S1 Episode 7: LET LOVE HEAL YOU

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Welcome to Let Love, a podcast with the Sisters of Life. We invite you to join us for conversation, looking at life through the lens of love. You are loved. You are made in God's image, and your life matters. Let's talk about it.

Hello and welcome back to Let Love podcast with the Sisters of Life. I'm Sister Marie Veritas, and this is Sister On You Stay. And it is again a joy to be back.

Listen, a week just goes by so quickly. It does. I look forward to it every week.

Oh my goodness, you know, I had a funny thought today, Sister. You tell me. Um, do you ever have a moment, or a moment in your life where you're like, "Gosh, do I have a theme song?" You know, the song that like, just beats to the beat of your heart and your soul?

Huh. You know, I don't know if I've had that thought, but now I'm having it. I think I need a new song.

Well, here's the thing. Twelve years ago, I entered the convent. Twelve years ago. And so that was the last time I had a cell phone. And my cell phone ringtone was "Chariots of Fire."

Well, yeah. Yeah. Isn't it? It's epic. I just think it's St. Paul running the race, right? For eternal glory, the prize of heaven. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. I love it. It's epic. Yeah. Yeah. So I was kind of thinking about that song today. Okay. It's a fight. I don't know if you. Sounds like you're kind of on the Chariots of Fire.

I am. I know that you've taken that. I don't think I can make my song. Is that original?

Yep. I made it. I'm right now. Caesarea. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah. It's in St. Paul. It's it kind of spurs me on. Yeah. Makes you want to be a saint.

Listen, we're here. We're unique and unrepeatable. Great O'Connor said, "You didn't want cookie-cutter sisters." No, we're sure not cookie-cutter.

Well, I think, Sister, thank you for that. I'm gonna, I'm gonna ponder your beat. I mean, you see, laughter is the best medicine. I think we're doing good then. Yeah.

What it ties in nicely to what we're gonna talk about today. Yes. Let love heal you. Let love heal you. Yeah. And if God is love, then how do we let love, how do we let God heal us?

That's a great question. Hmm. Well, maybe should we start with a prayer and then dive, dive right in?

Sounds awesome, Sister. Yeah. Do you want to start it?

I would love to. Yeah.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Jesus, you are King of Kings and Lord of Lords. We ask that you simply send your Holy Spirit to anoint this time, to anoint our minds and our hearts, to come where we need you most, where we need your love the most, especially as we ponder your gift of healing that flows from the cross, that flows from your wounded side, that this life just pour itself into our own, especially where we need it the most. We ask for great wisdom and courage to invite you into those places. And we entrust ourselves to your Sacred Heart, Jesus, and just ask that you draw us into the depths of your Sacred Heart right now, into His protection and care, and His mercy and love. And Blessed Mother, pray for us as we say, Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen. Our Lady of Grace, pray for us. Amen. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Letting love heal us. Sisters of Life are crazy about this stuff. Yeah. It's a, I mean, it's just, we all need healing. You know, every, every person on the planet, we've all been wounded in some way. We need healing. And it's, you know, as sisters with our mission of hope and healing after abortion, but also our other missions, it's just so close to our hearts. And, and that it's possible. Actually, it's possible. And Jesus wants to give it to us. So eager. Yeah. It's like His, His heart is weak, waiting to break itself open. Yeah. Over anyone willing to receive. Yes. And I think, yeah, we do. We see this happen. The power of God's love go to work, healing hearts, especially in this time. And in a culture where, yeah, we're so vulnerable to being wounded. But even, you know, and that's the grand scheme of things. But it makes me think too, it's like, this, this started back when I was a kid. Yeah. Right? We can talk about the wounds of our hearts, but also, yeah, we're just fragile little wonders. Are we? We are. I don't know if you had any experiences that, that you needed healing as a child.

I was four years old, and I was running and fell and scraped my face on the sidewalk. The entire thing. Yeah. Yeah. My whole face, man. Yeah. Yeah. You can't tell that I'm gloriously restored, but really, my whole face. And it was like, wow. But, you know, when we went to, like, the bank, the bank tellers took pity on me and gave me extra lollipops, you know? So as a kid, I, you know, was grateful. Big win. Yeah. But I do remember that very vividly. That special moment. It was a special moment. Yep. Gosh. Yeah. What about you, Sister?

