The Near Death Experience of Tammy Lee Anderson

So, I was suicidal. I was on the floor of my dorm room and nobody was there and I had a bottle of pills and I was just done. And I heard this light being say, "I love you." And I said back, I said, "Leave me alone and I'm done. Just get out of here. Go away." And uh as soon as I said that, I was alone. I had the perception of being alone. I was in um complete stillness. There was nothing.

My name is Tammy Lee Anderson and I I'm here today to share my story of near-death. I've had three near-death experiences. Um, the first one, well, for the first two actually were before the age of 6 months old. And so I experienced these near-death experiences as a baby. Uh, the first near-death experience was I was born not breathing. So, I was blue. I was flat as a pancake because my mom was in labor for 38 hours. And uh, I couldn't breathe apparently. and the cord was wrapped around my neck uh tight enough where it cut the oxygen off. So, I couldn't breathe. So, they said, "Sorry, she didn't make it." And uh well, I made it and here I am.

So, that first experience um I did not remember these first two near-death experiences until I was 17 years old. And then it just came flooding back. And this happened when I was sitting in a church and a priest who had a gift of healing and uh he offered to say a prayer for me and I said, "Okay." And I didn't know really know what to expect from him, but he put his hands on my head and I just felt this heat, this warmth go through my whole body and and kind of landed in my stomach and then just I felt this kind of like explosion of awareness and I relived reexperienced the first two new near-death experiences as a child and Nobody had told me all the details. This was a reliving, a reexperiencing.

And I do um write about this, but the first one I was just what I experienced was just being in complete peace. Um I felt like I was bathed in this beautiful light and just incredible love. And it felt like home. It felt familiar. I felt like light beings were all around me. Um, people that I knew, souls that I knew. Um, and it just was incredibly peaceful and beyond words really. Uh, because it's more an experience, feelings, emotions. Um, I was aware, interestingly enough, I was aware of my mother's emotions, my father's emotions. I was aware of my grandparents there. I knew them.

Anyways, so what happened was I was born not breathing, still born and they revived me. Um, and all I can say is I was aware of everything. It was like I had like 360° awareness here and there. Um, I was aware of everyone. I was aware of the doctors. I was aware of all the emotions of them trying to get me going and at the same time I was just enveloped in this peace and this love and like I I was at home.

Um, and the next near-death experience happened when I was a little less than 6 months old. They were attempting to do a surgery. Um, I was born 4 lb 3 oz and then I lost uh a pound and so I went down to 3 lb. So I was a big big enough about this big to fit about a big big as a shoe. I could fit in a shoe box. They said I was so small. So what happened on the second one? I had to have a surgery because the the soft spots in the head closed and so they had to re they had to open that. And so basically had to cut my head open and create some space. And so in order to do this surgery they the anesthesiologist had to give me uh anesthesia. Well, this because I was so small and sensitive apparently um the anesthesia stopped my heart and so I went out of my body again and um at this this experience I felt more beings of light around me and I felt the contrast. Um I felt them trying to bring my heart back and I had no desire to come back into that little body. It was like I wanted to stay in the light because that was home. It was just so peaceful, so loving. They they shocked my heart with adrenaline and um they got it going again. Um, and all I can say the contrast was incredible because I went from extreme love and peace and feeling home to to feeling uh terror and the fear and the lights and the noise and the smell. Everything was like overexaggerated to my senses.

Nowadays, you know, with preeies. Um, and when I was born, they didn't have prenatal care. It was just a small hospital and usually babies this small would die. Um, but now they, you know, they have a prenatal care. They put things over their eyes and they're aware that the senses are quite um overwhelmed by lights. But I just remember the bright lights and the contrast between the light of the operating room and the light of God or whatever I want to call it, the light of love is very different. That light is incredibly brilliant, but it's soothing. It's loving. It's um it moves through every part of you. And this light here, it just was very offensive to the to the senses. And so that was my experience. Um, and I remembered all this at 17. It was like a flood. It was a reexperiencing. And when I shared this with my mom later, uh, she just started the tears started flowing because, um, there's stuff that I told her about her own feelings that she nobody would know. And uh so it was quite a shock for her to to as I told her these feelings and these emotions and what my experience was. Um it was a shock to both of us. I didn't you know I was wondering afterwards you know that was supposed to be a healing prayer. I didn't feel healed. I felt like it was quite a painful to actually remember all this and to reexperience this.

