[Music] Dance, dance, dance! The dance. F dance, dance. We dance through the door. Yeah! Dr. Phil is getting down. He's got the best moves in town. Take a look at his sexy suit and his tie, looking so damn cute. Dancing always on his brain, dreams are riding Soul Train. Bu in the gring, he's a beast. We got doil unleash. We Dr. Phil dance, yeah, we Dr. Phil dance. Oh yeah, we Dr. Phil dance. We Dr. Phil dance through the door. We'll not the field dance. We'll not the Fi dance. Dance, dance. Thanks, guys. Love you. Dr. Phil got every flavor of person back there. What a show! Phil, Dr. Phil, Phil, Phil. Sunny in the black pack had escape. Dr. Phil, lot of fans out there. Can't even get a smoothie on at a at an abortion clinic. Sorry, I'm just just trying to. Hello there. We go. Good. That's good. We good. You saw you dancing out there for well. H, I can't. Um, I can't turn down an opportunity to to celebrate, okay? And when I come in and I see, um, first of all, you got your, uh, your CGI and your HPV and your HBO going on there's just a lot for everybody. You're talking about the hologram. I'm talking. No, I'm talking about the Holocaust. Yeah, I'm talking about the hologram that you had out front. You can. Yeah, Dana White up there and the Scolar brothers. Usually people are like, I'm with one Scolar, but you got two. Yeah, well, that's what I do. I bring brothers together. I don't know if you've been. Uh, no, I read your blogs. Yeah, you were like, how do we get, uh, how do we get, um, uh, Malcolm Jamal Warner, and, uh, and Raven Simone back together? How do you do that? Yeah, how do you do that? And she's not a brother, she's a sister, but they played brother and sister on The Cosby Show. You know, Cosby doing stand-up again? Yeah. I'm exhausted. Yeah. Well, I'm on Atkins, but also was epic, and I had a fent all brownie about an hour ago. Well, thank you for preparing. I like to roll the dice. Life is short. You got to, you got to. What? No, I think I love that you're prepared and you care and you're here. Well, I love, uh, I love the, uh, the carpet you've rolled out. The smooth. Rich got me a smoothie. You've got a guy that looks like Kiefer Sutherland's Dad back there. Kiefer Sutherland's dad. All you got to do is cut to him. You know, which one? C. Kiefer Sutherland's dad. It's a guy with white hair. Yeah, there we go. Rich wins. Uh, yeah, welcome back to Who Gives a [ __ ]? Yeah. Oh, it's the, yeah, the Tommy, Tommy, move up, Tommy, move up, Tommy, move up. You look like you own Tommy Bahama, but you, uh, invested in a holl notes Bitcoin. Lean down, lean down, bend down. What's his name? Harvey. Tommy, Tommy. Yeah, you look like you're slowly [ __ ] your pants outside of a Southwest lounge. We've all done that. You know, Southwest Airlines. He looks like he flies Southwest, but you got to check in early on Southwest, 'cause if you get C group, you're thrown to the wolves, and that's creature city. You're, you're around the rest of the Walmart narn community. And I don't hate, but I do judge. I'm a human being. I judge too. And I've once boarded a Southwest flight. I know you do. Yeah, but you're judging like, you know, Peric, who can mime, or, um, I once saw, what is it, a dwarf put a put a balloon up his, uh, up his, uh, well, he put a balloon somewhere that it's not designated, uh, for, uh, but it blew, and then he sang show tunes. Or I don't even seen the show, but did I enjoy it? But, uh, you had a great time. You're good at making people feel great. Yeah, you're the Tony the Tiger of, uh, of American, uh, great. There it is. Yeah, there it is. That, but let's be honest, they're just fine. Okay. I've had Frosted Flakes. I'm more of a Honey Nut Cheerios guy. I'm more of a nut guy, but not allergy, but when I like to come a lot, but I, but is it, is my mom watching? No, but my daughter is. This is my daughter. Oh, great. To be honest with you, I didn't know you were [ __ ] here until just now. Yeah, so maybe, maybe chime in every once in a while. Instead, think I get staring at me like Nordstrom mannequin. Jesus Christ, I can't get a word in. Do you know, you know, there's gay mannequins now? Yeah, no, I did not know that. You knew that? Yeah, that what makes. Just doing my favorite Seinfeld bit. What is a gay mannequin? I don't know. I wish there was a punchline to that. I don't know. What's Carvey? Harvey, Harvey, Harvey. What's his name again? Tom. Oh, Jeff Bridges' dad. Who's that guy? Alan Bridges. Tom, you know, Tommy was actually my first friend when I moved out to LA. He was the bartender at The Comedy Store. Was he really? Yes, he was in 1978, '77. So Tommy made a, a peanut colada for Hoy Mandel. He made a, a Roman Coke for Roseanne. Right. He made a, a Diet Dr. Pepper Dorito milkshake for Jay Leno. Yeah, yeah. Tommy, what was your favorite drink and who'd you make it for? Tommy, he's not listening to the show. Tommy, I think it's time to take your meds and also time to check your watch because we're running out. What was your favorite drink for who did you make? Tommy, [ __ ] squat down like a normal person and what's your [ __ ] going to answer this question? Jesus Christ. There we go. Hey, good to see you. He's a cockeyed. He's a [ __ ] TI. Yeah, you look like you represent the Muppets. What's going on right now? Tommy, I'm representing the Muppets. There we go. Tommy, who, who was your F? Okay, Tommy, who's your? Picked up on that right away. Tommy, I love you. And did you go to the groundlings because your yes and ability is, uh, it's a, it's top tier. Tommy, when you're at The Comedy Store, what was your favorite drink to make and and for who? 'Cause a lot of legend. Long time ago, man. I, I really don't. Yeah, well, rack your brain, pothead, and think about a time when you were alive and the comedy was as well, you know what I'm saying? 'Cause we're talking Sunset Boulevard, we're not talking Hoodie and the Blowfish cover bands. We're talking things that people give a [ __ ] about. Tommy, so take a moment, take a breath, take your thumb out of your ass, shave your head, your back, your [ __ ], and your crack. We'll be right back. We'll keep her right here. Tommy, answer the goddamn question before I have a spaz attack and join the band and leave my family. Dr. Dr. Phil [ __ ] Phil black. Yeah, we'll keep it right here. Sunny and the who black pack. Okay, don't easy with that. Did you look at them? No need to bring RAC. They are. Look, look at them. Okay, so we got two Filipinos. I don't know. And I don't think we have a Filipino there. Well, who's the guy on the far left? That's Sunny. Sunny, Sunny. I thought that was Joe Koy. Who's the guy in the far? Who's the? Okay, we got Joe Koy. Be on the keyboard. Okay, we got, uh, we got the, the guy, the, the guy in O-Town, but they were like, we can only have five. And then, and then to his right, uh, I don't know, it's just some guy named Craig who works at Target and says the N-word under his breath. And then, who's, and then to the right, we've got, uh, Tia. She Tia Carrere from Wayne's World. Oh, wow. Not her, but she gets, every, every time she goes into a Dunkin Donuts, they go, "Oh my God, are you Tia Carrere?" And she goes, "No, my name's just Susan." And they go, "Well, now we're both upset." So she's constantly bumming people out for her lack of Tia Carrere notability. And then, uh, to her right, we've got Rufio from Hook. First of all, shout out to The Lost Boys. Shout out to the found boys and the lost and found, uh, at every YMCA, because there's a butt plug and a child without a family looking for, uh, some hopes and dreams. C, cut back to Rufio one more time. Rufio, into the mic, say "Bangarang," and then throw up a couple, uh, throw up a couple double deuce, uh, uh, you know, fish horns for me. Have you seen? Do you know? Yeah, yeah, okay. All right, we're probably not going to use that tape, but, yeah. Have you seen Hook, or are you just constantly playing Xbox and talking [ __ ] to to kids in Israel? What's your name again? Who? Which one? Do you know your name? Rufio. Yeah. Eric. Great. All right, we'll edit this out. Had, had Che. We've, we've all forgotten who we are. It's a part of being a human. Part of being a human being is going outside, uh, putting one foot in front of the other. You want to get up with the sun and go to bed with the moon, but sometimes you take naps during the day. You know what I'm saying? I do know what you're saying. Dr. Phil, do you have a vice? Howie, do I? Yes, I do. All right. I have no. I've actually got one. Send me a link. I don't need to hear it. It's a metal thing where that holds wood. FL when. That's not a device, it's an actual vice. Okay. I have a vice. Yeah, yeah. I use it in the workshop, in the wood shop. What is it? Uh, what's it called? Is there a, uh, a name for? Do you, are you sick? You just. I'm a germaphobe. Did you just? Well, I'm an Ashkenazi Jew. I mean, what are we doing right now? Are we doing an improv, or are we having a conversation? Yes. And there we go. You're good. I am. How have you ever wanted to shut down an improv? You know what I'm saying? Have you ever wanted to deny somebody a connection? How do you do that? Do that. Let's do that. Look, okay, now to prove a point, let's do an improv. Let's say you and I are at a Panera, okay? We're at a Panera, and I'm getting a broccoli cheddar soup, and I know the guy behind the counter, not because, uh, not because we've done anything, uh, outside of, uh, the office, but because, uh, I've seen him, and he's seen me. He's seen me on TV, and I've seen him, uh, uh, serving up people, uh, sandwiches and soups, okay? And I want, yeah, this is a long setup. I want, I want an extra spoon for the soup because, uh, I brought my son's best friend, and I said, you know what, let's share the soup. I don't care. So you're the kid, you're the manager of the Panera, and you found out that the young kid behind the counter gave an extra spoon to me, and at first you're like, "Well, [ __ ] that noise, you can't do that." And then you realize that I'm a celebrity and say, "It's fine." Scene. Hey, can I get