You know, the first thing that comes to mind, I grew up in rural Maine, so mostly forests, evergreens. And so my siblings and I, we had just read some poems by Robert Frost. And one of these poems is titled "Birches." And so this poem depicts one of the images that Robert Frost gives is these little boys climbing saplings, birch saplings, and swinging from them like victoriously, gloriously swinging on these, these very bendable birch saplings. So we immediately went out into the woods and said, "We're gonna do it." And this was the day that we learned that there's different kinds of wood. That birch trees are different than pine trees. Yes. So my sister, nobly, stepped forth to be the first. And so we watched her climb up this pine tree. She selected an evergreen. And she got to the top, and it was, I mean, it was a good height. And she started swinging back and forth. Then there's this big smile on her face. And all of us are ready to go run and scatter and find our own. When, in an instant, there was this snap. And the whole top of the tree, which she was holding on to, broke off from the rest of the tree. And she, it was a pretty good fall. I mean, 15 feet. I don't exaggerate. But yeah, she just, she fell to the ground. All of us are horrified. We ran over. We're pulling evergreen boughs off of her. And, yeah, the wind was knocked out of her a little bit. And there were some cuts and scrapes. But it is amazing, physically, to ponder our capacity to heal. And with a little encouragement from all of us, she got up again. And, and we picked the right tree next time. Yeah.

It's a great image though. I mean, I mean, not that her getting hurt, like the difference, like even, like God bless her. But like the difference between the woods. You wouldn't think as a kid, you wouldn't think of birches more supple than pine, you know? You wouldn't think that. You know? But I actually love that because it gives me, in terms of spiritual tapping, you know, some trees can hold us, and some can. And actually, technically, only one tree can hold us. And that's the tree of the cross, Sister. Only the cross can hold our burdens, our wounds. Only the cross and the resurrection is gonna heal us. You know, that's, that's the tree we can lean on and swing from, maybe. Yes. We. Amen. But the victory that we're looking for. Yeah. And it's like, that's that. Okay. That's awesome, Sister. Yeah. Amen. Yeah. But what a Grammy. That's just a neat image.

Well, I do. I think, well, here we go. Okay. So Jesus Christ is one of the victory. That healing is possible. But my sense is that if I look at my own life, I look at others, precursor to claiming that gift of healing is admitting that I'm capable of being wounded. You know, that my heart is vulnerable, that I'm fragile, that I'm weak. I can. Yeah. Wounded. Yeah. And that's hard. It's hard. And it, I mean, it comes really from like our hearts. The reason our hearts are capable of being wounded is because they're capable of loving and being loved, right? And that immediately, by the very nature of love, there's a vulnerability to that. Mm-hmm. And so, and so, I mean, they can be wounded if they're not loved properly. If, you know, if we're used to experience used instead of love, you know, that that is deeply wounding. Yeah. You know, and, and we can all carry, you know, greater or lesser wounds. But it's rests in that the capacity of our hearts to be vulnerable. And that's hard when we've been wounded.

Well, I think, as I hear you talk, Sister, it takes great humility to be healed. And it takes humility to be loved. And in a sense, I think it takes humility to acknowledge fully, acknowledged before the Lord, actually, our dignity, our profound dignity that He has inscribed in us. My heart's desire for wholeness, for, yeah, holiness, to claim the full gift of that love that you're speaking of. And, yeah, I think to, to admit that I'm capable, you have capable of being wounded, it's not easy. No. And, and even to admit, like, I mean, sometimes aren't wounds are self-inflicted, you know? To admit we've messed up, you know? More or others have let us down. Mm-hmm. You know, or someone didn't treat us the way we were supposed to be treated. And, and that's, that can be hard to admit that, you know, like you said, it can be humiliating. You know, like, Sister, I even kind of threatened our security. And it's even, you know, calling out, you know, crutches or things we've coped with, you know, to kind of keep the pain quiet. But it's like, that's actually not what God wants for us. What a sister, he wants a fullness of life, a fullness of restoration in our hearts. Yeah. Even in those most deepest, most painful wounds, which we might carry, he wants to go there with his light and his healing balm. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

You know, it kind of reminds me of a story. Mm-hmm. Will you indulge a story, Sister?

Tell me.