And what I I the interesting thing was some people after their near-death experiences I've learned since have depression and I had depression all my life and it was cuz I felt like I had missed something. And so, uh, I had childhood depression and I had, uh, I had depression up till I was 23 years old after the passing of my brother. And, um, I had another experience that was quite uh, intense. I was always drawn to the quiet, to the silence because I felt like I could connect to God there. I could connect to that what was bigger than this and more expansive more uh connection. And so I was always drawn to the silence and the quiet. And in this instance I would go out into nature. I loved being in nature and uh I would just go out by myself and be gone for a few days. In this instance I was gone for about a week and I was fasting. I was in the mountains and I overdid it. I didn't eat for a week and I uh it was hot and I didn't drink enough. So basically what happened is I collapsed um from a heat stroke and um I was out of my body immediately and um I just from what happened was I just felt like I was in this tunnel they did they describe I was going towards the light and there were uncountable souls going towards moving towards this light and I was just one of them and we were all moving towards this light and the interesting thing about the tunnel, it wasn't like constrictive like a an earth tunnel. It was like the edges had no uh boundaries. it it's but what made it like a tunnel is cuz the light was in front and everybody was moving towards that light and I was moving towards that light and it was just like the light just moves through your s through through you and it's just so beautiful and loving and what I noticed then right in front of me was my grandfather. I saw his back and it's not like I saw a physical back. It was the spiritual aspect of him cuz we're all light beings. Um, and there were different color light beings. Not everybody was the same color. And so, but I saw my grandfather in front of me and I said, "Papa." And he turned around and it was just like this this coming together. Um, my grandfather was quite quiet man and it was it was a blending and a You don't use words there. Even though I was aware of using words, it wasn't that wasn't at first. It wasn't um the communication the communication was happening not telepathically even. Some people say it's telepathic to me. It was like soulto soul where there's a blending um and nothing is unknown and it's just like this blending of love. And that was my experience with my grandfather. It was just so beyond what I can put into a word, but it was such a beautiful and I can understand how we can get ourselves in such challenges on this earth because we're using words and there's miscommunications because often words um don't say what a person feels, you know. Um it's just they're so inadequate.

When I was with my grandfather and I I asked him I said well what's the real story of uh Jesus because I've heard a lot of things about him and I've read things but I kind of have a feeling it's been distorted and I would like to know the real man and the real person of Jesus and what happened was when I when I um looked into the eyes of Jesus it was just like pure love pure and and um gosh what's the best way to put this? I just felt this connection and I just started going into this his light and and at this time I wasn't religious, you know, and so I wasn't brought up in a religion. I wasn't brought up uh Catholic or anything like this. Although at the time when I was re experiencing this though I was looking into into it and that's why where my curiosity came about Jesus cuz I was look you know I was trying to learn about what is he about you know and I just felt I felt like I was going into this love and this all enveloping light of him and I did not I I was just going into that and What happened was I felt felt as I was going into this I felt like I was dissolving and um and that would have been fine with me. In fact, I I hope to just dissolve and and forget everything and and some people say I want to keep my character but I really would just like to dissolve into the presence of God. And it is just so uh yeah amazing. So what I what I was experiencing I was just going into dissolving into him and then I felt this being of light this beautiful being and I'll just say she because I don't have any better way but I didn't feel you know male female I just felt this beautiful amazing beautiful being pull me to the side like you know come over here because you're going and you know we need to communicate. So, I got pulled to the side and then I just started asking questions like really like everything I ever wondered about like why do people suffer? Why why do babies die? Why is there wars? And and often people after this I tell this they say well what what was the answer? And it's like the answers were um overall the answer is that everything is perfect. Even the suffering, even the challenges of wars. Um not that that's good in itself, but here as a human being, we have the opportunity for contrast. And we're here as spirit beings expanding love. And it's an experience of contrast so that we can bring our light into the darkness. And so we experience really challenging things in our lives. Everybody does. Some more than others. Um but we we have an opportunity to choose love the best we can. Sometimes we don't do such a great choice, but that's we're learning and we're expanding and we're growing. And by that growing, we're stretching love because we are we are that we are that which we seek. Um we are the essence of God. We are a face of that um that we desire so much. We're we're that. So we're an expression a unique expression of God and we're expanding love here just by having the experience of contrast. So people ask me, well, what was the answer? The answer is hard to fit fit in one sentence why they're suffering. But the short answer is it allows us contrast to stretch our ability to love and to choose love again and again and again and from different points of view, from different perspectives.

