Transcription
Listen to me. Somebody needs to hear this. And I need you to hear the whole message because this might be the clarity that keeps you from derailing your destiny by going back to something God spent years teaching you how to survive. You've been praying for restoration. You've been praying [music] for God to heal you. You've been asking him to restore everything you've lost.
But lately, something's been happening to your heart. You're thinking about that person different. The anger isn't there like it used to be. Your heart is getting soft again. You can remember the good. You can remember why you love them. You can see their humanity again. And somehow, after everything [music] they've done, you still have compassion for them.
And now you're confused because you're asking, "God, why are you opening my heart to this person again? Why am I feeling this now? Are you bringing them back? Is this a sign?" Because let's be real. This person didn't just hurt you once. Every time you've let them back into your life, they've brought destruction with them, chaos, pain, confusion, old wounds getting ripped open again. Every time you thought maybe this time will be different, you found [music] yourself cleaning up another mess. Every time you let your guard down, you remembered why you had to put it up in the first place.
And eventually, you learned how to protect yourself. >> [music] >> You had to. You learned how to shut the door. You learned how to guard your heart. You learned how to stop [music] expecting from them what they had repeatedly shown you they weren't capable of giving. And maybe there were times you didn't handle it perfectly. Maybe there were times you reacted, times you got angry, times you said things from a place of pain. But if you're honest, underneath so much of that anger was grief. Because you never actually wanted to be at war with this person. You never wanted things to become what they became. Your heart kept screaming, it didn't [music] have to be this way. And that's what hurt because you could see what it [music] could have been. You knew what was possible. You knew the love you were capable of giving. You knew what you would have built if they would have built with you. [music] And that's why their actions hurt you so deeply. You weren't just grieving what happened. You were grieving what could have been. You were grieving [music] the future you saw, the family you imagined, the relationship you believed was possible, the life you thought you were going to share.
And some of you have been standing outside the tomb of that life for years. Standing [music] outside the tomb of what could have been. Standing outside the tomb of the prayers [music] you thought God was going to answer differently. Standing outside the tomb of the future you had already pictured in your mind. And just like Martha, standing outside the tomb of Lazarus, >> [music] >> you still believe in Jesus. You still believe he's good. You still believe [music] he's powerful. You still believe he can restore. But there's a part [music] of you that's been saying, "Lord, if you would have been here, this wouldn't have [music] died. If you would have answered me. If you would have changed them. If you would have softened their heart. If you would have intervened. If you would have fixed my marriage. [music] If you would have restored my family. If you would have saved this relationship. We didn't have to end [music] up here."
And what makes it even harder is you've seen him do it for other people. You've watched God restore marriages. You've watched him bring families back together. You've watched him soften hearts. You've watched him resurrect things that everybody else thought was dead. And somewhere inside of you, you wondered, God, >> [music] >> if you did it for them, why didn't you do it for me? Maybe that's where some of your anger has really come from. Grief, because you know God had the power to change it. And you couldn't understand why he didn't. So, you've been standing outside this tomb, waiting for something to move, waiting for the stone to roll away, waiting for the thing you lost to come walking back out.
And I need you to understand something. Jesus is not standing at the tomb indifferent to your pain. When Jesus [music] came to the tomb of Lazarus, Jesus wept. He knew resurrection was coming, and he still wept. He saw the grief. He felt the weight of what death had done. And he entered into their pain. See, God has seen [music] every tear you've cried over what happened. He's seen every night you asked him why. He's seen every time >> [music] >> you had to walk away from something you desperately wish could have been different. He's seen you grieve something in your heart you never wanted to lose. And he's been in that grief with you.
And now, after all this time, your heart is becoming [music] soft again, and you're thinking, "God, is this it? Is this what I've been waiting for? Are you bringing it back to [music] life?" And I need you to hear me carefully. Don't confuse [music] God restoring your heart with God restoring the relationship. Those are not necessarily the same thing. And if you're not careful, you'll take the healing [music] God is doing inside of you and use it as permission to walk back into the very thing he gave [music] you wisdom to survive. You've done that before. Every time your heart got soft, you dropped your guard. Every time you felt compassion, you gave them [music] access. Every time hope came back, you started ignoring what God had already shown you. And every time, you ended up standing in front of another [music] spear.