So, we decided as a family, we're gonna go hiking. And this is a couple years back. So my nephew, he was about five years old at the time. He was kind of hard to get excited about hiking up a mountain. I think he's up a temperament that he'd rather just sit and enjoy TV and chips and things like this. Don't we all, right? So we promised him ice cream. And at that, he was willing to to give this hiking thing a try. So we took off and hiking happily up this little mountain. And him and his brother ran ahead of us quite a bit. And of course, as we happened upon them, they had found a giant puddle right in the middle of the trail. And as good five and seven-year-old boys know how to do, they had flung off their shoes and their socks and they were splashing about wildly, like wild men, in this giant puddle. And, and sure enough, my nephew started to kind of, his face indicated there was some pain. And tears came. And we pulled him out. And sure enough, yep, there was a major situation going on. No, his foot needed some care and attention. So we went to work trying to get his, this major cut on his foot taken care of. And my dear nephew, in this moment, here we are. He just looks at us and he says this. He said, "I did not want to come here. I cannot walk now. You will have to carry me." And I have to say, while none of us agreed with him, that after we got him bandaged up, he would be able to walk. Grace stopped me in that moment. And I just, I was so drawn by his wisdom as a child. And what my heart probably says when I come to these different points where I am confronted with my fragility or a place where I'm hurt or wounded. Admitting I need help. And I did not want to come here. No, I don't think any of us do. I can't walk. Admitting, actually, I need a remedy. And the remedies that I've been leaning on, and the crutches I've been walking with, the places I've been numbing this place out, aren't cutting it. And then he comes to his conclusion. Now, you will have to carry me. That's the wisdom of a child. And I think this wisdom cannot be underrated. This is the, is our jackpot as Christians. We are God's beloved sons and daughters. That is our identity. He has taken full responsibility as our Father and given us His Son, Jesus Christ, to fill these places, heal these places, anoint these places. And so, yeah, I'm, I'm, when I'm with my nephew and leaning into the remedy that we have in Jesus Christ, and in and through the cross, as we, yeah, as we look at this adventure of healing in our own lives, whatever that might look like, big and small. Wow.

I love that story, Sister. It's so powerful. Just the beautiful, most bold audacity of a child, you know? And to like, to so kind of clutch to Jesus, who is cross and resurrection for the sake of our healing, you know? Like, "Come and help me. I need you." You know, with all that courage of a child of God. You know, like you, like your sister, you know, held onto the tree, or like you, you know, looked up and asked for help. Like, I love that. And it makes me think of the story in scripture, and which I'm sure you're all aware of, who are listening, but the woman with the hemorrhage, right? Who, I just love it. And, you know, it's Mark 5, starting at 25. And, you know, it just says, "There was a woman who was in the area who had been afflicted with a hemorrhage for a dozen years. And she had received treatment at the hands of doctors of every sort and exhausted her savings in the process. Right? She had, she was had nothing left of her own resources, you know? But yet she got no relief. On the contrary, she only grew worse." You know? And then it says, "She heard about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and put her hand to his cloak." You know? And she said, "If I just touch his clothing, she thought, I shall get well." And immediately, it says in the gospel, "Her flow of blood dried up, and the feeling that she was cured of her affliction ran through her whole body." You know? That it says, you know, Jesus, conscious of this kind of world's around it, you know, says, "Who touched me? Who touched my clothing?" Right? And the disciples are like, "Come on, you know, how can you, how can you, you know, ask that? There's everybody, you know, touching you." But then she comes before him. And, and it says, "She fell in front of him and told him the whole truth." And he said to her, "I love this. Daughter, it is your faith that has cured you. Go in peace and be free of this illness." So just like you were saying, like, who are we? We're sons and daughters of the Father. And He heals her. But also part of that healing is restoring her to her identity as daughter. You know? And that's, it's, it's really a myth. But her, her courage to reach out like a child of God, you know? It, he, love that. You love that. And that's what He wants for all of us. It's so powerful.

It sounds like it's the gate. Yeah. In a sense, it's what it's what opened her to being set free, to receive the inheritance that she has as His beloved daughter. This healing, this restoration to her identity, actually brings her into the riches that we have in our Father. I think so. There's so many good words for us in scripture on this, Sister. Oh.

It makes me think of the Prodigal Son. Yeah. You know, that all he had to do was turn. It's like turning back to the Father. And as he turned back and started walking homeward, it's like scripture reveals to us this Father whose eyes are set on the horizon. He was waiting to see his son returning home. He ran towards him. A, you know, a man of dignity, a Father running towards his son who had essentially forsaken him. No, He is running to his son, restoring him fully and beyond, you know, killing the fatted calf, addressing him once again, his dignity, his his sonship. So outrageous.