a, uh, extra spoon for my soup? Wait, who are you? Are you the night manager? Is he the manager, or is he the? Am I the kid? Is he the kid giving you the soup, or manager? Am I your son's friend? I knew this setup wasn't great. I, I, it's you. I think the setup wasn't. No, I think I'm the son's friend. All right, let's change. Let's. How come I don't have a? How about this? Let's change the subject. How come I don't have a spoon? Let's change the. Have you seen Alzheimer's? Let's change the subject. I don't want to. I hear the audience sings. I don't like. What is it, musical? Don't people sing? What? I think that's Wicked. I always get those two movies mixed up. You know what movies I get mixed up? No, uh, Sophie's Choice and Two Girls One Cup, right? I have a fact about that. About two girls one. Okay, what's your fact about which one? Two Girls One Cup. Two Girls One Cup. It better be a fun fact. You got to show stuff to the kids. Yeah, well, do you remember the first time you saw it? She remembers. I do. You know what's so crazy? Everyone remembers. She didn't want to do her drinky cup. She didn't want to use her drinky cup when she was a little sippy cup. And so we showed her the video. That's that's actually not bad parenting. Do you want another fun fact? No, I'm all right. Howie, when you were a kid? Yeah, of course. I to please. Let's do it. Okay. One of the women after that passed away. The other one went to prison. I don't know any more information after that. Wait, I'm going to need a L to get confirmation on both of those. Am I your son's friend? Yeah. I was. Would I want a spoon? I a spoon at this point in the improv show, the audience has left, but the improv isn't over. No, it's never over. It isn't. Laugh is one big improv. Who said that? You. We were just sitting here. No, who said it? Tom Selleck. Really? You know what? I took a beat, and that's the first name I could think of. That's on me. You didn't even. You. That's on me. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. I accidentally. Well, that's fun. You know, I've got a, you know, I've got a Harry Potter fog machine allergy. I'm sorry. No, I'm just kidding. That's that's another Seinfeld bit I'm doing. What, um, okay, so let me. I'm SC. This is taking me back to my theme park days, by the way. Are you two? Are you two thrown off? I'm a little thrown off, but it's okay. You did not know that when you were coming on here that this is my podcast? I do with my daughter. Well, I didn't. I knew you had a podcast. I knew you had a family. I don't know when they would combine. And the reason I wanted you to come on here, not only because I'm a fan, and not only because, but I wanted you to. Well, you've come on my show, and I, I appreciate that at the Comedy Store where you started your entire journey, and you ripped it. People still talk about that episode. Howie, don't you think that Dr. Phil sits cross-legged in a in a chair? I'm not even sure I'm cross-legged. I just got a whiff of, uh, that Abercrombie and Fitch unicorn [ __ ] juice or whatever you shot at at me. Where do you get the time to put a fog under her chair? Follow up. How much does it cost? Because my wife, Robin, shout out, 48 years of meritable bliss, but I'm trying to keep it fresh, okay? And there's only so many times I can wear a mask of Tony Robbins, uh, to to let her know that I'm, I'm here for her. So what I thought is maybe open the bathroom door, a hot mist of muggy [ __ ] like you just had comes out, and then that's when the, that's, and then you reveal, you know, everything that's going on. You can sleep on it. You don't have to answer. No, I don't want to sleep on it. I feel like you do show her that you're there for her a lot. You promote her stuff all the time. I try to. Yeah, well, you gotta, you gotta be supportive without being her podcast. Well, she comes to every one of his shows. She's there. And then at the end of the show, he grabs her hand and walks her out. Yeah, it wasn't my idea. It was, you know, producers. I know, but I always. I was always concerned that your wife's there, but has she, has a shitty seat? She's always like, way in the back. Well, yeah, I don't. There's no nepotism, or I don't. I don't play favorites. You know, even when my family hits me up and go, "Can we, you know, come visit?" I go, "Yeah, you can get a [ __ ] hotel, though. You know, there's a Holiday Inn down the street." Are you, you're coughing again? Are you? It's not monkeypox. It's not bird flu. It's not HPV. Okay. All right. It's not herpes. It's not gingivitis. Well, I went to WebMD. Are you wearing a hospital bracelet? I am. Yeah. [ __ ] Oh, the all the cool kids are doing it. How to go to that.com. Give all the new trend. Were you discharged, or should you be here? We've all had some discharge. I went to a Seal concert once with a girl who was, let's just say, on the bigger side of things. And no. You took a breath like you wanted to add some to that story. No, I don't want to interrupt. If I had a dollar for every time Howie Mandel interrupted my Seal stories, I'd have about 15 books. Did you see Seal on the, uh, my favorite commercial of all time? Mountain Dew. Pretty good drink. Seal, amazing artist. So, you know, Seal makes Mountain Dew better. Better, not the other way around. That's a good point. I didn't even think of that. Did you see it? I did see it. He shouted, incredible. The song was funny. That was it was great. I love Seal because he says, "We all, uh, we're never going to survive unless we get a little crazy." He said that. He said that in one of his songs. Not in the Dew commercial. No. Oh, okay. I didn't know. I don't know a lot of people. I don't do impressions, but you get the gist. That's not true. I do do impressions. Here's Jason Statham finding out that he parked his car in a handicap spot at a Target and now the manager's coming out and told him he's got to move. Here's Jason responding to that. I can also do, uh, here's Raven Simone finding out that her Air1 order was her. What? Air1? The smoothie, uh, factory. They, uh, that she ordered a smoothie and someone else grabbed it. Okay, uh, Raven. Here, we gave you a smoothie away. [ __ ] not bad. You know, an impression of two people too. R. Sometimes you got to get both sides of the coin to get, you know, the full scope of the situation. What's the person's name that worked at the smoothie counter at Air1? Carolyn. Okay. Do I have this? Do is the spoon for me? Let's backtrack. Okay, and by that, I mean, let's get back to the root of the problem. We're at rock bottom right now. How are we going to get to rock top? I will. Do you want underpants? Dr. Phil, do I own any? No. Do you want? Well, you can answer that for. I like to go, uh, Suburban Commando as much as possible. Suburban Commando? Yeah, the movie with, uh, no, I like that. Hulk Hogan. I used to glue those little plastic houses from Monopoly all around my testicles. I did that. Why? Because I wanted to be in the. I wanted to have a called the sac. We'll be right back. Okay, no, but Dr. Phil, pH. That was my dad's joke. Phil, Joe Koy in the Rat Pack, huh? Joe Koy. I have man-made underpants. Get the. There ain't nothing you can't do. I would take a pair of those. You want? What size are you? Dr. Phil. Well, that's a personal question, but extra large. What you want? He made them. Do you think he made them 'cause he's said man-made? No, they're shop. Their little boys are making them somewhere. Adam's. These are made. These are Canadian underpants. I love that. So who you got to give one to? Ryan Reynolds and Cheryl Crow and Justin Bieber. Cheryl Crow is Canadian. Easy. That's a Seinfeld bit. Okay. See that? Aren't they amazing? You want bigger size? No, this will fit at least one ball. No, but I give you underpants. No. Now, Howie, when did you decide to come out with underwear? 'Cause you got it. Mandel Underpants. It's man-made Underpants. Nelson Mandela made Underpants. Nelson Mandela made Underpants, and he kept them. We keep them. Those are kept in a cell for over 35 years before we release them. So they're like the wine of underpants. Oh, and once you put them on, your nuts will be free and and and brought together. Well, because the biggest problem with testicles is that they're always trying to descend, ascend, and transcend, uh, where the penis is supposed to be, right? Is that your problem? Raise your hand if you've got a dick. Tommy. Tommy. See that hand up. Two. All right. Well, Tommy's got two dicks. Welcome back to, you know. Do you know? Have you had people on the show that are [ __ ]? Oh, yeah. We've had [ __ ] armless, legless, clitless, boobless, headless. I don't like to discriminate, uh, as far as who you are and what you've been through, right? You know, because everyone's got an issue. I talk about that in my book. Chapter 27. How do you find out who you are unless you don't know where you're from? That's why I don't. I smells like Ryan Reynolds. I smelled Ryan Reynolds at a red carpet once. I went up to him and I said, "First of all, can I smell your finger?" And he said, "You don't want to." And I said, "Hey, ain't gonna hate the play or the game." But I smelled it. You know when he fell asleep? Ryan Reynolds. What do you do? Do you have any input on Blake? Oh, no. Oh, yeah, that's right. He's going through some drama. His wife is going through drama with that, uh, no, and him too. He's going. And look, Blake, I'm not a big drama fan, even though Johnny Drama and Entourage is my favorite TV character and Franklin Abbott is my favorite TNT Drama, but drama outside of the TV realm, oof. I, I got an appetite for it. Blake, I love this drama. Let's talk about it. Who, whose side are you on? Well, Baloney looks like a, what, what's the word? A [ __ ]. I want to punch him right in the taint and tell him to stop talking like you haven't done some [ __ ]. You know, he's got a past. We all do. You know, right? But I think he's a little too, um, what's the word I'm looking for? I don't know. Uh, he's got like a. You ever remember going to school with that kid that always like, you know, raised