If You Have Financial Anxiety, Please Watch This...

You're acting like this individual guy who's trying to save the whole planet, but by himself.

>> Yeah.

But what I want you to consider, which is such a leap for you, is that your life is curated, orchestrated precisely for what you need. So you can just lighten up and relax. You can't [ __ ] it up. Homework is don't do anything.

>> Yeah.

In 2010, I unfortunately saw one of my close friends jump off a cliff in front of me to end his life. For a while, I blame myself just thinking if I could have stopped that from happening. But the big problem that is happening in my life is finances. You know, I'm really struggling to get into that abundance state and really increase the wealth in my life. I've been watching so much of your stuff, so I I understand as well that that's the surface level, but of course um and I know that's available to me when some of the other stuff maybe blind spots or whatever is cleared up, but that is the area that I would like some assistance with.

>> For sure.

>> What would you say is one of your blind spots or one of your barriers to what you're calling abundance?

>> Yes. So why I've got this insane like internal like desire to change to to improve my life and I have in many regards but I feel like I'm pushing one foot on the accelerator and one foot on the brake. And I I procrastinate a lot. I avoid things a lot and I go through cycles of intense motivation and doing work. For example, with business and content, I might make videos every day for three months and then I'll just completely disconnect and I don't want to do anything. I just I kind of go through these cycles of a lot of energy and then I I just want to just chill out and like watch football or you know and then it kind of comes around again and I just feel like I keep repeating these cycles you know there's only only so many courses and books and different things you can take on marketing and practical stuff. There comes a time where like I need to look at myself like maybe there's a different problem here. So, um, and I definitely, you know, I've got just stuff from childhood and, you know, seeing one of my close friends commit suicide definitely was a turning point in my life. So.

>> Yeah, I remember that from your video. I'm sorry you went through that. Um, okay. Well, there's no lack of intelligence here, right? So, you're not um struggling there and it's sort of making that connection between conscious awareness and physical embodiment. So, what would you say from your past that you're aware of? Obviously, we can talk about your friend who took his life at some point, but let's go back further.

>> What were some of the patterns, habits that you developed, do you think from, you know, being young and whatever you saw growing up or what have you heard as well?

>> Yeah. So, when I was a kid, um, I'm the middle one. I've got two brothers. Um, and I mean, I I admit I was a I was a big mommy's boy when I was a kid. I was very attached to my mom and.

>> You know I even remember my first day in school I can have the image in my mind of looking out the window when my mom took me to school and I'm just balling my eyes out and there was this there was this really strong attachment to my mom.

>> And my dad was very absent. He spent a lot of the time in the pub and I remember him coming home late. Um, we would be sat down on the TV watching uh, sorry, sat down on on the sofa watching TV together as a family and I'd always have that kind of fear or uncertainty of.

>> How my dad was going to be when he came in or how much he'd had to drink.

>> There was never any like physical violence or anything like that, but I remember feeling that uncertainty.

>> Um, and I I really didn't like that feeling.

>> So, those are some of the main things I can think of. Um, I haven't seen or spoken to my dad in probably 15 years. Um.

>> But I don't at least like I don't feel anything towards that like I I I wish him well now and I don't have any regrets about my childhood but maybe the subconscious stuff there but one thing I would say is I said to my friend when he passed not to my friend but I said to myself I'm going to make the most of my life and live your life as well and because I was there when it happened and I I felt like you know I couldn't stop this.

>> Um and at the same time for my mom as well. I just I've had this desire like I really want to make enough money so that I can uh basically give my mom an amazing retirement. She's in her 70s now and I just feel like maybe it's just too much pressure on myself, you know, too much weight to carry and then my own dreams as well. So I think that's like an overview. Um.

>> Yeah. Are you um in a relationship now? Romantic relationship.

>> Yes, I am. Um just uh three years. Three years. Yeah. And it's it's been the best and healthiest relationship I've had. So I'm really grateful for that. Yeah.

>> Amazing. Amazing. Okay. So with your friend was this this was back home in Cornwall when you're on the cliff somewhere.

>> Correct. Yeah.

>> And this was a friend from growing up from school from both.

>> Yeah. So I we met a bit later on. So he was in um he was a few years younger than me and we were kind of college university time. You know, back then I was I was just a youngster in England having fun on the weekends, drinking a lot, partying. Had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.

>> Um, probably not really happy to be honest, but just going, you know, going along as most youngsters do, trying to find their way in the world.

>> Yeah. How old were you at the time?

>> So, I was 22. So, it was uh 2010, I think it was now. Yeah.

>> Okay. Um, and so I'm from a really beautiful place in Cornwall, like a in a in a fishing village. There's beautiful clifftops, fields, ocean, you know. Um, and they had this party there. It was like an event in a in a marquee and.

>> I was walking along with a friend and I saw I saw my friend, his name is Matt. He was sort of fighting some guy. He was on his back and I was a little bit drunk. So I kind of found it.

>> At first I thought he was kind of comical.

>> Amusing.

>> But then he basically got kicked out by the security and I could see he was upset and I think he'd recently broken up with his girlfriend. I knew he wasn't like in the best head space.

>> But I didn't really know much more than that.

>> Um, and then my instinct was I I've got to go out after him to make sure he's okay. And there was another guy that did as well. And then he turned around and saw us and then he started running. So, I started running, bearing in mind, you know, I'd had a few ciders or something.

>> Um.

>> Um.

>> He he was, you know, pretty determined. He went through some brambled bushes, got to the edge of a cliff, and I'm kind of stumbling over. I'm trying to be careful. I don't want to fall off myself. He just like, don't come any closer.

>> Um, and my memory.

>> Was the other was the other guy there, too, or was it just you?

>> Yeah, he was he was slightly over the shoulder. Um, yeah.

>> So, he must have seen a similar thing. Yeah. Um, and.

>> We had we were back and forth a little bit and he was, you know, balling his eyes out and I I was telling him, you know, it's okay. Like, come down. Everything's going to be all right. Let's let's talk. I can't remember the exact conversation at the time, to be honest.

>> And my head space at that time, like I I had no idea what was going to happen. You know, I really didn't think that was a possibility.

>> And he just.

>> Basically shared his last message with me and said, "Paul, I love you. It's not your fault. Tell my friends and family it's not their fault. I can't go on anymore." And then it was it was like being it's so hard to describe. I just looked into into the air and he wasn't there. And I and I was it's like I time froze and I just felt like did this is this real? It it was almost like a movie. It's really hard to explain.

>> Yeah. Um, and then the next thing I know, I'm on my phone, you know, calling 999 and um, yeah, he he he did survive the fall, but no no expectancy of life, you know, he severe head injuries and.

>> Yeah.

>> They basically waited the next day for his dad to arrive from up uh, up north somewhere in England and then they turned off the life support and uh, yeah, that was that was a really challenging thing to experience.

>> No, I'm sorry you had to see that and witness that. And I can as best as possible be there with you obviously not actually literally but energetically and what that must have felt like especially for someone as sensitive as you and um I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Um did you have any support after that? Did you speak to a therapist? Did you get together with the other friend there with you and talk it through?

>> I mean I had lots of friends and firstly thank you. I appreciate that and I acknowledge you for listening and and thank you for listening to me. Um I I had friends around me and you know we had a big friend group which was good and some of the positives if you can take positives from that were that it brought a lot of people together. Um but with regards to therapy I didn't um a lot of people said to me at the time you you know you should probably go and speak to someone.

>> Um, and I remember thinking at the time, this must be my way of I I said to myself, I must just be really like strong in my mind or something.

>> Um.

>> And clearly I must have been just probably suppressing a lot of it.

>> Um.

>> But.

>> And it there was, you know, there was an ongoing thing for a while. We had to go to court a few years later and just, you know, eventually they didn't put it down to suicide. um he did jump but because he was under the influence and in a you know they they think that maybe he might not have made that decision but anyway.

>> Um I didn't speak to anyone um and so I think that's been at the back of my mind a little bit just with where I'm at now like just more out of curiosity wondering oh maybe there's something that I bottled up then which I I'm unaware of now because I pushed it down but.

>> Um even at the funeral. Um, I I couldn't cry in front of people and I had that that feeling in my throat, you know, that heaviness.

>> And then when I was on my own, I would I would cry. But I think that's just part of the.

>> The message that a lot of men get when we're younger, like, you know, it's don't cry in front of people or something. So.

>> Yeah.

>> And um, so yeah, I never spoke to anyone about that. Um well I spoke to a lot of friends about it and you know sure at the time going out drinking and just talking through it and stuff but I didn't have like professional help with it.

>> No. Okay. So if you were to look at it now in hindsight um you know 15 years later what would you say was one of the one or two of the key takeaways? Either good nor bad you know it doesn't really matter. But what how did that sort of mold or shape the way that you view yourself and life? I know you said to a certain degree you've put pressure on yourself. You want to live a double life to include Matt as well, but.

>> Yeah.

>> What what what would you say looking back that you took from that experience?

>> I remember like I mean for this thing I feel quite proud of it because I feel like I could have gone down a really different path and.

>> Um someone introduced me to the book the secret of the time which I know gets a lot of you know bad stick from uh some of things but actually that really helped me at the time and then it opened my eyes up to you know different teachers Abraham Hicks or Bob Proctor and I you know I I went down the path of self-improvement And in a short space of time, I was my mind was like, I'm I'm gonna change my life now. And and it was like a shift I had. So that was definitely.

>> A powerful.

>> Thing for me.

>> Um I think also it it revealed to me how short and precious life is. It just.

>> The constant thoughts around, wow, he was here and now he's not here. I'm never going to see him again in in this physical lifetime, you know.

>> Yeah. So it's really a reminder of how like precious life is the feeling of not wanting to waste.

>> Time and that stuff.

>> Yeah. Beautiful. And yet you know being honest with yourself as you mentioned that you can occasionally procrastinate like the best of us and all humans. So can you see maybe that when you have this sense of life is precious and it's so short and fragile and then at the same time you occasionally procrastinate, do you occasionally beat yourself up for that or put some pressure on yourself?