So as I was asking these questions, I was asking I felt like I was asking with my words and then all of a sudden I realized I didn't have to ask with my words. Um every time I thought a question then I understood. So then I realized we were communicating soul to soul and then all of a sudden this just big explosion of light like particles of light different colors like were going through me and every little bit of light felt like a download of information of knowing um just ecstasy on top of ecstasy. It was just like and like there was no limit to the to the filling up. And um so what happened then was nobody asked me if I wanted to come back. Um some people they say, "Oh yeah, I had a choice." I was just all of a sudden back in my body. And what what um drew me back was the sound of a horse. And I know that sounds really strange, but it was strange to me at the time, too. I was I found myself listening to the sound of a horse and it just brought me back into the physical body, which was incredibly heavy, restrictive, cuz I came from an expansive state, really expansive, and then just like contracted into this this form again. And it was heavy. It felt like molasses. It was just like and I didn't want to be in that body at all. And um I was just laying on the ground. And come to find out that the horse was over the mountain. He was way far away. So I don't know, it felt like he was actually breathing in my ear. That I could feel the sound of the horse in my ear. I could feel the breath. But that horse was way way far away. So I I don't know how it all worked, but that's how what drew me back into a physical form and my attention was back on my physical experience and it was quite dense and and um at the time I thought, boy, I never want to do that again just because it was so painful to be back into the and I laid there for hours trying to to get my strength and by the time I started to move again, it was in the evening. Evening time where everything had cooled down and it was just dust so it was just getting dark. I was able, you know, my body must have cooled down enough to to recover from, but I it took me days uh to feel my energy again because it was so slow and dense. And um so that experience was my third near-death experience. And bits and pieces have come back to my awareness over the years.

Now, some people say that these near-death experiences changed their life and they're real different after. I can only say that I've been strange since the beginning. I don't have much to experience contrast because I've had these near-death experiences as a baby. I I can say that um I've always had a in inclination to bring healing and um kindness and love and I was aware at 7 years old um I had an experience at 7 years old where I realized how just being here sometimes we cause injury not purposely but unconsciously and I made the intention at 7 years old just to bring as much kindness and love as I could in this world. So my work has always had some aspect of healing. Um I became a counselor. Um I I did body work for many years. It's always been some kind of healing work. I've worked with people in the streets with the homeless. I've always been service has always given me joy. um to be of some service. You know, I thought, well, I I want to do as much good as I can while I'm in this world, and that's what my life has been about.