his hand real quick in school for extra credit, but then he also like hit on the recess teacher? Remember? And she was like 35 and he was 12, right? But she still was like, "Well, you know, my husband's going to be gone next week, so maybe come." Remember? Make I play kickball? But, oh, now I remember. Yes, I do remember. Baloney was the hot kid that could [ __ ] a teacher. So he's got that in his head on a movie set, which is, as Mo said, Kai. Yeah, so there's, there's, there's never, there's never a time that I don't question, right? Society, life, my order at McDonald's. You know, sometimes you get that fry back. I order a single fry 'cause, you know, gluten, right? And sometimes there'll be a little pube on the fry, and I go, "I know it came from in there, but now what do I do about it?" And that's a metaphor for life. If there's a pube on your fry, you do what? Tommy, Tommy, great. Thanks, Tommy. Let's get a mic on Tommy. Maybe a Tom. Maybe a Gatorade Zero, Tom. Come on up. Tom. Stand up. Join, join the show for a couple seconds. Tom, you're not here to fill space, okay? Is that it? Answer the question. What was the question? It's all right now. So there is no. It was it was a. What's your? What do you do if there's a, a pube on a fry? Tom, you do what, uh, you, uh, you track it down. No, you're not a cop doing a guest star role on The Shield. Tom, you're, you're, you're a guy in a car, and you've been given a snack with a problem. Mhm. Yeah. What's the problem? Tom, what are you want? Right. He doesn't view a cube on a fry as a problem. Cube on a fry is not a problem for him. If not a problem, you know what it is. But your son's friend without a spoon? Well, that guy's that guy's going down. That's a problem. That's a problem. Thanks, Tom. Okay. Yeah. Okay, Tom, when's the last time you went to a Best Buy and what did you get? Printer ink, or like a Tom Hanks three, 3D DVD combo pack? Tom looks like the guy when he finds out online that they've got Cast Away, Turner & Hooch, and, um, um, A League of Their Own, yeah, in one pack, right? Tom goes, "Looks like I got to go to Best Buy." I don't do voices, but that's exactly. Tom, that's exactly. How do you know? You just met him today, yet you have him. I've got a little bit of clairvoyance going on here. It's amazing. Little bit of clairvoyance going on here. Amazing. That's he. Hey, hey. And you said you don't do impression. You said you don't do impression. That's amazing. Hey, I'm Tommy. Hey, they named a burger place after me. Hey, hey, come on now. Hey, you want to stay in my garage? No, I'm just kidding. I don't have a garage. Tommy, Tommy says his own name as he, uh, I didn't get the, I didn't get your take on. So you, you're on Blake Lively's side? Well, that's a tough one, Howie, because she's also, uh, bringing some heat, you know, but, but, and it's a cold day where she's at. She's the kid that that wore a rain jacket when it was 85 degrees just so people would go, "What's that [ __ ] all about?" You know, right? So she's looking for it. She's asking for it. She enjoys the hot tea, uh, but she's allergic to lemon. Does that make sense? It doesn't have to. I get it. You do. Yeah. Thank you. Explain it to me later. Do you have any input on? You'll get it on the drive home. I will. Go ahead. Do you have any input on what's going on right now with Bad Baby? I think there's a, a time and a place to discuss that, but I think what, uh, what her issue is, is that every day I meet somebody with a [ __ ] up face. You ever go to a gas station at like 10:00 AM and you go, "I'll get some condoms." Go down to the YMCA, hand them out to the staff, right? Most people that work at a YMCA don't have a lot of extra funds lying around, right? And condoms aren't cheap. I don't know if you've been to an M recently, but I haven't. Butterfingers are up. Milk is up, obviously, even though what, you know, Joe Biden, what he say? There was that famous quote where he was like, "Yeah, hey, Pop-Tarts are gonna be cheaper." I forget. And then Trump came in and was like, "Do, uh, Strudels are going way down again." I don't watch the news. And then Kyla was like, "Millions of them." I worked at a McDonald's. And then JD Vance was like, "So it was her pubic care. It was her pubic care." We'll be right back. We solved the case. We did. Uh, what I was gonna. No, no, not him. It's Bonnie Blue. Bonnie Blue. Yeah. Thanks, Rich. You got Bonnie Blue. Wanted to come in. Yeah, I'll take a whole pack of those man-made. Congrats. This is not underpants, by the way. Muscle. And a happy early Passover because when you get, uh, YouTube, when you, you got a YouTube plaque. Mhm. How many subscribers? Uh, that's a smaller one, huh? That's 100,000. It's a big deal. Thank you. Did you ever think you'd do that? No. When you were, uh, on the set of Bobby's World, yeah, as a young boy, yeah. Did you ever think you'd get 100,000 YouTube subscribers? Never. Never. It's a big. I never thought that, but you believed it. You dreamed it, and it happened. You got a speech prepared? No, 'cause it's. I'm surprised. It's a big deal. Am I here for the expecting? Yeah, well, I guess you are. Well, it's like being in a glory hole 15 minutes before the gag gets there. Wow. Thank you. Depending on where you were raised. Yeah, yeah. Wow. What a, what a great honor. That's really fantastic. I'll give you one man standing. Go. Yeah. What, what are your thoughts on that? Uh, I said no to her. What are your thoughts on that, Bonnie Blue? Do you know who she is? Bonnie Blue is the girl that had sex with 1,57 men in 12 hours. Holy [ __ ]! Thought you were going to say 12 years. 12 hours. 12. Yeah. And she used the same vagina. Yeah. And they all had one dick. There were no two-dick Tommies coming through. Tommy, Tommy, were you one of the place? Can you imagine if Tommy was the last guy, like, 'cause you're tired? Let me just say this. I, I've, I've had my fun, okay? Pre-marriage, I was, I was not a freak in the sheets like Adina Howard, right? I was, I was a guy that had a game. Who's Adina Howard? Adina Howard sang the song "Freak Like Me." It was popular in like 1994. You know, you when you be driving around the C of Sax and you see a fat kid crossing guard, and he was rapping, he was usually singing to Adina Howard. Be a freak until the day, until the dawn. I know. And we could bump, bump, till the. Yeah, it's the only Black song I know the whole lyrics to. That's a Black song. Well, let's ask Joe Koy. Joe Koy is not Black. Well, not with that attitude. All right, so the point is, if you're in line, I've been in line at Baskin Robbins, and they've been like, "We ran out of mint chocolate chip." Imagine if you're waiting in line and and you hear like a guy yell something like, "I was the biggest," or, you know, "She's she's getting tired." You know, you hear something you don't want to hear, right? But you're, you're, you're 10 guys from the end. So she's been there for 9 hours, right? How many minutes did each guy get, or seconds? 30 to 40 seconds each. And did they finish? Not necessarily. So some did. So does she have like a, you know, like in movies or a commercial? Let's say you're in a Burger King commercial, right? And I got a spoon, and you're the my son's friend trying to do a callback to the B. No, no, I get it. Get it now. I, I've got the spoon, right? My point is, you got the spoon, and you're eating, you're eating Wendy's chili, okay, at a Burger King, and you know how like, let's say you're, and fries. Let's say you're on. Take any hair on it. No hair on this one. Kyla, Kyla doesn't go here, but let's say that you're eating like your 15th chili, and for every take you don't want to eat it, someone comes over and you spit it up into a into a napkin, right? Right. And they go, "All right, let's reset for the ho's, uh, 16th chili bite." Do you think that's what the girl did with all the ooze? You know what I'm saying? 'Cause if people were going inside of her, there's no way you can hold it all in. You know, I don't know. Let me ask my daughter. What do you think? I think they were wearing a condom. I don't think they have to wear a condom. I didn't even think about that. They were wearing a condom. They have to. I think that's a prerequisite. Yeah, 'cause otherwise, then it's so she didn't have to hold anything inside. Thank goodness. Is that [ __ ] up? That that's my first thought. I mean, I am a father, but I'm also a patriot, right? Now, on the flip side, has a guy with a guy take 1100 guys, like, you know, equal rights here. Women with a strap-on. There we go. Let's flip it around. Talk about it. What are, what's the most, uh, how many, uh, people have you, you had sex with the most in, in, uh, like a certain amount of time? A 12-hour span? Yeah. One. Right. Don't you make me laugh? My most. Das will fall off out. No, no, I know, but, uh, well, one. The good news is there were no sloppy seconds. One. Well, look, there's a Fleshlight count. Yes. Okay, then one. Okay, then that's fair. One. And but look, I, I, I'm not saying I haven't thought about it. We've all thought about it. You know, I don't think I could do it. No, I couldn't do. Well, again, it, you know, sometimes 24-Hour Fitness closes at 11, right? That's correct. That's correct. So, you know, could you take 12 hours worth of worth of wieners? Probably. Do you need to? No. What it Bobby always say? Don't you know I'm in trouble now? I just had a flash to Bobby walking in on that happening and with like his PlayStation controller on his sister, on his sister, on his sister, and she said, and he sees it, but she, he's, he's not supposed to know that she had her boyfriend over. Why is there still 300 kids outside? Why is there still 300 kids outside? El is mother. And why is the floor all sticky? What are you doing? Don't tell Mom, Bobby. That's pizza. What, what is all over you? Wow. Cut that clip and submit it to the academy. I'm in trouble. That's his new C. Bring Bobby's World back, and he, I will. He gets to see the world now, right? Through a different lens. He still got that voice, but he's a teenager. Bobby