>> I mean, it happens quite a lot to be honest.

>> Um.

>> Yeah, I get it. Yeah, that's why I just wanted to bring it up.

>> Okay. So there's a couple of things that come to mind as you've obviously heard from whatever the courses you've done in freedom or podcasts I've been on, I sort of look at these subconscious prisons, right? So you've alluded to a couple of them based on what you can ascertain from your own childhood, but what would you say uh one or two of the primal prisons that you know might be holding you back that would definitely influence uh finances and abundance?

>> I think I one I mean I I don't I know you I think you said you had like 10 prisons and I don't know if I've uh heard them all and maybe that's for the book which I'll look forward to.

>> Yeah.

>> But um.

>> I think um one of them there's definitely some of the not enoughness there.

>> On a deep level. I think.

>> There's something along the lines of it's my fault.

>> Yes. Yeah. The like that. I think that's definitely true, especially when I blamed myself when it happened, which is pretty ridiculous because it's it's not my fault, but that was kind of the the message I was.

>> Um and then I think another thing which I didn't mention um which could potentially be related to you know transitioning into the next phase of business and stuff is.

>> I with the avoidance like I really conflict is a big thing for me.

>> So like the idea of a customer or client being dissatisfied or someone wanting to argue like.

>> I I hate that feeling. And so.

>> Um.

>> Um.

>> There might be something in that sense as well.

>> Um.

>> Yeah.

>> But I do I think like the it's my fault thing rings rings true or like I've done something wrong or like if I do something I could do something wrong so maybe I should just stay silent or or not do too much.

>> Um may maybe there's something else there, but that's that's probably just my own reflection of what I would anticipate.

>> Yeah. Very very astute, you know, and again where I just recognize your intelligence which would actually ironically make you or not so ironically a good coach and the stuff that you want to perhaps transition into from your personal training. So I would say yes in that bed fellows of it's my fault. um the I'm not enough or the fear of conflict that you know you might do something wrong.

>> It there all associated. And what I want you to consider is the way that I hear it for you energetically is it's all up to you, right? So, it's a little different than it's my fault. That's the aftermath, right? So, if you look at it very subtle in terms of a cascade, right? It's my fault or I did something wrong and therefore I'm in trouble with a customer or client. That's all predicated with the the story that it's it's all up to you in the first place.

>> Right.

>> Okay. Very subtle, but again, I'm appealing to your intelligence. So, can you feel that in your body that it's it's all up to Paul, right? Like whatever it is, fill in the blank. Like it was up to you to save Matt. It's up to you to take care of your mom. It's up to you to not procrastinate. It's up to you to make more money. It's up to you to transition into coaching.

>> 100%. Yeah. It's it's like a a weight that I'm carrying around which could potentially be why I go through phases of motivation and then I burn out and I just I need a break from this.

>> Yeah. And you can get rid of the could. Right. So that's that is why you go through phases. Right. So so the thing that I want you to presence which you just did is the heaviness the weight of the idea this sense of it's not responsibility that's powerful. It's responsibility that is ownorous. Right. It's the there's two ways of looking at responsibility and we're going to discern between the two so that you can shift out of this. You have responsibility that's associated with fault, guilt and shame, right?

>> Yeah.

>> Whereas my responsibility is associated with power and sovereignty and freedom and individuality. Right? Like that I'm responsible for my life as a choice, not as a as a sort of a sentence, right? Like like a prison sentence. So the one you're living in is very confining and there's the weight which is also why you have some of that avoidant slash procrastination energy right? So just for a minute for your own sense of presence if you live in the world of where it's absolutely it's up to Paul like to for anything to happen you know and I know it's not all of life but that's how it's going to feel h how does that feel apart from the weight what else what else are you present to if you're really looking through the lens of it's all up to me how does that impact you.

>> It feels very stressful.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. I'm not sure what other emotions would be present with that.

>> Well, let's look at if it's all up to you and things don't happen, then how do you feel?

>> Like I failed.

>> Yeah. So, failure, frustration, there could be the guilt and the shame.

>> Disappointment in yourself, judgment.

>> Yeah. Definitely some self judgment. Yeah. Being myself up. Yeah.

>> Yeah. You can start to see, wow, that that's the world that you traffic in, the world that you communicate from, the world that you live in. But the onus and the the heaviness that comes with that is going to be part of the procrastination, the guilt, the shame, the lethargy, the apathy, the pointlessness. And you know, even though I know you didn't really dip your toe into it, but back in the day when you weren't necessarily suicidal like your friend, but that would be an extension of that world, right? It becomes so heavy after a while. It's like, well, what's the [ __ ] point of living? Like, you know, I'm doing the best I can. I'm a good guy, but I'm not getting the results I want. The the the brain and the ego is just going to quit at some point.

>> Can you see that?

>> Yeah.

>> So, awesome. So, that's the number one or one of them. Uh, you know, and I think there's another one that really is combined. It's correlated, but it's also part of the avoidant energy. So, this goes back to you sitting on the couch watching TV with your mom, not knowing what kind of dad you were going to get who came home from the pub. So, what was that boy's experience in that space? Right. You obviously said you were scared, you didn't know, but but what might be the way that you relate to the future uh that had all of this potential fear associated with it?

>> Um, I think it was it was definitely, yeah, like a a a scary kind of feeling.

>> Um.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And I think that's probably why I took on the role of being the quiet one. And and you know, just that was my survival strategy, I think, in that situation.

>> Yeah. Um, which potentially as we talk about the future could mean that's why I struggle to show up consistently because I just, you know, sometimes I've said I just want to like have a business where I can have a private life and then I've got this other side of me from my experiences where I have a big desire to help people and it's like this this kind of battle between the two.

>> Yeah. That's the break on the you know they break the accelerator at the sim, you know, simultaneously. Right. Yeah. Awesome. So it's very scary. So especially if you presence the energy of that little boy, there's this sort of impending potential doom. Don't know what dad's going to be like. Is he going to be fun drunk? Is he going to be angry drunk? Is he going to be scary drunk? Either way, the way that your brain has become associated with what's about to happen is based predominantly in fear.

>> Yeah.

>> Right. From that age. So then if you're related to the future from a perspective of fear, what could you sort of summize from that and the way that you would approach the future? How what's your relationship to the future if the way that you're feeling about it is scared?

>> It's avoidance. Like avoid.

>> Right. Yeah.

>> So now if you look at that, so avoidance as a little boy meant the way that you coped and strategized was let's be quiet. I want to make sure that I don't stand out.

>> Yeah.

>> And then yet here you are wanting to take care of your mom, wanting to live a legacy for Matt, wanting to take care of your girlfriend, obviously wanting to fulfill on your own dreams, but the energy that you have is avoidant. Don't stand out. And if anything, be quiet.

>> Yeah.

>> But you're in an industry where you actually want to help people, right? So you start to see the conflict and the the paradox, the contradiction that your energy is versus your aspiration is.

>> Yeah. Absolutely.

>> Yeah. Which itself adds to more frustration. Right. That's the break and the accelerator again.

>> Yeah.

>> So, what I want you to consider is that if the way that your brain, and I'm going to assert is currently wired is that your relationship to the future is a predominantly fear-based one, then there's no motivation or drive to pursue the future.

>> That's just basic logic, right? If my future is filled with potentially worst case scenarios, fear and at some maybe extreme level your own existence, your own survival, right? Cuz that little boy, you know, he's not thinking rashly, he doesn't think, well, dad's just drunk. He's probably going to D. But from the perspective of of a being who's young, it's pure survival, right? Like you don't know if you're going to see the next day if dad's in a really bad state.

>> Right.

>> Right. So, I want you to recognize the combination and going back to the first one, it's all up to you.

>> Right? But the way that you're related to life and especially forward motion is it's like you're stuck in quicksand.

>> Right? If you get that image of here you are in quicksand or concrete, you know, maybe it's still slightly soft concrete, but you can't move, but you want something and it's up to you to get it, but you're so scared to move forward. That leaves you in this space of sort of basically stagnation.

>> Yeah, that that's that's basically how I feel like I've been for the past I don't know six years or something like that.

>> Yeah. And that's probably being generous. It may have been exaggerated during those six years, but I'm going to guess it's been there probably for like 30 plus years, right?

>> Yeah.

>> Which is fine. So, this is your opportunity as a soul in this incarnation to get past this, right? So, looking through those prisons, you can now see, okay, if it's all up to me, then there's an immense amount of fear, pressure, concern that you might do something wrong, you might upset someone, and it's going to be your fault. So the again this uh overload of responsibility that's dysfunctional and disempowering combined with well, it's all up to me and in order for anything to happen I have to do [ __ ] but I don't want to do [ __ ] because if I move forward energetically into life that's sort of littered with potential worst case scenarios uh that have me scared and feeling fear. So you start to see the world that you you traffic in, that you function in.

>> Yeah. So I mean that that's kind of I think articulates why I feel like I go around in circles because there's this this part of me that wants the growth that wants the the transformation that wants the changes.

>> And then there's this fear that's that's just pulling me back.

>> Yes. Absolutely. So this is where we have to start with awareness so you can at least see it presently and go wow this is literally my life. This is the life that Paul lives, right?

>> Yeah.

>> Even with his intelligence, even with his big heart, even with his experience, even with his desire to make a difference, you are at a subconscious level imprisoned and sort of frozen in your ability to express yourself. Even at the funeral, like you said, like you can't express the tears or the anger or the frustration.

>> Yeah. So, so perfect. So the way I want you to consider so what are you saying about the future if it's littered with worst case scenarios you're scared what is what is the underlying way that you're relating to the future in terms of yourself like if you you know you know my terminology is like I'm not something like what what would you say about the future as it relates to Paul like I'm not what in the future.

>> Um based on uh the the perspective of that fear, I would say I'm not um I'm not successful.

>> Yeah. Which is a present state, right? So I'm not successful. So it's going to be in future language.

>> Okay.