Um, so, let's see. Right after that third near-death experience, a few months later, um ever since ever since I was little, I've had precognitive um knowings. Um, I I was especially aware of when people were going to pass. And this is something that I didn't I was aware of, but it's something that I didn't um didn't like actually because there was nothing I could do to change it. And so I had these feelings of people passing. I had it with my brother. I had it with my grandfather. I had it with people. I'd walk near them in a grocery store and I could feel their light. Um, and I could feel them going into the light. Um, I had an experience where this little girl I got to know that priest um he was doing healing and one day I went to see him and he went he was having a meeting in the next room for a few minutes and so I decided I didn't know who who he was going to see um but I decided to join my prayer with his for whoever he was seeing. Well, what happened is um I all of a sudden this little girl was in front of me in spirit and she was about 10 years old and she said her name was Cassie and I thought, "Well, that's a funny name, Cassie. It reminds me of like Lassie, like a dog or you know, I just was laughing at I thought that was an interesting name." And I could feel Cassie um going to the other world. I felt like she was passing soon and she was very peaceful about it. And I didn't say anything to the priest afterwards because I didn't want him to think that I was just out of my mind. So I kept it quiet. But I did tell my sister cuz she knows I'm I've always had these experiences and she's somebody I could tell. So I said, "Let's keep an eye on the newspaper the next few days because she's going to pass and um let's just confirm that." So we kept an eye in the paper and sure enough within the next week, next few days I think it was. We looked in the paper and there was Cassie and her name Cassie was short for Catherine. I didn't know that at the time, but that was her nickname, Cassie. and she passed from cancer and she was there to get healing prayer from the priest and uh I felt so much peace. I never told in the family about this because it wasn't my place to say anything. I just felt there was a connection. I was there at the right time. Uh and she was very present and halfway in and halfway out. as best I can explain this, she was already on her way to the spirit world when when we met.

So, ever since I was little, I've had these experiences. Um, I could name numerous ones, but I won't make this too long, but um, with my brother, uh, I was aware that he was passing for months before. every time he'd turn around and walk away and I'd see his back, um, I felt this like it was like felt like a punch in the stomach. I just I couldn't say anything like my breath was being taken away and I felt like he was going away and I wasn't going to see him um again in this form and there was nothing I could do and I felt helpless. I and I didn't like knowing this and uh but I did and um my brother and I went to lunch um several months before he passed. It was a Mexican restaurant in Ventura, California. And I still remember the that day very clearly. And he I shared with him my near-death experience in the mountains. And we weren't brought up in a religious family, but he listened very intently and he listened to the experience and and I just felt this peace in him and he he just said to me without any there was just simplicity in his response and he said I believe in God and there was no theology you know like you know anything about it just it was like a child saying I believe there's more and you know and I said to him you know I don't know what it's all about, but I do know there's more to it. What appears to be

