Transcription
Majority of modern men do not have a fundamental idea or concept of identity, self-worth, and character for that matter, not to mention vision and purpose, which is largely why they cannot attract or retain relationships with women. This is very important to comprehend.
Majority of men also don't understand how important career is and life vision, especially when it comes to retaining interest levels because you have a sense of self-character. This will all make sense in just a little bit.
When you think of a guy who has status, okay, and why this helps him attract women, I'm going to really be breaking this down for you in a lot of different ways. When you think of a guy who has status, who can attract women, that status that's acquired is typically earned through career. Very rarely, if ever, will you find a guy who has a lot of fame or a lot of status or a lot of fans or is very well-known. Very rarely will you ever find that guy being able to acquire that status without it being tied to career.
So if you think of someone famous, if you think of someone known, okay, and maybe this guy is looked at as like, you know, just a real ladies man or whatever. If you think of the identity, the character, okay, let's just use a few examples here. Professional athlete, identity, character, vision, drive, born with a god-given skill set that that individual developed. Now, let's look at a famous musician. God-given skill set. That individual, that man took that skill set and pushed forward, developed it, and it shows hard work, and it shows vision.
The typical mindset would be just blame that other guy. So you say, "Oh yeah, easy for him. He's a famous musician." Well, you don't see the hundreds or thousands of hours in the studio. You don't see the hundreds or thousands of hours on tour preparing for all the stuff. If you see a professional athlete, you don't see the thousands of hours dedicated in the weight room and learning all the plays and all of that.
Now, those are just a couple hyperspecific examples. But now, let's look at certain professions, okay, that more men have that are still very attractive to women. If you think of like, um, a woman's fantasy, right, or her fantasy man, the guy she's always thinking about, a lot of times it's a specific type of guy. So if you look at career, or if you look at a guy who has acquired status due to career, a woman maybe views herself as being with the pilot, okay? Being with the surgeon, being with the doctor. Okay.
When you understand that career and purpose and vision and even your ability to acquire resources and your money-making potential and everything is intertwined into you, you're going to start to see game. You're going to start to see dating. You're going to see all of this very differently.
Now, there is a lot of men who have this complete excuse of not wanting to be put into the provider category. This makes absolutely no sense. There are two sides to hypergamy. There is the side that basically triggers romantic desire and she wants to sleep with you. And there is also the side that ties to long-term provisioning or providing if kids were involved or if there was a family. Both are important.
Now, there's also this preconceived notion that you're either one or the other. And men will often tell themselves, "Oh, well, you know, I'd rather just go out every weekend and, you know, I don't really care what happens with my life and I'm just going to be the bad boy because, uh, you know, women sleep with those guys, too." And it's like, "Okay, cool. Sure, tell yourself that. But let me tell you something very important. You can maximize status. You can maximize career. You can maximize purpose. You can maximize vision while still increasing your sex appeal to where maybe a woman would want to sleep with you, um, quickly once she meets you or she has a lot of romantic desire. It's not like it's one or the other. You can do both. This is how you satisfy hypergamy is by being both.
So, a huge reason why men can't attract women is because they have never looked at their career and who they are as tying it to a deep-rooted drive and purpose and ambition to find an overall sense of self and character and identity. My personal belief is you don't find that until you start listening to your God-given calling, your God-given intuition. When you listen to that God-given intuition, you start to see, hey, God blessed me with these skills, these traits. It's my job to nourish that, to develop that, to nurture that. And when you do that, you start to have a stronger sense of self. Okay?
So this is really, really important for you to understand because what majority of guys do is they look at income or they look at just their job mainly, um, you know, as a way of just getting by or making money. And not only is this going to lead to a lot of, um, disappointment because you're not going to be fulfilled to your maximum potential, but a lot of times what happened was guys would just follow the herd. So like if all your friends went to college, you told yourself, "I got to go to college. Now I got to get this specific job. Now, once I get this specific job, I'm going to just get by and I'm going to, uh, make my money and hopefully I meet someone."
But when you have that mindset of "I'm just going to get by and hopefully I meet someone," you are neglecting the deep root of what a woman looks at when it comes to her own interest and her own attraction level towards you because of who you are, which ties to character and which ties to identity.