>> So you're trying to avoid something. If you're trying to avoid something, it's cuz you feel that you're not what?

>> I'm not capable.

>> Yeah, that's part of it for sure. That's how it leaves you feeling. But that's present, right? If I'm not capable when, well, I'm not capable now. But in language, I'm not going because it's future based.

>> Yeah. So, I'm not I'm not going to be successful. I'm not going to achieve my goals.

>> Yeah. Perfect. It's in that realm, right? So, feel that. So, think about that. This isn't a conscious thought. Your conscious thought is I want to help people. I want to make a difference. I want to take care of my mom. I want to take care of my girlfriend. I want to leave a legacy for Matt. But the way that you relate to life is that I'm not going to be successful. I'm not. So, what's the point? Do you see?

>> So that's the tug of war where that's what you you want to do something, but the way that you relate to your future is it's not going to happen anyway. So it all starts to become completely futile.

>> Which is why you could feel apathetic and lethargic and avoidant.

>> It's interesting because I feel like I've done so much like you know work on and self maybe too much. Sometimes you can do too much. But like I I genuinely believe like so much is possible like for.

>> But but maybe even that thought.

>> Is more of a general thought than to my own experience.

>> So you you got to understand the difference between your intellect and your conscious understanding of life and listening to my stuff pure possibility. First is your body and your subconscious which is stagnant and it doesn't want to move forward because of fear and apathy cuz well it's not going to work anyway. I'm not going to be successful.

>> So the way that I phrase it in terms of one of these prisons is that you're not going to be okay.

[Music]

>> It's a little bit more of a catch all, right? It's not so much around the arena of success or finance, but just generally Paul's not going to be okay. Because that's that little boy's experience. It's not logical. It's just he's scared. And so what he's saying is, I don't know how my dad's going to come home and that means that my survival is at stake, which is I'm not going to be okay. Whatever happens, it's not that you're going to die, but it's not like, oh, I'm going to be awesome and everything's going to be amazing. That's not the way you're relating to the future.

>> Yeah.

>> Do you see? You would have a different way of moving through life with a different sense of motivation and self discipline which would be excited about where you're going versus this more sort of apathetic lethargic and heavy way of trying to like walk through molasses or maple syrup or quick sand where you're like ah yeah I'm I want to get there but energetically the way you're relating to the future is it's not desirable so why the hell would I move forward.

>> Can you see that? So, I want you to really understand these two worlds, right? It's up to you,

>> Which is filled with and littered with a massive amount of potential guilt and shame and failure combined with you're not going to be okay anyway. So, can you start to feel in your body where that's what creates all of that density and that gravity both energetically, psychologically, and emotionally?

>> Maybe this is like, you know, go back to my friend and when I was unable to express emotion, I feel like I I sometimes struggle with the the feeling of what you're sharing now.

>> Yeah. Yeah. That's okay. That's okay. But you could obviously earlier you sense the heaviness, the weight of that like it's all up to you.

>> Yeah. I felt I could feel that. Yeah.

>> Yeah. So that's the weight of it's up to you. And then you can feel the avoidant energy which is the term you've used as it relates to a future that's not desirable where you're not going to be okay. Right. You can feel that.

>> Yeah.

>> So you think about it. You've got the weight of thinking it's all entirely up to you with the potential guilt and shame of being a failure and not fulfilling combined with the avoidant energy which is really the reflection the reaction to a future that you're scared of. What if I don't make it, become successful, make enough money, take care of my mom, whatever. That that combination is a death sentence.

>> Yeah. Even in the face of all of your will and your aspiration and your inspiration and all the beautiful intentions you have, you know, it's it's it's going to fall short because the biggest weight, the sort of the the mass of the iceberg under the water is the heaviness and the feeling of guilt and shame and dysfunctional responsibility combined with the anticipation of an unfulfilled future.

>> Right. So, let's go. So, let's go through the exercises. So, you know, if I were to cut Paul open, am I going to find a physical manufacturing label inside of you that says Paul born in England, born in I don't know if you're born in Cornwall, but born in England? You know, it's all up to him. Am I going to find that physical manufacturing label inside of you?

>> No.

>> I'm not. Right. Okay. So, it's not part of your hardware. If someone knew how to read DNA, part of your physical sort of DNA and chromosomes in a cell, they could explain your eye colors and your body type. So, this isn't part of that. So, where does the I'm not going to be okay live? Where does that because it is part of your reality?

>> Yeah, I'm not going to be okay.

>> Where is that? Where are we going to find that?

>> I think in my chest.

>> Okay, that's where the sensation is located, which makes sense, right? Because that's where there's the life force of how you breathe, right? Like, you know, so there's a heaviness which tends to suffocate us a bit. So, I'm not going to, you know, it's up to me is going to feel, as you said, weighty, right? So, if you're wearing a lot of weight on your body, you wouldn't be able to breathe so easily, which is the absence of expansion.

>> You know, inspiration to be able to inspire, which is also receiving. So in the world of it's all up to me there is that constraint. So that's where it feels. But where is the language? It's all up to me. Where does that live?

>> Where the words live?

>> Uh in my head.

>> Yeah. In your head. Right. I want you to consider that in your head points to where you've become misidentified with your personality or your ego or your identity, whatever word. So that it's the Paul that you are for yourself. You don't walk around saying it's all up to me. It's just it's so up to you that that's just how you live.

>> Yeah.

>> Right. It's not even a belief. It's just the way life is. It Well, duh. It's all up to me. So when you look through that lens of it's all up to me as though it is you, we get the world of heaviness and apathy and a sense of potential failure and the overall sort of gravity of well it could be your fault if you [ __ ] it up. Right?

>> So if it's in your head and I'm going to say more accurately it's in the space that is your mind and it's made up of words. It's up to me. Like it's literally sound, right? So if it's just words and it's just in your mind, is it a truth that who Paul is is that it's up to you? Is is that really who you are?

>> No, it's not.

>> It's not, is it?

>> No.

>> So I want you to consider it's the way that you relate to yourself and hence life. It's not you. It's a very deeply entrenched program that you've become misidentified with. Yes.

>> So, just off the top of your head, if it's all up to you, what doesn't that what what does that not allow for?

>> It does. I mean, I would say the first word is is kind of your work freedom.

>> Yeah. Definitely doesn't allow for freedom, right? Cuz whether you realize it or not, 24/7 you're constantly working because it's all up to you. Even if you're sleeping, your brain is working trying to figure stuff out. What? Perfect. So, it doesn't allow for freedom. What else does it not allow for? If it's all up to you, the whole of your life is up to you. What does that not allow for?

>> Life itself.

>> Yeah. Only life itself, right? Not a big deal. You're only denying life itself. So in this case, denying life itself, what does that represent?

>> Possibility.

>> Yeah. Think about it this way energetically. If it's all up to you, which way is the flow? It.

>> There's a lot of resistance there. It's it's uh I'm I'm going against the grain or I'm going against you know fine upstream.

>> Totally. Because if it's up to you, it's all from me out.

>> Yeah.

>> Right. It's all It's all up It's from Paul out. It's up to me. So what now if you look at it that way visually, what does that deny?

>> Denies me to receive things.

>> Bingo. Yeah.

>> And really get that. This is why it was so hard for you to see this because you've lived for 30 plus years in the absence of receiving.

>> Yeah.

>> But really get that, mate, because this is a massive blind spot.

>> Yes.

>> You're you're acting like a silo, like this individual guy who's trying to [ __ ] save the whole planet, but by himself.

>> Yeah.

>> It's insanity. Even as you're saying that, I have a voice in my head saying, "But it is up to me, isn't it?" Well, of course, it's been there for 3 [ __ ] five years. You know.

>> Right? Yeah. So, that it's going to it's not going to want to go away. This is the biggest um obstacle of real freedom is transcending a voice that has defined you for so long. I hope you're enjoying this conversation and even moved by it. And perhaps part of you would love to learn more, to go deeper and really understand the mechanics of the mind, whether it's to help yourself or others you care about. What would it mean to you to be able to break free from the subconscious limitations that hold you back and help others to do the same? If that's something you'd love to be able to do and to discover with it a new world of freedom and possibility, then I invite you to check out my mastermind with over 30 hours of theory and coaching led by me personally. It's my most powerful and life-changing offering. You can find out more information at peterone.commastermind. Okay, and back to the conversation.

>> The it's up to me. Um, also for me means like I'm I'm responsible for like doing taking the actions to change results in my life. That's kind of how I see it as well. But obviously from how you're showing it, I think it's much deeper than that. So.

>> Much deeper. So yes, I'm not denying that as individuals it's incumbent upon us to have thoughts, feelings, and actions that then lead to some sort of result.

>> Yeah.

>> But are you separate from the whole of life?

>> No.

>> No. Okay. How did you meet your girlfriend?

>> I I love how I met my girlfriend because I was uh getting frustrated on the dating apps for so long and then uh actually one of your I think one of your mastermind students is a RTT therapist. So I did a session with her and then.

>> Uh we we met organically about a month or so later and the funny thing is I didn't change anything I guess just something had shifted in my perspective or my energy um but there was no no different techniques or anything you know.

>> Where did you meet a grocery store? A party a friend's house like.

>> So we have Thanksgiving which has just been this this weekend actually and then we met three years ago at a friend's giving.

>> Okay. So she was a friend of the friend that you went to too.

>> Correct? Yeah.

>> And you didn't know her before that?

>> No.

>> Okay. So now just look at that. So was it up to you to make that happen?

>> No, that was just life happening for me.

>> Oh, okay. Yeah. There you go. Oops. Yeah. So do you see? So when you look through the lens of it's up to you, it's amazing that even something like that happen because even as much as we hold on to the prisons and our constraints and our limitations, life isn't going to let us stay there. So it gave you one example at least and there's probably going to be others that you can recall when you start to feel into this, but you have shut down, not through your own conscious choice. It's not your fault, but you've shut down the energy of receiving, which I could also call contribution. Yeah.