was old on the original program. Four. Oh my God. 14-year-old Bobby now. Oh my God. It's like bringing back to church. Blue. Bonnie Blue. Bonnie Blue. Everyone, I'm quitting my show and I'm putting all my attention towards bringing back Bobby's World with 14-year-old Bobby with a different set of goggles to look at laugh through. He's going to New Orleans with his stepdad, you know what I'm saying? He's taking a hot air balloon ride to to to Mar-a-Lago, you know, we don't know if he's a fan. He just wants to see what it's about. That's amazing. Yeah, I love you because you're always thinking, always. You're always. Do you, at your age, Dr. Phil? Sure. Do you not? Where do you get your energy? Like, what gives you the energy? Why? Because you've made it. You've made a fortune. You got everything, uh, a man could want. Got a hot tub, got a steam shower, got, uh, the newest Super Nintendo that's not even out yet. That's where that's where I kind of. I got on Teemu. So it probably didn't work, but what, how did you feel? I got on Teemu. That worked. How did you feel about going to the border? I saw you, uh, a couple months ago at the border, sure, with our border. I forget what his name is. Do you know what the border's name is? Do you remember what his name is? You Craig or Mike? Yes. Yeah, uh, it was, um, look, again, I'm always curious to see what's going on, right? Um, you know, you ever been to a Buc-ee's in Alabama, right? You know Buc-ee's, the gas station? They got the big gopher as like the mascot. They've got brisket sandwiches and butt plugs. It's like a one-stop shop for everything you don't want, but you kind of need, right? Butt plugs and brisket. Sure. That's the name of, uh, Tommy's Atlantis. Morset. Uh, oh, there's Buc-ee's improv group. Buc-ee's. Yeah. Oh, it is. And is that a beaver? That's what she said. She did say that, actually, but it was her first time seeing one. Okay, Buc-ee's. Go ahead. So this is, uh, so I went to buy for the border. Buc-ee's, you know, OnlyFans. There's a lot of places. Yeah, yeah. You, you go. What's that all about, right? You take a trip. I had a mac and cheese portable in the car. I'm sorry, big Kraft mac and cheese guy. Really? We had a Dr. Phil live at The Comedy Store where Howie was for our show last week with Mark Mayer and Johnny Knoxville. He did a dick slap contraption on me because I told him my biggest fear is being on America's Funniest Home Videos and having Alfonso Ribeiro, uh, raz me, not being able to take a, a slab to the dick, right? Like a, like a trap. Well, he had a, a floppy sandal on the edge of a thing and then a compression air gauge, and it smacked, and then you hit a button, and it smacks you in the penis. And right in the penis. And I took it four or five times, and we set it to a gauge that I felt comfy with, and then Johnny, little crazy son of a [ __ ], turned it up, and not for the live show. And let's just say one of the nuts went around the block and came back to, uh, to pour some lemonade for the family, and it was, uh, it was an awful experience. I'm sorry I missed that. Is that going to be on Netflix? 'Cause I know you're on Netflix. I watched you. I appreciate. We've got a Netflix Dr. Phil Live at Le special, but the rest of the shows, uh, uh, at the store, or our big national tour, where you can go to my agents, Adam RC comedy.com for all the tickets. Big theater tour. We're doing the Chicago Theater, 3500 already sold out. We got MGM Music Hall in Boston, 4,100, 98% sold out. And we got guests coming all over. We're doing Meridian, uh, Hall in Toronto. Wow. Isn't that where you got circumcised? Or it is where I got circumcised, right? Let's. My parents. A clip of my circum. We don't have the clip. No. Do you have it? Does anybody have it? Tommy, Tommy, here. Hey, Tommy, look at you staying in the chair. That's what we call the learning how to participate. But, uh, and on your tour, yeah, you, you bring special guests. Special guests. It's, it's wild. We had, uh, in San Francisco, we had Richard Kind, Adam DeVine, Brad Williams, some propo. We had a proposal. Veg. We had a Ken Jeong come out as Mr. Chow and do that live for the first time with Crasher. Paulie Shore came out of a magician's giant book and told a couple what kind of baby they were going to have. Wow. And then we had a gender reveal. Yeah, he comes out and he came out of the book, he was grinding the wall, all Polly style, and I go, "Paulie, what, what are they going to have?" And he opened up the envelope. They didn't know, right? They got it that day. And Paulie goes, "Congratulations, you're going to have a beautiful trans baby." No, it's a boy. So it's very anticlimactic, but they were fired up. Yeah. Um, and that's all on. So when people come see Dr. Phil live, at the guests aren't announced. The shows sell on the show, and then the guests are all surprises. So, so you know, we got Atlanta coming up, we got Nashville, we got two in Dallas, we got Boston, Kansas City, Indianapolis. We'll put, we'll put the, uh, on the, in this, uh, episode, Jeremy. We'll put it, we put it on the, like they'll be able to click on something, right? Jeremy? Yes. Thanks, Jeremy. Hey, Jeremy, when, when you're, when you're not here, how many dates are you, uh, traveling with My Chemical Romance? How many, like, 10? Wait, wait, wait. He's also switching the camera. You got to be able to talk and switch the camera to yourself at the same time. Jeremy, Jeremy, finish this lyric for me. "Cut my life into pieces." That's what's up. Okay. All right, let's just cut to a commercial. Is that, is that right? Was that right? I don't know. He's on a Plan B gummy or something. Which, by the way, I once got a Gushers mixed up with a Plan B gummy and diarrhea. Sorry, another Seinfeld bit. Go ahead. I, I, so I have the, I have the spoon, right? You have the spoon. I have the. Howie, you're great. Do you want to see? Do you want to see, um, uh, uh, the end of Shanghai Knights? I wanted, speaking of the end, I wanted to show you, um, I got in trouble for this for many year, for a long time on TikTok. I posted the prolapse. Are you, are you familiar with that? Oh, I love. I loved when you did that. I love when you post anything because you're, uh, you got your finger on the pulse of what's happening. I didn't have my finger on anything, but, but, uh, H3. Have you been on H3? Have you been on, uh, Ethan Klein's podcast? No, but I've seen him. Yeah, so he, he showed me what I didn't know what it was, and, and we stole a video from him, and just as, as somebody who studies humanity, yeah, and know, I want to show you this video, and I want you to comment on it. I'd love to. One of my favorite things to do is to lie in bed and, uh, do commentary over videos. Right. I used to as a kid, mute the TV and commentate along with the baseball games and say things that the commentators can't say, right? Like there'd be a double play, and I'd go, "Look at that. Those guys, those guys are, you know, double play, double, double penetrate." You know, double, double pun. I get it. I get it. I, this, you know, but that's why I never made it. We're not allowed to show this to the people at home, but you could describe it. You can explain it. You want me to describe it? Like Pat O'Brien? I don't know what you. I just think as a doctor and as somebody who is well-read and well-versed in humanity and what's going on, I saw this. I didn't even know that this was something that existed. I didn't know that it was even, uh, possible. And, uh, I just want you, Dr. Phil, to look at what I believe to be impossible and try to describe it to our viewers and watchers. Great. Rufio, have you ever seen a video of a PR? Go back to Rufio. Yes. Thanks, Eric. We can cut back to me. Thanks, Jeremy. Okay, Jeremy, good job. That is it. That was great. That's how that's how you, uh, he's switching a lot now. Yeah, it's like he's a regular Freaky Friday over here. Okay, so here we go. Uh, roll the, uh, R the tape. Roll a tape. Roll a tape. What do you see? Can you see it? Look under the table. Look on. I'm not joking. This is a real reaction. What do you, but what is that, Dr. Phil? What am I? He's not explaining it. They're not explaining it. They're just hearing. There's a, there's a hand. Oh, I'm not joking. This. I don't know. Huh. I'mma close my eyes and just remember what I saw. He put his hand in. Now they're rubbing. They're, oh, oh, they're rub rubbing a couple of Beanie Babies up against each other. They look like meatballs from the Olive Garden, or I think one's a butt and one's a [ __ ] butt. Oh, [ __ ] no. There's no [ __ ]. Oh, it's just guys. Okay, now he's playing with it like it's a stress ball, and there's the Taco Bell dog, and now we're somebody's Bar Mitzvah party. All right, okay. That was a weird compilation. How you're some [ __ ] up [ __ ]. No, it's not me. H3 gave me that video, but I posted it. I posted that picture up there. What you see that picture up there? I posted that during COVID thinking I didn't know what it was. COVID was a time to explore, accept, and deny. COVID gave everyone a chance to go, "Maybe I am into prolapsed anus videos." Right? But it also gave you a chance to go, "I miss my dad." Sorry, it's another Seinfeld bit. Is, uh, is that video out there for the public? No, it got taken down. No, I didn't have that video. I never had that video. I put up a picture of that. You see right there? I put up a picture and I asked if this is COVID related. I thought it was like a muffin, a wet muffin on the back of somebody's pants. That's okay. And Ethan Klein brought me on his thing, and he showed me that video. That guy live doing that live. That guy was in the studio doing it. Can I be honest? I never want to see that video again. Here's my impression of Keanu Reeves in the movie Hardball. Ready? M. And after this, cut to Joe Koy for a reaction 'cause I know he's a big Keanu fan. All right, here we go. Cut. Do we have a solo cam on Joe, or is it just a full band? We can get. We can. Oh, oh, there he is. That's, that's a little too close, but back it up. Okay, we're going to.

