the upcoming sale and division of funds. The empty house made me think too much. I would turn on the TV and watch endless shows, but my mind would always wander. When I accepted David's invitation to dinner, I said to myself, what's wrong with that? Now I know. Somewhere in America, a middle-aged married woman is right now accepting an invitation to dinner from a man who is not her husband. She asks herself, what's wrong with this? If only she knew. Subscribe to our channel so that your love doesn't cheat on you and go ahead and listen to the next story because this story is nothing compared to the next one. If you're under 18, don't even think. Click to the next one.