>> It will, if you really look at it, it will be very difficult for Paul to receive compliments. It will be very difficult for you to receive opportunities. It will be very difficult for you to receive just cash out of nowhere because it's all up to you. Can you see the conflict between you saying you want to have abundance, but it's all up to you? Yet life, let's put it this way, the whole universe, which is last count 18 plus b billion light years wide, pretty big.

>> You know, with everything that's out there. Is that more abundant or is Paul more abundant?

>> The universe?

>> But it's all up to you. Do you see how asinine it is?

>> Yeah.

>> You're swimming in abundance. that is constantly I assert trying to contribute to you in ways that you can't calculate like this Thanksgiving where this girl that ends up being someone you love and is your girlfriend shows up out of nowhere is life contributing to you because you're in a space for whatever reason at that moment you become so disenchanted with the dating apps which is Paul got out of his own way for a minute gave up because he was the one trying to make it work and in your giving up you actually opened and life was able to contribute to you for a Second, do you see that?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> So to go to go back to my question, one of the things that you are denying is life contributing to you and life is abundance. You told me in your video and at the beginning of this conversation, you know, you want to be financially more successful. You want abundance.

>> Yeah.

>> But I want you to be responsible for not fault, but powerfully understand the way you relate to life is it's all up to you. So life around you everywhere you go 24/7 is abundance trying to give to you. But the way you relate to it is no. No, it's all up to me. Don't worry about me. I'll take care of it.

>> So then you wonder why you're not abundant.

>> Yeah.

>> Abundance is knocking on your door energetically, but for you, unless it's something that you do, you don't see it.

>> Yeah, that's I think that's it. I feel like I, you know, I feel like I'm always working. Even when I'm not working, my mind is thinking about how to do something else.

>> Which is exactly what I just said about 10 minutes ago that even when you're sleeping, your brain will be working on how to figure [ __ ] out.

>> Yeah.

>> But that's the world where you think it's all up to you. Where just through my first example, how did you meet your girlfriend? Prove to you it can't be up to you cuz you could never have calculated, oh, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to quit dating apps. And then in about a month, I'm going to go to a friend's Thanksgiving and what I'm going to do is I'm going to attract a girl that I've never met before who I'm going to be attracted to. You start to see how preposterous that is.

>> Yeah.

>> Right.

>> Yeah. It's pretty funny, actually.

>> It is. It's a [ __ ] joke.

>> Yeah. So, this is where you get to pull your head out of your ass, as we say back in the UK, and realize that you really don't have much say in life other than the degree to which you can stop it coming to you.

>> Then, you're surrounded. You're literally in the middle of an abundant universe. And through no fault of your own, so there's no guilt, but just notice what you're doing is like blocking it flowing to you.

>> Yeah, that that's what I felt like. I felt there must be some kind of blocks that I'm just not seeing because I don't know how many more things I need to do or how many courses I need to take or how much more knowledge I need to gain. It's like.

>> You know what I mean? It's just.

>> Do I know what you mean? I'm I'm the one helping you see it.

>> Absolutely.

>> I know. It's uh Yeah, it's uh it's pretty ridiculous.

>> It is ridiculous. So in the absence. Okay. So we said.

There's no manufacturing label that says it's up to me. It's in your head. What form? In words. So if it's only in words in your head, is it true? No. Okay. So Paul, in the absence of it's up to you, and this might feel scary for a minute, 'cause this is all you've known. You can't relate to life like it's all up to you. That's gone. In fact, it's the opposite. You're like, "No, none of this shit's up to me. I'm part of life and life is just always trying to give to me." So you can't relate to life like it's all up to you. How might you feel walking around?

>> I think like my first thoughts were pretty anxious 'cause it feels scary.

>> That's what I just said. Yeah.

>> Yeah. That's the, that's the, that's the residual self trying to hold on. You don't know any other way to live. So this is why it takes a leap of faith, right? So it's not up to you. Life is not up to you. Now, you, you co-create. Yeah, you do your part, but it's a very small part relative to what life is doing.

>> Like, look at it like energetically, uh, from a physiological perspective, right? You, you've studied obviously anatomy, biochemistry. So, did you eat something today?

>> Um, I ate some Korean food. It was, I had some soup, a little bit of rice, and a little bit of kimchi and an egg.

>> Okay, great. So, after you ate it, did you sit to one side and say, "Okay, I can't talk to you right now, girlfriend, because I, it's up to me to digest my food, too."

>> [Laughter]

>> It's stupid, isn't it?

>> Yeah. I think I'd check myself into a mental hospital if I started saying that.

>> Well, you're not far from it.

>> Right? Yeah. So, you didn't do that. Okay. So, so you're okay with digestion happening without you.

>> Yeah.

>> Okay. So, you let that go, but you say, "Okay, I'm going to sit down for a minute and I'm just [ __ ] I forgot to keep squeezing my heart so that I can circulate my blood."

>> Did, did you?

>> No, you didn't do that either. Okay. Did you do the oxygen and carbon dioxide transfer between your lungs and the blood vessels?

>> What?

>> No, you didn't do that. Okay. Okay. Did you have you been slowly pushing your nails out because of the cell replication so that they can become longer so that you'll clip them in a couple of weeks?

>> No.

>> No. You, there's not much you're really doing, is there really? If we break it down.

>> No.

>> Right.

>> I think consciously just making sure I don't get hit by traffic as I cross the road.

>> But yes. Well, you're definitely avoiding a lot, which is where you can start to be responsible for the fact that through the lens of it's up to you, what you're doing is denying that life is always trying to take care of you. From the oxygen you breathe to the carbon dioxide that you exhale, to the waste products that go through your kidneys and through your bowels to get rid of any toxins, to whatever fights are going on at different cells in your blood and your lymph to be able to remove so that you don't get sick. There are literally billions of reactions happening every day just in your body that you're oblivious to that have got nothing to do with you.

>> Yeah.

>> And then we can throw in meeting the girl that you apparently are really into, 'cause you've been with her for 3 years. You could not have orchestrated that, but life took care of it for you. Are you starting to see that life is probably a, you know, slightly more powerful than you?

>> Yeah, definitely.

>> Yeah. And and so now really seeing that, what might that feel like for you if you could let life be the 99.9% and pull the 0.1? What might that feel like if you walked around like that?

>> Thinking and trying to feel what you just said, the first thing would be more relaxed shoulders and a bit of weight kind of eased off. Um, of course embodiment of it as a as a permanent thing, but that's kind of the feeling. It would be if that was a truth and I, you know, that would be, yeah, I think just a little bit of weight off the shoulders.

>> Great.

>> I can breathe for a moment.

>> Okay. And that's where you pointed to your chest earlier when we spoke of where is it up to me. You pointed to your chest, the tightness. Great. So that shows me that you're letting go of that constraint. Why? Because it's not a truth. I mean, I could go on. And I could give you another thousand examples of things that happen in your life completely without you being present.

>> So again, I can completely and utterly obliterate the lie that it's up to you.

>> Not to challenge that, but just as a thought that came to me. Yeah. How would you differentiate that when it comes to the conscious and the subconscious mind then?

>> Well, your conscious mind is what's really trying to think it's all up to you. Your subconscious is already, it's already ingrained in that, right? Like so what we're trying to do is soften the grip of your body, your lungs, your energetic behavior, your constant rumination even at sleep that is just driving your life and not allowing abundance to flow to you because you're blocking it. You think it's all up to you. Then your subconscious is running the show and then consciously, like I said, you're trying to, you're aspiring to, you want to take care of your mom, you want to take care of your girlfriend, blah, blah, blah. It doesn't matter. You can think all day. That's why you have these motivational moments for one, two, three months and then you collapse because you're fighting. That's the break. Your sub, your subconscious, the accelerator is your conscious 'cause you're smart trying to do something again. It's all beautiful. It's well-intended, but it's futile. Yeah.

>> So again, when it's all up to you, what is there no room for in Paul's life?

>> There's no room for anything. It's just.

>> Yeah. And anything is anything is everything and everything is abundance.

>> Yeah. So, yeah, no room for abundance if it's all up to me. Yeah.

>> And what was it you wanted to talk to me about?

>> Abundance.

>> Yeah.

>> Right.

>> Yeah. It it felt like I knew there was something blocking me, but I just couldn't see what it was.

>> That's why I'm here. So you can see the blind spot, see the lie, see the prison that you're living in that's so suffocating that tightens your chest, that certain tightens your your purse strings and it doesn't allow abundance to flow to you.

>> It would be, listen, it would be as real for you to say, "Life just flows abundantly to me." How would that feel if that's your reality? Life flows abundantly to you.

>> It feels freeing to some degree, but there's also a thought there of, um, which I know is ridiculous. It's like, oh, but then I don't know what's going to happen and I need to take back. Is that trying to fight it again?

>> Which is the same thing. This is going to be a challenge like anybody, right? Is that you, I have now for probably like close to 30 minutes at least, maybe 40, pointed out the prison, but that pales in comparison to 35, 36 years of conditioning. Yeah. Yeah.

>> And this is strong in you. And so this is going to be your challenge is not what I'm telling you in terms of the truth. The truth is life is abundant.

>> And the truth is in terms of your reality and your conditioning, you've been looking through past tense. You've been looking through a lens of constraint. The thing is, we become so identified with the constraint. We think it's the way it is. It's not. You don't have it like this is Paul's view. You have it like this is life. For somebody else, they might be walking around right now with like stacks of money coming their way because they're like, "Oh yeah, [ __ ] life just gives to me. It's crazy. Like I go to this and someone gives me a check and I go to that and I meet this beautiful girl and then I get a job opportunity." Like that's equally not necessarily the truth, but it's the way they relate to life.

>> Exactly.

>> So what your challenge is, is not whether life is going to contribute to you, but it's letting go of the false, illusory belief that you've been living in.

>> And that's going to take some practice 'cause that's going to be scary 'cause you think unless you know you're holding the steering wheel, shit's going to go haywire.

>> Yeah. Which probably goes back to the the fearful little boy of not, you know, worried about not being okay.

