Transcription
Hello and welcome, or welcome back, to my channel. My name is Christina. If you don't know me, if you do, welcome back. It's so good to have you here.
Okay, so I feel really good today, which doesn't mean anything specifically about the reading. We may move into a more emotional state here soon, but um, we're going to get started today. I'm going to use a completely different deck. I'm using the traditional Rider-Waite, which you probably see a lot of, uh, just on other YouTube channels. Haven't used this one. I don't even know if I've used this one on my channel. Anyway, enough yapping.
Okay, so we're gonna check in. I kind of want to know what's going on with you. I'm going to check in with your energy first so we can see if this is your reading or not. I'm already seeing boats. Boats come up and have been coming up, um, kind of, kind of recently. Also, you may garden, be a gardener, or have a garden, like a tomato plant outside. I have one tomato plant. It's okay. Okay. Uh, you may be someone going through heartbreak or pain. All right. Let's see what we got. We're checking in with your energy right now. We start with the Death card. Something's ending or has ended. There's almost like a triumphant energy. I don't know if that's the right word for this, but like a, like, "I'm going to stay, I'm going to stay strong through this." Like there's like an effort of like, "Oh god," now I'm getting emotional. Okay, clearly you're hurting. But you're trying hard not to. It's like, "I'm going to be okay. I got this." Even though your heart is shattering, it's like you're trying to like not save face, but like show the world, show your friends, show the people around you that you're okay. Show that person that you're okay, even if you're not. Okay. What else for you? Judgement. Okay. Queen of Pentacles and the Fool. Wow. Yeah. Chills. Okay.
So with the Judgement card, there is something that this is cracking open within you. This is there, there is something that this event that took place, which sounds like an ending of some form. I'm also hearing the death of an ego. One of you may be learning about how you're showing up. We'll get back into that. But anyway, really loud ringing in my ear. That never happens. Okay. I don't know why that's there. It's still really loud. This is something you were meant to learn something right now. You are. Okay. It's gone. You are learning something right now with this separation. We're going to get more into that. Okay. Queen of Pentacles. There's a lot of like, "Do you give a lot of yourself in relationships?" Like you give this person everything. Your, your heart, like, feel like a huge heart. Romantic. You may be like a lover of romance novels or grew up watching Disney movies, um, but have this like idealistic, like fantasy in your mind of like what love should be, and like you felt it with this person. But there's a reminder here that you are, you neglecting yourself in the process? Are you just serving others? Are you just giving your heart away and not giving any love and nurturing to yourself? We also have the Fool, but he was in reverse. Let's see. Let's see. Why is the Fool here? Queen of Swords. Okay, this shows hard conversations that either just happened or have to happen. I want a little bit more. We had other cards come out. Okay. Ah, Ten of Swords, The Lovers, and the Five of Pentacles. Excuse me, itchy eyeball.
So, with the ending, this feels like that connection, this connection that that ended. I'm sorry. It's funny that I had to like put bathing suits on them essentially with a marker because YouTube doesn't like naked people. Um, with this ending, with this relationship, the energy from the, I'm getting, I'm, I'm getting conflicting energies. It feels like, was there someone lying? Were you being lied to, or are you lying to someone else, or are you lying to yourself? I'm almost getting like anxiety of like fear of getting caught, or the fear of like when you are caught, like that kind of like deer in the headlights energy. I just inhaled my own saliva. Um, and then like an energy of like, but showing up to try to fix it, but it's a facade. Interesting. I don't know if I like this. Let's see what's going on. Tell me more about this. What's going on? Yeah. Okay. It's almost, okay. So, this could be specific to some of you, not everyone, but like, some of you may be concerned that someone is cheating on you, or was, or did. There's a lot of anxiety with it. Um, it's like you're keeping yourself. It's like your energy is withdrawing. It's like, "Can I trust you?" Maybe they did something and it ended, and now all of this energy is very like, like, "What are you feeling right now?" I'm feeling, I'm even hearing some of you, "Please tell me what I'm feeling, Christina. I don't even know." Like, there's just too much that you're blocking yourself off. There's too much to feel. There's too much to face if you were to be honest with yourself. It's like you're not willing to be honest about the situation. Oh, okay, I get it. Okay. If this isn't, is in regards to infidelity, and you don't know if they were cheating on you, or if something else happened, or if they were lying to you, it's almost like it doesn't matter if they were or weren't. What matters is if you can forgive and trust and let it go, because if you can't, then moving forward is going to be really challenging. Does that make sense? It's like you have to be honest with yourself about the reality of the situation instead of going into that romanticized version of it, like, "But this could be great." But is it actually, or is this really tumultuous? Like, "This is an amazing love." Yes, but is there any other foundation for a relationship, or is it just the love? Because sometimes love isn't enough to have a healthy, high-quality relationship. It's like, what you want, you're trying to attach to this person, but I don't know if they can give it. It's a pretty hard message for some of you. Okay.