Or even to bounce into ultimately looking at Christ's wounds. Yeah. I love what scripture has to say. Thomas, he really helps us out. I am so grateful for Thomas. The resurrection. And I think this is true too, especially as we're talking about healing. Sometimes we've lived with our woundedness for so long that that actually the hardest part is receiving the resurrection, the new life that God wants to bring. It's like going to the chiropractor. Everything gets readjusted. And it's like, "Ouch." And here Thomas is saying, "Wait a second. Christ died and He rose." Like, "I've got to see this. I need, I need flesh and blood here. I need to put my hands in the wounds." And what a good God, a merciful God, bends to meet Thomas in this. And again, in scripture, Jesus, the disciples find Jesus, the resurrected Christ, among them. And gee, what does He say? "Peace. Peace." This great word of peace. And Jesus says to Thomas, "Put your finger here and see my hands. And put out your hand and place it in my side. Do not be faithless, but believing." And Thomas responded, you know, "My Lord and my God." He knew he was looking at his Redeemer, his Savior, the Lord that he knew before, and now resurrected. And my favorite thing to ponder in this is Jesus wants our wounds to look like His. Like, I imagine as He speaks this word of peace, He's showing them His hands. He's showing them His side. And He's saying, "Listen, look. This is what I want to do with your wounds. I don't want your wounds to hurt you anymore. And I don't need to. I want your wounds to actually become places of new life." Mm-hmm. It's stunning. It's almost like, almost like a scandalous mercy in this sense, but that it's like He doesn't want to just heal us to heal our wounds in the way, like our natural body, you know, heals us. It's like He wants to, to break out of those wounds that He had, you know, been allowed. But He wants to bring a greater good than if it hadn't happened at all. So that our wounds, outrageous, right? Bring new life even to others, you know? But our look like His. It's really, it's, it's the craziness of His mercy, but it's real. That's true.

Well, I would encourage, I mean, Sister, think about, and as I'm sitting here, I'm thinking about, yeah, you know, the hardest times, the most challenging times, the places I thought, right, dead ends. Right? When I brought them to Christ, yeah, this gospel is true. Yeah. And I would encourage all those listening, think about this, you know, these places, wounds in your life, that you've turned over to Christ. And has He ever given you a reason not to trust Him? Mm-hmm. Has He ever disappointed you? As we, because look at what happens when you go in faith to Jesus, miracles happen. Yeah. Healing happens. Yeah. New life happens. Mm-hmm. And there's nothing He can't heal. There's nothing He can't heal. Nothing. You know, that we bring to Him. And He, He makes, you know, what looked like a dead end, it's just a gate, you know? An open door to a whole new, a whole new reality, you know? It's amazing. It's like, as Christians, we don't live in caves. It's always a tunnel. Mm-hmm.

I think too, as Christians, as beloved sons and daughters of God the Father, you know, to claim the gift we have in a Paschal mystery. Yeah. That, that if we cling to Christ, whatever passion we're suffering, whatever death we're suffering, if we cling to Christ, there will be a resurrection. And it is, it's radical faith. It's radical trust. But to not, kind of, don't give up. Don't give up. If you're in the passion and the death, cling to Christ. It will break, you know, into a new day and into what the Word of God promises us, with a life of Christ, promises us. And He wants to enter into those wounds and to rise there, you know, like He's, you know, died with us for us, but He wants to rise there, you know? And how do you know, how do we keep doing that? Well, things like, you know, the sacraments, the cross, confession, prayer, forgiveness, you know, because we'll talk about this in more in a different episode, but, but unforgiveness can really keep our wounds festering. And that's a huge, huge gateway to to healing. Is forgiveness. But, yeah, no, He wants to do it. He wants to be there.

