Transcription
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So, today again we're talking about detachment. People love videos on detachment, and I think it's because we're all attached. We're all attached. When will we be free? Detachment is about making the center of your world you, versus the center of your world, somebody else. So, if somebody else decides to leave your life, your world doesn't crumble down. It also means you don't allow other people to make you the center of their world because they're putting you on a pedestal. And guess what? You will always fall from that pedestal no matter what. Because the expectations someone has of you in their own little fantasy world, it will never match up because you're a human. You're going to fall.
Detachment is about not overpersonalizing outcomes and starting to see life and people clearly and for who they are. So, these are some unhinged ways you can master detachment in your life. Number one, blame the universe or God for everything. That person walks out of your life, you're like, "Oh my god, [ __ ] you. Why did you do this to me? You abandoned me. You're triggered. You're spiraling. Oh my god, everyone leaves me. Everybody hurts me." Wait, what have I just lame? The universe. Universe, you made this person leave me again. And the universe is like, "Yes, Hassy. I made them leave you because I'm trying to teach you a lesson to heal your abandonment wound so that when somebody good comes into your life, you're actually secure and you can not run away and you can fully appreciate them and have a healthy relationship."
When you just shift the perspective from everything is not happening to me, it's happening for me. That's when a lot of detachment can happen as well because you release control. You release the need to control the outcome. And also it's important to note you can't control people and you don't own people. At the end of the day, people are going to do whatever they want and they can turn on you, but it's not a reflection of you. Stop overpersonalizing everything someone does. It is not a reflection of you or a reflection of your worth. And part of mastering detachment is the ability to be like, even though this person hurt me, even though they made me feel like I am unlovable, even if they triggered all of my wounds, even if they betrayed me, it is not a reflection of my worth. And I choose to remain soft. I choose to believe in love. I choose to believe that there are still good people in the world. Because when somebody hurts you, you want to close up. And especially if they're confirming your fears, like this is not the first person that did it. It might be the third, the fifth. So at this point, you might be like, damn, everyone's going to hurt me. Everyone's going to show me that I'm worth so little. They're all going to leave me at the end of the day. But you need to choose to believe that this is not the truth. And at the end of the day, reality is just reflecting what is inside and your deepest fears. So you need to let people be who they're going to be. You need to let them walk away if they want to walk away from you.
Do not pedestal people. If you're someone who has BPD, your CPTTSD, your anxious attachment, even avoidant attachment, people do this. You might meet someone and very quickly bond to them. You feel like they see your soul. I've never met someone who has seen me like this before. And you can bond so quickly. You know, whatever happens fast starts fast. It's going to end just as fast because there's actually no depth. There's no time in that relationship. And often when things start so fast, it's because you're idolizing it. You're everything I've been looking for. You don't see the flaws. You're blinded. And eventually you start to see the flaws. Over time, it gets revealed and it crumbles. Which is why it's so important to detach from the outcome of a person. To wait and let them show you exactly who they are. And don't try to see it differently. If somebody shows you they don't care, but in the past they showed you I cared a lot, you might stick around to be like, "Oh, let me see if they change. Maybe they're just going through something." And you might try to rewrite the narrative. No, they do care about me because they used to do XYZ thing. People change, circumstances change, and it's beyond our control. I always say to my friends when, you know, there's a situation with a man. Oh, in the past used to do XYZ thing. We hold on to that ideal of them. Oh, maybe they can become this again. I always say he liked you then. That's why he did all that. He doesn't like you now. Why he doesn't like you now, we don't know. It could have been something you did. It could have been something that changed in his life. It could be another person. All we know is it's out of your control. And this goes for friendships as well. So, if we're able to release control and not allow that person to affect our identity, be solid within ourselves, that is when you've mastered detachment. Because even though someone who has meant so much to you has left you or they've hurt you, you know you have yourself. You know without them that you are still whole.
Data collector, we date for data. Women, we attach very easily to men. And I think it's just so deeply rooted in the fact that we want to feel chosen. We often get into relationships, especially in the past before uh there was a lot of this content like Shira 7 online. We would get into relationships because a man chose us. Not because we wanted him, because he chose us. But now it's shifting. We are deciding, do I actually want to choose that man just because he chose me? Should I even be with him? So, we weren't dating for data. We were dating to be chosen and to feel special. But you know, my friends who have been in the most successful relationships, they were always detached. They dated for data. And what that meant is, watch this video by the way. What it meant is they were trying to discover themselves more. If they thought, okay, I wanted ABC thing. They went on a date with a guy who had ABC thing. They were like, "Oh, actually it's not for me." They discovered this through dating and they didn't attach. I started dating when I was 22. Like I broke up with my ex I think I was 20 or 21. I didn't date for 2 years cuz honestly I felt like a child and I didn't dating was like not even on my radar. So when I first started to date, because I had so little data, I would attach. I would attach because I didn't have the other data there. If one person didn't like me, I'm like, what is wrong with me? By the way, I was younger. What is wrong with me? Now I go on dates. Sometimes we we don't talk ever again. There's not even a hey, we didn't vibe. There's just ghost. Doesn't affect me. Detached. It's one date. It's two dates. Who cares? But each time I got something out of it, I realized, hey, I don't really bond with this type of person. I'm actually looking for this instead.
