Transcription
I heard that you don't know how to get spoiled by a man. I heard that some of you—and honestly, my heart breaks every time I think about this—are paying for a man. I know that you guys need my help; that's why I'm here.
Is it necessary for you to be spoiled by a man? No, absolutely not. If you want to do 50/50, whatever, I don't care, because it's not my life. But at the end of the day, I still want you to watch this video because I want you to look at me and think, "Wow, if Liz expects this much from her partner, then maybe I can expect my partner to at least give me some respect." You don't have to want your partner to spoil you, but just look at me and think, "This woman thinks that she is worth so much, and that nobody can be with her unless they provide this. Maybe I should demand some respect, and honesty, and love, and loyalty." Also, like these misconceptions about the fact, like, "Oh, a man providing for a woman is unrealistic," whatever. But why is it never unrealistic when a single mother is providing for three, four, five, six, seven children, and that is okay, and that is normal, and she should be able to take care of that financially, but a man cannot provide for one single woman? Like, why are we babying men these days? I don't get it. Why? Because people find it anti-feminist that a man is taking care of a woman, but I think it's anti-feminist that a woman is literally doing everything, and on top of that, she also has to work. She has to take care of the children, of the home; she has to be a wife, cook, nanny, cleaner, everything, and then on top of that, she also has to work. Who is winning here? Men have so much advantage, even in the wage, like the money that they make, everything. And you're going to sit there and justify to me paying for a man?
The reason why I love a man that provides and spoils is because, for example, my partner that I have right now, he was literally the reason that I could go into therapy. I did not have any money before I met him, and the money he gave me, I took it and I went to therapy with it. Like, without that, I would have literally not been able to be here and to start my healing journey. That's also why I want to say a huge thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this video. BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that easily connects you with a licensed therapist that can help you with any issue that you might be facing. BetterHelp also has a network of over 30,000 therapists, so you can easily find a therapist that can be the right match for you. But if the therapist that you connected with is not the right match, BetterHelp allows you to switch therapists with no additional charge, so this will literally save you a lot of time and a lot of money. I also love the fact that it's online because finding a therapist can be very hard, especially if your area has like limited options, and as well, if you're like depressed or you don't feel well, you can literally communicate with your therapist out of the comfort of your own home. Like, that's such a positive thing. To get started, you fill out some questions to help understand your specific needs, and then you'll get matched with a therapist in as little as a few days. You can schedule video, phone, or message-based sessions, whichever you are most comfortable with. Basically, you get all the same benefits as an in-person therapist, but without the extra hassle. If you think that you might benefit from therapy, then please visit BetterHelp.com/wizardliz or click the link in the description down below. Clicking that link not only helps support this channel but it also gets you 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.
Hi guys, my name is Liz, and welcome back to my channel. Okay, let's get right into it. First things first, I need you to understand that people in life get what they expect. I've always expected my partner to pay all my bills and do everything financially for me, because I grew up watching my mom go to work every single day, work in between men, and her ex-husband lay at home, do nothing. And then, after a long, abusive marriage like that where she was the provider, he ended up cheating on her with a younger woman. Now he has a family with this woman, and guess what? He is providing everything for this woman; he is working and paying all the bills. Why is he doing this now? Because that woman expects him to. There is no other option; he cannot be with that woman unless he works. And with my mom, her ex-husband, he knew if he worked or if he didn't work, she would still continue to provide and stay because of the children. I need women to understand that men will say they want good women, but good women never get rewarded. It's always like, "Oh, I want a day-one girl; I want a girl that has been there from the beginning," but those women get literally cheated on later. Why is this? Because that's not the woman they want; that's the only woman they can get right now. Once they are at a level where they have the money, they want to spend their money on their fantasy woman, on the woman that they actually want.
If you feel bad asking a man for anything, then you should think: if a man took out his celebrity crush, do you think that he would just take her out on a coffee date or something simple? No. Best believe he would go all out trying to impress his celebrity crush. Why are you anything less? Why are you literally lower than that? And men always have the highest expectations for women, and men will not be with you if you're not attractive or if you're not his type. They don't care; they don't care to wait or whatever. Start expecting good treatment; start expecting to be spoiled; start expecting him to give you money. Like, literally, those are your expectations, and that's it. And don't settle for less; just say, "Like, this is what I want," and look for the person that is willing to give you that. If a person is not willing to give you that, then also don't go with those people. You need to get the mindset out of your head that wealthy or provider men want to control you. If you think those men want to control you, then try dating a broke guy. Those men have no money, but they have audacity. One thing in life that broke men have is audacity. And truly, honestly, if I was a broke man, I would have audacity too. Like, I don't need to do anything for you, and you're literally going to give me all wifey treatment; you're going to do everything for me, and you're working on top of that as well, and maybe even giving me money. I would have audacity too. You're so easy for me, like, truly, that's how I think. She's so easy, and a lot of men think, "Okay, let me exploit her until I can get who I actually want." So stop doing this.