Well, and here we are. We've got some, got some great things on the table about how, yeah, how do we break this? What does this actually even look like? Yeah. Right? In real time. It's a great question. Why? I think first, yeah, I think being totally real. Hmm. Number one, be totally real. And just to admit, I'm sick. You know? Um, I need help. I can't do it. I can't get out of this, this rut. I'm, this wound has has affected my whole life. Whatever it is, you know? There's some very deep wounds that we can carry, you know? You know, people am really, really deeply suffering from the wound of abortion, or infidelity, you know, or abuse, or pornography, whatever. It's some very, very deep wounds in our culture. And first to admit, I'm wounded here. Acknowledge it. And to acknowledge I need of God. You know? And it makes me think, actually, of Great Blessed Blessed Matt Talbot. Hmm. Who's just delightful. And I just found out, actually, his feast day is my baptismal day. Well, isn't that exciting? The great claim, the grace. I am, I'm so pleased. But yeah, so Blessed Matt Talbot was an Irishman. And came from a family where his, his brothers and his dad really struggled with look, with alcoholism. Mm-hmm. And he actually became alcoholic by the time he was 13 because they went to work at a wine, wine merchants place. And it was just really, kind of, done. Like he was, it was, he was an alcoholic. It kept going, you know, just would always be at pubs with his friends, all of that, you know, spent all his money on drinking, really deeply stuck, you know? And even, you know, stealing things to get money for alcohol, just really in a rough spot. And I won, one day he was kind of out of money and outside of a pub and hoping someone would like invite him in inside for a drink, you know? And no one did. And he just kind of like, that's something I guess I'm grace in a moment, but he was just like, fed up. And he went home to his mom and said, "Mama, I'm gonna take the pledge." You know, for the Irish, there's a pledge not to drink again. You know? And you take it, I think, for like segments of time, like three months, six months, and then forever, or whatever the segment is. But, but it changed his life, you know? Wow. And, and just that his acknowledgement, like being able to finally acknowledge, like, I, that moment of just realizing, like, I am sick. Yeah. I need help. I can't do this. And I definitely can't do it on my own, you know? I need, I need Christ, you know? And then, though, the Irish pledge was rooted in, you know, the Sacred Heart and Jesus. But it's to me, it's such a hopeful and wonderful story, you know? Someone suffering deeply from a deep wound and an addiction. Mm-hmm. Right? And being restored in Christ. And, and actually just following it. I mean, in love with Jesus. And he's now a blessed out of the church, you know? Blessed Matt Talbot, pray for us. The fruit of being real. The fruit of being real. What? And even as you speak, Sister, it's like, wow, praise be to God. And in that, I think a great way to say, gosh, where am I hurting? You know, is to ask yourself, and to pray, ask for the grace for the Holy Spirit to kind of stir up your desires. Where do you desire greater peace? Mm-hmm. Where do you desire deeper wholeness? Where do you desire reconciliation? You know, in a sense, even in a positive form, you know, where do I want greater freedom? As a way to allow the Lord to begin to come. I love this. It's like the stock market. It's a little bit of a different exchange program, though. So as I'm real, hey, here's my misery. Jesus, He gives me His love. Hey, Jesus, here's my pain. He anoints it with His Holy Spirit. Hey, Jesus, you know, here's my, here's my grief, you know, by sorrow. And again, He sends the Paraclete to to come. So being real. Mm-hmm. Being real. Step 1. Amen. It's important. You know, and, and just to add to that, just briefly, He's never deterred by us. Mm-hmm. Like, He's never put off by us or disgusted by us, you know? No matter how, you know, gritty our wounds or our sins, it's like, it's never too much for Him, ever. And He wants to go there. He wants to show us, like, He wants to be healer and Redeemer in that place, you know? And we never have to, you know, Adam and Eve, I think, were they turned away in shame, right? But it's turning our gaze back to the healer who sees us, you know? And, and desires to make us new. So how beautiful, Sister. Yeah. So step one, that was, yeah, be totally real. Okay.

Step two. Step two. You know, I'm thinking, step two is, "Go to the doctor." Yeah. It's not just because I have a nursing background. Um, but we got to bring it to the Divine Physician. And I think it is, even as you're beginning to talk about, um, you know, when we go to the doctor, can be a little awkward. You know, you gotta tell them a lot of stuff. You gotta fill out all these long sheets. And you know, you just get real. And you get, it's almost like transparent. Yeah. You let the doctor see. Yeah. And I think it's the same thing with the Divine Physician. You gotta go and almost live. He lives in exposition. His heart is exposed to us. The Blessed Sacrament. And the best way to find healing is to live in this mutual exposition. Mm-hmm. That I'm willing to reveal these places to Him. Or even telling the Divine Physician, "Hey, I'm having a hard time opening this place up. What do you want to do about that?" But telling Him everything. Telling Him, regardless of how you got it there. Telling Him. He's a person we can talk to Him, you know? Bring our wounds, what we're suffering with. And not only Jesus gets to judge. We don't get to judge ourselves. No matter how, no matter how you got there. Okay, fine. Let Him meet you right there. Right there. We admit, I can't heal myself. I've got another doctor. And, you know, I want to get the right diagnosis and treatment. It stings to be misdiagnosed. So we go for real. We're at the doctor's. And, yeah. And actually, I would, I would add to, a lot of times we can be wounded in relationship. Mm-hmm. And parallel, we need to be healed in relationship. And it's in this context of relationship, first and foremost, with God, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Divine Physician, we can find what we're looking for. And engage our relationship with the Father, which heals pretty much everything. Yeah. Yeah. When you're parked out right there, and the Father's love, it's a Father's love. It's the best. You can want for nothing. No. Yeah. It's all about receiving. Yeah. And in that, He speaks to us the truth of who we are, you know? That this wound, or this sin, this memory, is not who you are. Right? And this means, and this, I mean, this means wounds that we carry from others. This means ones that we carry from ourselves, you know? You know, sins that when we were struggling with, bringing it to Him, like the Sacrament of Confession, I think it's a great, the best image, almost, of the, the doctor's office in a way. And interesting too, I love it. Adoration. But it's really like, this is here's everything, you know? And, and to bring it to Him, you know? Real wounds, bring it to Him. Like you're saying, it's not too much, because He, He wants to heal it. He wants to go there. He wants to go there. Yeah.