Can we check in with your person's energy, though? I don't really feel like I fully understand yours, but I don't know if you understand yours right now. Okay. So, what's, what's going on with your person's energy? Okay, what do we have? Okay, Ten of Cups. Ten of Cups. That's not at all what the card is. Ten of Pentacles in reverse and the Eight of Cups. It's like you, with your person, it's like they wanted, they wanted stability with you. They had it, but now they're off to find something else. Kind of goes back in with like cheating energy. What's happening? Why is the Seven of Pentacles here? Why is the Seven of Pentacles here? Okay, Death. There was an ending again. Wasn't this the first card we pulled? It's almost like they ended it and you're like, "Where did this come from? Was, is there someone else?" Or like their energy shifted and changed and you're like, "What's going on? Is it someone else?" And they might be like, "No," but it's like, "Are they being honest? What's happening?" And so that's where that confusion's coming up within you. We're like, "What do I do with this?" You're, you're telling me one thing, but my gut's saying something else, and I'm really, I, like, how do we, what's happening? There's a lot of confusing energy and conflicting values. You're, you're really in your head about it. Um, it's like you feel like they're sabotaging something that could be great. What else are they going through? What else is your person going through? God, it's Knight of Swords and the Knight of Wands. Like, look at this fast-moving energy. It's like they come in, they come in hot. They might be like defensive. Like when you try to talk to them about something, they just get immediately defensive, and you're like, "That was like a, I wasn't expecting that kind of a response." Like something's going on. Again, it's like feeding into your narrative of like, "Something's going on," or "Something did go happen." Okay. Why is the Queen of Cups here? Okay. It's like the love that you were once getting from this person has been pulled away. Like they are, they have like withdrawn their love, and you don't feel loved. And again, I don't know if you're with this person or not. It kind of feels like you are, or like you're married, or you know, and something's changed. Something's different, and it's like, between fights, you're like, like, "Can I stay? Like, what is, what do I do?" It's like you're looking for clarity on, on like, what to do. Give me more. Okay. For some of you, you might notice your partner's like, kind of like getting ready and like wearing cologne and like, or perfume, and it's like, "So why are you doing that to go to a work event?" You know, again, what the, it's like they're trying to like, really hard to take care of themselves, and so you're not feeling great about yourself. Your person isn't happy in this connection, and it's like eating you both alive. It feels like you're committed to each other, and something's shifting, and so you both are trying to figure out what the, to do. Like, "What do we do with this? What do we do with this?" The number 29, like 29 years may mean something to you. They like, maybe spending more time with their friends or going on business trips more. Um, it's almost like they're unsure what they want. You're like, "Do you even want to be with me?" And they're like, "Yeah, of course I do." But then their actions aren't matching that. We need more clarity. What's happening? Are you, are you pro, are you really confused in this connection? Are you like, "Why are you hot and cold? Why are you up and down? Why are you in and out? Like, what's going on?" Okay. Okay.
So, what can we ask to like, get more clarity on the situation? Maybe advice for you, because like, where, where do we go from here, you know? Let's get some advice for you. Advice for you. Okay. Who here has back pain, lower back pain maybe on the right side, or, um, a hand injury, or like a thumb injury? Okay. Advice for you. Advice for you. Okay. One more shuffle. We'll get some advice. Hopefully find a little clarity. This is hard. This is a tough one. If you're, if, if you're the person I'm feeling, and you are sitting in this confusing space, I am feeling for you, because this is a really hard place to be. It's like you're battling all of the negative thoughts, and you're trying to stay positive, and you're trying to be like, "No, no, no." Like, "Maybe this is in my head." Like, "Maybe, you know, everything's fine," but you're, but your heart and your mind are battling. They're, they're not in alignment. They're not feeling the same things. Okay.