Other thing is: don't look for a wealthy man; look for a man with a provider mindset. My first boyfriend ever, when I was 19, he was a multi-millionaire; he was extremely wealthy, and I was broke, and he would sometimes give me money, but like literally nothing in compared to what he has. And with that money, I needed to buy dresses to look good on the dates, whatever. So basically, I was still broke after that. He was wealthy, yeah. Now my partner now, he is nearly not at all as wealthy as my first boyfriend, but he has a provider mindset. So my partner now, literally from the get-go, I never had to worry again about money because he had everything covered for me. He paid all my bills; everything. I literally didn't have to worry about anything anymore. My partner now, he always had the mindset of, "If I don't have money, I don't even want to date a woman, because I love taking care of a woman, and I want my woman to look amazing, and I don't care how I look next to her; she's like the prize." You know, that's how he thinks. So he said, even when I was younger and I was broke, I would not date; I was literally not dating because I could not even take a woman out. That is a provider mindset. So it doesn't matter if the guy right now makes like $11,000, $2,000, whatever a month; you should just look at—even with that money—is he still trying to do stuff for you in the capacity of the money that he has? And as well, have realistic expectations. Don't expect like Rolexes or crazy cars from someone that makes $1,000 a month. Allow your man to grow, and as well, don't think that those luxury things are what you should strive for, because at the end of the day, luxury items are just people that were very good at marketing a product; that's it. Luxury items are not special, and they also don't validate you. I think it's actually very insecure if any—if like people only focus on having luxury items and showing off that they have it—like it shows insecurity, 'cause something outside of you, some brands, you're trying to validate yourself with. That's also not the point of this video, because for me, honestly, I don't need to be dressed in designer, top-to-toe; I don't care. Like, I do love nice bags and maybe shoes or whatever, but I'm also not like obsessed with like brands. I am more obsessed with generational wealth; I want my children to have financial stability. And also don't think that like a lot of women are getting spoiled this way, where they literally are being given crazy amounts of money, whatever. It's only really a small type of woman because there's also not a lot of crazy rich men, and especially rich men these days, they don't want to spend on a woman anymore because any woman is willing to do anything for them for free or for nothing. They can get girls for nothing; you know, they don't have to spend on women, so why would they?
Also, if you have a man that's constantly showing off how much wealth he has to you or how much he has, ask him to transfer it to you. I had this guy that was trying to date me, and constantly he would send me DMs in a private jet, holding so much cash, like whatever, whatever, until a point that I literally told him, "Instead of showing me videos of you having cash, send the cash to me; deposit me the money." And then, obviously, he never did that again because, first of all, that's pathetic. I—I literally—it's literally like taking food and going somewhere where people don't have food and eating in front of them. Like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Another thing is: let a man know what your intentions are. If you are going on a first date, I, for example—before I start dating a partner, I always say, "I love a man that takes care of me; I expect a man to take care of me; I like to be treated and spoiled." And so, from the get-go, they know, "Okay, this is what it is." And also, in like the second date—I wouldn't say the first date because you guys don't know each other yet—but like the second date, you already have to see, like, "Okay, is he like trying to give me something, like flowers? Even something small doesn't matter. Is he like doing something for me?" If he isn't, why are you still there? Like, you're literally sitting there; you're showing everyone that you're with him, looking in front of people, like, "Oh my God, I'm the man; I have this beautiful woman in front of me," but you're sitting there and you don't have anything. Why? What are you doing there? Go home; like, go home now. Some men are not willing to do that, so they will just leave you alone and go about their life, which is fine, because that's also not our type.