You know, I brought a story with my Sister. Yeah. That I think really gives us a beautiful view at this. And it's with permission. One of the women that we had the great blessing of walking with in our Hope and Healing mission. So women who come to us seeking healing after that experience of abortion. She wrote her story. And she, she said, "You know, feel free to share it." And so I'd love to read it to you because it's, it's, um, whenever I do, it restores me and inspires me. Okay, here we go. So this was her story. And this is what she wrote. "After Mass one Sunday, they announced that they had an Advent drive and asked members of the parish to take a tag in order to give a gift to families that needed them. I picked up a couple of tags, bought the gifts, brought them to the church, and was told I was too late. I would have to try again next year." As I left, the woman mentioned it was organized by the Sisters of Life. Thinking I still had a chance, I went home and immediately looked them up online and began reading about all the different ways they serve. Then I saw 'Hope and Healing After Abortion'." And she goes on to say, "Clicking on that link changed my life." And she said, "As a result, she called and ended up coming on a day of prayer and healing with us, and then on retreat with us." And this is what she said about being on retreat. "Once I arrived at the retreat, I was greeted with such warmth and tenderness and felt like it was a place there was no judgment, only love. It was the first time I shared my secret with others, and I realized I wasn't alone. It was the beginning of my healing journey with the Lord, and it continues today." She said, "For 26 years, I lived a life in which I carried a great burden in my heart and lived in a place I thought protected me from having to face a terrifying truth. Then I committed a great sin against God and myself. The irony of it was that in reality, I had to face the truth to receive the truth that our Lord Jesus Christ, in all His mercy, forgives us even our greatest sins when we seek His forgiveness. Having an abortion is a regret that will never fade from me. But with God's great mercy and love, I'm able to root my life not in the regret, but in the beauty that is best described in Luke 7:47, when Jesus forgives the woman of many sins. She says, 'I love much because I am forgiven much.'" Yeah. What a powerful testimony. Her humility, her courage, her docility. It's like, I can feel the dewfall of God's mercy rest on my own heart as I, as I read about her story. I think it just, it illustrates so beautifully what God desires to do in each of our lives. Yeah. With whatever it is we're carrying. Yeah. And how tender He is, and how gentle He is. You know? And it kind of shatters the illusion that we have to fix ourselves sometimes. I think, "Oh, we're, you know, I'm broken. I have to fix myself. I have to figure it out." That's actually not true. I have to come to Him. And that's what I have to do. And, you know, and He'll do it. He wants to do it. You know? And He does. He comes. And He's, He's, He's there. And He's waiting. He's waiting for us. I'm so powerful, Sister. Yeah. And so true. You know, that's it.

Well, I think that brings us to the last point. So it's, be real, go to the doctor, and what do we do next? Live faith. You gotta live the faith. All right. What do we mean by that? What do we mean by that? I don't know. You wanna take a stab? Or you want to take it?

I think I may be to take a stab. Okay. Yeah. I think, um, this is kind of the way we live our lives in the sense of orienting our and our hearts and our souls toward the Lord in faith, posturing ourselves to the toward the Lord in faith. And kind of like we talked about, but before, but it's, it's stepping into into the world to what we've been entrusted to in our lives. And even into our, our past memories, our wounds, but with the trust of a child of God, like we talked about. Love it. And letting go. I'm making actually making a decision, a choice. And it's a choice that I think sometimes we need to renew, actually. Not sometimes, we need to renew every day. You know, to let go and let God. And to wait on Him, you know? And, and there's layers to healing, I think, too, in this. And living this faith, cuz it's a day-to-day thing. Every day, you know? It's kind of like the image of going up a mountain. When one priest had mentioned this image, and you're going up a mountain, or, you know, in a circle around the mountain, circling the mountain. And you get to the same place you were before, but you're in a different place. You're higher up, you know? It's like, "Okay, been here, but I'm in a different place." You know? And so that, it's that daily living of faith, giving God permission, running to like a child. But also being patient with ourselves, cuz healing takes time. It's time. There are layers. It takes time. Yeah.