Now, this is another thing that most men need to hear, and I think that most men don't understand this. Most men do not work hard enough in order to get to where they want to be. They just don't. They don't work hard enough. I don't know why, but they just don't. I don't know what better there is to do other than chase your goals and your dreams and your passions and your purpose. For me personally, if I'm not doing that, if I'm not upleveling me on my own trajectory in life, I'm completely bored. I cannot sit down and watch TV for more than 30 seconds to a minute, and I'm just like bored. I can't sit down and just play video games because it's almost like you're cheating on your future self. It's, I feel like I'm cheating on my purpose, my vision, where I want to be in life.
So when you start to understand this stuff, it's like when you see hypergamy is two sides of the equation. There is who she optimizes for short term, which leads to her high interest and her romantic desire, but there's also traits long term. You start to see you can be both and you can do both. You can maximize all areas in your life. You can be a guy with a lot of sex appeal, and you can also be that guy who has a lot of long-term potential. In fact, I would say that's even better for you because it's going to be very, very hard for a woman to replace you. She might be able to go out and get like a hotter guy on paper, maybe for the short term, but is that truly who she wants when it comes to satisfying hypergamy?
You have to understand that she fundamentally sees attraction differently than you. So when you look at guys who have a lot of status or guys who maybe attract a lot of women, or maybe it's guys who are known for something or known for being great, there is a level of ambition and dedication and purpose and drive that is wired into that guy that the average dude just doesn't have. And in my opinion, it's not like he doesn't have it because he can't access it. In my opinion, he's choosing not to.
Everything in your life starts to change when you dedicate yourself to that vision. Now, are you going to be as famous and high status and as known as a famous athlete or a famous musician or a famous, you know, movie star? Probably not. But I would say that you can get ahead further and maximize your own potential way more than majority of men out there.
Now, the only way you understand this is you have to understand why identity and the root and the core of the man is so important. You have to understand this. Maybe you go back a thousand years ago. Maybe things were more primal. Let's say, let's use this as an example. She's going to be viewing the character and the status individually of each guy that's around her. This guy is the farmer. This guy is the man who's known for hunting. This guy is the guy over here who's known for this or that. And what happens is she associates her future with his future.
A woman stays with you when she decides that it is a good idea for herself to align her future with his future. I will say that one more time. A woman stays with you long-term when she realizes that it is a good idea for herself and for future survival to align her future with his future. If she personally feels or she personally believes that aligning herself with his future will be a worse life experience than if she were alone, she will not associate herself with that guy.
This is why it is so important to chase your own success, to chase your own status, to chase your own purpose, to chase your own vision because it is rooted in identity and sense of self. And this is one thing that game cannot make up for: sense of self and sense of character. This is one thing that a woman looks at and she goes, "There is no way I can replace this guy easily." Maybe I can find a guy who's taller. Maybe I can find a guy who has like one attraction metric a little bit better than this current dude that I'm with. But overall, it's going to be very, very, very hard to replace that guy.
And see, a big issue with this is men not actually understanding what women are attracted to. It's not until you can almost see the world through her lens of attraction that you can start to focus on the right areas in your own life. When you focus on the right areas in your own life and you start to actually level up your SMV, your sexual market value, it is almost impossible not to attract more women. It's almost impossible not to retain the relationship that you want.
Because you have to understand this, the deeper level your sense of self, the deeper level your sense of identity, the deeper level your sense of character, you are fundamentally becoming a more masculine option. You are fundamentally becoming more of a man's man. A man's man has true sense of self, true sense of character, and he does not bend or break that character because he knows himself and he knows who he is.
So all of you need to understand this. What you want to do and what you need to do is you need to look at yourself as the maximum highest-level celebrity in your own domain. If you are a farmer, I want you to become the best, most well-known farmer that has ever existed in your area. If you are an accountant, I want you to become the best accountant. If you are a real estate agent, I want you to make it a goal where you can't even drive for more than a mile without somebody seeing your sign in the ground for a specific listing. If you are a professional athlete watching this, I want you to become the best possible. Like whatever it is, you need to become known. You need to dedicate yourself to that craft and that vision. And that's something that most guys don't have. Is most guys don't have that ambition and that drive and that purpose to keep pushing.
You have to unlock a new level of you. And when you do this, you satisfy hypergamy more than majority of men because she can tell that you are fundamentally wired just a little bit differently.