And if you are already in a relationship and your partner, he didn't spoil you yet and you want him to start spoiling you, just tell him. Like, hey, just be honest; say like, "Hey, I really would appreciate it if you gave me some money, like an allowance, or I would appreciate it if you took more care of me." If you like, just say it in a subtle way, nice way. But one really important thing is: do not demand a man for things. Demanding a man for things is just, honestly, in my opinion, disgusting, because a man doesn't owe you anything. If a man wants to spoil you, it's because he wants to do that, and if he knows that you like it, he will do that, you know? But you saying like, "You have to do this for me"—he doesn't have to do anything for you; he doesn't owe you anything. Okay, so don't say it like that. My boyfriend, he had an ex-girlfriend, and he literally told me, like, the reason why he didn't buy her anything was because she would say like, "You have to do this, and you have to buy me stuff," and he's like, "I was literally repulsed by that; like, I find it disgusting." Is: do not tell a man that your exes treated you badly. The way men think is—and this is actually what my man told me—he thinks, "Okay, I have to do a little bit more than the ex in that way; I'm like a little better, you know? I'm just—I have to do the bare minimum more, so then in her eyes, I'm better than an ex." So if you tell him, "Oh, my ex used to beat me up and abuse me," then he will think, "Oh, okay, if I just don't abuse her, I'm the good guy." Okay? So what I recommend you do is always tell him, "Oh, yeah, my ex always used to take care of me; like, I was always financially taken care of," all these things. You have to tell a man that, and maybe later down the line, when you're already in a relationship, you can tell him like how it really was if you want to tell about your exes and you can open up. But especially in the beginning stages when you guys are dating, do not say this.
Now, if you've already told him that your exes were so bad and they mistreated you, don't worry. What you can do now is you make your man believe that either your friend, your sister, I don't know, some female in that you know is getting treated so well by her boyfriend, by her partner, by her husband. You should say, like, "Oh my God, my friend, she literally—she's always taken care of by her husband or her boyfriend; he always does everything for her. Oh, he just bought her this, this, and that." See how men are? They're competitive; they're very competitive. So if you tell a man that your friend is being taken care of like this, then their competitive nature comes up, and they're like, "Okay, this is what I'm competing with." Even if I mention to my man, "My girlfriend got these pair of shoes, and I love them," he literally buys them for me the next day. Like, it's a competitive nature that they have. Another thing is: stop saying you don't need a man, and especially in front of a man or to a man, don't say that. Don't say like, "Oh, I don't need you," whatever. If you tell a man you don't need him, he will not do anything to show up for you. Literally, like, don't complain about not getting spoiled if you're telling a man, "I don't need you." It doesn't work like that; you'll make him feel small. Basically, what you need to do is actually act like you do need him, even for like the smallest things, for example, a light bulb. Like, you can do it on your own; you can fix that light bulb on your own. Call your man; ask your man to do it; tell him, "Can you please fix the light bulb for me?" And when he does that, just appreciate him for it. Like, men need to feel needed and appreciated, so when you literally give him that feeling, it will make him happy. Remember one time, like with my little brother, I was like installing this cat toy, and it was like big, and I kept wanting to do it on my own, wanting to do it, and he kept being like, "No, no, let me do it; let me do it," and he was so insistent on it to a point where I just stopped and let him do it completely, and he felt so proud of himself. And then I told my mom, I was like, "Mom, look how good he did; like, how well," and I could see it really boosted his ego. See, a lot of women, when they get stuff from a man or a man does something nice for them, women forget to appreciate them or to praise them or say like, "Oh, you did so well; thank you so much." When a man doesn't feel appreciated, he will go somewhere else to find that appreciation in another woman. As well, make him do small things for you; like, it doesn't matter what it is, even transferring you to get your nails done, buying you a dress, things like that, like small things, sort of small. If he has never ever spoiled you, like, oh, say like, "Oh, can you pay for my car to get it fixed," whatever, like something small, for this is also such a big thing because women are so afraid to ask, and this is the easiest thing ever; like, just ask, just ask, and you will get it. Like, I had this one friend, and she literally was dating like this wealthy guy; they were together for one year, and when she met me, I told her, I'm like, "Oh, well, so do you have a card that he gives you with an allowance on it?" And she's like, "No," and I was like, "Why don't you have a card?" And then she's like, "Oh my God, like, do you think I should ask and stuff?" I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, go ask." So then she went ahead, and she just asked him, "Can you give me a card?" And then, from then on, he's still taking care of her till this day, and she has a card with an allowance on it just because she asked.