Well, I think the journey blesses us. Mm-hmm. We can't do it all at once. I mean, the mystery and the beauty of our beings, it's one day at a time. So we got, it's only good. Yeah. Present moment. Yeah. Isn't that, doesn't Po in Kung Fu Panda say that's why we call it a gift? [Laughter] Shameless. But you know, actually, more than more than Po, the panda bear, I actually witnessed this powerfully recently, how we live faith in response to the ways we've been wounded or irreverenced or suffered. And it's, I had the great privilege of listening to a Benedictine monk. His name is Father Zachary Bukuvu. And he's from Buta, Burundi, which is a landlocked country in Africa. And it was the first time I heard his story. It absolutely blew me away. So in 1997, in recent history, this, the seminary in Buta, our Boo-ta, sorry, in Burundi, the country of Burundi, there was a seminary. And for a long time, this country has suffered, you know, great tension between, kind of, ethnic wars, so to speak, between the two tribes, the Tutsis and the Hutus. And this seminary was a real oasis of peace because the rector really tried to form the men in Christian unity. He said, "No, this is Christ. No division. Done. Divisions dissolve here. We are one mind and one heart in Christ." And he did this with great effect and truly miraculously because all of these kids were coming in from war-torn and deeply divided, you know, cultures and and families. So in 1997, these rebels, they really targeted the seminary. They were, they were upset that this was a great affront to the tension and the chaos that they were trying to drive with their own anger. And so these rebels came to the seminary early in the morning. And they went into one of the dormitories where 40 of these young seminarians were sleeping, and all under the age of 20. And they basically said, "Okay, Hutus to the right, and Tutsis to the left. They said, 'Separate.'" And the boys refused to separate. Wow. They refused. Wow. And I mean, these guys were carrying guns and machetes and very intimidating. Came in a great drove. And they yelled again, "Separate." These boys refused to separate. And again and again, until the, the leader of this rebel troop got very impatient and frustrated. And they did. They started to take these boys. 40 of them. 40 of them were martyred. And it's a, it's a, it's a terrible event. And yet, the fruit and the beauty that has flooded this place. And to hear this man, who, who was also there and was attacked, and he should have lost his life. And he said afterwards, it was so, he was walking. He went into the dormitory and was just, his heart was absolutely torn to see these boys. And they had all died and so gruesomely. And he said, "Another one of the seminarians came in, and he was, he was about to despair. He said, his heart was absolutely broken." And one of the boys, he said, "Father, we've won. We've won the victory. Like, we've lived the unity of Jesus Christ." And he said, "In that moment, it's like the resurrection, the dawn was born in his heart." And that he said, "Miracles happened." The families of all the boys that were lost, they decided, "We will bury them together." They were from the two tribes. We were burying them together. This place has become an international place of pilgrimage for people have come all over the world to to pray for the grace of forgiveness, to live violence that they have suffered, but choosing Jesus, choosing Christ, and the power that flows from His wounded side, and the resurrection that is promised, and into the life of Christ, that there is another way to live these things. There was a monastery built. And this Benedictine monk, he said, "We are there to finish the work that has been that was started by these martyrs. That this is going to be a presence of God." And this, there's been this overflow of life and grace forth from the heroic witness of these young men. And this is living faith. And it's a, in a sense, it's an intense example. And yet, I think we want to live there. If the faith they were living in the face of even our, what we might call the little cross, as we carry the burdens, we suffer each day, the daily martyrdom of life, to choose as they have chosen so deeply and heroically. That, yeah, Jesus cares. Whatever size the cross, He cares. And He wants to bring it to resurrection. Yeah.