If I'm driving the special ed bus, I'm backing it up, okay? Not because I parked in the wrong spot, because some kid on the bus goes, "Wrong spot!" and you got to go, "All right, let me just back up 'cause Jeremy likes to move." No coincidence, Jeremy. Uh, all right, so here's Keanu Reeves and the movie *Hardball*. Ready? And then we cut to, cut to Joe Koy for a reaction, whether it's a laugh or a cry. But if he's who I think he is, he's going to have his, have his heartstrings tugged at, because Keanu Reeves in the movie *Hardball*. Yeah, it's good. Wow.

There's only two, there's only two things that have ever made me cry: the Campbell's soup commercial with Reggie White and his mom, and the end of *Hardball*. Oh my God. I'm going to give it to you right now, okay? Do you want to do it now? Actually, which one do you want? You want *Hardball* first, or the Reggie White Campbell's soup commercial? Let's do the Reggie White so that we can, uh, and tell Joe to be, uh, be waiting in the wings. Are you ready, Joe?

Joe: I'm ready.

Great. Okay, so we're going to do the *Hardball*. We're going to do the, uh, the, the soup commercial first. By the way, Joe, Joe, is that the, the cast of the video game *Paperboy* on your hat? Who, who is that?

Joe: No, that's just Cheech.

All right, you don't have to be a dick about it. Trying to make small talk. It's all right. That's, that's all me for not. Oh, it's Cheech and Chong on. Cheech? Are you, uh, do you like to, uh, you like to get down, Joe?

Joe: No, he's a singer. He sings. So you can't, [ __ ] the pipes up.

Yeah, he doesn't want. I can tell when I walked in. Joe, not only are you, you swift on the, uh, the ivories, but, man, real melodic in the, uh, in the, uh, in the voice region. I wanted to be a singer.

Well, we'll get back to this. Here, here's Campbell's Soup. Here's Reggie White and his mom in the Campbell's soup commercial. Okay. Chunky beef. That's right. Reggie. And now here's Keanu Reeves. Wait. Well, let's get. I want to see how Joe responded to that. Great. All right. He's, he's high as [ __ ]. Yeah, you don't smoke weed. Yeah, and water's bad for you. All right, here we go. That was amazing. Here we go. Keanu Reeves at the end of *Hardball*. Actually, it's a two-part scene. So, Joe, Joe, I want you to say, Jerry, when he's saying, Joe, go to Joe. Joe, here's your line. Joe, ready? Say, uh, say, "Mr. Reeves, I forget his character's name." So just, he's Mr. Reeves in *Hardball*. Say, say, "Do you really?" It wasn't part of it. Tell him that. That was just a, that was just an improv and an ad-lib and a Mad Lib and probably a bit of a little bit of a lugie, probably a little BLT coming up to say hello. So this is your line, Joe. "We don't have the team to win." That's your line. And I'll be, and I'll be Keanu Reeves, and I'm talking to my team. This is the part that made me cry. Go ahead, Joe.

Joe: "We don't have the team to win. The toughest thing in life is to show up. I'm blown away by your guy's ability to show up."

That [ __ ] makes me cry every time I see it. Howie, thanks, Joe. That was beautiful. Pass, pass, puff, or whatever the [ __ ] you and the kids say. Doesn't smoke weed. Get the [ __ ] out of here. Beautiful. What's a beautiful scene with a beautiful guy. Keanu Reeves once gave 19 pelons to homeless guys or what? I didn't [ __ ] read the story, but he, he gives back. That's my point. He does. He's very, uh, cons to the homeless. We don't call them homeless now. You know what? What do we call them? I call them "al cart on a on house on house." All a cart, 'cause they're pushing. That was always the thing. I was like, where do you get the strength? Nonprofits. How about nonprofits? Sounds like a like a weird Jesus band, you know? Nonprofits. Yeah, with a pH. Where, uh, where would he put the pH in the word profit? P-R-O-F-I-T. But there's another profit. Not if you're not making money. But, you know, like there's profits like the, like the Bible stuff. All right, let's cut this out. Cut to a shot of Jeremy sucking his thumb or something. Jeremy, show us. Show it to us. Jeremy just gave us one of these. Either sign or a WAP it up. Why doesn't he want to be on? Jeremy, why don't you? What are you doing? We'll cut the profit stuff. No, why keep it in? You're not cutting the profit. You're not cutting the profit. The guest doesn't make decisions on what does not choose. All this is how Mand does stuff, and all the stuff that he's done, he's doing is up to how he m. Not up to the guest. The guest, or you, or Tommy, your, or even my daughter, or even your daughter, or Joe Koy, or Joe Koy. Wow. Tell. Wow. Let me just give it. Jeremy, wow, did you see the C? Howie, that is tonight's Doritos joke of the night. But it was also an amazing rant, and the way that Jeremy cut around was beautiful. You see, he, Joe Koy, Tommy, Jeremy, he's good. He's, we call him crazy. He didn't cut to anything but Jeremy. Now, every, everyone that works for you looks like they're at a strip club in Grand Theft Auto. I mean, look at Tommy. Tommy's even leaning back like he's waiting for some princess from Mario Brothers to give him a lap dance, and he's going to pay for it. And Tom, Tommy is four songs away. Tommy is four. Shut the [ __ ] up for a second, Tommy. Tommy is four seconds away from going, "You know, I can pay for your kid's school." [Laughter] I love you, Tommy. Never change. You have a bombass summer. Do you have a request for, uh, Joe Koy in the band? Oh, you like music? What kind of, what kind of music do you like? Chubba woman, tum thumping was played at my, uh, wedding. Oh, wow. Well, not original. The, we renewed our vows. That, yep. Your son has a rock band. He does. Yeah. Forget the name of it. What is it again? I forget. No, [ __ ]. All right, well, I'm a busy guy to remember everything. To know that, um, but, uh, I mean, Joe, and Joe, give me your first name. We've had some fun today, but I want the people to know who you are and what you're all about.

Joe: Sunny.

What are you all about?

Joe: Um, I don't know.

Sunny, how about this? I'll give. He lives. Laughs and laughs. I love that. M. Sunny, how about this? If I asked for a theme song, because I love theme songs, uh, *Family Matters* theme song is my favorite theme song of all time. I'll sing it in karaoke. You know, do you really? Oh, no, I'm just making. Yeah, yeah. Why would I lie to you about *Family Matters*? No, I got a theme song for you. You want to hear it? But what? 'Cause I want. And if I get rich enough, uh, Sunny, I want to hire you and the rest of the Bangerang crew to, to show up to my house. Black pack. The black pack. And make. And really. And narrate my day. I want, like, you know, I wake up in the morning, and then they start playing a song, and then I go, you know, brush my teeth. You know. Well, why don't you make a Dr. Phil theme song? I got one right now. Here we go. Ready? Here we go. Watch it. This is for you.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

Get your Co right now watching how we get your GR run now watching how we. Man, warning, this is not a drill. Here today is Dr. Phil, PhD, with the Texas drawl. Dropping truth. Mom on you all. Keeping a rer. We'll be right back. Netflix special making me laugh. Dr. Phil is judging you. He don't like your attitude. Get your pro now watching how we. Men on right now watching how we.

[Music]

Men juggling shorts. So that was for you, buddy. And that's Sunny and the Black Pack. Wow, they're great. Thank you, Sunny. That was amazing. And he just, that's not even planned. I just said, "Do something." He didn't even know you were going to be here today. No way. Absolutely. And, and he,

[Music]

Just, and he does that stuff. That might, first of all, aside from my kids being born and, uh, and when I beat *Star Fox* on Sega Saturn. Mhm. This might be the greatest day of my life. That song. The company's already been great. Rich got me the smoothie. It's all right. The band barely drank it. The, yeah, you didn't drink it. I'm a little full. You didn't drink any of it. I had four sips. It's, it's a really expensive smoothie. How much was it? I'll Venmo you. Uh, Rich. Rich looking at $19 minimum. How much was the smoothie? How much? The smoothie first. It was hard to find a smoothie in Van Nuys. It was like eight bucks. It's another Seinfeld bit. Now, there is, there is. I appreciate it, Rich. Uh, Sunny and the, and the Black Panther. These guys have, these guys have a way to recognize when fun needs to show up, you know what I'm saying? Ever go to a party? You walk. Super Bowl just happened. Everyone's having a get-together. Right. Come over. We got a pool. It's not heated. You walk. Pool's not heated. They go, "But we got a pool." So you brought, you brought your own towels? 'Cause I'm not a big used towels at someone else's place, 'cause everyone's always got a scab or a period going on, right? And they're rubbing something on it. Right now, you got to wash it. But it's their body, your body, your choice. But my towel, my house, right? Jeremy. I love that. I bring towels everywhere. Thanks, Jeremy. So, uh, there. There. I know you do, because you're a, you're a fun guy, but you're a clean guy. Am. So you go to the pool, it's not heated. They don't got any pool toys, and the dip sucks. The dip. Take your chip. You dip. But it's not. It was a, a. You got dip. It vones. The only thing you should be getting from Vones is a pregnancy test. I love you. You take what is and just kind of siphon it down to what should be. Yeah. Does that make any sense? No, but we'll edit it out. That's what Sunny, that's what Sunny, uh, and the Black Magic, uh, do is where they, they figure out what the time needs, and they just fill it up. That, my, that's my new theme song. Sunny, actually, Sunny hit me with something else. I want to give some lyrics to it. Give me a slow ballad. Sunny, give me a slow. Valentine's Day is coming up. Valentine's Day is coming up. We just say, we just had Valentine's Day, in case we heard. I got you. I know how YouTube works. So happy belated or pre-Valentine's Day. This is a song that goes out to everybody, uh, in the world who's, uh, distracted or maybe contracted something that they didn't plan on, whether it's a, a, a noodle allergy or a dick fungus. Wow. Everyone in the world has something [ __ ] up about them. That's why it's important to drum. It's important to put the cream where it's supposed to be, isn't that right, Tommy? Tommy's got an STD. Just ask his friend Jeremy.