This can lead to another point. Detachment is also about not overstaying where you're not welcome. This goes back to wanting to be chosen. If someone's rejecting us, the wound in us that doesn't want to be abandoned might try to fight for their affection and fight for love and prove yourself. Like please. Like it's not even about them loving you. It's about being chosen and being seen. Why are you rejecting me? Let me show you. I'm so great. You might not even know that you're doing it, but you're you're performing. You might perform with your friends. You might perform for yourself. It's about setting that boundary with yourself as well. That where I'm not chosen or where I am not loved, even in friendships, I have to walk away and I have to choose myself. Nothing that is meant for you, you need to chase. You don't need to prove your worth to anybody.
And also, it's about alignment. Some people, they're just not on your frequency. We bond with people who are on our same energetic level. If someone's up here, they're going to attract people up here. If you're down here, you're going to be attracted to them. They're not going to be attracted to you. There has to be a balance. We get exactly what we are putting out. We attract exactly who we are. Unless for example high vibe person, narcissist, maybe this high vibe person is very sweet, easily manipulated and then this person can take advantage of them and guess what? Bring them down to this level and then in turn the knock can raise their frequency. I like to have the mindset of it's not that deep. Sometimes things are deep though. Sometimes they really hurt us. And this is why I don't like wall detachment content where it's like h emotionless run away. You don't feel. You should feel. Otherwise, pain is stored in the body. It's going to come out as illness later on. You're going to hold on that pain and it's going to come out later on. Process it. Grieve. Write about it. Talk to your therapist. Talk to chat GPT. And then release. Release control. It's not that deep. If it doesn't matter in 5 years time, it's not that deep.
Next, you should move with the mindset that not everybody gets access to you. I don't remember who said this, but they were saying if you saw yourself as a king or a queen, but you let someone access you so easily, how did they get past the queen's gods? Because the queen is on a throne. She has gods around her. How did they bypass that and get access to you without even proving themselves? Do you think the queen's gods are going to let anyone come through to see the queen? They could have a bomb. They could be trying to kill the queen. Yet, you, allegedly a queen, are letting everybody into your life. And guess what? Each little person, they might just be giving you a little paper cut. But what happens when you get a thousand paper cuts? Have these barriers, have these boundaries. And more than that, you need to know exactly what you want. So when it appears in front of you, hey, you can tell the guards, let them in. Have the mentality that I will not abandon myself to prevent being abandoned by others. Which means you might be performing. You might be hiding the truest parts of yourself, the messy parts of yourself, because you believe in order for me to be loved and to be accepted and for people to stay, I need to perform. I cannot show the vulnerable messy parts of me. But by doing that, you're just going to be so exhausted. And like, and going back to an earlier point, people are going to leave if they want to. They might leave the performative version of yourself. And then you'll be like, "Damn, I thought I perfected this version of me." Yet, you left that as well. Imagine if you saw the real me. You need to show up as your authentic self. And even in dating, okay, I'm going to be this character. She's put together. She's perfect. She's lovely. She's so feminine. You're not showing up as your authentic self. You might get that person, but you're going to perform forever. Or eventually the real you will come out. They might see it and be like, "Wait, I don't even recognize you." And eventually in that process, you're going to lose yourself. If you show up authentically, you're going to attract the same people on that frequency. So, you might as well be you from day one.
Okay, guys. Okay, guys, that is the end of this video. Thank you so much for watching. Go sign up to Slay Society merch. We're going to be dropping in the next few days. I've been saying this for so long, but bro, I swear the universe has been recently. I'm trying to launch and we are launching better than ever. Go to the Instagram, re-share the post. We have worldwide shipping. Free shipping if you get two shirts. Otherwise, globally, it's $10 shipping. I hope you guys enjoy this video. I love you so much. Go check out the life formula as well. Here are some of the other shirts that make me love my own god complex. You know it. This is the updated redesign of never let your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband. We also have never let your boyfriend stop you from finding your wife. Few will understand, many will see. This is like my number one quote. You guys don't know how many of these quotes I'm behind. I mean, real ones know. Real ones know that I invented Never Let Your Boyfriend Stop You From Finding Your Husband. That blew up. The next one I predict is going to blow up is guilty until proven innocent man skeptic. There was another one, bro. There was there was more. I just can't remember what they are, but retired crash out antisocialite man skeptic. We have an entire # I hate my boyfriend collection. Oopsie. My potential husband's going to see that and get afraid. But you know what? I'm not changing who I am. If he's for me, he will understand that it's a joke. I'm # I hate my boyfriend. # I love my husband. [ __ ] kiss [Music] away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Back to my lips. [Music] Nothing. Diamonds over and over honey. Over and over honey. Over and over honey. Over and over honey. You are my honey. You are my love. You are my love.