That is such a powerful story, Sister. Mm-hmm. It is. Still, I mean, stunning and moving and heart-wrenching, you know? And, and just thinking of that, like, that wound, which I mean, it's such a grievous wound inflicted on these boys, but on the whole community, you know? And then, and then these, these people, the families, the rector, and what is their response? You know, letting Jesus into that wound so deeply that it's, you know, it's bringing new life. Wow. You know? But, and these boys are, I mean, martyrs for the faith. Larry's and their class has been open. So yeah, and they may be the first saints of this country, Burundi. Wow. Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah. It really is. And even it strikes me too, even the fact, like, that's what the devil tries to say to us, you know, when he comes into places of our woundedness, is "separate, separate from Jesus." We're telling you no. But Jesus will never, ever separate from us, you know? And, and living, living that unity with Him is, is healing, you know? And, and just thinking about that, I mean, that's a very extreme example of woundedness, you know? Most of us are here in, may be many of us are in countries that are safer, you know, in terms of that. But I think we all, you know, we all have woundedness, right? Yes. And the importance of living, living faith in those places, even like the day-to-day experience of living that, you know? And what is it, what is it to live that? To unify ourselves with Jesus in those places? You know? And I think a lot of it, I was thinking of a story, a very brief story of one of our priest friends. His brother had a very serious heart condition. And, yeah, very, very serious. And the doctors told him, as part of his recovery, his prescription was that he must be silent. He could not speak. So that his heart could be healed, you know? The power of that. The power of putting ourselves in situations like healing environments, you know? Silence. I'm turning off the TV, you know, taking away distractions, because the little things, actually, in our day-to-day life, help to, help to help Jesus to be able to enter and to heal our wounds. So I invite Him in. How beautiful. Assignments, you know? We're in, like, even, like the little things. It tells us we're worth it. That's healing, you know? How often our wounds come from being used. But like the, I remember one girl I knew, and really, that in a very difficult situation in her house was painfully broken. And just, you know, just really like dark. And everything about that house told her that she wasn't good. You know? And just being with her, walking with her, and saying, "Hey, let's let's repaint some rooms and get some new furniture for the kids." And it was like this, like, "I'm worth it. I'm worth it." And she'd have pitched in. And the kids are helping. It was like so exciting for them. And it was so healing. How powerful, you know, to go into that place of darkness and bring light, because she's worth it. And that's what Jesus wants to do, you know, for us. It's just so, did a little ways to step into that.

Oh, I love it. Just, just to summarize, Sister, I think you said it so beautifully in finding these and helping to create these environments, in even little ways that we can open our hearts to Christ. So a life of the sacraments, silence, prayer, the physical environment, being around people who love and reverence us. It's the little things, but it makes all, makes a big difference. Gosh, this has just been quite an adventure.

Well, and I think we love talking about it. And I think there's more to come. This is like a first installment.

Kirsten, I just keep talking about you. Good. Yeah. But I think I think what do you think before we go out, Sister? You have an encouragement, a challenge, a word? Yeah.

I think maybe to bring to Jesus in prayer and just ask Jesus, "What wounds do you want to heal in my life?" You know? And to really, to really open yourself to that. And and see what Jesus says. See what the Father says to you in that. Because I think He wants to, I think He wants to heal you, you know? Because I think a lot of times we can let our hurts define our identity, or even the identity of those who have hurt us. And we don't need to live like that. He wants to bring healing. So just ask Him, Jesus, like, where, maybe a better way to ask, Jesus, is where would you like to bring healing in my life?

It's beautiful, Sister. And that's what I would say is really beautiful. What about you?

Well, I'm gonna take rule number one. I'm gonna be real with everybody. When I look at my life, and I look particularly at these intersections where Jesus has wanted to come with His healing grace and power, my only regret, and my biggest regret in life, is that at these turns, I haven't trusted Him even more. Even more. And so I would encourage everyone to ask the grace to trust Him, especially where you're tempted most not to. And it might help. We have a beautiful prayer, I think, that you can find on our website. You can, you can find our website. It's called a Litany of Trust. And it can be such a gift, a grace, especially in this as we seek to let love heal us.

Well, gosh, Sister, you want to close us with a prayer?

I would be honored.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Jesus, thank you so much for your goodness, your grace, your mercy, your blessings. Jesus, we ask you to come right now and speak to us as you spoke to your disciples. Peace. Or that you give us peace in our hearts. Lord, help us to bring any places of woundedness to you, Jesus. We pray right now for all those in our life who have, who have wounded us. Lord, we pray for the grace to forgive them. We would pray for conversion where that's needed. And we ask you, Jesus, to just shine your light and to to breathe a newness in every place in our heart that is dark or alone. You'd be with us there, Jesus. We place ourselves, our needs, and intentions, and all the needs and intentions of those who are listening, in your heart, Jesus. And we, we know you, your heart has been wounded for us. And we ask, we ask you to be with us, to heal us. And we give you glory in full confidence as we pray. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

It's good to be with you, Sister. And with you, Sister. God bless you. God bless you. See you next time.

This was Let Love podcast for the Sisters of Life, a religious community of women consecrated for the protection of the sacredness of human life. Be assured of our prayers and learn more at SistersOfLife.org.

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