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As I record this video, we're expecting our third child to arrive any day now. And as we've been preparing for their arrival, it's got me thinking about how different it is this time round compared to our first. We're definitely much more relaxed and less anxious. And a lot of that has to do with the fact that there aren't anywhere near as many unknowns this time round. We've been through the newborn phase twice already, so the third time round doesn't seem anywhere near as daunting.
Which got me thinking, what are the most important pieces of advice I could share with new parents, to help take away some of that uncertainty, stress and anxiety out of the whole experience. So, that's what I'm going to share with you in this video. These are 14 of the most important pieces of advice I would give to any new parent.
Starting with one topic that hits a lot of new parents the hardest, sleep! You may think your newborn is going to be calm, peaceful and quiet when they're sleeping. But in actual fact, they're going to be quite noisy and look like this, most of the time. You'll hear them grunting and making lots of noises and also moving around quite a bit. This is because newborns spend most of their time in REM sleep and because they don't experience sleep paralysis like we do as adults, they grunt, cry out, move around, smile and laugh, while they sleep. Which means, your newborn is going to be an extremely noisy sleeper.
This is important to know, because often, new parents will rush in to pick their baby up, as soon as they hear them making noises. Not realizing that they're actually still asleep. And this means, they unintentionally awake the baby from their nap. The key with the newborn is to pause and give them a minute, when you hear them making noises, to see if they're actually awake, before going in and picking them up. You'll find quite often, that they actually settle again and continue their nap.
Continuing on the topic of sleep. Using a swaddle is a great way to help your newborn achieve good quality sleep, and this is because it creates an environment like the mother's womb, providing a sense of security and warmth. Furthermore, a swaddle can also help to dampen the startle reflex, which is a normal reflex that is triggered when there is a sudden movement or noise. And this startle reflex often results in waking a baby prematurely from their sleep. And most importantly, using a swaddle, makes it easier to transfer a sleeping baby from your arms into the cot. So, if you don't have one already, you might want to purchase a swaddle to give it a try with your little one, especially, if you're struggling with their sleep.
Now, this next one might surprise you a little. As a new mom, I would become very worried when I couldn't get my daughter to burp, because I'd heard that the trapped gas would actually lead to stomach pains or wind, and cause my daughter to become a fussy baby. But, I soon realized that she was perfectly happy whether I burped her or not. There's actually been a study done that indicates babies who are burped, are no less fussy than those who aren't. And in lots of cultures, burping is just not a thing. So, if you're struggling to burp your little one, or if you find you need to wake them from a sleep to burp them after a feed, see what happens if you don't, if your little one is content and happy, then try giving burping a miss. But if you're a little one is fussy, has reflux or is just more settled when you do burp them, then burp away. The main thing to take away here, is that if you're spending a long time, trying to burp your little one after every feed and it's becoming a bit arduous, don't just assume it's something you have to do. You might just find that you don't need to burp them at all, which is exactly what we found with our first two.
Something else that I think you'll find really helpful, is that newborns use baby cues to communicate with you from day one. Instead of using words to communicate with you, your newborn will use subtle facial and body cues. There are actually specific facial and body cues that newborns use, to tell you that they are hungry, tired, wanting to play or even needing a break. By understanding what these subtle cues are, you can quickly start to work out what your newborn is trying to communicate and meet their needs. And this will make parenting a newborn, significantly easier, as well as help to strengthen the relationship between you and your baby.
While all babies are very different, some of the most common cues to look for are rubbing their eyes and starting to fuss or yawn when they're tired, opening their mouth and actually turning their head and immediately starting to suck onto their hand or searching for something to suck on when they're hungry and when they're ready to play, you'll notice that their body and arm movements become smooth and their eyes become wide and bright. And when they're overstimulated, and trying to tell you that they need a break, you might notice a reduction in the eye contact and they may actually turn their head away from you or they just turn their eyes away from you.