>> Yeah. So that's the second part we want to get to, right? So that is exactly where you try to control circumstances for your own survival. So what you end up doing is just controlling a very small world that is lacking abundance. It's lacking contribution. It's lacking receiving.

>> Okay. So, let's look at the second one as you brought it up and it's perfect timing. If I were to cut you open, am I going to find a manufacturing label physical inside of you that says, "Paul, born in the UK, he's not going to be okay"?

>> No.

>> Not at all. So, where does it live?

>> In the mind.

>> Yeah. And what is it made up of?

>> Just words. Vibration.

>> Yeah. Literally just words. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah.

>> And when you look through that lens, we know that you have avoidant energy. You feel scared. You're worried. You procrastinate. And you really don't move forward with things in life even though you're trying.

>> Great. So, it's just words in your mind. It's just sound. "I'm not going to be okay." So, is it an absolute truth that who you are is that you're not going to be okay?

>> No.

>> It's not. And right out of the gate, where's the evidence that we know it's not true?

>> 'Cause I am okay.

>> 'Cause you're there.

>> Yeah.

>> 'Cause you're right in front of us, right?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. So, it's a pathetic lie. Not only is it a lie, but it's a terrible one.

>> But it does a great job of creating your anxiety, your fear, your being scared, and hence being avoidant. So the combination of the two, one cuts you off from life and then the other prevents you from pursuing life. So then you wonder why you're living in a non-abundant universe.

>> And your main concern, rightly so, was finances.

>> Yeah.

>> So is it true that you're not going to be okay?

>> No.

>> No. Okay. So in the absence of that fear, and again, this is a world that you're not familiar with that I'm introducing you to. So, it takes a little bit of a leap and a bit of imagination.

>> What if Paul could not relate to life like he's not going to be okay? Literally impossible. As it relates to the future, you had no fear, no avoidant energy, no concern for your own survival. How might you feel in the way that you go about life?

>> Relaxed.

>> Yeah, there you go. That was a nice.

>> Yeah, relaxed. And uh like I don't need to be rushing. I don't need to be anywhere. I don't need to do anything like specific. I'm, it's, it's all good.

>> Yeah. Taken care of. Isn't that cool?

>> Yeah.

>> So, not only is it taken care of, which is more the present experience 'cause it's not up to you. And by the way, in the absence of it's up to you, it can't be your fault, right? That helps get rid of the guilt and the shame and the pressure.

>> Do you see the correlation of those two?

>> Yeah.

>> And then if it's, you're not going to not be okay, because it's a double negative, right? You lived past tense in the "I'm not going to be okay." What I'm telling you is you're not not going to be okay. So it dissolves it. It's gone. Oh [ __ ] I can relax. I don't have to keep looking out for worst-case scenarios.

>> Yeah.

>> So not only does it allow you to soften, which is a receiving energy. So things from the future now can start to align. They literally are aligning based on your shift energetically with new possibilities you can't possibly imagine, just like meeting your girlfriend 3 years ago at a Thanksgiving dinner because you're out of the way now. So life is like, "Oh, okay. If you're not worried about all of these worst-case, pending doom-filled futures, we'll remove those and we'll bring you something that's way more inspiring and contributory, right? So you can just relax and receive. And by the way, if there's nothing to worry about, when you are motivated or you are inspired, your action becomes way more powerful moving forward 'cause you're now just on the accelerator when it's appropriate, not on the brake at the same time.

>> It kind of makes me think of that this idea of create, create from a place of inspiration rather than from desperation.

>> Yeah. Massive distinction from love of life versus fear of life. And you've been living a very desperate life. It's desperate to think it's all up to you. And it's desperate for, for sure, to think that you're not going to be okay.

>> Totally different human being just through the eradication and the dissolution of these two lies that have been defining you for 30 plus years.

>> So do you, do you sense a shift from our conversation?

>> Subtle. You know, there's a lot of, you, you, you have lived in this space for so long and there's a real attachment to it. It's going to take you a minute, you know, based on your makeup, because part of it's up to you means that you now think it's up to you to figure this all out, too.

>> Yeah. Yeah.

>> Right. And also, the fear that you're not going to be okay buys into the fear that you're not going to get this right. So, they're both going to be lingering in the background. Right. So, it's going to take a minute for you to really relax, get over yourself, and as I said earlier, pull your head out of your ass and realize, "Oh, I, I am the only thing in the way of complete abundance, which is ever-present around me."

>> So, it's going to take some practice. We start with awareness and then we move into practice. And the practice is going to be like, I don't know if you're at home with your girlfriend, but you go and tell her whatever, like you share whatever comes to mind of like, "Honey, you're not going to believe this. You know, I have forever thought it's all up to me. Like, I think it's up to me to take care of you. I think it's up to me to make sure that I have enough money so you don't have to work." And she will probably say something like, "Well, yeah, I know that's what you do all the time 'cause they always see it." And I've also been so scared that things aren't going to work out, which creates a massive amount of pressure, which is why I procrastinate and I have avoidant energy. Be like, "Yeah, no, I know that about you. That's why you're always anxious."

>> Yeah. So sharing with her and whomever is appropriate will help you to reinforce your own new reality. And then you have to update and say, "You know what? I am so open to life just taking care of details for me. I am so open to life contributing to me out of nowhere. I am not going to live in a place of fear where my future is filled with worst-case scenarios. My future is phenomenal." That's what's going to inspire me. Right? You start to create a new way of relating to who provides abundance and what your future looks like.

>> And you literally, literally will be a different human being. Now, are you going to slip back to the old way of thinking? Of course. You know, you got just over an hour of me talking to you, of which maybe 30, 40 minutes was the the revealing part compared to, as I said, 35, 6, 7 years of you know, you thinking life is a certain way. Yeah.

>> So, if it's not up to you, because it's not, which opens up receptivity, contribution, and abundance, and you're not not going to be okay, meaning there's nothing to fear. How could you be in the world? How could Paul feel as he walks around?

>> Well, I could feel, as I as I shared, relaxed. I could feel free. Um,

>> I could spread my wings a bit. Um,

>> yeah,

>> I feel like I would be of better service to the people in my life, to myself, to my clients. Um,

>> 100%.

>> And those that I love. Yeah. I just, yeah, I think that that's kind of what what comes up for me.

>> Great. So, now you get to practice that, right? Because even your anatomy is so trained to be a little tense, to be a little tight, because it's up to you. That creates pressure and you're not going to be okay. That creates defense. Both of which energetically, anatomically, create resistance.

>> Yeah.

>> So, one of the things for you, particularly if you're in the world of fitness, it will be good, is to shake it all out. Like, you know, whatever that looks like, whether it's a boxing class, you go for a run, you do some sprints, you do some crazy workout, hit training, it doesn't really matter to to to loosen your body, right?

>> Right.

>> To soften, because your psychology has seeped into every cell of your body to create resistance and tension.

>> Yeah.

>> Can you see that?

>> Yeah.

>> Which is why when you said, "Wow, I can feel like I can breathe easier." Great. We got a semblance. We got a we got a reflection of the softness coming in. You would feel more relaxed. You know, you let out a couple of big exhales. These are all the anatomical reflection of your mind starting to soften, which is what I want to see.

>> If you want to accelerate that process or at least continue it and progress it, then you you got to keep softening your body and realize, holy [ __ ] I'm in an abundant universe that is constantly trying to contribute to me. The only thing that's ever got in the way of that is the way that I related to myself and life, and that was a lie.

>> Yeah.

>> Okay.

>> Yeah. So, books and massages as well and that kind of stuff.

>> Yeah, massages. Drink lots of water. Flush out all of these old toxins that are associated with constraint.

>> And more than anything, lighten up.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> You've been through some heavy stuff. I get it. And for that, I have compassion. Whether it be with your dad, I get how scary that is, especially when you've got competition with brothers either side of you, or the middle child combined with whatever you had to witness with Matt that makes life feel so scary, fragile, and precious, which again you used as evidence to put more pressure on yourself.

>> And as hard as this is to hear, whatever Matt went through was precisely what he went through. That was what his soul decided it needed.

>> There's nothing you could have done. There's nothing anyone else could have done. That's exactly the way he drew up his life. So even there, you can find some softness and forgive yourself for what you think you might have done or should have done. It's all, it's completely erroneous.

>> Life is unfolding precisely the way it's meant to for everyone, including this conversation I'm having with you, my friend. So, you don't even have to have guilt or shame about the way you've been living. It's totally fine. But now, now with the new awareness, you have the opportunity to lighten up, to relax, to breathe, and to be open to life contributing to you. And that is abundance.

>> Yeah, I I feel that. How do I get the the piece right between action and allowing though?

>> Cuz obviously I do need to take some action. You know, I can't just.

>> Well, we don't know that. Let's let's let's just consider you don't have to take action. There is some action. Sure, you had to go to the Thanksgiving party to meet her, but did you? Who knows if you'd run into her 3 days later in a grocery store by accident, you know? Okay. Well, then I had to go to the grocery store. Yeah, you could fill in the had-to's for everything. But what I want you to consider, which is such a leap for you, is that your life is curated, orchestrated precisely for what you need. So you can just lighten up and relax. You can't [ __ ] it up.

>> And feel, feel in your body. What would that be like if there's literally nothing that you can do to [ __ ] it up or to avoid all of the goodness that is on the way to you? I know that's so foreign to your nervous system, but that's the inquiry for you to look at. How would I feel knowing that everything that is destined for me is on the way? My only task is to be present and to allow it and to follow my instincts of what feels good in the moment of whether it's I go to bed early, I go to a party, I go to this meeting, I go to the gym, like just just let life orchestrate the details for you. So yes, taking action, but taking action that feels in alignment with your highest good and then trusting and allowing life to contribute the rest. That is such a foreign world for you. I know and it's going to take some practice.

>> But if you have.

>> I feel like I feel like that message is more in my head at the minute and maybe it takes some work to integrate into the feeling of it.