So why is this so important? Why is this so important? You might be sitting here saying, "Well, Casey, why is it so important that this man develops his character and the sense of self?" I will explain. The more she sees these internal traits that you have, and the greater your sense of self and the greater your sense of character, the more she starts to see that you have the ability to acquire resources in the future that leads to safety and survival. Notice I gave a little bit more complex answer than just he has money. See, the average dude does not understand this at all. The guy goes, "Oh, money." You think it's about the tangible asset or the actual dollar amount in the bank account. It has nothing to do with that.
If she reproduces with you, like she's looking at your genes, who you are, what traits do you have as an individual? So, the sentence that I used was your ability to acquire resources in the future. Okay, this is why both sides of hypergamy is important. Not only do you have to have and you should have and you should be maximizing your own sex appeal. Yes, become more charismatic. Yes, develop a better body in the gym. Yes, get leaner. Yes, be a better speaker. Yes, communicate effectively so she sees that you have confidence. Sure.
But the other side of this as well: competent, smart, successful, stable, patient, not quick to react, can hold masculine frame, doesn't fold under pressure, is going somewhere in life. Even if he has a bad day emotionally, it doesn't ruin his ambition or his purpose. Doesn't start using vices or start going out drinking all the time to escape from reality. Make no mistake, that's the long-term stuff over here that creates a dynamic where she looks at you and she goes, "There's no way in hell I can replace this guy. He is too solid."
So, why do I give the answer "ability to acquire resources in the future"? Because it comes down to genetics. She looks at you and she goes, "He's wired differently." He is wired differently. He has the ability to work harder, work longer. There is more stability here. If I have kids with this man, not only is our future safe, but I feel safe when I'm around him. I understand that if I have kids with him, myself and my kids, we will not starve. This guy has that mindset where no matter what happens, come hell or high water, he will do what is required to either use his skill set to get to where he needs to be in life or number two, acquire the skill set and the network and the people around him needed, okay, to develop and to survive.
This is why this is so important. Men have to have a constant sense of self and a constant sense of character and a constant sense of identity. And if your current job or your current career or your current occupation has led you to a point where you feel like you are just getting by, you are in this energy every single day where it's like you don't know where your future's headed. Sure, you might be able to go out to a party or something and maybe talk to a woman, but like what happens on date number seven when she starts hanging out with you more and she starts actually getting to know you and she sees that she could literally walk down the street and find another replica of you in about 60 seconds? Like you have to become known for something. You have to become known and you have to develop. I will say that again. You have to become known and you have to develop.
A lot of guys do this in different ways. Okay? Some guys when they're younger, they do this through throwing house parties and they have a lot of status because they're known because all of the other people in the hometown want to come and party. Okay, cool. Some guys do this through being a really good athlete, especially when they're younger, maybe in high school, college. They're known. They're able to attract women. But listen, everybody gets older. You are going to get older, too. And eventually, those types of situations don't hold as much weight. Okay?
So what do you have to do? You have to get older and you have to mature. As you mature, you start to see that the only thing you have is your future self, your future, and your vision, which ties into career. We only have a certain amount of hours per day. We have to spend about an hour a day going to the gym maybe and keeping up with our diet and our fitness. We have to spend six, seven, eight hours a night sleeping. Okay. So, you're left with anywhere from like, let's say, 12 to 14 hours per day. What are you going to do with that time? You better go and maximize yourself, or she's going to find a guy who is.
So, if you're this guy who constantly thinks that, you know, "I can solve all this with better RZ. I can solve this by learning how to text message better. I can solve this by holding frame more." You're fundamentally neglecting your own character development. She stays with the character. She stays with the identity.
If a woman describes her fantasy man or if a woman describes a man in a romance novel that was written for a female audience, let's say, if you look at the status or the occupation or the identity of the man, it is typically associated with a character: billionaire, surgeon, doctor, um, you know, a famous person in this specific city known for this. It's some type of archetype or identity. You have to look at yourself overall as a character. And when you look at yourself as a character, you can chase that and you can perfect that character. And every day you can make small 1% wins to your future life and your future life setup and who you are to that character.
But it is not until you understand this that you are unique. You are going to have to find your own God-given calling. You are going to have to find your own God-given skill set. You are going to have to search and find that calling that you were meant for. Some of you were meant to be the greatest real estate agent that ever lived. Some of you are meant to be the greatest accountant that ever lived. Some of you are meant to be the greatest, most well-known heart surgeon that ever lived. Some of you are meant to be the greatest fitness influencer. Some of you are meant to be the greatest basketball player, the greatest football player of all time. Doesn't matter what it is. She focuses on you when you focus on you. Always, and I mean always, remember that.