One thing that you'll realize early on, is that you need to find ways to calm your little one when they get upset. And one of the most effective calming strategies for newborns is sucking. They have a really strong desire to suck and whether it's a nipple bottle, their hands or a pacifier it's going to be a really effective way to calm them down. When a baby sucks, their brain releases the hormones, dopamine, serotonin and endorphins, and these help to soothe and calm a baby. Now, newborns don't yet have the hand strength or coordination to place their hands in their mouth to suck them. So for that reason, a pacifier can be an extremely helpful alternative. In addition to helping sue the fussy baby, pacifiers can help relieve pain, during minor medical procedures like blood tests and vaccinations, as well as reduce the risk of some infant death syndrome, when they're offered to infants, one month of age and older at the onset of sleep.
This next tip is around something every parent experiences with their newborn, and it's a tough one. It's called the witching hour, or the period of purple crying. And it's completely normal developmental phase, all newborns experience. It usually begins at around two weeks of age. And you'll notice that your baby starts to become fussy and harder to soothe in the afternoons or evenings. Often, it hits just as you feel like you're getting on top of the whole sleep situation. So many parents start to worry that there's something wrong with their little one, but it is just part of their normal development. When it's happening, it may look like your baby is in pain, even though they are not. And often the crying is unexpected and you can't identify why they're unsettled or upset. You'll notice that the length of time your baby is unsettled each afternoon or evening, will actually gradually increase and peak at six to eight weeks of age. And at its peak, it can last as long as five hours or more a day. It will then start to decrease until it eventually stops, at around three to four months of age. Although this phase is difficult, it can be extremely helpful to know that it is developmentally normal behavior, which will pass in time.
Something I talk about quite often on this channel, is tummy time. It's a really important activity that provides a wide range of developmental benefits for your baby and these include, helping to strengthen all the muscles in their body, including the muscles on the neck, back, arm, shoulder, bottom and legs. And these are the muscles your baby is going to use to roll over, sit up, crawl, stand, and then walk. Tummy time also helps open your little ones hands and encourage their thumbs to come outta their palm, when they place weight through their hands to lift their head. And it provides an opportunity for them to practice weight shifting and balancing, which is a skill they need to master, before they're able to roll, crawl, move in and out of sitting, plus lots more. It also provides an opportunity for them to develop their visual skills, including depth perception.
But, what a lot of new parents don't realize is that you can actually start doing tummy time with your baby from day one, as long as your baby was born full term with no medical complications. And when you do start tummy time with a newborn, it's important to know that you don't have to do it directly on the ground. Often, that's simply too hard for a newborn. One easy way to reduce the difficulty for your little one, is to do it with them on your chest. Simply laying them on your chest and reclining back, so that you are sitting on an angle and not lying flat on the floor, is a great tummy time activity and a nice bonding experience for you too. The more upright you are, the easier it is for your baby, and you can gradually recline more and more over time, as they get stronger and develop this skill. But the main thing here, is that you start early. It's much harder to start tummy time, if you wait to start it. And starting early also helps to reduce the risk of positional conditions like, torticollis and plagiocephaly.
If tummy time is something you struggle with. You might also want to take a look at my course: Play, Develop, Thrive, as tummy time is a huge topic and I cover it in lots more detail in that course, including how to do it if your baby hates it. And I also cover everything else relating to your little one's development for their first 12 months of life, in that course as well. There's a link to that in the description, if you'd like more details.
This next one is a safety tip that surprises a lot of parents, and that is that babies should never be left to sleep in a car seat or a capsule. Car seats and capsules are not designed for safe sleeping for long periods of time. Although, it may be tempting to leave a newborn to sleep in the car seat after a journey has finished. It's important to take that baby out of the car seat or the capsule, once you arrive at your destination. And that's because research has shown that babies left in an upright or slanted position, unsupervised or for a long period of time, may be placed at increased risk of sudden infant death. And there's a few reasons for this. When sitting in a car seat or a capsule, a baby's neck may actually fall forward, putting them in a chin to chest position, which may block the baby's airway and lead to positional asphyxiation. And the extra putting in the car seats, which is required to ensure your little one's safety in the case of a car accident, can increase your baby's overall body temperature and result in overheating. And overheating is a known risk factor for SUDI. It is due to these risk factors, that the American Academy of Pediatrics and Red Nose Australia, recommend taking the baby outta the car seat when the journey is finished. And if you are taking a long car trip, you take frequent breaks where you take the child out of the car seat at regular intervals.