>> Of course. Yeah, it's going to take a while to sink in below your neck, but you've had enough moments where you pointed to your chest with the relief that you could breathe easier. You've had some big exhales. Your shoulders did drop. Your body did feel more relaxed. So, it is there.

>> It's just your body is going to reference your mind and your mind is want to go back to what you've known. So, that's the practice is to keep letting go of the old conditioning and the old programming by realizing it's just not true. It's just not true that it's up to you. Do you play your part? Yes. But it's not all up to you. Are you not going to be okay? No. That's just not true. How do we know that? You're there. I can see you.

>> Right.

>> Yeah.

>> So to start to live in the truth of, "We don't know what's going to happen." But stop filling the "I don't know" with worst-case scenarios.

>> Got it.

>> Okay. That's a different world, isn't it?

>> Yeah, definitely. I I recently went away for like 3 weeks and I think that experience of just not focusing on goals and work and whatever else was, it felt so good. I just felt like I needed it, which is kind of, I think, how you were saying, just to be living every day anyway.

>> Yes. And then you don't need to go away because you're living in an abundant vacation-type world which is called life itself.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. Awesome. So, you've already got an example of that recently of what that felt like to just let go of the control, to let go of the fear, to let go of the need to make things happen.

>> Yeah.

>> Okay.

>> Yeah. It's going to take, it's going to take some uh some practice, but I'm uh I'm definitely on board with this and I really appreciate you helping me uh see some of those blind spots and shift some stuff around.

>> Yeah, you're welcome, mate. And again, it is, but you know, you don't know how long and you don't know how hard, right? So just even that you just want to keep letting go of not knowing, right? You didn't know that this was going to be the conversation we had. You had maybe some sort of semblance of hope or thought that I might be able to point out a blind spot, but you didn't know this is what was going to happen, right?

>> Exactly. And you know, I was in bed last night struggling to sleep because I was excited and worried about this conversation. I was like, "What?" Yeah. Just the fear of the unknown.

>> Um, yeah.

>> Yeah. Which isn't the fear of the unknown. It's the fear of your part, which is you're not going to be okay. Like you might not get what you want from Peter Cone. It might not work out. What if he doesn't help me? All of that's the fear.

>> Yeah.

>> This was more the unknown, which is that I pointed out something you couldn't see.

>> Yeah.

>> That's the good part. So again, there's more evidence. So when you stop trying to figure it all out and let life show you something you can't anticipate, it works out. You see?

>> Yeah.

>> You become way too smart to figure [ __ ] out.

>> Yeah.

>> You know, this is one of my quotes for you that will make sense. I say, "Being smart doesn't make you any happier. It just makes your reasons why you're not way more convincing."

>> Neither.

>> Do you get that?

>> Yeah. Stupid people do all sorts of [ __ ] that they shouldn't do because they don't think about the ramifications or the consequences.

>> So, you would benefit from dumbing down a bit. Of course, it's not going to actually happen, but to stop trying to figure it all out, be a little bit more, you know, quote unquote oblivious and and let life surprise you.

>> Okay.

>> Yeah, that'll be my practice.

>> That is your homework. Stop knowing so much. So it certainly saves you time from having to do more [ __ ] courses and learning [ __ ]

>> Yeah.

>> Listen, Paul, such a pleasure to be with you. I appreciate your vulnerability. Certainly sharing, you know, some of these very difficult experiences, certainly with your friend Matt and even as a kid with your dad. You know, these are scary things for a kid and certainly for you to share. Uh I appreciate your generosity and your contribution to me and the people who get to watch this and listen. Uh because I promise you there are millions of people who have the same kind of constraints that you've shared and hopefully through you, you've already started to make a help by helping them see that they're not truths and that they too can live from a place of freedom and let life contribute to them effortlessly too. So thank you for for your generosity, of course, and I appreciate uh you taking the time to help me and uh that was one of my other goals with this. I wanted to help more people. I'm sure there's going to be some others that can relate to it. So, thank you again.

>> Just real briefly, um I wanted to ask you just 'cause your your perspective and your background, do you.

>> What would you advise me in terms of, and I know I don't want to be doing more now, but with the transition into kind of the mindset stuff from fitness, do you have any kind of just advice about that kind of path of of how we might approach things?

>> Absolutely. Based on what we just shared, don't even think about it for a while.

>> Okay.

>> Yeah. 'Cause that's strengthening or continuing to use the muscle where you're trying to figure it out. You know, you don't know that in 10 days somebody says, "Hey, you know, I watched your Instagram clip or I don't know what you have out there in the world." And they're like, "Would you be open to like just doing a coaching session with me?"

>> I I you know, they're the kind of things that happen.

>> Yeah.

>> When you're open and not trying to figure it out. So for now, your only job is to not know, is to relax, to have a little bit more fun, to be responsible for your real wellness, not your physical, you know, sculpted wellness of your body. I'm sure you're in great shape, but more energetically to be relaxed, to be open, to be receiving, and let life contribute to you. So, for now, I would at least take a week off uh of trying to figure anything out about a transition or what you're meant to do or any of that and just let life surprise you.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Yeah. Homework accepted.

>> Homework is don't do anything.

>> Yeah.

>> Okay.

>> What a great assignment that is. I guarantee you every student around the world is, I wish I had a teacher like Peter Cone who told me my homework is to do jack [ __ ] Definitely.

>> You're going to do stuff, but you know what I mean.

>> Yeah.

>> Okay.

>> I appreciate it, Peter. Thank you so much. I'm extremely grateful.

>> It's a pleasure to be with you, mate. I look forward to catching up and uh to hear hopefully, you know, a little bit more fun, a lot better breathing, and maybe some surprise contributions from life.

>> Yeah, of course. Likewise. Before we do our 30-day check-in, I just wanted to remind you to check out some of my life-changing offerings. For my three and a half month deep dive with over 30 hours of theory and live coaching, all led directly by me, please check out my mastermind at peterone.com/mastermind. And to join my freedom membership with over a 100 hours of pre-recorded programming covering everything from anxiety to relationships, health, financial freedom, as well as recordings of all my live events and Q&As's, please visit peterone.com/freedom.

[Music]

I'm just really curious in this follow-up just to see how you've been, things that you've realized, maybe some different patterns that you've noticed or behaviors that you've experienced, and obviously if you have any other questions based on what we discussed.

>> Yeah, absolutely. I mean, firstly, uh I mean, I didn't really have the time to thank you enough, Peter. Honestly, I'm extremely grateful having the chance to uh have that one-on-one interaction was amazing. Um, and on reflection, I think at the time I was very nervous. I felt after our call, I don't get sweaty much, but my armpits were drenched. And I don't I don't know if it was just like uh just my body releasing stuff or if I was just, you know, as a combination of things. Um,

>> Yeah, I uh I guess I have that effect on people.

>> Yeah. It means I was like, "Oh, I don't have to work out now. I can just talk to Peter and I was going to get my benefits."

>> Yeah. Just have an emotional workout.

>> Um but yeah, no I I think on reflection it was it was really powerful like I haven't had uh any you know physical changes in my in my life uh with regards to the outcomes that I wanted.

>> But I did take your your suggestions to you know, basically just not do stuff for a while and stop trying to do too much. Um, which which has been nice. And

>> I think the biggest thing I found is that your the conversation that we had, the the blind spots that you helped me see, I think the two the two main ones were the, um, it's all up to me and, um, you know, I'm not going to be okay in the future. Something bad is going to happen.

>> Yeah.

>> And

>> Exactly. I think really, um, some of the other stuff that I've been interested in uh in the spiritual kind of realm, I've started seeing a lot more patterns of things that you were saying and I actually didn't mention, I don't think, but several years ago I chatted with Abraham Hicks. I went in the hot seat and a message at the time was actually, uh, I think the struggle I had was living in the present moment and I think the message that you gave me and that Abraham Hicks gave me was very similar and then I'm starting to see these patterns in,

>> you know, lots of the spiritual uh teachings. Um, so yeah, I I think there's a lot, you know, a lot there. Um, and really I think you you said to me something like, "More than anything, lighten up." And I was like, yeah, you know, I I'm a bit, I can be in that energy sometimes where I'm thinking about the current situation or I'm thinking about my problems or I'm thinking about the past and it's just like, it's just a croc of [ __ ] you know? It doesn't have any influence on my future really. So just getting out of that, I think the biggest takeaway was just

>> getting out of that headspace and honestly like doing whatever I'm doing, if I'm playing football or if I'm, you know, going out in nature somewhere or whatever to lighten my mood and to feel better and then to not be so focused on

>> trying to force change. Um, and then really like tapping into the universal supply. Uh, not using my own mind to look at my existing reality. Just trusting 'cause you had shared with me,

>> you know, it cracked me up when you said about the examples of making my fingernails grow themselves and, you know, consciously digesting my food and stuff 'cause it's, it's, it's ridiculous really. So yeah, no no no like massive changes in my physical environment, but I definitely think there's more awareness and some insights and I'm probably more at a point now where I'm looking to uh embody some of these on a deeper level. Uh, whatever that looks like. Um, but those are just some kind of thoughts that have come up since our conversation.

>> I love it. And whilst, you know, I I love the candidness, I love the honesty, and whilst it might seem, as you said, that there aren't any drastic changes in your physical circumstances, I would say they pale in comparison anyway to the changes in your internal terrain, right? So if you're to use your correct medical term, a croc of [ __ ] you know, recognizing how much you were just attending to your own thoughts, worried about things, trying to control things. Like I think for myself with the work that I've done here now for two and a half decades with people, there is so much more value to be had by a change in your inner experience of life than there is in your circumstances. Right? Like I've worked with, I don't know, close to 15, 20 billionaires at this point. So you could argue that their circumstances are quintessentially perfect, ideal, but they don't have peace. You know, they still struggle with anxiety, frustration, anger, depression, broken relationships, children that you know have ended up addicted to substances. Like there's all sorts of suffering, right?