So, advice. Okay. Have the hard conversations. Um, but with who? Is it with your person? I know that sounds weird, but like, is it with yourself? Okay. Um, listen to your intuition. Are you romanticizing a situation that's not actually that great? There could be like, out, Oh god, I'm getting emotional. There could be outside pressure, like you, like built this up so much, like for your friends, like, "Yeah, this person's amazing," and now you're like, "This person isn't that amazing," but I love them so much, maybe they'll change, maybe it's just a phase, maybe it's just temporary. There's so much of you that's a romantic that just wants it to be beautiful and perfect. But it's, there's some healing that you need to do. There's some healing that you need to do within yourself. Like, look at the way that that this person's holding this thing. It's like, "Yes, I want this, this, this perfect, grounded relationship, you know? I want to feel like, ah," there's such a groundedness in like what you want, but is it your reality? Like, why is your armor up so high if it's so wonderful? Reminder that I'm here to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. I think there's a part of you and your person that's afraid to actually be honest about what's really going on. Um, your person kind of feels like they are, ugh, masking, avoiding. There may be like, they turn to the bottle or something to, you know, there's just secrets there. It's like you found out that they've been like, secretly like smoking cigarettes or something, and it's like, "Who are you?" Yeah. All the things that you want. It's okay. Do you believe in manifestation? Are you trying to like, manifest this like perfect, beautiful life? God, it's all about like being realistic. Oh, that's such a shitty thing to hear for a romantic. I feel you. I am a romantic. And it's like, yeah, but are you holding on to the story? Are you holding on to the dream, the fantasy that you have and want versus what is actually happening in front of you? I know that's not easy to hear. Advice. Give me advice. Okay.
Something has to end. Something's got to change because if you don't change anything, this will continue to circle. This will cycle through the same feelings, like maybe you'll feel a little bit better, and then you feel terrible again because you're not, you're not seeing a lesson yet. Oh, wasn't that the second card out was Judgement, I think, or third or something. Um, like there's something you're supposed to be seeing here. Like, have you been playing out the same cycle in different relationships over and over and over again? What's the lesson you're supposed to learn? Can we find out? Can we find out? What are you supposed to be learning right now? Let me get some, let me get, um, Oh god. Oh god. Mistakes were made. Okay. What are the lessons? What are you supposed to be learning right now? What is it that you're not willing to see, willing to face? Okay, let's get a few cards from two, both of these decks. What are you supposed to be learning right now? Okay, that's one deck. Oh god. And this deck, what are you supposed to be learning right now? 28, 27, 7, 20, and 4, 2, 9, 1, if those numbers mean anything to you. Okay. What are you supposed to be learning? Last deck here. Sorry, I keep like reacting. I'll tell you what all of this is about. What are you supposed to be learning? Last card. God. One more. One more. One more. Maybe not. Maybe they don't need one more. Okay. All right. What are you supposed to be learning? First, create boundaries. You're not creating boundaries. It seems like around like what you actually need. Like you might say like, "Okay, I'm gonna leave you if you don't, you know, to take action," and then they don't take action, and you don't leave them. You know, it's like being honest with yourself and and honoring your own word. Um, relinquish control, like trying to control the situation and turn it into something that you want it to be. You're fantasizing it to be, like, like if this person wants to leave, like why are you holding on? I know that sounds hard, but listen to your intuition, like that, you know, your head and your heart. Hawks might mean something to you, ducks. Um, you're not, you're not aligned. Your heart and your mind are doing different things. Again, you're fantasizing, but like, what's the reality? What are you actually feeling? So, there is a reminder that what if this were supposed to happen? What if this is your big lesson? What if this is where you break the cycle? What if you can give yourself compassion and love and learn from this? What a beautiful color that blue. What if you could learn from this and trust that this is perfectly right, even though it's difficult? What if you are supposed to let this go? What would that mean? How would that change you? I feel like this is going to be really hard for a lot of you to hear. Okay, last card. What do you need to hear right now? [Music] Yeah. Divine devotion to yourself. Devotion to yourself. Give yourself what you need. It's like you don't want to end it, and you know, but like, "What if they could have changed?" "What if they don't though?" Like, "What do you need?" Have you ever chosen yourself truly? And by choosing yourself, you are choosing all of what you deserve. You know, like, do you know your worth? This is tough, my friends. This is really tough. I'm sending you so much love and grounding during this difficult time. Trying to make a decision on like what's going on and like getting out of the fantasy and into grounded reality about what you actually need, and are you getting it, and will you get it, or do you have to make a different decision and walk away? Even if it's just energetically, you know, if you're not together and you're just, you're like still want it to work, like why though? Is it because of what you thought it could be? But what, what about what it actually is? I love you. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.