Now, at some point, your baby is going to develop a fever and you might be tempted to assume that this is just because they are teething. But, did you know that teething doesn't actually cause fevers? Studies have shown that teething can cause a slight increase in body temperature, but it does not cause a true fever, which is when your baby's body temperature is over a 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit or 38 degrees Celsius. The reason this is is worth mentioning is because it's quite common for illnesses and infections to go untreated for a period of time, due to the assumption that it's just teething. So if your little one has a fever, don't just assume it's teething. Make sure you go and seek appropriate medical care for your little one, just to be on the safe side.
It may also surprise you to hear that your newborn doesn't need to be bathed every single day. In fact, bathing them every single day can actually cause more harm than good. And this is because your baby's skin is still developing in the first few months of their life and their skin is much thinner, more fragile and more sensitive than yours. And frequent bathing can actually result in your baby's skin drying out. So, to avoid worsening skin conditions and drying out your baby's skin, it's recommended that you bath your baby two to three times a week. And this is only after your newborn's umbilical cord stump has actually fallen off, which may take a week or two. And while that umbilical cord stump is still attached, it's recommended that yous sponge your baby as required.
As new parents, we often strive to create the perfect nursery for our newborn. And when I was shopping for sleeping products for my first child, I was overwhelmed by the amount of products out there. You have gorgeous comforters, stuffed toys, fluffy blankets, crib bumpers, newborn positioning, pillows, quilt sets and much more. But what I quickly realized is that all these sleeping products, although stunning, were just unnecessary and pose significant safety risks. In fact, to reduce the risks of SIDS and accidental suffocation, the American Academy of Pediatrics and Red Nose Australia, recommend a baby sleeps on a separate sleep surface, with a firm flat mattress covered by a fitted sheet. That is it. They don't need all those other items in their crib or bassinet.
While we are talking about baby products, another thing parents are often surprised about, is that baby bouncers, rockers, swings and gliders, should only ever be used for supervised playtime. So, although baby bouncers, rockers, swings and gliders are great tools for soothing a baby or keeping them entertained, while giving you a few moments with your hands free, they should never ever be used for infant sleep. And this is because when a baby falls asleep, while lying in these products, their head can fall forward pushing their chin down towards their chest, which can lead to the baby's airways becoming blocked and reducing their airflow and causing suffocation. And it is due to this risk that Red Nose Australia and the American Academy of Pediatrics, recommend only using baby bouncers, rockers, swings, and gliders for supervised playtime.
The next thing that all new parents should know, is that when you are baby wearing it's vital that you follow the T.I.C.K.S rule. Although baby wearing has many benefits, it can actually be dangerous for your baby if they're positioned incorrectly. And when you follow the T.I.C.K.S rule, it actually helps to reduce the risk of accidental suffocation, by reminding you on how you actually position your baby safely when they're in a baby carrier or a sling. So the T in T.I.C.K.S stands for, Tight. And that means that the sling itself should be tight, so that the baby is positioned high and upright and they're given head support. So you wanna avoid any loose fabric, which can cause your baby to slump down and restrict their breathing. The I stands for, In view at all times. So, you should be able to see your baby's face, by simply looking down. And your baby's face and nose and mouth should remain uncovered. The C stands for, Close enough to kiss. So your baby should be close enough to your chin that you can actually easily kiss their forehead. And the K stands for, Keeping the chin off the chest. So you always want to ensure that your baby's chin is up and away from their body. Your baby should never be curled, so that their chin is forced into their chest, because this can actually restrict their breathing. And the S stands for, Supported back. Your baby's back should be supported in a neutral position with their tummy and chest against you.
And the last thing you need to know, is that not all baby equipment on the market is developmentally beneficial for your baby. And in fact, they can pose safety risks. As a new mom, I assume that all baby products were safe for babies to use and developmentally beneficial. But I soon discovered that this is not necessarily the case. And a lot of baby products may hinder development and pose serious safety risks for babies. So, make sure you watch this video next to find out, which four extremely popular and common baby products are unsafe for babies to use. So you can make an informed decision about whether or not you wanna buy them for your little one. And before you go, if you've like this video, make sure you hit that like button and subscribe so you don't miss the next video.