David loved Saul. David honored Saul. David refused to become Saul. But, David also learned something. When Saul throws a spear, you get out the room. And hear me, God didn't soften David's heart toward Saul so David could keep standing in front of Saul's spear. David could honor Saul from a distance. David [music] could refuse to destroy Saul without giving Saul another opportunity to destroy him. David could keep his heart pure before God while still recognizing exactly [music] who Saul has shown himself to be.
And this is what God has been teaching you through all this. You don't have to hate somebody to leave them. You don't have to become bitter to have boundaries. You don't have to stop loving them to recognize that [music] the version of them standing in front of you is not safe for the version of you God is calling you to [music] become. You can forgive them and not give them access. You can pray for them and still protect your peace. You can genuinely desire their restoration without making yourself responsible for restoring [music] them, because that's God's job. Your heart can be soft, and your discernment can still be sharp. That's maturity.
God isn't [music] softening your heart so you'll go backward. He's showing you that what happened to you didn't destroy your ability to love. Look [music] at you. After everything you've been through, you can still love. After everything they did, you can still forgive. After all the betrayal, all the disappointment, [music] all the chaos, all the nights where you asked God, "Why?" your heart is becoming [music] soft again. After every spear they threw at you, your heart didn't become a spear.
And you've been [music] so focused on the tomb, waiting for God to resurrect what died around you, that you haven't noticed what he's been resurrecting inside of you because the first resurrection in this story is you. You've been praying, "God, restore my life." And he's been saying, "I am." You just thought restoration would look like getting back what you lost. But look at your heart. This is restoration. God is restoring your ability to love without losing yourself. He's restoring your ability to forgive without abandoning wisdom. He's restoring your compassion without taking away your discernment. He's restoring your heart without removing the lessons that [music] everything you've been through taught you.
And I don't know what God is going to do with that person. Maybe one day he does something miraculous. Maybe [music] there's genuine repentance. Maybe there's real transformation. Maybe there's humility, [music] accountability, changed behavior, fruit. And if God does that, you won't have to [music] force it. You won't have to manufacture it. You won't have to ignore everything God taught you just to make the story work. The fruit will speak for itself. But until then, don't go back just because your heart got soft. Don't mistake forgiveness for instruction. Don't mistake compassion for confirmation. Don't mistake healing for a command to reopen a door God taught you to close because the person you've been waiting on God to change may not be the person [music] that he was preparing for the next chapter. But I know he's been preparing you.
God isn't preparing [music] you for what was. He's preparing you for what's next. He's preparing your heart for the kind of love that you couldn't have carried before. He's making sure that when restoration finally shows up in your life, you don't bring the bitterness of the last season into the blessing [music] of the next one. You've been looking around saying, "God, I feel something shifting, but I don't see anything changing." You've been looking in the wrong place. Look at you. The circumstances [music] may not have changed yet. They still may be doing the same things. The external world may look exactly the same, but something inside of you is different. Your heart is soft again, but this time you have wisdom. This time you have discernment. This time you recognize [music] the spear. And this time when your heart gets soft, you don't have to run [music] back into the room.
Maybe he's bringing them back. Maybe he's bringing somebody new. Maybe he's going to resurrect something that you thought was dead. Or maybe he's about to create something [music] so different that you wouldn't have ever even imagined. His ways are not your ways, so don't derail your destiny trying to force an old chapter to fit the person God has made you into. Keep your heart soft. Keep your eyes open. Keep your discernment sharp. And let God decide what belongs in your next chapter. Because the restoration you've been praying for is already happening. You were just waiting to see it around you when God decided to start it within you. And that's the sign you've been asking him for. God is preparing your heart not necessarily for what was, but for what's next. >> [music] >> And if this message found you right where you are, if you've been standing outside that tomb, if you've been asking God to restore what was lost while he's been restoring something inside of you, I want you to put this [music] prayer in the comments. God, prepare my heart for what's next.