[Music]

Who saw the picture of Tommy's wart and said, "You should probably go to Urgent Care. You've got a french fry comma pubic hair." There's no time to waste. And Howie was a great actress, but this isn't about her. It's about that time you saw the Bare Naked Ladies in Ottawa, Canada. You were sipping on a Fresca, and your teacher that you wanted to [ __ ] was two rows behind you with the new guy. He was Filipino. Didn't you know Bobby walked down his sister 15 years ago? I'll never forget what he said. He said, "Thanks, Bobby." We're adding it in. And post. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. But I didn't know that. I was. I was so. Am I in trouble? That's a Seinfeld bit. That's a share [ __ ]. There's a time and a place for love. If you want love. Beautiful. It was beautiful love, Sunny. I love that. That's my new theme. You know, and that's a song not just about preparation, but, uh, determination. Because again, Valentine's Day, whether it happened or it's about to, you got to put yourself out there, Howie. Whether it's on the app or live in the flesh. People need to meet people. I think that just like that girl that's [ __ ] [ __ ] 1500 guys in an hour. Would you like to talk to her? Sure. Is she even close? That's what one of the guys said. "10 minutes out." "10 minutes." You want. Thank you for the laughter, man. Want to take a break, and then we'll, we'll get back to it. When she gets. That's what another one of the guys said. Yeah, yeah. Let's take a break. This is Howie Mandel, and I'm on the set of my other podcast that I usually do and will always do with the lovely Harland Williams. It's called *When a Stranger Calls*. And we'll put it up on the screen right here. Put it up on the screen. I want people to subscribe. I want you to comment. And every week, every Thursday, there's a new episode. And you could also be on the show. You look at my socials and Harland's socials, and we tell you when to call people. Uh, you call in and check your spam, because sometimes when we get back to you, it's in spam. And then you come on Zoom, and we talk to people we don't know where you are, who you are, what you want to talk about, and it's fun times. It's called *When a Stranger Calls*. Just click here to get more information. And now back to this podcast.