Well, in my first relationship, I used to never want to ask for things; I just wanted him to do it, whatever. And literally, even when he said like, "Oh, I love these shoes," I would be like, "No, no, I don't want them; whatever; they're too expensive," because I didn't want him to think that like, "Oh, I'm a gold digger," or whatever, you know? But with my relationship now, immediately when I met him, I like—when he said like, "Oh, I like shoes," I was like, "Yeah, me too; can like, can we go buy them?" And he would literally take me to go shopping to go buy stuff, like, just because I was already from the get-go, I was like, "Okay, yeah, let's go." Just don't be afraid to ask men for things; like, men are literally not afraid to ask us for anything; they will ask you to take your clothes off in two seconds, so it doesn't matter. Ask them: "Give me money." Make sure that he knows what brands you like; make sure that he just knows what you like, so in general, if he does want to gift you and without you knowing, then he knows what to gift you because he knows what you like. Like, if you're walking in a mall, just look at the stores that you like or go inside and be like, "Oh, let's let's just take a look, babe; let's look at what what I want, this and that." Another thing is: show him that these things genuinely make you happy. Like, what they say, "Happy wife is happy life," is really true. A man gets really happy because of his woman being happy. So if he does nice things for you, if he's trying his best, if he's gifting you, spoiling you, just be—be like, "Oh, I'm really appreciative; I'm really happy." Like, just let him see that this makes you happy, so then he will click in his head, like, "Oh, okay, if I do stuff for her and if I spoil her, it means more happiness, so better for me." But don't go—for example, he does something and nagging like, "Oh, this is not good enough," whatever. Please don't do that; that's so rude. Okay? So another thing is: make him think that it was his idea. So, for example, when I met my partner now, I—when I wanted like a designer bag now, see, there were two brands that I let him choose from, so I asked him, I'm like, "Okay, what brand do you like? Do you like this brand or this brand?" And he was like, "Oh, I like this brand," which was the more expensive brand, and I was like, "Okay, nice. What kind—what kind of bag do you like from that brand?" And he's like, "Oh, this one with this leather." I'm like, "Oh, okay, nice," and and then I was like, "What color?" He's like, "Yeah, in black," whatever. I'm like, "Oh, okay," I'm like, "I would really love that brand; like, it's so nice; like, you have really great style." And then he goes like, "Yeah, yeah, you're right; oh, yeah." And then a couple of months later, he got it for me. So then when he bought it, I was like, "Oh my God, you were so right; this is an amazing choice; like, I love the bag." But actually, I was the one that put the idea in his head, but I just made him choose with which either brand that I would have been really, really happy with. And for example, if I was dating someone new or you are dating someone new, you just tell—tell him like, "Yeah, you really do seem like the type of men that—that likes—likes to provide for a woman. Oh, yeah, like you're really like a manly man; like, I can see that." And he'll be like, "Yeah, yeah, I really am." Oh, so yeah, you just make him think that it is his idea to spoil a woman.
There's like this misconception over the fact that you need to be extremely feminine in order to attract a provider man, and I don't think this is true because I know people that literally wear like masculine clothes, and they also get provided for by their man. I just think it's more: wear what you're comfortable in. Like, do not just adapt a very feminine style and you look very weird wearing it. Like, some women really don't look good in a very feminine style, so you have to figure out your style, and whatever you feel most comfortable in, that is what will radiate confidence, and confidence is what will attract someone that is willing to provide for you or willing to take care of you. Also, understand that you, as a woman, you have to receive; like, it's a law. You—you want to attract; you have to receive. And I'm going to explain why. So I was watching this video from Shir 7, and it was basically about that if you don't receive, you are disrespecting the divine feminine as a woman, right? And she also said that giving money to a woman is the way to being wealthy, and that is so true because, because I, for example, ever since I have my YouTube channel, I have been giving money to my mother, and I have been taking care of a woman, right? My mother's a woman; I've been taken care of her; I have been becoming wealthier and wealthier, and I truly believe that is the reason why I'm getting more blessed and more blessed. Every single successful man I know is taking care of a woman, whether it's their mother, whether it's their partner, anyone. It's always a woman, and when they do it, they always get more. Like my partner as well, ever since he started taking care of me, he got more and more blessed in his job; he went up in his career; he became wealthier. Why? He is taking care of a woman. You want money? Go bless a woman. In my head, I think no one is good enough for me; I literally think that I am the best, so I make people happy; you have to make me happy as well. Anyways, guys, I hope you enjoyed this video; I hope you guys learned something, and yeah, I see you in the next video. Bye-bye.