>> Yeah. So what I love, and this is going to be your next opportunity, is that the term I use is frequency precedes form, right? So meaning as Paul changes his internal vibration, then okay, it maybe isn't instantaneous or perhaps at the speed that we sometimes want or that you want, but it is nonetheless going to happen. Meaning you keep staying in that lighter frame of mind where you're more present. So you're less preoccupied with trying to control things, trying to, you know, believe that it's all up to you, as we discussed, or as the default setting for most people's brains is worried about a future outcome that hasn't happened yet, meaning, you know, that you're not going to be okay. When all of that just dissipates and you truly embody where you are and you focus on what you're doing from a place of presence and peace, then you will have power to influence life. You just will. Um, and life will meet you there. As opposed to you constantly reinforcing the internal energy of lack or scarcity, which is the precursor to worrying about a future that hasn't happened yet. Right? If you knew that your life worked out and that all of the success that we talked about that you want to establish was going to happen, you know that you would feel a sense of peace, a sense of calm, a sense of confidence, right? And so that's the energy that we want to continue to harness to strengthen because that is the precursor to those events transpiring. Does that make sense?

>> Yeah, absolutely. It's it's kind of like when people think, "When I have this thing, then I will feel this way." Whereas actually, from I think what you teach and, um, I'm seeing some of the patterns now because of a conversation, is that actually focus on those thoughts and feelings now and then go through your day-to-day life and then that's probably, as a byproduct, those things are more likely to happen because it's an energetic shift.

>> 100%. That's the process of creation, right? A very simple sort of tagline that a lot of people may have heard before as it relates to creation is be, do, have, right? And

>> most people have it the other way around, have, do, be, which, which is if I have what I want, then I can, you know, if I have more money or if I have the partner, then I can do the things that I really am committed to and then I can be happy. Right? And it's a very simple breakdown. And so the way that we feel to use your terms, the the internal terrain of who we be as human beings is what drives what we do. And then as a byproduct of that, we get what we have, right? So if your who, if who Paul was being before was nervous and stressed and controlling, then the things you do had to be an extension of that and therefore you had the life that you had.

>> Yeah. The more that you can embrace Paul being free, confident, at peace, present, you know, joyous, loving, powerful. If, you know, these are the qualities that you exude, then it's it's a natural extension that your communication and your actions are going to be commensurate with that energy and therefore the results have to reflect that. Do you understand?

>> Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. And most people because of the default setting of the brain, you know, have it the other way around, which is this sort of one-day phenomenon when, as you said, I get whatever it is that I think I I think I want because what we think we want isn't what we want. We actually want the experience internally of what we think having that item will give us, right? It's not if I gave someone like a million bucks in a suitcase or a duffel bag and, you know, locked them in a in a staircase, you know, underneath a staircase in a cupboard, they're not going to be very happy. But but wait, what's your problem, mate? You got the you've got the million million bucks, you know. So, it's the idea of what something like that would give us as an experience. So what I love for you is that you've got the smarts, you've got the intelligence, you've obviously dabbled with other forms of teaching to recognize that oh, the more you shift internally, the more you have a different way of relating to yourself and life, then everything else will just fall in alignment with that. And that's that's the power of creation. Otherwise, what I want people to understand is it's actually a form of reaction, right? So what we just delineated there, you shift your internal terrain, that changes the way that you feel, act, and then the results you get. Whereas most people it's reactive, right? It's they're waiting for something. Well, I'll react when fill in the blank happens, which is the old expression of seeing is believing, which we've all heard.

>> Yeah.

>> But I I I kind of adorn that with my own extension, which is, yeah, seeing is believing is also called waiting, right? Because then you're in the victim mindset of like, okay, I'll I'll believe it when I see it.

>> Conversely for me, it's like believing is seeing, which is called creating, right? So believing that your life works out, believing that you will, in your own definition of success, become successful is the energetic precursor to the thoughts, feelings, and actions that then will lead to whatever your version of success is.

>> Yeah, absolutely. I I don't know if it's because, um, I've never considered myself to be like a religious person really, um, yeah, in the sense of.

>> And you know, no no disrespect to any of these uh types of people, but when I think of the energy of, you know, like the Gary Ve's, the the Grant Cardones that that kind of do energy that is, um, that that's coming from like the place of force. Um, anyway, I don't I don't want to distract. What I was going to say about the religion thing, but what I was trying to get at is that I because I haven't had that, um, that religious or something, let's say someone to look up to, I thought maybe it's it's up to me, which was one of the things before, but it's the some of the awareness has now come around like, yes, I've got an interest towards spirituality, but maybe not so much, you know, traditional religion or whatever. But the the understanding of the something out there that is bigger than me, that's more powerful than me, the universal mind, whatever you want to put on it.

>> And so allowing, I think, tap that, that's almost a comfort in itself knowing, okay, just just focus on shifting my internal state and then trust that things will happen. And I might meet someone at the right time like when I'm at my girlfriend or I might, you know, have a conversation or whatever.

>> And then that feels like the path of, uh, as some of them would say, least resistance, but then going back on to what I was mentioning about these other types of uh people that I follow and I I definitely value some of their stuff, perspective sometimes, but a lot of that energy and maybe that's where the seeds were planted that you've got to do more, you've got to get more reps in, you've got to work, you know, 14 hours a day. Um, yeah.

>> And so there, there's I think there's that balance between the two. There's there's obviously some work involved, but there's also, it's, it's not from the energy that I was coming from before.

>> 100%. Yeah. I mean, it's beautifully articulated and I'm with you. I I really admire and I find inspiration from different religions and I pull many of the tenets and the principles that I think align with my own perspective. Yeah.

>> But I'm not, you know, religious per se. So I would say I'm much more in the camp of spirituality. I think religion can sometimes divide whereas I think spirituality is more inclined to unite. Um, so I lean into what I call trust versus faith. Right? Faith, you could say, is in a dogma, in a religion, which is all great. Uh, mine is more trust in perhaps consciousness, the absolute, or the universe. Uh, pick your poison. It's fine. Um, but I think what it does to your point is it it gets us out of this separate, individualized, independent mindset where everything's incumbent upon us. Right. So that's that's where you can kind of, as you just did almost, you know, on cue, relax your shoulders a little bit and go, "Oh, okay. Um, I don't have to do this all by myself." You know, there are greater forces and bigger intelligences at play here that even I, you know, Peter Cone, with my own intuition and intelligence and and perception, can't can't fathom. And it's actually quite comforting because I don't want to have to figure it out. I don't want to have to know. Um, and that that does then allow me to sort of surrender and relax so that even when things don't seem to go my way subjectively, there's a deeper knowing inside of me that actually, uh, they are going my way. I just don't know how this particularly, you know, unfolds just yet and allow myself to be surprised that what I thought I wanted not actually happening is the best thing that could have occurred. Right. And we've all had that experience.

>> Absolutely. So it reminds me of my very early days getting into this, showing my age, you know, uh, when I was in college. Um, I sat with a friend of mine called Guy and we would, you know, wax lyrical, sit under trees and do all of the sort of.

Know the kumbaya stuff of asking those big questions of why are we here? What's the meaning of life? And um, and it was just, it just led to so many beautiful conversations, which I'm so grateful for, and kind of created the foundation for who I became without me even knowing what I was doing back in the day. But nonetheless, it led to some pretty fun philosophical questions.

And I'll always remember he said, uh, this quote, and he wasn't religious either, so it wasn't like a dedication to a particular god figure, but he said, um, "Yes, believe in Allah, but tie up your camels." Right? And and that really spoke to what you just shared as far as I'm concerned. Like, you know, have faith, have trust in in Allah, Jesus, Shiva, you know, Muhammad, whoever it is that you want to believe in. Um, but, you know, take care of the the things that you can take care of, right? Like, you know, don't be complacent, don't be lazy, don't be irresponsible.

And so that to me, uh, speaks to the co-creation experience that it is to be human, right? Is to, okay, I'm I'm not separate from the whole, um, but I'm equally not the whole, and nor am I, um, in any way discarded by the whole, right? So we are, we could argue that who we are, uh, as an accumulation of beings, we represent the whole, right? So like a wave on the ocean is not separate to the ocean, and it's not the entire ocean, but it's nonetheless an aspect of the ocean. And so there's the, "I'll do my part as best as I can whilst knowing that there's a much bigger force at play which I am both influencing, but also influenced more importantly by." Does that make sense?

>> Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. So I mean, it makes me the obvious one is the law of gravity. Like, you know, I I trust that things are going to work out, but I'm not going to try and defy the laws of gravity and like jump out of a plane or something and hope that I'm going to be okay.

>> Yeah. See, that's where we're different. I'm still trying to overcome that one.

>> Oh, yeah. Bit of an extreme example, but.

>> Yeah. No, no, I get it. I mean, that to me is about the only thing that I'll I'll succumb to at this point, you know. I think everything else in terms of people's woes and fears and limitations, I think, can be transcended. But, you know, gravity, that's that's pretty stubborn.

>> Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.

>> Yeah. Amazing. Well, Paul, I don't know if I don't know if you had anything else to ask or to share, but I I love, I mean, look, you've got a big heart. You're obviously super smart. I I can feel the shift in your energy in terms of the relaxation, not trying to control everything. Uh, it sounds like you, without being there as a fly on the wall of your life, I'm going to, you know, I'm going to guess that you might have had a little bit more joy, a little bit more relaxation in your life since we've spoken, maybe, um, a lot less stress and tension. And as you said, force. Um, I love that distinction.

Just for the listeners, one of the things that I do with all of my professional athletes, um, I ask them to say the following statement. I ask them to say, "I am forceful." So they say, "I'm forceful." And then I ask them, "How does that feel in your body?" And invariably, you know, the majority of responses are in the in the realm of, um, it feels tight. I feel tension. It feels like I'm trying to make something happen. I'm pushing. And that that's of course, you know, the experience I want them to have. So that's, I would say is that Paul prior to our conversation was very forceful, right? It comes from a place really of fear and scarcity and lack and separation, which drives the inclination to try and want to control things. Everyone can relate to that.