We're back. We're back. We are back. Um, and, uh, you took a, you took your tie off. Well, I wanted to, uh, look, things are getting, things are getting riskier on this side of the, uh, microphone, because we're about to talk to somebody who put it all on the line. So, you know who's here. Uh, her name is Bonnie Blue. Thought it was Carrot Top. Go on. No, it's Bonnie Blue. Bonnie Blue. And I don't know if you've been reading the news or you've been online. This young lady, um, have you heard of her? Bonnie? I have. She, uh, she's a gal with a game plan, and she wanted to test the limits like David Blaine, but for sexual, uh, encounters. Exactly. Bonnie, come on in. Bonnie, come on in here. She comes. So this young lady, but did she? I don't. You'll ask her. You'll. Bonnie, I'd like you to meet Dr. Phil. This is Bonnie Blue. No plastic, uh, no plastic for you, right? No, no. Watch. Put. Move the mic near you. Okay. There you go. Bonnie. Pleasure to meet you. Pleasure to meet you. I've been wanting to meet you, Doctor. I've been wanting to meet you too, because, uh, I'm interested in people who, uh, who know who they are. Mhm. But also are curious about who they can be. Yeah. Sorry, there's trouble. Get in. No, you're good. You're struggling to get it in. Get it on. Now, her mic. Oh, forgive me if this is too personal, but your mic should be close to you. She did. She fixed it. Okay. Did, did you stay friends with any of the guys? Yeah. Um, is that a surprise? Then? Well, just, just to clear it up for the audience, our audience, Bonnie Blue has, uh, become world famous now. She's from the UK. She's become world famous for. She set a record. Mhm. Does the Guinness Book of World Records, uh, do they see? Not official by Guinness World Record. No, but it's a world record. 1,000 and 57 men. You did what? I put them inside of me. I slept with them. With 12 in 12 hours. I mean, I've had six Capri Suns in 20 minutes, but that is not anywhere near to as cool as what you just did. As long as you're hydrated. Did you, what was your drink of choice? I got so many questions. Can I ask three in a row? Yes, of course. What did you drink? Pepsi Max. Who? Pepsi Max. Now, if Pepsi doesn't reach out, they might as well just call themselves Coke, because that is a, a free sponsorship if I've ever heard one. It's just you with the last guy, and I think before, as he leaves, you take a swig of Pepsi and go, "Let's run it back." You know what I'm saying? Amazing. And then Marshawn Lynch comes in, 'cause he's in all the [ __ ] drink commercials now. Okay, so that was your drink. Mhm. Did you have a, did you have a favorite? You know what I'm saying? 1057. There was two guys in tiat. Stick of mine. Only two. They stuck it in your mind. Right through the air. Well, you would get bored at some. That's my next question. At some point, and I'll come back to the favorite guy. Did you go, "I'm tired of all the v six. Who wants to put it in my ear?" Not quite. My ear is not that big. I mean, as a doctor, I thought you would have understood, but the ear is not really made for that. But I'm sure you've got stuff to learn. Well, you grew up on the other side of the country, so you're in America. America. Take it in the ear. We'll take it anywhere. I mean, any hole's a goal for you. Look, the butt is second base where I'm from. Oh, really? I'm yet to do that. Well, you're not missing out. Okay. I'll bet that mind. But maybe for next, uh, for next Fourth of July. Yeah. Who was the guy that you loved the most? Oh, you said two. There, there was two. One was the last guy because he came in singing. He was full of energy. He was singing like, "You've Got a Friend in Me." I love this guy. Uh-huh. Yeah. We touched on in on. Was he dressed like Buzz Lightyear? Well, no, he was naked, obviously. Well, you can have sex through the pants. Yeah, no, but he didn't cut a hole. He was, yeah, he was he was unclothed, and he was singing, and then he was saying, "Thank you to the camera people. I want to thank the security guys." A bit weird. Yeah. Go on. He just, it was giving out the credits. It's the end of the movie. Do they have? I hear you. Do they have a time limit? 'Cause the guys before the last guy, probably 30, 40 seconds. Yeah, yeah. So he probably got about like 60 seconds, if not two minutes, 'cause it's the end. Okay. When they come in, and again, stop me if it's too personal. It's okay. Do you look down immediately and go, "Gah"? And if you do, go, "Gah"? Do you say it out loud? No, 'cause sometimes I grab them. Say, if I'm on my back, I'd grab them by the neck first, and I probably don't even look. I just feel it and put it in. So I'm not necessarily always looking. Did you ever look? Of course. Sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes it's hard to see which one's going in because I was busy up here with my hands and my mouth. I didn't actually. I got. Stop you. Okay. I thought it was one at a time. Oh, no. I've got multiple holes, as you've said. If the ears are on for. Oh, my hands and my mouth was clearly in going to be in use. Okay. I'm going to have to stand up in a second and go get a Jamba Juice. Now, uh, one guy was in the mouth, one was in the, where God intended. Mhm. Two of the holes. Okay. So, jerk. So a double. A double Sudoku. Uh, sorry, a double. You know what? What's the price? I don't know what you call it, but yeah. We was, um, you guys are doing the Trump dance. You were, you were milking a cow. That's very funny, Howie. That was, uh, okay. So you were jerking, sucking, and taking it. M. So four talented. I mean, do you want to speak it? I do a program. Yeah. Every year, it's a big conference. It's called "How to Inspire the Uninspired." Mhm. And we had, you know, we've had Oprah, but, you know, been there, done that. Yeah. We've had, uh, Reese Witherspoon. She just read from one of her. She's hot, but she just read from one of her books. She didn't jerk off two [ __ ] clarinet players. Now, uh, I think I can hear Joe Koy laughing in the background, just 'cause I heard a little wheezing. Now, is there, is there, uh, something about the nerves that get in the way of the fun? Because if I'm sitting to take 7500 dicks to the face, Mhm. I got to. First of all, I need eight hours of sleep. Yeah. How much sleep did you get? Maybe about five hours. I was too excited. It was basically like Christmas Eve. And like, you know, when you're too excited, you can't get to sleep. That was to open up a [ __ ] PlayStation 4, not a, not a [ __ ] you know, open up my legs. That's what I was excited for. All right, that was funny. We'll keep it in. Now, did you, uh, did you, did you w-, did you go have, did, did you pick the room? What did you have snacks? Uh, I didn't have snacks. No, because I don't want to be wasting time with toilet breaks, right? So you didn't want to have like a Fruit by the Foot 'cause you're like, "I got to. I'm going to take a." I got. Did they get to do it anywhere? No, you made them. When you're getting ready to, you know, when they were, they're getting ready to fire off some. Yeah. 'Cause would you let them get to that point? Oh, 100%. I'd say anywhere and everywhere. Head to toe. I'm yours. Where would you go for? Where would you pick? Well, I'm, if you're talking to high school Phil, I mean, and by the way, I'd say anywhere, but my ears are out of action. I don't. Come on an ear. That was my high school yearbook quote. But if you're, if you're talking to 25-year-old Dr. Phil from back in the way back, yeah, uh, I'd do it on the TV 'cause I don't even want it anywhere near the gal, you know why? Respect. I got. You don't want to be near. If I have just worked that hard for that liquid gold, you best believe I want it on my face or down there. Like that is not going on the TV. Liquid gold. This, this ain't Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, sweetheart. This. Well, is. Okay. Well, you worked that hard for that end result. You're right. And I talk about that in my book. We've Got Issues. Chapter 45 is, if you, if you grab the [ __ ], you should enjoy the happy meal. Oh, you're closing the book before you get to the end page, apparently. Yeah, that's like watching the end of *Forrest Gump* before we even know where he grew up, do you know what I'm saying? Exactly. Now, Bonnie, Bonnie, right? Mhm. Did you, uh, did you get tired? Did you have a moment where you go, "I should have just. I should have just done 500"? H. No, honestly, because every time someone new came in, I was really excited. You were? Yeah. Did you have any back and forth? Any small talk? "Hi, what's your name?" A little bit. While in, I'm like, "You okay? How's your day going?" Um, small. You got to grease the wheels, right? A little bit of small talk, but not too much. Sometimes. Why? 'Cause some people came in friendship groups. So they would be stuck. What the. Wait, don't just skip over that [ __ ] detail. What do you mean, "What the [ __ ] is a friendship group?" So when you go rooms, what's a friendship group? So when you, like, your high school friends, or the friends you go to the pub with, or friends you play bingo with, like, just your group. So a group of bingo teammates came in to [ __ ] you everywhere. Yeah. You're saying I can. Did one of them. Did one of them say, like, "It's not normal"? Yeah, yeah. Next up, 69. Funny. Did anybody 69 you? Yeah, we did actually. I did a foot job as well. Uh, foot job. Night manager. Lady Foot Locker. Well, want to do the whole shabang, but yeah. I'd have someone down there. Someone sat on my face. People have different requests. I like the face sitting. I'm a big fan of that 'cause it's how you get to know someone. You're really sloping up those bomb has. What's a foot job? And I've Googled it, but I don't think it's what it actually means. I'm back with demonstrations. Well, I don't want you to [ __ ] do it, Bonnie. Well, you don't know what it is. To hide. You know, I don't. You don't want to. Well, you just describe it. Here's what I think it is. Okay. You tell me what you think it is. You walk into your house, you go to the fridge, you grab a, I don't know, a Sprat Zero. You have a little mac salad, and then you sit down, and you turn on the TV, and you go, "[ __ ] I haven't seen *Jersey Shore* in a while." You turn off the TV, you go to your bedroom, you spread your legs, and someone puts their foot in your [ __ ]. Is that it? No, not quite. What is it? Imagine I was sat here right now, my legs were up, and so imagine this is your. Well, I just touched the hand at 5500 men. And this is my feet going up and down. Do you like that, Doctor? On my hand or my dick? Well, no, your dick. But you don't want to get that. 'Cause for a second, I was like, this is fun for anybody. You're just foot [ __ ] in my wrist. Where are? I'm working with what I've got. Okay. I'm working with what I've got. And right now, what I've got is your four fingers. We'll put your thumb in there as well. So like, oh, come on, Dr. Phil. So putting my thumb in made it feel more like a penis to you? First of all, what penis was that? What guy came in with a [ __ ] oven mitt? Well, some people got thick ones, right? That's my next question. My next question. I'm going to cross my legs 'cause you just jerked my hand off with your foot. Made things a little uncomfortable. Bonnie? No, no, you're fine. But I do need to ask you. M. Did anybody come in and make you laugh, and it made it weird? Because I know women love a sense of humor. But let's say, let's say Matt from Cheshire District comes in, right? And he comes in, he's like, "Hey, Bonnie, ever seen the end of *Mary Poppins*?" And you're like, "Shut the [ __ ] up and just put it in." I said to one guy, like, "I don't know if you're making it like Sahara Desert down there, or you're getting me wet, but either way, I'm laughing." Like, some of them do make me laugh, and then it gets you going more sometimes. Like, sometimes not. Like, I can remember I was trying to pleasure someone orally, and they kept making me laugh, and it kept flopping out of my mouth. So sometimes it's a bit of a distraction if they're making me laugh too much. And if you're really laughing, you start tightening up down there, right? 'Cause your muscles contract. And people forget that the, uh, the, the, the labia, the, right, is a muscle. Mhm. I want to go to the group for a question in a second, but I got one more, Bonnie. And then Tom got a question. And look, he spent all afternoon writing down what he wanted to say, because, well, let's just say, you know, ever have that bus driver in elementary school that always winked at you? That's Tom. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So he's got a question in a couple minutes, and it might clear the room, but it also might get us thinking. Okay. Now, when you were, uh, getting ready to embark on this, uh, sexual escapade, Mhm. Did you, uh, did you inquire about any safety concerns with a doctor or family member? Did you tell your mom or your dad? Yeah, my mom and dad know. They helped me pack my bags. They helped you do what? Pack my bags for the event. Full of what? Well, I had underwear. Max. Yeah. Underwear. Pepsi Max. My teddy. Jas. You brought a teddy bear? For always. Teddy. Yeah. Yeah. How many underwear pairs? Well, only one. Okay. Yeah. Now, they walk in, they're naked. You're naked. Mhm. Again, did anybody come in creepy out? 