Well, a few months later, he passed in a car accident and that was just a really challenging day and I I felt like I was in a days most of the day because when he got on his motorcycle to go to his friend's house, um he didn't have his helmet and I said, "Where's your helmet?" And uh he said, "Okay, I'll go get it." So, he went and got his helmet. He had his visor up and he goes, "Goodbye. I love you." And I couldn't say anything. I felt like somebody punched me in the stomach and took my breath away. And um I just watched him. I couldn't say I love you. I couldn't say nothing. I was just like, it was such a daz feeling. And and I just watched him drive away. And I did see him again when I got my parents' car and we drove around the corner to his friend's house. and my brother and and him were standing in front of the house and they were getting ready to get in the car. His his 16-year-old friend, his dad had given him a Porsche, a Porsche for his 16th birthday. And this is a car that's hard to handle for an adult, but let alone a kid. So, my brother liked to go fast, too. There, so there's no blame here. But they both got in the car and they took off into the mountains. Well, he couldn't hold the curve. My brother was in the passenger seat and they hit a tree and my brother was gone instantly. What happened was I was at my parents house and the phone call came and they don't tell you anything on the phone, but when the phone rang before my mom answered it, I said, "Ron's dead." And it was like I wished I hadn't said it because my parents went into a pure panic and um and it just was just kind of came out and so they had to wait you know until they got to the hospital to find out for sure and uh it was just a terrible day if if you know it's the worst of the worst and you those details you know I mean if you've gone through grief you know that it's just a shock um to the whole system and the whole world falls apart and you wonder how you know life keeps going when life just stopped you know and uh it's very surreal feeling and so um a few days um after um my brother came back in full form he was on my porch as I walked to my house And I just looked at him and I said, "I can't handle this right now. It was too overwhelming." Um, I was, it's hard to put into words, but I just couldn't handle it. I was the the grief was really deep and I just said, "I can't do this right now." And he just went away really fast as soon as I said that. But that night, he came back um cuz he had a message for me. and he came back and it's like a dream but it was way more than a dream and he was talking to me and he was laughing and he was very much at peace and he was just laughing. He goes, "Well, you're right about one thing like everything else you can't even imagine cuz it's too too big to even put into a words." But he and I said, "Well, what?" And he said, "You're right about one thing." And I said, "What?" And he said, "There's more to it than what appears to be." And uh I always remember that to this day because you know for all our knowing in a human mind we can't even come close to the bigger picture um of the love and the peace and just the extent of who we really are as as beings. And so we try we try to make sense of it and and that's why you know I'm sharing the story um because it seems to bring peace to people to know that there is more and we are more and yeah but to put it into our mind is just it's not going to fit. It's it has to be bigger. And so all I can say is I do do know in my heart that we don't need a near-death experience to experience this. That each one of us has access to this this aspect of who we are by going into the silence, going into the peace and just breathing there. Let that breathe you as you sit in the quiet. And don't try to reach because there is no reaching. There's no going out. There's no going there. It's just go within and just breathe in the light and breathe out the light and and let your mind do what it does. But take your focus on your breath and breathe in the light and breathe out the light. Breathe in peace. Breathe out peace. And just let go. Surrender into that light. And you'll begin to experience this. And the thing is, you got to it's important to take the trying out cuz when you're trying, you're in the trying. You're in the in the grasping. Um there is no pushing, nor pulling, no grabbing. You just let go. Completely let go. And uh that's in that you'll you'll have a glimpse of of the expansiveness of all of it. You'll have a glimpse of that love. And I'm sure that most every person that's listening to these programs has had these experiences in glimpses. And that's that's what we get. And that when we're in a body, we get glimpses of it. And we're here for a human being experience. We're here for the contrast. And we're here to bring our light, our unique light as a face of God into the present moment when things are the darkest. Bring your light there and uh bring your kindness there. Bring your compassion. Bring your forgiveness there. You know, we we we're in a time now when the the world's challenged and we're we're apparently breaking into a new version of oursel as as as human beings and it can be chaotic. And I just say bring your light present now. Be the peace in the midst of the storm. Uh be the the kindness in the midst of the chaos. bring that aspect of you and uh it's not about it's not about being the the big teacher on the mountain. It's it's being that light in the moment with whoever you're in front of. It could be a family member. It could be a friend needing a kind word that day. It could be somebody, you know, as you're going through the grocery line, saying a smile. You don't even have to say anything, but bringing that presence of you. It's more presence of you rather than a word. But sometimes it's a word. It's gentle kindness. Um, but bring that aspect of you into the present. That's what we're here for. To bring our light, that's our purpose. People ask, "What's my purpose?" Your purpose is to love, to bring that aspect of God um into this moment right now, right here. Love the person that's right in front of you. Whatever shape or form that takes, you know.

And um so let me move into what happened after my brother's death. I super depressed. I went into one of the deepest, darkest depressions that I've ever had. And I was suicidal. Um, I went back to university. I was studying theology and philosophy at the time and I went back to school trying to go back into normal life. Um, but nothing everything was but normal. And I just couldn't get out of the depression. I, you know, my that thought of what if I would have said something different? Could I have stopped this? Could I have said something um different that would have changed the direction of the experience? and and I at this moment I was overwhelmed by that feeling. Um at this time though I realized nothing would have changed it. It was I was seeing something that was going to happen in the future and in a sense there's no stopping that. I and and people often say well is there no free will if we can see time? Yes and no. Yes and no. And when you're out of time, you see the whole picture of of it. We're in time, so we still have a choice. We're still choosing. We're making choices. To the extent that we're conscious, we're we're making free will choices. To the extent that we're not conscious, we're just on automatic and we're going with our programming. And all of us drops into a story. We drop into a lineage. we drop into many generations and here we are trying to bring our consciousness our light into this um this story of these generations. Um our work is to realize to bring consciousness light into that story for many generations forward and back believe it or not. So free will that's a that's a yes and a no. And it's interesting because a lot of these questions that people ask there is both a paradox of yes and no. It's not just one or the other.