But then I ask my athletes to say, "I am powerful." And what does that feel like? So they say, "I am powerful." And they immediately, you, it's almost like their posture changes. They sit up a little bit. They're like, "I feel calm. I feel confident. I feel no matter what happens, I can handle it. Um, that I am held by a greater force of some kind. That I, you know, I can influence life in a way that isn't dominating, that isn't, you know, abusive, that isn't, uh, trying to get my own way. Um, but rather I feel like I am truly making a difference and I have the power to, um, consciously create the life that I want." And so I feel for you, and just to help you with that distinction, you're going from a very forceful perspective to one that is more powerful, where yes, you still have your aspirations and your goals, which is amazing, but there's a degree of surrender, which I know can sound counterintuitive, but actually it's not where we let go. You know, I'm again using a religious expression where we let go and let God, right? So kind of we get out of the way, let the universe do its part. Um, where yes, we have a certain degree of maybe steering, like a boat on a river or surfing on a wave. The energy, the real force is life, and we do the best we can to navigate that, um, by steering consciously in the direction that we want to go.

>> Yeah, that was beautifully put. Yeah, that makes sense.

>> Yeah. So, that's what I see for you, my friend. You know, you you've obviously got beautiful aspirations and and I I love that. And um, and I really appreciate the kind words at the beginning. It's, uh, never lost on me how, um, how many people want to have these kind of conversations who hopefully listening in right now who want to, you know, spend time with me, whether it's, you know, over a relaxing fruit type beverage or on a podcast, and and just sort of chip away at some of their constraints and suffering. And, uh, that's certainly my commitment here, as you know, as part of my work to help people transcend the constraints with which they arrive so that they also can find some more freedom. So thank you for the kind words. Thank you for your contribution to this podcast where people get to listen to your story. And I'm sure there's millions of people who can relate to where you were, and as a byproduct of your vulnerability and your courage, hopefully, there's also millions now who have relaxed and they can lean into just the power of being present and understanding that their life is taken care of in ways that they don't fully understand. And that can give them a greater sense of trust. So, um, it's just, just great to have conversations like this with people like you, my friend.

>> Yeah, absolutely. No, I appreciate it. Peter, I I think the the a question that comes to me, uh, kind of on that really is thinking of other people, uh, and even myself maybe a little bit. But, you know, the the awareness was the first piece, which we spoke about last time, and I've been kind of reflecting on some of that. I think the challenge for many people, including myself, is, um, in the world we live in where, you know, with social media, the different things on the news and everything, um, is what do you may maybe I'm doing the right things now from what I've shared with you, but what would be, you know, like going to the gym, you want to go three times a week, four times a week, whatever, consistently to build up your body. What would be, what would be the energetic, um, work to be doing? Um, is it just following what feels good in the moment? Is it to do some kind of mental, you know, visualization or meditation? I'm just curious, like, what's your kind of top recommendation for people when you're looking at the bills that you've got to pay, or, you know, you're late for work, or whatever it might be that's happening in the world, right? Just what's like a mental kind of, um, practice you you would recommend? That that's really the only question I have for you.

>> It's a great question, my friend. Um, and I really appreciate your dedication to, you know, wanting to, um, embody this, um, integrate it, and and live from this energy because it is, um, it's super fulfilling. You know, I feel like I'm one of the most blessed men alive just by virtue of the fact that I get to understand these distinctions and practice them very readily.

>> Yeah. And effortlessly. So, yeah, just akin to, as you said, going to the gym, taking care of your body, then you want to take care of your mind. So, let's look at the basics, right? What are what are some of the ways you can take care of your mind? You know, there are the anatomical u practices, which is good sleep, you know, good food that is for cognitive health. Obviously, avoiding toxicity, um, especially, you know, in the food that we eat, are unfortunately a lot of these GMO foods and stuff that's covered in glyphosates. So, you want to take care of your brain, right? So that's just on the practical side.

Then as a practice in terms of like learning to really embody these principles of freedom, you know, love, possibility, they're sort of the three main pillars of my work. Um, it might seem counterintuitive, but you want to discover where you're not free, right? Because if you can find out where you're not free, then there's an access to some freedom on the other side of that. So whatever's in the way is going to be founded in some sort of limitation narrative, which will have the energy of predominantly fear about it. So wherever we feel like, um, inhibited or thwarted in terms of expressing ourselves, is an opportunity to find freedom. So that's actually a practice is, okay, if the commitment like this podcast of finding freedom is to discover that for ourselves, then the irony is we want to find out where we're not free. So for Paul, you know, wherever that might be, right? If it even saying you were talking to me, you were nervous, you were sweating a lot. That's not bad. That's human. But where else might you feel that? Is it in a public presentation? You know, when people do, uh, speaking engagements in front of a company, what would make Paul a little bit nervous? Would it be to run your own workshop for a weekend where you're kind of challenging yourself a little bit? Uh, so that's a practice in terms of freedom.

Um, but also in the way that you express yourself, excuse me, in front of say, your girlfriend, or her parents, or your, you know, somebody you admire, you know, where you might feel, as we can all do as humans, a feeling of inadequacy. There's another opportunity to express yourself, um, un, you know, uninhibited.

Um, then love, you know, where where can you practice love? You know, where can we find that? Most people obviously tend to do the opposite. They tend to be in fear. They're in fight or flight to some degree. So that might manifest as, you know, screaming at someone in traffic because they cut you off. Or it might be making your partner wrong or disregarding somebody's, uh, messages that they've sent you. Uh, ghosting people, gaslighting people, you know, these are the antithesis of love, right? So where could you practice being more loving? So that would be the second thing to look at. Where is there someone in your life right now who perhaps did hurt you or upset you, and rather than cleaning it up and you know, just letting them know, but giving them the opportunity to apologize? You know, a lesser mind tends to want to make somebody wrong so that they can be right. You know, it's sort of one of the predominant imperatives of the ego is we want to be right. That's self-righteousness of the ego. So where can you practice more love would be another area to look at.

And then lastly, the energy of possibility is, you know, for me, it's so replete with joy when you really get that this domain that we live in as human beings is itself possibility. So when we don't feel that, we're, uh, typically misidentified with our own shortcomings, our own limitations, failures from our history that make us feel that we can't do something right. Like I, another quote of mine, I say, you know, "When other people tell you your dreams aren't possible, have sympathy. It's their own limitations they're exposing, not yours." Right? So does that make sense?

So you know, those three, I would say, you know, where are you not free? Great. There's an opportunity to find more freedom. It could be as mundane as, okay, you have a partner, but if some guy out there or some girl right now is, you know, kind of keen on someone, or you're at a bar, or you're a grocery store, or you're yoga class, and you see someone you're attracted to, but you're scared to go up to them for whatever your fear might be of embarrassment, rejection, or looking like a fool, that's an opportunity to overcome that, right? So practice that. Find where you're not free. Go out there and practice freedom.

Um, secondly, you know, as I said, be increasingly more loving. Where are you holding account of things people have done to, you know, hurt you and making them wrong? That's childish. And again, I'm obviously not inviting people to stay in abusive situations or communicate with people who are very hostile or harmful. No, this is only when relationships are important to you that, uh, are you being really loving, or are you being a little self-righteous?

And then possibility is where can you continue to recognize that this moment right now, whoever is listening, literally at this moment, this moment in time has never happened before in the entire history of humanity. And for that reason, it is like littered with nothing but the energy of possibility. The question is, to what degree do we drag our past into this new moment, and that then muddies the waters of possibility, where we become resigned or cynical to the fact that something's not going to work for us. So they would be the three things I'd practice, my friend. Where can you find more freedom? Where can you find more love? And where can you live from the energy that I would assert is your birthright, which is the energy of pure possibility.

>> That's awesome. Thanks so much for sharing that, Peter. Yeah. Hopefully that's a pretty comprehensive response.

>> Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a good six, 12 month, lifetime program of, uh, work to do there. So.

>> Yeah, well, they, you know, they came through me with my work and helping people transcend their constraints. I realized that every time, so for you, you know, thinking that it's all up to you, it's a prison, right? It's a limitation.

>> And when you break through and come to the other side of that, then you discover freedom from it, right? And when you're in a place where, oh, [ __ ] it's not up to me. It's not all my responsibility. Then you could have a newfound love for life. And simultaneously, you see a new way of living, which is possibility, right? So the three qualities always arise simultaneously when somebody overcomes some sort of previous constraint. So when you understand that, it's a really beautiful way to relate to life, and particularly to time, you know.

>> Yeah, absolutely. No, I appreciate that. Thanks a lot for showing, Peter.

>> You're welcome, mate. Well, listen, this was just a followup to check in. It's great to be with you again. Um, I really appreciate, you know, the opportunity that I get to meet and work with human beings like yourself. We, you know, didn't know each other from a hole in the ground, or at least I didn't know you. You'd obviously listen to some of my stuff for a few years, but, you know, it's just really an honor for me to be with another human being on the planet, um, to hold space for you, and for you to contribute to the audience in a way that millions and millions of people will be able to relate to your same, you know, maybe not quite the identical situation, but very similar enough for them to realize, um, that they have a very similar form of limitation that now is no longer necessary, and as a result, um, here we all are finding freedom. So thank you, my friend.

>> Yeah, of course. I'm always happy as a coach and in the fitness industry and all that, like helping other people anyway. So, if this, you know, being not being the guinea pig, but being, uh, I guess being the guinea pig, but benefiting myself and others, then that's great. So.

>> Yeah. Awesome.

>> Well, Paul, a pleasure. I hope we'll get to connect maybe in life one day down the road. And, um, hopefully my work will continue to contribute and inspire you to, uh, live from this place of freedom, love, and possibility. And to, um, yeah, continue to lean into that energy of true trust in life, uh, whilst simultaneously obviously co-creating the things that you aspire to see in the world. And I know the difference you make out there, and and, you know, thank you for what you do to help people on all levels. And I know this energy of internal peace and a lot more, um, sense of freedom is what the world needs more than anything. So take that out there and and pass it on.

>> Of course. Absolutely. It would be my pleasure.