'Cause guys historically, I've been at bars where guys have been trying to hit on girls late night. It's 2:00 AM. They got a sexual shot clock, and they want. They go up to a girl and they're like, "Time's running out. I got to get laid." And they'll say, "[ __ ] up, [ __ ]." I saw a guy at a bar I was in Tula. You ever been in Tula? No. You probably [ __ ] a guy named T. One of the guys. Did you meet all of them? Well, I had to. Yeah. But did you remember all their names? No. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. So at a bar, late night, let's say you're in Tula, and a guy comes up to you and goes, "Hey, ever been in a trunk?" And he's like, he thinks that's a pickup line. He's trying to be funny. Did a guy have a weird voice that scared you and made you want to, I don't know, call Child Services? No, not really. I really enjoyed everyone's company. I love that. Well, you have a sweet spirit, kind eyes, your voice is easy to listen to. Um, I'm glad you had fun. Yeah, life is all about testing the boundaries, right? Exactly. You don't want to be boring. What is your? Well, this is the opposite of boring. Exactly. Do you think you'll do it again? Yeah. You're going to try to top your, uh, your best? Well, the next thing I want to do is a zero-gravity gang bang, because the idea of the [ __ ] going through the air, it just reminds me of like Pac-Man, like, you know, and it's trying to collect it all. So that's next on my list. I was going to suggest something crazy like, you know, but not that. I was going to say, well, maybe, you know, maybe, uh, hop in one of the virtual reality, put on the, you know, the virtual reality goggles and, and, you know, go to France and eat a baguette. But this is also. Yeah, I mean, I've seen them, but it's fake. So I'd prefer to do it real. Would you ever? How about space? How about doing a bang, uh, a bang fest in space? Yeah. Elon Musk, hit me up. Elon Musk. Did. Of course he did. Well, no, but he'd send me up, wouldn't he? He would send you up. I don't. Can I be honest? Met him. Fine. You know, he's a little, you know, you don't want to be in a photo op if he's smacking his chest. But, uh, 'cause chances are he's going to, you know, and look, he says, you seen the salute, right? He's did. And he blamed it on autism. I've got autistic friends too, and none of them are starting a movement. Okay? Most of my autistic friends, if they smack their chest, they're, they're sucking two dicks in the air, Bonnie style, 'cause they're silly. And that's my point is, if I was you and I was trying to top my best, I would, uh, I would maybe throw in to some different types of people. Like I had a friend that used to work at the airport for TSA, and she had sex with a Down syndrome kid. Yeah, I really want to do a disabled gang bang. That's what I want. This is why. Howie, don't you cover your head? And don't you. You guys look it. Like father, like daughter. They're bowing their heads. Ianu ladnik, shell space. You're a doctor, aren't you? Yeah. When they come to your clinic, send them to me afterwards. Okay. So how about this? They come in, and I go, "How you doing?" They go, "I'm having a rough day." I go, "Well, quit being a [ __ ] [ __ ]." Yeah. And then after I say that, I usually put up one of those Nerf basketball hoops on the door and I go, "Take a shot. If you miss, I'll get the rebound. If you make it, we'll talk." Okay. We need to make sure they're disabled, though. Okay. So you want to. Okay. So I'm only gonna. How many disabled guys? 'Cause you know, not to be racist, but it's going to take a little bit more time. Really? Well, they're just moving a little. I went to school with a kid with Down syndrome, and he left Kung Fu. I don't know if D. I don't know if you can do Down syndrome, though. Why not? Well, I don't know how the consent would work. Oh, I think they'd be pretty [ __ ] into it. Okay. As long as consent is fine. But yeah, wheelchairs, blind, deaf. Yeah. I was best friends with a kid with Down syndrome, Gary. We called him Gary Downs, right? And he, uh, was pretty on the nose, and he used to always brag about eating a whole, uh, bucket of KFC chicken in under 10 minutes, which is kind of like what you're doing. Yeah. Bucket, bucket, bucket. Yeah. Buck it. [ __ ] it. Now, uh, are you going to write a book about this? Finger Licking Good. Finger. You know what? You're funny, and comedy always wins. Yeah. So that I already liked you when you came in, 'cause I don't judge, you know? Yeah. Uh, but I assist. M. And the fact that you're funny and liart called Peppa Piggy. Peppa Pig. But, but what I mean by that, have you seen *Peppa Pig*? What's your favorite show? What did you do? What did you do after the, the festivities ended? 1500, uh, 1300, 1,57. [ __ ]. So that's just so much dick. Say it with me. By the way, we did a game show. Guess for us. Let me [ __ ] finish. When there was a, if we did a game show called "Will It Fit?" And you were like, and it was interviewing. It's like, it's like the dating game, right? Yeah, but it's with you and taking all the [ __ ]. Every. Put it. [ __ ]. Put one in my armpit. Mike, you know. And, uh, and then the audience, when when we bring them out, they pull their pants down, and we go, "Will it fit?" We can brainstorm it, but I always got a conference room. Yeah, this would fit. So what was your question, uh, for breakfast? I had divorce sausage McMuffin. No, a double sausage. Oh, double. Sorry. The accent's getting in the way. Yeah, double sausage McMuffin. And then did the guy laugh when he gave it to you? Um, 'cause you were like, "Let me get a double sausage McMuffin." Like he had to laugh. That's funny. Have you heard of Uber? Are Uber that? I gotta be honest, I'm going to need some close captioning for that last statement. Uber order food? Yeah. Oh, Postmates, DoorDash. Yeah. There's a smart kid that lives in my neighborhood. He'll just go to 7-Eleven every couple weeks for me and get me a bag of Cashews. Yeah, basically. So, yeah, I Uber a McDonald's. And then in the evening, got the room. Was it a room or a house or motel? Let's give it a shout out. Actually, wait. Don't they need to pay up? Hey, Linda, you know who you are, and what happened there, don't you? [ __ ] talk about it without sh-, putting your money where your mouth is, like Cuba Gooding Jr. in *Jerry Maguire*. You seen that? Uh, no. If you could have any movie on in the background while you're [ __ ] and sucking, what would it be? Um, *Fury*. I quite like that movie. Good movie. Mhm. Really good. Who's in that? I forget the names. These some really famous people in it. I'm not good with names. Clearly. Numbers with dick sizes and numbers. Numbers. Mhm. Was it last question, and then I'm going to open it up to the group. Did you have, and I mean this with all sincerity, did you have fun? Yeah. A lot of fun. Then, you know what? There's nothing wrong with it. Yeah. I guarantee you the guys had fun. That's what I mean. It's. I understand this isn't normal for everyone, and everyone will look. It's not normal for anyone, but yeah, it's, but I had fun. People in the queue had fun. Everyone had an amazing day. So I'm like, who, who are these strangers to judge? Has, uh, Make-A-Wish reached out to you at all? Great question. How? No, that would be good though. But I just don't think they'd associate themselves with me. Oh, well, that's their loss, isn't it? Make-A-Wish children, though. Isn't only children? Does it have to be? I think it's only children. Okay. Well, if it was adults, just dying adults. Well, anyway, I think you asked all the questions there are to ask. I'll ask. Appreciate the hon. Bonnie, would you ever come back and, uh, just do an episode yourself? An episode myself? What do you mean? Just me? Yeah, yeah. Of course. No, no. Bring the 1057 guys with you. We'd love to get their take on. I mean, this room is big, but I don't quite think it would fit everyone. Would fit. How big was the room? Um, like, was there a couch in there? 'Cause again, yeah, you went all the, the [ __ ] spaces, right? A futon, a fridge, a laundry machine. It was actually filmed in a mansion, so like, there was a basement where we could keep like 300, 400 people at a time. Hold on a second. So there were waiting. Like they were auditioning for *Step by Step*, you know, ever seen that show with Patrick Duffy? It's fine. We'll cut to a clip. They, there's, there's something to be said about making them wait, get them hungry, excited. Yeah, but also they talk to each other. Like they have to wait like 10 hours. Some of them did. Did they get to know each other? Yeah, they become friends. Like, there's this one guy, and he was like, "Look, I've never had a friendship group before. Like, I haven't been able to socialize much." He left that with a friendship group. He now goes out with them socializing. And I'm like, "Wow, like, what a beautiful experience." 'Cause it's hard when you're an adult to make friends. It really is. I talk about that in my book. We've Got Issues. Connecting is all about disconnecting from your fears. Yeah. I saw you look away like you were uninterested in my book. No, I just. I'll just lean in. I like reading. What do you, what's your favorite book? *The Happiest Man on Earth*. What's that about? Like World War II? About this guy that escapes. He leaves school. He, like, yeah. So you're just a regular old girl who just one day woke up and was like, "One penis ain't enough. Yeah, I need more." Do, do you need it, or do you just want it? I crave it. You hear that, Pepsi Max? Well, we appreciate you coming. Your, your honesty and your, your, uh, your ability to open up, no pun intended, is, uh, is not only miraculous but, um, uh, infectious. And I think that, uh, am I inspiring you to do the same? You really are. Can I be honest? I, I wasn't sure what to expect. Probably like Usher number 805. He probably walked in singing [ __ ] Usher in his head, right? Thought he was like, he's like, "Maybe I'll dance." Right? Like, I'm sure some of the guys were like, "Maybe I'll do doggy first, then missionary." And then they got in their [ __ ] head. I've done that with my wife 48 years. IO. I'll eat her out first, then I fall asleep on the couch. Well, don't watch *The Shield*. Da. It is daunting. Anyone that's in that queue, I say, hat's off to them, because it's intimidating. You're walking in a room, you've just queued, you're naked in front of people you've never met. And also, they're not used to be naked around strangers. And if they feel slightly insecure, like, it actually really helps their confidence come into something like this. Last question, and then, and then I'll let you go. I know I got a bus to catch, and you got a Bird scooter to ride. Is, uh, is there something about, did you, did you ever think? Let me rephrase. Yeah. What would you tell kids at home who maybe want to try this? Not kids. Adults with dreams. Adults. Um, if that's what you want to do in life, strive big and take all that cck. Right. Where's her camera? Where's. One more time. This is your camera right here. Okay. If you a routine and you want to do it. Well, so second, Joe Koy, give me a little slow ballad. Give me a little inspiring, you know, like at the end of *Full House* when Saget rip would would come into DJ's room and go, "DJ, you got to stop eating nachos." And she's like, "You're not the about me." I [ __ ] I don't do voices. But so, so give me a little sad, sappy TV theme inspirational, like, "Here's the message of the show." And then Bonnie's going to close us out. Or at least this moment. Yeah, no, she'll close us out. She'll close us out, but the legs will stay open. And she'll tell us. I feel wrong having him cross now. No, no, no. Well, no, now you look like me at a Dave and Buster's. Put. Put those legs back together. Sorry. You do what you want. You do what you want. I, I don't. Never. I know. Let the record show I don't ever tell anyone to do what their life, but I tell them to make good choices. And you have, Bonnie. Right to the C. This is how he does stuff. If you're 18 and you want to inspire to sleep with over a thousand men, then I highly recommend it. Take all those fluids, take all those [ __ ], and do it on a regular basis. It's brilliant exercise, and you should always stay healthy. Wow. And if you don't have the confidence to [ __ ] a thousand strangers, hey, meet me at the pickleball court on Sundays at 2 p.m., and I'll show you a good time. It won't involve as much come, but it'll. Well, it might. We'll be right back. That's great. We'll be right back. That was great. Uh, subscribe, and, uh, I want people to, uh, comment. M. M. M. And, uh, thank you, Bonnie. And I want you to come on, maybe in a couple weeks. Will you come on and do my, my show? Yeah. 100%. Okay. 100%. Wow, that'd be great. And Dr. Phil, thanks for, thanks for having me. Uh, and we'll check out your website, and we'll follow you on tour. Are you doing any in Europe? Not yet, but we're, we're trying to get Australia and London. We're trying to get going. So once we get Australia, London, yeah, we'll come right to London. My age and Adam Ray went to London, did two the Leicester Square Theatre. I can show you the house I slept in. Well, I the men [ __ ] me in. Let me check. Let me check with my wife and see if she's cool with it. Oh, don't tell her. Okay. Well, she. Okay. Uh, but, uh, ring check. U. But, uh, we'll talk about it. Um, but AdamRay.com is where all the, uh, stand-up shows and Dr. Phil Live Theater tour. Dallas, Atlanta, Nashville, Boston, uh, Kansas City, Indianapolis. We're hitting them all. Um, and I appreciate you all right. Okay, to pick us out.

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Adam Ray as "Dr. Phil" Goes Deep with the Girl Who Slept with Over 1,000 Men, Bonnie Blue

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