So I was suicidal. I was ready to commit suicide. I was on the floor of my dorm room and nobody was there and I had a bottle of pills and I was just done. I was exhausted. I was just wanted to go back into the light into peace and not do this anymore, you know. And I felt I've always felt guided in my life. I've always felt the light in my life. I've always felt, if you want to call them, light beings or angels, I've always felt their presence ever since I can remember. And I heard um this light being say, "I love you." And I said back, I said, "Leave me alone. Leave me alone. And I'm done. Just get out of here. Go away." And uh as soon as I said that, I was alone. I had the perception of being alone. I was in um complete stillness and complete it was there was nothing. It was dark um and there was absolutely nothing and the be it was peaceful. It was loving but there was nothing and I was just aware of nothing no nothing. Um, it was like the best I can describe because there are no words to describe this state of being. It was like precation when when there was no things. There was nothing. It was just consciousness and stillness. And I said, "Oh, no. I want to I want to be part of the creation. I want to create. I I'm quite creative. I love to create. I love um you know, I've done martial arts for over 40ome years and I love the the not knowing and the learning and learning again and practicing and you know, it's like riding a bike. It'd be awful boring if you just got on a bike and you know how to ride it. you you take some joy in the learning and the experience of the falling and the getting back back up. That's the fun of it, you know. Um, if we were all the best Mozarts and piano players in the world, automatically it would be like what's the fun in that? So it's the fun is the joy is the creation. I love to create things. I love to um and I know I'm not alone in that, you know, and so it's that aspect that I wanted to be part of. And that was the first time that I was actually very very aware of wanting I wanted to be a creator. I want in this world. And so I I in that instance I chose to to return. It was instant. I said no, I wanted to be back. and and from that day on I never had depression again because I felt like um I was consciously choosing to be a human being. I was consciously choosing to be a creative being in this in this realm of possibilities and this realm of contrast and uh I'm here for that experience 100%. And I know it's temporary and and and um I love that aspect, you know, of it too. The illusion that we could actually die. Um we can't, but we're under the illusion illusion that we can. That there's no such thing as death. You know, there's an aspect of us that has never been born and will never die. But we get to have the opportunity of of dying which is you know it's an illusion that we will actually you know not be anymore but we are eternal but to have that experience of feeling like oh you know I'm going to die you know it's um the contrast is a gift believe it or not you know and so it it is all a gift of God all of it.

So, there's some of the stories. I've had lots more and um I've written a lot more. Um and I I just finished a book. Um I never wanted to write a book. I'll tell you that it's a lot of work and I didn't think the world needed another book. But people kept asking me to tell more and they wanted more from me. So, I did um it took me almost two years and I did write a book. It's called um into love and that's what it's all about. And um there you go. And Suzanne Geeseman did the the horror to the book and she said it felt more like she couldn't put it down and she said it felt more like a transmission. And so I write these stories but in order to inspire you in your own story and your own um coming home and surrendering to that love that's within. So you can read more about that if you'd like and you can contact me if you like. I love to to meet people and um I I have sessions for mediumship for healing. I love doing healing and I love doing mediumship and uh especially when it's helping people through grief and then I also have mentoring. So people can just come with any questions they like. So, there's three different possibilities and you can you can get a hold of me through my website that way and sign up for a session if you want to if you want more uh um of of me. And so there you go. Healingwwellness.com is the website. Sorry. Healingwwellness.com and the book is called Into Love.